And Then There Were Three
by flamecloud23
Summary: Dipper and Mabel were born triplets, with another sister named Willow. When they come to Gravity Falls and find the journal, their lives get turned around. Follow their adventure, filled with romance, mystery, supernatural beings, and other general craziness. Unless I say otherwise, or there are technical difficulties, updates will be every other Saturday.
1. Tourist Trapped

**Gravity Falls is the best show ever. I will be writing a chapter for almost every episode in the series. This is the first fanfiction I have written and I plan to write many more. Hope you enjoy.**

 **Disclaimer: Everything Gravity Falls belongs to Alex Hirsch, except for my OC Willow. This concept belongs to Kihonne.**

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 **Dipper's POV (June 15** **th** **)**

 _Ah, summer break. A time for leisure, recreation, and taking 'er easy. Unless your me._

We're in a golf cart being chased by a bunch of gnomes that had piled together to make one giant, evil gnome creature. "It's getting closer!" My sister yelled at me, about to puke. "Drive faster, I'm running out of bolts!" My other sister yelled, shooting bolts at the gnomes, trying to kill them.

 _My name is Dipper, the girl about to puke is my sister Mabel, and the girl with the crossbow is my sister Willow. We're triplets. Mabel is older than me by 5 minutes, and Willow is younger than me by 5. You may be wondering what we're doing in a golf cart fleeing from a creature of unimaginable horror._

I looked back and saw the gnomes throwing a tree in our path. "Look out!" Willow yelled, shooting her last bolt at the creature as Mabel tried to grab the wheel.

 _Rest assured there's a perfectly logical explanation. Let's rewind. It all began when our parents decided we needed some fresh air. They shipped us up north to a town called Gravity Falls in Oregon, to stay at our great-uncle's place in the woods._

"This attic is amazing. Check out all my splinters!" Mabel screeched, turning around from hanging a poster on the wall.

"This attic is not amazing, this place is not amazing and I just want to go home. Why did our parents have to send up here in the first place?" Willow yelled back, pushing Mabel's hands away from her face.

"Your just upset because you won't get to see your boyfriend all summer," Mabel teased.

"And there's a goat on my bed." I said, staring at a beige goat with half of one of his horns gone and really creepy yellow eyes. Mabel held out her hand and the goat started chewing on her sleeve. "Hi, friend. You can keep chewing on my sweater. I'm going to call you Gompers."

"Maybe I can do experiments on the goat and turn everyone on earth half goat to make the human race more intelligent." Willow said, eyeing the goat to decide if it would actually work.

"There's no way you are going to do that." Mabel yells at her.

"Whatever."

 _Mabel tends to look on the bright side of things. Whereas Willow tends to look at the creepy side of things, and turns every moment she can into a creepy one. I was having a hard time getting used to our new surroundings._

I was leaning against a tree stump with a woodpecker on my head watching Mabel rolling down a hill of grass when our great uncle Stan jumped out wearing a mask. I jumped and he started to laugh.

 _Our uncle had transformed his house into a tourist trap he called "The Mystery Shack." The real mystery was why anyone came. And guess who had to work there; me, Mabel and Willow._

"Time for work." Stan said as he turned around and started going down the stairs.

Mabel saw a large eyeball that was part of the junkie merchandise and tried to touch it. "No touching the merchandise." Stan said slapping Mabel's hand with his cane.

"Yeah don't touch that, because the eyeball used to belong to someone and the first person who touches it gets followed by the eyeball. It watches you for every second until you die. And it will cause your death. After it follows you for two years it will turn into a horrifying monster and will eat you alive and you will suffer a horrible, painful death." Said Willow creepily causing Mabel to scream and hide under the counter. I went to get her out and it was not easy. But I eventually I got her out.

 _It looked like it was gonna be the same, boring routine all summer. Until one fateful day…_

Mabel had put a note in a boy's backpack. The guy started going through his backpack, then pulled out the note. "He's reading it. He's reading it." Mabel exclaimed, watching from behind a shelf of Stan bobbleheads.

"Do you like me? Yes? Definitely? Absolutely?" The boy said reading the note out loud.

"I rigged it." Mable said, giggling excitedly.

"Be careful Mabel, because one of the guys you meet will end up saying yes. Then he will turn out being some crazy Zombie, or Vampire, or a Werewolf." Willow warned Mabel.

"That could never happen." Argued Mabel.

"I agree with Willow. Mabel, I know you're going through your whole "Boy Crazy" phase, but I think your kind of overdoing it with the "crazy" part."

"What, come on Dipper! This is our first summer away from home! It's my big chance to have a summer romance." Mabel said then turned to look at the boy again.

"Yeah but do you really need to flirt with every single guy you meet?"

Willow started thinking about the times Mabel flirted with random guys and said, "Remember the time you saw that guy near the greeting card display and you said, 'My name is Mabel, but you can call me the girl of your dreams. I'm joking!' And then you started laughing and pushed him into the display."

I started thinking too and said, "Or the time you were at the bus stop and you saw that guy with the turtle and said, 'OMG, you like turtles? I like turtles too! What is happening here?'"

"Or the time you were in a mattress store and a guy that worked there said, 'Come one, Come all, to the Mattress Prince's kingdom of savings.' And then you jumped out and said, 'Take me with you.'" Willow continued.

"Mock me all you want but I have a good feeling about this summer. I wouldn't be surprised if the man of my dreams walked through that door right now." Mabel said, gesturing to the door to the main part of the house. Unfortunately, Stan walked through the door. "Aww! Why!" Mabel yelled.

"All right people. I need someone to go hammer up these signs in the spooky part of the forest."

Willow, Mabel, and I all quickly said "Not it."

One of the other workers at the Mystery shack, a twenty-year-old Hispanic guy named Soos, said, "Uh, also not it."

"Nobody asked you Soos" Stan said

"I know and I'm comfortable with that." Soos said, taking a bite out of a chocolate bar.

Stan turned to a 15-year-old red-head named Wendy and said "Wendy, I need you to put up this sign!"

Wendy, who had her feet on top of the counter, pretended to reach for the signs and said sarcastically, "I would but I, ugh, can't, ugh, reach it, ugh…" Then continued to read her magazine.

"I'd fire all of you if I could. Let's make it… eeeny, meeny, miney, you." And pointed at me.

"Aw, what? Grunkle Stan, whenever I'm in those woods, I feel like I'm being watched." I complained.

"This again." Stan said, rolling his eyes.

"I'm telling you something weird is going on in this town. Just today, my mosquito bites spelled out BEWARE."

"Maybe be the mosquito bites will give you a weird medicine that will turn you superhuman. But it only works for a little while. After two weeks your superpowers will fade away. Then a week later the venom will start to eat away at your brain," Willow said in her normal creepy way.

"That only works on Mabel," I said to Willow flatly.

"And that says BEWARB," Mable said, pointing at my arm. Realizing she was right, I hid my arm behind my back, blushing.

"Look kid. The whole monsters in the forest thing is just local legend, drummed up by guys like me to sell merch to guys like that," Stan said pointing to a tourist that started laughing as he looked at a Stan- bobblehead. "So quit being so paranoid! You go with him Willow." Stan said.

"No!" Willow complained.

"To bad you're doing it one way or another because I said so." Stan said, yelling at Willow.

"Fine." Willow said as she and I started going towards the door. We had put up a few signs each when I brought up the weird woods again.

"Nobody believes anything I say." I complained, getting another nail out of my pocket.

"Because nothing you ever say is true." Willow said as she put up a sign. I was going to say something like 'At least I don't give little kids nightmares' but when I started to hammer the nail to another tree there was a sound like metal.

"Willow, come check this out!" I yelled, putting down the signs and hammer. As I wiped away dust and I saw a metal door thing.

Willow came over and opened the tree door. There was a control panel behind it. She started pressing random buttons. I heard something that sounded like a squeaking door and turned around to see that a hole had opened up in the ground behind me. I got on my knees and looked inside to see a red book with a gold 6-fingered hand and a number 3 on it. "What the…" I said, taking it from the hole and looking at the pages.

"Maybe it's a book of supernatural creatures that have all their skills and weaknesses. It has all the creepy things that anyone could ever think of and can tell us everything about them. If that were true that would be the best book for me to read." Willow said walking over from the tree. As I flipped through the pages I realized something.

I turned to Willow and said, "Actually that's exactly what it is."

"Give me that." Willow said, bending down next to me and taking the book from my hands. She started to read from one of the pages. "'It's hard to believe it's been six years since I began studying the strange and wondrous secrets of Gravity Falls, Oregon.'" I stood up as she started flipping through the pages again with me looking over her shoulder. She stopped on a page that had _TRUST NO ONE_ written in big letters. She started reading from that page. "'Unfortunately, my suspicions have been confirmed. I'm being watched. I must hide my Journal before _he_ finds it. Remember: in Gravity Falls there is no one you can trust.'" She closed the journal and looked up at me, confusion evident in her face.

"What the hell is that thing? Who wrote it? Who is _he?_ " I asked, taking the journal from her hands.

"I… don't… know…" Willow said very slowly, standing up. For once Willow was actually the one scared and not the one scaring other people. I started flipping through the pages, this time with Willow looking over my shoulder, but then…

"HALLO!" Mabel jumped out from behind a bush and Willow and I both jumped. I dropped the journal. Noticing it for the first time, Mabel pointed at it and asked, "What's that, some nerd thing?"

"It's nothing." Willow said picking up the journal and hiding it behind her back.

"Nothing. Right. Are you two actually gonna try to hide something from me?" Mabel complained.

"Let's go somewhere more private." I said, looking at Gompers as he walked by. Willow walked back to the tree and started pushing buttons until the hiding place in the ground closed again, then closed the door in the tree. We walked back to the shack and the three of us ran up to the attic. I sat on the floor in front of my bed, with Willow and Mabel sitting on it behind me. We started to look through the journal more closely and I realized Gravity Falls was weirder than I thought. The journal was full of every supernatural creature we had ever heard of, and some we hadn't. Everything from Zombies to Gnomes was in there, including something that looked like a blueprint.

"This is incredible, it has so much creepy stuff in it." Willow said excitedly.

"It's amazing! Grunkle Stan said I was being paranoid, but according to this, Gravity Falls has a dark side." I said almost as creepily as Willow was.

Willow reached down and took the journal from me then started flipping through the pages again. She stopped on one page, lifted one eyebrow and turned the journal around to show me. "This is weird. The writing just stops like whoever was writing it disappeared."

I took it from her to see for myself and realized she was right. I was about to say something but then the doorbell rang. "Who is that?" I asked.

"I forgot to tell you, I got a date." Mabel said then started giggling excitedly.

"So in the half hour that we were gone, you found a boyfriend?" Willow asked, looking at Mabel like she had lost her mind. "Are you sure it's a good idea to go out with a guy you literally just met?"

"I definitely think it's a good idea." Mabel answered, matter of factly. Then louder she yelled, "Coming," and ran down the stairs with Willow and I following her.

The two of us sat down on the couch and started looking through the journal again. Stan walked in and said, "What are you two reading there?" I hid the journal under a pillow that was on the couch, and then grabbed a magazine off the side table. Normally I wouldn't hide anything from anybody, but there was something about that journal that made me think that it should be a secret for as long as possible.

"I was just catching up on _Gold Chains for Old Men Magazine_?" I said as I looked at the title of the magazine.

"That's a good issue." Stan said.

"Great job genius." Willow whispered so Stan wouldn't hear.

Mabel walked in the room and said happily, "Say hello to my new boyfriend!" The guy was taller than her, really pale skin, and had on a jacket with the hood pulled up, putting half of his face in a shadow.

"Sup," he said, waving at us. Willow and I said hi at the same time. "How's it hanging?" Mabel's boyfriend asked.

"We met at the cemetery. He's really deep." Mabel said. She looked like she was about to explode because she was so happy.

"What's your name?" Willow asked Mabel's new boyfriend.

"Uh. Normal… MAN!" He said, kind of unsure about what the right answer was.

"He means, Norman." Mabel said for him. I could tell he was lying, and I was pretty sure that Willow could to.

I saw red marks on his face and asked "Are you bleeding Norman?"

"It's jam." He answered hesitantly.

"I love jam." Mabel said.

"So, you want to go hold hands?" Norman asked as he turned to Mabel.

"Yea, let's go."

 _There was something about Norman that wasn't right. I decided to look in the journal._

I caught Willow's eye, shifted mine to the pillow that was hiding the journal then up towards the attic. Realizing what I meant, Willow nodded slightly, then I said, "Willow and I need to go up to the attic." I reached under the pillow and hid the journal in my vest, then we ran up to the attic.

"Something's seriously off with Norman." I said, opening the door and walking into the room.

"No shit, Sherlock," Willow replied, following me in.

"We need to figure out what's up with him." I said, taking the journal from my vest. We sat in front of the window and started flipping through pages, looking at them for about half a second each. Then I saw something that caught my eye but Willow flipped too fast for me to get a good look at it.

"Wait go back." I said. She flipped back a page or two and I saw a picture that looked like Norman. I took the journal from her and started to read from the page aloud. "'Known for their pale skin and bad attitudes these creatures are often mistaken for… teenagers? Beware of Gravity Falls' nefarious **ZOMBIES.'"** I might have said zombies a little too loud but I didn't think anything of it.

We heard something like a grunting animal and looked out the window to see Mabel sitting on a picnic table with Norman standing up next to her. "I like you." Mabel said.

"NO." Willow said, putting her hands on the window. Just then Norman put his hands around Mabel's neck. We both gasped. Then he took his hands away and we saw the necklace that Norman gave to Mabel.

"Is Mabel really dating a Zombie, or are we just nuts?" I asked Willow, standing up, putting the journal on the seat next to her, and walking away from the window. Chewing on pens and pacing usually helped me think. In this case, I chose the latter.

"I'm nuts, your smart so she must actually be dating a Zombie." Willow replied, picking up the journal and looking at the page about the zombies again. Then Soos walked in.

"I couldn't help but overhear you think Mabel is actually dating a Zombie. I've seen some weird stuff in this town. Have you seen the Mailman; he has so much hair he has to be a werewolf! But then again what do I know. The only thing I know is that you got to have evidence or people will just think you're crazy."

"Your right Soos, we need evidence.". I said.

"But how are we going to get evidence without Mabel finding out that we are practically stalking her boyfriend?" Willow asked me.

"That's your own problem, dude."

"Soos! The portable toilets are clogged again!" Stan called from downstairs.

"See you dude." He said, leaving us to deal with our sister's zombie boyfriend.

 _Our sister was in trouble. It was time to get some evidence._

Willow and I followed Mabel and Norman to the park. We planned to record and take notes on everything they did. I had the camera and Willow was taking notes. Mabel threw a Frisbee at Norman. He didn't catch it and then he fell over. Me and Willow looked at each other, but neither of us said a word. They left and we followed them to a diner. Norman punched the window which broke then he reached through the broken window. He grabbed the door handle from the inside and let Mabel into the Diner. They ate and left the diner. Then we followed them to the graveyard. Norman fell into an open grave then he crawled out and started to scream, playfully. Norman and Mabel started laughing.

 _We'd seen enough._

We went up to the attic to wait for Mabel to get back. We had to wait for about an hour. We had watched the videos that I took 3 times each, and had reread Willow's notes too many times to count. I was lying on my bed, looking through the journal again, when Willow, who was pacing in front of the door, said, "Where the hell is she? She is taking forever to get back." Just as she was saying that Mabel walked through the door.

"We need to talk about Norman." I told Mabel, standing up with the journal in my hand.

"Isn't he the best? Look at the smooch mark that he gave me." Mabel said as she turned her face so that Willow and I could see her cheek. There was a big red spot on her cheek. Willow and I both jumped at the same time, me dropping the journal on the floor.

"You two are so gullible. It was just and accident I had with the leaf blower. I may or may not have put a picture of Norman on the tube of the leaf blower and then started pretending to kiss him. But then it sucked in the picture and I got caught in it." Mabel said in fun tone.

"We're trying to tell you that Norman is not what he seems. We were looking through the journal and we think he might be a supernatural being." Willow explained to Mabel.

"So your saying he might be a Vampire. If he were that would be so awesome." Mabel said excitedly.

"No." I said, picking up the journal and flipping through the pages until I found the one that I was looking for. "Norman is a Zombie." I held up the journal page so she could see it.

"That's a gnome." Mabel said confused.

"Sorry." I said as I looked through the journal again and found the right page, and held it up for her to see. "Here, look, Zombie."

"A Zombie, really. That's not funny." Mabel said, rolling her eyes.

"It's not a joke." Willow said, patience wearing thin. "Haven't you noticed the bleeding, the limp, and that he never blinks?"

"I've seen him blink before." Mabel said.

"Still, remember what the journal said about Gravity Falls? Trust no one." I explained to Mabel, trying to stay calm and keep my voice level.

"Oh so that means I can't trust you and I shouldn't be listening to either of you." Mabel said, getting a little pissed herself.

"Remember what I said earlier about one of the guys you asked out was gonna say yes. And then they will end up being some type of monster. Well Norman's the monster and he is going to eat your brain." Willow tried to tell Mabel.

"Oh I get it. Willow's just trying to creep me out and you're going along Dipper. Well Norman and I are going on a date at 5:00, and it's gonna be the best date ever. And I am not gonna let you two trying to creep me out ruin our date." Mabel yelled as she turned around and walked out the door, slamming it behind her.

"So, that went well," I said, grabbing the camera and plugging it into my laptop to add our videos to it.

"We tried to tell her. When Norman eats her brain, she can't say we didn't warn her." Willow replied, grabbing her notebook again.

"Maybe Mabel is right."

"What do you mean?" Willow asked, looking up from her notebook.

"I mean, with the new place and finding the journal and us being us, it IS possible that we're just being paranoid." I said, unplugging the camera.

"It is possible, but still. There is definitely something off with Norman."

"As much as I agree with you, I'm starting to think we are being paranoid." Just then, the doorbell rang. "It's five o'clock already?" I asked.

"Apparently." Willow said, leaving. I grabbed my laptop, then we both went downstairs. Mabel and Norman were already gone by the time we got down there. We sat on the couch and watched the videos again. We were about half way through when Willow stole the laptop from me, a look of shock on her face. She turned my laptop around so I could see the screen, said, "Still think we're being paranoid?" then pushed play.

The video was of Mabel and Norman looking at the mountains. Norman's arm was around Mabel when one of his hands fell off. He glanced around, picked it up and put it back where it was supposed to be, then put his arm around Mabel again. I looked up at Willow and asked, "What do we do?" then took my laptop back.

"Let's go tell Grunkle Stan." She said, standing up. I closed my laptop and we ran and outside. We saw Stan showing some tourists a rock that looked like a face. We started yelling his name, but he didn't respond, continuing with the tour. "Let's go ask if we can use that," Willow said, pointing to Wendy who had just come up with a golf cart.

We ran over to Wendy and I said, "Wendy! We need to borrow the golf cart to save Mabel from a zombie." Wendy shrugged and handed me the keys. As she walked away she said, "Try not to hit any pedestrians."

We got in, me driving and Willow in shotgun. I started to back up but Soos walked up beside me. "Dudes, it's me: Soos. These are for the zombies." He said as he handed us a shovel and a crossbow. I put the shovel on the floor and handed Willow the crossbow. "And this is in case you see a piñata," he added, handing me a bat.

"Thanks." I said and started driving again. Willow put the crossbow in the back because there wasn't enough room to fit it, much less use it. "Do we even know where they are? Did Mabel say where they were going?" I asked, because I honestly had no idea.

"No clue," Willow replied. "Hopefully we can find her before it's too late."

 **Mabel's POV**

Norman and I were on our date in the woods. It was going really well, but then Norman started acting weird. I was going to ask what was wrong, but he started talking. "Uh, Mabel, now that we've gotten to know each other, there's, uh, there's something I should tell you." He was turned away from me and I couldn't see his face, but I could tell he had to get something off his chest.

"Don't worry Norman, you can tell me anything!" I said, but inside I was thinking _Please be a vampire, please be a vampire!_

"All right, just…just don't freak out, okay? Just keep an open mind!" He said, turning around. He unzipped his jacket and underneath was… five gnomes? Wow, not what I expected. I felt my jaw drop, but 'Norman' was talking again. "Is this weird? Is this too weird? Do you need to sit down?" I got enough sense to realize the top gnome was talking, but I still couldn't say anything. "Right, so I'll explain. First off, we're gnomes. Get that out of the way. I'm Jeff, and here we have Carson, Steve, Jason, and… and I'm sorry, I always forget your name." Jeff, the top gnome, stopped talking. The bottom gnome where Norman's left leg should have been responded.

"Shmebulock."

"Shembulock! Yes! Anyways, long story short, us gnomes have been looking for a new queen! So what do you say?" Jeff tapped one of the gnomes with his foot, and all of them kneeled like they were going to propose. Which they did. "Mabel Pines, will you join us in holy matrignomey? Matri…matri-mo-ny! Sorry, can't talk today!"

"Look guys, I'm sorry." I really was; they were really cool as Norman, but it was still really weird. "You are really sweet, really, but I'm a twelve-year-old girl, and you're a bunch of gnomes, and it's like 'what'? I'm really sorry, but yikes..." I trailed off, but I thought they got my point.

"We understand. We'll never forget you, Mabel." The gnomes looked really upset, but that was understandable. I smiled, relived they understood. But Jeff was still talking. "Because we're gonna kidnap you."

"Huh?" Jeff jumped at me, and everything went black.

 **Dipper's POV**

We had been driving around for a few minutes when to my left I heard, "Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!"

"That sounded like Mabel. Go faster!" Willow yelled as I turned to the left.

We drove through the woods and crashed through some bushes. Eventually I could see Mabel. "Don't worry Mabel, we'll save you from the zombie!" I yelled to her, slamming the brakes, sending the golf cart into a slight spin, stopping a few feet away from Mabel.

"Help." She called back to me.

We both climbed out and looked Mabel and her kidnappers. Instead of seeing Norman, there was a couple hundred gnomes standing around. "What the hell is going on?" Willow asked, looking as confused as I was.

"Norman turned out to be a bunch of gnomes. And they're total jerks." Mabel yelled.

"We were way off." Willow said as she took the journal from me and started to turn through the pages. She stopped and started reading. "'Gnomes: little men of the Gravity Falls Forest. Weakness: unknown.' Well that's helpful," she said. We looked up from the journal and saw that the gnomes managed to tie Mabel to the ground.

"Let go of our sister." I said.

"You know this is all really just a big misunderstanding. You see, your sister's not in danger. She's just marrying all one thousands of us and becoming our queen for all eternity. Isn't that right." One of the gnomes said as he turned to Mabel.

"You guys are jerks!" Mabel said as one of the gnomes covered her mouth. She started struggling.

I grabbed the shovel from the back and held it up. "Give her back or else." I said as Willow grabbed the crossbow.

"You think you can stop us? You don't know what were capable of. Gnomes are a powerful race." He said as Willow aimed a bolt at him. I threw the shovel then got in the golf cart and drove over to where Mabel was. Willow cut the rope with one of the bolts, then grabbed the shovel. Mabel got up and got in the shotgun seat as Willow climbed in the back to use the crossbow better. As soon as they were in, I started driving.

"They're getting away with our queen. You've messed with the wrong creatures. Gnomes of the forest assemble." The gnome who seemed to be the leader yelled.

"Hurry." Mabel yelled.

"Don't worry. See their little legs? Those suckers are tiny." I said.

"Uh, Dipper." Willow said, slightly panicked. I looked back and saw that the gnomes had assembled into one giant gnome. Willow started to shoot at them again.

"Come back with our queen." The leader said.

"It's getting closer." Mabel yelled.

"Hurry! I'm running out of bolts." Willow yelled, shooting another one.

In the mirror I saw a few gnomes jump at the cart. One missed and fell off the side. Another one landed on the roof then came down and started attacking me. Mabel punched it and it fell off. Willow said, "This is my last bolt," just as the shack came into view. Just then the gnomes ripped a tree out of the ground behind us and threw it in our path. "Look out!" Willow yelled, shooting her final bolt. I slammed the brakes as Mabel reached over and spun wheel. We all screamed as the cart flipped over and landed on its side.

"You two okay?" I asked as we crawled out. Then I noticed the gnomes again. "Stay back!" I yelled at it, throwing the shovel again. The giant punched it in midair.

"It's the end of the line kids. Mabel, marry us before we do something crazy," the leader said from the top of the giant.

"Fine Jeff, I'll marry you." Mabel said.

"What?" Willow said as we looked at Mabel like she was crazy.

"Just trust me." Mabel said as the leader, Jeff, started climbing down. When he got down he reached for Mabel's hand and put the ring on it.

"You may now kiss the bride." Mabel said. The leader leaned in to kiss her. Then Mabel pulled the leaf blower out from behind her, sucking him into it. "That's for lying to me." She said, then increased the sucking power. "That's for breaking my heart. And this is for messing with my brother and sister." She said as she aimed at the gnome monster and put it in blow. The gnome giant collapsed as she shot the leader out of the leaf-blower.

"Anyone else want some?" Mabel said as she started swinging the leaf-blower. The gnomes started to scatter back into the forest.

"Sorry I didn't believe you guys about Norman." Mabel said, putting the leaf blower down.

"I can kind of see why you didn't believe us." Willow said.

"And don't worry about it. You totally saved our butts back there," I added.

"I'm just upset my first boyfriend turned out to be a bunch of evil gnomes," Mabel said, a little depressed.

"If your next boyfriend is anything like this one, maybe he WILL be a vampire!" Willow said, both being creepy and trying to cheer Mabel up.

"Awkward sibling hug?" I said, holding my arms out.

Willow and Mabel looked at each other, nodded, and said, "Awkward sibling hug," at the same time. We hugged each other and patted each other on the back twice, saying, "Pat, pat," out loud.

Stan came outside and said, "Did you kids get hit by a bus or something?" We started to walk back inside. "Look kids. I over stocked some inventory, so each of you can pick out one thing from the gift shop."

I started to look at the hats, mostly because I lost mine in the golf cart chase. Willow looked at the jewelry and I didn't see where Mabel went. I saw a blue pine tree hat. I put it on and looked in the mirror. "That should do it." I said. I looked over at Willow, who was holding a silver oak leaf necklace. She put it on, looked in the mirror and smiled.

"And I will have a Grappling Hook," Mabel said from behind me.

"Wouldn't you rather have a doll or something?" Stan asked.

She shook her head and shot it up to the ceiling. A few hours later we were in the attic, about to go to sleep. I added the gnomes' weakness to the gnome page, then started to write on one of the blank pages. _This journal told me there was no one in Gravity Falls I could trust. But when you battle a hundred gnomes side-by-side with two people, you realize that you can trust them no matter what._

"Can you get the light?" I asked and Willow reached for it.

"Wait." Mabel said as she grabbed her grappling hook and shot it at the lamp, which then shattered.

 _Our uncle told us there was nothing strange about this town. But who knows what other secrets are waiting to be unlocked._

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 **Thanks for reading! Please leave a review. Be honest and please remember, there is a HUGE difference between critiquing and flaming. Also check out my profile which has over 33,000 words. Thanks again.**


	2. The Legend of the Gobblewonker

**In case you were wondering what Willow looks like the girl in the picture is Willow and the boy is her boyfriend who will be introduced later. Thank you to everyone who read or reviewed the last chapter. Here's the next one. Please leave a review and thank you for your support. Be sure to check out my profile if you haven't yet.**

 **Disclaimer- I do not own anything except my OC Willow, and ecodisamatic disorder. Please note that ecodisamatic disorder is not a real disease, but feel free to use it as a fake syndrome to get out of school.**

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 **Willow's POV (June 16** **th** **)**

"Are you two ready for the ultimate challenge?" I asked my two siblings, Dipper and Mabel. It was the day after the gnome fiasco. I was starting to enjoy the place. There was so many creepy things about the town, and the best part was we had a journal with a lot of info on each of them. I still missed my boyfriend, Alex, but things were started to look up. Right now we were sitting at the table eating breakfast and having a lot of fun.

"I'm always ready!" my brother Dipper said excitedly.

"Then you know what that means!" That was Mabel, who was practically jumping out of her chair.

"SYRUP RACE!" We all shouted at the same time. We each grabbed a bottle of maple syrup from the table then tilted our heads back with the bottles open above our mouths. "Go, go, go!" We all said, trying to make the syrup run faster. Let's just say, syrup moves REALLY slowly.

"Almost… almost," Mabel said, looking cross-eyed at her bottle. She reached her hand up and tapped the bottom, then a drop of syrup fell into her mouth. "Yes! I…I wo…won!" Mabel said, coughing from the syrup.

"What, no fair! You cheated!" I complained, putting my syrup down.

"Whoa, no way!" Dipper said, looking at the newspaper. "Guys, look at this!" He said, showing us the ads page.

"Human-sized hamster balls? I'm human-sized!" Mabel said, looking at the wrong ad.

"No hamster-brain. He's talking about the monster photo contest." I said, pointing at the ad next to the hamster balls.

"Willow's right," Dipper said, taking the paper back. "We've seen weirder stuff than that every day. We could win this easy. Did we get any pictures of the gnomes?"

"Not unless you count when they were dressed as Norman," I replied.

"No pictures, just memories. And this beard hair," Mabel said, holding up some beard hair.

"Why did you save that?" Dipper asked.

"I know why. She kept the hair because she likes the color of it. It's the color of blood and she licks it. Ever wonder why she wants to date a vampire? Because she is one, and she loves blood. But she doesn't know that the blood will give her ecodisamatic disorder. It's a disease that makes you puke blood and eventually you will get addicted to blood and you'll puke blood every single day." After I stopped talking, Mabel threw the beard hair on the floor. Then Stan came in the room.

"Good morning, knuckleheads. You three know what day it is?" He asked, picking up the newspaper.

"Um… Happy anniversary?" Dipper guessed.

"Mazel tov!" Mabel said.

"Happy Death Day! Your gonna die today. Good for you." I said.

"What's wrong with you?" Stan asked.

"There's not enough time to answer that."

"It's Family Fun Day, hamster-brains! We're cutting off work and having one of those, you know, bonding-type deals," he said, sniffing the milk.

"Grunkle Stan, is this gonna be like our last family bonding day?" Dipper asked. Last time, Stan had us help him make counterfeit money, but the police busted us.

"The jail was so cold," Mabel said, shaking.

"Okay, I haven't been the best summer caretaker. But I swear, today we're gonna have some real family fun. Now who wants to put on blindfolds and get into my car?"

We all said yay at the same time, but then Dipper said, "Wait, what?"

 **GFF**

Blindfolds never lead to anything good. Apparently Stan has really bad cataracts. On the way, we probably hit like ten other cars, got into a spinout twice, and crashed through one guardrail. Somehow we didn't crash completely and eventually we got to where ever we were going all in one piece. "Okay, open them up!" Stan said after we got out of the car. We took of our blindfolds to see that we were at the Gravity Falls Lake. "Ta-da! It's fishing season!"

"What are you playing at, old man?" Dipper said, looking confused.

"Come on, you're gonna love it! The whole town's out here!" That part was accurate. There was a woman waving a pan above the water trying to get the fish to jump in. There was a reporter taking pictures of a man with a huge fish, but the flash made him fall into the water. A family of all guys was putting worms on the hooks. One of the kids asked his dad something, but the dad freaked out and broke the pole. Then he reached in the water and pulled a fish out, then started punching it with the kids chanting, "Dad! Dad! Dad!"

"That's some quality family bonding," Stan said.

"Grunkle Stan, why do you want to bond with us all of a sudden?" I asked. I had nothing against fishing, but why he would take us all fishing was beyond me.

"Come on, this is gonna be great! I've never had fishing buddies before. The guys from the lodge won't go with me: they don't 'like' or 'trust' me." He said, reaching into the fishing supplies.

"I can't imagine why," Dipper said sarcastically. I felt myself be pulled backward and then Dipper, Mabel and I were in a small huddle.

"I think he actually wants to fish with us," Mabel said. I was about to say something but Stan started talking again and we had to break our huddle.

"I know what will cheer you sad sacks up," Stan put fishing hats with our names on them on each of our heads. "Pines family fishing hats. That's hand stitching you know." The "L" on Mabel's hat came off. "It's just going to be you three, me, and those goofy hats on a boat for ten hours."

"Wait… ten hours?" I asked. I knew fishing took a while, but that was overkill.

"Don't worry, I brought the joke book!" Stan said, holding up _1001 Yuk 'Em Ups._

"Uh-oh. We have a problem." Dipper said, scared.

"There has to be a way out of this," Mabel said. All of a sudden, someone on the dock started yelling and everyone, including us, turned that way.

"I SEEN IT! I SEEN IT AGAIN!" An old man with a really long beard and a scarecrow hat ran from the dock, knocking a lot of people and fishing gear into the water. He came close to us, still yelling, "The Gravity Falls Gobblewonker! Come quick before it scrabdoodles away!" Then he started dancing.

"Aww… He's doing a happy jig!" Mabel said, pointing to him. Then the guy grabbed Mabel by the shoulders and started shaking her.

"NOOO! It's a jig of grave danger!" Another man, probably the lake manager, came out and sprayed the old guy with a spray bottle.

"Hey, hey! Now what did I tell you about scaring my customers? This is your last warning, Dad!"

"But I got proof this time, by gummity!" The old man then ran back onto the dock, most of the people following him or standing by the edge of the lake. Two police officers were on a boat at the end of the dock. There was a boat that was cut in half in the water. The old man pointed at it and started talking again. "BEHOLD! It's the Gobble-dy-wonker what done it! It had a long neck like a gee-raffe! And wrinkly skin like… like this gentleman right here!" He pointed to Stan, who was cleaning out his ear. "It chawed my boat up to smitheroons, and shim-shammed over to Scuttlebutt Island! YOU GOTTA BELIEVE ME!"

One of the cops grabbed the police radio on the boat and started talking into it. "Attention all units! We got ourselves a crazy old man!" Most of the people on the dock started laughing and pointing at the old man, who was blushing like crazy.

"Aww, donkey spittle! Aw, banjo polish!" The old guy muttered, walking off the dock. Stan jumped into a rowboat called _STANOWAR_ and started untying it from the dock.

"What was that guy's problem?" Stan asked.

"His problem was he was an old man that has been possessed by a demon monster, that gets inside his head sometimes that makes him go on crazy outbursts. The demon slowly kills his brain cells so that eventually he will become a mindless zombie." I said.

"You're possessed by a demon and almost a zombie." Dipper said playfully as he pushed me.

"Well, that happened. Now let's grab our gear and get out on that lake!" Stan said, getting the boat untied. I started to walk off the dock, but Dipper pulled me back.

"Did you hear what that old dude said?"

Mabel started doing an impression of the old guy. "Aww, donkey spittle!"

"You're talking about the monster, right?" I said, ignoring Mabel.

"Yes. If we can get a photo of it, we can split the prize three ways."

Mabel gasped and said, "That's three ways!"

"Imagine what you could do with that much money!" Dipper said excitedly. Mabel zoned out for a minute, but I answered right away.

"I'm in. I'd rather do that then fishing with Stan."

"Good. Mabel, what about…" Dipper trailed off, realizing Mabel was still daydreaming. He started saying her name and snapping his fingers. "Mabel, Mabel! Mabel?" She snapped out of her dream, then grabbed Dipper.

"I am one million percent on board with this!"

"Great! Grunkle Stan, change of plans! We're taking that boat to Scuttlebutt Island and we're gonna find that Gobblewonker!" We all started chanting 'Monster Hunt', but there was a really loud honk sound. Soos pulled up in a boat that was A LOT better than Stan's.

"Wassup, hambone!" Soos and Mabel fist bumped, then Soos started talking again. "Dudes, you could totally use my boat for your hunt. It's got a steering wheel, chairs, normal boat stuff."

"All right, all right, let's think this through." Stan said from his boat. "You kids could go on some epic monster-finding adventure, or you could spend the day learning how to tie knots and skewer worms with your Great Uncle Stan!" We looked at Soos, then at Stan, then at Scuttlebutt Island. We grinned at each other, then jumped in the boat with Soos.

Dipper stood at the bow (front) of the boat, one of his feet on the railing. He turned around and said, "Hoist the anchor!" which Soos did, then went back to the wheel. "Raise the flag!"

Mabel started waving a beach towel around. "We're gonna find that Gobblewonker!"

"We're gonna win that photo contest!" I said excitedly. But Soos called up to us.

"Do any of you dudes have sunscreen?"

"We're gonna go get sunscreen!" Dipper said. Soos spun the wheel and the boat did a U-turn, heading back to the mainland.

 **GFF**

A half hour later we were back on the water. We had got sunscreen, food, water, fish food, a few fishing nets, and I think Dipper had bought like, twenty cameras. Dipper was pacing in front of us; we always let him take the lead when we did stuff like this. "Alright, if we want to win this contest, we've got to do it right! Think. What's the number one problem with most monster hunts?"

"You're a side character and you die in the first five minutes?" Soos guessed. Then a scared look came over his face. "Dude, am I a side character?! Do you ever think about stuff like that?

"No, no, no." Dipper interrupted. "Camera trouble! Say Bigfoot shows up. Soos, be bigfoot?" Soos did a weird bigfoot-like pose. Dipper started talking in a fake-demo voice. "There he is! Bigfoot! Uh-oh, no camera! Oh wait, here's one! Aw, no film. You guys see what I'm doing here?"

"Yeah, dude's got a point." Soos said, breaking his Bigfoot pose.

"That's why I bought 18 disposable cameras. Two on my ankle, three in my jacket, four for each of you, and one under my hat," he listed, showing us where they were and giving us each a bag with four cameras in it. "There is no way we're gonna miss this. Okay, I want us to test out our cameras."

I put my bag on the ground, then tried the cameras one by one. The first three worked, but the flash on the last one was dead, so I threw it overboard. As for the others; Soos took a picture of himself, but the flash made him throw it overboard, Mabel threw one at a seagull, then Soos threw two more overboard, and Dipper, who was pissed, crushed one when he tried to slam his fist on the table. We went from 18 cameras to twelve in about ten seconds.

"So what's the plan? Throw more cameras overboard or what?" Mabel asked, holding some over the water.

"NO!" Dipper yelled. "No, okay. Mabel, Willow, you be lookouts, Soos can work the steering wheel, and I'll be captain."

"What? Why do you get to be captain? Why can't all three of us be co-captain?"

"There's no such thing as co-captain." Dipper said. Mabel threw another camera overboard. "Okay, fine! You two can be co-captains."

"Can I be associate co-captain?" Soos asked.

"As co-captain, I authorize that request," Mabel replied.

"Well, as first co-captain, our number one order of business is to lure the monster out with this." Dipper said, pointing at a giant barrel of fish food.

"Permission to taste some?" Soos asked.

"Granted," I said. He grabbed some, licked it, then started gagging.

"Oh man, I don't know what I expected that to taste like!" We all started cracking up, but Dipper brought us back under control.

"He's probably gonna get sick and have a heart attack because of that rotten fish food." I said under my breath.

"Okay, as funny as that was, we have to focus on the mission. Soos, let's get going. We're gonna find that monster!" Dipper said.

 **GFF**

We were getting closer to Scuttlebutt Island. I was in the back of the boat scooping fish food into the water. Soos was steering, and Dipper and Mabel were in the front trying to see through the fog that was everywhere. I stopped putting food in the water and went back up front. Dipper was looking around, and Mabel was messing with a pelican.

"Hey, how's it going?" she said in her normal voice. Then she started talking as the pelican. "It's going awesome! Bow bow, buh bow bow!"

"Mabel, leave that thing alone." Dipper said.

"Aw, I don't mind none! Hey look, I'm drinking water! Twinkle, twinkle little…" she tried to drink and talk at the same time, but started coughing.

"Aren't you supposed to be doing lookout?" I asked.

"Look out!" she said, throwing a volleyball at Dipper. "Ha! But seriously, I'm on it." The boat stopped suddenly, making all of us lose our balance. We looked over the edge and saw that we had made it to the island. "See, we made it! I'm a lookout genius!"

Mabel jumped off, then I followed her. Dipper jumped down with a lantern, and Soos came last. We walked into the woods, Dipper in the lead. Mabel and Soos saw a sign with Scuttlebutt Island written on it. Soos covered up the 'scuttle' part and said, "Dude, check it out. Butt Island."

I laughed a little bit, but Mabel was focused on Dipper. "Hey, Dipper. Why aren't you laughing? Are you scared?" Mabel asked him.

"Yeah right! I'm not—" we started poking and teasing him, causing him to drop the lantern. We stopped when we heard a really loud, really weird sound come from farther in the island. We all looked at each other, really confused, but then Soos came up to us.

"Dudes, did you hear that?" he asked, just as confused as we were.

"The whole island heard it. But what the hell was it? Was it your stomach?" Mabel asked him.

"No, my stomach usually sounds like whales."

"I think I know what it was," I said. "It was a monster that had 3,000,000 eyes. Since it has so many eyes it loses them all the time. That's the sound it makes when it loses an eye. But if you find one of its eyes and touch it the germs on it will slowly kill you. Or quickly kills you. I can't remember. I found that online." Dipper smacked the back of my head.

"There is no way that was… Hey, come back here with that!" He trailed off, watching a possum run away with our lantern. "Come on, our lantern! I can't see anything now!"

"Like you were able to see much with it." I said, looking around. The fog seemed to have gotten thicker, but even with the lantern, we wouldn't have been able to see much else anyway.

"Dudes, I don't know about this. Maybe, uh… Maybe this isn't worth it." Soos said from behind us.

"Not worth it?" Dipper said, turning around. "Guys, imagine what would happen if we got that picture!" We all started dreaming about what would happen. Eventually we snapped out of it enough to look at each other.

"Dipper, I am one billion percent in on this!" Mabel said.

"Me too!" I added.

"Let's go find that Gobblewonker!" Dipper said, running off. Mabel and I followed him, and Soos eventually caught up to us. We ran for a few minutes, but the farther we went, the thicker the fog got, so we had to slow down. I don't know when, but at some point Soos had started beatboxing and Mabel was making up a rap.

"My name is Mabel! It rhymes with table! It also rhymes with… glabel! It also rhymes with… shmabel!" She sang. She CANNOT rap!

"Dude, we should be writing this down." Soos said. I was about to tell them to knock it off, but the sound from earlier came back, and we all stopped moving.

"Guys, this is it! This is it!" Dipper said excitedly. We started walking again, Soos in the lead because he had found a stick and was using it as a weapon. We stopped when we saw a monster shadow in a lake. We all hid behind a log, looking over the top. "Everyone, get your cameras ready!" Dipper said. We all got our cameras out, then looked at each other and nodded.

"Ready, set, GO, GO, GO, GO, GO!" Dipper yelled. Soos jumped out first, taking random photos, with us following him. As we got closer, we realized that the 'monster' was just a wrecked boat that was now a home to a colony of beavers. "But…but what was that noise? I heard a monster noise! We all did!" The 'monster noise' came again from our left. It turns out it was a beaver chewing on and activating an old chainsaw.

"Sweet, beaver with a chainsaw." Soos said, getting a picture of it.

"Maybe that old guy was crazy after all," I said, looking at Dipper who was the most upset.

"He did use the word scrabdoodle," Mabel added. Dipper just sighed and got on a rock that was coming out of the water. Soos had started taking pictures of a beaver on a stump, doing a photo-shoot like thing, when Dipper, who was still on the rock, started talking again.

"What're we gonna tell Grunkle Stan? We ditched him over nothing." He said, throwing a stone into the water. Then he sat up straighter and turned to face us. "Do you guys feel tha- hey, what the? What the heck?" The rock that he was sitting on had sunk into the water. He swam over to the bank and we helped him get up. We looked back at the lake and saw a shadow swimming around under the water.

"This is it!" Dipper exclaimed, taking pictures. "Come on, this is our chance! What's wrong with you guys?" We had started to back up, but Dipper didn't know why because he was facing the wrong way.

"Dipper…?" Mabel and I said.

"Dude…?" Soos said, pushing us behind him.

"It's not that hard, okay? All you got to do it point and shoot, like this!" He said, putting the camera up to his eye and turning around. The Gobblewonker was right behind him. I saw him move the camera up the creature's neck, then drop the camera. The creature roared, and all of us ran away.

"Run!" Soos yelled.

"Thank for the advice, Captain Obvious!" I yelled up to him. I heard a ripping sound behind me and saw the Gobblewonker had ripped a tree out of the ground. Dipper jumped at Mabel and I and all three of us rolled on the ground. We jumped back up and caught up to Soos.

"Get back to the boat!" Soos yelled. The Gobblewonker snapped at us, and Mabel and I jumped on Soos' back. Dipper grabbed another camera and tried to get a photo, but he tripped and dropped it. He tried to run after the camera, but Soos grabbed him but the back of his collar. "Dude, if it makes you feel better, I got tons of pictures of those beavers!"

"WHY WOULD THAT MAKE ME FEEL BETTER?!" Dipper yelled. Soos put him down, and Mabel and I got off of him. We ran for a few minutes, and eventually the boat came into sight. Soos boosted us up, then pushed the boat in the water and started driving away from the island. "All right, this is it!" Dipper said, trying to take a picture. Then he pulled the camera back and threw it overboard. "Damn it, cracked lens! Guys, get a picture!"

I looked around for my camera bag, but didn't see it. I saw Soos with his arms full of cameras, throwing them at the monster. "WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!" Dipper yelled at him.

"Don't worry dude! I still got one left!" Soos yelled back, holding up his last camera. He threw it at Dipper, but it hit the side of the control cabin and cracked apart.

"Go, go, go, go, go!" I yelled at Soos, who was back on the wheel. We drove away from the monster, and splashed Stan as we went by. "Soos, BEAVERS!" I yelled. Somehow we got back to the island and we could see the beaver dam again. Soos tried to turn away from them, but it didn't work and we crashed into the dam, beavers flying up and landing on the boat.

One landed on each of us and started attacking. Mabel and I got ours off, but the one on Soos made him have to leave the wheel. Mabel grabbed it and started driving, and I ran around knocking beavers off the boat. Dipper threw one of the beavers at the Gobblewonker, like that would help anything. Mabel drove us through a crowd of people, messing up a lot of them.

"Look out!" Mabel yelled at two guys who were maneuvering a piece of glass above the water. We crashed through the glass, then started going towards the waterfall. "Where do I go?!" Mabel asked. Dipper grabbed the journal and started looking at the pages.

"GO INTO THE FALLS! I think there might be a cave behind there!" he yelled.

"MIGHT BE?!" Mabel said, slowing down. I pushed her out of the way and pushed the throttle up as far as it would go.

"You got a better idea? Everyone, HOLD ON!" I yelled, driving into the falls. We went under and I saw a small cave behind. I drove into it and pulled the throttle back, but the boat crashed and all of us landed on the sand. "You guys okay?" I asked, standing up. The others nodded and stood up, and we looked back at the cave entrance. The Gobblewonker came under the waterfall and made it about halfway through when it got stuck. It started thrashing and rocks came loose and fell into the water, but couldn't move.

"It's stuck!" Mabel said excitedly.

"Yeah! Wait… It's stuck? You guys have a camera?" Dipper asked, starting to check his pockets. I looked around and checked mine, but I didn't have any.

"We had 11 when we got to the island. There should be one… jackpot!" I said, lifting Dipper's hat. I was surprised it was still there, but none of us were complaining. Dipper grabbed the camera and started laughing and taking pictures.

"Did you get a good one?" Mabel asked.

"They're all good ones!" Dipper said, pulling us into a group hug. He turned around to get more pictures, but a rock fell on the Gobblewonker's head with an electric sound and sparks. Dipper put his hand on the Gobblewonker, jumped back, then hit its side. There was a metallic sound. Dipper started climbing the creature's back and disappeared over the other side. "Guys, come check this out!" He yelled. We jumped on the creature and started climbing. We saw Dipper and went over to him to see a hatch in the monster's back. Soos grabbed the handle and turned it, then opened the door. Inside was a lot of machinery and the crazy old man who first saw the Gobblewonker. The old guy was pushing buttons and turning dials at rapid speed.

"Work the bellows and the… Aww, banjo polish!" He said, noticing us and stopped messing with the machines.

"Wha- Yo- You?! You made this? W-w-why?" Dipper asked, sounding just as confused as I was.

"Well, I…I, uh…I just wanted attention." The old guy said, looking down in shame.

"I still don't understand," Mabel said, still sounding confused.

"Well, first I just hootennannied up a biomechanical brain wave generator, and then I learned to operate a stick-shift with my beard!" He said, wrapping his beard around the stick.

"Okay, yeah. But why did you do it?" I asked.

"Well, when you get to be an old fella like me, nobody pays any attention to you anymore. My own son hasn't visited me in months! So I figured maybe I'd catch his fancy with a fifteen-ton aquatic robot!" he said, laughing like a maniac. Then he sighed and talked again. "In retrospect, it seems a bit contrived. You youngsters just don't know the length us old-timers go through for a little quality time with our family."

Dipper, Mabel and I all looked at the fishing hats Stan gave us, looked at each other, and sighed. "Dudes, I guess the real lake monster it you three. Heh, heh!" Soos said. When he saw our expressions, he added, "Sorry, that just like—boom—just popped into my head there."

"So, did you ever talk to your son about how you felt?" Mabel asked.

"No, sir, I got to work straight on the robot! I made a lot of robots in my day!" He said, activating a slideshow of pictures. The first was a fire-breathing pterodactyl. "Like when my wife left me and I created a homicidal pterodactyl-tron," The next picture was just a man with a mustache. "Or when my pal Ernie didn't come to my retirement party," The last picture was of a giant robot firing a laser. "and I constructed an eighty-ton _SHAME BOT_ THAT EXPLODED THE ENTIRE DOWNTOWN AREA!" He said, laughing like a maniac again. "Well, time to get back to work on my death ray!" he said, going back into the Gobblewonker's body. There was a lot of construction noises from inside, then the old guys hand reached up. "Any of you kids got a screwdriver?" he asked.

"Well, so much for the photo contest," Dipper said, taking out the camera.

"We still have one roll of film left." Mabel said.

"What do you want to do with it?" He asked.

I took the camera from him, looked at it for a few seconds, then I smiled. I looked up at them and said, "I think I have an idea."

 **GFF**

Somehow, Soos' boat still worked, so we drove it over to Stan. "Hey, over here!" I yelled when we got closer. Dipper took a picture of him and smiled.

"What the…? Kids? I thought you were off playing spin the bottle with Soos." He said, not looking at us.

"We spent all day trying to find a 'legendary' dinosaur." I said, putting quotes around 'legendary'.

"But we realized, the only dinosaur we want to be with is right here." Mabel said, also smiling.

"Save your sympathy! I've been having a great time without you! Making friends, talking to my reflection, I had a run in with the lake police! I guess I got to wear this ankle bracelet now, so that should be fun." Stan said, showing us his ankle bracelet.

"So, there isn't room in that boat for four more?" Dipper asked. He glared at us, but when we put our fishing hats on, his expression softened.

"You knuckleheads ever see me thread a hook with my eyes closed?" he asked.

"Five bucks says you can't do it!" I said, getting in his boat.

"You're on!" He said. Dipper got in after me.

"Five more bucks says you can't do it with your eyes closed, plus me singing at the top of my lungs!" Mabel said, jumping in.

"I like those odds!" he said as Soos got in. "Whoa, Soos! What happened to your shirt?" he asked. Soos' shirt had fallen apart when we went through the waterfall.

"Long story, dude," Soos said.

"Okay, everyone get together and say fishing!" Dipper said. Stan stood behind Mabel and I, and Soos was to our left. We all said fishing, but Soos added, "Am I in the frame?" A few hours later, Dipper, Mabel and I were relaxing in the front of the boat when it shook a little more than normal.

"What was that?" I asked. Mabel just shrugged, and Dipper didn't move a bit. I wasn't that worried. I had learned that in Gravity Falls, some mysteries are better left unsolved.

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 **Thank you to everyone who reviewed, followed and faved my story. It has really inspired me to keep writing it. I hope to write at least one original chapter. I will have a lot of fun writing this story and I hope you will have fun reading it.**


	3. Headhunters

**Thank you to everyone who read the first two chapters. I am excited that people love my story. I love writing it. I will be doing every episode except for 6. I will write 1 chapter for the Dipper's Guide shorts. I hope to do 3 Q &A's, one in season 1, and 2 in season 2. I will do an original chapter of Willow and Alex's anniversary. Alex will be introduced in Double Dipper, and will appear in Time Travelers Pig for sure. I might add him in some more, but that's all I know for sure right now. Unless I say otherwise, you can expect an update every two weeks. I have pretty much everything you can think of planned. Anyway I hope you enjoy the chapter, please review.**

 **Disclaimer: I don't own anything except for my O.C Willow, and her creepy comments.**

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 **Mabel's POV (June 17** **th** **)**

I was knitting a new sweater, Dipper was eating popcorn, and Willow was looking at the journal. We were all watching a show called _Duck-tective._ It's about a duck that is a detective and a constable in England who solve crimes together. It was a pretty decent show, but you had to pay close attention because the duck only quacked and you had to read subtitles to know what he was saying. Right now there was a dead body crammed in a telephone booth.

"I'm afraid your services won't be required here sir," the constable said to Duck-tective. "My men have examined the evidence and this is obviously an accident."

Duck-tective started quacking, and the subtitles said, "An accident, constable? Or is it… Murder?!"

"What?!" The constable said, then they went to commercial.

"That duck is a genius!" I said, taking some of Dipper's popcorn.

"It's easier to find clues when you're that close to the ground," he said, slapping my hand.

"Also easier when you have powerful senses," Willow added, closing the journal. I looked at them skeptically.

"Are you saying you could outwit Duck-tective?" I asked. They were good, but still.

"Mabel, I have very keen powers of observation," Dipper said. "For example, just by smelling your breath, I can tell that you have been eating… toothpaste?"

"In my defense, it was so sparkly!" I replied, grabbing popcorn before he could stop me. Then Willow started being creepy again.

"If you keep on eating toothpaste it will rot through your body and you won't be able to stop puking. Then you can't eat because you puke so much and you will die and the gnomes will eat your body because everyone knows that they LOVE toothpaste." I rolled my eyes as she finished saying that. Then Soos ran in with a broom.

"Hey, dudes! You'll never guess what I found!" He said, taking popcorn. He loves food.

"Buried treasure!" The three of us guessed. Soos shook his head, then lead us into the hallway. We stopped in front of a door that was designed to look like the wallpaper. Soos put his hand on the doorknob, then turned around.

"So, I was cleaning up when I found this secret door hidden behind the wallpaper. It's crazy bonkers creepy!" he said, opening the door. Inside there was a bunch of wax sculptures.

"It's a secret wax museum!" Dipper said, waving a flashlight around. I went inside and touched one that looked like Sherlock Holmes.

"They're so life-like!" I said excitedly.

"Except for that one," Willow said, pointing at one that looked like Grunkle Stan. Then the statue moved, and all of us screamed, Dipper dropping the flashlight. Grunkle Stan went to the door and turned on the light, then came back over.

"Behold the Gravity Falls Wax Museum! It was one of our most popular attractions… before I forgot all about it. I got 'em all! Genghis Khan, Sherlock Holmes, some kind of, I don't know, goblin man?" He said, stopping at a sculpture of, I think Larry King.

"Is anyone else getting the creeps here?" Dipper asked as Grunkle Stan walked toward the back of the room.

"I am. The wax figures are probably weird and dangerous things that can form into different people and animals when they want to. That would mean that they can trick humans into thinking that there someone else and dominate all of existence." Willow said in a fake scared voice. I could tell that today was one of her days when she had to be creepy every single moment.

"And now… What the heck?!" Grunkle Stan said, standing next to a blob of melted wax. "Wax Abe Lincoln, OH COME ON! Who left the blinds open? Wax John Wilkes Booth, I'm looking in your direction! How do you fix a wax figure?" He said, trying to get the wax together. I went over to him and put my hand on his shoulder.

"Cheer up Grunkle Stan, and don't worry. I'll make you a new wax figure from all this old wax!" I said excitedly.

"You really think you can make one of these puppies?" He asked, standing up.

"Grunkle Stan, I'm an arts and crafts master. Why do you think I always have this glue gun stuck to my arm?" I said, showing him my sleeve.

"I like your gumption, kid! I think I have some leftover wax in the closet. You can use that. Good luck kiddo!" He said, opening the closet then leaving. Half an hour later, I had gotten the melted wax with the extra together and was ready to start carving my design. Dipper and Willow came in, so I ran over to them. I liked my design, but I wanted to get their opinions.

"Hey guys. What do you think of my wax figure idea?" I said, showing them my sketchbook. "It's part fairy princess, and part HORSE fairy princess!"

"Maybe you should carve something from real life," Willow said, staring at my design. I flipped to the next page to show them my back-up plan.

"You mean like a waffle with big arms!"

"Oookaaaaayy, or maybe something else. Like someone in your family," Dipper said. Just then Grunkle Stan walked in looking for his pants. He put one of his feet on a briefcase, and then I knew what I wanted to make. Three hours later, I was almost done. I stepped back to see what I had, but I felt like it was missing something.

"I think… it needs more glitter!" I said. Soos handed me a bucket of glitter and I threw it on the statue. Grunkle Stan walked in, looking for his shoes this time. When he saw the sculpture, he freaked out and fell on the floor. I went over and stood in front of him. "What do you think?"

"I think… the Wax Museum is BACK IN BUSINESS!"

 **GFF**

A few hours later a good portion of the town had come to the re-opening of the wax museum. There was a stage with a podium and most of the wax figures step up outside the shack, with a bunch of foldable chairs set up in front. I was on stage next to a sheet that covered the statue. Grunkle Stan walked up to the podium, tested the microphone, then started introducing the show.

"You all know me folks. Town darling Mr. Mystery! As you know, I always bring the people of this fair town novelties and befuddlements, the likes of which the world has never known. But enough about me. Behold… ME!" He said, taking the sheet off the statue. It had a comically large grin, one hand on its hip, and the other out in a thumbs-up pose. "And now a word from our own Mabelangelo!" he said, standing to the side.

"It's Mabel," I said, taking the mic. "Thank you for coming! I made this sculpture with my own two hands! It's covered in my blood, sweat, tears, and other fluids!" The last part made most of the audience cringe, but I went on talking. "Yeah, anyway, I will now take questions. You in the back."

The guy I pointed to was the crazy guy from the fishing trip. "Old Man McGucket, local kook," he said standing up. "Are the wax figures alive? And, follow-up question, can I survive the wax-man uprising?"

"Um… Yes! Next question!" I said, pointing to a guy in the front row.

"Toby Determined, _Gravity Falls Gossiper._ Do you really think this constitutes a wonder of the world?" he asked, holding out a turkey baster. I was about to answer, but Grunkle Stan beat me to it.

"Your microphone's a turkey baster, Toby. Next question."

"Shandra Jimenez, a _real_ reporter," a woman in the third row said, looking at Toby with some heat. "Your flyers promised free pizza with admission to this event. Is this true?" The crowd started getting angry then, standing up and moving closer to the stage.

"That was a typo. Good night everyone!" Grunkle Stan said, activating a smoke bomb and running off the stage. The crowd left, flipping chairs, and one guy bunched the lamp pole. I went over to Dipper, Willow and Wendy, who were in charge of admission.

"I think that went well," I said, leaning on the table. That night Grunkle Stan was counting the money we made. It was a pretty good amount, and apparently he was impressed with it.

"Hot pumpkin pie! Look at all this cash! And I owe it all to one person… THIS GUY!" He said, pointing at his replica. I elbowed him in the ribs, then he started noogying me. "Yeah, you too, you little gremlin. Now go wash up and get to bed. We got another long day of fleecing rubes tomorrow. Go, go!" He said, pushing me upstairs.

I went into the attic and got changed, then went into the bathroom and started brushing my teeth. Dipper and Willow were already there. "You guys want to do a toothbrush race?" I asked. They nodded, but before we could start we heard Grunkle Stan yelling downstairs. We put our stuff down, then ran into the living room. He was standing in the doorway, so we couldn't see what was wrong.

"Wax Stan! He's been… murdered!" Grunkle Stan said, moving to the side. The wax figure was on the ground, but his head was missing. I felt my heart beat faster, felt dizzy, and right before I blacked out, I heard the grandfather clock bong ten o'clock.

 **Dipper's POV**

Mabel eventually came to, and was now kneeling next to the figures body. Stan was explaining what had happened to some police officers. "I got up to use the john, right? And when I come back… BLAMMO, he's headless!"

"What's your opinion, Sheriff Blubs?" the taller cop asked. The shorter one responded.

"Look, Durland and I would love to help you folks, but let's face the facts… this case is unsolvable."

"What?!" the four of us said, but Stan added, "You take that back, Sheriff Blubs!"

"You're kidding, right? There must be evidence, motives. I could help if you want," I offered. Mabel stood up then gave me some backup support.

"He's really good. He figured out who was eating our tin cans!"

"All signs pointed to the goat."

"Yeah, let the boy help. He's got a little brain up in his head," Stan said. Apparently the cops weren't impressed.

"Would you look at what we got here! City boy thinks he's gonna solve a mystery with his fancy computer phone!" Bulbs said.

"City boooy! City BOOOOOOY!" Durland yelled.

"You are adorable!" Bulbs said, then he and Durland started laughing. They calmed down enough for Blubs to talk again. "Look PJ's, how about you leave the investigating to the grown-ups, okay?" Then his walkie talkie turned on and we heard a guy's voice.

" _Attention all units. Steve is about to fit an entire cantaloupe in his mouth. Repeat, an entire cantaloupe in his mouth!"_

"It's a 23-16!" Durland yelled.

"Let's move!" Blubs said, grabbing his gear and running out the door with Durland following him. We heard the siren get quieter and eventually stop all together. I turned Mabel and Willow, slightly pissed off at the cops.

"That's it! Tomorrow we are going to find the jerk who did this and get back that head! Then we'll see who's adorable!" I said, but then I sneezed, which didn't help anything.

"Aww, you sneeze like a kitten!" Mabel said, ignoring my death glare.

 **GFF (June 18** **th** **)**

We got up early and were now downstairs looking at the crime scene. We even put fake police tape up. Mabel was taking pictures of the crime scene, and Willow was setting up one of those evidence-board things people use to organize and connect the evidence. I looked at Willow's display, and then started thinking out loud.

"Wax Stan lost his head, and it's up to us to find out who did it and get the head back. There were a lot of unhappy customers at the unveiling. The murderer could have been anyone."

"Even us!" Mabel interrupted. I took the journal out of my vest and started looking at it, even though it probably wouldn't help us much.

"In this town, anything is possible. Gnomes, zombies, it could be months before we find our first clue."

"Look, footprints in the carpet!" Willow said, pointing to the ground. One of the shoes had a hole, but I was more focused on where they went. I followed them behind the chair and saw an ax on the floor. I turned around to show the girls, and they gasped.

"Let's see what Soos thinks," I said, then went into the gift shop. Soos was behind the counter, so we went over. I handed him the ax, then explained what we found out. "There were footprints leading to it. We think it belongs to the murderer. What do you think?"

"In my opinion, this is an ax," he said, giving it back to me. Willow's face lit up.

"The lumberjack! He was furious when he didn't get that free pizza!"

"Furious enough for murder!" Mabel said.

"You must mean Manly Dan," Soos said. "If you want to find him, he hangs out at this crazy intense biker joint downtown."

"Then that's where we're going!" I said.

"Dudes, this is so awesome! You three are like, Pines Inc.!"

"Don't call us that," I said, walking outside. Stan was pulling a coffin out of his car.

"Hey kids, give me a hand here," He said, looking at us. "I'm doing a memorial for Wax Stan. Something small, but classy."

"Sorry Grunkle Stan, but we got a break in the case! We're going into town right now to interrogate the murderer!" Willow said, punching her fist into her hand.

"Seems like the kind of thing a responsible parent wouldn't want you doing. Good thing I'm an uncle! Avenge me kids, AVENGE MEEE!"

 **GFF**

"This is the place," I said. We were in an alley next to Skull Fracture. I looked around the corner and saw a guy with a lot of tattoos standing guard. He looked toward me and I pulled my head back. "Got the fake IDs?" I asked Mabel. She handed one to me and one to Willow, then we went up to the door.

"We're here to interrogate Manly Dan the lumberjack for the murder of Wax Stan," Mabel said, showing the guard her ID. He took it, shrugged, then opened the door. Some of the guys were fighting, others were sitting at the bar, and at least three were on the ground, hopefully unconscious.

"Just try to blend in, ok?" I told Mabel. She nodded, then jumped on a stool next to some biker. Willow and I went to the back of the room where Manly Dan was arm wrestling a machine. "Manly Dan, just the guy we were looking for. Where were you last night?" I asked, getting right to the point.

"Punchin' the clock," He growled.

"You were at work?" Willow asked.

"No, I was punchin' that clock!" he said, pointing out the window. A clock was bent and the hands were frozen at… ten o'clock.

"Ten… the time of the murder. So you've never seen this before?" Willow asked, pulling the ax out of my backpack.

"Listen kids, I wouldn't pick my teeth with that ax. It's left handed! I only use my right hand, the MANLY HAND!" He said, breaking the arm off the machine.

"Thanks, let's get out of here," Willow said, writing something in her notebook. We went to Mabel and pulled her away from the biker guy. We walked down the sidewalk, me walking backwards.

"It's a left handed ax. That should definitely help us narrow down our suspect list," I said to Mabel. Willow held up her notebook. One column had names, and the other two said 'left' and 'right' at the top.

"These are all our suspects. If Manly Dan was right, and I'm pretty sure he was, all we have to do now is find out who is left handed and we've got our killer."

"We are on fire today!" Mabel said excitedly.

"Let's find that murderer!" I said. If there was any doubt before, there is none now; the people in Gravity Falls are WEIRD! The crazy old guy actually had a baby alligator on his arm when we visited him. Eventually we went through most of the people, all of whom were right handed. Willow flipped to the next page then gasped and showed us.

"There's only one suspect left on my list!"

"It all adds up!" I said, gasping.

"And he is definitely left handed!" Mabel added.

"Let's get the cops," I said, running to the police station. About an hour later, we were in front of a house, the cops on either side of the door.

"You kids better be right about this, or you'll never hear the end of it," Blubs whispered to us.

"The evidence is irrefutable," I said, also whispering. "Move in on three. One… Two…"

Durland kicked the door down, then both of the cops went in. We followed them and saw that Toby was on the ground, a confused look on his face. We went over to him, the Willow 'explained' what was going on. "Toby Determined, you're under arrest for the murder of the wax body of our Grunkle Stan!"

"You have the right to remain impressed with our awesome detective work," Mabel added. Toby still looked lost.

"I don't understand!" He said, standing up.

"Then let me explain. You were hoping that Grunkle Stan's new attraction would be the story that saved your failing newspaper. But when the show was a flop, you decided to make your own headline. You cut off Wax Stan's head and almost got away with it. But you were sloppy, and all the clues pointed to a shabby shoed reporter who was caught left handed," I said. Toby was silent for a few seconds, but then his face broke out in a grin.

"Boy kids, you little knees must be sore, from jumping to conclusions. I had nothing to do with that murder." Mabel, Willow and I looked at each other, now confused ourselves.

"Where were you the night of the break in?" Blubs asked. Toby put a tape into the TV then hit play. It was him alone in a room. In the video, he opened the closet and pulled out a life-size cutout of the girl reporter from the unveiling. He started dancing and kissing the cutout, and I turned away. "Time state confirms it. Toby, you're off the hook, you freak of nature."

"But it has to be him! Check the ax for fingerprints!" I said, practically pleading with the cops. Blubs took a finger print duster out of his pocket and put powder on the handle. He looked up, slightly confused, but more annoyed.

"No prints at all."

"No prints? How is that possible?" I said out loud. This was getting weirder by the minute.

"Toby, I got a headline for you. City kids waste everyone's time!" Durland said, then he, Blubs, and Toby all cracked up.

"Let's get out of here," Willow said, putting her hand on my shoulder. "Wax Stan's memorial should be starting soon."

 **GFF**

Stan had set up the ceremony in the wax room. The coffin was up front with a podium next to it. Chairs were set up, most with the other wax people leaning against them. The first row was me, Mabel, Willow and Soos. Stan was standing behind the podium, giving the eulogy.

"Kids, Soos, lifeless wax figures, thank you all for coming. Some people might say it's wrong for a man to love a wax replica of himself."

"Their wrong!" Soos said, jumping up from his chair.

"Easy Soos. Wax Stan, I hope you're picking pockets in wax heaven," Stan said, failing to hold in his tears any longer. He ran from the room, Soos following him. I stood up and went over to the coffin.

"Those cops were right about me," I said depressed.

"Dipper, cheer up. We've come so far! We can't give up now!" Willow said. I turned around to face them.

"But we considered everything. The weapon, the clues, the motive, what are we missing here?" I asked, turning back around. I looked in the coffin and noticed a hole in Wax Stan's shoe. "Why does Wax Stan have a hole in his shoe?" I asked, looking at Mabel.

"All the wax guys have that. It's where the pole thingy attaches to their stand dealy," she said, coming over.

"Wait, they ALL have a hole in their shoe?" I asked. Mabel nodded, still not connecting the dots. But Willow did and her face went from realization, to confusion, to scared all in two seconds. "Guys, what has a hole it its shoe and _no fingerprints?_ The murderers are-"

"Standing right behind you!" We turned around and saw all the wax figures coming to life. A wax girl took the ax from Willow, who had grabbed it from my backpack. Wax Sherlock Holmes, the one who spoke first, came over and pointed his magnifying glass at us with his left hand.

"Congratulations my amateur sleuths. You have unburied the truth, and now we're going to bury you. Bravo, Dipper Pines. You discovered our little secret," Wax Sherlock said, taking Wax Stan's head out of his cape. I was still completely lost, and I could tell that the girls were just as confused as I was.

"How the hell is this possible? You're made of wax!" Willow said, snapping out of her trance.

"Are you magic?" Mabel asked. By then I had mostly come to my senses, but I still couldn't talk. I didn't have to because Wax Sherlock started explaining what was going on.

"She wants to know if we're magic! How adorable is that?! WE'RE BLOODY CURSED! Cursed to come to life whenever the moon is waxing."

"I'm still lost," I said, finally able to talk again.

"Your uncle bought us from a haunted garage sale many years ago. And so, the Mystery Shack Wax Collection was born. By day, we would be the playthings of man. But when your uncle went to sleep, we would rule the night. It was a charmed life for us cursed beings. Until we stopped bringing in money and your uncle closed up shop. We've been waiting ten years to get our revenge on Stan for locking us away. But when we finally got our chance, we got the wrong guy."

"So you're trying to murder Grunkle Stan for real?" I said, less confused and more scared now.

"You were right all along Dipper! Wax people ARE creepy!" Mabel said, looking at me.

"Enough!" Wax Sherlock said, interrupting us. "Now that you know our secret, you must die." His eyes, and the eyes of all the other wax people, rolled up into their heads so they looked kind of zombified. They walked toward us, and we started backing up. We had to stop when we backed into a table.

"What do we do?" Mabel asked me.

"I don't know!" I replied.

"Throw stuff at them!" Willow said, grabbing anything she could off the table and throwing it. It didn't hurt them, but it made them back up a little. I grabbed a coffee pot and flung the coffee at Wax Genghis Khan. It was hot enough to melt his face a little bit and make him scream. "That's it! Dipper, you're a genius! Here, use these!" Willow said, giving each of us an electric candle. We faced the wax figures, making them back up.

"Anyone move and we'll melt you into candles!" I said, moving forward.

"Do you really think you can defeat us?" Wax Sherlock asked.

"Not sure, but it's worth a shot!" Willow yelled.

"So be it! Wax Figures… ATTACK!" The girls and I split up, each taking three or four of the wax figures. I cut Larry King's head off, then turned around when I felt someone grab my candle. I cut the wax figure of Groucho Marx in half at the waist. Wax Genghis Khan ran at me, put I moved to the side and he ran into the fire.

"Dipper, watch out!" Mabel yelled. I cut off Wax Nixon's leg, then turned around and saw Wax Sherlock coming at me. He put Wax Stan's head on a rhino horn, then grabbed a sword off the wall. He swung the sword at me and I blocked it with my candle. The sword missed me, but my candle broke so I was weaponless now.

"Catch!" Willow said, throwing a red-hot fire poker at me. I grabbed it, then Wax Sherlock and I started having a fight for our lives (or whatever Wax Sherlock was). Mostly he was on the offensive and I was blocking. He made me back up a lot, and eventually he pushed me up the stairs onto the attic level. It was kind of awkward because he was left handed and I used my right, but neither of us actually got any hits in. He backed me up against the wall.

"Once your bloody family is out of the way, we'll rule the night once again!" He said, bringing his sword up. I looked out the window, then just as he was about to cut me in half I dove through his legs. I pushed open the window and climbed out onto the roof. "Come back here you brat!"

I climbed onto the 'Shack' sign, then turned around to face him. He swung the sword at me, but I backed up and the sword knocked the S off the sign. I swung the poker and hit his arm, but by then it wasn't hot enough to do any serious damage. "Damn it!" I yelled, throwing the poker off the roof. By then Wax Sherlock had recovered and was coming at me again. I jumped off the sign and went to the other side of the roof. I almost fell, but was able to save myself and hid behind the chimney. I looked around the corner, but next thing I knew I was flying backward. I landed on my back, all the wind coming out of me. I sat up and saw Wax Sherlock standing above me.

"Any last words?" He said, raising his sword. I looked to the side and… perfect timing.

"Got any sunscreen?" I said, standing up just as the sun came over the horizon. His hands started to melt, dropping the sword. He continued to melt as I said, "Letting me lead you outside, probably not your brightest decision."

"Outsmarted by a bloody child. But we'll be back. Mark my words, we WILL be back!" He said, now only his head remaining in one piece.

"Case closed," I said, dusting my hands off. Unfortunately, the dust made me sneeze again.

"You DO sneeze like a kitten. Those bloody policemen were right. You're adorable!" Wax Sherlock's head said, just before it fell off the roof. I went back in the house and saw Mabel throwing the wax parts into the fire and Willow melting some of the wax off the walls.

"Dipper, you weren't killed!" Willow said, noticing me first. That was her creepy way of saying I'm glad you're okay.

"You solved the mystery after all!" Mabel said, throwing the last of the wax parts into the fire. I grabbed a chair and got Wax Stan's head off of the rhino's horn.

"I couldn't have done it without you two. Thanks for all your help." I said, jumping down.

"Hot Belgian Waffles! What happened to my parlor?!" Stan said, walking into the room. Willow had gotten some of the wax off, but it was still a mess.

"Your wax figures turned out to be evil so we fought them to the death!" Willow said.

"I decapitated Larry King," I added, handing Wax Stan's head to Mabel behind her back. After all, it was her creation.

"You kids and your imaginations," Stan said, looking at us like we were crazy.

"On the bright side, we got this back!" Mabel said, taking Wax Stan's head out from behind her. Real Stan's face lit up, a grin as big as the figures on his face.

"My head! Nice going, kiddos! Line up for some affectionate noogie-ing!" He said, rubbing his fist on our heads. Then the police showed up outside the window.

"Solve the case yet, boy? I'm so confident you're gonna say no, I'm gonna take a long, slow slip from my cup of coffee," Blubs said, doing just that. I took Wax Stan's head from Stan and showing it to them.

"Actually, the answer is yes," I said. The cops started spitting coffee in each other's faces, then Blubs started driving away. A few seconds later we all heard a crash, then we started cracking up. "Did you get rid of all the wax figures?" I asked Mabel.

"99% sure that I did!" She responded.

"If not, there's not enough left to do any damage," Willow added.

"Good enough for me!" I said, smiling and nodding, just glad it was all over, at least for now. In Gravity Falls, nothing stays 'normal' for very long.


	4. The Hand That Rocks the Mabel

**First off happy Easter. I was disappointed that nobody reviewed the last chapter. If you read it, please review it. Thank you and I hope you enjoy the chapter.**

* * *

 **Mabel's POV (June 19** **th** **)**

We had gotten most of the wax cleaned up. Soos had come over, so that made it go faster. Right now, Grunkle Stan was giving a tour and Dipper, Willow, Soos and I were watching a show called _Tiger Fist._ A tiger had lost a leg in an explosion, but surgeons repaired him with a fist. The show went to commercial, a bunch of doves coming from the bottom of the screen.

"Hey, it's that commercial I was telling you dudes about," Soos said. I started paying more attention.

" _Are you completely miserable? If so, then you need to meet… Gideon,"_ the voice over said.

"Gideon?" Dipper said.

"Who the hell is Gideon?" Willow asked.

"What makes him so special?" I added. As if the voice over knew what we said, he responded.

" _He's a psychic. So don't waste your time with other, 'Men of Mystery,'"_ A picture of Grunkle Stan with the word FRAUD stamped on it showed up. " _Learn about tomorrow tonight at Gideon's Tent of Telepathy,"_ the voice over said, then speeding through the subtext.

"I'm getting all curiousy inside!" I said, looking at Dipper and Willow.

"Don't get too curiousy," Grunkle Stan said, walking into the room. "Ever since that monster Gideon rolled into town, I've had nothing but trouble."

"Is he really psychic?" Willow asked.

"I think we should go find out," Dipper added, excitedly.

"Never!" Grunkle Stan yelled. "You're forbidden from patronizing the competition. No one that lives under my roof is allowed under that Gideon's roof!"

"Do tents have roofs?" Dipper asked, looking at Willow.

"I don't think so," she said. She was better at all that legal stuff than either of us.

"I think we found our loophole," I said, standing up. I jumped a little bit when the voice over came back on.

" _So come on down soon folks. Gideon is expecting you."_

 **GFF**

We went to the Tent of Telepathy that night. It was a pretty cool place, especially considering you really can't put that much stuff in a tent. The lights started flashing, then focused on the center of the stage. Everyone got really quiet. "Let's see what this monster looks like," Dipper said as a shadow came up behind the curtain.

The curtain opened and we saw Gideon. Not at all what I expected him to look like. He was probably ten or eleven, and really short. But his hair, which was a blinding white, was the same height as his head, so counting that, the two of us probably would have been pretty close. "Hello Gravity Falls! My name is Li'l Gideon!" He said, clapping and making doves come out of his hair.

"That's Stan's mortal enemy?" Dipper said, failing to keep the laughter out of his voice.

"He's so wittle!" I said.

"His hair hurts my eyes," Willow said, covering them with her hand. I couldn't blame her. The spotlights made his hair even brighter than it would normally be.

"Ladies and gentlemen, it's such a gift to have you here tonight! I have a vision. I predict you will all soon say, 'aww.'" Gideon said, turning around and facing the curtain. He faced the crowd again with a goofy grin and big puppy-dog eyes on his face. Naturally, everyone in the audience went "Aww!"

"It came true," I said, shocked.

"That's not psychic!" "I'm not impressed!" Dipper and Willow said at the same time. Gideon gave a signal to someone and a piano started playing, Gideon singing and dancing with the music.

" _Oh, I can see what others can't see_

 _It ain't some sideshow trick, it's innate ability_

 _Where others are blind, I am futurely inclined_

 _And you too could see, if you was widdle ol' me!_

Come on everybody rise up! I want y'all to keep it going!"

Everyone in the crowd, including us, stood up, most of them clapping along with the beat. The weird part was we didn't stand up willingly. It wasn't like a struggle or anything. It was more like we were programmed to stand up right then. "What the-?" "How did he-?" Dipper and Willow asked, looking confused. They couldn't get answers because Gideon was singing again.

" _You wish your son would call you more._

 _I sense that you've been here before._

 _I'll read your mind if I'm able,_

 _Something tells me your named Mabel!"_

He had come over to us during the last two lines and was now running back onto the stage.

" _So welcome all ye… to the Tent of Telepathy!_

 _And thanks for visiting… WIDDLE OL' ME!"_

The song ended and everyone started clapping. Gideon wiped his face with a towel then took a water bottle from his jacket and drank half of it at once. "Thank you everyone! Y'all are the real miracles!" He said, walking backstage. The crowd started standing up and leaving, talking about the show. We stood up and walked to the exit. Dipper, always the disbeliever, had to ruin it.

"That kid's an even bigger fraud than Stan! No wonder our uncle's jealous!" He said, walking backward.

"Come on Dip. His dance moves were adorable! And did you see his hair? It was AMAZING!" I said excitedly.

"I couldn't even look at him because of his hair. I missed half the show!" Willow complained. Then her face cleared. "Although his song was pretty cool. For being the youngest 'psychic' in history, he can sing pretty good. And you have to give him credit for the fact that he didn't know who was going to show up today. But you're right Dipper. That kid is definitely trouble."

"Still, Mabel is too easily impressed. At least you look at everything." Dipper said. We started walking back home, messing with each other the whole time. This was the first 'normal' thing we had done since finding the journal. It was good to have one night that didn't have any supernatural craziness to deal with.

 **GFF (June 20** **th** **)**

"Check it out guys! I successfully bedazzled my face!" I said, showing Dipper and Mabel the sequins on my face. I blinked, which hurt A LOT, and a few sequins came off.

"Are those permanent?" Dipper asked, brushing the sequins off the table. Willow, of course, had to be creepy.

"Maybe the sequins will slowly eat away at your face and make you look ugly and nasty. Then no boy will ever want to go out with you again because you look so ugly. You'll die sad and alone living by yourself in the forest. You'll die by a bear seeing you and thinking you were already dead because of your face and eat you. And your husband wouldn't be around to save you because you won't have a husband. That would really suck, wouldn't it Mabel?"

Before I could respond the doorbell rang. "Somebody answer the door!" Grunkle Stan yelled from upstairs.

"I'll get it," I said, wiping the sequins off my face. I opened the door and looked outside. At first I didn't see anyone, but then I looked down and noticed Gideon.

"Howdy," he said, giving me a half bow. When he stood up straight, I noticed that I was right in saying we were close in height, counting his hair. Without it, he would have been at my chin.

"It's 'wittle old' you!" I said, excitedly. Then I added, "Nice show last night."

"Yeah, my song's quite catchy," he said, kind of nervously. "I know we haven't formally met, but after last night's performance I just couldn't get your laugh out of my head."

"You mean this one?" I said, laughing kind of over the top. Gideon didn't seem to care.

"What a delight! When I saw you in the audience, I said to myself, 'Now there's a kindred spirit. Someone who appreciates the sparkly things in life.'"

"That's totally me!" I said, laughing for real this time. I started coughing and a few sequins landed on Gideon's jacket.

"Who's at the door?" Grunkle Stan yelled from inside.

"No one Grunkle Stan!" I yelled back.

"I appreciate your digression. Stan's no fan of mine," Gideon said, relived. "I don't know how a lemon so sour could be related to a peach so sweet!"

"GIDEON!" I said, pushing him a bit.

"Why don't we step away from here and chat a bit more? Perhaps in my dressin' room?"

"Oh, makeovers!"

 **GFF**

His dressing room was AMAZING! There was so much stuff, and I was really pleased with what Gideon had come up with for me. I walked into the shack and wiggled my fingers over Dipper and Willow's head. "Hey guys. What's going oooon?"

"Where have you been? And what's up with your fingernails? You look like Wolverine!" Dipper said, pushing my hands away and sitting up.

"That's because she is Wolverine! He's not really played by Hugh Jackman. He's really played by Mabel and the editors use technology to make her look different. So Mabel, when's the next movie, and can we get a discount?" Willow asked. I just ignored her and answered Dipper's questions.

"I was hanging out with my new pal Gideon. He is one dapper little man."

"I don't trust anyone who's hair is bigger than his head." He replied.

"Leave him alone. You and Willow never want to do girly stuff with me. You two do guys stuff with Soos all the time."

"Name one-" Willow started to say, but Soos ran in.

"Hey dudes! You guys ready to blow up these hot dogs in the microwave one by one?"

"Are we!" They said, running away.

"You just proved my point!" I called after them.

 **GFF**

"The view from your family's factory is nuts!" I said to Gideon. We had gotten onto the roof of a warehouse and we could see the whole town.

"Mabel, when I'm up here lookin' down on all those little ol' people, I feel like I'm king of all survey!" He said, kind of evilly. "I guess that makes you my queen!"

"What? You are being so nice to me! Quit it!" I said, backslapping him gently.

"I can't quit it. I'm speakin' from the heart."

"From the where-now?"

"Mabel, I've never felt this close to anyone," He said, rubbing my hair. I grabbed his hand and pushed it back, realizing where this was going.

"Look Gideon, I like you a lot, but let's just be friends. The last time… let's just say the guy wasn't who I thought he was."

"At least give me a chance. Mabel, will you do me the honor of goin' on a date with me?"

"A play date?"

"Mmnn."

"A shopping date?"

"No. It'll just be one li'l ol' date. I swear on my luck bolo tie."

"Um, okay… I guess…" I said. One date to make the kid happy, why not? Making the kid happy worked overtime. He threw his arms around me faster than I could blink.

"Mabel Pines, you have made me the happiest boy in the world!"

"Are you sniffing my hair?"

 **GFF**

"It's not a DATE." I said. After I had gotten home, Willow, Dipper and I were playing video games until Gideon came.

"Be careful. He will definitely ask you out again." Willow said, blasting three guys in a row.

"No he won't. Anyway, I only said yes because I didn't want to hurt his feelings. Throw him a bone, you know?"

"Willow's right. You never should have said yes. Guys don't work that way. He's gonna fall in love with you." Dipper said, moving his avatar around a corner.

"Please, I'm not that lovable." I said, annihilating his character in three blasts.

"Okay, we agree on something." He said, throwing down his controller. Then the doorbell rang.

"Coming!" I yelled, standing up. I opened the door and screamed when a horse put its head through. "What the horse?!"

"A night of enchantment awaits, m'lady!" Gideon said, holding his hand down to me from on the horse's back.

"Oh, boy…"

 **GFF**

"…So I said, 'Autograph your own head shot lady!'" Gideon said, laughing. I just laughed nervously, poking the lobster on my plate. He pinched the fork, and I sank down lower in the booth.

"Mabel, this dinner date was a complete success. And our next date promises to top this one in every way!"

"Wait, next date? You just said one, and this was it." I said, sitting up. Gideon looked behind him, then faced me again, his arm out.

"What a surprise! A red crested South American rainbow macaw!" He said, a giant bird flying over and landing on his arm. I screamed and grabbed the lobster, moving so only my head was above the table. The macaw started… talking? Tweeting? I don't know.

"MABEL! WILL YOU ACCOMPANY GIDEON TO THE BALLROOM DANCE TONIGHT AT GRAPE?" Gideon shook the macaw, causing it to say "EIGHT!" and cough up a letter, then fly away. Some of the other's in the restaurant came over saying how adorable we were together.

"Mabel, they're expectin' us. Please say you'll go." Gideon said, showing me the invitation.

"Gideon, I'm sorry, but I have to say-"

 **GFF**

"Hey, how'd it go?" Dipper asked me as I walked past. After dinner, I had put my lobster in a to-go bag and brought him home. Dipper and Willow were sitting at the table, looking at the journal again. I walked over to the axolotl tank and opened the lid.

"I don't know… I have a lobster now." I said, putting him in the tank with the axolotl.

"Do you have a name for him yet?" Willow asked. I shook my head, and after a few seconds, her face lit up. "I know! Let's call him Death Claws!" I just watched the lob- watched Death Claws move around.

"Yeah, okay Death Claws. You have fun with that." Dipper said, looking at Willow like she was crazy (which she is). "Mabel, at least it's over and you don't have to go out with him again. It's over, right?" he asked when I didn't respond.

"BLAARRGG!" I said, waving my arms and turning around. "He asked me to a dance tonight and I didn't know how to say no!"

"Like this: no."

"It's not that easy Dipper!"

"She's right. That feeling you get when someone doesn't like you, everyone gets it. And it's hard knowing that if you say no, the person will get that feeling. You don't want it just like you don't want to cause it. But Mabel, seriously. This has got to stop before it goes to far." Willow said, defending me and telling me to knock it off at the same time.

"I know, and anyway I do like Gideon. Only as a friend/little sister and I don't want to hurt his feelings! I just need to get things back to where they used to be. You know, friends. How hard can it be?"

 **GFF**

Very hard. After dancing Gideon had dragged me to the lake. We were on a rowboat, Old Man McGucket rowing, in the middle of the lake. "I thought dancing was going to be the end of the evening." I said, facing Gideon. Despite everything, the view was amazing. We didn't get a lot of starry nights back home so stargazing had become one of my favorite things about living in the middle of nowhere, and the reflection in the water made it extra special. Gideon seemed to sense how excited I was.

"Don't you want this evenin' to last, my sweet?" He asked, leaning forward.

"NO!" I yelled, leaning back. "I mean, yes. I mean… I'm always happy to hang out with a friend, buddy, pal, chum, other word for friend…"

"Pal?" McGucket offered.

"I already said pal. Umm… mate?"

"How about _soul mate?"_ Gideon said, taking my hands. For some reason fireworks went off. I looked up and saw them explode in my name with a heart around it. _Great, now how am I gonna say no?_

 **GFF**

"… I mean, he's so nice… but I can't keep doing this. But I can't break his heart. I HAVE NO WAY OUT!" I yelled. After the lake, he had taken me home. Right now I was pacing in the living room, talking to myself.

"What the hell happened on that date?" Willow asked, coming in with Dipper following her.

"I don't know! I was in the friend zone, and before I knew what was happening, he pulled me into the romance zone! It was like quicksand! Chubby quicksand!"

"Come on, Mabel. I think you're over exaggerating. It's not like you're going to have to marry Gideon." Dipper said.

"Great news Mabel! You have to marry Gideon!" Grunkle Stan said, walking in.

"WHAT?!"

"It's all part of my long term deal with Buddy Gleeful. There's a lot of cash tied up in this. Plus, I got this shirt. I am fat." He said, pointing to his 'Team Gideon' shirt. I screamed and ran upstairs to the attic. I sat on the floor and pulled my knees and head into my shirt. I heard the door open, but didn't move.

"Mabel…" Willow asked.

"Mabel's not here. She's in sweater town." I said, rocking back and forth.

"Are you going to come out of sweater town?" Dipper asked, putting his hand on my shoulder. I just whined, which was apparently his last straw. "Alright. If you can't break up with Gideon, I'll do it for you."

"You will?" I asked, pulling my head out. He nodded, and I threw my arms around him. "Thank you, thank you, thank you!"

"Okay, alright. When's your next date?" He said, pushing me back.

"Tomorrow. We're going to eat brunch at The Club around nine."

"In that case, consider it over."

"I'll come to. It might be easier if he hears it from a girl." Willow added.

"I owe you both so much! I love you guys."

 **Gideon's POV (June 21st** **)**

"Ah hem," I heard. I was sittin' in The Club waitin' for my Mabel. I looked up and saw her brother Dipper and sister Willow. Mabel was nowhere in sight.

"Well, Dipper and Willow Pines. You both look good." I said.

"Thanks, you… Look Gideon. We've got to talk. Mabel isn't going to join you today. She doesn't want to see you anymore. She's kind of weirded out by you, no offense." Dipper said, kind of nervously. I felt my eye twitch.

"So what you're sayin' is… you've… come between us." I said, my eye twitchin' again.

"It's not like that, kid. It just, you came on a little strong and it freaked her out. You're not gonna freak out, are you?" Willow said, holdin' her hands up. I was about to freak, but then I realized that now was not the time. I had to play it cool, for now.

"Of course not. These things happen. Bygones, you know?" I said, makin' sure my eye didn't twitch again. They seemed to believe it.

"Okay, cool. So, again, sorry man, but thumbs up, okay?" Dipper said, he and Willow walkin' away. Willow turned around just before she left and mouthed _I'm sorry_ towards me. _Its okay_ I mouthed back.

"Thumbs up indeed, my friends."

 **GFF**

"Pines, you have no idea what you've done!" I yelled in my room. I grabbed the amulet around my neck and made the lightbulbs around my mirror explode. Then I made everythin' in my room levitate and crash on the ground. "You have just made the biggest mistake of your lives!"

"Gideon Charles Gleeful, clean up your room this instant!" Daddy said, opening the door.

"I CAN BUY AND SELL YOU OLD MAN!" I yelled, my hand still on the amulet.

"Fair enough," he said, closing'the door. I looked at a picture of my Mabel and her siblings, then incinerated Willow and Dipper. _This is going to be fun_ I thought to myself.

 **Willow's POV**

"Hit me dudes!" Soos said, stuffing a pillow under his shirt. Dipper, Mabel and I charged at him, falling on the ground laughing. "Feels good," he said, taking the pillow out.

"I need some water. I'll be back," I said, walking into the shack. Just before I went into the kitchen, the phone rang. "Hello?" I said, picking it up.

"Toby Determined, Gravity Falls Gossiper." The guy on the other side said.

"Oh, hey. Sorry for accusing you of murder the other day."

"Water under the bridge. I would like to interview you and your brother about something unusual."

"Umm, can you hold on for a minute?" I asked. When he said yes, I put the phone down and opened the door. "Dipper, come here!" I yelled, using my hand to tell him to come.

"What's up?" he said, walking onto the porch.

"Just come on," I said, walking into the house and putting the phone on speaker. "Hey, you're on speaker. Dipper's here. What do you need?"

"The Gossiper would like to interview you about whether you've seen anything unusual about this town since you've arrived." Toby said. Dipper practically started yelling.

"FINALLY! I thought no one would ever ask. We have notes and theories and a whole bunch of codes. Where do you want to have the interview?" he asked, grabbing a pen and notebook from his vest. That was something we had started doing recently. We never left the house without at least 3 pens and a pocket notebook. You never know when the smallest things will be important later on.

"The address is 412 Gopher Road. Can you meet there tonight around eight?"

"No problem. See you then. We can't wait," I said, hanging up the phone. "We going to bring the journal?"

"Definitely. We are going to need cold hard proof if the editors are going to believe us."

 **GFF**

That night we went to the address. It was a warehouse on top of a cliff. I would have thought it would have been in town, but I wasn't that concerned. Dipper had the journal in his vest. I opened the door and we went inside.

"Hello?" I called looking around. The lights were out so I couldn't see much, just a bunch of boxes. "Toby?" Still no answer.

"Let's get out of here. This place gives me the creeps." Dipper said, walking towards the doorway. Before he could leave, the door slammed shut. Dipper started banging on the door, trying to open it. Then the lights came on and I saw a swivel chair in the middle of the floor.

"Hello friends," Gideon said, turning the chair around to face us.

"Gideon, what are you doing here?" I said, feeling my pulse start to get faster.

"Willow and Dipper Pines. How long you been livin' in this town? A week, two? You like it here? Enjoy the sights?" Gideon said, petting a Gideon doll like a movie villain petting a cat.

"What do you want from us man?" Dipper said, going into protective brother mode and stepping in front of me.

"Listen carefully boy. This town has secrets you couldn't begin to comprehend!"

"Is this about Mabel? We told you she's not into you like that!" I said, moving to stand next to Dipper.

"LIARS! You turned her against me! She was my peach dumplin'!" Gideon got out of his chair and started walking towards us, his hand on the amulet around his neck.

"You okay man?" Dipper said, stepping in front of me again. It didn't help much. Without warning we were surrounded by a greenish glow and floating off the ground. I looked at Gideon and saw the same glow coming from his hand. Then Dipper and I were flying backwards into one of the boxes. The box broke open, Gideon Dolls going everywhere. "Willow, you good?" Dipper asked, trying to get the dolls out of the way.

"Readin' minds ain't all I can do," Gideon said, standing in front of us.

"How the hell is this possible? You're a fake!" I yelled, standing up and getting into a fighting pose.

"Tell me; is this fake?" He said, levitating all of the merchandise and throwing it at us. We ran back and forth. You wouldn't think it, but those talking dolls hurt A LOT when someone is using The Force to throw them at you.

"Willow, look out!" Dipper yelled, tackling me from behind. I was able to see a filing cabinet fly over my head before we crashed into the wall. I was okay, just a bit winded. Dipper had turned me around during the tackle, so he had hit the wall full force. He was still conscious, but definitely looked confused.

"Grunkle Stan was right; you are a monster!" I yelled, helping Dipper stand up. I looked to my right in one of the boxes and saw a few baseball bats. I grabbed two and handed one to Dipper. "Charge him on three. One… two… THREE!" I whisper-shouted. We ran at him, but I guess we made more noise than I thought because before we were even halfway we were levitating again, the bats no longer in our hands.

"She's never going to date you!" Dipper yelled, trying to break free. At least he seemed okay after his wall crash.

"That's a lie! And I'm going to make sure you never lie to me again." Gideon said, levitating a pair of lamb shears from one of the boxes.

"Gideon! We have to talk!" Mabel yelled from the doorway. Gideon dropped the shears, but Dipper and I were still floating.

"Mabel, my marshmalla. What are you doin' here?" Gideon said, turning around.

"I'm sorry Gideon, but I can't be your marshmalla. I needed to be honest and tell you that myself." She said, standing in front of him now.

"I don't understand," Gideon said, adding pressure to the amulet. It reminded me of the Darth Vader-Force-choke hold from the Star Wars movies.

"Mabel, not the best time to be honest with him!" I called, forcing the words out.

"We can still be makeover buddies right? Wouldn't you like that?" Mabel said, putting her hands on his arms.

"Really?" He said, doing the same thing with one hand. Mabel looked at us, then at the amulet, then at Gideon.

"Not really!" She said, grabbing the amulet and causing us to fall. "You were attacking my siblings! What the hell?!"

"Give me my tie back!" Gideon yelled, trying to grab it. Mabel threw it towards us and Dipper caught it, me grabbing one of the bats off the floor.

"Not so powerful now are you?" Dipper said, dangling the amulet from the string. Gideon screamed and ran at us, pushing us backwards. The next thing I knew, there was the sound of shattering glass falling on everything, followed by wind whipping everywhere.

I spun around and saw the ground coming up fast, then looked at Gideon and Dipper. They slapped each other a few times, then looked down and screamed. I saw the journal come out of Dipper's vest and aimed towards it. I grabbed it with one hand, then wrapped my body around it. I looked down again and screamed when I saw how close the ground was. Right before we hit, the greenish glow came back, all of us floating about three feet off the ground.

I looked up and saw Mabel with the amulet and the same glow coming down towards us. She stopped in front of Gideon. "Listen Gideon. It's over. I will never, ever, date you." She took her hand off and we all fell. She then threw the amulet on a stone, breaking it into a million pieces.

"MY POWERS! Oh, this ain't over. This ain't the last you'll see of wittle ol' me!" Gideon said, backing up into the forest.

 **GFF**

"I coulda had it all," Stan said, hanging up a sad clown picture. Where he got that, I had no idea. He turned around and saw how beaten up we were. "What happened to you kids?"

"Gideon," we all said.

"Yeah, the little mutant 'swore vengeance' on the whole family. I guess he's gonna nibble my ankles or something."

"Yeah, how will he destroy us now? Try to guess what number we're thinking of?" Dipper said sarcastically.

"Negative eight! No one would guess a negative number!" Mabel said. I thought for a second, then added;

"He's probably planning on destruction right now!"

 **Gideon's POV**

"'Gideon, I still love you! If not for my family…' 'Look at me, I'm creepy and scare kids…' 'What are you gonna do without your amulet?' You'll see, boy... you'll see…" I said, imitatin' the Pines. I closed the thing that had told me about the amulet; the thing that was going to help me get my revenge on the Pines family: a red book with a gold 6-fingered hand and a number 2.

* * *

 **Thanks for reading. Please review and I'll see you on the 9** **th** **.**


	5. Inconveniencing

**I was so excited to write this chapter. This is my favorite from all the season 1 chapters. I don't really know why I like it I just do. I had a lot of fun writing it. I tried to go a little more off the script for this chapter. Tell me what you think. Please review. Thanks!**

 **Disclaimer: I don't own anything except my OC Willow.**

* * *

 **Dipper's POV (June 22nd** **)**

Mabel, Willow, and I were in the shack. Mabel was sitting on a spinning globe and she was laughing like a moron. Willow was sitting behind the counter looking at a picture of her boyfriend Alex. She had missed him a lot lately even though we had only been in Gravity Falls for about a week. I was looking at a book about ghosts. Now that I have seen so much stuff in Gravity Falls, and read the journal like a million times, the stuff in ghost stories is more believable. But it isn't as interesting as it used to be because I actually lived it, or something close to it. I know that I was going to regret asking what I was about to ask, considering Willow was there, but I asked it anyway.

"Hey guys, do you believe in ghosts?" I asked.

"Let me think, I actually do believe in ghosts. I also love ghosts. How they cause so much trouble with people and scare people and they make life interesting because you don't know when a ghost is going to strike next." Willow said getting an evil look in her eyes. I was stuck on one of the first things she said.

"If you love ghosts then is Alex a ghost?" I asked her jokingly.

"Of course not. Well I don't know. Maybe. No I'm being ridiculous. But then again maybe I'm not. I guess I've never really thought about that. I don't really know." Willow said unsure of herself. I didn't think she would have actually thought about it that much.

"I know that I believe you're both big dorks. Haha." Mabel said, still spinning on the globe. I put my eraser on the globe to make it stop and she fell off. Willow and I both laughed.

Stan came in from outside and called Soos and Wendy over. Soos came over right away, but Wendy came a few seconds later walking really slowly.

"What's up Mr. Pines!" Soos asked getting excited. I hadn't told anyone but one time I saw Soos drop a paper and I read it and it was fanfiction he wrote about Stan. Weirdo.

"I'm heading out. You two are gonna wash the bathrooms, right?" Stan asked them.

"Yes, sir!" Soos said enthusiastically. "Absolutely not!" Wendy said sarcastically, but I knew she wasn't kidding.

"Ha ha! You stay out of trouble." Stan said talking directly to Wendy this time. As soon as Stan left Wendy walked over to a curtain and pulled it open revealing a ladder.

"Hey guys! What's this? A secret ladder to the roof." She said happily.

"Uh, I don't think Mr. Pines would like that." Soos said doubtfully.

"Can we actually go up there?" I asked her ignoring Soos completely.

"Of course we can! Roof time! Roof time!" Wendy said, climbing up the ladder. Willow, Mabel, and I followed her almost immediately. Soos looked out the window and decided to not go up to the roof with us.

Once we were on the roof Mabel, Willow, and I started to look around. Wendy had a lawn chair with an umbrella, a cooler with pit cola, and a bucket of pinecones. Not really sure what the last thing was doing up there but I figured I would find out. "Did you put all this stuff up here?" I asked her.

Instead Willow responded. "No the ghost put it all up here." She said jokingly.

"Alex." I said half joking, half serious.

"I should really call him later." She said not joking at all anymore.

"What's that all…" Wendy said when Mabel interrupted.

"Don't ask." She said.

Wendy just rolled her eyes. "Anyway I may or may not sneak up here during work, all the time, every day." She said, grabbing one of the pine cones and throwing it at a target she had set up on a totem pole. "Yes! Bullseye."

"Cool let me try." I said.

Mabel pushed me and said, "Me first." She grabbed a pinecone and it fell into a bush.

"Nice throw genius." Willow said, crossing her arms.

"You think you can do better." Mabel challenged.

"Yea I do actually." Willow said as she grabbed a pinecone. She threw it and it hit the totem pole about two feet below the target.

"Nice shot for your first time." Wendy said.

"Beginners luck." Mabel mumbled. Willow stepped back to let me throw.

"Your turn, Dipper." She said. I grabbed a pinecone and threw it but it hit a car and the alarm went off. I felt my face get red.

"Jackpot! High five." Wendy said, holding up her hand. "Don't leave me hangin'." I gave her a high five.

A car pulled up and somebody rolled down the window and yelled, "Wendy."

"Oh, it's my friends." She looked at us and asked, "You guys aren't going to tell Stan about this, are you?" I pretended to zip my lips and throw out the key, and she did the same.

"Later, dorks!" She said, jumping onto a tree. It bent down towards the ground and she got in the car.

"Later Wendy! Heh heh heh! Good times!" I said, part to myself. I guess the girls heard me.

"Somebody's in love." Mabel said poking me.

"No I'm not. Right Willow?" I asked as I turned towards Willow.

"Actually I agree with Mabel," She said. "I know when a guy's in love with a girl. Alex used to act all stupid around me before we started going out."

"Ghost." I said.

"That's not what we're talking about." Willow pointed out.

"Yeah we're talking about you being completely in love with Wendy." Mabel said. She was really starting to make me mad.

"Yeah, right! I just think Wendy's cool, okay? It's not like I lie awake at night thinking about her!" I argued. But then I remembered last night when I couldn't sleep because I was thinking about Wendy.

"Uh, oh!" I said not knowing I had said it out loud until Mabel said…

"What?"

"What, nothing, I didn't say anything." I said

"Yeah. Riiigghht." Willow said sarcastically.

 **GFF**

Later that day we were inside the shack. I was holding a clipboard and pretending to count inventory. One of Mabel's favorite songs came on the radio. "Random dance party for no reason." She yelled. Her, Wendy, and Willow started to dance and chant, "Go, go, go." I wrote _I am pretending to write something down._

"Dipper, aren't you gonna get in on this?" Wendy yelled over to me, still dancing

"I don't like to dance." I responded.

"Yeah you do. Remember when mom used to…" Willow started to say when I interrupted her.

"Now is not the time to…" I started to say when Mabel interrupted me.

"Dress him up in a lamb costume and make him do, The Lamby Dance." She finished Willow's sentence, not even paying attention to me.

"NOW IS NOT THE TIME TO TALK ABOUT THE LAMBY DANCE." I whispered- yelled at them so Wendy couldn't hear.

"Lamb costume? Wow, is there like little ears and a tail or…" Wendy started to ask when Mabel held a picture up to her face.

"Dipper would prance around and sing a song about grazing." She said.

"I always thought the lamb head would slowly eat at his head and through his skull and started to eat his brain. That's also why I think he is so stupid." Willow said. Mabel, Wendy, and I looked over at her and gave her a funny look.

She looked around at each of us. "What?" She asked just as Wendy's phone beeped.

"Hey, look at that! Quittin' time! The gang's waitin' for me." Wendy said.

"Wait! Why don't I- or we come with you?"

"Smooth." Willow whispered to me. Luckily Wendy didn't hear.

"Ooh. I don't know. My friends are pretty intense. How old did you guys say you are?" Wendy asked us.

"We're…" Mabel started to say but I interrupted her.

"Thirteen! So, technically a teen." I said.

"All right. I like your moxy, kid! Let me get my stuff." She went into the employee room.

"Since when are we thirteen? Is this a leap year?" Mabel asked.

"No he's lying. And I think I know why." Willow said.

"Come on, guys. This is our chance to hang out with, you know, the cool kids. And Wendy or whatever." I told them.

"I know why to." Mabel said excitedly. "I knew it. You love her." She said.

She started to make me mad so I pointed at the door. "Hey, what's that?" She turned and looked at the door and I flipped her hair over her face.

"Maybe her hair will suffocate her and she won't be able to breath. And then she'll pass out on the floor and die." Willow said as Mabel flipped her hair back in place. The three of us went outside. A blonde guy and a dark-skinned guy were holding a guy with brown hair upside down. Another guy with jet-black hair was holding a jelly bean and a dark-skinned girl was texting on her phone.

The two guys that were holding the other one were chanting, "In the belly! In the belly!" The guy with the jelly bean was about to throw it when another jelly bean came from behind us and hit the upside down kid right in the belly button.

"Wendy!" All of the kids yelled at once.

"Hey guys! These are my pals form work, Mabel, Willow, and Dipper." Wendy pointed to each of us.

"I chewed my gum so it looks like a brain!" Mabel immediately stuck her tongue out to show them.

I rolled my eyes and said, "She's not much for first impressions. Unlike this guy." I pointed to myself. No one said anything. Everyone just gave me a blank look.

"I seriously think your both possessed by a demon." Willow said quietly, but everyone heard her anyway.

The black haired guy said, "I like her." As he pointed at Willow. "Are you like babysitting the other two or-"

"Come on Robbie." Wendy said, pointing at everyone as she told us their names. She pointed at the blonde guy then the dark skinned one. "This is Lee and Nate." She said as they punched each other and laughed. She pointed to the girl who was texting. "Tambry." She said hey without even looking up from her phone. She pointed to the one Lee and Nate were holding upside down. "Thompson, who once ate a run over waffle for 50 cents."

"Don't tell them that." He said. I figured out he was probably the dumb one.

She pointed to the one that was about to throw his jelly bean. "And Robbie. You can probably figure him out.

"Yeah, I'm the guy who spray- painted the water tower." He said as he pointed to the water tower with red spray paint on it.

"Oh, you mean the big muffin." I said.

"It's a giant explosion." Robbie said flatly.

Everyone looked up at the water tower. "Kinda does look like a muffin!" Lee said and everyone started laughing. Robbie glared at me.

"Let's hurry up, guys. I got big plans for tonight." Wendy said. Everyone went to get in the car. There were three empty seats in the very back so Willow got in first, then me, then Mabel.

"Okay just, before we go, my mom said you guys aren't allowed to punch the roof anymore so…" Thompson said.

Everyone started chanting "Thompson! Thompson! Thompson," and punching the roof. I had a pen in my hand and Willow grabbed it. She started writing on the seat in front of her.

She wrote 'This was written by a demon. The demon that will kill you all. The one with one eye. The one that's a triangle.' I knew she got the idea from something that was in the journal about a triangular demon with one eye.

"Why would you write that?" Mabel asked Willow as she took the pen. Someone had written you stink on her door. She crossed it out and wrote 'You look nice today.'

"Mabel, please." I said.

"What? Am I embarrassing you in front of your new GIRLFRI…" I put my hand over her mouth before she could finish. A few seconds later, I pulled it away.

"Did you just lick my hand?" I asked, and she nodded. We drove for another half hour then Thompson stopped the car. We got out and I saw a tall fence around a small convince store called Dusk 2 Dawn. We walked right up to the fence.

"There it is, fellas! The condemned Dusk 2 Dawn." Wendy said.

"Cool!" Lee and Nate said at the same time.

"Why'd they shut it down? Was it like a health code violation or…" I asked.

"TRY MURDER." Nate said.

"I heard about this. About 15 years ago the owners died and they've been haunting the store ever since. Making strange noises, things going missing. The new owner couldn't deal with it anymore so he reported it and the store got condemned." Willow said. Robbie gave her a once-over and smiled.

"All I know some people died in there, and the place has been hunted ever since." Lee said.

"This town has such a colorful history." Mabel said.

"Are you guys serious?" I asked ignoring Mabel.

"Yeah? We're all gonna die! Chill out man! It's not as bad as it looks." Wendy said as she punched me in the arm.

Everyone started climbing up the fence. I was on top of the fence when only me and Lee were left. Everyone else had gotten up easily and was already on the other side.

"Come on Dipper!" Wendy said.

"I just got to get a foothold…" I said

"Dude, your sister did it." Robbie called up. I knew he was talking about Mabel not Willow. I wasn't that surprised. Willow was always good with climbing and heights, so she practically flew over the fence. Mabel had been doing grappling hook training ever since she got it, so it wasn't that hard for her. It wasn't that I was scared, but I'm not good with jumping from high places and I didn't want to make a fool of myself, especially in front of Wendy.

"You know what." Lee said as he picked me up and threw me off the fence. "Sorry dude." He said as he jumped down.

When Lee stood up Nate said "Good job throwing the kid off the fence genius!"

"Your mom's a genius." Lee said. We all started walking to the store. When we got there Wendy looked throw the window.

"Wow! This place is amazing!" Wendy said as Robbie started to try and open the door. Just like I expected, it didn't budge.

"I think it's stuck." Robbie said.

"Let me take a crack at it." I said.

"Oh yeah. I can't get in, but I'm sure Junior here is gonna break it down like Hercules." Robbie said.

"Come on leave him alone. He's just a little kid." Wendy said.

I didn't like it when Wendy called me a little kid, and I was still mad about the fence incident, so I knew I had to get us all in somehow. I saw a dumpster so I walked to it and climbed on top. I climbed up to the roof from the dumpster. I could hear everyone yelling but I didn't pay any attention. I saw a metal thing leading to the air ducts. There was a metal grate in front of it. I punched it a few times, but when that didn't work I body slammed it and it came off. I slid down into the air ducts and landed on the ground. I got up after a few seconds and went to unlock the door.

Everyone walked in, complementing me on what I did. Nate even called me Dr. Funtimes. Wendy walked in and said, "Nice work," punching my arm. Willow was the last one so I went in behind her.

"Do you guys really think it's haunted?" Thompson asked.

"Na! Thompson are you kidding me?" Nate said.

"Whoa man, it's even creepier than I imagined!" Wendy said.

I saw Mabel wipe the dust off the change slot of a game. For some reason she licked the dust off her finger. "Yep. It's dust." She mumbled. I saw a newspaper and grabbed it, then wiped the dust off.

"Hey dude, where do you this they keep the dead bodies?" Lee said to Nate.

Nate punched Less as he said. "Shut up, man!" I saw Wendy start to look around. I might have been watching her because I have a slight crush on her. But I never would admit that to Willow and Mabel.

"Guys, check it out! You think these still work." Wendy said as she pointed to a light switch. She flipped them and all the lights, and games, came on. Everyone started to look around.

"So what do we do now?" I asked out loud.

"Anything we want." Wendy answered me.

Everyone started throwing old, rotten food at each other but after a while we got bored with that and we started to pop mints into Pit Cola bottles. Mabel got up and went around the shelf.

"Oh my Gosh! Smile Dip! I thought this stuff was banned in America!" She said.

"Maybe they had a good reason." I said. A balloon full of food hit me in the back and I ran away. I saw a freezer with ice pops so I went and grabbed one. Wendy came up behind me and she grabbed one too. We climbed up on one of the shelfs.

"Hey come here we got it ready." Nate yelled.

"Whatever it is I'll do it." Thompson said as he ran over and Robbie followed right behind him. Robbie, Nate, and Lee started stuffing ice into Thompson's pants.

Wendy started laughing. "Dipper, this night is like legendary!" Wendy said.

"Really?" I turned to her and asked.

"Just look around. The guys are bonding." I looked at Robbie, Nate, and Lee. They were still stuffing ice in Thompson's pants. "I've never even seen Tambry look up from her phone this long." I looked at Tambry. She looked up from her phone for about a second, then started texting again. "And your sister seems to be going nuts for that smile dip." Wendy finished.

"Ugh, maybe I've had too much. What do you think?" Mabel said as she turned to her side. I didn't know who she was talking to.

"Where's Willow?" Wendy asked.

"She just started talking to Robbie." I answered, pointing behind one of the shelves.

"Do you want to do something sometime. You know alone?" I heard Robbie ask Willow.

"I have a boyfriend." Willow said, walking into sight again.

"Oh, whatever." Robbie said, hitting himself in the head. Wendy and I started laughing.

"You know Dipper, I wasn't sure if you could hang out with our crew at first, but you're surprisingly mature for your age." Wendy said.

"Yes I am." I said. It probably didn't prove my point when I accidently smeared ice cream on my face because I was staring at Wendy.

"Hey guys! We need more ice!" Lee said.

"I'm on it!" I said as I climbed down the shelf.

"I'll come with you." Willow said. "I need a break from Robbie flirting with me." She whispered to me.

We walked over to the freezer. I opened the door and grabbed a bag of ice. I looked up and saw a pink and blue monster that resembled an octopus. "Aah!" I screamed.

"What?" Willow asked me.

"You didn't see that? You were looking right at it." I said to her.

"See what?" She asked.

"That monster in the freezer." I said.

"What was that? I thought I heard some lady screaming back here." Lee said as he came up to us. Everyone else was following him.

"Dipper thought he saw…" Willow started to say but I put my hand over her mouth.

"Uh, um, uh… hey look? Dancy Pants Revolution! The game that tricks people into exercising." Everyone started walking over to it. Thompson got on first.

Everyone started chanting "Thompson! Thompson!"

"Wow. He's really terrible at this." Wendy said to me.

"Yeah." I said as I looked up at the door. In our reflection everyone's body was turned into a skeleton.

"We'll be right back." I said as I grabbed Willow. We walked behind the shelf to where no one could hear us.

"You didn't just see that?" I asked her.

"See what?" She asked.

"Our reflection in the door."

"No. Dipper I think your hallucinating because your so blinded by Wendy. I thought I was the creepy one."

"I'm not hallucinating."

"I going back with everyone else." Willow said as she walked away. I started pacing around. I looked up and saw a pay phone. I put change in and dialed the Mystery Shack's number.

"Come on Grunkle Stan, pick up." I said out loud. "What is he doing?" Since Grunkle Stan was taking too long to answer, I ditched the phone and went to go find Mabel. I saw her laying in front of the smile dip stand.

"Mabel, I need your advice. We're hanging out in a haunted convenience store. I already tried asking Willow but she thought I was hallucinating, and if I say anything about it to any of the other guys they'll just think I'm a scared little kid or something." Mabel didn't say anything and I looked over at her. "Mabel?" She still didn't say anything.

I went over to her and started shaking her. "Mabel! How many of these did you eat?" I asked her.

"Beleven… teen…" She mumbled. I let go of her.

"Oh man. Oh man, oh man, oh man." I decided to go back with the gang and just act like nothing ever happened. Robbie had started scratching off a bunch of old scratch off tickets. He dropped the coin and went to go pick it up.

"Whoa guys, you might wanna see this." He called. Everyone except Mabel went to go see what Robbie wanted to show us. It was tape outlines of two bodies.

"Then the rumors are true." Lee said.

"Dude, I dare you to lie down in it." Robbie said as he turned to Lee.

"Good idea." He turned to Nate and said "Go lie down in it."

"I'm a dead body, look!" Nate said as he walked over to the outlines.

"Wait." I said. "Maybe let's not do that."

"This guy's scared!" Lee said.

"All I'm saying is, why tempt the fates? I mean… What if this place really is… haunted?" I said. All of the teens started booing including Willow. I glared at Willow and she just shrugged.

"Yeah, take it down a notch, Captain Buzzkill." Robbie said.

"I thought I was Dr. Funtimes." I said.

"Well, you're acting like Captain Buzzkill! Right?" Robbie said. I looked at Lee, Tambry, and Nate and they all nodded.

I looked at Willow and she said "Definitely."

"Yeah, little bit." Wendy said.

Tambry started texting. "Status update: trapped in store with insane 9-year old." She said. I was starting to get mad. I had to prove to them I could hang out with them so I decided to lay down in one of them.

"I'm not a 9-year old. I'm 13! Technically a teen!" I said as I lied down on one of them.

"Don't…" I heard Willow say but them she stopped as the tape started to glow. I didn't know what was going on so I got up. The lights went out and Tambry looked up. She started to dissolve or something, and dropped her phone. I picked up the phone and read from the screen.

"Status update: AAAAUUUUUGGGGGGHHHHH!" I said. One of the security camera's flashed on and Tambry was on the screen.

"AAAAAAAAAAAH!" She screamed, hitting the screen from the inside. All of us screamed, and Tambry screamed again.

Wendy started banging on the screen and saying, "Tambry, Tambry."

"Can you hear us?" I yelled. She started looking around.

"What are we supposed to do?" Willow asked.

"I don't know." Lee yelled.

"Let's just go already." Robbie said. We started running to the door. Wendy looked back at Thompson who was still playing Dancy Pants Revolution.

"Thompson, come on! Let's get out of here!" Wendy yelled.

"Wait. I've almost got the high score." He said as he started dissolving. After a second he reappeared in the game.

"Aaaauuuugggghhhh!" Willow screamed. That was the first time I've ever seen her get scared.

"Thompson!" Wendy yelled again

"Forget them! Let's go!" Robbie said. We started running to the open door. It somehow closed on its own. Wendy tried to open it.

"It's locked!" She said after a few seconds.

"OUTTA MY WAY!" Robbie yelled, grabbing a cash register and throwing it at the door. It dissolved and flew through the door. A green light exploded and Robbie disappeared. I didn't know where he went.

"Everybody, wait! Whatever's doing this has to have some kind of reason!" I said as I opened the journal. "Maybe if we can figure out what it is, they'll let us out of here!"

"Yeah that makes a lot of sense." Nate said.

"Yeah right I'm sure the ghost just wants to talk about his feelings!" Lee said sarcastically, and dissolved and reappeared on the front of a cereal box.

"Lee! Okay, okay… I'm with you kid! 100% man!" Nate said.

Mabel flied up from behind the counter. "Welcome." Mabel said in a really deep voice. Nate, Wendy, Willow and I screamed.

"They got Mabel!" I said.

"Welcome to your graves, young trespassers." Mabel said, still in the deep voice.

"We're super sorry for hanging out in your store." Wendy said. I looked over at Willow and she was shaking like crazy. I guess since it was her first time being scared, it was even more messed up for her.

"Yeah, can we just go now and leave forever?" I asked.

"Well, okay. You're free to go." Mabel said as the doors opened. "But before you leave, hot dogs are now half off. I know it might be crazy, but you gotta try these dogs." Mabel continued. Nate and Willow screamed and ran to the door but it closed just before they were able to get out.

"Just kidding about the hot dog sale." Mabel said.

"Just let us out of here already!" Nate said, Willow still pounding on the door.

"I don't like your tone." Mabel said and Nate dissolved, and reappeared as a hot dog in the cooking thing.

"It begins." Mabel said as she started making everything float up to the ceiling, including us. We floated up and Willow, who was not ready for it, hit her head on the ceiling. It looked like she blacked out but a second later she started floating in midair over to Mabel.

"Welcome to your home for all eternity." Willow said in a high pitched old lady voice.

"What do we do?" Wendy asked.

"Quick in there!" I said, pointing to an open ice machine. We went inside and closed the door behind us.

"What do they want from us?" Wendy asked when we were inside with the door closed.

"Revenge, I guess?" I said.

"What did we do wrong?"

"Okay, let's try to figure out the pattern here. Why was each person taken? Tambry was texting, Thompson was playing a video game, Lee was being sarcastic; it doesn't make any sense!" I said, trying to decide what was the same in each of them.

"Yeah! I mean, those are all just normal teenage things." Wendy said.

"Wendy say that last part again."

"Normal teenage things?"

"Of course! Stay here until I get back." I said, opening the door and crawling out of the ice machine. Wendy said something but I couldn't hear her.

"Hey ghost!" standing up behind the ghosts in the middle of the snacknado.

Willow and Mabel's neck turned around in a weird way and then the rest of their bodies turned too.

"I've got something to tell you! I'm not a teenager!" I yelled. A few seconds later everything fell to the celling and the two ghosts who had been possessing Willow and Mabel appeared. They didn't look evil. They looked like your normal 70 something grandparents.

"Why didn't you say so?" The guy said, him and the girl dropping Mabel and Willow into a pile of candy. Their nametags said Pa and Ma, so I decided to call them that.

"How old did you say you were?" Pa asked.

"I'm… I'm twelve, technically not a teen." I said reluctantly as I looked over at Wendy.

"When we were alive, teenagers were a scourge on our store." Ma said.

"Always sassafrassin' customers with their boomy boxes and disrespectful short pants!" Pa continued.

"So we decided to ban them. But they retaliated with this new fangled rap music. The lyrics were so hateful!"

"It was so shocking, we were stricken down with double heart attacks."

"That's why we hate teenagers so much."

"But they're my friends, isn't there anything I can do to, help them?" I asked.

"There is one thing. Do you know any funny little dances?" Pa asked.

The only dance I knew was the Lamby Dance, but I didn't want to do it in front of Wendy. "Uh… Is there anything else I can do?" I asked. Pa lit himself on fire.

"NOOOO." He yelled.

"Okay! Well I do know the Lamby Lamby Dance. Bu- but I can't really do it without a lamb costume." I said as Pa went back to his normal form. He snapped his fingers and I was somehow in a lamb costume.

"Oh, well there it is." I said as I took a deep breath. "Weeellllll… Who wants a Lamby Lamby? I do! I do! So go up and greet your Mammy mammy mammy! Hi there! Hi there! So march march march around the daisies… Don't don't don't you forget about the babies." I sang, ending with my finger pointing to my face and winking.

"That was so fine, girly dancin' boy! Your friends are free." Pa said, snapping again and putting me back in my normal clothes.

"Well I don't think you have to worry about us coming back, so…" I said as Ma and Pa disappeared and gravity came back on. Everything landed on the floor and everyone who had been captured was in one big pile. Mabel and Willow were by the smile dip stand. Mabel was holding her stomach and Willow was rubbing her head.

"I'm never gonna eat or do anything ever again." Mabel said as I helped Willow stand up.

I saw another packet of smile dip and handed it to Mabel, saying, "Hey! There's still some left!"

Mabel stood up and smacked it out of my hand as she yelled "EVIL."

I heard Lee ask Wendy, "What happened after everything went crazy?"

"You are not going to believe it! The ghosts appeared, and Dipper had to…" She stopped as she looked over at me. "Dipper had to grab a bat and start beating ghosts down left and right. The ghost got all scared, and ran away like a couple of little girls, it was insane!" She said.

"Alright! Dr. Funtimes!" Nate said.

Wendy turned to me and zipped her lips, and I zipped mine too. Willow saw us and gave me a questioning look. We all went outside and got into the van except for Wendy and I, most of them passing out instantly. "Well I'm probably scarred for life." She said

"Yeah that was pretty crazy." I said.

"I think I'll go stare at a wall for a while and RETHINK EVERYTHING. Hey, next time we hang out let's stay at the Shack. Okay?" She said.

"Yeah. Next time." I said happily, getting in the car. We had drove the 45 minutes back to the shack. We got there and were walking to the door when the TV flew out the window and almost hit us, glass going everywhere.

"Uh, couldn't find the remote." Stan said, putting his head out of the now broken window. Honestly, that wasn't the weirdest thing that had happened to us since we had come to Gravity Falls and I knew, with over two months until we left, there were weirder things to come.

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 **Thanks so much for reading and please remember to review, follow and fav my story.**


	6. Double Dipper

**I had a lot of fun adding Alex into this episode. This is the longest chapter yet. I am DEFINITLEY going to add in Alex more. The next time will be Time Traveler's Pig, but I'm not telling you the rest. Please tell me what you think of Alex and what you want his and Willow's ship name to be. Thank you to everyone who has followed, faved and reviewed my story so far.**

 **Disclaimer: I don't own anything except for my OC's Willow and Alex. Dead man Dennis is based off of Dennis from the horror book Trick or Treat.**

* * *

 **Willow's POV (June 24th)**

Dipper, Mabel, Wendy, Soos and I were in the shack getting ready for the party Stan was throwing. He was trying to prove the shack was good for teens. I thought it was kind of stupid but it was a party, so I was having fun with it.

"Oh no, I don't feel so good I-BBBBBLLLLLAAA." Dipper said as he sprayed Mabel with Silly String, pretending to throw up.

"Oh, Grunkle Stan what did you feed us? BBBBBLLLLLAAAAA." Mabel said as she shot some at Dipper and he shot back.

"Don't swallow it. It might turn you into dead man Dennis. Everyone thinks he's so cool and he dates someone and kills them when they least expect it. One time he killed a girl and then he went to sit on a bridge and it broke and he died with his murder knife. That's why they call him dead man Dennis." I said.

Dipper and Mabel both looked at me funny and sprayed me. I grabbed my own can and started spraying them. Wendy walked over.

"Guys stop! Something terrible just happened. BBBBBLLLLAAAAA." Wendy said as she sprayed all of us. We all laughed and Mabel threw confetti in the air.

"Comedy gold." She said.

Stan grabbed the cans of Silly Spray and the confetti. "Alright! Party supplies are now off-limits."

"BOOO." We all said at once.

"Mr. Pines, whose birthday is it again?" Soos asked.

"Nobody's. Thought this might be a good way to get kids to spend money at the Shack. The young people of this town want fun. I'll smother 'em with fun!" Stan said, almost as creepily as me.

"Maybe comments like that are why kids don't come to the Shack." Dipper said.

"No that's a completely normal comment." I said. For me it's true at least.

"See." He said, handing some flyers to Dipper. "How about you kids make yourself useful and copy these flyers."

"Oh boy, a trip to the copier store!" Mabel said. I rolled my eyes. I'd been to the copier store before. Three words. Not that exiting.

"Calendars, mugs, t- shirts, and more! They got it all at the copier store! That's not their slogan, I just really feel that way about the copier store." Soos added.

"Save the trouble. You know the old copier in my office? I finally fixed the old girl up! Good as new!" Stan said.

Dipper, Mabel and I went to Stan's office and found the copier. Apparently, Stan's definition of 'new' is way different from ours. Moths even flew out from under the tarp that was over it. I was surprised it was still in one piece. "Does it even work?" I asked as Dipper lifted up the lid. He pressed a button and put his arm down on the machine. It turned on and scanned his arm, then the copy came out.

"Success!" Mabel said, holding up the paper. She dropped it when it started shaking. The picture of his arm came out of the paper and started moving towards us. I took the drink I was holding and splashed it on the paper, making it disintegrate. I looked at Mabel and Dipper, and they were just as shocked as I was. "Guys, I think this copier can copy human beings!"

 **Dipper's POV**

The copier worked fine on normal paper, so we were able to make the copies easily. All of us, Wendy, Soos, the girls and I, were standing in a line, Stan in front of us with a clipboard. He was going through what each of us would be doing tonight.

"Alright party people…and Dipper," He said, ignoring my glare. "Let's talk business. Soos, because you'll work for free, and you begged, I'm letting you be DJ."

"You won't regret it Mr. Pines. I got the book that teaches me how to DJ R-R-Right!" Soos said, holding up the book.

"Not encouraging," Stan said, turning to Willow. "Willow, you're in charge of concessions. Dollar for drinks, snacks for two."

"No prob. Permission to tackle if they try to steal?" Willow asked.

"Granted. Wendy, you and Mabel will work at the ticket stand outside." Wendy nodded, but Mabel was not happy about the arrangement.

"Grunkle Stan, come on! This party is my chance to make new friends!" I started thinking and realized unless Willow needed help with the food, which she wouldn't, there wouldn't be anything for me to do. And since I was going to try to flirt with Wendy anyway…

"I could work with Wendy." I said, trying to sound normal.

"You realize if you do you gotta commit to staying at the ticket stand with Wendy, no getting out of it, just the two of you alone, all night." Stan said. I looked over at Wendy squirting silly spray into Soos' belly button.

"I promise." I said smiling to myself.

 **GFF**

I was up in my room putting on a bow tie when Mabel came in and looked at me.

"Uh, uh, I could work the counter with you Wendy! Let's kiss!" Mabel said mocking me.

"Yeah, yeah. Laugh all you want, but I devised a plan to make sure my night with Wendy goes perfect." I said.

Willow came in and said, "I was stalking you two from behind the door, and this plan you came up with is way to over complicated." I would have yelled at her but I was used to it.

"Over complicated. Let me just show you." I said as I unfolded a piece of paper at least three times. "Step 1: Getting to know each other with playful banter. Banter is like talking but smarter." I said.

"That sounds like a dumb idea for poopheads." Mabel said. I looked over at Willow.

"I agree with her for once." Willow said and Mabel glared at her.

"Yeah see? This isn't banter. This is what I want to avoid with Wendy. The final step is to ask her to dance. If I follow steps 1 through 11, nothing can get in my way!" I said.

"Dipper you're the one getting in your way." Mabel said.

"Why can't you just walk up and talk to her like a normal person?" Willow said.

"Step 9." I said as I pointed to step 9.

"You have to have a step to talk to her." Willow said, rolling her eyes.

"Yes I do." I said later realizing that I wasn't helping my case.

 **GFF**

Wendy and I were working at the ticket station. It was a pretty good turn out so I hadn't been able to put my plan in motion yet. A few minutes after we opened, it slowed down a bit. There were still plenty of people in line, but talking wouldn't get in the way too much now.

"Step 1: Casual banter," I said to myself. "SO HERE'S A CASUAL QUESTION!" I said, way too loud. I cleared my throat and tried again. "What's your favorite type of snack food?"

"Oh man! I can't just pick one!" Wendy said. I was expecting her to say something easy, but…

"No way! Mine too!" I said, realizing her response too late.

"Wait what?"

"I mean… I mean…" I said as I stuffed a bunch of popcorn in my mouth. I looked at the list, hiding it from Wendy. "New topic new topic." I said quietly to myself.

"Smooooooth Brainiac." Someone from behind the counter said. I looked up from the list. I stared at him for a few seconds thinking my mind was playing tricks on me. No, it wasn't. Standing before me was Alex Roberts. Willow's boyfriend.

"Alex, what are you doing here?" I asked. Willow hadn't mentioned anything about him coming to visit. I had no problem with Alex; he was a cool guy and he made Willow happy. I just wasn't expecting him to come.

"My dad got transferred to Seattle. We're not leaving for a couple of weeks but we have family in Spokane. They're having a party to celebrate us being closer to them. We needed a place to stop so I suggested here and when I heard about the party I asked to come to see Willow." He said. His dad was in the Navy. Their family had stayed near us for a few years. That was one of the main things I liked about him. When we first started hanging out, he made it very clear that he would most likely leave and to not get to close. He and Willow had broken up once for like two days because he was worried about what would happen if he left. I knew Willow would be upset once she found out.

"Willow will be upset." I said, pulling him behind the table.

"I know. And don't tell her. I have to do it," He said, the look on his face making it clear that as much as he wanted to do it, he didn't want to do it even more.

"Who is this?" Wendy asked me.

"Right, sorry. Alex this is Wendy, my… friend from work. Wendy this is Alex, Willow's boyfriend." I said.

"Why is she so creepy?" Wendy asked, shaking his hand.

"I don't know but I like it." Alex said. That was another thing I liked about him; he liked Willow for who she was. Wendy nodded and went back to selling tickets.

"You like her don't you?" Alex asked, whispering so she wouldn't hear.

"You can tell?"

"Pretty much everyone can. Do you want a little of advice?" He asked and I nodded. "Don't mess up." I rolled my eyes. He always said that. "Where's Willow?" He asked.

"Inside selling snacks. Try and steal something. Don't ask why just do it." I said knowing she would tackle him.

"Oooookaay?" He said confused, but I knew he would do it anyway. He opened the door and went in the shack, waving before the door closed. I went back to helping Wendy, trying to come up with a new plan for her and how I would prevent Willow from exploding when she found out.

 **Willow's POV**

"Thanks for your money!" I said happily. I just sold a guy 6 snacks and made 12 more dollars. That brought the total to around 200.

I watched Mabel walk by and sit on the couch next to a girl with a lizard on her shoulder. She took a drink of water, put it down and noticed the lizard.

"Wow! You've got an animal on your body! I'm Mabel." She said to the lizard girl.

"HI, I'm Grenda." The girl said. She had a deep voice. She pointed at a girl sitting next to her. "This is Candy." Grenda said as Candy sat down. When she waved, I noticed there were forks on her fingers.

"Why do you have forks taped to your fingers?" Mabel asked her. Candy stuck her hand into Grenda's bowl of popcorn. When she pulled it back out there was a piece of popcorn on each of the forks.

"Improvement of human being." Candy said in a… Korean accent? I thought she would be perfect for Dipper.

"I've found my people!" Mabel said. She pulled Candy and Grenda onto the dance floor as I went back to selling snacks. I saw someone's hand grab two brownies off the table. He started to walk away and I could only see his back.

"You have to pay for that." I called after him. He stopped walking for a second and then started walking again. I wouldn't have worried about it but I knew he had heard me and one of the things I hate is when people pretend to not have heard something. I started running after him and when I caught up I tackled him because Grunkle Stan said I could. It drew some attention, but I was more focused on the guy. He was on the floor, my knee in the small of his back and his arm pulled behind him. He was face down so I couldn't see what he looked like. I did see that he had shaggy red-brown hair and the brownies he took had been smashed. "Why did you take those?" I asked.

He punched his free fist into my elbow, making me fall on my side. "Brainiac told me to," he said, pulling me to my feet and spinning me. I lost my balance and almost fell, but he wrapped his arm around my waist, kissing me. "Surprise Bullseye," he said, pulling back, a huge smile on his face.

"Alex…?" I said, standing up, staring at him. He just kept smiling. He opened his arms, his grin growing impossibly bigger. "Alex! What are…" I trailed off and ran into his arms. He picked me up and spun me around a few times then put me down, us kissing each other again.

"Willow, what's going… never mind," Mabel said, Candy and Grenda behind her. When she realized Alex was there, she turned around and led Candy and Grenda away. "Okay everyone, show's over! Leave the lovebirds alone!" She called. Everyone started dancing again, a few glancing at us but not saying anything.

"Alex, why are… how did… what are you doing here?" I said, a million things going through my head.

"My… my family is going to Spokane for a… family reunion. We stopped here for the night and when I heard about the party… surprise!" he said, following me back to the concession stand.

"I can't believe you're here. Why didn't you tell me?"

"I didn't know about the party until today and I wanted to surprise you."

"But still, I called you a few days ago and you didn't mention anything about the reunion. You could have at least told me you were coming this way."

"Well… actually…"

"Remember dudes, whoever party hardies, wait what? Whoever party hardies will get the party crown!" Soos said over the speakers.

"Let's go check that out," Alex said, pulling me onto the dance floor, what he was about to say temporarily forgotten.

 **Mabel's POV**

"I've found my people!" I said, pulling Candy and Grenda onto the dance floor. We had danced for a few minutes when people started making a circle on the other side of the room. I went through the people and saw Willow kissing some guy. "Willow, what's going…" I said, but she and the guy pulled apart and I was able to see that it was just Alex. "Never mind," I finished, smiling at how cute they were together. "Okay everyone, show's over! Leave the lovebirds alone!" I yelled, getting everyone back on track.

"What was that about? Who were those two?" Candy asked me when I got back to them.

"The girl is my sister Willow. The boy selling tickets outside is my brother Dipper. We're triplets. Anyway, the guy my sister was with is her boyfriend Alex. He lives in Piedmont, California, where we're from." I explained. They looked at each other in an I-think-he's-cute way. "Don't even think about it. They've been together for almost a year. If anyone can make it, it's them." They nodded and we all went back to dancing.

"Remember dudes, whoever party hardies, wait what? Whoever party hardies will get the party crown! Most applause at the end of the night wins!" Soos said over the speakers. A blond girl in a purple outfit walked up to him and held out her hand.

"Party crown? I'll take that, thank you very much!" She said, arrogance clear in her voice.

"Who's that?" I asked.

"The most popular girl in town, Pacifica Northwest," Candy replied.

"Seriously? That's bad," I said. What kind of parents would name their kid that?

"I always feel bad about myself around her," Grenda added, kind of depressed.

"I can't just give you the crown. It's a competition thing," Soos said, keeping the crown away from her. Pacifica just laughed and grabbed the microphone.

"Honestly, who's gonna compete against me? Fork girl? Lizard lady?" She said, laughing again, her friends laughing with her.

"Our kind isn't welcome here!" Candy said, hugging Grenda. I knew I had to compete against Pacifica and bring her down to normal level. I don't care if you think you're 'all that' but you can't purposefully make people feel bad about themselves. I walked over to the table and shut Soos' computer.

"I'll compete! I'm Mabel," I said, holding my hand out to Pacifica.

"That sounds like a fat old lady's name," she said, not taking my hand.

"I'll take that as a complement!"

"May the better partier win," She said, walking away.

"Nice meeting you!" I called after her. Then I turned to Candy and Grenda. "She's going down."

 **Dipper's POV**

"LET THE BATTLE FOR THE PARTY CROWN BEGIN! Mabel comes out strong! Watch out Pacifica!" I heard Soos say from inside. Wendy got up and looked through the window.

"The party's getting nuts. I gotta get in there! Cover for me?" She asked, turning around.

"Umm… well I-" I started to say.

"Thanks man!" She said, running inside. I turned the sign on the table from open to closed. There were still people in line.

"I'll be back shortly!" I said to them. "I'm sure Stan won't mind if I'm gone a few minutes." I said, starting to go inside. Before I had gone a few steps, someone grabbed my collar and pulled me back.

"What are you doing kid?" Stan said, putting me down. "These suckers aren't gonna rip themselves off. You promised, remember?"

"I…I did?" I asked, trying to get away with it. Stan pulled out a recorder and hit play. It had my voice saying 'I promise' before it ended. Stan put it back in his pocket then walked away. I sat down at the stand and put the sign on open again. I started taking people's money, trying to figure out how I could be in two places at once. I looked at the flyers we had made, and got an idea.

"I need to use the bathroom, but I'll be right back," I said, running inside before anyone could stop me. Instead of going to the bathroom, I went to Stan's office and hopped onto the copier. I reached behind me and hit the button, the green light scanning me. When it was done I turned over and saw my clone come off the paper. "Whoa! I have a really big head."

I got off the copier and stood in front of my clone, both of us staring at each other. It was a really close image. The only difference (other than him being paler) was instead of a pine tree on his hat, it was just white space. "So, uh…" we both said, then stopped. "Sorry, you first. Stop copying me!" We both laughed, but he hit his funny bone on Stan's desk.

I took a marker out of my vest and wrote 2 in the white space on his hat. "I will call you, Number 2." I said, putting the marker back.

"Definitely not," he said, adjusting his hat. "You know what name I've always wanted?"

"Tyrone?" We said, looking at each other again. "Okay Tyrone. Let's get down to business. I'm thinking, you cover me at the ticket stand, while I ask Wendy to dance."

"I know the plan buddy," he replied, both of us taking my plan out of our vest. I looked at him and realized something I hadn't thought of before.

"Hey, we're not gonna get jealous and turn on each other like the clones in the movies, are we?" I asked, taking a step back.

"Dipper, please. This is you you're taking about. Plus, hey!" he said, snapping. "You can always just disintegrate me with water."

"Yeah… Yeah!" We said, me glad there was an easy way out of this if it went south. We left Stan's office, me actually going to the bathroom, Tyrone going upstairs to get a walkie talkie. After I was done, I went to the attic to get the other one then went onto the dance floor. I looked out the window and saw Tyrone selling tickets. There weren't that many people left in line, but a few stragglers were coming up. Tyrone and I gave each other a thumbs up, then I went over to Wendy.

"Great news, Wendy. I got someone to cover the ticket stand for me!" I said, dancing up to her.

"That's awesome. You can hang with me and Robbie," she said. Damn it, Robbie was here. That's just great. Now I have to deal with him and Wendy. "Robbie, you remember Dipper from the convenience store?"

"No," he said, not even looking at me.

"Yes you do. You were flirting with my sister," I said, calling him out.

"Oh yeah. She here?" He asked.

"Yeah, and so is her boyfriend. Have fun with that," I said.

"Oh, cool. Hey Wendy, check out my guitar," He said, playing his guitar. Wendy was impressed, to say the least. Before I could do anything my walkie talkie crackled. I grabbed it and turned around.

"Hey buddy. It's me, I mean you, I mean… The point is, we have to get rid of Robbie if you want to dance with Wendy," Tyrone said from the other side.

"I know. You thinking anything?" I asked. Before we could think of anything, Wendy yelled towards me.

"Hey Dipper, we're gonna go sit on the couch! Meet us when you're done!" She said, leading Robbie away.

"Cool, I'll be there soon," I said, then turned back to the walkie talkie. "They're sitting on the couch! We gotta think of something quick!" I looked around and saw Robbie's bike. Why he brought it inside, I had no idea, but it would work. "I got an idea!"

"I got the same one. But we're gonna need some help. I'll be there in a minute," Tyrone said, ending our conversation. I ran into Stan's office and hopped on the copier again, making another clone. Tyrone came in just as the clone came to life.

"So what's my part of the plan?" He asked, letting me write 3 on his hat.

"Tyrone is gonna make sure no one gets in the way, I'm gonna dance with Wendy, and stealing Robbie's bike is where you come in," I told him.

"But what if Robbie catches me? I'll be all alone!" He said, scared. I nodded and started to make another clone. Unfortunately, the machine jammed.

"Uh-oh," Tyrone said, taking the paper out of the machine. When the clone came to life, it's head was messed up the most, so much so that it couldn't talk right.

"You're not gonna make me pair up with him, are you?" 3 asked, turning away from Paper Jam.

"Don't be rude," Tyrone said, comforting Paper Jam. I laid down in the copier again and hit the button.

"Okay, one more clone," I said, hoping the bad feeling I had was just nerves about Wendy, not about a clone revolution.

 **Mabel's POV**

"Always means forever. ALWAAAAAYYYSS!" Pacifica sang, shattering a cup on the last note.

"Pacifica pulls ahead!" Soos said as Pacifica walked over to me and gave me the mic.

"Try and top that! Oh, and Grenda, you sound like a pro wrestler," she said, walking away.

"I WANNA PUT HER IN A HEADLOCK AND MAKE HER FEEL PAIN!" Grenda yelled.

"It's not over 'til it's over! Soos!" I yelled, running on stage. "Give me the 80s-ist, crown pleasing-ist, rock battle-y-ist song you got!" He hit a few buttons and the music for Don't Start Un-Believing came on. "Perfect. Don't start un-believing! Never don't not feel your feelings! NOW I'M GONNA DO A FLIP!" I said, instead doing a face plant. Before I blacked, I yelled to the crowd, "That was for YOU guys!"

 **Willow's POV**

"That was for YOU guys!" Mabel yelled from the floor.

"She's gonna be out for a while," I whispered to Alex. He just smiled and took my hands.

"Hey, Willow, I have to tell you something," He said, regret in his face. I knew something was wrong right away. He NEVER called me Willow. It was always either Bullseye (inside joke from archery practice) or Will.

"Okay, what is it?" I asked, squeezing his hands, our signal for 'it's okay.'

"It's… um… It's just… I… My dad-"

"Hey dudes, would the owner of a silver and red dirt bike please report outside. It is being stolen right now." Soos said, interrupting Alex.

"Wait, WHAT?!" Someone said from the side of the room. Robbie ran to the window then ran outside, yelling at someone.

"What the…? Who was that?" Alex asked, letting go of my hands.

"That was Robbie. He's in high school already, one of Wendy's friends. I'm assuming his bike was being stolen, but people in this town are messed up," I said, putting my arm around him.

"How so?"

"Let's just say, this place is supernatural central and some people can handle it better than others. Now, what did you want to tell me?"

"Oh, right. Um, well… My dad-"

"Now we're gonna bring it down. Ladies, dudes, now's the time," Soos said, playing a slow song. Everyone partnered up and started dancing.

"Let's dance," He said, pulling me onto the dance floor again, me hoping my theory on what he was trying to say was wrong.

 **Dipper's POV**

"Ladies, dudes, now's the time," Soos said, playing a slow song. Wendy started swaying with the music.

"I love this song," she said just as Mabel ran over.

"Hey, goofus, now's your chance to ask Wen-" I covered her mouth with my hand and lead her away from Wendy. As soon as I took my hand away, she finished what she was saying. "Now's your chance to ask Wendy to dance. Come on, go!" She said, pushing me towards Wendy.

"Ok, ok yeah. Here goes nothing," I said, walking to her slowly. When I was halfway there, I realized how many things could go wrong and changed my mind. "I'll be right back!" I said to Mabel as I went pass her. I ran up to the attic where Tyrone had hidden out. Both of us started pacing as I filled him in on what had happened.

"I agree, you can't just go and DANCE with her," Tyrone said after I was done explaining.

"The dance floor is a minefield, A MINEFIELD Tyrone!" I said, not pacing anymore.

"What if there's a glitch in the sound system?"

"Stan might get in the way!"

"Robbie might come back!"

"There's too many variables! We need help," I said, already going back downstairs. I got on the copier and made 6 more clones. As they came to life, I sent them upstairs to get to work on Wendy Plan B. With 8 of us working, it didn't take too long to get the plan set up. 10 minutes after I made the clones, 5-10 went downstairs to make sure nothing would mess up the plan. 10 would distract Soos and put in the music, 8 would distract Stan, and when everything was ready, 6 would…

"There's your cue!" Tyrone said as a bell rang. "It's the perfect moment to ask Wendy to dance. Good luck!"

"I don't need luck. I have a plan," I said, walking downstairs. When I went around the corner Wendy was leaning against the wall. "What, Wendy, why are you here? Wouldn't you rather be on the dance floor in, like, 42 seconds?" I asked, looking at my watch. I had added about a minute cushion in the plan in case something happened, but it would be gone now.

"I'm just waiting for the bathroom," she said.

"Oh, okay. Cool," I said, trying to figure out how to make this work.

"So, say everyone here gets stranded on a desert island. Who do you think the leader would be?" she asked, both of us looking at the crowd. She pointed to a shorter guy punching the air. "I would go with that lunatic."

I laughed and pointed to a taller guy doing the moonwalk. "I'd go for Stretch over there, because tall people can reach coconuts."

"Speaking of tall, check this out," she said, taking a picture out of her wallet. "These are my brothers and I'm…booooop." She took her thumb off her face to show that she was the tallest of her siblings.

"You were a freak!" I said before I caught myself. I covered my mouth but Wendy didn't care. She just nodded and smiled. "You know, people used to make fun of my birthmark before I started hiding it all the time."

"Birthmark? What birthmark?"

"Wait, no, nothing! Why did I say that?"

"Dude, you know now you have to show me! Come on man! Show me, show me!" I sighed and took my hat off, then pulled my bangs out of the way. On my forehead there were freckles connected in the shape of...

"The Big Dipper! That's how you got your nickname!" Wendy said as I put my hat back on. "I just thought your family hated you or something. I guess we're both freaks. Bump me," she said, putting her fist out. We fist bumped just as the bathroom door opened. "Wait here?" She asked, going into the bathroom.

"Hey, what are you doing up here?!" Tyrone said from behind me, the other clones (minus 10) behind him. "10 has been distracting Soos for 15 minutes. He's gonna get tired of that dot eventually."

"Never!" Soos yelled. I looked back at the clones, smiling about what had happened.

"Guys, chill. I bumped into Wendy accidentally and things are going great."

"That's nice, but not the plan. Do we have to remind you what the plan is?" Tyrone said, the other clones reading some of the steps.

"Man, you guys sound crazy. Maybe we don't need the plan anymore? I can just talk to her like a normal person." The clones gasped like it was the craziest idea in the world.

"If you're not gonna stick to the plan, maybe you shouldn't be the Dipper to dance with Wendy," 5 said, the others agreeing with him and moving forward.

"Guys, calm down. We said we weren't gonna turn on each other," I said, backing up.

"I think we all knew we were lying," Tyrone said as everyone else reached me. They grabbed my arms and legs then dragged me upstairs. They threw me in the closet and closed the door. I stood up and tried to trick them into letting me out.

"Guys, I-I can't breathe in here," I said, getting quieter to try to trick them better. They didn't fall for it.

"Yes, you can. Plus, there's snacks and a coloring book in there for you!" I sighed and opened the crackers, then moved to the door to hear the conversation.

"…I nominate myself to dance with Wendy instead. I've been around the longest so it should be me. Right?" Tyrone said.

"Fair point, fair point. Counter point, maybe I should get to dance with Wendy because I've been around her the least," 10 said. I started using a bobby pin to open the door. (What? It comes in handy!) I opened the door a bit and saw Tyrone trying to feed Paper Jam some crackers. I snuck behind some of the boxes and when they turned around to look at the closet I ran downstairs.

I stood on the balcony overlooking the party and saw Wendy standing around. "Wen-" I got cut off when one of the clones covered my mouth. He pulled me back and threw me on the floor.

"You might as well give it up man. You're overpowered!" Tyrone said as I stood up.

"Guys, think about it. We're exact equals mentally and physically. If we start fighting, it will just go on for infinity," I said. They started to agree but I punched Tyrone and we all froze for a second. Then one of them yelled, "CLONE FIGHT!" and everyone started attacking each other.

I grabbed a piece of paper and wrote 7 on it, then put it on my hat and tried to sneak away. "Classic Dipper's getting away!" One of them said. I turned around and tried to fool them.

"No friends, it's me, number 7," I said. They looked at the real number 7, then stood up and started cornering me. "Stay back guys!" I said, exploding a party popper. All of a sudden, the sprinklers turned on, melting all of the clones. They complained and after a few seconds, it was just me left.

"You!" Someone said from behind me. I turned around and saw Tyrone standing there, perfectly fine.

"Uh-oh," I said, getting ready to fight.

 **Willow's POV**

"One more song dudes, then it's time for the bestowing of the party crown," Soos said, playing Time of our Lives by Tyrone Wells.

"Hey, Willow, I-I gotta get out of here. I'll see if we can stop here again on our way back," Alex said, kissing me again and walking away.

"Alex, wait," I said, grabbing his hand and pulling him back. "What did you want to tell me earlier?" I asked, hoping I was wrong.

"Oh, oh that. Yeah, that… that was nothing. No big deal," he said. I knew it.

"Your dad got transferred, didn't he?" I asked, the look on his face telling me all I needed to know.

"How did you… Did Dipper tell you? I told him-"

"Hey, hey chill. No one told me anything. I know you. Now, where and when?"

"Seattle, in, I think 6 weeks. We are going to be in Piedmont for Labor Day weekend, so we'll get to see each other before school starts. I wanted to tell you earlier, but when I saw you, I remembered how mad you got when… but the point is, I'm sorry I didn't tell you earlier," he said, wrapping his arms around me.

"It's cool, and I'm not worried about it. I mean, I miss you already, but I kind of expected it sooner or later. I knew what could happen with us but went for it anyway. We can worry about the future later. Right now, let's just enjoy this night and make some more good memories together."

"You're in charge Bullseye," he said, us dancing and enjoying what could possibly be our last night together.

 **Dipper's POV**

"Say it! Say I can dance with Wendy!" Tyrone said, putting me in a choke hold. I grabbed his arm and got him off me, then put him in a choke hold.

"Never!" I said, then heard laughing from the dance room. I let go of Tyrone and ran onto the balcony to see Wendy talking to Robbie, who had gotten his bike back. Robbie whispered something to Wendy and she punched him jokingly, laughing again.

"We blew it man," Tyrone and I said, turning around and sitting down. Tyrone looked at me, a depressed smile on his face.

"You wanna go get a couple sodas or something?"

 **Mabel's POV**

"Let the party crown voting commence!" Soos said, standing between me and Pacifica. "Applaud to vote for Mabel," Soos said, using his arm as an applause meter. He stopped when his arm was almost straight up and down. "Pretty good."

"The next contestant, Pacifica." Only a few people clapped at first. Pacifica glared at them and more people started clapping. Soos used his other arm for Pacifica and stopped in the same position as mine. "Uh-oh, a tie! This has like, never happened before."

Pacifica looked around and ran over to Old Man McGucket who was asleep on a bench. She took a bill out of her pocket and waved it under his nose. McGucket woke up, took the money, and, unfortunately, started clapping. Soos moved Pacifica's arm meter a bit more, then announced her as the winner.

"Ladies and gentlemen, the winner of the contest, Pacifica Northwest," Soos said, putting the crown on her.

"Thank you Jorge. Thank you everyone! Everyone come to the after-party at my parents' boat!" She said, being carried out by everyone. Once they were gone, only me, Candy, Grenda, Wendy, Willow and Alex were left. I went over to Candy and Grenda to apologize.

"Sorry I let you guys down and lost the contest. If you wanna leave, I'll understand," I said, turning away from them.

"But, we will miss the sleepover," Candy said. I turned back around.

"We're gonna call our parents and ask if we can sleep over here with you. You're like a total rock star!" Grenda said as Candy pulled some magazines out of her backpack.

"I have magazine boys!" She said, putting them back. I smiled and turned to Soos.

"Soos, play another song! This thing's going all night!" He hit a button and all of us, Willow and Alex included, started dancing, glad to have each other.

 **Dipper's POV**

Tyrone and I had gone onto the roof and taken some of the sodas from Wendy's cooler. "Some night, huh?" Tyrone asked. We opened our sodas just as a shooting start flew past. One of the best things about being in the middle of nowhere instead of in giant cities is that you can actually see the stars at night.

"You think we even have a chance with Wendy? I mean, she's 15, we're 12," I said, hoping there was a chance.

"I don't know, I hope so. But we're making zero progress the way we're doing it. The only good conversation you had with her was when you didn't do any of that list stuff."

"I know. The girls are right; I do get in my own way."

"Literally!" We both said, toasting our sodas and drinking a bit. "Uh, dude…" Tyrone said. I looked at him and saw the area where his stomach would be was melting.

"Tyrone!"

"It's cool man. I had a good run. Remember what we talked about. And quit being such a wimp around Wendy. For my sake…" Tyrone then melted completely, leaving just mush left. I poured my soda on where he melted then climbed off of the roof. I stood on the porch and looked in the window.

Stan was counting money, Soos was still DJ-ing, Mabel was dancing with two other girls, Willow and Alex were together, and Wendy was leaning against the wall. I reached for the door but stopped before I opened it. I grabbed Wendy Plan out of my vest and ripped it apart, then went inside. Mabel was the first to notice me.

"Dipper! Where've you been? Meet my girlfriends!" I went over to them and Mabel introduced me. "Girls, this is my brother Dipper. Dipper, these are Candy and Grenda."

"Nice to meet you," I said, shaking their hands. Willow and Alex came over, looking perfectly normal. "Does she…" I whispered to Alex, making sure I didn't accidentally say something stupid.

"Yeah, she figured it out," He said, wrapping his arm around Willow. Mabel was confused.

"Wait, what's going on? Who knows what now?" Mabel asked, looking at all of us.

"My dad got transferred to Seattle. We don't leave for a few weeks, but…" Alex said, looking at Willow guiltily. She just kissed him and smiled.

"Don't worry, we're gonna be fine," she said as they all went back to dancing. I looked at Wendy, thought of Tyrone, and walked over to her, not thinking about what I was doing, just going by instinct.

"Hey Wendy. Do you want to dance?" I asked. She nodded and came onto the dance floor. We started dancing and I thought about what Willow said and realized she was right; All of us would be just fine.


	7. Irrational Treasure

**So, I realized there is something I should have been doing but haven't; SHOUTOUTS! These are the shoutouts for all of the chapters so far, and from now on I will do them for each chapter.**

 **Cesergarciadiaz99- I don't think I'm going to do that, but thanks for the idea. If you want, you can borrow Willow and write the story yourself. Thanks for the review!**

 **Suntan140- Thanks for both reviews. As for Willow/Robbie, that's just a guy likes a girl because he thinks she's hot. It's nothing majorly serious.**

 **Psychochiken- Thanks for both reviews and your advice. I cannot wait for you to release your story. I'll be looking out for it.**

 **Kingdom Hearts Slayer- Thanks for your review!**

 **HowAboutThat- Thanks for the review! Originally, Willow wasn't going to be creepy, but one of my friends pitched that idea to me and it fit perfectly.**

 **Pine Tree- Billow probably won't happen, but Bill WILL appear more times than he does in the show, so be ready! Thanks for the review!**

 **Ajjr12- Ecodisamatic disorder is not a real disease. It's just something I made up. Thanks for the review!**

 **Gamelover41592- Thanks so much for all your reviews and complements, and I'm glad you liked the Willex relationship.**

 **Saul'keth- Thanks for the review! That's what I was going for; Willow seeming like she was in the show the whole time. I feel that if you focus too much on your OC's, that takes away from the original creation. And your right; Alex will be in Weirdmaggeddon.**

 **Lula bear- I'm glad you love the story so much. Thanks for the review!**

 **Disclaimer: I only own Willow. Everything else in the show belongs to Alex Hirsch and the GF team.**

* * *

 **Mabel's POV (June 25** **th** **)**

Dipper, Willow, and I were in the back of Stan's car. We were going into town against our will to pick up groceries since the party last night had pretty much wiped out all of our food. A Doctor Who marathon was on when he dragged us out of the shack. The only plus side was he had bought us nachos to keep us quiet. I grabbed two nachos and put them on my ears, leaving them hanging there. "Nacho earrings. I'm hilarious!" I said, finishing my bag.

"That's debatable," Stan said from up front, honking his horn. Willow pulled a nacho out of her bag and started staring at it.

"This looks like that triangle demon from the journal," she said, showing Dipper her nacho. He pushed it away from himself.

"Willow, don't joke about that guy. He gives me the creeps. If, hypothetically, he comes back, code word is nachos, understood?" He asked. Willow nodded and ate her nacho, me forgetting about that conversation. Grunkle Stan honked his horn a few more times, then started yelling.

"Come on, what's with all this traffic? And why is it all… covered wagons? Hot Belgian Waffles, not today!" He hit the gas and spun the car around, driving way too fast. He slammed the brakes and barley avoided hitting a few women who were dressed in old timey clothes.

"Grunkle Stan, what's going on?" Dipper asked as Stan started driving backwards.

"We gotta get outta here, before it's too late!" Stan yelled, slamming the brakes again. There were covered wagons going all around the car. "They've circled the wagons! We're trapped! NOOOOOOO!" I looked out the window and saw a cow staring at us.

"I've got a good feeling about today," I said to Dipper and Willow, all of us getting out of the car. Dipper pulled an old photo out of his pocket and held it up, the three of us looking at it, then at the town. Main Street was decorated all old-timey, water barrels, hay bales, and covered wagons everywhere. Women were wearing bonnets and aprons, the men dressed in overalls and brown flannel.

"Grunkle Stan, why does it look like we stole TARDIS and traveled back 200 years?" Willow asked when Stan had gotten out of the car. He started rubbing the bridge of his nose, shaking his head.

"It's Pioneer Day," Stan mumbled. He noticed the confused looks on our faces and elaborated. "Every year these yahoos dress up like idiots to celebrate the day Gravity Falls was founded. It makes me want to kill them even more than I already do." Toby Determined came up to us holding a Pioneer Day sign.

"Welcome to 1862!" He said, smiling.

"I will break you little man!" Stan yelled at him, making Toby run away and crash into some barrels. We started looking around. Adults were helping kids do a bunch of different activities.

"Look, candle dipping!" Willow said as a woman took three candles out of a barrel of wax.

"Gold panning!" Dipper said, pointing at McGucket who was helping kids look for gold. There was a priest marring a man and… a woodpecker?

"What chu talkin' 'bout?" I asked aloud as the man left the alter, the woodpecker on his shoulder. Dipper took the journal out of his vest and flipped to some page.

"In Gravity Falls it used to be legal to marry woodpeckers," He said, putting the journal back.

"Seriously?"

"It's still legal, very legal," the woodpecker guy said from behind us.

"And I thought these people were messed up before," Willow said, watching the guy walk into a house.

"Come one, come all to the opening ceremonies!" Someone said over the loudspeakers. The entire crowd started going to the fountain in the center of town. We started following them, then realized Grunkle Stan hadn't moved.

"Grunkle Stan, you coming?" I asked turning around. Stan started walking back to the car.

"No thank you! But remember, if you kids come back to the Shack talking like these people, you're dead to me," he said, opening the door.

"There's a carpetbagger in the turnip cellar!" Dipper said.

"Well hornswabber my haversack!" I replied. The three of us spit on the ground and ran towards the center of town.

"DEAD TO ME!" Stan called after us, honking the horn. The town had set up a stage in the middle of the road and the people were gathered around it. Dipper, Willow and I made our way to the front of the crowd. On stage were Sheriff Blubs, Durland, and Pacifica and her family.

"Here-ye, here-ye!" Blubs said, talking into a microphone. "Ye olde commencement ceremony is about to commence." Durland ran on stage ringing a bell like a maniac.

"Police, my purse!" Someone yelled from the crowd. Instead of doing anything, Durland just continued to ring the bell. They backed up and Pacifica took their place.

"Howdy everyone! You all know me, Pacifica Northwest, great-great granddaughter of town founder, Nathaniel Northwest. I'm also very rich," she said, everyone clapping. "Now, if you've got the pioneer spirit, we ask you to come up here and introduce yourself."

"Audience participation!" I said excitedly. I started walking on stage, but Willow stopped me.

"I don't know about this Mabel. After last night, isn't that girl kind of like your arch enemy?" She asked me. I shook my head, still smiling.

"We just got off on the wrong foot. It'll be fine," I said, running onstage.

"Our first newcomer is… Mabel…" Pacifica said angrily.

"Yeah! Let's get this Pioneer Day started! Right guys? USA! USA!" I said, everyone chanting USA.

"I'm sorry to break it to you, but Pioneer Day is for serious people and you look and act ridiculous," Pacifica said, looking at my sweater. "I mean, a puppy playing basketball? Are you always this silly?" Normally someone calling me silly wouldn't bother me. I'm a goof, I know that, I admit it, and I'm proud of it. But for some reason when Pacifica said it, it got to me.

"I can be serious," I said, glaring at her.

"You do have nachos hanging from your ears, hon," she said. I touched the nachos and blushed. "I'm embarrassed for you. Give her a hand everybody!" Everyone started clapping again, but it was a pity clap, not an honest one. "Now who wants to hear more about me?" Pacifica said as I ran off the stage. I cut through the crowd and started walking past some of the booths that were set up.

"You okay?" Willow asked from behind me, Dipper grabbing my arm. I just kept walking.

"I need some old-timey butterscotch," I said. Willow nodded and ran to the butterscotch line. Dipper followed me to the steps in front of a statue of Nathaniel Northwest. Why I went there, I had no idea, but no one was around so it was perfect. Willow came up a few minutes later with a bag of butterscotch in her hand. I took the bag and put one in my mouth.

"Guys, do you think I'm silly?" I asked them.

"Uh, nnnoooo?" Dipper said slowly.

"I knew it!" I yelled, standing up and pacing. "The nacho earrings, the sweater. I thought I was being charming, but I guess people see me as a big joke."

"Mabel, calm down. Everyone's silly sometimes. What's the big deal?" Willow asked me. I stopped pacing and looked at her.

"I don't know. I guess I want people to know that I'm not just a goof off. That I can be normal sometimes too," I took the nachos off my ears and threw them on the ground, then took off my sweater and wrapped it around my waist.

"Come on Mabel. You love that sweater!" Dipper said as I sat back down.

"I used to before Pacifica ruined it for me. She ruins everything!"

"Pacifica!" Dipper said, standing up and looking at the statue. "Why does she think that being related to the town founder means she can treat everyone like garbage. It's just not right. Someone needs to take her down a peg."

"I don't know why, but it definitely isn't right. If only… wait a minute," Willow stopped and turned to Dipper, an excited gleam in her eyes. "Dipper, journal now." Dipper looked confused but took the journal out anyway. Willow turned to me and explained what was going on. "I read something in the journal about Pacifica's great-great grandfather," She said, taking the journal from Dipper. She opened to some page and started reading.

"'In my investigations I recently made a discovery. Nathaniel Northwest may not be the true founder of Gravity Falls! I believe the secret is hidden somewhere in the enclosed document. If only I could crack the code…'" Willow took an old piece of paper out of the journal and opened it. There were a bunch of weird looking symbols on it. Willow smiled, the gleam in her eyes even brighter. Dipper took the paper form her and started looking at it.

"If this cover up is true, it means Pacifica's whole family is a fraud. This could be a major conspiracy! Willow, we gotta go investigate this!" Dipper stood up and they were about to leave, but I stopped them.

"Wait guys. I'm coming with you. Conspiracies are serious, right?"

"Definitely," Dipper said, getting a gleam in his eye.

"If I help you guys crack the code nobody could ever call me silly again!"

"Awesome! Pines Inc.?" Dipper said, holding out his fist.

"I thought you hated that," Willow said, putting her fist in.

"I'm starting to accept it," Dipper said. I stood up, put the butterscotch bag in my shirt (What? Their built in pockets!) fist bumped them, and all of us ran towards the Gravity Falls library.

 **GFF**

Man, this town is messed up! When we walked into the library, Old Man McGucket was giving some little kids a history lesson. I thought it was sweet at first, but then I heard what McGucket was saying.

"Back in the olden days, pioneers drew subsistence from telling stories 'round the fire. So let's eat some books children! Go ahead, eat the books!" He said, chewing on the corner of one. Dipper, Willow and I went to the back of the library. Dipper was setting up a projector, Willow was looking for slides of old languages, and I was looking for books of the same thing. I walked over to Dipper and put the books I found on the table, then started looking through them. Willow came over a minute or two later with some old slides in her hand.

"Alright, if we can prove Nathaniel Northwest wasn't the real founder of Gravity Falls, it will finally put Pacifica in her place," Willow said, giving Dipper the slides.

"And solving a mystery will prove that I'm not silly. I'm serious, seeeeriousss…" I said, putting another butterscotch in my mouth. Dipper put the slides in the projector and turned it on.

"We just need to crack the code. Let's see… not Egyptian… not numerology… not- Wait! The triangle is the alchemist symbol for flame. Lighting the parchment on fire will reveal the secret message!" Dipper put the paper on the table, then he and Willow started trying to find a candle. I got bored so I grabbed the paper and folded it into a hat, then put it on my head. "Let's light this sucker up and- Mabel!" Dipper turned around with a candle in his hand, then saw my hat.

"Wop! I just made a hat!" I said. Willow face-palmed and I realized what I had done. "Damn, I just did something silly again!"

"Wait a minute," Willow said, her face lighting up. "Mabel, you folded it into a map! And we were gonna burn it…"

"We're on the lookout for three kids who might be reading," Someone said from the front of the library. Willow looked out from behind a bookshelf, motioning for us to be quiet.

"We're huntin' 'em down for secret reasons!" Someone else said, then a bell rang. Willow turned around and pushed us under the table.

"It's those cops," she whispered. There was a loud thud, then the bell rang again.

"As soon as we can, we should get out of here and go… where does the map say we should go?" Dipper asked. I took it off my head and looked at it.

"It leads us to…"

 **GFF**

"…The Gravity Falls Museum of History!" I said, giving Dipper the paper. He glared up at the building, acting 'manly'.

"You know what this means? We're gonna have to break in!" He said. Willow pushed him from behind.

"Or we could just walk in the front door," she said, walking up the steps. A woman stopped us when we went inside.

"Here are you free Pioneer Day passes, and your balloons; blue and pink," She said, giving us the papers and balloons. Dipper looked up and glared again, still trying to be 'manly.'

"We're in," He said. Willow pushed him again.

"Knock it off man," She said, walking around.

"So what are we gonna do next? Steal Thomas Jefferson's ribcage?" I asked. Even Willow looked at me like it was crazy.

"Eww, no. According to the map, the next clue should be… right here!" Willow said. We stopped in front of a triangular abstract painting.

"We gotta figure this out quick. I have a feeling those cops weren't in the library to check out books," Dipper said, looking at the painting.

"I don't think the one with the bell can read," I whispered. The three of us starting examining the painting. I got tired of standing so I sat on the bench, still looking at the painting.

"Hey, painting! Be less stupid!" I yelled at it, laying down. Laying down made it a bit clearer, so then I turned upside-down entirely, and that did the trick. "Guys, it worked!" I said, still upside-down. Dipper and Willow came over and turned upside-down.

"It's not abstract, it's just upside-down!" Dipper said excitedly. The painting was actually of a statue of a woman who was pointing at something.

"I've seen that statue at the cemetery. Let's go!" Willow said, the three of us standing up. Two seconds later, we were all grabbing our heads. Thankfully, we hadn't been upside-down that long, so it passed quickly.

"Okay, let's get outta here," Dipper said, all of us running towards the front door, Dipper in the lead. We were about to enter the main area when Dipper stopped suddenly, Willow and I crashing into him. I looked around the pillar and saw the cops talking to the woman at the entrance.

"What do we do?" I asked, pulling my head back.

"I'm pretty sure they're getting orders from someone to trail us. I'm not worried about Durland, but Blubs is the main problem. We wait for their boss to call, then we run pass them. When I say go, we run out the door like Grievers are on our tail. Split up if we have to. Meet up at the cemetery. Be ready," Willow said, watching the cops from behind the pillar. I got into a runner's crouch, ready to move instantly. A minute later, there was a crackling sound. "Wait for it… GO GO GO!" She whisper-shouted, the three of us taking off. They saw us, but we made it out the door no problem.

"Damn it! Get back here!" Blubs called after us. I turned around for a second and saw the two of them stuck in the doorway. I laughed a bit, then turned back around and caught up to Dipper and Willow. We ran all the way to the cemetery, not knowing how long we had. We slowed down once we actually got into the cemetery, not wanting to disrupt anyone. Willow took the lead, bringing us right in front of the statue.

"Nice job Willow. The statue must be pointing to the next clue," Dipper said, he and Willow looking in that direction. I got onto the podium the statue was on, then made it look like the woman was picking my nose.

"Gross, she's picking my nose!" I said. Willow face-palmed and Dipper starting rubbing the bridge of his nose. Suddenly, the statue's finger moved down a bit and there was a grinding noise from below me.

"Mabel, look!" Dipper said, pointing down. A trap door had opened up in the ground, a staircase leading under the graves.

"Who's silly now, Pacifica? Okay, ow ow ow. There we go," I said, getting my nose off the statue's finger. Willow went first with a flashlight (why she keeps one on her, I have no idea), then Dipper, then me. "Now we're getting into real conspiracy mode! I feel so serious," I said, putting another butterscotch in my mouth, throwing the wrapper on the stairs behind me. When we got off the steps, Dipper started walking beside Willow, looking at the journal. After a minute or two, he closed it and put it back in his vest.

"Nothing helpful in there. Just look out for booby traps," He said, slowing down a bit.

"Ha, booby traps," I whispered. The next step I took, the ground moved a bit and there was a clicking noise. We all stopped, but then Willow ducked and a dart flew pass her, landing in the wall behind me.

"Tranq darts! RUN!" She said, running down the path, Dipper and I following her, the three of us avoiding all of the darts. One or two nicked my clothes, but none hit me. Suddenly, we were all tumbling down a slope. We crashed through a tarp and landed in a pile.

"Girls, you good?" Dipper asked us. We nodded and stood up, looking around the room. It was full of old artifacts and tarps covering different things. There were files and boxes with CONFIDENTIAL or TOP SECRET stamped on most of them.

"It's a treasure trove of historic-y secret-y things," I said, all of us walking around the room. I picked up a file and opened it. The first picture was of President Lincoln with and without his hat on. Apparently, the hat was to cover an extra hand coming out of his head. The second page was a picture of Ben Franklin with a caption saying that he was a woman. "Guys, Ben Franklin secretly was a woman!" I yelled, putting the file back, looking around more.

"I am SO keeping this!" Willow called out, showing us a blueprint for an amped-up crossbow, then putting it in her camo jacket. We went back to searching for anything about the Northwest family.

"Guys, I found it!" Dipper called from the back of the room. Willow and I ran over to him, Willow grabbing some gold coins from a chest and stuffing them in her pockets. On a table in front of Dipper, there was a file with the words NORTHWEST COVER-UP on it.

"Awesome, now we can find out who the real town founder is," Willow said, the excited gleam back in her eyes, now whether that was from the Northwest's or her new treasures, I'm not sure. Dipper opened the file and started reading.

"'Let it be here recorded that Nathaniel Northwest, fabled founder of Gravity Falls, was, in fact, a fraud. As well as… a waste shoveling village idiot?' Oh man, bad news for Pacifica. Wait until the papers hear about this!" Dipper read, laughing at the part about a waste-shoveling idiot.

"Once people hear that I uncovered a historical conspiracy, they can never call me silly again!" I said excitedly. Willow looked at the document and started reading.

"'The true founder of Gravity Falls was Sir Lord Quentin Trembley III Esquire.'" She read, confusion clear in her face.

"Who's Quentin Trembley?" I asked, running through all the old names I knew to see if anything rang a bell. Something did.

"THAT'S NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS!" Someone said from behind us, light entering the room. We turned around and saw shadows. Whoever was holding the light moved it to the side allowing us to see that the cops had caught up to us. Blubs was holding the flashlight, Durland was ringing his bell.

"WE GOTCHA! Whoo! We…oookaaay," He stopped ringing the bell and fell face-first on the ground, tranq darts sticking out of his back.

"He got hit with quite a few of those darts," Blubs said, taking the darts out of Durland's back. He woke Durland up and helped him stand. "You good buddy?" He asked. Durland nodded, then his eyes went buggy.

"I think I might be colorblind now," He said, looking around. Blubs just nodded and turned to us.

"Quentin Trembley is a matter of national security," he said, turning the flashlight off.

"What do you mean 'national security?'" Dipper asked, closing the file and putting it in his vest.

"And who is Quentin Trembley anyway?" I asked, still not recognizing the name.

"See for yourself," Blubs said, taking his hat off. Underneath was a reel of old film. He put it in a projector (why that was down here, I don't know) and turned it on, black-and-white numbers counting down.

"Aww man, black and white?!" I said.

"Mabel, chill," Willow said, sitting on one of the tables that was down here. The film started and showed some government guy standing next to a table.

"If you're watching this, that means you are one of eight people in these United States with clearance to view this information. In fact, I myself will be shot as soon as the filming is complete," He said, looking off screen. "What, no? Okay, that's a relief! Of all of America's secrets, the most embarrassing was that of Quentin Trembley; The eighth-and-a-half president of the United States."

"President?" Dipper and Willow said, confused.

"Eighth and a half?" I added.

"After winning the 1837 election in a landslide (literally) Quentin Trembley quickly gained a reputation as America's silliest president. He waged war on pancakes, appointed six babies to the supreme court, and issued the de-pants-ipation proclamation. His state of the union speech was even worse. _The only thing we have to fear… is gigantic, man-eating spiders!_ He was kicked out of office and escaped to an uncharted valley he named Gravity Falls, after plummeting into it at high speed. Trembley's shameful term was erased from history and officially replaced by William Henry Harrison as President and local nobody Nathaniel Northwest as founder of Gravity Falls. The whereabouts of president Trembley's body are unknown."

"Until now!" Blubs said, taking the tarp of what I thought was a large box. Instead, it was the body of Trembley surrounded by something that looked like honey.

"Whoa! Is that like amber or something?" Willow asked, looking at the block.

"The fool thought he could live forever by encasing himself in a block of solid peanut brittle. Smooth move Mr. President!" Blubs said, glaring at the body. "Finding Trembley's body was our special mission. And now, thanks to you kids, it's complete."

"Who knew all we had to do was follow a little girl's trail of candy wrappers?" Durland said, holding up the wrapper of one of my butterscotch candies.

"Ugh, silly!" I said, face-palming. I can't believe I did that! No wonder the cops were able to follow us all day!

"Now that you know the truth, well, we can't let you go around talkin' about it," Blubs said.

"Does that mean-?" Dipper said, going into protective brother mode and blocking me and Willow from the cops.

"Are you going to kill us?!" I asked, getting ready for a fight.

"What, no. Calm down kids. We're just gonna escort you and all this stuff back to D.C. You ain't comin' back by the way."

 **GFF**

"ANYONE THERE? HELP US! LET US OUT!" We yelled, punching the box. Bulbs and Durland had put the three of us in a crate along with President Trembley's body. The crate, along with all the other stuff from the room was on a train going to DC. The three of us had been trying to break the crate open since the train took off, but nothing was working. I sat down next to Trembley, my head in my knees.

"I can't believe I left a trail of candy wrappers. I'm sorry guys, this is all my fault. Pacifica had me pegged all along. I'm just a silly failure like that embarrassing president what's-his-name," I said, depressed. I grabbed some of the peanut brittle from the block and put it in my mouth. Then there was a sound like cracking ice. I stood up and backed away, Dipper and Willow on either side of me. The peanut brittle was cracking apart. It exploded and all of us ducked our heads. When we looked up the peanut brittle was gone and Trembley was looking at us.

"It is I, Quentin Trembley!" He said, ripping his pants off.

"You're alive! But how?" Dipper asked, staring.

"Peanut brittle really DOES have life sustaining properties!" Willow said, looking at a chunk that had landed at her feet.

"You're not silly, you're brilliant!" I exclaimed, thinking that this is one of the more 'normal' things we've seen since coming to town.

"And so are you, dear girl," He said, putting his hand on my shoulder. "You figured out my clues and saved me from my delicious tomb!"

"He's right. Turning maps into hats, hanging upside-down; your silliness solved the code that serious cops couldn't crack in 100 years!" Dipper said, complementing me. I smiled, not worried about Pacifica anymore. Now the only thing I was worried about was getting out of the crate. Apparently, so was Trembley.

"By Jefferson! We seem to but trapped in some sort of crate-shaped box," he said, looking around.

"It's a crate Mr. President," I told him. He reached into his jacket pocket and took out a key.

"Good thing I still have the president's key, which can open any lock in America!" He said, slamming the key into the wall a few times.

"Uh, sir… I don't think that's going to work," Willow said, staring at him.

"Wood! My age old enemy," He said, putting the key back in his jacket. "In order to get out of here, this is going to take the silliest plan ever conceived."

"I think I know someone who can help you," Willow said, smiling at me. I started looking around and noticed a small hole in the wood.

"How about that hole?" I asked, pointing at it.

"We will leap through it!" Trembley said, diving at the hole, me doing the same. I put my finger through the hole and started wiggling it around.

"Guys, I'm not sure this is working," Dipper said, sounding skeptical.

"Trust the silliness!" I growled, still wiggling my finger. I felt something land beside me, a pecking sound coming from outside.

"Is that my third wife? Sandy?" Trembley said, listening to the pecking. I pulled my finger back in, the pecking still going on. A few seconds later, the entire crate broke open.

"Well, we didn't fit through the hole. Let's rebuild the box and try again!" Trembley said, reaching for some of the wood.

"Yeah, how about we do that later? We gotta get outta here!" Dipper said, running to the door, Willow following him.

"Also good!" Trembley and I started following them. The first two cars were other storage cars. The third one was the sleeping units. Standing in front of the ice machine was Durland. When he saw us, he dropped his ice bucket.

"Blubs!" He called, reaching for his Taser. The four of us ran back the way we had come, ending up back in the original car, which turned out to be the last one.

"Up there!" Willow said, pointing to the emergency exit in the ceiling. Trembley went up first, trying to open the hatch with his key. Dipper climbed the ladder and took the key, then opened the hatch and got out of the train. We ran as far as we could, but a gap in the cars stopped us. We turned around and saw Blubs and Durland standing a few feet behind us.

"Sheriff Blubs, do you really want to lock us all up in a government facility somewhere?" Willow yelled.

"I've got no choice! Our orders come from the very top!" Blubs said, pointing in the direction the train was going.

"Wait a minute! Quentin, did you ever sign an OFFICIAL resignation?" Dipper asked.

"No sir. I ate a salamander and jumped out the window," Trembley said.

"Then, technically you're still legally the President of the United States! You've gotta answer to this guy now!" Dipper said, pointing at Trembley, a cocky smirk on his face.

"As president of these several United States, I hereby order you to pretend this never happened! And- and go on a delightful vacation!" He said, a sign hitting the back of his head.

"Vacation?" Blubs asked, then turned to Durland excitedly. "What place have you always wanted to visit?"

"Silly Water Fun Slides in Grand Lakes, Michigan!" They both said, the train slowing down. When it stopped, Trembley, Dipper, Willow and I got off the train. Blubs and Durland were still on, now wearing Hawaiian shirts. We waved at each other as the train started moving again. Once it was out of sight, Trembley turned to me.

"You've done a great service to your country Mabel. As thanks, I'd like to make you an official US congresswoman," He said, putting a top hat on my head.

"I'm legalizing everything!" I replied, throwing my arms up. Trembley nodded and turned to Willow and Dipper.

"Roderick and Marissa… You kids are on your way to unlocking the mysteries of this great land. So I'd like you have my President's Key!" He said, giving the key to Dipper.

"Thank you. Let's get outta here before someone realizes anything happened," Dipper said, putting the key in his vest. We started walking back home, me not worried about Pacifica anymore.

 **GFF**

"… And then he chased me around and spanked me with a paddle for like three hours! Bottom line, George Washington was a jerk," Trembley said, us walking into the center of town.

"A-greed!" I said, walking over to where Pacifica was watching some kids running around a maypole. "Hey Pacifica! I uncovered a government conspiracy about the eighth-and-a-half President of the United States! Who's silly now?" I asked. Pacifica looked over my shoulder, then her eyes bugged out.

"What the… Who is that idiot?" She said. I turned around and saw Trembley chasing a bald eagle, his fists up.

"The eighth-and-a-half President of America! How is he still alive? Turns out you can hibernate in peanut brittle and it-" Pacifica started laughing and cut me off.

"Wow! You really are a sad, dumb little girl. Nice top hat by the way," She said, walking over to her parents, who were standing in front of a limo. "Oh yeah, your guys' car is stuck in the mud. Enjoy walking home!" She yelled, getting in the car.

"Aren't you going to tell her about her ate-gray ampa-gray?" Dipper asked, holding up the file. I shook my head and put my sweater back on.

"I've got nothing to prove. I've learned that being silly is awesome!" I said proudly. Willow took the file from Dipper and whistled.

"I haven't learned anything!" She said, running up to the limo. "Hey Pacifica! Nathaniel Northwest didn't found Gravity Falls and your whole family is a sham. Deal with it!" She said, giving Pacifica the file and running back to us. "Man, revenge is underrated. That felt awesome!" Willow said excitedly.

"Children," Trembley said from behind us. "I am needed elsewhere. Just know that I'll always be right here… on the negative twelve-dollar bill," He said, giving it to Dipper.

"Whoa! This is worthless!" Dipper said, pocketing the money.

"It's less than worthless. Trembley, away!" Trembley said, jumping backwards and landing on a horse. The horse took off and ran out of sight, Trembley waving goodbye to us.

"Where do you think he's going?" I asked.

"I'm gonna say… off a cliff." Dipper said, smiling tiredly.

 **GFF**

"And then Soos came by and talked to me for like an hour!" Stan said. We had found him locked in the stocks and smelling like tomatoes.

"You've been through so much," I said, Dipper taking the President's Key out of his vest and putting it in the lock.

"Sweet, it works!" Dipper said, putting the key back in his vest.

"So what's with the top hat?" Stan asked me, rubbing his wrists and neck.

"I am a congresswoman!" I replied.

"Pardon me?"

"You are officially pardoned!" I said, Dipper, Willow and I laughing. Stan just rubbed the bridge of his nose again.

"You are never gonna make sense, are you kid?" He asked.

"No I'm not, Grunkle Stan. No I'm not. Mabel, away!" I yelled, jumping backwards. I crashed into some barrels and trash cans. "I'M OKAY!"

* * *

 **I hope you guys enjoyed this chapter. It was such a stupidly funny episode that it was a piece of cake to write. And check out the updated story picture! Sorry it looks weird; I STINK at drawing. And I want your help with something. Since Alex is in the next episode (Time Travelers Pig), I'm having a hard time making sure the episode still works with him and Willow in it. If you have any ideas, please tell me. It will help me out A LOT! Anyway, please review, give me your ideas, and I'll see you in two weeks!**


	8. Time Traveler's Pig

**Thanks to everyone who reviewed the last chapter. Some of you noticed that Willow wasn't creepy. I did not forget to add her creepiness; it was intentional and will be explained this chapter. Now, onto the shout outs.**

 **Gamelover41592- Thanks for the review and all your complements.**

 **Saul'keth- Willow's lack of creepiness will be explained this chapter, and I'm glad you liked her being the one to get revenge. You're right about the new Zodiac, and the gray thing is… What do you think it's supposed to be? And thank you for the advice about fitting Willex into the chapter. I was able to figure it out, but it is really confusing, even for me. And I read your Stronger Than You story; BEST BILL RETURNS STORY EVER!**

 **yutchmathes- Thanks for the review and complements. I hope you enjoy this chapter.**

 **Disclaimer: I only own Alex, Willow and her creepy comments. Gravity Falls belongs to Alex Hirsch.**

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 **Mabel's POV (June 26** **th** **(10:00 AM)**

"There she is Mabel," Grunkle Stan said, showing me around. He had rented out a fair and was getting it set up in the field by the Shack. There wasn't anything special about it- Ferris wheel, food stands, game booths; standard fair stuff- but according to him, Gravity Falls hadn't had a fair come to town in at least ten years, so it was supposed to be a big thing. "The cheapest fair money can rent. I spared every expense," he continued. Suddenly, there was the sound of breaking metal.

"AAAAAAHHHHHH!" Dipper screamed. I looked up and saw a tram car coming down towards us. Grunkle Stan and I backed up and the car landed a few feet in front of us, Dipper frozen in shock. "I think the sky tram is broken. Also, most of my bones," he whispered, still not moving.

"Grunkle Stan!" Willow yelled, coming up to us. "Booths are all set up, but the safety inspector already came by. I saw at least 10 negative certificates."

"Kids, this ain't my first rodeo," Grunkle Stan said, pulling some papers out of his jacket. He split them up between the three of us. "I printed up a bunch of fake safety inspection certificates. Go slap one on anything that looks like a lawsuit."

"Grunkle Stan, is that legal?" I asked.

"When there's no cops around, anything's legal!" He said, smiling. Then he turned to Soos, who was setting up the dunk tank. "Soos, how's that dunk tank coming?"

"Almost ready Mr. Pines," Soos said, turning off the blowtorch he was using. Since Grunkle Stan was going to be the one people were trying to dunk, he had wanted it to be impossible to win. He started pushing the target and it didn't move more than an inch.

"Ha, you've got it rigged from here to Timbuktu! There's nothing on Earth that could knock me down!"

"Except for, like, a futuristic laser arm cannon," Soos said, putting the blowtorch away.

"Yeah, sure. You haven't seen my red screwdriver, have ya? Damn thing went missing," Grunkle Stan said, looking through a toolbox.

"Maybe some supernatural creature or paranormal thing-um took it," Soos offered.

"Oi! You've been spending too much time with those kids."

"HEY!" The three of us said. Grunkle Stan just kept looking for his screwdriver, the three of us hanging up the flyers, thinking Soos was just being crazy.

 **Dipper's POV (12:00 Noon)**

"It's 12 o'clock! The dunk tank is now open!" Stan said through a megaphone. Wendy and I were getting pretzels shaped like question marks.

"How do they get them into this shape? It's unnatural," I said, holding up my pretzel.

"But Dipper, they're so… delicious?" Wendy offered, both of us laughing. Then a drop of mustard fell off her pretzel and landed on her sleeve. "Boo! I'll be right back," she said, walking away.

"I'll be right here!" I called after her, then I whispered to myself "I love you!"

"Look at you two! Getting all romantic at the fair!" Mabel said, walking up to us, two cotton candies in her hand, Willow following with one of her own.

"It's no big deal," I said, trying to play it cool.

"Yeah it is!" Willow said, looking at me like I was stupid.

"Okay, you're right, it is! I just dove in! I said, 'Hey! You wanna hang out at the fair?' And you know what she said?" I asked, but continued before they could answer. "'Yeah I guess so!' It totally worked! All your guys' advice about just going for it is finally paying off!"

"When are you going to learn Dipper? I'm always right about everything!" Mabel said, eating some cotton candy.

"What about the time you… Do you guys smell a gallon of body spray?" Willow asked, a disgusted look on her face. Now that she said it, I definitely smelled something weird. I turned around and saw Robbie walking up to us, the smell getting stronger.

"Hey, any of you dorks seen Wendy around?" he asked, taking some of Mabel's cotton candy. "I got some new super tight jeans. Thought she might want to check 'em out," he continued.

"You know; I think I saw her in the Bottomless Pit. You should really go jump in there," I said, pointing in the direction of the pit.

"Maybe I will, smart guy," Robbie said, bumping me as he walked away.

"He is such a jerk," Mabel said, glaring in the direction he went.

"I'm just glad he stopped flirting with me," Willow added.

"So am I, but now he's all in on Wendy. Even though he's a jerk, he's a jerk with super tight pants and a guitar. I have to keep him away from Wendy at all costs," I said.

"I'll be right there with you brother. Whatever happens, I'll be right here supporting you every step of the- OH MY GOSH A PIG!" Mabel yelled, dropping the cotton candy and running in the direction of the pig pen.

"Okay, she's doing that. Do you want back up or not?" Willow asked, picking up the cotton candy.

"I'm good. Go have fun," I said, us walking away from each other.

 **Mabel's POV (12:05 PM)**

"OH MY GOSH A PIG!" I yelled, dropping my cotton candy and running towards the pig pen.

"If'n you can guess the critter's weight; you can take the critter home!" The farmer said as I ran up. I started examining the pigs. All four of them were adorable, but there was one that was practically talking to me, seeming as if we were meant for each other. That pig oinked twice.

"He said Mabel! Either that or doorbell. Did you say Mabel or doorbell?" I asked him. He oinked twice again, and I knew it was perfect.

"Oh look, Mabel found her real sibling," Someone said from behind me. I turned around and saw Pacifica and her friends laughing at me.

"Sir, I must have that pig!" I said to the farmer. He picked up the pig and cleaned it off.

"Ah, of course, old 15-poundy! So how much you guessin' he weighs?" He asked me. I looked at him, pretending he didn't just give me the answer.

"Umm, 15 pounds?" I said slowly. He glared at me.

"Are you some kind of witch?" He asked. I shook my head and he gave me the pig, the crowd clapping for me. "And you'll be needin' these," He said, giving me a fork and knife. I glared at him. "Nope? Suit yourself."

I hugged my pig, who I decided to name Waddles, then whispered "Everything is different now."

 **Willow's POV (12:05 PM)**

"I'm good. Go have fun," Dipper said, us walking away from each other. I went over to the archery area. Apparently, archery is a big thing in this town (not complaining) so Stan had set up a target in the woods. 30 feet away, each person got three shots using the crossbow, and the closer you were to getting a bullseye, the better your prize. When I got there, there was a pretty good turn out, but most of them were little kids who were terrible shots. The best was probably all three bolts in ring 8.

"Who's next?" the booth manager said. I went up to him and handed him my ticket, then got the first bolt loaded. I grabbed my necklace (the silver oak leaf Stan had given me) kissed it (for good luck) and took my first shot. Bullseye, slightly above dead center. Second shot, dead center. Third shot, right between the two. They were so close that a thumb could have covered all of them at once.

"Hey Bullseye," Someone said from behind me.

"Thanks," I said, giving my prize (a two-foot-tall stuffed horse) to a little girl in a wheel chair.

"That wasn't a complement," the person said. I rolled my eyes and turned around.

"Alex, you have got to stop showing up without telling me," I said, going over to him, kissing each other.

"That was sweet, what you did," He said, pointing to the little girl and her parents.

"She might not know what it is, but I don't need it."

"Cool."

"When did you get here?"

"Ten or fifteen minutes ago. Told you I would stop by on the way back to Piedmont."

"I know, but it's only been two days. I would have thought you would be gone longer."

"So did I," he whispered, a familiar look on his face.

"Wait, what do you mean?" I asked him, leading him towards the main part of the fair. He stopped and pulled me into the woods, away from eyesight.

"WillowIamsosorryWethoughtwehadafewweeksbuteverythingisdifferentnowIdon'tknowhowithappensbutitdidandwecan't…"

"Whoa Alex, slow down and breathe. Now, as much as I wish I could, I can't read minds and I can't understand you when you talk that fast. So I need you to calmly, slowly explain what's going on."

"Okay, yeah, sorry. I don't know what exactly happened, but something changed and we have to be in Seattle in two weeks instead of six. All of our other plans are down the drain too. Fourth of July here, Piedmont for Labor day, it's all gone. I'm so sorry Will."

"I… it's okay," I said, not really meaning, but what else could you say? It's not like what I wanted could change anything.

"You're lying."

"Of course I am! I mean, two days ago I was okay because I knew I would see you again. Of course it affected me, but there was always hope! Now, I don't know when we will see each other, but it's not like either of us wanted it to happen or we can do anything about it! I just-"

"Will, calm down!"

"NO! Don't tell me to calm down Alexander! I can't…" I trailed off when I noticed the look on his face. The last time I called him Alexander was when we broke up because he was worried about our future, and even then I never yelled at him like this. I totally forgot he had never seen my grieving process before. "Oh my God, Alex, I am so sorry. I wasn't yelling at you. I was… that was just part of my grieving process. I'm not creepy for a bit, then the smallest things make me yell like crazy. But I'm not mad at you. I just miss you already." I said, sitting on a log that was on the ground, my head in my hands. Alex sat down next to me and out his arm on my shoulder.

"I miss you to, and I don't want to move, but like you said, it's not like we can do anything. The good news is we're staying here for a few hours. The old bridge that's being replaced about an hour down the road broke and my parents would rather hang out here than sit in a backup until they get a ferry set up."

"Really?" I asked, sitting up. He nodded and we stood up. "Okay, good. In that case, let's get out of here." The two of us walked out of the woods, arms around each other, me waiting for the last part of my grieving process: the crash.

 **Dipper's POV (12:05 PM)**

Willow and I walked away from each other, me catching up with Wendy. "Whoa, check it out!" Wendy said, pointing at a stuffed animal on top of the ball toss booth. "I don't know if it's a duck or a panda, but I want one!"

"Stan taught me the secret to these games," I said, us walking up to the booth. "You aim for the carnie's head and take the prize when he's unconscious." Wendy laughed and I handed the carnie my ticket. "One ball please."

"You only get one shot," he said, handing me the ball. I looked at Wendy, who gave me a thumbs up.

"And-a-one and a-two and a -three!" I said, throwing the ball. It missed, but that wasn't the problem. The problem was it bounced back at us and hit Wendy in the eye.

"MY EYE!" she yelled, throwing her hands to her face.

"Oh my gosh, oh my gosh! Wendy, I'm so sorry! Are you okay?" I asked, giving the carnie the ball back.

"I think so. Does it look swollen?" She asked, taking her hands down. Shit, her eye was already black.

"Everything's gonna be fine! Don't worry! I'll-I'll go get some ice!" I said, running onto the Shack porch. I opened the ice box and grabbed the whole bag, then closed it and ran back through the crowd. As soon as Wendy came into view, I ran into someone, both of us falling, ice going everywhere. "Watch where you're going man!" I said, scooping the ice back into the bag. He grabbed a tape measure and ran off. I got all the ice in the bag and stood up, then stopped.

"Just ease your eyeball into that snow cone," Robbie said, holding a snow cone up to Wendy's eye.

"Thanks Robbie. That's really sweet. The gesture, and the flavored syrup," Wendy said, smiling. Robbie had to be arrogant about it.

"Yeah, I was just here at the right place at the right time. Y'know, I've been meaning to ask you…" _No, oh no, please no_ I thought. "We've been spending a lot of time together and I was wondering if, maybe, you want to go out with me?"

 _Wendy, please say no!_ I pleaded silently. She thought about it for a second, then answered. "Yeah, I guess so."

"Sweet!" I heard a pop from behind me, and felt all the ice fall out of the bag, but didn't move.

"Look Dipper! I won my pet pig!" Mabel said from behind me. I still didn't move. "His name is Waddles. I call him that because he waddles! Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaa-dddddllllleeeeeessssssss!"

"Everything is different now," I whispered, still staring at Wendy and Robbie.

"What are you looking at?" Willow said, Alex beside her. I pointed and Robbie and Wendy, who were getting on the tunnel of love ride. "Oh…"

 **GFF (5:50 PM)**

"Uh, are you gonna move?" Someone asked me. It was starting to get dark, but I had been moping all day. Right now, I was lying on the ski-ball lane.

"Uhhhhhhh…" I said, not moving. The guy walked away disappointed. Out of my peripherals I saw Mabel hold up Waddles.

"Paging Dr. Waddles, we got a boy here with a broken heart. Really, nothing. Come on, these are the jokes," She said, putting Waddles in her lap.

"Mabel, do you ever wish you could go back and undo just one mistake?" I asked. Mabel had been with me most of the time, Willow and Alex hanging out together. They had wanted to stay, but I told them to go have fun.

"Nope! I do everything right the first time!" She said, messing with Waddles.

"You okay Brainiac?" Alex said, he and Willow walking up to me. I started talking to myself instead of to them.

"I mean, Wendy only went out with Robbie because he was there with the ice, and she only needed ice because of the baseball, and I would have had the ice if it wasn't for… THAT GUY!" I sat up and saw the guy I bumped into working on something. "HEY TOOLBELT! You ruined my life!" I yelled, the four of us walking up to him.

"Huh?" He said, turning around. That only made me angrier.

"Don't huh me! I've seen you before! What's your deal? Are you following us around?"

"And why are you bald? What's that about?" Mabel added. He started messing with his watch, muttering to himself.

"My position has been compromised! Assuming stealth mode!" The gray suit he was wearing started changing designs, like an amped up chameleon. The guy grabbed a screwdriver from his tool belt and started messing with his watch, changing his suit back to gray.

"Did that just happen?" Alex asked, a confused look on his face. We had gotten used to the towns weirdness, but this was the first time Alex experienced it first-hand.

"That's amazing! Are you from the future?" Mabel asked. The guy started freaking out.

"NO! Who told you that? MEMORY WIPE!" he said, throwing a wipe onto Mabel's face.

"Uh, dude, that's a baby wipe," Willow said, looking at it. The guy sat down, resigned.

"All right, you've cornered me. I'm a time traveler." He said. Then it hit me.

"So, if you're from the future, do you have a time machine or something?" I asked, my hopes going up.

"That's… kinda how it works," he said, nodding. I looked above him and saw Robbie and Wendy riding the Ferris wheel together.

"Can I borrow it?" I asked. If he was nervous before, he was freaking out big time now.

"NO! Definitely not! Not gonna happen!" He said, grabbing something from his tool belt.

"Come on, can I use your time machine just once?"

"Out of the question! You know, this is sensitive, extremely complicated time equipment," He said, showing me the tape measure he picked up when we bumped into each other.

"Dude, that's a tape measure," Willow said, on the same page as me.

"Okay, I am like, so lost right now. Is any of this making sense to any of you?" Alex asked, a lot more confused than us.

"I think he's just crazy," Mabel whispered. The guy heard us anyway.

"You guys don't believe me?" He asked, pulling the tape measure and disappearing.

"Did he just…?" Alex asked, staring at the spot where the guy had been. Two second after the guy left, he came back, now dressed in really old, renaissance style clothes.

"Guess where I was?" He asked smugly. "15 years ago, there was a costume shop right here! One second," He said, disappearing and reappearing a second later, his normal clothes on fire. "Aw, heck! Pat! Pat down!"

"So, who are you again?" Mabel asked him. He pulled out his ID card and held it up to us.

"Blendin Blandin, Time Anomaly Removal Crew year twenty snyenety-twelve. My mission is to stop a series of time anomalies that are supposed to happen at this very location. But-but I don't see any anomalies! I don't know if it's some kind of paradox, or if I'm just really tired…" He trailed off and sat down. I got an idea.

"You know, you sound like you could use a break," I said. Willow realized where I was going and backed me up.

"Definitely, definitely. Might we recommend one of the various attractions at the Mystery Fair?" He thought about it for a few minutes, then stood up.

"You know what, I'm worth it! But I'm watching you kids!" he said, walking over to the barrel ride, which Soos was running. We couldn't hear everything, but Blendin had to take his belt off for the ride. As soon as he was on the ride, I went over and took the time machine off the barrel, then ran into the Shack, the others following me. As soon as we got in, Alex started asking questions.

"Okay, what the heck is going on? I get you guys don't know much about the whole time travel thing, but your acting like this kind of thing happens every day," he said, the five of us (counting Waddles) walking into the living room.

"That's because it does," Willow said, sitting on the table. "Dipper, it cool if I show him the journal after we go back?"

"Go ahead. I'm just glad we got this," I said, putting the time machine on the table.

"Let's go get two dodos and force them to make out!" Mabel said excitedly.

"NO! We gotta be smart about this. All of that paradox talk kinda freaked me out. All we're gonna do is go back long enough for me to fix my one mistake. If I don't miss that baseball throw, I won't hit Wendy in the eye, and Robbie won't comfort her, and they won't start going out."

"I'm coming too. I wanna relive the greatest moment in my life: winning Waddles!" Mabel said, kissing his face.

"We're coming. We hung out, but I was worried about you, so it wasn't that fun," Willow said, taking Alex's hand.

"Still lost, but sure," Alex said, kissing Willow. I grabbed the time machine and pulled the tape out to six hours, making sure Alex would still be here when we went back.

"See you later," I said, getting ready to push the button.

"See you earlier!" Mabel said, putting Waddles on the floor.

"Really?" Willow asked. The three of them put their hands on my shoulders and I hit the button, the four of us going back in time.

 **Willow's POV (12:00)**

It only felt like a few seconds, but I knew it was a lot longer than that. It felt like we were being sucked into a vacuum. When the feeling stopped, I opened my eyes. We were all in the same position, but Dipper's hat was on fire. "Ah!" Dipper said, patting out the fire. The four of us smiled at each other and went out onto the porch.

"It's 12 o'clock! The dunk tank is now open!" Stan said again. Dipper and Mabel ran to the main part of the fair, Alex and I walking upstairs.

"Okay, what the hell is going on right now? What did you mean when you said this kind of thing happens every day? And what's this about a journal?" Alex asked, following me into the attic.

"Right now, we're back in time," I replied, taking the journal out from under Dipper's bed. "This is the journal we were talking about. It's awesome." I gave him the journal and we sat down, me watching his face as he looked through it.

"Okay, this is really cool. Where did you find this?"

"In the woods. I can show you later."

"Awesome. But what do you mean about this stuff happening every day?"

"This is the simplest way to explain it. We got here the 12th. Found the journal on the 15th. That same day, Mabel got a zombie gnome boyfriend. The 16th, we went fishing and hunted the Gobblewonker."

"Gobble-what now?"

"Gravity Falls Loch Ness Monster. Anyway, 17-19, evil wax figures. 20th and 21st, creepy child psychic. 22nd, haunted convenience store. 23rd, Dipper met some Minotaur creatures. 24th, you were here, but Dipper made a bunch of clones with a magic copier. Yesterday, we met the eighth-and-a-half president of the US. Today, time travel. So that's basically been my life for the past two weeks."

"Now I know what you meant by supernatural central. I can't believe this stuff is real. It sounds like the kind of creepiness you would make up."

"I know, but it's all real. I thought this summer was going to be really boring but it's actually perfect for me. Let's get out of here. I want to win the horse for the girl, then I can show you where we found the journal."

"Awesome. Let's go. I can't believe you guys deal with this stuff every day."

"Me neither, but it's fun, especially when you're here." The two of us went outside and started going towards the archery area, me still waiting for the crash to hit.

 **Dipper's POV (12:05)**

"Hey Wendy!" I said, catching up to her. Mabel had run off to win Waddles, and Willow was showing Alex the journal.

"There you are! What happened to your hat?" Uh-oh, I forgot about the fire.

"Um, nothing. Hey look! What's that?" I said, pointing to the panda-duck on top of the booth.

"Whoa, check it out! I don't know if it's a duck or a panda, but I want one!" She said, us walking up to the booth.

"One ball please," I said, giving the carnie my ticket, which had gotten back in my pocket.

"You only get one chance," he said, giving me the ball.

"That's what you think," I whispered. "Okay Dipper, second chance, don't mess this up again." I threw the ball again, and it only went slightly better. I knocked all the cans down, but the ball hit something behind the stand and hit Wendy in the eye, AGAIN! "What?!" I whispered, Wendy covering her eye again.

"Does it look swollen?" She asked, taking her hands down. I turned around and looked at my hands.

"That's so weird…" I whispered.

"Oh hey Robbie," Wendy said from behind me. I turned around and, sure enough, Robbie was there again, snow cone with him.

"So anyway, we've been hanging out a lot, and I've been wondering if, maybe, you would want to go out with me?" He asked. Wendy thought about it for a second, then agreed, AGAIN, the two of them going into the tunnel of love ride.

"Damn it!" I whisper-shouted, walking around the fair. After a few minutes, I saw Mabel feeding Waddles a caramel apple.

"Hey Dip. How'd it go?" She asked me. I started pacing.

"The exact same thing happened twice; it was spooky," I said, trying to figure it out.

"Maybe it's a time curse! Waddles, can you say time curse?" Mabel asked Waddles. He oinked twice and Mabel picked him up, squeezing his face. "Your face is so fat!"

"Is it possible the forces of time naturally conspire to undo any new outcomes? NO, I just have to keep trying. Where are Willow and Alex?"

"Pretty sure they went to the archery booth," Mabel said, standing up. We went to the archery area, but they weren't there. "Where'd they go?" Mabel asked. I started thinking about what they would be doing.

"If she showed him the journal, then they are probably… follow me," I said, leading Mabel into the woods. Sure enough, Willow was showing Alex where we had found the journal.

"…and the ground opened up, like this," Willow said, the tree door open. She flipped a switch and the hole in the ground opened up. "And the journal was in there."

"HALLO!" Mabel yelled, making them both jump. "And I did that, and you reacted exactly the same way."

"Don't do that!" Willow yelled at her, then turned to me. "Did it work?"

"No, but we're going back and I'm trying again. Third time's the charm!" I said, pulling the tape out again. Willow made the compartment close, then closed the tree door and came over to me. The three of them put their hands on my shoulders again, and I sent us back in time.

 **GFF (11:55)**

Come on! How hard can this be?! I swear, I tried everything! Throwing lefty, standing on the other side of Wendy, but nothing worked! The worse was when the ball broke open a bag of them right above Wendy and all of them fell right on her head. I had probably used that thing five or six times, none of them working out for me. Willow and Alex were off winning the horse, which was perfect for me. Mabel was knitting a sweater of Waddles and I was writing, what I hoped was the solution to my problem on the side of a popcorn machine. "… if I adjust the ball for wind speed… factor in cotton candy…"

"Face it Dipper. You're obviously fated to have a bad day at the fair, just like I'm fated to be with Waddles!" Mabel said, holding up her sweater. I drew an equal sing and stood back.

"It's like there's one variable missing…"

"What's a variable?" Mabel asked, her head popping up next to the equal sign. That made everything click into place,

"THAT'S IT! I figured out a way to win the toss, not hit Wendy, and stop her and Robbie from going out!"

"Great! I'm gonna go win Waddles again," Mabel said, starting to walk away. I grabbed her shoulder and pulled her back.

"You can't leave; I need you for my plan!"

"But what about Waddles?"

"It'll just take a few minutes, let's go!" I said, pulling her in the direction of the Shack, hoping everything would work out like I hoped.

 **GFF (12:05)**

Wendy and I were standing by the game, the baseball in my hand. I was looking at the wind speeds and everything, making sure it would-

"Are you gonna go man?" Wendy asked me. I nodded and pulled my arm back, looking at the top of the tent.

"And a-one and a-two and a-uh!" I said, throwing the ball straight into the air.

"Dude, you missed!" Wendy said, watching the ball.

"Did I?" I asked smugly, both of us looking at it. The ball rolled down the side of the tent then flew into the air, heading towards the Shack. We lost sight of it, but then it came back, heading towards the target on the dunk tank. Of course, it didn't do anything. It bounced back, knocked the pizza out of some guy's hand, hit the ice off Robbie's snow cone, and started coming right at us. Wendy and I ducked out of the way and the ball knocked down all the cans, then flew up and out of the tent. _Just like I planned_ I thought excitedly.

"Your stuffed creature of indeterminate species miss," The carnie said, giving Wendy the prize.

"Awesome!" She said, hugging it. Man, she is cute when she's excited. I took my hat off and the ball dropped into it. That part wasn't planned, but it happened, which I was happy for.

"There you are Wendy!" Robbie said from behind us, holding his now empty cone in his hand. "So I was wondering if I… or you a-"

"Look what Dipper got for me!" Wendy interrupted him, holding out the Panda-Duck.

"Whatever. Can't even tell what species it is. Stupid," Robbie said, pulling his hood over his face and walking away from us.

"What's his deal? Looks like I came to the fair with the right guy," Wendy said, both of us walking towards the Tunnel of Love ride. I turned around and saw Mabel walking up to me. I gave her a thumbs up and she smiled back at me.

"Any time broseph," She said, me turning back around. Wendy and I got on the ride and had gone around three times when Wendy noticed the funnel cake sign.

"Funnel cake! Let's go get some Dipper!" She yelled, running off the ride. I was about to follow her when someone started screaming from behind me. I turned around and saw Mabel running up to me, Willow and Alex behind her.

"What's-" I started, but Mabel screamed again and cut me off. "Mabel what's-" She cut me off again. I looked at Willow and Alex, both shaking their heads. "I'll just wait until you're done."

"I'm done," she said, not screaming anymore.

"Okay, what is wrong?"

"We messed up the timeline! Pacifica saw the flyer and won Waddles before I did! She TOOK Waddles Dipper!" Mabel yelled at me, hysterical.

"I'm sorry Mabel."

"It's okay. We just need to go back and do things differently," She said, taking the time machine from me. I grabbed it back from her.

"Mabel, wait. I did the math. In any other timeline, Wendy ends up going out with Robbie. I can't mess this day up again!"

"Fine, then go back and have Willow or Alex help you!"

"No! Then neither will work!"

"Not even if Mabel helps you and one of us win Waddles?" Willow asked.

"Not even then. If we go, nothing will work out right!"

"But if we don't go I'll lose Waddles forever!" Mabel reached over and tried to take the time machine from me. I pulled back and we started wrestling for the machine, Willow and Alex trying to pull us apart. The four of us fell in a pile and the end of the tape got stuck on a car, pulling it out a long way. Willow reached over and got it unhooked, but accidentally hit the reverse button, sending the four of us back in time.

The now familiar vacuum feeling returned, but this time it lasted longer. When it ended, the four of us fell onto a dirt path. We stood up and dusted off, then looked around. It looked like the outskirts of town, but I knew it wasn't. "When are we?"

"The real question is: when are we?" Mabel asked, then realized I had already said that. "Wait, did you… yeah, alright."

"Do you guys hear that?" Alex asked, looking down the path. It sounded like a loud boom of thunder, but there wasn't a cloud in the sky. Suddenly, the ground started shaking like during an earthquake. Willow ran up the hill, then cursed and ran back towards us.

"STAMPEDE! Run for it!" She yelled, running down the path. Mabel grabbed the time machine and took off, Alex and I following them. I looked back and saw a herd of Buffalo running after us, then turned back around and ran even faster. We started running up a hill, then the ground disappeared from under us. We grabbed onto each other and fell through a tarp, landing on bags of flour, scared but alive.

"Forge ahead mighty oxen, for a new life awaits us on this Oregon Trail," someone said, a bullwhip cracking. We stood up and dusted off, realizing we were in and old covered wagon. Well, most of us did.

"Where are we? The 70s?" Mabel asked, looking around. Willow smacked the back of her head.

"We got sent back 150 years' genius. It's pioneer times!"

"By Trembley!" The wagon driver said, facing us. "Fertilia, it seems you've given birth to four more children."

"It appears I have," a woman in the back of the wagon said, a bunch of children around her. "More little hands to render the tallow."

"Tallow? What?" Mabel asked. A boy about our age pointed at Mabel's mouth.

"Her mouth is filled with silver mother!"

"These are called braces," Mabel said, smiling for him.

"Mabel, we can't start messing with the past!" I told her, trying to grab the time machine. She pulled it away from me and took out a calculator.

"This coming from the guy who messed with the past all day and cost me my pig? I'll mess with whatever I want!" She said, handing the calculator to the boy. "Check it out! A magic button machine! Shoes that blink!" She stomped on the floor and made her shoes light up, then ran over to the mother. I took the calculator from the boy, then took the time machine from Mabel.

"I'm gonna set the timeline right!" I said, pulling out the tape. Willow and Alex grabbed my shoulder as Mabel tried to take the machine back from me. I hit the button and we ended up in front of a dinosaur.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!" We screamed, grabbing each other. I pulled out the tape and hit the button, not knowing where it was set, but nothing could be worse than here. We landed in the ruins of a future-looking town.

"RUN! IT'S COMING!" Someone yelled, shooting a laser gun at a giant floating baby who was destroying everything in sight with laser vision. (Is it bad that this makes sense?)

"This future seems neat!" Mabel said. I started hitting buttons on the time machine, sending us to the day we went fishing. "I'M COMING WADDLES!" Mabel yelled, running away, time machine in her hand. Willow, Alex and I caught up to her, sending us to the Wax Museum reopening day. I tripped over a wire and lost my shoe, then stood up and sent us to when past us were fighting the gnomes. Mabel pulled out the tape and sent us back in time. The Mystery Shack was in the clearing, but there was snow everywhere. Mabel started throwing the time machine from hand to hand, a blue glow coming from it.

"WHAT DID YOU DO?!" I asked her, the four of us stopping and looking at it.

"I DON'T KNOW!" She replied, the glow getting brighter. We all screamed and grabbed each other, ending up surrounded by darkness, crammed together.

"Where are we?" Mabel asked, moving a bit.

"There's nothing but inky blackness for miles!" I said, seeing nothing.

"What does that mean?"

"It means we've transported to the end of time!" Willow said, the four of us screaming.

"Wait, why does it smell so bad in here?" Alex asked. I felt around and my hand touched something that felt like a handle. I turned it and light spilled in, allowing us to see that we were in a Port-a-Potty, the fair set up around us. "Good, we're back."

"But which back are we in?" I asked, knowing it could easily be anything. Thank God, Wendy had the Panda-Duck. Then I noticed Pacifica with Waddles and so did Mabel.

"Dipper, give me that!" She yelled, chasing me around the Port-a-Potty. I climbed on top of it and looked down at her.

"Mabel, it's over, okay? Give it up! I've worked too hard to lose this!"

"But what about Waddles? He was my soul mate!" She said, almost in tears.

"You said that about a ball of yarn once! Do you really want Wendy to date Robbie?"

"I don't know…" she said, walking over to the totem pole and hitting her head against it repeatedly.

"Mabel, you're not guilt tripping me. Not this time," I said, getting down. I walked over to her, but she continued to hit her head on the pole. I took the time machine out and looked at Willow and Alex, who both shook their heads. "Come on Mabel, I know you. You're gonna forget about this in a day. Watch." I set the time machine for a day and went into the future, alone. "See?"

Instead of her being gone, she was still hitting her head against the pole, Willow sitting on the ground next to her. "Okay, maybe you'll forget in a week," I said, going forward a week. Still nothing.

"I give up," Willow said, walking past me. "She's not gonna get over this."

"A month! She'll be better in a month!" I said, going forward a month. Mabel was still there, vines growing up her legs and snails on her shoulders.

"Waddles… Waddles…" She said, banging her head against the totem pole each time. Soos came up leading a tour group.

"And here you see Miserable Mabel, the girl whose dreams were shattered by some heartless jerk. Hey Dipper!" He added, noticing me. I pulled the tape out to a month and hit the reverse button.

When the vacuum feeling ended, Wendy and I were walking up to the ball toss booth. "I don't know if it's a duck or a panda, but I want one!" Wendy said excitedly. I gave the carnie my ticket and took the ball, then looked at Wendy.

"Wendy, I just wanted to say that people make mistakes, and when they do, you should forgive them. Also, tight pants are overrated." I knew that last bit wouldn't work, but I had to try something.

"Dude, you lost me," Wendy said, a slightly confused look on her face.

"I know," I sighed, uncaringly throwing the ball. It bounced back and hit Wendy in the eye, just like the first time it happened.

"AUUGH! MY EYE!" She said, holding her hands up to her face.

"Hey, are you okay?" Robbie asked her, holding the snow cone up to her eye and leading her away. "You know; this is the perfect time for me to ask you something…"

"It is done," I sighed. I started walking away from the booth, but got tackled in a hug.

"THANKYOUTHANKYOUTHANKYOUTHANKYOU!" Mabel said, lifting me up, Waddles beside her. He oinked happily. "He's saying thank you in Pig! Aren't you Waddles?" He repeated his happy oink three more times.

"I couldn't break your heart Mabel," I said, Willow and Alex coming up next to us.

"Hey, look!" Willow said, pointing at Pacifica who was being pecked by a chicken. The four of us laughed, me feeling a bit better.

"Besides, there's no way Wendy can date Robbie all summer, right?" I asked.

"YOU FOUR!" Someone said from behind us, taking the time machine from me. We turned around and saw Blendin glaring at us, anger clear in his face. "Do you have any idea how many rules you just broke?! I'm asking… I wasn't there with you…it was probably a lot right?" He asked. Two guys materialized next to him, hands on his shoulders.

"Blendin Blandin…" The darker one said, his voice exaggeratedly deep.

"AAAAGH! The Time Paradox Avoidment Enforcement Squadron!" Blendin said, trying to escape.

"That's right!" The lighter one said, his voice just as deep as the first. "Our phones have been ringing off the hook! There are settler's high-fiving in the 1800's and calculators littered through eight centuries!"

"You're under arrest for violation of the Time Traveler's Code of Conduct," The first one said, putting handcuffs on Blendin and leading him away.

"It was those kids! And their leader Waddles!" Blendin yelled, trying to escape again.

"That's a pig Blendin," The second one said, holding Blendin back.

"I'll get you for this! I'll go back in time and make sure your parents never MEET!" Blendin yelled at us, kicking and screaming. We waited a few seconds, but nothing happened.

"We're still here," I said, the four of us going towards the snow cone stand.

"Guess he forgot to go back," Mabel added, paying for all of our snow cones. We walked over to the dunk tank, where Stan was laughing at the crowd.

"Suckers! Your pockets are empty and I'm still sitting high and dry!" He said, the crowd booing him. He pointed into the crowd at the guys who were taking Blendin away. "Hey biceps, haircut! Take your best shot!" The lighter guy pulled out a laser gun and blasted the target, making Stan fall in the water and the crowd to applaud. The guys hit a button on their suits and disappeared, taking Blendin with them.

The four of us started walking around the fair, eating our snow cones. "So I guess we never found out who was causing those time anomalies Blendin was looking for," Mabel said after a minute. Willow stopped walking, realization on her face.

"I think it was us," she said. Alex started rubbing the bridge of his nose.

"I'm gonna have a headache after this," he muttered. I looked over them and saw Robbie feeding Wendy a caramel apple.

"Geez, I gotta deal with this all summer?" The others looked in the same direction as me, and Mabel put Waddles on the ground.

"I'm on it," She said, letting Waddles run after the apple. Robbie got scared and dropped it, backing up into a table. The table had a bucket of hot water on it, which spilled all over his legs.

"My pants! They're shrinking!" He yelled, curling up in the fetal position. Everyone who was within earshot started pointing and laughing at him. I looked down and smiled at Waddles.

"That'll do, pig. That'll do."

 **Willow's POV (7:00)**

Alex and I had spent the rest of the day together, not talking about what we would do, just walking around and having fun together. The light had started to fail about a half hour ago, so the archery booth had shut down. We had been shooting arrows at the target for the past half hour when his phone beeped.

"Hey Will, I gotta go. My parents are coming to pick me up any minute," he said, kissing me.

"Already, but it's only been seven hours!" I complained, knowing we had actually had more time than that. He nodded and we walked onto the driveway, arms around each other. The fair was still open, but most of the food stands were getting packed up.

"I'm gonna miss you Bullseye," Alex said, kissing me again

"I'm gonna miss you to. Come visit as many times as you can."

"Believe me, I will, even if I have to sneak out and hitchhike. Nothing is going to stop me from seeing you again."

"You have got to be the sweetest boy in the world."

"And you are-" He got cut off by a horn honking and a car pulling up, the passenger side window rolled down.

"Alex, you ready?" Mrs. Roberts asked him.

"Not really," He said, wrapping his arms around me and squeezing. "Can I keep her?"

"You've gotta go man," I said, pushing him towards the car. "I'm gonna miss you, I already do, but you're delaying the inevitable. I knew this was coming sooner or later, and I am 99% sure this will not be our last adventure together."

"I love you Bullseye."

"I love you too, but this isn't the end. We're gonna be fine."

"How are you so cool about this?" He asked me. I shook my head and pushed him to the car. He opened the door and blew me a kiss, then got in and shut it, rolling his window down.

"I LOVE YOU!" He yelled, the car pulling out of the driveway, his head popping out the window.

"I LOVE YOU TOO!" I yelled back, us waving at each other. I waved until the car went out of sight. Then the crash came.

It's like when there's a storm directly overhead, and you're just standing there waiting for it to start raining. When it does, it pours and practically drowns you. That's exactly how it was for me. Everything Alex and I used to do together- archery practice, weekend camping trips, cookouts, just being together- all that was gone now. Sure, we would see each other, but it's not going to ever be exactly the same.

When a storm that powerful starts, the only thing for you to do is run for cover, which is exactly what I did. I ran into the Shack and up to the attic, then flopped down on my bed, crying into my pillow. Dipper and Mabel were still out enjoying the fair, which was fine with me. After what was only five minutes, but felt like five hours, I rolled over on my side and noticed the blueprint.

Yesterday I had found a blueprint for an amped up crossbow, which was supposed to make more shots at farther distances. I hadn't done much because of the fair, but I figured now would be the best time to start working on it. I stood up and wrote _Crashed. Working on BP in Wax Room_ on a piece of paper and stuck it on the table. I grabbed the blueprint, went outside and got the crossbow, then went back inside to the Wax Room.

Stan had turned the Wax Room into a storage area/workshop, old exhibits on tables everywhere. There was one table that was mostly empty, so I got set up there. I knew I would be working on this for a while, but I wasn't concerned. I just needed a distraction from, well, you know what. So I didn't think. I just stared working on my project, waiting out the storm until it passes.

* * *

 **So, that ending got really emotional, but I'm proud of it. I don't know if you guys caught it or not, but Willow's lack of creepiness is part of her grieving process; that's why she wasn't creepy last chapter. It showed that no matter what she said, Alex's news did affect her.**

 **Now then, with Willow and Alex being added as a part of the time travel, that might have been confusing for some of you, so I'm going to try to explain it. Willex were at the archery booth when Dipper threw the ball and Mabel won Waddles. The archery booth was away from the main part of the fair. Willex and the booth are what I wrote, not a part of the actual show. That's why it would not work if either helped Dipper. Them being away from the main part of the fair allowed Alex Hirsch's plotline to function the same way it did in the show.**

 **Hopefully that helps clear it up if you were confused. It took me a while to figure it out, but Saul'keth gave me an idea that helped me get it to work. You guys will definitely want to take look at his Stronger Than You story; IT'S THE BEST! FAIR WARNING- BRING TISSUES! Anyway, please review, tell me what you thought, PM me if you are still confused, and I'll see you on June 4** **th** **. Oh! And my congrats to all the Seniors who graduated/are graduating! Enjoy your future!**


	9. Fight Fighters

**Thanks to those of you who read the last chapter. I love writing this story, and adding Willow (and Alex) is so much fun, and I'm glad I get to share my creation with you. Now; SHOUT OUTS!**

 **Gamelover41592- I was trying to hit people's feels, and apparently it worked. And that was one of my fav episodes as well, so aside from the time travel technicalities, it was easy to write.**

 **Lula Bear- Thank you, and I love it too.**

 **Disclaimer: I only own Willow, her comments, and the adjustments to the crossbow. Everything else came from the mind of Alex Hirsch.**

* * *

 **Mabel's POV (June 27** **th** **)**

"What are we doing here?" Willow complained. She needed some parts for the crossbow, so the five of us (Her, Grunkle Stan, Soos, Dipper and I) had gone into town. Soos had brought us all to the arcade, despite Willow's complaints. "If I had known it would take this long, I would have gotten the parts myself."

"Kid, you were up until two working on that thing, then you passed out on the table," Grunkle Stan said. Willow rubbed the side of her face where she had table marks on it.

"You needed a break and this is my favorite place in Gravity Falls. Everything I know, I learned right here," Soos said, showing the three of us around. (Wendy was here so Dipper had run off with her.) "A frog taught me how to cross the street. When my house was haunted, I learned how to eat ghosts. And this thing taught me how to dance," He said, pointing at an old dancing machine.

"I been jiggin' for seven days straight!" Old Man McGucket yelled, dancing even though the machine was out of order. Willow picked up the plug and arched her eyebrow.

"Soos, really?"

"Just let him have this," Soos said, us walking around. I saw a game that had 'Insert Token' on the screen. I shrugged and put one in the machine.

"Congratulations! You win!" The machine said. _I could do this all day!_ I thought, putting another coin in.

 **Dipper's POV**

"DR. KARATE! YOU KILLED MY FATHER AGAIN!" My character yelled. Wendy and I were playing a game called Fight Fighters. It was pretty standard game; you controlled your character and they fought either another player or the game. But Wendy and I were having fun together and after yesterday, I wanted to have as much time with her as possible.

"HHNNGHHHH!" Wendy's character, Dr. Karate replied.

"YOU WILL TAKE THAT BAAACKKK!" My character, Rumble McSkirmish yelled, our fight beginning. We were both pretty good, but eventually I overpowered Wendy knocked out her character. "WINNERS DON'T LOSE!"

"What? You cheated!" Wendy said, glaring at me playfully.

"YOU WILL TAKE THAT BAAACK!" I said, imitating Rumble. During two player, it was best 2 out of 3, so the second round started automatically.

"I'm gonna punch the ref," Wendy said, making her character move but not hit me.

"Let's gang up on him," I said, doing moves of my own, looking as if we were really punching the ref. Eventually, she won the round with an insane combo, causing us both to laugh.

"Wendy! What's up babe?" Robbie asked us before round three could start. Come on! Every time Wendy and I hang out, he shows up! I swear, that guy is stalking her! "Yeah, just putting up some flyers for my band. I'm playing lead guitar. No biggie," he said, showing us the flyers he was hanging up.

"Are you wearing mascara?" I asked.

"It's eye paint for men," he said, putting the flyers in his hoodie. Sure…

"Hey Robbie. Dipper was showing me this great game," Wendy said excitedly.

"Yeah, yeah, sweet, sweet. How's about you sit this one out, 'kay champ?" Robbie said, taking my place at the game.

"But we just started this round," I said, trying to get in front of him.

"Whoa, hey man, relax! I'm just trying to spend a little time with my girlfriend, alright?"

"It'll just be one round," Wendy said, the two of them starting their game. A few seconds in Wendy started talking to Robbie. "So I'm going camping tomorrow with my dad and brothers so I won't be around."

"Cool, cool, WATCH OUT!" Robbie said, continuing with the game, wrapping his arm over Wendy's shoulders, glaring at me in the process. I glared back at him, then the game said exactly what I was thinking.

"Opponent sighted! Fight!"

 **GFF (June 28** **th** **)**

"King me!" Mabel said excitedly. Her, Stan, Soos and I were playing poker and right now, Mabel was kicking our butts. She held out her cards, revealing two kings.

"Come on! She doesn't even know what we're playing!" Stan said, throwing his cards on the floor.

"Go fish?" Mabel guessed.

"It's your fault. She stinks at most games, but cards are like second nature to her," I said, shuffling the deck.

"Grunkle Stan," Willow said, walking into the room. "Do you have any small metal pieces around here? Also, can I use the blowtorch?"

"Maybe, and yes," Stan said, opening his supply cabinet. After a few seconds, he gave Willow a few metal wall hooks. "Blowtorch is in the closet in your workshop. But if you end up losing a finger, as far as your parents are concerned, I never gave you permission to use that thing."

"Got it," She said, walking back towards her workshop. She stopped in the doorway and turned back around. "Do you guys here that?" It sounded like a rock concert was being played right outside the shack.

"I think I'm picking up a radio station inside my head," Soos said confused.

"Try blinking to see if you can change the channel," Mabel said. Soos did that but we could still hear the music.

"WEEEEENDY!" Someone yelled from outside.

"Ugh, sounds like Robbie," I complained, standing up.

"He called me 'Big Dude' once. I know I'm a big dude but it kinda hurt," Soos said, rubbing his stomach.

"Robbie? Is he that jerky twerp I see making goo-goo eyes at Wendy all the time?" Stan asked us.

"That's the one. How mad would you be if I used the blowtorch to burn off his-"

"OR, I could just sic Waddles on him again!" Mabel said, interrupting Willow.

"Don't worry, I'll handle this," I said, walking outside. Robbie was in the driveway and had his guitar plugged into an amp.

"Wendy! Wendy! C'mon out girl! C'mon down!" He said, stopping when he noticed me.

"You realize she's not here right?" I asked him, crossing my arms.

"Yes!... What?" He asked, putting his guitar down.

"She's out camping with her family today. And if you listened to her for once you'd know that," I whispered the last bit, but he still heard me.

"What was that?" He growled.

"I just said she's not here," I said, backing up.

"No, no, no! You want to get into it, huh? Let's get into it, kid! You think I don't know what's been going on, huh? It's obvious you've got a thing for my girlfriend, don't you? Don't you?!"

"What? No! C'mon man!"

"Yeah, I'm sure she's just DYING to ask out a 12-year old kid who wears the exact same shorts every day. Hey, here's an idea," He pulled out his phone. "Why don't I call her right now and see if she wants to go out on a date with you?"

"Hey! Look man! Don't! You don't have to-!"

"Oh! Don't! Please man! What're you gonna do, huh? What, huh?" Just then Wendy's voice came on over his phone. I panicked and slapped the phone out of Robbie's hand, breaking it. "My phone!"

"I-I'll buy you a new one!" I offered. He grabbed my collar and lifted me up.

"You're not getting off the hook that easy!" He said, pulling his fist back.

"HEY!" Stan yelled, his head poking out of the window. "I know a fight when I see one! Stay right there!" He went back in the shack and Robbie threw me on the ground.

"You. Me. Circle Park. 3 o'clock. We finish this," Robbie said, walking away from me. I stood up and dusted off, then went back inside.

"He left! I was gonna call the boys over to place a few bets. Smart money is on skinny jeans," Stan said as I walked in, a bucket of popcorn in his arms. I started pacing back and forth, talking to myself.

"What was I thinking?! I can't fight! I've never been in a fight before! Look at these noodle arms!" I said, waving my arms around.

"Just take a frying pan and bonk him over the head! It's nature's snooze button!" Stan said.

"Boys! Why can't you just learn to hate each other in secret? Like girls do!" Mabel told me, making Stan laugh.

"Sure listen to your sister! Maybe you can share dresses too! BOOM!"

"Mabel, tell that 'hate each other in secret' thing to Pacifica and let me know how that goes," Willow said, walking into the room. "Dipper, you could just use the blowtorch."

"No way. I don't want to hurt him. Maybe he'll just forget about it. Maybe it'll all blow over," I said, calming down a bit, until Soos jumped into the conversation.

"I don't know dude. Teens are dangerous. Those hormones turn them into killing machines!" He said, me backing up.

"Really?"

"Oh yeah, dude. My cousin Reggie's friend got in a fight with a teen once. The guy broke like, all his arms, all his legs, and I think, killed him or something, I don't know. Me and Reggie were just talking about it," he said, me backing into a corner.

"I can't stay here! What if Robbie comes back?! I gotta hide!" I decided, but Stan made me think for a second.

"Look, kid. You got yourself a choice here. You can either go face him like a man, or you can hide indoors like a wimp. What'll it be?"

 **GFF**

"Wimp it is," Soos said. He had given me a ride to the arcade. Right now he was playing a pinball game and I was hiding under it.

"C'mon Soos, Robbie's like twice my size," I said, getting up and walking around. "I mean, what will me getting myself killed accomplish? I just need to hide here until 3 o'clock passes." I looked at my watch, which read 11:30. "Ugggh, this day will never end."

"Relax dude. Just try not to think about Robbie," Soos said, walking to a different game. I nodded, then screamed when I saw a bunch of Robbie's posters on the wall. I sighed and went to the back room to play Fight Fighters.

"Stupid Robbie. Such a jerk!" I said, playing the first round. Since I was worried about Robbie, I lost the round pretty fast.

"A WINNER NEVER RUNS AWAY FROM A FIGHT!" Rumble said when the game offered me to continue.

"That's easy for you to say, you have more than one life. I wish one of these guys could fight Robbie for me," I said, about to put another coin in. I dropped it and it rolled towards the back of the machine. When I bent down to pick it up, I noticed some writing on the side of the game. I rubbed the dust off and saw that the writing was a series of moves on the game. "'To unleash ultimate power?' I do like thing that are ultimate," I said, doing the moves. "Back, back, hold, forward, back, forward, down, hold, quarter circle, forward, triple punch!" The machine shut down. "I guess that didn't work," I said, the machine coming back to life, the light ten times brighter.

"SELECT YOUR CHARACTER!" The game said, all of the characters appearing.

"Umm, Rumble McSkirmish?" I said. The screen flared and Rumble came out of the game. "Whoa! Your real? HIGH FIVE!" I said, him giving me one. I pulled my hand back fast and started rubbing it. "Dude, your pixels are really sharp! Ow!"

"GREETINGS, CHILD-BOY! I AM RUMBLE MCSKIRMISH, FROM THE U.S.A! PUNCH! KICK! PUNCH! KICK!" He said, kicking my cheek the second time.

"Ow! Coool!" I said, rubbing my cheek, Rumble looking around.

"CHANGE MACHINE! CHANGE ME INTO A POWERFUL WOLF!" Rumble said, smashing the machine.

"With Rumble around, Robbie will be so scared, I won't even need to fight him. I've got the world's greatest fighter to be my bodyguard!" I said to myself. Rumble flashed red twice.

"I need power ups!" He said, looking around.

"This is so amazing! I gotta show Soos!" I said, leading Rumble into the main room. "Soos?" I called, not seeing him. "Looks like we're walking," I told Rumble, leading him back to the shack. Surprisingly, no one said anything to us the entire way back. When we got back, Mabel was doing something with Stan and Willow was in her workshop, so I was able to get Rumble in no problem. I lead him to the kitchen and started looking through the fridge.

"We don't have any traditional power ups: turkey legs, pizza boxes or gold rings," I called over my shoulder. "How about half a taco?" I said, pulling it out and showing him.

"Place it on the floor," he said. I did and he made it disappear then reappear in his power up menu.

"I wish I could do that!" I said excitedly.

"Now I must defeat the world's greatest fight-fighters. Take me to the Soviet Union!" How old is Rumble's game?

"That's gonna be tough… for a number of reasons," I said, pulling out one of Robbie's flyers. "But I do know a fighter here in Gravity Falls."

"Maximum power?"

"His name is Robbie V. and he's kinda like my arch enemy."

"Did he kill you father?" Okay…

"He's dating the girl I like and he posts a really annoying amount of status updates."

"And then he killed your father!" Rumble said, crumpling the flyer.

"Yeah, sure. I was hoping you could scare him off for me so I don't have to fight him." Rumble started laughing.

"Your question makes my shoulders bounce! Fire ball! Uppercut! Downer-cut!" He said, doing the moves, then reaching into the fridge and pulling out a bowl of punch from the party last week. "Bowl of PUNCH!" He yelled, drinking the rest of it then breaking the bowl.

"So you'll protect me from Robbie?"

"Challenge accepted! Press start!" He said, making a start button appear. I shrugged and pushed the button, then heard footsteps.

"I think I hear my uncle. Stay perfectly still!" I told Rumble. He got in a fighting stance, but then started rocking back and forth. "I said stay still."

"This is as still as I can stay!" He replied. I lead him into the hallway, past Willow's workshop.

"HEY DIPPER!" She yelled, turning off the blowtorch and putting her goggles on her forehead. "Who's you friend?" She asked.

"Willow, Rumble McSkirmish, my new bodyguard. Rumble, this is my sister Willow."

"I'm not even gonna ask," She said, turning the blowtorch back on. I lead Rumble up to the attic, where Mabel was pacing back and forth.

"Hey Mabel. Have you met Rumble yet? He's my new bodyguard. Rumble, this is my other sister Mabel."

"The child gave me a taco!" Rumble said. Mabel grinned and started writing on a piece of paper.

"He's got a crazy voice! Say these words," she said, giving him the paper.

"Effer-vescent! Apple fritter! RIBOFLAVIN!" He said, reading the words.

"Mabel, he's not a toy. He's a fighting machine. I'm gonna get him to defend me from Robbie," I told her.

"Isn't that kinda like cheating?" She asked.

"I guess so," I said, then shrugged. "Well, I'll see you after the fight!"

"POOP! POOP AND BUTTS!" Rumble said as I lead him outside and back into town. We were walking on Main Street when Rumble started asking me questions about Robbie.

"Tell me my opponent's special moves," he said, punching the air.

"Don't worry. As soon as he sees you, he's gonna wet his pants," I replied.

"His wet pants will be no match FOR THIS!" Rumble said, waving a metal pipe around.

"Whoa! Where did you get that?"

"I punched an oil drum!"

"Trust me, you won't need that. Just give him a good scare."

"Yes…" Rumble tossed the pipe behind him and picked up a sword, swinging it around. "WITH THIS!"

"This street has really dangerous litter," I commented to myself. I looked at my watch again and saw that we still had twenty minutes until the fight was supposed to start. I lead Rumble to the park and had him punch a few trees to get warmed up. At 2:55 I took him to Circle Park and had him hide under a tree. Robbie was already there, walking back and forth. "When I snap, come out, got it?"

"I got this!" Rumble replied, cracking his knuckles. I nodded, then walked towards Robbie, the clock tower ringing three times.

"Well, well, well! Look who decided to show up! I thought you chickened out. You ready to settle this like men?" He asked me, getting into a fighting pose, his fists up.

"Look dude, I don't think you want to fight me. Let's just call this thing off before someone gets hurt," I told him, holding my hands up.

"You scared huh? Is that it?" Robbie asked me. I shrugged; I had given him a chance.

"Okay dude, you asked for it!" I said, snapping. Rumble came out and stood between me and Robbie, his fists up.

"Who's your friend? And why is he blurry?" Robbie asked, putting his fists down.

"This happens to be the greatest warrior that ever lived!" I replied cockily. Robbie just laughed.

"Yeah, right! Hey Eye Patch, what did the kid promise you? More tape for your forearms?"

"HOW CAN YOU LAUGH, WHEN YOU KILLED THIS BOY'S FATHER?!" Rumble asked him.

"Wait, what?"

"I'm giving you one last chance, back down, or this guy's gonna go nuts."

"How 'bout YOU back down kid?" Robbie said, holding his fists up again.

"You asked for it. Rumble, go ahead!" I said, backing up. Robbie laughed, then ducked, avoiding Rumble's punch by a few inches. He tried to run away but Rumble grabbed the back of his collar and lifted him in the air. "I warned you man. I didn't wanna have to do this, but you gave me no choice. Maybe now you-"

"HA HA!" Rumble laughed, throwing Robbie on the ground. I heard a very loud, very painful-sounding pop.

"Whoa! Rumble, you can stop! Robbie's had-"

"RUMBLE THROW!" Rumble said, picking Robbie up and throwing him a good twenty feet onto the metal bars.

"THAT GUY'S CRAZY!" Robbie yelled, jumping down and landing on the ground, his hands grabbing his ankle.

"FIREBALL!" Rumble yelled, shooting a fireball at Robbie. Thank God, he missed. He did hit the metal bars, but Robbie didn't get torched. _Probably would have been better off to bring the blowtorch_ I thought, watching Robbie run away limping.

"Rumble, what the heck was that? I told you to scare him, not kill him!" I told Rumble. The anger was coming off of him so clearly a blind man could see it.

"I WILL NOT REST UNTIL THE MAN WHO DISHONORED YOU IS DESTROYED!" Rumble yelled, punching a phone pole with Robbie's poster on it. He growled and took off after Robbie.

"This isn't good," I said, running after them. I kept track of Rumble through the park, but once he got into town, I lost him. I decided to go to the most likely place he would be; Barrels and Crates Inc. Sure enough, I could see flashes and hear cracking wood coming from inside.

"Chill out man! Just chill out!" Robbie yelled, climbing out of a broken window and starting down a fire escape. Rumble followed him out and grabbed a barrel, throwing it at him. It missed and splintered into pieces right in front of me.

"Rumble, you've gotta stop!" I yelled up. He started throwing barrels down the fire escape, Robbie jumping over them like Donkey Kong. Robbie got down and ran past me, looking behind him.

"CONTROL YOU'RE FRIEND!" Robbie yelled as Rumble got down and started chasing him.

"Rumble wait!" I yelled, taking off. "You don't have to do this! At least pace yourself…" I stopped when I got a cramp, the took off again. I'm a pretty good runner when I can pace myself, but sprinting over long distances makes me get tired fast. I was able to keep up with them for a bit, but eventually I started losing ground.

"ALL YOU CAN EAT!" I heard Rumble yell. I saw a bunch of people getting barbecue, but the grill had been smashed. I grabbed a water from someone's hand, drank half then poured the rest on my head. I got caught back up, but then had to stop on the corner. I was about to start running again, but stopped when I heard a car honking.

"Hey Dipper!" Soos said, pulling up in in his pick-up.

"Soos, where've you been?" I asked him, leaning into the truck.

"Long story dude!" Soos said pointing at the game frame around his neck. Then he pointed down the street in the direction Rumble went. "Dude, did you see that video game guy tearing up everything in sight?"

"Yeah, I sorta kinda brought him to life to be my bodyguard. But now I have to stop him before he kills Robbie!" I told Soos, knowing he would help me. Soos reached over and opened the door.

"You need an amiable sidekick with a pickup truck?" He asked.

"You know I do," I said, getting into the truck. Soos started driving, border-line getting pulled over. Good news was that it was easy to follow them. Rumble had destroyed most of everything he passed, so we were able to easily follow them to the water tower.

"Time to save the day dude," Soos told me as I jumped out of his truck. I nodded and ran over to Rumble who was standing under the water tower, which was where Robbie had 'hidden.'

"YOU CAN HIDE BUT YOU CANNOT HIDE!" Rumble yelled, kicking the water tower.

"Of course not! This thing is on stilts!" I heard Stan yell. I looked up and saw him and Mabel on the balcony, both holding onto the railing in a death grip. The tower started rocking even harder, making Robbie fall off the tower. Just before he hit the ground, Rumble grabbed his hoodie, holding him off the ground.

"FINISH HIM!" Someone said. Rumble started making a fireball. I looked on the ground and picked up a coin, throwing it at Rumble's head. He vaporized his fireball and turned around.

"RUMBLE!" I yelled, throwing the two planks I made a cut scene with behind me. "Rumble, I have something to tell you! Robbie… Robbie didn't kill my father."

"HUUUUUUUUUUH? Then who did?" He asked me.

"What? No! No one! I-I lied to you," I said, knowing this was going to go south.

"Well then you're actually a BAD GUY!"

"I guess I kinda am…" I trailed off and got myself ready to fight. Rumble hung Robbie's hood on a tree branch, then hung his head, his voice coming from somewhere.

 _My entire journey, a lie! My honor has been disgraced! Sensei warned me not to join the path of evil... the boy has led me astray!_ Rumble lifted his head up and glared at me. "If Robbie V. is not the last stage then it must be YYYYYOOOOOUUUUU!" He yelled, making a start button appear next to me.

"Don't fight him dude!" Soos yelled, running up to me. "That's guys got a black belt wrapped around his black belt. You could get killed!"

"I have to. I started all this and I've got to at least try to stop it," I said, my head hanging down. I had decided I would do whatever it takes to defeat Rumble after he took things too far in the park. Was I going to die? Probably, but I knew as soon as he won, the game would be over.

"You sure you don't wanna hide like a wimp?" Soos asked. I punched out my fist and hit the start button, simultaneously signing my death warrant. "Fight like a man it is."

I looked up and saw health bars fill up above us. I held up my fists, then matched Rumble's fighting pose. "FIGHT!" The announcer said, the two of us charging at each other.

Rumble conjured up a fireball and threw it at me. I stepped to the side and didn't get scorched. Rumble and I were within arm's length when he shot out his foot, kicking me in the chest. I collapsed on the ground, my health bar going down at least 20%.

"YOU FIGHT LIKE A GIRL WHO IS ALSO A BABY!" Rumble said, laughing. I stood up and ran at him, giving him an uppercut to the jaw.

"Yes!" I said, shaking my hand and watching his health bar. I thought it would go down a lot, but it only went half a percent. "Oh no," I said, running away. I turned around and saw Soos climbing a tree, trying to make Rumble's health go down more. _That guy is so… oh shit!_ I realized Rumble was coming after me, a fireball ready to throw. I turned back around and started climbing a tree, the fireball barley missing me. I sat on a branch and looked down to see Rumble pacing around below me.

"I HAVE NO LOOKING UP ANIMATION!" He exclaimed, trying to look up. After a few seconds, he fell backwards and landed flat on the ground.

"Dude, that was awesome!" Soos said, holding his arms up to help me down. I jumped off and Soos put me down right next to Rumble, who was trying to punch our legs.

"Thanks man. You think I should roll him up and out him on my wall?"

"Dude, we should rock paper scissors for him!" Soos said, holding his hand out. We were about to, but then Rumble started making it rain fists. Soos ran for cover, but I stayed to see this fight through to the end.

"NEVER UNDERESTIMATE THAT I HAVE PUNCHES!" Rumble yelled, standing up and lighting himself on fire, punching me repeatedly. "SUPER POWER NINJA TURBO NEO ULTRA HYPER MEGA MULTI ALPHA META EXTRA UBER PREFIX... COMBO!" He yelled, making my health bar go down all the way.

"You sir, truly are the greatest fighter ever," I mumbled, curled up on the ground. I sat up, which hurt A LOT, and Rumble held out his hand in a peace sign.

"WINNERS DON'T LOSE!" He said, excitedly. I stood up and smirked at his back.

"Wouldn't be too sure about that man," I said. The announcer ended the game, making Rumble disintegrate into pixels. "Game over, old friend," I said, dusting off. Somehow, I don't think I broke anything. Aside from bruises and my already black eye, I don't think there was any major damage.

I looked up and saw a score entry bar in the air. I spun the letter entry to spell out DIP. "Nice one dude!" Soos said, running up to me.

"Thanks man," I said, starting to walk to Robbie. I had to stop when my ankle gave out.

"You good dude?" Soos asked me, helping me stand up.

"I-I think so," I said, trying to walk again. I was able to take three steps before I had to stop. Soos lifted me up and put me on his back, carrying me over to Robbie. I got down and limped over to Robbie, who had gotten his hood off the tree.

"What was that? Who was that guy?! Why is it that whenever your around there's always ghosts or monsters or whatever?!" Robbie yelled at me.

"I don't know man," I replied, getting ready to fight again.

"That guy almost broke my neck! You know how mad I am right now?!" He yelled. I shook my head, then got ready for what was coming.

"So I guess you and I have to fight now, huh? Go ahead, man. Do your worse. I just want to get this over with," I said. Anything he did wouldn't be worse than Rumble, and I was already beaten up anyway.

"Oh man, I am so going to enjoy this!" Robbie said, raising his fist. He didn't hit me yet, lowering his fist a few inches. "Aren't you gonna run?"

"Nope," I replied. Not like I could run even if I wanted to.

"Are you sure?" He asked. I nodded, then he put his fist down. "It's not even worth it! I play lead guitar so I gotta save my hands."

"Hey guys!" Someone yelled from behind me. I turned around and saw Wendy walking up to us, a camping pack on her shoulders. "I heard some crazy screaming back here."

"You're back already?" I asked. I honestly thought she would have been gone longer.

"Yeah man. Now what the heck happened here? Freak tornado or something?" She asked. I turned back around and saw that there were at least three fires and the water tower was leaning more than the Leaning Tower of Pisa.

"Um, sure! Tornado!" Robbie and I said, both thinking it was easier then telling her the truth.

"And why are your faces all jacked up? You guys weren't fighting each other, were you? I hate it when guys fight," Wendy said, glaring at us questioningly.

"Fighting, us? No! Why would we be fighting? Never!" Robbie exclaimed, trying to cover for us. Wendy still looked unconvinced, so I said the first thing that came to my mind.

"We actually got this beaten up trying to stop two other guys from fighting each other," I said, looking at Robbie to tell him to keep it quiet. He nodded and smiled, Wendy looking like she finally believed us.

"Cool! It really makes me happy to see my two boys hanging out. I got some unpacking to do. I'll text you guys later," She said, kissing Robbie and rubbing my head, then walking back to her dad's truck.

"She called me one of her two boys!" I said excitedly.

"She was looking at me though," Robbie growled at me. I sighed, wanting to end this.

"Look, Robbie, if we stay at each other's throats, we're both gonna lose Wendy. We need to make a cold war pact," I told him, crossing my arms.

"Okay, what's that?" He asked me, a confused look on his face, but honestly, I didn't blame him.

"We need to learn to hate each other in silence," I elaborated. His face cleared for a few seconds, but then I different look came over.

"You mean, like what girls do?" He asked me. I nodded, glad we were making some progress with our rivalry.

"Yeah, what girls do."

 **GFF**

That afternoon, Wendy, Robbie and I were hanging out in the gift shop. Wendy was brushing her hair and telling us about her camping trip.

"…So then I told my brother, 'Hey, save some for the rest of us!'" She said, Robbie and I laughing. We stopped when she dropped her brush. "Aw man. Just a sec."

As soon as she couldn't see us, Robbie and I started glaring at each other. He mimicked cutting my head off, and I gestured 'You're going down.'

"So as I was saying…" Wendy said, standing back up. Robbie and I started acting like nothing was happening. _Yeah, this could work_ I thought, smiling to myself. "I told him to save some for us, but then he started-"

"I GOT IT! I GOT IT! IT WORKS! Guys, come check this out!" Willow yelled from outside. She had started testing her crossbow about a half hour ago, and by the sound of it, she got everything figured out.

"What's she talking about?" Robbie asked us, standing up.

"She's been adjusting a crossbow for a few days," I told him.

"She gets really into this stuff, so it should be epic," Mabel added, Stan following behind her.

"Dibs on using it first!" Wendy said, running outside, the rest of us following her.

 **Willow's POV**

"Okay kid, how's this gonna work?" Stan asked me. I had three targets set up at 30, 50, and 70 yards away. I was impressed with everything I had done, and it all worked perfectly.

"So, this part here," I said, pointing to the compartment I had added next to the trigger. "Right now, I only have five in there, but it can hold up to seven bolts at once."

"Okay, that'll be useful," Wendy said, looking at it closer. I pulled the string back and got it set up at the latch, loading a bolt I had in my hand.

"Now watch the compartment," I said, pulling the trigger and letting the bolt fly. The bolt went in the bullseye of the closest target, but that was normal for me. A small pusher knocked the next bolt onto a shelf attached to the crossbow.

"Okay, that was pretty cool kid," Stan said, smiling a bit.

"You ain't seen nothin' yet. Give me three numbers between one and ten."

"Six!" Dipper called out.

"One!" Mabel added.

"Eight," Robbie finished.

"Got it. 618 in 30, 50 and 70."

"Hold up kid. That thing only fires 40 yards max," Stan told me. I smirked at him.

"Used to. Watch," I said, firing the bolt that had come out into ring 6 of the closest target, the next bolt coming out.

"I extended each limb and moved the latch to fit it. As far as possible, this thing can go to almost 80 yards easily," I told them, pulling the string back and loading the bolt. I got the original sight lined up, then fired the bolt into ring 1 on the middle target.

"Willow, you are really good at this," Mabel told me.

"Last number was eight, right?" I asked, getting to crossbow adjusted to fire at the farthest target. They nodded and I fired, everything going off exactly how I planned. They all started applauding, but I stopped them. "Hold up! I still have two bolts. See that branch with only one leaf?" I asked them. They nodded and I made the other sight pop up.

"I added another sight to make more accurate shots," I told them, getting the bolt loaded. I got both sights lined up, aiming at the leaf. I fired and tore the leaf off the branch, the bolt landing in the tree behind it.

"What's the last bolt for?" Dipper asked me. I smiled because this was my favorite change I had made. I have never tried what I was about to do, but I had complete confidence in myself.

"This!" I told him, making a small mirror pop up. I loaded my final bolt, then started getting everything lined up. "Triangle of the A on the sign."

The triangle was about three feet per side, which would be easy firing facing it. But I was aiming backwards. I got everything lined up, held my breath, and fired.

"Whoa!" "Hot Belgian Waffles!" "How'd you do that?" "Willow, you're amazing at this!" "Can I try?" They said clapping, looks of awe on their face. I spun around and did a small bow, letting out the breath I hadn't realized I was still holding.

"Merci, instinct, I know, and yes," I said, handing the crossbow to Wendy and showing her how everything worked.

For the next hour, each of them took turns using the crossbow. Wendy and Stan picked it up fast, Robbie and Dipper had small troubles but were pretty good, and Mabel… Let's just say she should continue with her grappling hook training. Wendy and Robbie left, then Dipper, Mabel, Stan and I went back inside, going to bed early. It had been a long day for all of us.

"Wills, you okay?" Dipper asked me as I got in bed.

"Yeah, why?" I replied, confused about what he was talking about.

"I thought the crossbow thing was a distraction from…" He trailed off, not wanting to upset me.

"Okay, yeah, sorta. It started out as a distraction, but I had a lot of fun with it. I like doing that kind of thing. I'm thinking about fixing up some of Stan's old exhibits."

"So you're good?" Mabel asked, walking into the room. I nodded.

"I still miss him, but I'm better now, and I'm gonna be fine," I told them. Mabel nodded and jumped in bed, Dipper turning out the light. I laid there for a few seconds, thinking everything over. Just to show them I was okay, I whispered, "I'm armed now, so watch your back."

"Sure thing, creepy," Dipper replied. I fell asleep with a smile on my face, glad things were getting back to what passes for normal in this town.

* * *

 **I know Willow wasn't in this chapter much, but I'm proud of the part I added at the end. And it definitely helped me get a few things set up for future chapters. The hardest part about adding Willow is making sure Alex Hirsch's plotline still fits with three people instead of two. Anyway, please leave a review, tell me what you thought, and I promise, Willow will be back to her old creepy self in the next chapter.**


	10. Little Dipper

**#IAmPulse I'm sure most of you heard about the Pulse shooting in Orlando. My sympathies to those of you who might have lost someone in the violence. They will always be remembered. Now, on a happier note: HAPPY BIRTHDAY ALEX AND ARIEL HIRSCH! Alex, you made an amazing show, and I speak for all of the Gravity Falls fans when I say you sharing the craziness of your mind with the world changed a lot of people's lives for the better. Anyway, SHOUT OUTS!**

 **Gamelover41592- Thank you! I'm very proud of it. Enjoy this chapter!**

 **MyNameIsFlame- Thanks for both of your reviews. I LOVE writing Willow's creepiness, but I also like showing her non-creepy, soft side. And I did plan it out that way. The calendar on my computer actually has the dates that I plan to release each chapter, so if you really want to know about a certain episode/chapter, let me know.**

 **My fav line is- I like what you're doing with your reviews. This show has so many funny moments, it's hilarious. Thanks for all of your reviews.**

 **Disclaimer: I only own Willow, her creepy comments, and anything else not from the show. Gravity Falls and its characters belong to Alex Hirsch.**

* * *

 **Willow's POV (June 29** **th** **)**

The four of us were hanging out in the living room watching Duck-tective reruns. The most recent episode had shown one of Duck-tective's really smart friends putting together clues from some of the previous mysteries. Something big was going to happen very soon, so they were running a marathon to get everyone caught up before tonight's new episode.

"You've gone too far this time Duck-tective!" The Constable said angrily. Duck-tective started quacking, and the subtitles read, _On the contrary, I know exactly what I'm doing._ The show went to commercial and Stan was about to change the channel when the doorbell rang.

"I got it, might be customers," Stan said, opening the door. "Welcome to a world of mystery!" He said enthusiastically. Then, "The tax collector! You found me!" He activated a smoke bomb and ran back inside. He pulled a painting away from the wall, then threw a duffel bag full of money on the floor, patting the wall stones. "Which one of these is the trap door?"

"Mister Pines," a man in a suit said, walking into the room. "I'm from the Winning-house Coupon Savers contest, and YOU ARE OUR BIIIG WINNER!" A man with a camera ran in, throwing confetti everywhere. Two models followed with a giant check for $10,000,000 held between them.

"My one and only dream, which was to possess money, has come true!" Stan said excitedly, shaking the man's hand and flirting with the models.

"We're rich! I'm gonna get a butler!" Dipper yelled.

"I'm gonna buy a talking horse!" Mabel added.

"I'm gonna start a vampire hunting business!" I said, everyone looking at me weird. "What?"

"Just sign here for the money," the man said, holding a clipboard out to Stan. Stan took the pen and signed, making us millionaires.

"STANFORD YOU FOOL!" That little creep Gideon ripped through our check, laughing like a maniac. "You just signed the Mystery Shack over to lil' ol' me!"

"Really?" "So I CAN'T have a talking horse?" "Give us back the shack you little maniac!" Dipper, Mabel and I said angrily.

"Chill kids. Might wanna take another look there," Stan said, giving the clipboard to Gideon.

"'The Shack is hereby signed over to… SUCK A LEMON LITTLE MAN?!'" He read, us laughing at him. "I am not a threat to be taken lightly!" He yelled, the lawyer picking Gideon up. "I'll get you Stanford Pines! I'll get you all!" The lawyer backed up, taking Gideon and the models with him.

"Wanna see what else is on TV?" Stan asked us. We all nodded and sat back down, wishing Gideon would give up messing with us.

 **#IAmPulse**

"No fair! You cheated!" I yelled at Dipper as he knocked my king over.

"Did not," He replied, putting all of the pieces back on the board.

"I want a rematch!" I said, putting my pieces in their place.

"Don't worry. Give me five minutes against Mabel, then I'll ram your king into the ground again."

"Says the boy who lost his queen within five moves," I said, standing up. That was why he won more than me; he could play better with less powerful pieces. But we were both way better than Mabel. Like he said, three minutes into the game and Mabel was already in check.

"Little guy to black space nine!" Mabel said, moving one of Dipper's pawns the wrong way, leaving her King defenseless.

"It's a pawn, that's not your color, and stop stealing the knights," Dipper told her. For some reason, Mabel always kidnapped the knights. I don't think she even knows how to play chess.

"They're tiny horses and they like it better in here! Don't you babies?" She started making horse noises.

"Those horses will get mad at you for kidnapping them. They're going to grow to the size of trees and be able to move around on their own. They're going to track you down and make you play chess against them to the death. And you're going to lose and get killed because you stink at chess," I told Mabel. She glared at me as Dipper checked her king.

"And, checkmate! Dipper wins again!" He said, adding a tally mark to his column of his notebook. He had 85, mine had 70, and Mabel had none. Told you she stinks.

"Hey Mabel, can you get me that brain in the jar? The lady one?" Soos asked her.

"I got it." "Let me," Dipper and I said, both moving to get it, but Soos stopped us.

"Thanks dudes, but Mabel's taller," He said, grabbing the brain on his own. We both looked at each other, confused.

"She not taller than us." "We've always been the same height." The three of us stood up and Soos measured us.

"Yep, she's got exactly one millimeter on you two!" Soos said, stepping back. How did he even notice that to start with?

"Don't you guys see what's happening here? This millimeter is just the beginning. I'm evolving into the superior sibling! Bigger! Stronger! Alpha-Pine, Alpha-Pine!" Mabel started teasing us, laughing. I wasn't that worried – no one could even notice a millimeter difference – but Dipper had to defend himself.

"Mabel, it doesn't make a difference. Nobody even uses millimeters. It only makes you taller than us in Canada."

"You know; I've always wanted little siblings. Who knew I already had them? Yeah!"

"Uh, me!" I jumped in. "You were born first. You've always been older than us. And that extra millimeter will make you turn into a giant 100 feet tall and you'll destroy the town. Have fun with that." Mabel stopped laughing and glared at me. Back in Piedmont, it would have ended there, but just then Stan walked in.

"I was awoken by the sound of mockery. Where is it? Show me the object of ridicule!" Stan said, rubbing his hands together.

"I'm taller than Dipper and Willow!" Mabel told him.

"By ONE millimeter!" Dipper and I added. Probably would have been better off not saying anything.

"Don't get… short with your sister!" Stan said, laughing.

"Now Grunkle Stan, I hope you don't think LITTLE of them!" Mabel added, doubling over.

"Yeah! And, uh… they're short!" The two of them both started laughing. Dipper and I looked at Soos, silently asking for help.

"Dudes, maybe you should lay off a tiny bit," Soos said, giving Stan a free shot.

"Tiny! Soos is in on it now!" Stan said, causing another round of laughter from him and Mabel. Dipper and I left and walked upstairs, hearing Mabel and Stan yell "SHORT-TERM MEMORY!" as we entered the attic.

"Stupid Mabel! We aren't short! Are we?" Dipper asked. He always got paranoid when someone was making fun of him.

"No way. A millimeter is such a small difference that Mabel is literally making a big deal over nothing," I told him as he reached for the journal, which was on the top shelf.

"Come on!" He yelled, kicking the book case, making the journal fall into his hands. "There's gotta be some way to get taller and make Mabel stop laughing at us."

"Good, at least your worried about the right thing," I said, reading over his shoulder.

"This is it," he said after a few minutes of page-flipping. He started reading from a page that had diagrams of buffalo and squirrels. "'Legends of miniature buffalo and giant squirrels have led me to believe there are height altering properties hidden deep within the forest.'" He turned the page and there was a map leading into the woods. "Let's go check this out."

"I wanna grab something first," I told him, going downstairs and to my workshop. I went to my workbench and started moving everything around. "Got it," I said, showing Dipper our Swiss Army knife with an M, D, and W carved in it.

"I was looking for that!" Dipper exclaimed.

"I know, sorry. It helped a lot with some of my projects though," I told him, putting it in my pocket. It was a family keepsake that Great-Grandpa Filbrick had had since WWII. GG Filbrick died before we were born, and his will had given it to Grandpa Shermy. When he found out we would be visiting his brother, he had given it to us, claiming 'with what my brother does, it will be helpful to have around.' "Now let's go find this magic height-altering thing-a-ma-bobber."

We went outside, Dipper with the map in his hands. "Turn left," he told me. We went left into the middle of the woods. After a few minutes of walking and Dipper calling out directions, he closed the journal and put it in his vest. "We should be get- Ow! Ah! Ow ow ow!" He tripped and rolled down a hill.

"Dipper! You okay?" I yelled, running down the hill after him. I stopped moving when I noticed a deer. "Don't move," I whispered to him. He looked confused, then he looked at his chest and noticed the tiny deer himself.

"Whoa," he whispered. The deer jumped off and ran away like nothing happened. I heard a buzzing sound by my ear and reflexively swatted it. Turns out, it was a tiny bald eagle. I cupped my hands around it, then showed Dipper. "That's so… mountain lions." I turned around and saw two mountain lions looking at us.

"Are they tiny, or is it just perspective?" I asked as they moved closer. They started growling and jumped at us. "PERSPECTIVE! GET DOWN!" I yelled, Dipper and I protecting each other. Instead of getting mauled, we started getting tickled. The mountain lions, who were now the size of our hands, ran around our shoulders then jumped to the ground.

"Check out these crystals," Dipper said, looking at our surrounding for the first time. We were in a small alcove with bunches of different sized crystals everywhere. The crystals were giving off pink and blue beams of light. A butterfly flew through a pink light and shrunk to the size of my thumb, then a blue light and got bigger than me. "Gimme our knife," Dipper said, holding out his hand. I gave him the knife and he cut a palm-size crystal out of the bunch. "Let's get outta here," he said, pocketing the crystal and giving me the knife. We ran the entire way back to the shack and went into my workshop.

"There's a red flashlight in the corner chest. Gimme the crystal," I told him, sitting at my workbench. He tossed the crystal to me, then started looking through the chest. I cut a small piece of rope and tied it around the crystal. Dipper handed me the flashlight and I tied the crystal in front of the glass. "Attic, I don't want to mess any of this stuff up."

We went upstairs and sat on the bed, testing the crystal on a piece of paper. Eventually we got it set to work without problems. "Smaller," Dipper said, shrinking a chess pawn. He turned the crystal around and made the pawn so big, it broke through the roof. "TOO BIG!"

"Stop messing around. Let's just grow ourselves," I told him. He nodded and shined the light on me for half a second. I took the flashlight from him and did the same thing. We went downstairs to the gift shop where Mabel was talking to Soos.

"Hey guys, notice anything different about us?" I asked. Soos squinted at us, then sat back.

"You grew an extra millimeter!" He said. Seriously, how can he notice these things? Mabel stood up and measured herself against us, pouting when she turned back around.

"What can we say? Growth spurt," I added, crossing my arms. She pouted for another second, then started grinning.

"Mine happened first. I'm gonna be taller in the end, it's science. Alpha-Pine! Alpha-Pine!" She chanted. I couldn't get back at that, but Dipper could.

"Y'know what else in science? Boys are taller than girls. And I don't know about Willow, but something tells me I've got another growth spurt coming on right this second." He turned around and went back up to the attic, me following him.

"Nice one back there," I told him, making him grow a few inches.

"Her fault; science and logic are her kryptonite," he replied, making me grow. I hid the flashlight under the bed just before Mabel kicked the door in.

"Give it up you two!" She yelled, then stopped when she realized we were a lot taller than her. "What happened?"

"Puberty." "A wizard." Dipper and I said, Dipper giving me a what-the-heck look. "Follow my lead," I whispered to him.

"Just a second ago- Wait, did you say a wizard? OF COURSE! This is some kind of magicy thing! There's a wizard in this closet, isn't there?" Mabel asked, moving next to the closet, completely oblivious to the fact that there was a giant chess pawn in the room. I started acting like my saying wizard was a joke (which it was).

"What? A wizard? No way! I was just kidding!" I told Mabel, who didn't believe me for a second.

"You're telling me that there's not a wizard in this closet. You're telling me that if I open this door right now-"

"Okay, fine! Open it!" I told her. She opened the door and there was nothing in there, just a few of our nicer outfits.

"An invisible wizard! REALLY?" Mabel exclaimed, looking in the closet for anything wizard-like.

"Nice one," Dipper whispered to me.

"How do you make him do things?" Mabel asked, walking back out. "Is there like a secret code word or something? Magic! Spells! Owls!" She started calling out random things related to Harry Potter.

"Mabel, I was kidding! There's no wizard!" I told her, trying not to laugh. She still didn't believe me.

"Does he only respond to incantations? Expecto wizzarium! Wizle! Wizar-" Dipper grabbed the flashlight from under the bed and held it out to show Mabel.

"It's not a wizard! We grew ourselves using this magic flashlight!" He said. Mabel turned around to look at it, then tried to grab it from us. We ran downstairs and into the parking lot, Mabel right behind us. We started wrestling each other for the flashlight, then all three of us fell on the ground, making a caterpillar grow to the size of a school bus.

"Was the wizard in here the whole time?" Mabel asked, making her hand shrink. Dipper took the flashlight from her and turned the crystal around.

"It can grow things too," he said, putting her hand back to normal. Mabel karate-chopped the flashlight out of his hand and made his head grow. I grabbed the flashlight from her and made her head shrink, then fixed Dipper. Mabel tackled me from behind and made her head grow back.

"GIVE IT BACK!" Dipper and I yelled, me standing up.

"NEVER!" Mabel replied. We ran at her and the flashlight flew out of her hands, it landing right in front of Gideon. He picked it up at started looking at it.

"Maybe he didn't see us use it and doesn't know it's a magic flashlight that can grow and shrink things," Mabel said, not realizing Gideon was literally two feet from us.

"Really?" Dipper said, rubbing the bridge of his nose. Gideon turned the flashlight on his hand, making it grow. He turned the crystal around and put his hand back to normal size, then glared evilly at us.

"Don't do-" "You wouldn't-" "Give it-" The three of us started, moving towards him. He turned the flashlight on us, making us shrink. We barley reached the top of the toe of his shoe. He started laughing evilly, then reached into his jacket. He pulled out a glass jar (why'd he have that on him?) and trapped us with it, stuffing us in his jacket.

"LET US GO GIDEON! GET US OUT OF HERE!" "YOU'RE GOING TO WISH YOU HADN'T MESSED WITH US!" "I DON'T KNOW IF YOU CAN HEAR ME, BUT I SWEAR AS SOON AS I GET MY CROSSBOW, I AM GOING TO FILL YOUR LITTLE BUTT WITH ARROWS!" The three of us yelled, pounding on the glass. I gave up after a few minutes and started looking at the lid.

"Guys, GUYS!" I said, making them stop hitting the glass. "Gimme a basket toss."

"Why?" Dipper asked. Mabel and I weren't big on gymnastics, but the three of us had done some team obstacle courses when we were younger. One of the challenges was getting your team over an 8-foot wall, so we had picked up a few lifting tricks.

"I might, and that's a big MIGHT, be able to work the lid loose if I can grab something up there," I told them. They nodded and got into position.

"Wait," Mabel said just before I was about to go. "Are you going for height or distance?"

"Height, at least this time," I told her. She nodded and they got adjusted. "Three… two… one," I said, running on one. I jumped up and landed on their arms, them giving me a boost. I put my hands up in case I hit the top and started examining the top of the jar. I only got a few seconds before I started falling back down. Luckily, they were ready. It was a hard landing and all of us fell, but none of us were hurt.

"Any luck?" Mabel asked once we got standing up.

"Maybe. I might be able to grab something, but I doubt I'll be able to turn the lid. But I'll try. Get ready," I told them, going to the far side of the jar.

"Distance, right?" Dipper asked.

"Yeah. Ready? Three… two… one," I said, doing the same thing as last time, only going into the side instead of up. I was able to grab a small ledge in the glass, but there wasn't room for me to be able to do anything except drop.

"Willow, anything?" Dipper called up to me.

"No," I yelled back, looking down. I would have said I was about ten feet up. "Guys, how high are my feet from the ground?"

"Umm… five or six! You need catchers?" He asked.

"No! Just stay back!" I told them, waiting until they backed out of my way. As soon as they were clear, I let go and fell back down, rolling to cushion my fall.

"Willow, you good?" Dipper asked, helping me up.

"Yeah, I'm good. Where I grabbed wasn't high enough to reach the lid, and I wouldn't have been able to get higher without falling," I told them, dusting off.

"It's cool. You did your best. We just have to-" Dipper trailed off when Gideon spoke for the first time since trapping us.

"That's my widdle secret!" He said, giggling. Then in a whisper he said, "Mouth-breathin' fools." We heard a door slam, and a vacuum running. We heard another door slam, then Gideon took the lid off the jar and dumped us on a table. "You three!" He accused, glaring at us. Dipper stepped in front of me and Mabel, going into protective brother mode.

"What're you gonna do with us?" Mabel yelled at him. A loving smile came over his face.

"Mabel, I wouldn't hurt a hair on your itty-bitty head, if you agree to be my queen!" He said, reaching for something under his desk.

"We live in a democracy! And never!" Mabel told him.

"Maybe you'll change your mind after this," Gideon said, picking Mabel up. Mabel started trying to get out of his hand.

"I will fight you until the day I- GUMMY KOALAS!" Gideon put Mabel in the Gummy Koala bag and she immediately started eating one. Gideon watched her for a few seconds, then turned to us.

"As for you two, tell me," he turned a lamp on us. "How exactly did you come upon this magic item? Did somebody tell you about it? Did you read about it somewhere?" Dipper and I looked at each other, Dipper touching the journal that was in his vest. I shook my head slightly. We had decided a while ago that since whoever wrote the journal had felt the need to hide it, we would keep it a secret for as long as possible. Dipper looked behind us at an air-horn. I nodded and moved behind it.

"Come closer and I'll tell you!" Dipper told Gideon. Gideon bent down and turned his ear towards Dipper. "NOW!" Dipper yelled. I blew the air-horn for a few seconds, making Gideon pull back and get pissed off.

"I COULD SQUASH YOU RIGHT NOW!" He yelled, then he calmed down. "Steel yourself Gideon. You can use 'em. You can use 'em…" Gideon reached behind him and picked up a phone, calling Stan.

"Stanford Pines!" Gideon said when Stan picked up. "Listen to me very closely. I have your nieces and nephew. Hand over the deed to the Mystery Shack, or great harm will befall them! This is Gideon by the way." Gideon pulled the phone away from his ear, glaring at it. "I have 'em in my possession! You don't believe me? I'll text you a photo!" Gideon held the phone to his ear for a few seconds then got angry and threw it at the wall, making it break. He stared at the wall, then started laughing like crazy.

"What am I doin'? I don't need ransom! I got this!" He said, holding up the flashlight. "I'll just shrink Stan and take the Shack myself! You'll be helpless to stop me, and if you step outta line, SMASH!" He said, breaking little figurines of us with his hand.

"Gideon! The ice cream truck is here!" Gideon's dad yelled.

"Comin'!" Gideon replied, grabbing a hamster and putting it on the table next to us. "Guard 'em Cheekems. I'm comin'!" Gideon ran out of the room, grinning excitedly. Dipper grabbed a q-tip and poked Cheekums with it. He squeaked but didn't move a muscle.

"We gotta get out of here and save Stan!" Dipper said, throwing the q-tip off the table.

"I know! I'll see you later," Mabel said, putting a koala head in her sweater pocket.

"Just watch. That koala head will eat through her pocket and to her body. Then Mabel will turn into a gummy koala and the koala will get her revenge on the human race for always eating its family," I said, being creepy again. Dipper pushed me, then started pacing around.

"How are we gonna do this? Gideon's got magic and like a zillion inches on us."

"So there WAS a wizard!" Mabel yelled, climbing out of the Gummy Koala bag. I slapped the back of her head, can't believing she was still on this.

"For the last time, there was NO WIZARD! I was messing with you. Let it go. And you can't rip on us anymore because we're the same height again." She started looking me up and down, then walked to the back of the table and brought back a ruler. The three of us stood beside it and Mabel was still a millimeter taller.

"How are you still taller than us?" Dipper asked, knocking the ruler down.

"I guess it's another mystery," she said, walking over to Cheekums.

"Which is another reason we have to get that flashlight back," I told Dipper. He nodded and we started looking around for anything we could use to get down.

"How high up are we?" I asked Dipper. He looked over the edge for a few seconds, then turned around.

"Three feet normally, but perspective says 30," he told me. I nodded and went over to Gideon's hairbrush, pulling out some of the hairs.

"Cheekums, to freedom!" Mabel yelled. She had gotten on Cheekums' back and was trying to ride him like a horse. "To freedom!" She yelled again, spanking him. When he didn't move, Mabel started petting him. "You're just a big old dummy-dumb."

"Mabel, get off of him and come help us tie Gideon's hairs together," I told her. She got off and five minutes later, the three of us had made a hair rope long enough to get us down. We rappelled down the leg of the table, then snuck under the door into the living room. Gideon and his dad were eating ice cream while his mom vacuumed.

"CLEAN ME!" Gideon said, his dad wiping his face. "Father, could you give widdle ol' me a ride to the Mystery Shack?"

"I'd love to sugar-pot, but I have a lot of cars to sell, yes I do," Gideon's dad said, tickling Gideon's belly. Gideon got pissed and threw the ice cream carton cross the room, yelling at his dad.

"NEVER tickle me! What have I told you?" Gideon asked.

"Ticklin' is no laughing matter," Gideon's dad replied sheepishly. "You still need a ride to the Shack?"

"I'll just take the BUS!" Gideon said, storming out of the house.

"Let's go!" Dipper said, running across the room and out the doggie door. We ended up in the lot, Gideon nowhere in sight. "We have to get up higher."

"Especially you two, cause your short," Mabel said, laughing at us.

"Not the time Mabel. How about up there?" I asked, pointing to a discount balloon attached to one of the cars. We ran to the car and climbed on top of it, then climbed the rope to the top of the balloon. Gideon was sitting at the bus stop next to Lazy Susan, the flashlight in his hand. We couldn't hear what they said, but Susan looked uncomfortable next to Gideon. The bus came and Gideon got on, going towards the shack.

"He's gonna shrink Stan! We gotta get there before he does!" Dipper said, looking around.

"Oh flying discount dollar, if only you could fly us back to the Shack," Mabel said.

"Maybe it can," I said, pulling our knife out of my pocket and cutting the rope of the balloon, the wind catching us and taking us in the direction of the shack. We had to make a few small direction changes, but we made it there no problem and actually beat Gideon. We landed the balloon on top of the totem pole.

"We're just in time," Dipper said as the bus pulled up. "But how are we gonna stop Gideon?"

"Leave that to Mabel," Mabel said, throwing the head of her gummy koala into Gideon's hair. While he fixed his hair, we zip-lined down a wire and onto the ground. When Mabel had thrown the koala in Gideon's hair, he had stupidly dropped the flashlight.

"Stand in front of it and I'll regrow you guys," Mabel said as we got the flashlight set up.

"Wait," Dipper said before Mabel could do anything. "You're gonna grow us back to equal height, right?"

"Dude, that doesn't matter right now!" Mabel told him. I just wanted to get this whole thing over with, but for some reason, he was still worried about ONE MILLIMETER!

"If it doesn't matter, then why not just do it?" Dipper asked.

"Dude! Not now!" I told him.

"Why are you acting so weird? Why can't you just accept it that I'm a bit taller than you two?" Mabel asked. Okay, that made me snap.

"Why have you been calling us names all day?" I asked her. That was the big thing I was worried about, not the height.

"Yeah, she's right! Calling us names isn't like you."

"What, you mean like little-"

"Don't say it!" Dipper interrupted her.

"Little Dipper." Son of a- Gideon had fixed his hair and had got us. He picked us up with one hand, grabbing the flashlight with the other. "I dare say y'all would have defeated me, if it wasn't for your siblin' bickerin'!" He said, kicking the door open. "The Shack is mine, Stanford Pines!" Gideon yelled, turning on the flashlight. Stan's fez fell on the floor. Gideon walked over to it and lifted it up. "It appears I finally got the best of- WHAT?!"

"Something's definitely different here," Soos said. For some reason, Soos had been wearing Stan's fez. In his excitement, Gideon (and us) had failed to notice that Soos was wearing it. Gideon picked up Soos and put the four of us in the jar, shaking it angrily.

"Tell me where Stan is!" Gideon yelled at us.

"You'll never find Stan, down the hall, through the second door on the left," Soos replied, face-palming when he realized what he had said. "Why did I say that?"

"Oh Stanford! I'm comin' for ya!" Gideon sing-songed, putting us in jacket. The four of us started pounding on the glass, but still nothing. Mabel blew a raspberry at Gideon's school ID photo.

"I kinda Soosed that one up, didn't I?" Soos asked, sliding his back down the side of the jar.

"It's not your fault Soos. I'm the one who put that flashlight together," I told him, sitting down next to him.

"And I'm the one who over-reacted," Dipper added, turning to Mabel. "But Mabel, what was with you teasing us all day?" Mabel tossed him our score-keeping notebook.

"You guys are better than me at like everything, and you always rub it in my face. Chess, checkers, ping pong, foosball. I guess I finally felt like I was winning something for once."

"We really were doing that?" I asked. Mabel nodded. Okay, I admit, we do brag sometimes. But I never realized we were hurting her, and from the look on his face, neither did Dipper.

"I feel like a big jerk," Dipper said, pocketing his notebook. Mabel eyes lit up playfully.

"Don't you mean a _little_ jerk?" She teased. The four of us started laughing.

"I walked right into that one. We cool?" Dipper asked, holding his fist out.

"We're cool," Mabel said, the two of us putting our fists in.

"Am I cool?" Soos asked, the three of us smiling.

"You're cool Soos," Mabel said, fist-bumping him. He smiled, the three of us putting today's events behind us.

"STANFORD!" Gideon yelled.

"We gotta get out of here!" I said, looking at the lid again.

"I have an idea. Get on my shoulders," Soos said, standing up. He put Dipper on his shoulders first, then Mabel, then me. We were just tall enough for me to work the lid loose and climb out.

"Let's get that flashlight back before Gideon finds Stan," Dipper said, the four of us poking our heads out of Gideon's pocket.

"What's with all the mirrors?" Mabel asked.

"Stan and I set up a mirror maze while you guys were gone," Soos replied.

"There's the flashlight!" I said, pointing at Gideon's other pocket. The four of us climbed up his chest and onto this shoulders.

"His hair is so shiny!" Mabel said, walking up to it. I grabbed her shoulders and pulled her back.

"Don't look directly at it!" I yelled at her. Soos fell backwards onto Gideon's neck.

"His neck is so squishy! I can make fat angels!" Soos said, moving his arms and legs back and forth.

"Termites!" Gideon yelled, reaching his hand up. He slapped the back of his neck, knocking Soos off his shoulders.

"Save Stan! Tell my storyyyyyyy!" Soos yelled as he fell.

"We have to save Stan," I whisper-growled. They nodded, and we stood on Gideon's shoulder. I gotta give Stan and Soos credit; they had got the maze set up really well. Gideon grabbed the flashlight and aimed it a one of Stan's reflections. It bounced off a bunch of mirrors, then shrunk a moose head. Gideon threw the flashlight and broke one of the mirrors.

"Watch the merchandise!" Stan yelled. Gideon picked up the flashlight and started smashing the mirrors.

"You little troll!" Stan yelled, walking into sight. "Those mirrors cost me ten, I mean 25, 500, 500 dollars each, and you're paying for all of them!"

"Oh contraire, Monsieur. It will be you who pays!" Gideon replied, walking forwards with the flashlight out.

"Grunkle Stan is doomed!" Mabel exclaimed, freaking out a bit. I started thinking, but Dipper beat me to it.

"Not completely doomed! To his armpit!" Mabel shook her head, but I pulled her down.

"You wanna save Stan or not?" I asked, leading the way. Yes, it was gross, but at least it didn't smell; Gideon's lavender deodorant took care of that.

"Prepare for the wrath of Gideon Glee-" We started tickling him and he started laughing uncontrollably, yelling at us to stop. Gideon started rolling around, so we climbed out of his shirt and onto his side. Stan was rolling Gideon through the house with his foot. He rolled him out the door and onto the ground, us jumping off and onto the porch.

"My light!" Gideon yelled as we ran back inside. The flashlight was just inside the door to the gift shop.

"You're the light of my life too kid," Stan said, closing the door. "Freak show," he muttered, picking up his fez and leaving the gift shop. We ran over to the flashlight, Dipper getting the crystal set up, me standing next to the switch.

"After you," Dipper said, stepping back.

"You can go first if you- whoa!" I turned the flashlight on before Mabel could finish, making her grow back to normal size. She grabbed the flashlight and grew Dipper and I, then checked her height next to us. "You let me keep my extra millimeter!"

"You earned it," Dipper replied. I took the flashlight and removed the crystal.

"Thanks, little-"

"Stop it," I interrupted. "We should destroy this thing, so it doesn't fall into the wrong hands again."

"Seems like the smart thing to do," Dipper said. Mabel took the crystal from me and threw it on the ground, jumping up and down on it a few times.

"There you dudes are!" Soos yelled. We looked on the floor at a tiny Soos, who had arranged some of the pieces of crystal to spell 'HELP SOOS.' "I've been trying to get your attention."

"Glue," Mabel said, picking up some of the pieces.

"Lots of glue," Dipper added. I started walking out the door. "Willow, where are you going?"

"To get another crystal! Don't wait up!" I called over my shoulder, walking outside and into the woods.

 **Gideon's POV**

"Son, don't you mind that Stanford Pines," Daddy told me. I had been pacin' for a half hour, furious the Pines had ruined my plans again. "You'll get your revenge one of these days."

"NO!" I yelled, flippin' a chair over. "It ain't about revenge. I want that shack. The physical buildin'."

"But why?" Daddy asked, turnin' on the TV.

"Because it holds a secret you couldn't possibly imagine," I replied, laughin' evilly.

"Okay sweetie. Duck-tective is about to start, so come sit down," Daddy said, puttin' the show on. "You want some ice cream?"

"Did you pick out all the nuts?" I asked. Daddy nodded and held out the spoon. He fed me some ice cream, and I started evil laughin' again. "Little more," I said, Daddy feedin' me again. "That's good," I said as the show started. I couldn't focus on the show, because my mind was tryin' to figure out new ways to get the one thing I wanted most, without getting arrested for tresspassin'; Journal #1.

 **Willow's POV**

We had gotten Soos fixed with the new crystal no problem. We decided to keep the flashlight in one piece, so it was sitting in one of the trunks in my workshop. Stan, Dipper, Mabel and I were in the living room, watching the end of the new Duck-tective episode.

"Duck-tective! What on earth is going on?" The Constable yelled, following Duck-tective into his hideout. They worked out of the basement of an old hotel that no one knew about. For some reason when they walked in, Duck-tective had freaked out and flew to his hideout.

 _I have to see if they're still there,_ Duck-tective quacked. He used his beak to pull a curtain away from a hidden compartment. It was empty.

"Your notebooks!" The Constable exclaimed. Duck-tective had kept track of every case in a few secret notebooks. They were like our journal, so losing them meant something major. "What happened to them?"

 _I saw the Roost's best agent in the lobby._ The Roost was a secret organization, and in their eyes, Duck-tective was public enemy number one.

"We have to get them back!" The Constable said, putting Duck-tective on his shoulder. He ran out of the hotel and onto the street. "Which way?" The Constable cried, putting Duck-tective on the ground. Duck-tective started smelling the ground, and eventually ran to the right. He started flying low to the ground, the Constable right behind him. The agent eventually came into sight, but then he turned into an alley.

"Come back here!" The Constable yelled, putting Duck-tective on his shoulder and entering the alley.

"We meet again," The agent said, turning around and holding the notebooks up.

 _Give me back the notebooks,_ Duck-tective quacked.

"Sure thing, but first… NOW!" The agent pulled out a grappling hook and flew onto the roof of a building. Four other agents entered the alley, weapons drawn.

 _It's a-_ BANG! One of the agents fired his gun. Duck-tective fell off the Constable's shoulder, hitting the ground. The screen went black, TO BE CONTINUED popping up and the credits rolling.

"NO!" "DUCK-TECTIVE!" "WHAT JUST HAPPENED?!" "WHEN'S THE NEXT EPISODE?!" We all yelled. I grabbed our laptop and looked on the Duck-tective episode guide.

"August 10th, normal half hour, called _Roost Rising,_ and yes, it is the season finale," I told them. Stan nodded and started getting cleaned up, Dipper and I started searching the internet for any leaked info, and Mabel started knitting a new sweater.

"Kids, time for bed," Stan told us, walking back in.

"But it's only ten!" We complained. He nodded, but sent us to bed anyway.

"I know, but it's been a long day, and I have a surprise for you tomorrow. So get some sleep," he told us. We went upstairs and got ready, then laid down.

"You guys find anything?" Mabel asked us.

"Sorry, there was nothing. No names of guest stars, no leaked images, no names of new characters, no nothing. There must be something major going on if they're keeping everything so wrapped up," Dipper told her, turning out the light.

"Oh well, what can we do?" Mabel asked.

"Anyway, nothing that happens there can be weirder than what happened to us today," I said.

"I know, right? I can't believe this stuff has happened to us every day, and we've only been here like two weeks," Dipper added.

"It's not like it can get much weirder," Mabel whispered, falling asleep. I nodded, but had a bad feeling that as long as Gideon was around, things could get MUCH weirder. _Oh well,_ I thought. _At least we'll always have the journal to help us out._

* * *

 **Oh, the irony. I know that the Duck-tective part wasn't in the episode, but I wanted to add it to show some common reactions I've seen/had while watching this show. Really quick, if any of you have ideas for a three-person costume for the next chapter, let me know. And I'm going to say this now because I know someone will ask later; As far at this story goes, Dipper, Mabel and Willow DO know that Grunkle Stan had a brother, but like everyone else, they think that Grunkle Stan is Stanford and that Stanley died before they were born. Anyway, please leave a review, tell Alex and Ariel Happy Birthday, pray for those in Orlando, and I'll see you in two weeks. #IAmPulse**


	11. Summerween

**Okay guys, change of plans. I told you that I would be doing three Q &A's over the course of this story. I have decided to change it to two. The first will be between Land Before Swine and Dreamscaperers. If you have any questions now, feel free to leave them in a review or PM. You can send then in at any time, and I'll be sure to have them in the chapter, as long as they do not hold any spoilers. Anyway, shout-outs!**

 **Gamelover41592- Thank you so much for your complements!**

 **MyNameIsFlame- Thank you for your opinion. I'm glad they worked out well. This show is big on continuity, so I'm trying to make sure that's an element I add in this story. Society of the Blind Eye will be February 12th or 15th (up to the readers) and Not What He Seems will (hopefully) be March 25th. Most of the dates are tentative since their about a year away, but that is what I'm hoping for.**

 **MyFavLineIs- Interesting. Personally, I liked the part at the beginning with Mabel wanting a talking horse.**

 **Disclaimer: I only own Willow and her comments. Everything else came from the mind of Alex Hirsch.**

* * *

 **Dipper's POV (June 30** **th** **)**

"Grunkle Stan, what's the surprise?" Mabel asked. Instead of having us work today, he had taken all of us (and Soos) into town.

"It's a surprise," Stan replied.

"Soos, what's going on?" Willow tried. Soos just shook his head.

"Sorry dudes, I'm sworn to secrecy," he said. I sighed as Stan pulled into a holiday shop. He parked in a handicap spot, jumping the curb and hitting the sign before stopping. We got out and looked up at the store.

"Welcome to the Summerween Superstore!" Stan said when we were all out.

"Summer-what?" I asked. Stan reached into his jacket and pulled out a calendar, today's date circled.

"Summerween! The people in this town love Halloween so much that they celebrate it twice a year."

"That's why everybody in this town is fat. They'll probably die early from eating too much candy. Or from candy poisoning. Either way they'll die a slow and painful death." Willow had to be creepy. I just ignored her.

"Do you always carry that calendar around?" I asked.

"Yes," Stan replied, walking inside.

"Summerween? Something about this feels unnatural," Mabel said.

"It's basically Halloween in summer. Instead of jack-o-lanterns, we use jack-o-melons, AND there's free candy!" Soos told us. We all ran inside and grabbed a shopping cart. Mabel jumped in and Willow and I ran around pushing her. We went to the costume aisle and started looking. They had a few pretty good ones, but nothing for a group of three.

"Don't worry, I can make something up no problem," Mabel told us. Every Halloween back home, we did a three-person group costume. Ever since we were three, Mabel always came up with the ideas, whether she made the costumes or not. We started pushing her around the store again, then crashed into a pile of jack-o-melons.

"Have the police come and eject the Pines family from the store," one of the workers said over a walkie talkie. Stan exploded a smoke bomb and ran out of the store, a barrel of fake blood under his arm. Soos ran after him with two barrels, and we pushed Mabel outside and towards the car.

"You paid for the stuff, right?" Mabel asked as we got to the car.

"Of course!" Stan replied, putting the blood barrels in the trunk.

"Did you use Stan Bucks?" Willow asked when we got in the car. Stan bucks were fake money slips he used instead of real money.

"Of course!" Stan said, backing up. We hit a phone pole and crushed a giant blow-up jack-o-melon. "Let's move!" Stan yelled, putting the car in drive and flying out of the parking lot.

 **GFF**

"I'm so excited!" Mabel squealed, walking inside. The five of us had spent the last two hours decorating the shack, making costumes, or getting bags of candy and candy bags. "We're gonna have the best costumes, get the most candy!"

"I'll get to creep kids out and not get yelled at!" Willow added. Halloween was her favorite holiday and every year back home, she always decorated the house and scared A LOT of people.

"And we'll get the biggest stomachaches ever!" I yelled, the three of us stomping the floor.

"I've never seen you dudes so pumped," Soos said, coming out of the bathroom. He had put on his Summerween costume; a Superhero with a blue mask and cape, yellow spandex pants and blue boots. Mabel pulled out her Halloween scrapbook and showed him the pictures of us from back home.

"In Piedmont the three of us were like the kings of Trick or Treating. People eat up triplets in costumes," she said, taking back her scrapbook.

"Just be careful out there dudes. It's a night of ghouls and goblins. Not to mention…" Soos turned off the lights and put a flashlight under his chin. "The Summerween Trickster!"

"Summer-who now?"

"The Trickster goes door to door, so legend goes, eating children who lack the Summerween spirt," he elaborated.

"AWESOME!" Willow exclaimed. "Now I know how to creep these kids out! Which reminds me, I have to go tell Stan my ideas." She got up and went to go find Stan.

"Anyway Soos, you don't have to worry about us," I said, putting a piece of candy in my mouth. "We've got spirit to go aro-Ugh! Bla!" The piece of candy tasted like bitter coffee. I spit it out and looked in the candy bowl. "What is this stuff? I've never even heard of these brands. Sand pop and Mr. Adequate-Bar? Really?"

"This stuff is all just cheap-o loser candy!" Mabel yelled, sticking her tongue out.

"Quiet your discontent children, lest the Trickster overhear," Soos whispered.

"Your cape is caught in your fly Soos," I told him, turning the lights on and picking up the bowl.

"Touché," he replied, taking one of the gummy chair packs from the bowl. I walked into the kitchen and opened the window.

"Goodbye loser candy!" I said as I threw it into the trashcan outside. A few seconds later the doorbell rang.

"Trick-or-Treaters! Give 'em some of that terrible candy!" Stan yelled from upstairs. I took the rest of the candy and opened the door.

"Happy Summer-AHH!" I dropped the candy bowl when I realized that it was Wendy and Robbie. "What-What's up guys?"

"I left my jacket here AGAIN!" Wendy said, taking her jacket off the coat rack. This was the third time this week she had left it here.

"What's with the candy? You going trick-or-treating or something?" Robbie asked, kicking the candy around.

"Well actually, I uh-"

"Shut up Robbie. Of course he's not going trick-or-treating," Wendy interrupted, slipping her jacket on. _Does she think it's childish?_ I thought. _She probably does! I can't tell her anything._

"No, I mean yeah, I mean… Trick-or-treating is for babies, I guess," I said, putting the candy back in the bowl.

"Cool. You know what, you should come to this party with us. Tambry's parents are out of town and it's gonna be OFF THE CHAIN!"

"Not surprised you didn't hear about it," Robbie whispered, but still giving me the flyer.

"Maybe I'll see you at the party," I said before I could think.

"Cool man! It starts at nine! Don't forget!" Wendy said, her and Robbie walking back to his van. They got in and Wendy rolled he window down. "Nice decorations, by the way!" She yelled as the van pulled away. Stan had gone all out with decorating the shack, and between that and Willow's creepy ideas, kids would be crying left and right.

"Thanks!" I yelled back. I shut the door and looked between the flyer and the candy bowl. "How am I gonna tell Mabel?"

 **GFF**

"Dipper, why aren't you wearing your costume?" Willow asked me when she came back from the bathroom. Mabel had gone all out, making a sun, moon and star for us. Mabel was the star, and she was downstairs with Candy and Grenda. Willow was the moon because she was all dark and creepy, and I was supposed to be the sun. I had decided that I would fake sick instead of telling Mabel the truth.

"I don't feel so good. I was just gonna hang out here and relax. Go have fun without me," I told her, fake coughing to make it more believable. It didn't work.

"Okay, either you tell me what's going on, or I'll tell Mabel that you're faking it," she said, crossing her arms.

"Okay. Wendy and Robbie invited me to a party tonight at nine, and I was planning on going to that instead of trick-or-treating with you guys. Please don't tell Mabel!"

"I won't tell her, but you owe me, and if she finds out, I never knew about the party. BTW, you need to work on your fake cough," she told me, walking downstairs. Willow always kept my secrets, which was why I wasn't worried about telling her. I went to the top of the stairs and listened to her, Mabel, Candy and Grenda talking.

"Mabel, you made great costumes!" Candy, who looked like a peppermint candy, said, petting Waddles, who was dressed up in a pig suit.

"What about your brother?" Grenda, a witch, asked.

"He was still getting ready when I came down," Willow told them. Mabel nodded, then started bouncing excitedly.

"Wait until you see Dipper's costume! It's amazing!" I started walking down the stairs. "Here he comes now!"

"That is a very good Dipper costume," Candy said when she saw me.

"What the hey-hey bro-bro? Where's your costume?" Mabel asked me.

"Look, I-I can't go trick-or-treating tonight. I'm really si-" I started fake coughing, hoping it was more believable. "Must have been that bad candy I ate. Go on without me," I whispered, going onto one knee.

"Are you getting sick Dipper?" Willow asked, touching my forehead. "Your head feels warm. You must have a disease called liaphobia. It's a disease that takes away all common sense and you will die old and alone, with no one to love you. Because one of the symptoms of liaphobia is pissing everyone off with your outbursts of liophs."

"Dial it back, will ya!?" I whispered to her. She nodded and pulled away.

"I know that's not a real thing, but whatever you have, fight through it! Why can't you have good Summerween spirit like Willow does?" Mabel asked, pulling me to my feet. Someone started knocking on the door. I stood up and opened the door.

"Trick-or-treat," a tall, dark guy with a deep, scratchy voice said.

"Really dude? You're a little old for this. Sorry man," I said, slamming the door and facing the others.

"Why'd you close the door?" Mabel asked me.

"It was an adult and anyway, I told you I'm not feeling it tonight."

"I think a little trick-or-treating will make you feel better."

"I'm not going trick-or-treating!" I yelled as someone knocked again. It was the same guy from a minute ago. "Look man, just go to another house!" I slammed the door again.

"Dipper! Where's your Summerween hospitality?" Mabel asked. The same guy knocked again.

"I'm not getting that," I said, starting up the steps. Mabel answered the door.

"I apologize for my brother. He came down with a case of the grumpy-grumps," Mabel told the man. I turned around and stuck my tongue out at her, then froze as the guy started yelling.

"SILENCE! You have insulted me! For this you must pay… with your LIVES!" I went back downstairs and looked through the doorway. The guy had bent down so we could see his jack-o-melon mask.

"What a cute little mask! You're a funny guy, aren't you?" Mabel asked. The guy came inside the shack, the five of us backing up and grouping together.

"Funny, am I?" A little kid, probably 8 or 9 walked onto the porch. The guy grabbed the kid and ate him whole. The five of us screamed and for some reason, there was a flash. "There's only one way for you to avoid his fate. If you can collect 500 pieces of candy, and bring it to me before the last jack-o-melon goes out, I will let you live."

"500 pieces of candy in one night? That's impossible!" I told him. Back home, between the three of us, we only ever got 300, and that was in a good year.

"The choice is yours, children. You must trick-or-treat… or DIE!" The guy started laughing and grabbed onto the doorframe, pulling himself up and climbing across the shack roof.

"Do you know what this means?" I asked, slowly closing the door, trying to process what just happened.

"I do," Mabel said, her face lighting up. "It means you have to come trick-or-treating with us! Yay!" She grabbed me and started shaking me.

"Who was that guy?" Grenda asked us.

"I think it was the legend Soos told us about," Willow replied. If that was true, then all of us were SOL. Grenda grabbed me and started shaking me as well.

"What do we do? What do we DO!" She asked. I pushed her hands off of my arms.

"First off, stop shaking me. And secondly-"

"What's going on out here dudes?" Soos asked us as he came into the hallway. "I heard a ruckus. Hehe, that's a funny word, ruckus."

"Soos, a monster is making us trick-or-treat, or else he's gonna eat us!" I told him, hoping Willow was wrong.

"I got a picture!" Candy said, showing Soos her phone. That explained the flash earlier. He looked at it for a minute, then his eyes bugged out.

"The Summerween Trickster! You dudes are in crazy bonkers trouble!" He told us, Candy putting her phone back. I started pacing around, trying to figure this out.

"How are we gonna get that much candy in one night? There's no way!" I said, to myself. Someone started clapping. Mabel had climbed up a few steps and was looking down at us.

"Listen up people! Some might say that being cursed by a bloody-thirsty holiday monster is a bad thing."

"I wet myself!" Grenda announced. Mabel nodded, then continued.

"But that monster messed with the wrong crew. With Candy's spirit, Grenda's strength, Willow's creepiness, Dipper's brains, and ...Soos here, we'll get 500 pieces of candy and have fun doing it too, even if it takes all night!" She said, the others clapping and cheering. "To the streets!" She yelled, coming down the stairs.

"Wait, all night? But I'm sick, remember?" I stopped her, fake coughing again. She looked at me weird.

"What's worse? Getting eaten by a monster or trick-or-treating with us?"

"Well…"

"Just come on!" She grabbed my arms and dragged me outside. We were about to get into Soos' pick up, but then Willow ran back inside.

"Where's she going?" Soos asked us, starting the truck.

"Probably to get her crossbow," I replied. Sure enough, two minutes later, Willow came back, a quiver over her shoulder and the crossbow attached to her waist.

"If anyone says anything, I'm the Night Warrior," she told us as she got into the truck. Candy and Grenda were up front, the three of us in the back. Soos pulled out of the driveway, me hoping Willow wouldn't have to actually USE her crossbow.

 **GFF**

"I don't understand why we can't just buy our candy and be done with it," I complained. We were walking through town, our candy bags in the wheelbarrow I was pushing.

"That takes the fun out of trick-or-treat-or-die," Willow told me.

"I'm trying to take the DIE out of trick-or-treat-or-die," I replied.

"If we die then mom and dad won't have anything to look forward to at the end of the summer." Willow said. I looked at her and she realized what she had said. "That's not helping my point. Sometimes my creepiness kills me." She started laughing like the crazy person she is. I dropped the wheelbarrow and the six of us walked up to Lazy Susan's door.

"Trick-or-treat!" The six of us said.

"Is everyone in costume?" She asked. She pointed to Grenda, Soos, Candy, Mabel, and Willow. "Chimney sweep, elephant man, squeegee, ant farm, cheese, and what are you supposed to be?" She asked me.

"Um, I'm not dressed up as anything. We, we're kinda in a hurry here," I told her, hoping to make this fast and get to Wendy's party. Susan nodded and gave everyone else one piece of candy, closing the door when she was done.

"One piece of black licorice?" Grenda announced, glaring at the twist.

"Circus peanuts! This is loser candy," Candy complained. Mabel shoved a pile of clothes into my arms.

"We gotta up our game Dipper! You've gotta put on your costume!" She told me. I glanced at my watch, which read 7:30. There was no way this was gonna work.

"I told you Mabel, I'm not up to it!" I told her, fake coughing again and trying to give her back my costume.

"Oh really?" A deep voice asked. We looked up to the top of a street light. The Trickster swung down and climbed onto Soos' shoulders. He reached into Soos' bag and pulled out a piece of candy. "I've seen better," he told us, dropping the candy back into the bag. He jumped off Soos and grabbed a jack-o-melon off the ground, blowing out the candle. "Tick-tock…" he whispered, climbing onto the roof of a house and disappearing from view.

"So what was that about being too sick to wear a costume?" Mabel asked me. I sighed and kicked a rock, taking my costume behind a bunch of bushes. I started putting it on over my normal clothes, listening to the others.

"While he does that, I'm gonna go steal a bunch of jack-o-melons. Soos, come with me," Willow said. I heard her and Soos walking away as I adjusted my costume.

"Dipper, you changed?" Mabel asked me.

"Yes," I replied, depressed. Mabel didn't pick up on it, making a big deal about it to her friends.

"Introducing, for the first time in public…" I walked out from behind the bushes. "TADAH! Sun, moon and stars!"

"I will make you internet famous!" Candy said, taking a picture of me.

"Hey! Erase that!" I yelled at her, trying to take her phone. She kept it away from me, but still deleted the picture.

"Okay guys, we got 10 jack-o-melons, so we should be good," Willow said, walking up to us. She had three in her arms, and Soos was carrying seven. They put them on the ground, and the three of us rang someone's doorbell.

"Do you really think this will make a difference?" I asked before the person could answer. A biker opened the door, and the three of us started dancing. He teared up and dumped his entire candy bowl into our bag. We closed it up and went back to the others, dumping our candy into the wheelbarrow.

"Bad news dudes," Soos told us, holding up two jack-o-melons. "The candles in these two went out. We've only got eight left." He dropped the jack-o-melons on the ground, breaking them into pieces. We grabbed the others and put them in the wheelbarrow with the candy.

"In that case, we better hurry. Let's get that candy guys!"

 **GFF**

"498, 499. We did it!" Mabel announced excitedly. The six of us had actually done really well, getting all the candy we needed relatively fast. "We just need one more piece of candy."

"And it's only 8:30," I said to myself, checking my watch.

"Good thing too. We only have one jack-o-melon left," Willow said, putting it into the wheelbarrow.

"I'm gonna go grab the truck dudes. Soos, away!" He took off down the street, arms out in a Superman pose.

"Last one to the last house is a pair of wax lips!" Mabel announced, her and the girls running down the street.

"Perfect timing for me to go to Wendy's party, and no one needs to know I was trick-or-treating," I said to myself, lifting up the wheelbarrow and following the girls. A van came around the corner. _Shit,_ I thought as I recognized the van as Robbie's. I pushed the wheelbarrow into some bushes and took off my costume, hiding it just before the van stopped.

"Hey Dipper!" Wendy asked me, rolling her window down. "Are you coming to the party?"

"What are you doing out here?" Robbie added. I glanced behind me and kicked a piece of my costume into the bushes.

"Oh, um, I'm… I'm on my way. I like watching the trick-or-treaters. Reminds me of when I was younger," I told them.

"So you're coming, right?" Wendy clarified.

"Definitely, definitely."

"Cool. See you there." Wendy rolled her window up and Robbie drove away.

"Later guys!" I called after them.

"You're going to a party?" Mabel asked me. I turned around and saw her and the girls standing on the corner.

"Well, I-" Mabel threw a candy bar at my head and started yelling at me.

"That's why you were acting so weird and trying to hurry us! You're not sick at all! So if it wasn't for this crazy monster, you were gonna ditch me! On our favorite holiday!"

"Uh, guys," Willow interrupted, a concerned look on her face. Mabel ignored her.

"What happened to the Dipper who used to love Halloween?!" She asked, looking around. "And where's to all the candy?"

"Relax, relax. I left it behind this bush," I told them, pushing the bushes out of the way. "Oh shit." Turns out, there was a creek behind the bushes. Most, if not all of the candy was being washed away in the current.

"What did you do!?" Mabel glared at me.

"Well, I-"

"GUYS!" Willow yelled, her crossbow loaded. We looked around and all of the jack-o-melons were out, except one. Old Man McGucket was standing over it, about to blow it out. We all ran over to him, telling him not to blow it out.

"What's happenin'?" He asked us.

"Just don't blow out that candle!" I told him. He reached into his overalls and held a horn up to his ear. "DON'T BLOW OUT THAT CANDLE!" I yelled into the horn.

"I'm Old Man McGucket!" He announced, inhaling. Grenda ran forward and body-slammed him, the jack-o-melon landing in her arms.

"Nice one Grenda. That was close," I told her, the five of us sighing in relief. Dumb move; the candle went out.

"This is not good," Willow whispered, aiming her crossbow at any shadows.

"Knock, knock," The Trickster growled, walking into the light of a streetlamp. Grenda dropped the jack-o-melon, breaking it into pieces. Willow and I were in front, Willow because she was armed, me because brotherly protective instinct had kicked in. "So children, where's my candy?"

"I swear, we had all 500 pieces. Look, it's down there somewhere. We can still get it," I pleaded with him. He frowned and grew to twice his normal size, reaching about 12 feet tall.

"I'm afraid it's too late! That was your last chance!"

"RUN FOR IT!" Willow yelled, shooting her bolt into the Trickster's chest. Instead of hurting him, he just absorbed it into his body. The five of us scattered, running in different directions. Mabel tripped and fell, the Trickster picking her up. He grabbed the rest of us with four hands (yes, he had an extra set of hands) and started bringing me towards his mouth. Next thing I knew, a car honked and the Trickster exploded, the five of us crashing onto the ground.

"Whoa! You dudes alright?" Soos asked us, stopping his truck and coming over to us. We all nodded, beat up and scared, but alive. Soos glanced at the exploded Trickster parts that were scattered over the road. "That wasn't like, a regular pedestrian, was it?"

"It was the monster!" Mabel told him. Willow attached her crossbow to her waist, putting the bolt into her quiver.

"Thanks Soos. You saved our butts back there," she told him, side-hugging him.

"No prob dudes," he told her, hugging her back.

"I'm just glad it's over, right?" I asked Mabel. She just glared at me and walked back to Soos' truck.

"Talk to her," Willow whispered to me, climbing into the backseat. Mabel was on the right, Willow was on the left, and I was in the middle.

"Did everyone remember to put on their seatbelts?" Soos asked us. Four of us said yes, and Mabel nodded slightly, looking out the window. "Let's go!" Soos started the truck and drove down the road.

"Talk to her," Willow whispered again, putting her head in the corner between the headrest and window, closing her eyes. I looked at Mabel, who had her sleeve rolled up. She was rubbing her road-burned elbow.

"Hey, you okay?" I asked her. She turned her body away from me, looking out her window. "There are probably some bandages back at the shack," I tried again. She still didn't respond. I gave up, knowing I had messed up BIG TIME. But I also knew that Mabel wouldn't be mad for long. Even when she gets really mad and Willow or me, she never-

"Uh… Guys?" Mabel was looking out her window behind us, eyes wide. I looked out the back windshield. Parts of the Trickster were flying from the road behind us, shaping back into his form.

"FLOOR IT!" Willow yelled, trying to load a bolt into her crossbow. Soos hit the gas and Willow rolled down her window, trying to aim the crossbow. The Trickster leaped into the air and landed on top of the truck. Soos started swerving, hitting the bed of his truck into a phone pole. The Trickster fell off, and Soos turned into the parking lot for the Summerween Superstore.

"Hold on dudes!" He yelled, slamming the brakes. All of us covered our heads with our arms, curling up and protecting each other. The truck crashed through the window of the store, glass going everywhere. I looked up and saw that the truck had stopped against the check-out counter. None of the truck windows had broken, but glass from the store window was everywhere. "You dudes alright?" Soos asked us. We nodded and the six of us climbed out of the truck. Willow looked out of the hole we had made in the side of the store, crossbow ready to fire.

"He's coming! We have to hide!" She whisper-yelled, running back to us. We all ran behind the shelves. Soos hid himself between some costumes, Candy and Grenda hiding in one of the empty shelves. Mabel and I did the same thing, Willow staying out in case she got a chance to use her crossbow, even though it wouldn't make much of a difference.

"It's blocking the only exit," Willow whispered to us, ducking behind a floor display. The Trickster crossed the aisle and she started watching him from around the corner.

"Everyone, stay quiet!" I whispered unnecessarily. Mabel rolled her eyes at me.

"So NOW you care about the monster. I thought all you cared about was Wendy," she told me. How could she think that?

"Mabel, you know that's not true. I just felt like I was getting a little too old to go trick-or-treating.," I told her. I had honestly felt like that since we started middle school. It was fun and all, but like Wendy had said earlier, it was childish.

"That's why we NEED to go trick-or-treating Dipper. We're getting older and there's not that many Halloweens left!" Mabel told me. I was confused by that. Piedmont is a small town so there is no age limit. "I guess I didn't realize it was already our last one."

God, I'm an idiot. Mabel wasn't just an optimist; she was also a realist. All her scrapbooking wasn't just a hobby. It was because she knew things would change in the future. She wanted to make as many good memories as she could before she wasn't able to make them anymore. That's why she was so worried about me coming trick-or-treating; so the three of us could have fun together before it was over.

"Guys, now's our chance," Willow whispered, hiding behind the display again. "Let's get out of here."

"But what if it sees us?" Grenda asked.

"If only there was something we could use to cover our bodies and faces with. You know, like a disguise of some kind…" Soos whispered from between the costumes. I was surprised we hadn't been caught, considering he wasn't hidden very well. Willow grabbed some cloaks and masks off one of the shelves, giving them to us. We started pulling them on, Soos getting into a gorilla suit. The six of started sneaking towards the exit.

"Stay quiet, we're almost there," Willow whispered from the back, covering our escape. "Soos, what are you doing?!" We turned around and pulled our masks off, staring at Soos. He was standing next to the display of cackling heads, his hand up.

"Soos! Don't do it!" I told him, the five of us hiding behind the counter.

"Sorry dudes, but today's been way stressful. I need some levity," he told us, pushing down one of the heads. Nothing happened.

"Thank goodness, it was out of batteries," Mabel sighed, relieved. There was a rustling sound. Soos was loading new batteries into the bottom of the head. "Soos NO!" She yelled, but it was too late.

"No matter the score, I'm always a-head!" The head announced. Soos started laughing, the Trickster coming up behind him. Willow jumped behind the counter and handed us some fake swords. The Trickster ate Soos and we jumped out, charging at him. Candy, Mabel and I started attacking his legs while Grenda and Willow, the better fighters, cut off parts of his arms.

"Salt water taffy? Gross!" Grenda yelled after she cut off his hand for the third time.

"What are you-?" I hacked into his leg and something landed around my mouth. I licked my lips. "Wait, it is." We stopped attacking him and glanced back and forth at each other, confusion clear in all of our expressions.

"You really haven't figured it out yet?" He grew more arms and picked us up, bringing us right in front of his face. "Don't you recognize me? Look at my face! Look, closely…" He reached up and took his mask off.

"Loser Candy!" Mabel yelled. What we had thought was skin was actually mushed-up black licorice. His eyes were peppermints, eyebrows were Tootsie Rolls, and his teeth were pieces of candy corn. There were other pieces of candy scattered around his head, like lollipops and butterscotches.

"That's right! Did you ever stop and think about the candy at the bottom of the bag that no one likes? Every year the children of Gravity Falls throw away all of the 'REJECTED' candy into the dump. So I seek revenge; revenge on the picky children who cast me aside. I'm made of every tossed piece of black licorice, every discarded bar of old chocolate, with like that white, that white powdery stuff on it. You know that stuff!?"

"I hate that stuff!" Mabel yelled.

"No one would eat me. But now, I'm going to eat you, starting with THIS little trouble-maker!" He shook Willow around a bit, then brought her closer to his mouth. Before he could eat her, his stomach growled very loudly. "What's going on?" He started screaming and dropped us. His chest started squirming, and it tore open. Soos popped out, part of the Trickster in his hand.

"'Sup dudes?" He asked us, acting like being eaten by an evil candy monster is a normal thing. The Trickster fell onto the ground, puking jelly beans. "You dudes want any of this?" Soos offered us part of the Trickster's body. We all shook our heads, Soos taking another bite. The Trickster stopped vomiting and turned over.

"You actually think I taste… good?" He asked Soos. Soos nodded and took another bite. "All I ever wanted was for someone to say that I was… good! I'm so happy!" The Trickster started crying candy corns of joy.

"The crying makes it a little weird, but I guess I'm still eating," Soos announced. The Trickster's chest started squirming again, and the little kid the Trickster had eaten earlier popped out. "'Sup Gorny?"

"I'ze been twaumatized!" The kid announced. Candy went up to him and started talking to him.

"Do you know where you live?" The kid nodded. "Can you show us?" The kid nodded again, and the seven of us got into Soos truck, which surprisingly still worked. Gorny lived right next to the library, so we got him home no problem. We made sure he got in, then Soos drove back to the shack.

"Hey Stan!" "Hi Grunkle Stan!" "Hello Mr. Pines!" We said as we walked into the living room. Stan was sitting in his chair, watching the Summerween movie marathon.

"How's it hangin'?" He replied. Willow went over to him and they started talking about her creep-people-out ideas.

"Hey Dipper!" Wendy was sitting at the table, carving a jack-o-melon. "I didn't see you at the party. Where were you?"

"I was trick-or-treating, with my sister," I told her, putting my arm over Mabel's shoulder, not worried about what she thought about it. She just nodded and took the top of the jack-o-melon.

"Party was lame anyway. Robbie ate a lollypop stick first and had to go home sick," She told me. I tried not to laugh, but it didn't work very well.

"Aw man," Mabel said after I got myself under control. "We went to every single house and didn't even get to eat any candy!"

"Candy?" Stan reached behind his chair and held up two giant bags full of candy. "How's that for candy!"

We all started changing out of our costumes, Candy, Grenda and Wendy calling their parents (Stan had given everyone permission to spend the night). I was the last one to sit down. Everyone was watching the movie, eating the candy Stan had gotten. I sat down next to Mabel and put a band-aid on her arm. She smiled at me, our fight forgotten.

"You know kids? I've been thinking," Stan announced during a commercial. "At the end of the day, Summerween isn't about candy, or costumes, or even scaring people. It's a day when the whole family can get together at one place and celebrate what really matters: PURE EVIL!" We all started laughing evilly, glaring at the ceiling. We stopped when the movie came back on.

"I ate a man alive tonight." We all stared at Soos. Stan and Wendy were confused, but the rest of us got it. This was the only town where that statement would make sense and the person would not get arrested. And if what had happened to us since we had been here was any indication of what was to come, sticking together as one would be the most important thing we could do.

* * *

 **I wasn't really sure how to end that, but I think it worked out well. Really quick, my cousin is having a commissioning in two weeks. I'll try to release Boss Mabel on the 16th, but don't be surprised if it's not released until the 17th. Please leave a review, give me your thoughts, ask any questions you might have, and I'll see you in two weeks. Oh, and happy 4th of July!**


	12. Boss Mabel

**#MakeADifference I am sure many of you have heard about the shooting in Dallas, and the incident in France. There have been a lot of shootings and terrorist attacks all over the world recently. Everyone says that it shouldn't be happening and that they want it to stop. I know it is upsetting and tragic but if we don't do something about it, nothing will change. I know sometimes it is hard to make a difference, but that doesn't mean we shouldn't try. It's just like in this chapter. Mabel doesn't like the way Stan does things. She knows he's not gonna change on his own, so she tries to make him change. It was hard and it didn't work as well as she thought, but she tried. If you want something to change, you have to MAKE it change.**

 **Now that that rant is out of the way, I have a summer camp soon, so Deep End will not be released until August 3rd. I'll give you a status update again in that chapter. Also, my countdown says that there are EXACTLY 9 DAYS UNTIL THE REAL LIFE JOURNAL! We will finally get to know DIPPER'S REAL NAME! If you read it, let me know your favorite parts. Now then; SHOUT-OUTS!**

 **Gamelover41592- Thanks a lot man. Semper fidelis.**

 **MyFavLineIs- I love that part too. I also like when Soos said "I ate a man alive tonight" at the end.**

 **MyNameIsFlame- Thanks for all your questions. I should be able to have all of them included. Send in as many as you want, and you can ask anybody. Only condition is no spoilers.**

 **Lula Bear- Thanks a lot. I love writing this story, and I'm glad people like what I am doing with it. Enjoy this chapter.**

 **Disclaimer: I only own Willow and her creepiness. Everything else belongs to Alex Hirsch and the Gravity Falls team.**

 **Dipper's POV (July 1st)**

Willow, Stan, Mabel and I were taking a break in the living room, watching _Cash Wheel._ You spun a wheel to get money or prizes, and when it was your turn, you would try to solve a hangman puzzle.

"We now return to Cash Wheel! Sponsored by Chipackers, the chip flavored crackers!" The announcer said, one of the contestants spinning the wheel.

"But they taste just like chips!" Mabel exclaimed, feeding one to Waddles and eating one herself.

"That's kinda the point," Willow said sarcastically as the wheel stopped on cash shower. Money started raining down on the middle contestant.

"I like that guy's style," Stan announced when the guy punched the other contestants for trying to take some of the money.

"Mr. Pines!" Soos yelled from the gift shop. "We got tourists at 9 o'clock! A whole bus load of 'em!" We went into the gift shop, Stan looking through the window in the door.

"Hot Belgian Waffels, it's a jackpot! Soos, Willow! Go get some new attractions!" Stan called. Willow ran to her workshop, and Soos glued a wolf head onto a chicken's body. "Wendy, mark up those prices! The higher the better!" Wendy added a zero to a $2 snow-globe, making it $20. "Higher! Bleed 'em dry!" She added another zero, making it $200.

"Yeesh Stan. It's like when you see tourists, all you see are wallets with legs," I told him. I know tourists carry a lot of money, but no one in their right mind would pay $200 for a snow-globe. _Stan's lucky the people who come in here aren't in their right mind,_ I thought to myself. I was about to leave when there was a strange sound from outside.

"Clean-up on the front lawn!" Stan told me. I sighed and grabbed a bucket and a mop, starting outside. You would not believe the number of times Stan's made me clean up some car-sick kids' puke.

 **GFF**

"Why do I have to do this?" I complainedto Willow. Stan had made me dress up in a wolf costume, and she was helping me get the ears on.

"Because Stan's a con artist," She replied, adjusting my headband. "And he's a jerk. I mean, I don't mind making attractions for him, but he expects me to be able to do with spare parts that are just lying around. If he wants good-quality attractions he had better get some new parts, otherwise I'm gonna put an arrow through him."

"…a horse riding another horse!" Stan announced. He would be coming to me next.

"Here's your teeth," Willow said, handing me a pair of wolf fangs. "Don't die from embarrassment. If you do I'll probably have to clean it up and get toxic chemicals all over me from your guts." She jumped off the platform and went out the back door into the hallway. I put in the wolf teeth and faced the curtain.

"Be astounded at the horrible, pre-teen wolf boy!" Stan said, pulling the curtain back. The tourists all started taking pictures and clapping. I felt the blush in my face.

"Stan, this is demeaning," I told him, pulling out the wolf teeth.

"What? I don't know 'de meaning' of that word!" Stan said, he and the tourists laughing. "If you throw money at him, he dances." The tourists threw money in the air, and I tried (and failed) to dance for them. While they took pictures, Stan waved a jar around, catching their money. _Working for him is the worst,_ I thought. _This has GOT to stop._

 **Mabel's POV**

"Ladies and Gentlemen! Behold, Mystery Shack bumper stickers!" I told the people in the gift shop. Grunkle Stan had put me on register duty, and I was having fun with it. "You can stick them on your bumper, or over your husband's mouth. Am I right ladies? She knows what I'm talking about!" I pointed to an auburn-haired woman with glasses. She started laughing and looking through her purse.

"You are bad! How much?" I handed it to her.

"On the house. That's the Mabel difference!" I told her. Anyway, they only cost like five bucks a piece. "Thanks for visiting!" I called after her as she walked out the door.

"WHAT!?" Grunkle Stan walked out from behind a cardboard cutout of himself, glaring at me. "What do you think you're doing kid?"

"Business!" I told him, hitting random buttons on the cash register. He grabbed me and pulled me away from the register.

"Listen kid. You don't make money by giving stuff away. You're off register duty!" He pushed me towards the main part of the house.

"But… but-"

"No buts except for yours out the door. Now shut your yap and get to work!"

"Grunkle Stan, whatever happened to 'please' and 'thank you'? Oh wait, here they are!" I grabbed my bag of stickers and put ones that said 'please' and 'thank you' on his face. He growled and pulled them off.

"'Please' never made me any money, kid," he told me, smacking the 'please' sticker on the back of the register. He grabbed his chest, a weird look on his face. "Just saying the word is giving me a burning sensation," he growled, slapping the 'thank you' sticker on the back of Soos' neck. Dipper walked in without a shirt, wolf ears, and fuzzy pants.

"Stan, why do I have to wear this wolf costume? I think I'm getting hookworm," Dipper complained, messing with his pants.

"Yep, gluing dog hair to your body will do that to you," Stan said, laughing. Suddenly Willow barged in, a piece of paper in one hand and a hammer in the other. She was clearly pissed off, and for Stan's sake, he should be lucky she didn't have her crossbow. She walked right up to Stan, shoving the paper into his hands.

"I don't mind making attractions for you, but seriously, you have GOT to get me some better supplies. How do you expect me to make a centaur-taur out of that stuff?" _Centaur-taur?_ I thought. _I'll have to remember that one._ "If you want good-quality attractions, you either get me some better supplies or-"

"OR!" Dipper interrupted. "We could hunt down a real supernatural being in the forest and you could use that as an attraction instead of lying to people for a living!"

"And you should be nicer to your employees too!" I added, the three of us high-fiving each other, then smirking cockily at Stan.

"Look, you kids got a problem with how _I_ run _my_ place, take it up with the complaints department," Stan told us, holding up a trash can.

"I'm going to write them such a letter," I said, pulling a piece of paper and pen out from under the counter. I started writing, covering my words with my arm.

"Mabel, don't bother; it's the trash can. He's not gonna read it. It'll just cause more trash for the world to deal with as we rot away slowly." Willow said. I just continued writing, wanting to get my feelings out, even if Stan wouldn't read them.

 **GFF**

"And don't stop 'till you've covered that sign with glitter!" Stan yelled up to us. Soos, Wendy, Willow, Dipper and I were being forced to paint the Mystery Shack sign a bright, glittery pink to make it stand out more. "Glittery signs attract tourists! Also large birds," Stan added. As if on que, a bald eagle flew down and started attacking Soos. Luckily, he was able to fight it off without falling off the roof.

"Is it just me, or is having Stan as a boss seriously, the worst?" Dipper complained, putting down his paint roller.

"Not just you. It's the worst. Why do we even put up with it?" Wendy asked. Soos walked back over to us, giving us a piece of paper.

"I gave him a suggestion once; I had this idea where I could be the Mystery Shack mascot: Questiony the question mark. I'd ask people questions, do the question dance, stuff like that," he told us. The paper was a picture of him with his mascot costume on.

"That sounds amazing!" "Cool!" "Nice one!" "Totally!" We responded. Soos smiled, then it disappeared.

"Yeah, well… Stan said I couldn't handle it."

"HE SAID WHAT!?" I yelled. I put my paint roller down and climbed over to Wendy's secret roof entrance.

"Do you want my crossbow?" I heard Willow yell as I opened the hatch and started down the ladder.

"NO!" I yelled back, closing the hatch and entering the gift shop. Stan was outside saying goodbye to some tourists. I pressed myself against the wall by the door. Stan walked in, counting the money he had made.

"YOU!" I yelled at him. He jumped and turned around, but then kept walking when he realized it was just me. I started following him. "Stan, you've gone too far this time! Did you seriously tell Soos not to follow his hopes and dreams because he 'couldn't handle it?'"

"Look kid," Stan said, walking into his office and putting the money in his desk drawer. "I'm gonna break it down for ya. Being a boss is about commanding respect. If you give people everything they ask for, they'll walk all over ya."

"No way!" I said, standing on one of the chairs. "I bet you'd make way more money being nice than being a big grumpy grump to everyone all the time."

"HA! You think you know more about business than I do? You think you could wear this hat?" He pointed to his fez.

"Yeah! Cause I give people respect! And glittery stickers!" I put one on my cheek.

"HA! I'd make more on _vacation_ then you would running this place!"

"Then why don't you go on vacation?" He closed his mouth and creased his brow.

"Interesting… All right. I'm a wagering man. 2 days. 48 hours." He pulled out and alarm and set it for 48 hours. "You run the Shack and I'll go on vacation. If you make more money than me, I guess you're right about how I run my business, and I'll start running it your way. But if you lose…" he grabbed a white t-shirt and wrote LOSER on it. "…you have to wear this LOSER shirt for the rest of the summer!"

"Fine! But if I win, I get to be the boss for the rest of the summer! Plus, you gotta sing an apology song with lyrics by me! Mabel!"

"Whoa ho oh! You got yourself a deal missy!"

"No you got yourself a deal!"

"Deal!"

"Deal!"

"DEAL!" He slammed his fist on the table.

"DEAL!" I did the same thing, then put a pink heart sticker on his nose. "Deal…"

 **GFF**

Half an hour later, Stan was loading his bags into the trunk of his car. I was standing on the porch, a jar in my arms.

"See you in 48 hours! We'll see who makes more money," he said, closing the truck of his car. He took his fez off and threw it towards me, making it land on my head and slip down over my eyes. By the time I could see again, Stan was already speeding down the driveway.

"Mabel, did you just make a bet with a _professional_ con man?" Dipper asked me, coming onto the porch.

"Oh come on. Being a better boss than Stan will be a cinch. Profit, here we come!" I announced, holding out the jar. It slipped out of my hands and shattered all over the porch.

"You broke the jar."

"We'll get a new one," I interrupted, starting to clean up the glass. Dipper bent down and started helping me.

"I guess we shouldn't be too worried. I mean, how much money could Stan even make on vacation?"

 **GFF (July 2nd)**

It was the next morning, and Wendy and Soos had just come in. I had told all of them to meet me in Stan's office ASAP. I was sitting in Stan's chair, facing away from the door. I heard the door open.

"You wanted to see us Mr. Pines?" Soos asked. I turned the chair around and pulled myself towards the desk.

"Stan is no longer with us," I told them, adjusting the fake glasses I had put on. Soos started freaking out and crying.

"He's dead? NO! It should have been me!" He yelled, getting on his knees and making the sign of the cross.

"Whoa Soos! Chill out! Stan's not dead. We made a bet and he's on vacation until tomorrow," I told him. He stood up and held his hat in his fist, blushing.

"Thank you for that clarification," he mumbled, wiping away his tears and putting his hat back on.

"Anyway, Mabel's in charge now!" I announced, pointing at myself.

"Are those shoulder pads?" Dipper asked me. I nodded and started moving my shoulders up and down.

"It's just one of the up-to-date managerial tricks I learned from this book I found propping up the kitchen table," I told them, holding up the book and drinking from a mug.

"Three things," Willow started. "One, that book is from 30 years ago. Two, the kitchen table is now destroyed. And why does your mug say '#2?'"

"Because the real #1… is you!" I told them, holding up a mirror. They all started smiling and laughing, and I walked out from behind the desk. "Walk with me. With me as boss, you're gonna be noticing a few changes around here. My job is to help you be your best SELVES."

I had made SELVES into an acronym and written it on a chalkboard. "Satisfied, Every-day, Loving Life, Very much, Every-day, Satisfied. Great listening ears so far," I told them, giving each of them a thumbs-up sticker. "Waddles, hold my calls!" I called to Waddles, who I had hired as my secretary.

"I don't want to go to the hospital for eating poisonous stickers and nearly die." Willow said.

"No worries." I said to her as we walked into the gift shop and I jumped onto a chair, looking at the others. "Alright people, now rap with me. Wendy, how can I make your workspace more Wendy-friendly?"

"Umm, well, Stan never lets me hang out with friends at work," she said after a minute.

"Stan ain't here sister! Doors open! And Soos, I believe this is yours," I pulled out his Questiony the Question Mark costume and handed it to him. His face lit up excitedly.

"Questiony the Question Mark! I wish this was an exclamation point to show how excited I am!" He ran off excitedly, hugging the costume.

"As for you two…" I said to Dipper and Willow. I held up Dipper's wolf costume and Willow's attraction list, then threw them both in a shredder. "DIE! DIE! DIE! I want you two to head into the woods and don't come back until you found an amazing attraction!"

"Finally! It's time to show Stan how REAL mystery hunters do it!" Willow yelled, running to her workshop. Dipper grabbed a flail and jumped onto the window ledge.

"Dipper out!" He yelled, falling backwards out the window. Willow came back, quiver over her shoulders and crossbow ready. She threw it out the window, then dove out herself. She and Dipper took off, running into the woods.

"Okay then! It's time to prove that nice bosses finish first. In the next 36 hours, we're gonna fill this jar with six hundred billion dollars!" I yelled, drawing a red line on the new jar I had bought.

"Do you even know how money works?" Wendy asked me. I nodded and turned to Waddles.

"Of course. Waddles, run down to the shop and grab me a latte," I told him, giving him a bill. He ate it, so I gave him another one, which he also ate. "Whoa! You're a hungry little guy."

 **GFF**

Today was amazing, and it was only lunch! Even with Willow and Dipper in the woods monster-hunting, there were no major problems. I honestly thought we had done really well so far, and we still had a day and a half. I knew this was going to be easy. Right now I had just finished a tour, and was outside with the jar. All of the tourists were putting money in.

"Thank you! See you soon! Tell 'em Mabel sent you!" I called after the tourists. I had already filled the jar about a third of the way. I was about to go back in when someone called my name.

"Mabel! We got something!" I went back outside and saw Dipper and Willow coming up with a very large, squirming bag being dragged behind them. They were both beaten up-Willow's quiver half empty and Dipper's flail nowhere to be seen-but they didn't look like it bothered them. "This is gonna blow those tourists away!" Dipper exclaimed, leaning against the bag. Whatever was in there grabbed his arm. He and Willow started punching the monster, making it let go.

"You'll have to put it in a cage or else it will kill everyone on every tour. Soon it'll be just the three of us left trying to save the entire human race. Whether we succeed, no one knows." Willow said, acting like we were in an action movie. I ignored her, only taking the first part into account.

"Marvelous work valued employees!" I told them, about to go inside again. I stopped when I noticed Soos peeking out from behind a port-a-potty. "Who's that? Is it Questiony the Question Mark?"

"I'm starting to have second thoughts about this Mabel. I keep forgetting my lines, and this costume is more…" he walked out from behind the port-a-potty, wearing only the costume and his underwear. "… revealing than I expected?"

"Soos, don't give up. Anything is possible when you…" I started looking through Stan's management book. "…Imaginize it!"

"But, I don't know what that means," he said. I put my finger on his lips, shushing him. He tried to talk, but I shushed him again, moving my finger around his face.

"Maybe he shouldn't…" Dipper started.

"Shh…" I told him and turned back to Soos. "Believe in yourself…" I told him, walking into the gift shop.

"How's my favorite- What the?" A soda can flew across the room and landed at my feet. The gift shop itself looked like a tornado had come through. Wendy and her friends were kicking around a shrunken head. Wendy kicked it too hard and it hit a little boy in the face, making him cry.

"BILLY! Your face is ruined!" A woman, most likely his mom, rushed over to him and started looking at his face. I walked over to them, taking some money out of the jar.

"I'm so sorry about that. Have a refund," I gave her the money. She reached into the jar and took more, then lead Billy out of the gift shop. I looked at the jar, which was now only a fourth full. I looked over at Wendy, who had wisely sent her friends out. "Wendy, you've got a lot of cleaning up to do. Please?" I poked the sticker that was on the back of the cash register.

"Whoa, all this rule stuff is starting to make you sound like Stan…" Wendy said, drinking from a pit cola can. _Not good,_ I thought. _I'm trying to prove that Stan's running his business wrong._

"NO way! I'm nothing like Stan! In fact, umm… take the rest of the day off?"

"With full pay?" Wendy clarified. I nodded and laughed nervously, messing with my suit jacket. Wendy gave me a thumbs up and left.

"Mabel Pines, you are the best boss ever," I said, patting myself on the back.

"I'M QUESTIONY THE QUESTION MARK!" Soos yelled to a woman outside. The woman screamed and sprayed him with pepper spray. "AH! Dude, it stings so bad!"

 **Willow's POV**

"Ladies and Gentlemen!" Dipper announced. It had taken us at least an hour to get our find set up to show, but the reactions on the tourists' faces would be worth the cuts and scrapes we had gotten capturing him. We had him in a cage covered with a tarp, and we were showing him to a couple. We were both on stage, but Dipper was doing most of the presenting, me with my crossbow ready to make sure he didn't get out of control AGAIN!

"My name is Honest Dipper, this is Truthful Willow, and unlike our cheating uncle, we have something to show you that isn't a hoax! It almost killed us getting him into the cage. Behold: part gremlin, part goblin, THE GREMLOBLIN!" We pulled the tarp off the cage, revealing the Gremloblin. He wasn't that tall, but his shoulders were huge. He had green skin and red eyes, with pointy bat ears and a severe under-bite, two large fangs pointing upwards. He growled and shook the cage, then coughed up the arm bone of a person. (No, we had nothing to do with that!)

"Well that's fun," The man said, taking a picture. His wife didn't look impressed.

"It's fake honey. You can see the strings," she said, pointing to his shoulder hair.

"Those aren't strings; that's body hair!" Dipper complained, looking at the people like they were crazy. The woman looked around at the other attractions.

"Look at this dear. The Six-Packalope," she said, walking over to it. It was just a jackalope with fake abs attached, but for some reason it was one of the most popular attractions.

"Wordplay!" The man said excitedly, laughing and taking a picture. I ran over to them and dragged them back to the Gremloblin cage.

"Everything else in here is fake. This is a real paranormal beast. Fun fact about this guy; if you look into his eyes, you can see your worst nightmare." I told them, not trying to be creepy for once. The Gremloblin's eyes turned a bright, radioactive yellow, letting us know that he was showing the couple their worst nightmares. "Amazing, right? We work for tips."

"Umm, Wills, I think we should call 911," Dipper told me, pulling out his phone and dialing.

"Why do you…ooohh," I looked at the couple. They were shaking, their eyes yellow and hair standing on end. I started to lead the woman outside.

"Ambulance is on the way," Dipper told me, leading the man outside after me. We got them onto the porch right when the ambulance pulled up. Four paramedics ran up with gurneys, laying the couple down on them and taking them into the ambulance.

"Thanks again for visiting!" We called after the ambulance, wishing things had gone better.

"Back into the woods?" Dipper asked me. I thought about it, then shook my head.

"We should probably check in with Mabel first," I said, walking into the gift shop. Let's just say, it was chaos in there. The check-out line had a major back-up, and it looked like a mess. Mabel was running around, trying to handle everything at once by herself. I fired a bolt into the ceiling, the noise making everyone jump and turn towards me.

"You all can stay, but if it gets out of control again, the next one goes through you!" I yelled at them, aiming the head of the crossbow at everyone. They all nodded and calmed down, glancing at me scared. We went behind the counter where Mabel had collapsed.

"Well, we just made two people go insane. What about you?" Dipper asked her, sitting down.

"I'm exhausted. I gave Wendy the rest of the day off so I had to do her job," she told us, closing her eyes.

"Maybe you need to start being a little tougher around here," I told her, sitting down myself. She shook her head.

"No way. That's what Stan would do. I just need to think positive, be friendly, and everything will work out fine," she said, her eyes still closed.

"Okay, well, you can't do much when your asleep on your feet. Go lay down for a few minutes. We can handle it in here." Dipper told her. She looked at us relieved.

"You guys sure?"

"Yeah, no problem," I told her, standing up. "It's not like it could- Do you hear that?" There was a very faint growling sound than was gradually getting louder. I didn't know what it was for sure, but I had a bad feeling, and if it was right…

"EVERYONE GET DOWN!" I yelled, just in time. Thank god, everyone listened, ducking behind anything they could and covering their heads. The Gremloblin burst through the wall to the living room, wood going everywhere, most of the wall now missing. Everyone started running out of the gift shop, so I don't think anyone was hurt that bad. I jumped onto the counter, firing a bolt at the creature. He avoided it and it got stuck in the wall.

"How did he get out of his locked cage?!" Dipper yelled.

"Weeellll…" Mabel started. I rolled my eyes and fired again-nicked his ear-as Mabel explained. "I taped a key to the top of the cage for his 5-minute break!"

"YOU GAVE HIM A BREAK!?" I yelled at her, trying very hard not to put a bolt through her.

"He's an employee!... sort of," she defended herself. I sighed and fired again, this one slicing his bicep.

"We've gotta round him up. Where'd Soos go?" Dipper asked. He and Mabel were still hiding under the counter.

"He was stressed out so I told him to take a soothing nature walk," Mabel explained. I fired again, this one nicking his ankle before it landed by the TV that had gotten in here when he broke through the wall. I was loading another bolt when the static on the TV cleared, showing Cash Wheel.

"Guys, you might want to look at this," I told them. They poked their heads above the counter and looked at the TV. The host, Rich, was standing next to Stan, whose money counter showed $100,000.

"Ladies and gentlemen, Stan Pines is poised to become our grand champion! Anything to say to your fans out there?"

"See you tomorrow Mabel!" Stan said, holding up a white t-shirt with LOSER written on it.

"Not good. We have to-"

"GET DOWN!" I interrupted her, jumping off the counter and tackling them to the ground. The Gremloblin had thrown a Mayan calendar (no, we do not believe the world is going to end this year) at us. We had ducked just in time, the calendar getting lodged in the wall behind us. We ran out from behind the counter and into the living room. We hid behind the little bit of wall that was left and peered around the corner. The Gremloblin grabbed Mabel's sticker bag and started putting stickers on his face.

"What do we do? He's awarding himself stickers that he didn't even earn!" Mabel exclaimed. Dipper reached into his vest and pulled out the journal, turning to the right page.

"Umm, got it! 'When fighting a Gremloblin, use water…'" Mabel grabbed a cup of water and ran back into the gift shop, splashing it on his face. Dipper turned the page and continued reading. "'…only as a last resort as water will make him much, much scarier!' Who writes sentences like that!?"

"Mabel, get back here!" I yelled to her, making a mental note to shoot the author for his stupidity. Mabel ran back to us as the Gremloblin grew spikes out of his shoulders. The cuckoo clock rang 6:00 (normal closing time) and the Gremloblin opened his mouth, breathing fire and incinerating the clock. "Don't worry, he's gotta leave eventually!"

 **Mabel's POV (July 3rd)**

Oh, how wrong Willow was. It was almost 8:00 the next morning, and the Gremloblin hadn't left yet. Around ten last night, we had realized that he wasn't going to be leaving soon, so we decided to take shifts sleeping and standing guard. Two would be up, while one would be asleep, and we switched out every two hours. Willow and Dipper were standing guard when I woke up. The Gremloblin was pushing the button of Stan's Singin' Salmon, and by the looks on their faces, he had been doing it for a while.

"Anything?" I asked them, sitting up and rubbing my eyes. They shook their heads, Willow slapping her face a few times. Even though we had decided to take shifts, Willow had stayed up most of the night, only taking a sleeping shift once.

"Not yet. He started messing with the salmon about an hour ago, and I would shoot it, but then he'll find us, and I don't want to waste my bolts," Willow explained, glancing over her shoulder. There were only five or six bolts left. The salmon started making noise again.

"Why hasn't he left yet?" I asked, rolling my eyes. He started sniffing the air, and looked at our profit jar. He grabbed it and started eating the money. "Our profits! Stop!" I yelled, running towards him. Dipper and Willow were telling me to stop, but I wasn't listening. The Gremloblin saw me and picked me up.

"Don't look into his evil eye! You'll see your worst nightmare!" Dipper yelled. I started trying to break free, but it wasn't working.

"I wish we had an evil eye to show him!" I yelled back, accidently looking at his face. I tried to resist, but it wasn't working very well. I saw a bus stop next to a sign that said WELCOME TO PIEDMONT, our parents sitting on a bench next to it. The bus stopped and the door opened, and out came-

"HEY MONSTER!" Dipper yelled, making us lose eye contact. We both looked at him. "Take a look at this!" He pulled out the mirror I had used yesterday and held it up to the Gremloblin's face. Whatever he saw made him freak out. He dropped me and ran out of the gift shop, making another hole in the wall.

"At least he didn't do that much damage," Willow said, walking up to us, putting down her crossbow for the first time since yesterday. Again, she spoke to soon. The Gremloblin jumped onto a car and grew wings, flying up and breaking the totem pole. "Never mind." I put what I had seen out of my mind and started examining the damage. I picked up the alarm clock and started panicking when I saw the time.

"Guys, Stan's going to be back soon! We've only got seven hours to earn back our profits, or I've got to wear that LOSER shirt the rest of the summer!" I told them, showing them the clock. Dipper pulled out his phone and was about to call someone when Soos and Wendy came up.

"Hey guys! Why does this place look different?" Wendy asked, the two of them walking in through the hole in the wall.

"Wendy, Soos! Am I glad to see you! We've got a lot of work to do, but if we hurry we can still beat Stan!" I told them excitedly, grabbing a clipboard and pen off the counter. Before I could tell them anything, Wendy shook her head.

"Sorry, but I got a little headache, so maybe I should like, not work today."

"And I actually just met this pack of wolves, and I think they're going to raise me as one of their own, so I should really be at the den right now," Soos added, pointing into the forest. The two of them started to walk out.

"But hey, I'll see ya tomorrow," Wendy called over her shoulder. Soos stopped and pointed to some popsicles that were on the ground.

"BT dubs, anyone gonna eat these?" Okay, that was it. I snapped the pen and started yelling at them.

"ENOUGH!" The others gasped, but when I get mad, I get MAD, and I was on a roll, so nothing would stop me until I got it out. "I have HAD IT! I fought a monster to save this business, and this is how you repay me?! I'm gonna get an ulcer from your lollygagging!"

"Lollygagging?" Wendy questioned.

"Ulcer? You're acting different…" Soos added. I didn't know where the last part had come from, but I was still mad and fired up.

"You shut your yaps! I've been doing everyone's job while you bums have been bleeding me dry!"

"But I-"

"NO buts except yours on the floor cleaning! Now quit loafing and get to work!"

"Yes Mabel," Wendy said, running off.

"That's yes BOSS!" I yelled after her, slamming my fist on the counter. Something fell and landed on my head. I looked at the mirror on the counter and saw that it was Stan's fez. Then I realized that I had just started acting like him. "What have I become?"

"What you had to Mabel. What you had to," Dipper told me. I nodded and grabbed the money jar.

"We've got seven hours to turn this around! Let's go people!" I held up the jar, then started shouting out orders. "Dipper, call a construction crew! Willow, get some new attractions set up! Soos, get as much cleaned up in here as possible! Wendy, mark up the prices!" They all started running around, doing anything they could to let us win.

 **GFF**

"We put the fun in no refunds!" Dipper yelled to the last group of tourists. I was honestly surprised we had made it, but we did. The holes in the wall and totem pole had gotten fixed, the gift shop had gotten cleaned up, and with all of the raised prices and extra tours, plus people generously donating money to help with repairs, it had gone even better than I had expected.

"How'd we do?" Willow asked, her and Dipper walking back inside. They had taken over giving tours, Dipper even dressing up as a mini version of Stan.

"We filled the whole jar!" I announced proudly, all of us cheering. Soos entered dressed in his Questiony the Question Mark costume, one of those paper-printing calculators in his hand. He gave it to Dipper, then went into the bathroom to get changed. When he came back, Dipper was almost done crunching the numbers.

"Minus the money to replace all the furniture… supplies to fix the shack… that leaves us," he hit the enter button, the calculator printing some more paper.

"One dollar," I said, looking in the jar, sighing. The door opened and we looked up.

"Tick-tock! Time's up kids!" Stan announced, entering with a buzzing clock. "Nice to see you learned how to dress while I was gone," he added to Dipper. I have to admit; Dipper didn't look half-bad in a suit.

"How much did you beat us by?" I asked Stan, hoping it wasn't that much of a difference.

"I won $300,000!" Seriously? Dang man! "And then…"

"Stan, really?" Wendy asked, looking up from her phone. "It's all over the internet." She held out her phone, showing us the video of Stan in the final round of Cash Wheel.

"For a chance to double your money or lose it all; what is the six-letter word you use to ask for something politely? For example, 'May I _ have that?'" Rich asked Stan. Stan smiled cockily.

"Do I look like an idiot folks? The word is 'gimmee,' two E's," Stan guessed. There was a loud buzz, letting him know it was wrong.

"Oooh!" Rich said, looking at him sympathetically. "You know, because you've done so well, we're gonna give you one more chance. Let's try again. It's a 'P' word. Most people say it's the 'magic word.'"

"Pabracadabra! Final answer!" Stan guessed, the wrong buzz coming back.

"I'm sorry, Stan, but the word is-"

"PLEASE!" I sing-songed, pointing at the sticker on the cash register, Wendy taking her phone back.

"Apparently that word CAN make you money," Stan said to himself. Hindsight is killer. Dipper looked at the calculator, then back at Stan.

"So if you lost everything, then that means…Mabel! You won!" We all started celebrating, hugging and high-fiving each other.

"Well, according to our bet, I guess Mabel's the new boss…?" Stan tried, killing our good mood.

"No way!" "Not gonna happen!" "Bad idea!" We yelled, surrounding him.

"Huh? What?"

"Grunkle Stan, I had no idea how hard it was being boss. This place was cuckoo bananas until I started barking orders at people like you," I told him, giving him his fez back. He took it and put it back on his head.

"Yeah, well, gotta admit, it's kind of nice to be back, ya know?" He wrapped his arms around my shoulders, forgetting the whole thing ever happened. "Okay, okay, that's enough, get off me," he said after a minute. "And Soos, Wendy; Get to work! Umm, please. Ow, okay, still hurts," he muttered, grabbing his chest again. I was about to leave, but Willow called me back.

"Didn't your guys' agreement say something about Stan having to do some kind of apology dance if he lost?" She asked me. I grabbed my clipboard and started looking through my notes.

"Actually, yeah. I have it in my notes here," I said when I found the song.

"Your gonna die of embarrassment," Willow told him.

"That never happened!" Grunkle Stan tried. Wendy ran off to get the camera, but that would be nothing compared to what I had planned. "All right, okay. Let me just-" He exploded a smoke bomb and ran out the door.

"Grunkle Stan!" I yelled, running after him, glad something good had come out of this bet.

 **GFF**

We had really gone all out with the song. The parking lot was practically the sound stage of a movie studio. I was in a director's chair, the others standing behind me. Grunkle Stan was in front of a backdrop, wearing the sparkly orange jump-suit I had forced him to put on.

"Look kid, I'm not gonna-"

"Do it!" I yelled at him. He sighed and started bending up and down, singing terribly.

"I'm Stan and I was wrong. I'm singing the Stan Wrong Song. I shouldn't have taken that chance. Now here's my remorseful dance."

"Do the kicks!" I yelled. He uncaringly kicked his legs out. "Jazzier!" His fez fell off, landing on the ground. Gompers walked over and started chewing on it. They started having a tug-of-war, Stan complaining about his back. "What do you think?" I asked Waddles, who I had hired as the Assistant Director. He oinked and started chewing on the arm of his chair.

"COME ON! You stupid goat!" Stan yelled, looking between the goat and his hands. His fez had ripped in half, one part in his hand, the other part still in the goat's mouth. He looked at me in a what-are-you-going-to-do-about-this way. I sighed and put a megaphone up to my mouth.

"Take thirty!"

 **That part about Stan's fez was to give a reason as to why it would be different next chapter. Deep End is the first episode with the new symbol, and since that's the next chapter, I figured I might as well give him a reason for the new design. Remember, the next chapter will not be released until August 3rd. Please leave a review and I'll see you then. #MakeADifference**

 **PS: If you're in-between stories, check out Return to Gravity Falls by EZB. IT'S AMAZING, and should keep you busy for a while.**


	13. Deep End

**Again guys, I'm really sorry this is later than normal, but summer means vacations and camps, and I needed more time to get this chapter exactly how I wanted it. As for the rest of this month, there's going to be a hiatus until the end of the month. I'm sorry, but with vacations and school starting up again, I have decided to delay Carpet Diem until August 31st! But don't worry, I have a surprise planned to make sure the wait will be worth it to you guys. As for the Journal, I LOVED all of it (read in all in 2 days), but Dipper's real name was, honestly, kind of a disappointment after everything that's happened. Oh well, you can't win 'em all. Now then, shout outs!**

 **Gamelover41592- Thanks a lot man**

 **MyFavLineIs- I love that part too. Just wait until Tale of Two Stans; Willow and Ford will have an interesting meeting…**

 **Cinnabon6- I know it's better when both are there, but if I put Alex in each episode, he'll get in the way sometimes and other times neither him OR Willow will have anything to do. But don't worry, there will be a bit more of him coming up soon. Just wait.**

 **Disclaimer: I only own Willow and her creepiness. Everything else belongs to Alex Hirsch.**

* * *

 **Dipper's POV (July 5** **th** **)**

"Watch out, Gravity Falls, because at a 110 degrees, we're looking at the hottest day of the summer!" Toby Determined said over the radio. Yesterday we had fallen down a bottomless pit, but no time passed so we didn't miss the 4th of July celebration. Town tradition was a big cookout in the middle of town, then watching fireworks go off over the cliffs. It was a lot of fun, but today was TORTURE! It was over 110 degrees, and yesterday's 70 degree high made it seem even worse.

"Another squirrel caught on fire," Willow called from the kitchen. The five of us (Soos' car had overheated, so he was stuck here) were all lying around in the living room. Soos and I had taken our shirts off, the girls were wearing tank-tops and short-shorts, and Stan was in his lazy-clothes, his new fez next to his head. The new one had the same colors, but the design was less of a claw and more like Pac-Man with a tail. That was the fifth squirrel to catch on fire today. Even being used to California's hot temperatures, this was pushing the limit.

"All in favor of doing nothing all day say 'ugh,'" I muttered. All of them instantly grunted in response. The only one who didn't seem to be affected was Waddles. He walked over to Stan, who had ice cream all over his face from a failed attempt to cool off.

"I'm gonna throw this pig out of the house!" Stan complained. Waddles oinked and licked some of the ice cream off of Stan's face. "You called my bluff pig."

"It's so hot out there. I swear, if you put Waddles outside, we'll have bacon ten seconds later," Willow groaned, sprawling out on the floor.

"On the bright side, pun VERY much intended," Toby continued. "It's opening week at the Gravity Falls Pool!" That made all of us perk up.

"Pool?" "Today?" "Pun intended?" "We're gonna live!" "Quick! To the car!" All of us stood up and started to get our swimming gear, but Stan called us back.

"Kids, a little help here?" He called from the floor. This was the third time he had gotten stuck to the floorboards. We all grabbed spatulas and pried him off the floor. "Alright! Off to the pool!" He turned around and walked out the door, floorboards stuck to his back and a hole now in the floor. We were about to go get our stuff when Toby's voice came back on.

"And remember to be on alert for random wildfires!" On que, the sound of a fire started from outside, Stan screaming. Willow grabbed the fire extinguisher and ran outside with it. Mabel turned to me, smiling despite the heat.

"He'll be fine."

 **GFF**

"Ah, the pool! Sparkling oasis of summer enchantment!" Mabel announced excitedly when we got to the pool. It was pretty big, with plenty of room for lawn chairs. On the left there was a snack bar and bathrooms, with a towel bin and storage area on the corner.

"Yeah, nothing like sitting in a giant tub with strangers. It's like the bus but wet," Stan replied grumpily. I think he was just mad about the heat. I glanced over at Soos' beach towel.

"Why would a sun need to wear sunglasses?" I asked him. Willow answered, being her creepy self again.

"I know why! Taking them off is what causes solar flares. If he takes them off, giant solar flares will happen and will kill most of the world population. Then a disease will get out and turn people into mindless, cannibalistic zombies."

"I think that disease already got to you," I told her.

"Probably," she said, her smile fading slightly as she remembered how THAT had turned out. Mabel stopped and her face lit up excitedly.

"Whoa, whoa, whoa! Stop the presses! Who's that?" _Not again,_ I thought, realizing what had caught her attention. There was a guy about our age in the pool. He had long brown hair, and judging from his skin tone, I was pretty sure he was Hispanic. He was wearing a seashell necklace and had a pool raft in front of him. I did see anything wrong with him, but Mabel was still going through her boy-crazy phase and I knew this would be her newest crush.

"Word is dude never leaves the pool. People say he's a 'mysterious loner,'" Soos whispered to her, backing away and eating his chips. She started waving her hands up and down.

"Is it getting hot out here or is it just that guy?"

"It's the hottest day of the year Mabel," I told her, not wanting to have to deal with this when I was practically melting. "Besides, can't you go for one week without having a new crush on some random guy?"

"Uh-uh," she replied. Willow smacked the back of her head.

"Mabel, do you really think it's a good idea? So far this summer you've had crushes on a zombie, a bunch of gnomes, and an evil psychic. With your luck he'll end up being a merman or something."

"That could never happen," Mabel told her, then gasped. "Look at his little mustache hairs!" Okay, maybe he was a bit older than I thought.

"You are clearly enamored. Go to him," Soos told her in a breathless voice. She ran across the area, jumping over lawn chairs (and the people on them) and knocking over a basket of beach balls. "It's so beautiful," Soos said, tearing up.

"Mabel's all talk," I told them. "Wanna know a secret? She's never even kissed a guy before. She always messes it up somehow."

"Oi, women," Stan said, resigned. Willow hit the back of his head.

"Not all of us are that crazy," she told him.

"You're one to talk!" He told her, then screamed when water exploded in his face, rubber bits going everywhere.

"Hey Mr. Pines!" Wendy called down to us. She was sitting in the lifeguard stand, a bucket of water balloons next to her. She was wearing a red swimsuit that made her freckles and green eyes stand out. I was trying really hard not to stare, but I don't think it was working very well.

"Wendy? Where's the lifeguard?" Stan asked her, wiping his face off.

"I am the lifeguard. I make the rules, sucka! Boosh!" She started throwing water balloons at Stan, making him run away screaming. The four of us laughed, watching him run away.

"You work here?" I asked her. To see her like that every day, I would visit even if it was 20 degrees outside.

"I found out lifeguards get free snacks," she explained. THAT made more sense. "Plus, I get the best seat in the house."

"Yeah you do!" I said enthusiastically, laughing. "I've been laughing for too long…" I whispered to myself, staring at her again, hoping it wasn't too obvious.

"Dude, are you and Wendy having a secret staring contest? Cause I think you're winning…"

"Soos! Not now!" I whispered, pushing him and Willow away, hoping Wendy hadn't heard Soos. "So, um, you wanna go chuck more water balloons at Stan?" I asked her.

"I'd love to, but I gotta spend the day doing tryouts. We're looking for a new assistant lifeguard," she told me, gesturing at the other stand next to her.

"Hey," I started, my voice really high-pitched. I cleared my throat and tried again. "Hey, um, what if I was assistant lifeguard?"

"That would be so much fun! You're totally in dude!" She threw a rescue raft down to me, then pointed across the pool. "You just have to check in with my boss first, Mr. Poolcheck."

"Your boss?" The guy she pointed at was wearing a red shirt and white shorts. He had the muscles of a body builder and was doing finger push-ups. He looked at me, the look saying 'don't even think about it.' I gasped, then brought myself under control and walked towards him.

 **Mabel's POV**

One of the people at the pool brought the cute guy a glass of lemonade. He put it on the raft then continued watching everyone. I started swimming over to him. Something got in my mouth, but I didn't pay attention to it. I burst out of the water right next to him.

"Wow! Oh my gosh, how crazy bumping into you even though we don't know each other!" I said to him. One of the pick-up tricks I have been hit with/used is the 'Do I know you from somewhere?' line. Usually it works, but the guy just looked at me weird.

"How long have you been underwater?" He asked me, his voice really deep with a thick accent.

"That doesn't matter!" I told him, starting to cough. A band-aid flew out of my mouth. I looked at it for a second, then turned back to him. "So hey! My name's Mabel."

"Hola," he said in another language.

"Whoa! Are you Australian?" He started laughing.

"I am charmed by you sense of humor. And your bold lack of water-wings!"

"You're so funny! And your hair is beautiful…" He had really long, shiny brown hair. I reached out to touch it, but he grabbed my hand and stopped me.

"No, no it has silly tangles!"

"Mind if I…" I pulled out a comb and started running it through his hair.

"Why Mabel, you are so… forward!" He said, laughing again. _This is it! He likes you! Go for it Mabel! It's time! Ask him out on a date!_ I took a deep breath and asked him.

"So, hey, you wanna go dry off? Maybe hit the snack bar or-?"

"I-I'm afraid I cannot! For I have a terrible secret! I must go." He swam a few feet away from me, looking down at his raft guiltily. Maybe it was my curiosity, or the look on his face, but something about how he reacted made me even more interested in him.

"I'm upset. Yet intrigued!" I said to myself, climbing out and trying to come up with a plan to find out his secret.

 **Dipper's POV**

"…And that is why I think I'd make a good lifeguard assistant," I told Poolcheck. I had been BS-ing stuff to try to get him to hire me. He finished hammering a DO NOT TOUCH sign to the storage door and turned to me. He bent down and smelled me.

"SPF 100? Good, I like you. But this isn't an easy job. It's anarchy out there." I looked at the pool. Anarchy was one of the last words I would use. The only thing potentially problematic was Gideon walking over to where Stan and Soos were standing.

"I think I can handle it," I told Poolcheck.

"Can you handle this?!" He pulled his hand off his wrist. I screamed, but then I realized that it was just a prosthetic. "I lost my HAND to a pool filter. The pool may seem friendly, but she can turn on you in an instant. Which is why you must respect her rules! Do you think you have what it takes, boy? Huh? Do you?!"

I glanced over at Wendy, who was giving me a thumbs up. "Sure, I guess." He pulled a whistle out of his pocket and put it around my neck, then got down so we were eye-level with each other.

"Welcome to the deep end, son."

"Well, thanks, I-" I got cut off when he practically strangled me in a hug. "Yep, okay, this is happening. You can let go now sir." He nodded and let go of me, jumping on top of the fence. I looked down at the whistle around my neck, then ran over to where Wendy was locking Stan in pool jail. I knew better than to comment on that and instead focused on telling Wendy the good news.

"Hey Wendy! I got the job!" I told her when she secured Stan inside the area.

"Sweet! Wanna go abuse our power?"

"But what if Poolcheck catches us? He seems emotionally unstable," I asked her, looking at where he was doing sit-ups on the fence. Wendy brushed my comment aside.

"Don't worry man. We just gotta be sneaky about our rule-breaking. Race you to the no running sign!" She took off, me running after her. I glanced at Poolcheck, who for some reason was drinking the pool water. He looked at me, so I slowed down. As soon as he looked away, I took off after Wendy again, promising myself that I would do anything to make sure I could keep this job and spend time with her.

 **Mabel's POV**

I grabbed a sandwich and jumped in the pool, swimming over to the cute guy. I poked my head out of the water, the went back under when he looked at me. We did the same thing again before I jumped out right next to him and made him scream.

"Hey there! I brought you a sandwich. It's sort of wet, but it's still good. Blop." I put the now soggy sandwich on his raft. "I like sharing things. Sandwiches, secrets," I leaned closer to him and whispered, "Share your secret beautiful stranger."

"That wet sandwich does look delicious," he said, a breeze coming and blowing his hair back. "Oh very well. But you must never tell another living soul my terrible secret. You have to stay away from me because I am…" He pushed the raft away, revealing that the lower half of his body was a teal mermaid's tail. "…A Merman."

"Oh, thank goodness. I thought you were going to say you had a girlfriend!" I said, relieved. Hey, after what happened with Gideon and the Gnomes, a merman would be no problem. Although that fact DID explain a few things. "A merman… I should have known from your strange foreign fish language."

"It is Spanish," he told me. I nodded, then started asking him questions.

"Your voice is so deep and masculine… How old are you?"

"I am 12 years old." Twelve? Sweet! "Merman's voices change when we are like 3."

"So what's your name?"

"There are some who call me…" He pulled a guitar out of the water and played a chord on it. "Mermando! This is because Mermando is my name."

"But I don't understand Mermando. What's a merman like you doing in a public pool?"

"It is a tragic story Mabel. I was swimming with my friends-the mighty dolphins-in the Gulf of Mexico, when I was ensnared! The cargo was headed for Gravity Falls. Using all of my strength, I tried to escape back home, but it was not to be. I would have died of dehydration, were it not for the kindness of the forest animals. I fell down a sewage pipe and ended up here, and then I met you. But now that you know what I am, you must be seriously weirded out."

"What?! I don't care that you're a merman. You're like the coolest guy I've ever met. And you can play at least one chord on the guitar."

"Oh, Mabel, I have never met another human like you. Most of them leave when I tell them the truth."

"Please. This is probably the least-weird thing I've seen this summer." And nothing could be worse than what happened between me and Gideon.

"In that case, would you care to join me in a game of the Marco Polo?"

"Oh, yes Mermando, yes!" I yelled, throwing my arms around his neck.

"You are covering my gills. I cannot breathe," he choked out. I let go and sure enough, there were gill slits on both sides of his neck.

"Huh-huh, weird." I said, laughing nervously. I went underwater and started counting, knowing this would go A LOT better than my other crushes.

 **GFF**

We hung out most of the day, me grabbing us drinks and snacks. He had seemed really interested in learning about the human world, so I told him as much as I could about what happened up here. We were brushing each-others hair when a whistle blew.

"The pool, she closes. Can I see you tonight?" Mermando asked me, giving me the brush back.

"Sure. Where? Wanna go for a walk?" I asked, hopping onto the edge of the pool.

"Merman. I am a merman."

"Oh right. Then I'll be back tonight. Need anything before I leave?" He shook his head, smiling at me. I smiled back and left the pool, thinking about everything he had asked me.

As soon as Dipper and Willow were asleep that night, I grabbed one of my scrapbooks and drove the golf cart back to the pool. I parked it behind the bushes then jumped out and went to the fence. I threw my scrapbook over, then grabbed a pool skimmer and climbed over. I jumped in the pool with him and opened my scrapbook.

"This is a scrapbook of human stuff. Here's me and my siblings standing on our legs for the first time. And this is me and my sister kicking our brother in his legs. He couldn't move his legs after that! Can you imagine not having legs?"

"Let's skip this part," he requested. I nodded and flipped the page.

"And here's my whole family kick-boxing!" He sighed and swam away from me. "What's wrong?" I asked him. He pulled out his guitar and tried playing it, but it sounded weird. He turned it over and dumped water out of it, then turned to me.

"I too used to have a family once, back in the ocean. How I miss them…" He opened the seashell around his neck. In it was a picture of him, his parents, and his baby brother, all of them with identical necklaces around their necks.

"Mermando, why don't you just leave the pool?" I asked him as he closed his necklace.

"I tried only once, but escaping this pool required a plan that was bold and daring. I tried to jump out but didn't get far. I made a mess and got pecked by a woodpecker, then fell back in, and then the wolves came. But I'm glad I'm still here, because I met you." His eyes went up to the sky where a shooting star flew over the cliffs.

 _This is it Mabel! First kiss moment, here it comes! Just go for it!_ I puckered my lips and leaned in.

"What are you doing with your mouth?" I opened my eyes and saw that he was staring at me weird. Thinking fast, I tried to pass it off as something else.

"Me? Nothing. I was just eating some sour candy, so my lips were doing that, because the candy was so sour," I told him. He believed me too much.

"Can I have some candy?"

"No." We hung out a bit more, but he had kind of closed up after the family talk, so I left earlier than I normally would have.

"Will you visit again?" He asked me.

"Of course. I'll see you as soon as the pool opens," I promised. I jumped over the fence again and waved before I went back to where I had parked the golf cart. It was in the same spot, but there was something sitting in the shot-gun seat. "BEAR!"

"I'm not a bear, although I could go find one for you if you really wanted it," Willow said, climbing out of the cart.

"H-How long have you been there?" I asked her, hoping it hadn't been that long.

"Long enough." Great. She had heard everything. When Willow didn't want to be seen, she wouldn't be seen.

"So you know he's a merman?"

"Didn't until you told me."

"Wait, what?"

"I woke up because I realized I had left the hot glue gun on in my workshop and saw that you were gone. BTW, there's a leak in the gas tank. That's how I was able to follow you. I only got here a minute or two ago, but you told me all I needed to hear." We got in and I started driving back to the shack.

"Please don't tell anyone that he's a merman! I really like him, and he made me promise not to say anything!" I begged with her as I turned onto Gopher Rd.

"I won't tell anyone, but you owe me." Thank God. Willow might be creepy, but she ALWAYS kept secrets when she needed too.

"Thank you!" I told her, stopping the golf cart. She nodded and we snuck back inside and upstairs. Dipper was still asleep, kissing a pillow that had Wendy's picture on it. Willow grabbed a camera and took a picture of the scene. We laid down and started to fall asleep, me thinking about Mermando and his family the entire time.

 **Dipper's POV (July 6** **th** **)**

"Nice one man!" Wendy told me. It was the next day, and we were playing ring toss. The rings were life savers and the poles were Sheriff Blubs and Deputy Durland. I had just thrown one over Blubs, trapping his arms by his side. Wendy threw another one around Durland's body.

"One hundred points!" I announced as they started rolling around on the ground.

"Dude, with this job, you and me are gonna be having fun all summer!" Wendy told me. Wait…

"All summer?" I asked, trying not to blush. "That's-" A whistle blew.

"PINES! HERE, NOW!" Poolcheck yelled up at me, pointing angrily at Blubs and Durland. I got down and followed him to the supply closet. He started pacing in front of me, yelling like a drill sergeant to the soldiers. "You gave me your word that you would RESPECT the safety rules of this pool!"

"Mr. Poolcheck, are you crying?"

"That's not important right now!" He yelled in my face, wiping his eyes anyway. "You're on the nights, boy! You wanna keep this job? Well some MANIAC broke into the supplies closet last night and broke our one and only pool skimmer! I want you on a stake out! If one more supply gets taken, you're fired!"

"I won't let you down!" I said, saluting him. Like I said, I promised myself I would do ANYTHING to keep this job, and I wasn't about to break it.

 **Mabel's POV**

"Mermando, get ready! I'm gonna bring the heat!" I yelled. I hit a beach ball to him, but it hit his head. He didn't even react; just kept his head down towards the raft. "Mermando, are you okay?"

He swam over to me and I realized he was looking at his necklace. "Oh, it's your family, isn't it? Are you thinking about them?" He nodded slightly and made a dolphin sound. "Mermando, enough is enough! I care about you too much to see you like this. We're gonna bust you out of here and get you back to your family!"

"But Mabel, escape is impossible!" He told me, although he did seem to cheer up at the prospect of being with his family again.

"We're breaking you out of here tonight!" I yelled, slamming my fist into the water, splashing both of us. "Oops, sorry about that. Water."

 **GFF**

"Willow, I need your help!" I said, walking into her workshop that night. Dipper was standing guard at the pool, and for some reason Grunkle Stan had left, so it was just the two of us. I had come up with a plan to get Mermando to the lake and back to his family, but I still needed to make it.

"What do you need me to do?" She asked, turning around from an old bigfoot exhibit. I handed her a paper with my plan on it.

"I need you to help me tape together fish sticks to make prosthetic legs for Mermando so he can walk to the lake and visit his family."

"Uuummm…" she trailed off, looking between me and the paper. "That won't… you can't… it's not… you know what, never mind."

"What's wrong with it?"

"Don't you think it would be easier to use the cooler from the pool supplies?

"Probably. Can you come with me?"

"Are you sure? I thought you said not to tell him."

"I did, but I might need your help. So will you help me?"

"You owe me big time," she said, walking out of the room. She grabbed the keys and drove to the pool. She parked in the bush and jumped out, looking through the bush.

"Coast is clear, but there's a giant hole in the fence," she told me, jumping back in and driving backwards through the fence.

"Mabel!" Mermando called. I went over to him as Willow grabbed the cooler from the supply closet and started filling it with water.

"Are you ready to see your family?" I asked him, pulling out my original design.

"Yes, but how can I, a merman, possibly escape?" I handed him the design.

"Okay, my original plan was to tape together a bunch of fish sticks to make you a prosthetic pair of people legs."

"Intriguing…"

"But then I told her it would be easier to use this cooler," Willow said, turning off the hose. Before he could freak out, she made him calm down. "Mabel didn't tell me anything. I figured it out myself. That raft may be effective from up high, but it doesn't do much underwater."

"But you're not going to have to worry about that anymore," I told him. We moved out of the way so he could get in the cooler. He jumped out of the pool, flopped around a bit, then hopped in.

"Hey! Who's there?" Dipper asked. He was walking over to us, flashlight in hand.

"Quick! Hide me! My kind must not be seen!" We crammed Mermando into the cooler just in time.

"Mabel? Willow? Is there anyone NOT breaking into the pool tonight? What, is Soos here too?" On que, Soos fell off the fence and landed on the ground.

"I'm okay," he called.

"Go home Soos," Dipper said without turning around. Soos started trying to climb back over the fence as Dipper turned back to us. "So why are you two here?"

"No reason," I lied. From the cooler, Mermando cleared his throat.

"Did that cooler just clear its throat?" Dipper asked.

"Don't be silly. There certainly isn't a merman in there, if that's what you're implying. Who said anything about a merman?" Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Willow getting in the golf cart.

"Mabel, I don't have time for your games. If you don't give me those supplies, I'll lose the coolest job ever!"

"Dipper, look! Wendy in a bikini!" Willow yelled. Dipper turned around and I jumped in the cart, flooring the gas.

"HAND OVER THE POOL SUPPLIES IN THE NAME OF POOL LAW!" I glanced behind me and saw Dipper following us in the pool mobile, a megaphone up to his mouth.

"Pool law is dumb! And so is your hat!" I yelled back at him. He started firing water balloons at us. Willow climbed over the seats and started batting the water balloons away.

"How much farther?!" Willow yelled. A sign for the lake came into view.

"3 miles!" I yelled back, turning right. She was doing really well knocking the balloons out of the way. They still burst, but I was still able to drive without swerving too much.

"Son of a-" "I cannot breathe! You must hurry!" I glanced back again and saw that the water was leaking out of the cooler. I floored the gas again just as the lake came into view.

"HOLD ON!" I yelled, slamming the brakes. The cart tipped over but I was able to jump out in time. Willow and the cooler were on the ground next to me. "I'm okay," I said, standing up. Dipper stopped the pool mobile and started walking over to us.

"Alright Mabel, the jig is up! Hand over that cooler!"

"Never!" I yelled, covering it with my arms.

"Why not? Why do you even need it?" I sighed and told him everything.

"I needed the cooler to save my new friend because he needs to go home and he's really nice and we combed each-others' hair and he needs to be in the cooler because he breathes water because he's a merman!" I knocked open the cooler and Mermando rolled out onto the ground.

"Hola," Mermando waved to Dipper with his tail. Dipper's eyes bugged out and he looked between the two of us.

"Whoa! Way to bury the lead Mabel." I helped Mermando sit up and made the introductions.

"Mermando, this is my brother Dipper. Dipper, Mermando the merman. He's a merman." Mermando waved again, this time with his hand.

"Nice to meet you. Also, I think I am dying." Wait, what? Mermando fell on his back and started panting, his face going blue. "Water! Agua! Yo necesito!" A fly came over and landed on his eye. He didn't even blink; just kept gasping. I waved the fly off and started trying to help him.

"Oh no! Mermando! Dipper, you're a lifeguard! Give him CPR!"

"Mermen don't breathe air!"

"Then give him reverse CPR! Doi!" He ran to the pool mobile and grabbed a water bottle, then ran back and got on his knees by Mermando's shoulder. He put water in his mouth then started giving Mermando mouth-to-mouth.

"I hate this!" He filled his mouth again and repeated the process. Willow grabbed a camera and took a picture of them, laughing to herself. Dipper pulled back and Mermando shot up, breathing heavy but alive. I threw my arms around him as he talked to Dipper.

"Gracias mi amigo, but why didn't you just roll me into the lake?" We all looked at the lake, which was literally only two feet away. Dipper smacked his forehead as Willow and I grabbed Mermando's arms. We carried him across the dock and threw him into the lake. He swam around a few times then came back to the dock.

He started making dolphin noises, but broke off and started coughing. "I am weak from coughing. How will I get my family to hear my call from the mighty depths of the ocean?"

"I got it, BRB!" I ran to the pool mobile and grabbed Dipper's megaphone then came back. "Problem solved!"

"Mabel, you can't!" Dipper told me, taking the megaphone. "This belongs to the pool. I'll get fired!"

I might be going through my boy-crazy phase, but this was different. My other summer crushes, the supernatural part of them drove us apart. This time it brought us together. I've seen how Dipper acts around Wendy, and I knew that we were both in the same situation.

"Dipper, pretend that was Wendy. You of all people should know what it feels like to fall for someone but know in your heart it will probably never work out, but you'd still do anything for them." I saw the pieces click in his mind. He sighed and held out the megaphone.

"Give Mermando the megaphone," he said, resigned. I promised myself I would make it up to him one day.

"Thanks Dip." I got on my knees on the edge of the dock and gave Mermando the megaphone.

"Mabel, I have never met another human like you," he said, taking the megaphone.

"Same here. Except for a zombie, a gnome, and a couple of cute vampires." Honestly though, I regret the vampires.

"I don't remember the vampires," Dipper said from behind me.

"Some things are just for girls. Now hush up or…" I was pretty sure she showed him the picture she had taken.

"Thanks Wills," I called over my shoulder. Then I turned back to Mermando. Man, goodbyes are rough. "Well Mermando, I guess this is it."

"Not quite. This is!" Before I knew what was happening, he was out of the water, our lips locked together. It was everything I was hoping for from my first kiss.

"Okay, that is gross!" Dipper said when we pulled back. Willow was looking at her camera, smiling at us. Then what had just happened hit me.

"OMG! That was my first kiss!" Then I turned to Dipper. "Hey, it was also kinda your first kiss too, huh? Huh?"

"Please don't involve me in this," he shuttered. I nodded and went back to Mermando.

"Goodbye Mermando," I told him, trying not to cry.

"Goodbye Mabel." He dove under water and swam away.

"Hey. I got this," Willow said to me. She handed me the camera. On it was a picture of me and Mermando kissing.

"It's perfect. And you did the right thing Dipper." We started walking off the dock.

"Yeah, yeah, whatever," Dipper said, walking over to the pool mobile as Willow went to the golf cart. He and Willow started starting them up. I looked at the lake and saw a rock bed.

"Wait, wait! One more thing!" I ran out onto the rock bed, my hand in the air. Mermando jumped out of the water and flew over me. "Yes! I've always wanted to do that!" I walked back over to them.

"Look at this," Willow said, showing me her camera. I was on the rock bed, Mermando right over my head.

"Thanks Wills. The pictures you took are perfect."

"No prob. I'm gonna take the golf cart back to the shack. You coming with me or…"

"No, you go ahead. I'm gonna go with Dipper back to the pool." She nodded and left in the golf cart. I got in the pool mobile with Dipper as he started driving back to the pool.

"I'll tell your boss it was all my fault if you want me to," I offered him. Surprisingly, he shook his head.

"It's okay. You haven't met him, but trust me, he could make a drill sergeant cry. I'll take the heat."

"Are you sure?" He had taken the job to spend time with Wendy. Giving Mermando the megaphone would get him fired, so if I could make him be able to keep the job, I would do anything. He still shook his head.

"I'm sure. It's cool." I saw the regret in his face, and again I promised myself that I would make it up to him sooner or later.

 **Dipper's POV (July 7** **th** **)**

Poolcheck was pacing in front of me again, yelling like crazy. Like I told Mabel, he was the drill sergeant of drill sergeants.

"A wrecked fence, dents in the pool mobile, and a missing megaphone? Who is responsible for this?!" I glanced over at Mabel, who was watching us from the edge of the pool.

"It's my fault sir. I'm sorry. I got in too deep." I know I promised myself I would do anything to keep this job, but no matter what, family comes first. If I had learned one thing from my parents, it was to protect the girls at all costs. I winked at Mabel, who mouthed 'thank you' at me, then I turned back to Poolcheck.

"Hand, over, the whistle, BOY!" I took the whistle off of my neck and handed it to him. He put it in his mouth and bit down, breaking it into pieces. I started to back up as he swallowed the whistle. "If one more thing goes wrong today-"

"You're free now! Free!" I turned around and saw Soos throwing the inflatable ducks over the fence. "Inflatable ducks untie!"

"YOU!" Poolcheck yelled. Soos climbed over the fence and started running. Poolcheck ran through the fence and started chasing him. I started walking away when a water balloon exploded in my face.

"Hey goofus," Wendy said, walking up to me in her normal clothes. "You'll never guess what happened. I just got fired."

"What? Really?" I asked, falling into step beside her.

"Yeah. I guess Poolcheck found out I was taking too many snacks."

"How many?" She took her hat off. Under it were three bags of chips. We both started laughing as we left the pool.

"Hey, wanna go break rules somewhere else?" She asked me.

"Of course!" I replied, happy I got the best of both worlds. Mabel had peace of mind, and I got to hang out with Wendy without feeling guilty.

 **Mabel's POV**

I smiled as Wendy and Dipper left together, then looked back at the water, thinking about Mermando. My lips were still tingling from our kiss. I was glad he was going home, but I wished I could hear from him and make sure he got back okay.

A green bottle popped out of the pool vent next to me. In it was a rolled up piece of paper with my name on it. I pulled it out of the water and took the paper out. I smiled as I started reading it, Mermando's voice saying the words in my head.

 _Dear Mabel,_ _I am home with my family and I am very happy. Our first kiss will always hold a place in my heart. Technically hearts. As a merman I have like, 17 hearts. Horrifying but true! *More bottles on the way!_

Just as I finished, more bottles started popping out of the vents. I don't know why, but I started giggling like crazy, tears coming out of my eyes. I know knew how Willow felt when Alex was around. It was the best feeling ever, and I didn't even care that I had gotten hurt. Mermando was worth suffering for.

* * *

 **I can't take full credit for that last line. It was a variation of a famous Bob Marley quote. Again, I'm really sorry about the hiatus, but after that, things will be back to normal. And the #CipherHunt is over. A group found it last night. But, because of a very amazing group of people who continued working on the "puzzle from hell" we will be getting the Gravity Falls pilot very soon. Keep your eyes and ears open! Anyway, please leave a review and I'll see you on Dipper and Mabel's 17th birthday!**


	14. Carpet Diem

**HAPPY BIRTHDAY DIPPER AND MABEL! They are turning 17 this year! And what better way to celebrate their birthday than with the episode that started the 'Stan has a brother' theory? This is the longest chapter yet, and I can't wait for you guys to read this. And remember; keep sending in questions for the Q &A! It's coming up sooner than you think! Now then, SHOUT-OUTS!**

 **Gamelover41592- Thanks for your review! The reason I skipped Bottomless Pit was because of the lack of continuity. That reasoning goes for all of the episodes I'm going to be skipping.**

 **Random'Alley412- Thanks for your review!**

 **MyFavLineIs- I loved that part too. It was a good way to make a serious situation funny. And I'm glad you caught that reference. Why, James? Why him? Literally ANYBODY else, and I wouldn't care! He could have killed EVERYONE except him and I would have been fine! CURSE YOU PAGE 250!**

 **Billsteven- Thanks for your review! The reason for skipping both of those episodes, and the future ones I am going to skip, is because of the lack of continuity present.**

 **BerrySherry- Thanks for your review! I'm glad you like my OC's.**

 **SFET- Thanks, and hopefully this is what you are looking for!**

 **Coin- I understand what your trying to say. This is my first story, so I'm still trying to figure a few things out. In no way am I an expert writer, so your review is going to help me out a lot. I don't know your writing history, but you should know as well as I do that any writers first story is not their best. But I'm figuring it out. And now that I'm getting into the main part of the show, I should be able to do more with the story. This chapter is a bit different, so please give me your thoughts. If you could get an account, I would love to talk to you more and get your advice, and maybe read some of your work.**

 **Disclaimer: I only own my OC's. Everything else belongs to Alex Hirsch and the GF team.**

* * *

 **Dipper's POV (July 8th)**

The three of us were playing Attic Stuff mini-golf to take Mabel's mind off Mermando. She had loved it since we were little kids, so it was the perfect distraction. Willow had just gone and got the ball in with 3 hits, so now it was Mabel's turn. She stepped up to the tea, which was just some toothpicks that we shoved in between two floorboards. She hit the ball really hard. It bounced off a stuffed seal, then moving cars and my bed and went right into the hole, which was an empty can of beans.

"Hwaah! Total domination! I am the master of Attic Stuff mini-golf! From the mighty Swiss Alps! (Which was just a fan.) To the badlands of Dipper's old laundry where man fears to tread!"

"More like the master of being stupid," Willow said.

"Your just jealous!" Mabel replied.

"Yeah, right. I'm jealous of the really perky girl who will one-day die from saying something to someone that was supposed to be a perky joke. She'll get killed like the people killed Bloody Mary," Willow told her. Recently she had tried to get Mabel to not be as perky. So far it wasn't working very well.

"At least I don't creep people out everywhere I go." Mabel responded, ignoring the last half of what Willow said.

"Thank you!" Willow replied; she likes being called creepy. "Can we get on with the game now?"

"All right let a pro on the field. Or floor." I said as I grabbed my club and walked up to the toothpicks. I hit the ball really hard. It shot up, broke the window and went outside.

"Ah, my head! It hit me right in the head." Stan yelled from outside.

"Yes! Stan shot! Is that legal?" I asked excitedly. We looked over to Waddles, who we had made judge. He was eating the score card.

"The judges say it's out of bounds," Mabel said, smiling.

"Your both out of bounds," Willow replied. Mabel and I tackled her and started play fighting on the floor. A few seconds later, Mabel's cat alarm clock started going off.

"Sorry guys, I gotta hang out with Candy and Grenda tonight," she said, standing up.

"Aw, again? You can't leave mid-game." I said, disappointed. Ever since the Summerween incident, she had been having sleepovers with her friends almost every night.

"I don't really care. I need to do work in my workshop. Peace!" Willow grabbed her backpack and went downstairs.

"Anyway, I'm not leaving. My friends are coming to me!" Mabel said happily.

"Wait what?" I said as I started looking around. I saw sleeping bags, Rom-coms, Calling All Boys: Preteen addition. "You're not having a-" I started saying when Candy and Grenda opened the door and came in.

"Sleepover!" They both said at the same time.

It had been about an hour since the sleepover started. Mabel was sitting on the floor with Candy, Grenda, and Waddles.

"How much do you like boys?" Mabel asked. I was so bored; it was like living hell. I grabbed my book and started trying to read. About 30 seconds later the three of them started screaming. I threw my book and then grabbed my pillow and put it over my ears. It wasn't muffling anything.

"Who wants to smear makeup on my face?" I heard Grenda ask.

"You're already so beautiful Grenda what would be the point?" Mabel asked.

Grenda started punching the floor and chanting "Beautiful! Beautiful!" A few seconds later Willow opened the door.

"Are you all okay?" She screamed. They ignored her and started putting make-up on Grenda's face. Willow looked down at them and rolled her eyes. She grabbed a pen and her notebook from her pocket and started to write on it. After a few seconds she handed it to me. It said;

 _I hope the make-up eats away at her face and mouth so we don't have to hear her scream anymore._ I smiled and grabbed my own pen and wrote;

 _We should put it on all their faces. That's the only way they'll be quiet._ I handed it back to Willow. She read it, nodded and then left to go back downstairs.

"Mabel! Do you think you can go somewhere else? You're laughing at frequencies only dogs should here," I asked them, really pissed off now.

"Come on, it's not that bad," she told me.

I was about to say 'yes it is' but Grenda asked, "You know what your brother needs?"

"A makeover!" Candy said. I grabbed my blanket and pillow and left before they could do anything to me. I saw Soos fixing something in the bathroom.

"Hey, Soos, can I sleep in your break room tonight?" I asked him.

"Of course dude," he said, opening the door to his break room. There were a bunch of pipes with steam coming out of them. "You just gotta make your body go like a video game puzzle block." He started to make weird video game noises. He got into the empty space and moved his body in a weird shape. "The trick is to hold perfectly still." He moved his arm down onto one of the pipes and got burned. "Ow, wait wait." He did it a few more times and then I just left.

I decided to walk downstairs to see if I could sleep in the workshop. I opened the door and Willow was almost done fixing an old bigfoot exhibit. She only had one patch of fur left.

"Hey Willow, can I sleep in here tonight?" I asked her. She had stayed up all night more than once to work on old exhibits. I had a feeling she was going to do this tonight because she probably won't be able to sleep anyway.

"Yeah sure. As long as you don't mind me having the light on all night." She said as she grabbed the last patch of fur to put on bigfoot. A few minutes later I had just gotten done putting my stuff on the floor. Willow grabbed two headless horses and started nailing them together. When I saw that she also had to attach it to a pedestal, I decided to sleep outside.

I had put my things down on the ground and lied down. "Ah… sleeping under the stars… not bad." I said to myself as I closed my eyes. A few seconds later I heard a weird growling sound. I opened my eyes and I saw a wolf. It came over to me and started chewing on my leg.

"Get off! Get off!" I said as I looked up through our bedroom window. I saw Mabel, Candy, and Grenda dancing and singing. I looked back down at the wolf which was still chewing on my leg. "This is still better." I said as I lied back down.

I was actually starting to fall asleep. I was in that asleep-but-can-hear state when I heard someone say, "Hey Brainiac. That wolf really likes your leg, doesn't he?"

"Yeah, I guess so." I said without waking up or thinking. "Wait, Brain-?" I sat up and saw Alex standing next to me. "Alex? What are you doing here?"

"More importantly, why are you sleeping outside on the ground?"

"Mabel's having a sleepover in our room so I can't sleep there. The only other good place to sleep is a workshop but Willow's hammering stuff so..."

"You came out here and made friends with a wolf," he finished for me. "Okay. Now back to your question. I'm here because I'm taking Willow to… well let's just say I'm taking her… somewhere… special."

"If you're trying to kidnap her she can just shoot you with arrows. You do know that right?"

"I would hope so; she's kind of the one who taught me. But she would never hurt me."

"I don't know about that. Like I told you before she is working on old exhibits. You can just go in to surprise her. Go in and to the right. Second door on the left."

"Thanks, man. And have fun with your wolf friend." He started walking to the door when I remembered something else.

"One more thing," I called. "Be careful. Willow probably still has a hammer."

Alex just smiled then turned around and left. I watched him until he went in the front door. I didn't know where he was taking Willow. But I've seen what he's done for her before, so I knew it was going to be big.

 **Willow's POV**

"Dumb thing," I said to myself. Getting the horse bodies together was the easy part. But the extra weight made it top-heavy and no matter what I did, it would always fall over. Then I remembered that the horses were hollow. I could just fill the bottom one with sand. I started using a hammer and nail to make a hole in the horse's back.

"Hey, Bull-" Without thinking I swung the hammer out behind me as I turned around. He jumped backward and avoided the hammer, but tripped over one of the boxes that was on the ground. "Bullseye, are you trying to kill me?" Alex asked from the ground.

"How many times have I told you? Never, sneak up, on a girl, with a hammer!" I yelled, walking closer to him and moving the hammer like I was actually hitting something.

"You've never told me that."

"Get up." I held the hand with the hammer in it out to help him up.

"You're crazy, you know that?"

"I know and I also know you like it." I said as we kissed each other. "Why are you here?" I asked him, pulling back.

"That's a surprise. Now let's get on a bus and take it to who knows where." He said happily, taking my hammer and putting on the table. He wrapped his arm around my shoulder, and we started walking to the door of the workshop. He grabbed the backpack that he had probably set down when he came in.

When we were almost to the front door I realized something. "Don't you know where we're going?" I asked. Alex stopped right in front of the door.

"Okay, let's get on a bus and take it to I know where but you don't know where." He said playfully. "Now get on the bus." He gently pushed me out the door. I could see the bus in the distance and we still had a little way to walk as he put his arm back around my shoulder.

"Are you trying to kidnap me?" I asked.

"Maaay-be," He said playfully.

We walked the rest of the way to the bus in silence. I didn't know what Alex's surprise was but I did know what he had done for me before. I knew it would be big. We got on the bus and as it started pulling away I watched the shack fade off into the distance. Once I couldn't see it anymore I looked at Alex and he kissed me on the forehead. I laid my head down on his shoulder and started falling asleep.

 **GFF**

"Will… Will wake up." Alex said as I opened my eyes. I looked at my wrist watch. It had been about an hour since we had left the shack, but it was still dark out. "We're almost there."

"Almost where?" I asked.

"La Grande." He answered. I still didn't know where he was taking me exactly, but I knew La Grande was basically Oregon's San Francisco. A few seconds later I saw a sign lit up by the buses headlights. It literally said ' _Now entering Oregon's San Francisco.'_ I gave Alex a weird look.

"Now can you tell me what the surprise is?" I asked.

"Not yet." He said and made the weirdest evil face ever. We got off the bus and started walking down the sidewalk. A couple seconds later a tall man bumped into me. I told you Oregon's San Fran. After a few minutes we got to a rundown hotel called La Plaza. The name was fancy but the hotel itself definitely wasn't.

"Here it is." Alex said. I looked at him, then back at the hotel, then back at Alex.

"This is my surprise?" I said, astonished.

"Oh yah I forgot to tell you your surprise is in the morning." I just stared at him.

"You're lucky your cute." I said as we walked into the hotel and got checked in. I called Grunkle Stan and told him where I was. He didn't really care, as long as I was safe. I laid down in my bed, trying to figure out what Alex's surprise would be.

 **Mabel's POV (July 9th)**

The first thing I saw when I woke up was that the attic was a mess. Everything was everywhere. I looked at the ceiling and I saw Candy taped to it.

"What happened last night?" I asked, not remembering anything.

"What's up, party gurl?" She said. Just then Grenda walked out of the closet, lipstick all over her face.

"What were you kissing in there?" I asked her.

"I don't know but I have no regrets," she said, wiping off the lipstick. Candy started wiggling and fell off the ceiling. I started fixing my hair.

"That was awesome, girls. See you tonight." I told them. They grabbed their stuff and left. Dipper walked in with a black eye and twigs in his hair.

"Hey, Dipper! Want any of this leftover pizza? It's got glitter on it!" I asked him as he sat down on his bed. He looked hungry and tired.

"Mabel, last night an owl tried to eat my tongue. This," He gestured at the messed up room. "Is impossible to live with!"

"No, it's not. Willow lives with it and she never complains."

"Oh, believe me. She complains. But she can work in her workshop and avoid it." Ever since the time travel incident, she had spent most nights working on some of her projects, then passing out at the table half-way through the night. Then I realized I hadn't seen her yet today.

"Where is she anyway?"

"Somewhere with Alex, but that's not the point. You've totally wrecked our room." He started looking around he stopped when he saw the mini golf course that Grenda wrecked. "Our mini-golf course!"

"Grenda sure loves to break things!"

"Mabel, if we have to sleep in this room together we should lay down some ground rules. First of all, no sleepovers." He knew that would upset me and it worked. But I was ready to fight back for once.

"Well if I can't have sleepovers, then you can't keep me up every night with your summer reading."

"How does READING keep you up?" Dipper asked me.

"You always read mysteries and talk out loud and click that stupid pen over and over again." I told him. I knew he would insult me back.

"Well at least my braces don't whistle when I breathe," he said, but I was ready.

"At least I wash my clothes once in a while," I said, pointing to piles of his dirty laundry all over the floor.

"Washing clothes is a waste of time; I'm a busy guy!" At this point I just wanted to make him mad.

"Meow, meow, meow, meow!" I said. It worked; he looked really mad.

"Alright if you meow one more time-"

"Meow meow meow!" I said, pissing him off even more. I was curious about what he would do.

"Okay, that's it! This is the final straw! Maybe we shouldn't share a room anymore!" That hurt a little, but I wasn't gonna let him win.

"Maybe we shouldn't." I yelled.

"Fine by me!"

"Double fine by me!"

"Then we need to talk to Stan about switching rooms." He said. We both walked downstairs to the living room where Grunkle Stan was watching TV, yelling 'Fight, fight, fight!' repeatedly.

"Stan, we need different rooms." Dipper told him.

"And I need a pair of magic money pants. It's not gonna happen!" He replied.

"Can't we work something out?" I asked.

"Look there's my room and the attic. What do you think, there's some kinda secret hidden room in the Shack?" He asked. Dipper and I both fell to the floor when there was a crash from down the hall.

"Dudes! I found some kinda secret hidden room in the shack!" Soos yelled. The three of us ran to where Soos was. He was standing next to a room that didn't look like it had been opened in 30 years.

"Okay, so I was cleaning up behind this bookcase when boom! Mystery door! This Shack is full of weird secrets!" Soos told us, opening the door. It was about the size of the attic, with a sloped celling and a bathroom off to one side. There were a bunch of tables, shelves and filing cabinets with random things on them. There was a bluish-green rug with yellow circles on the ground. Under a window was a long couch. The entire room looked old, but had a vibe to it that said there was something important about it.

"Experiment 78? Stan, what is this place?" Dipper asked from where he had been studying the rug tag.

"I don't know. Just another room I gotta clean up now," Grunkle Stan told him. He grabbed something off a dresser and I noticed a 1982 calendar with the 4th of July circled. I took my shoes off and walked on the carpet. It was really soft so I laid down and started making snow angels in it.

"This carpet is amazing!" I said happily.

"Yeah, if you're into things that are terrible," Grunkle Stan continued. I looked at Dipper as he grabbed the key on the wall.

"Problem solved, I'll move in here!" He said. I wouldn't let him win that easily.

"What? Why do you automatically get the room? We both saw it at the same time." I said angrily.

"Wait a second." Grunkle Stan took the key away from Dipper. "So you both want this room. I guess… I'll give it too whichever one of you I like more. Winner gets this room. The loser stays in the attic." He reached down and untied his shoe. "Uh oh. Looks like my shoe's untied."

Dipper and I looked at each other for a second and then we started attacking each other trying to tie his shoe. He started running to the kitchen. We started chasing after him but Soos was blocking the door.

"I don't know dudes. This room gives me major creep-o vibes. Y'know, the attic is a pretty good space. Maybe you two should appreciate what you got." Soos said. Dipper and I looked at each other and ran past Soos. I didn't know what Grunkle Stan was gonna have us do but I knew I had to win that room. No matter what.

 **Willow's POV**

I woke up really confused the next morning. I couldn't remember where I was at but the place was a mess. And then I remembered everything. I was really looking forward to what Alex's surprise was gonna be. I decided to take a shower. The bathroom was as nasty as the rest of the place but what have I got to lose. When I got out and had gotten dressed, I started brushing my hair. I heard a knock on the door and Alex was standing there in a Navy Blue T and black shorts.

"You ready?" He asked.

"One minute." I said, even though I didn't know what we were doing.

I had just gotten done brushing my hair when Alex asked, "Can I do your make-up?"

"I don't wear make-up."

"You do today, Bullseye, now sit down." He pushed me to a chair right in front of the mirror. And turned me around. About 20 minutes later he turned me back around to face the mirror. He had braided my hair into two sets of braids, one on each side. Each was tied with faded red ribbon. He had used a hair extension to make it look like I had bangs. My entire face, neck and both ears were painted white with red spots on my cheeks. I had black lipstick and black face paint around my eyes. Instead of my regular brown eyes he had given me greenish- blue contacts. He had painted the tip of my nose black with two black lines on the side that looked like stiches. He used a brighter white around my mouth to make it look like I had strong cheekbones.

"Why do I look like Annabelle?" I asked him.

"Just trust me. Now give me ten minutes," He said, walking across the hall to his room, me following him.

"I trust you, but I'm not going out like this unless I have the dress and the shoes." I told him. I didn't mind looking like Annabelle but I felt weird going out with Annabelle make-up on but wearing a t-shirt and shorts.

"I knew you'd say that." He walked into the bathroom and pulled out Annabelle's dress and black shoes. I kinda glared at him, but I went into the bathroom to change anyway. The dress and shoes fit me perfectly, and I looked like a taller version of Annabelle. I realized he had forgotten to paint my hands white so I painted them white myself.

After I let the paint dry I walked out to see if Alex was ready. When I opened the door he was holding a fake knife with blood on it like he was about to stab me. He was wearing a forest green button up with black pants and boots. He had a black sweater underneath with yellow gloves. He had a mask with a bunch of holes and blood spots.

"Why are you Jason Voorhee?" I asked him.

"You'll find out soon enough. Now are you ready?" He asked.

"As ready as I'll ever be." I said. That was true. Alex grabbed his backpack and we left. We went down two floors in the elevator.

When we got to the lobby there was an older woman waiting to get on the elevator. When the door opened and she looked at us she said, "I'll think I'll take the stairs."

We walked out the door and kept going the way we were going last night. People were giving us weird looks, which most of the time I got. But when we saw a naked guy on the side of a building that looked at us funny I yelled, "At least I have clothes on."

"Relax. We're almost there. We're only like 5 minutes away." I nodded. When you actually think about it, it probably did look funny. Jason Voorhee and Annabelle walking together on the street. I couldn't help but smile. About two minutes later I realized there were actually a lot of people dressed like horror characters. I saw Michael Myers _,_ at least 3 kids dressed like Chuckey _,_ Freddy Krueger _,_ 4 or 5 Goastfaces, Leatherface _,_ Regan MacNell _,_ Pinhead _,_ Joker, The Grim Reaperand Candyman _._

But the best costume by far was the family costume based on _Cujo._ The mom and dad looked like Donna and Vic and the son looked like Tad. They had a big St. Bernard with blood all over it. I don't know why the parents would let a four-year-old watch that movie, but that was none of my business.

"Why is everyone dressed like they just escaped from a horror movie?" I asked.

"Because of this." Alex said as he grabbed my shoulders and turned me to a different street on the right. I looked down the street.

"A pizza place. You took me all this way for a pizza place." At the very end of the street was a pizza place called Mario's. Alex started looking at the fronts of the other buildings.

"Wrong street." He announced. I rolled my eyes. We walked for another minute before we got to another street. This time he stopped me a few feet in front of the turn and looked around the corner, then nodded to himself.

"Because of this." He turned me again. There was a huge building at the end of the street. It looked like the house from the movie _House._ Across the top was a sign in red letters that said, "National Horror Festival." I literally screamed and started jumping, looking between Alex and the building.

"But I didn't bring my books!" I complained. He smirked and opened his backpack.

"No, but I did." Inside was probably every book from my 3 favorite writers that I collect from; Diane Hoh, Richie Tankersley Cusick, and Barbara Steiner. I started screaming and jumping again before I grabbed the backpack from him and ran to the building.

 **Dipper's POV**

When we got to the kitchen, Mabel and I started to elbow each other. We looked over at Stan. He held up the key and said, "Okay, here's how it's gonna go down. Whoever sucks-up the hardest gets the key to the new room." I didn't really like the idea of doing that.

"Grunkle Stan, we're not gonna suck- up to you just to get the new room." I said not realizing the mistake.

"Yeah we are!" Mabel said.

"Ten suck- up points for Mabel!" Stan said. I started to get nervous.

"I mean-uh-yeah we are." I said trying to get points.

"Trying too hard. Minus 15 suck- up points." Stan said.

"Come on!" I yelled.

"Good decision Grunkle Stan!" Mabel said.

"Trying way too hard." I smiled expecting her to lose points. "Plus 50 suck-up points."

I wanted to punch him and Mabel in the face. Stan grabbed a bucket with roof tiles in it. "Now, who wants to re-tile the roof in searing 105-degree heat?"

"I do!" Mabel said, but I ran ahead of her and grabbed the bucket, and went outside. When I got on the roof Mabel and I started fighting for the tiles.

"I want it."

"I do too!" I said. We started working in silence. When we got done I had done more of the roof. Stan had been watching us the whole time.

When we climbed down he said, "Dipper gets 30 suck-up points. Mabel get 20." The new score was 15 me, 80 Mabel. I was catching up but not fast enough. "Take ten." I knew I'd have to do extra to catch up. When we got inside Mabel went upstairs. When I knew she was gone I went into the kitchen and started to make Grunkle Stan his favorite type of sandwich. Bologna, turkey, cheese, ham, lettuce, tomato, salami, and mayo. When I got done I decided to get him his favorite drink too. Apple juice, orange juice, and lemonade mixed together. I had tried it once but it tasted nasty. When I got done I took everything outside to Stan. He ate it all in two minutes. When he was getting done Mabel came outside.

"Mabel, Dipper's catching up. He just got 50 suck up points." I smiled as Mabel glared at me. I was only 15 points behind now. "Mow the lawn!" Stan said. We grabbed the lawn mowers from the shed. About 20 minutes later we were almost done so I stopped for a second to take a break.

"Your phoning it in Dipper!" I heard Stan say. I started mowing again Mabel got 35 points and I got 15. The score was 80 me, 115 Mabel.

 **GFF**

I opened the door to the room when Grunkle Stan said we could stop working for the day. We had to clean his room, all the exhibits and both bathrooms. We also had to do the laundry and sweep/mop the gift shop and museum. The new score was 220 me, 225 Mabel. I would have done something else but I was too tired. I took off my shoes, and started rubbing my feet on the carpet. Mabel opened the door.

"Don't get too comfortable. I just made Stan an omelet shaped like his own face. I got 50 points." She said. I was worried again, so I stood up and we started circling each other. "I'm like a suck up ninja. This room is mine. You might as well give up now. What do you say?" She held out her hand for me to shake.

"I say I'm gonna win this room somehow, and when I do I'll finally have my own space… and we'll never have to share anything again!" I slapped her hand out of the way, causing a huge shock between us. Then it felt like I was on a roller coaster. When the feeling stopped, I noticed I was in the same room but a different position.

I had fallen down and was lying on the floor. For some reason I was really hot and my teeth hurt really bad. "What happened?" I asked when I could actually talk.

"Why are you wearing my clothes… and my… face?" Mabel asked. I looked up and saw me looking at me. I looked down and saw Mabel's clothes and hair. "Am I in your body?"

"Am I in your body?" We both started screaming and I ran to the mirror in the bathroom. When I saw Mabel looking back at me, I screamed and ran into a corner, repeating "This isn't happening, this isn't happening" over and over to myself. After a few more minutes of freaking out and screaming, we both calmed down and looked in the mirror.

"Just what we need right now, more Gravity Falls weirdness." I muttered. Yes, we were 'used' to it, but this was in the top three so far.

"This is stupid! Sharing a room was bad enough, but now we're sharing bodies!" Mabel added, running my hand through my hair. I leaned into the mirror, looking at Mabel's teeth

"Braces are horrible! It's like my mouth hates me." Growing up, Mabel had a tendency to hit her head, so she was the only one of us who ended up needing braces. Imagine the feeling of molars coming in, put it to all of your teeth at once, jam in a metal mouth-guard and that's pretty much what braces feel like.

"I don't know why you're so sweaty and awkward," Mabel continued, shaking a bit and making a weird face at the mirror. I started pacing and noticed the tag on the carpet.

"Experiment 78? Electron Carpet." I read from the tag, taking my notebook and a pen from my vest. I started talking to myself and clicking the pen. "Atoms can swap electrons. This carpet must build up a static charge so powerful it can swap minds! It was the static electricity! Maybe we can use it to switch back."

"Glad we're switching back. If I was you I would totally lose the contest." Mabel said. I was glad she said that because it gave me an idea.

"And if I was you, which I am, I could sabotage myself! Then Mabel would lose all her points and the room would go to Dipper!" I said.

"What?"

"Oh Stan! I've always hated you!" I called, running to the kitchen.

"No wait!" Mabel yelled right before she fell. "Tie your shoes!"

"Grunkle Stan!" I yelled when I got to the kitchen.

"What's the word, Mabel?" He asked.

"That's right. It's me Mabel!" I said as I tucked my hair behind my ear. "If ya like that omelet you'll love this! A sandwich made out of rocks." Mabel had rocks in her pocket for some reason so I grabbed 2 pieces of bread and threw together a sandwich.

"Candy rocks?" He asked. I shook my head.

"Regular rocks."

"Minus 40 suck-up points. Keep that up and Dipper will get the room."

"Darn!" I said still pretending to be Mabel.

"Hey Grunkle Stan! Your face looks like a butt!" I heard Mabel say from behind me.

"Minus 40 suck-up points!" Stan told her. The score was 180 me, 185 Mabel. I needed to step up my game.

"Mabel's gone bananas!" I said as I started pouring cereal everywhere.

"Minus 20 suck-up points." Yes! I was ahead, or behind, or- I was gonna get the room. I looked over to Mabel and she started kicking the oven and knocking bottles around.

"Minus 30 suck-up points. This is getting weird!" Stan said as he walked away. That brought the score 165 for Mabel and 150 for me. Mabel started to chase after him but I tackled her. We wrestled on the floor for a few seconds but I got up.

"Grunkle Stan, come back! I have more terrible things to do!" I yelled and ran off but I crashed into Grenda and Candy.

"There you are, Mabel!" Grenda said excitedly.

"Attack her with love!" Candy said as they hugged me.

"Sleepover!" They both yelled at once, and pulled me upstairs. When we got to the attic Grenda locked the door. A few seconds later someone knocked.

"Can I talk to my sister for a second?" Mabel asked.

"This is a sleepover! No boys aloud!" Candy replied.

"Look guys, I'm not really in a sleepover mood right now. One of my, irrational girl mood swings, you know. Right? Don't we have those?" I asked, trying to get out of the sleepover.

"Oh come on, my mom's age inappropriate romance novels aren't gonna read themselves," Grenda said, holding one up. "Wolfman Bare Chest."

"Uh, really. I should probably, uh-" I started, but Grenda grabbed me and pulled me on the bed, reading from the novel.

"My name is Gerard. I am a werewolf, creature of the night. But I am also a creature of passion." I wanted to scream and get back in my own body.

 **Mabel's POV**

I was watching the sleepover through the keyhole in the door. "Gerard is just so fierce." I said to myself.

"What's going on Dipper?" I heard Stan say from behind me. I tried to cover the hole I had been looking through to hide it. A weird look came on his face.

"You're at that creepy age where you spy on girls, huh? Guess it's time you and me had a man to man talk. About the birds and the bees, you know?" Stan grabbed me and dragged me to the kitchen, putting a book called "Why Am I Sweaty?" on the table.

"I should really be going-" I started, but Stan cut me off.

"No way out of it." He started to read from the book. "Look. It all begins with this little fella. The pituitary gland. He may be little but he has BIG PLANS." I screamed at the top of my lungs.

 **Willow's POV**

There were so many people there, all dressed up as horror characters. The building was two stories and an attic. On the first and second floors were conventions and Q&A sessions. The attic was book and autograph signing. "You happy Bullseye?" I heard Alex say from behind me. I nodded.

"Let's go to the attic first," I told him, walking towards the stairs. I wanted to get my books signed first that way I could put them in a locker so they wouldn't be in the way. I wanted to meet Diane Hoh first. She wrote the first horror book I ever read, _Nightmare Hall: The Silent Scream._ Her books are the reason I started reading horror books. I'm creepy because of her. When we got upstairs I went to the door that was marked Diane Hoh. There wasn't that long of a line because her books were old style. A lot of people liked the newer books but I think the old ones are better.

"Hi, I'm Willow. I love your books," I said when we got to the table, and put the books down. "You're the reason I started reading horror books. I can easily relate to all the characters in your books. They're really good. My favorite 3 are _Deadly Attraction, Last Breath,_ and _The Coffin._ " I said. I was talking to much but I had dreamed of this day since I was a little girl.

"Well, I'm glad you found my books." She said, signing them.

"I want to write my own horror book but I get writer's block to easily. How do you get over it?"

"I have three ways. One; take a break and don't be too serious. Two; Sleep on it. Three; find someone to bounce ideas off of. It always helps to have someone to talk to. And remember, inspiration can come any time, so be ready."

"Thanks." I said as she finished signing my books and gave them back to me. We walked back out into the hall and I looked around and saw a door marked Richie Cusick. I had known she was good at tricking people with pranks and Alex says no one can prank him. I had an idea.

"Hey, Alex. Why don't you… go to the… bathroom." I told him.

"But I don't have to use the bathroom." He said.

"Uh… there's this new disease going around. Called piss-a-stomach. It tricks your body into thinking it doesn't have to pee when it really does. Then the pee… builds up inside your stomach until you explode." He looked at me funny for a minute then rolled his eyes and left. I started walking to the Richie Cusick door. When I went in no one else was there, which was a plus.

"Uh… Hi I'm Willow. I love your books." I said as I put them on her desk.

"Thanks." She said and started signing them.

"I hear your good at pranking people."

"This is true." She said, smiling at me.

"Could you help me come up with an idea to prank my boyfriend?"

"Of course. Tell me about you and him."

"I am staying with my Great Uncle in Gravity Falls Oregon. I live and go to school in Piedmont, CA. Alex used to live in Piedmont but his dad is in the military and he just got transferred to Seattle. We don't get to see each other very often, but he took me here for a surprise. We came on a bus and he says no one can prank him…"

"You came on a bus?" She asked and I nodded.

"I have an idea. Margo, get over here." She said, her assistant coming around the corner. "This is my assistant Margo. This is the plan…"

 **GFF**

We had finished talking about the plan and I had gone back out in the hall when Alex showed up.

"I just got my Richie Cusick books signed." I said. "I don't think Barbara Stiener is here."

"Cool, let's go to a Dean Koontz Q&A. It starts in a few minutes."

"What about a Stephen King Q&A? When is that?"

"Not till later." We walked down the stairs to the 2nd floor, then sat down and waited for it to start. I knew the writer was always trying to trick everyone by dressing as something scary. Sometimes they came out as something scary. Sometimes they change in the middle or the end. I couldn't wait to see what they would try to pull off. I leaned my head on Alex's shoulder when the introduction for him started.

"Ladies and gentleman. Please welcome the amazing Dean Koontz." They put a spot light on the curtain and when the announcer was done it opened to show a janitor with his cart. He started pushing it on the stage. "And that's a janitor."

"Or is it?" The janitor said, and started ripping off his clothes like in stupid cartoons. Underneath he had a dinosaur head, penguin body, and pig butt, with a cape on his back that said DK on it. Everyone started laughing.

"Aw man, I'm hungry. I should of ate before I came here." He said. I had an idea of what he was gonna do next. He turned around and looked at his pig butt. "I know! I'll make some bacon." He pulled a piece of bacon out of his butt. He put it on a fake grill they had on stage. Then he started to scream. "Awww! Everyone knows when you make bacon out of your own butt you'll die!" He fell down on the floor and pretended to be dead. He sat up.

"No one is buying this. Let's get on with the convention."

 **GFF**

I was having so much fun. Alex and I had just gotten out of a Bram Stoker convention. We had also been to Richard Matheson, Ray Bradbury, and Clive Barker conventions. We were sitting down at a Stephen King convention. They were almost done.

"I'm having so much fun Alex." I told him, kissing his cheek.

"Me too." King had just answered the last question and there hadn't been a prank yet.

"That's it for the convention today. Thank you very…" Just then a Phoenix came bursting through the wall. It started blasting fake fire breath down on everyone in the crowd. Everyone started screaming and running out except for Alex, me and a few others. Stephen was laughing and his face was really red. I started laughing again.

"Let's go see what else there is to do." Alex and I walked out into the lobby. We started looking at the schedule.

The timer on Alex's watch beeped. "It's already five. We don't have time to do anything else. We need to go back to the hotel and change before the next part of your surprise."

"There's more to my surprise! You're the best boyfriend ever." I said. I was so happy. I ran back to the hotel. I couldn't wait till the next part of my surprise.

 **Mabel's POV**

"And now you know where babies come from!" Stan finished, closing the "Why am I Sweaty?" book. And I thought the video in 5th grade was bad!

"Goodbye childhood…" I whispered, failing to put the past hour out of my head.

"You know, I find you more likeable today than usual. Maybe you could still win that game after all," Stan continued, getting my attention.

"Huh?"

"I was gonna give that room to Mabel-"

"No, you should!" I interrupted him. "Give it to Mabel, you… big jerk!"

"What did you say to me?" He growled, narrowing his eyes at me.

"I said, uh, shut up old man! You're fat and old and dumb and you're a dummy and, take that!" I yelled, tapping his shoulder with my fist. He glared at me for a few more seconds, then his face broke into a grin.

"Finally stan'n up to me, huh? I love it! You know what, I've made up my mind!" He took the key out of his jacket and held it up. "The room belongs to you! Dipper."

"You can't! You have to give it to Mabel!" I tried again. He shushed me and patted my back a few times.

"You had me at 'shut up old man.'"

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"

 **Dipper's POV**

"The end!" Grenda announced, closing the Wolfman book. I sighed, but then Grenda held up a bunch more romance books. "Now for the 38 sequels!"

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" Thank god, they decided to play their board game instead, but that was almost worse. It was all really girly stuff, and they kept screaming over and over. I was sitting on my bed, my chin resting on my hand. Grenda rolled a five and the phone in the middle of the board rang.

"It's him! My dream date!" She took the phone off the receiver and a robot voice answered. _Hello baby, this is Kevin. My beach house has room for two._ That was it. I jumped off the bed and ran out of the room and into the hallway.

"Grunkle Stan! It's Mabel! I'm doing things you hate!" I yelled, flipping over a table with a lamp on it. The lamp rolled down the hall and landed at Mabel's feet.

"It's over Dipper. Stan gave you the room," she told me, holding out the room key.

"YES!" I yelled, reaching out to take the key. "Let's switch back and I can start moving in."

"Wait a minute…" Mabel whispered, getting an excited gleam in my eye. "You can't have the room if you can never get in!" She took off downstairs, key in hand.

"Hey! Come back!" I yelled, chasing after her. She ran into the room and shut the door. I started banging on it, yelling at her. "Open the door Dipper!... I mean Mabel," I corrected myself, face-palming and sliding my back down the wall. I started trying to figure out how to get in there, then I remembered the girl's upstairs. I walked back to the attic and saw that they were still playing their game.

"Kevin, for the last time, I am not interested!" Candy yelled, slamming the phone down on the receiver.

"How could you say that to Kevin?" Grenda demanded. I cleared my throat and got their attention.

"Hey girls… who wants to give my brother a makeover?" I asked them. They smiled and started throwing makeup into a bag. _Yes!_ I thought. _The room is mine!_

 **Willow's POV**

I had just gotten changed into my normal clothes when Alex showed up in his Navy jacket. "You ready Bullseye?"

"Ready enough." I said not knowing where we were going again.

"No you're not." He said and held up a blindfold.

"Seriously?"

"Do you want your surprise or not?"

"Whatever." Stan told me not go anywhere blindfolded, but I trusted Alex enough. I let him put the blindfold on me. He started guiding me to wherever the hell we were going.

A few minutes later Alex said "Almost there. Now step up… go left… turn to your right… and stop. Take off the blindfold." It took a minute for my eyes to adjust to the light, but when they did I saw the famous La Grande archery range. It had so many targets up to 250 people could shoot at once.

"I don't have my handmade bow." I told him. He might have it to. He had gotten a different backpack when we left the hotel. When I said that he reached into his backpack.

"You didn't think I would leave without it did you?"

"This is the best surprise ever." We started shooting, three arrows at a time and seeing who got the most points.

I beat him 4 times in a row. "Your losing your skills Alex." I said. He used to be able to hit a bullseye, or the 9th ring every time he shot.

"I haven't had that much time to practice since my dad got transferred." I knew the move had changed him but I didn't know it changed him that much. I couldn't help but sigh. "What's wrong?" He asked.

"It's just you've been so much different since you moved. I miss seeing you but when I do get to your way different." I told him. He put his arrow down and came over to me.

"I know I've changed since the move."

"I miss you." I could feel tears running down my face. I couldn't help it. "I just want things to go back to the way they were before." I was getting a lot of déjà vu lately. Especially when I thought about Alex.

"I miss you too, I know change can be scary but it can also be fun. It showed me that even though we're apart we still can make it work. That doesn't happen very often, especially at our age." I knew he was right and I should just be happy we were even still together. I just had to think about the prank and I'd be able to last the night.

"You're right. I love you. Now let's have fun." Even though I couldn't wait for the prank I didn't want this night to end.

 **Mabel's POV**

I was lying on my stomach trying to make a sign for the door. I wrote NO BOYS ALLOWED, then remembered that I was in Dipper's body. I changed it to NO GIRLS ALLOWED, then realized that would mean my friends would get turned away. I sighed and scratched it out again, debating which would be better when someone knocked on the door.

"It's Candy and Grenda!" They called excitedly. I smiled and opened the door.

"Hey girls, wha…" I trailed off when I saw Dipper walk up behind them, smiling evilly. "Wa-Wait! Don't let-"

"MAKEOVERS!" The girls yelled, coming into the room. I backed up and slipped on my paper, falling on my back. They surrounded me and started putting make-up all over my face. When they were done, they grabbed my arms and showed Dipper my face.

"Good job girls," Dipper said, dragging his feet on the carpet and walking over to me. "Now just let me add one… final… touch!" He reached out and touched my nose, switching us back. When I opened my own eyes, Dipper was wiping the make-up off his face and the girls were looking around confused.

"Alright Mabel. The room is mine!" Dipper announced, holding out the key.

"Hold up. What just happened here?" Grenda asked us. I sighed and told the girls as much as I could.

"Honestly, I barley understand it. All I know is that if you shuffle your feet on this carpet and touch somebody, you can switch bodies or whatever."

Candy stood up and shuffled her feet, then turned to Dipper. "Zip, zip," she announced, touching his nose, switching their bodies.

"Come on!" Dipper yelled, snatching the key from Candy.

"I am a boy now!" Candy exclaimed, then deepened her voice. "Wassup bro? Let's grow some mustaches."

"Dipper, give me that key!" I yelled, running over and trying to take the key from him. Grenda came over and tried to pull us apart, but ended up switching all three of us.

"Oh no!" Dipper's voice came from Grenda's body. Then he flexed her arms. "Then again I like having muscles for once."

"Wow! Now I have tiny little doll hands!" Grenda's voice announced from my body, opening and closing my hands. I sighed and started shuffling Candy's feet on the carpet, the others doing the same.

"Everybody swap back in 3, 2…"

"DUDES!" Soos' voice called from the hallway. We all looked to the door and Waddles, followed by McGucket, ran in. Soos' voice was coming from Waddles' body asking for help while McGucket chased him around, yelling about wanting to deep fry his ears.

Everyone started running around, switching bodies repeatedly, trying to find our own. After switching about ten times, I was back in my own body, the key in my hand. "Everyone, STOP!" I yelled. Everyone backed away from each other, looking at one another. I looked down and saw Waddles' body standing next to me.

"I guess I'm a pig now, so that's a thing," Dipper's voice said. He bent down and started chewing on an apple core that was on the floor. I looked at everyone else. Soos was in Grenda's body, and Grenda was in McGucket's. McGucket himself was in Candy's body, and Candy was still in Dipper's.

"What on earth is going on here?" Sherriff Blubs asked, him and Durland walking through the doorway. Candy and Grenda ran into them, taking over their bodies, putting them into Dipper's and McGucket's.

"Give me that key Mabel!" Dipper yelled, jumping on me. We backed into people, switching bodies a few more times, then sat on the floor, keeping well clear of the carpet and the body-swapping chaos.

"Mabel, are you, you?" Dipper's body and voice asked me.

"Yeah, I'm me," I told him, glad it was over, at least for us.

"Well I've got the key!" He announced, holding it up. He stood up and ran out of the room, me following behind him. We passed an off-balance Soos on our way to the attic. We ran into the attic and started wrestling for the key. I grabbed it, but Dipper pinned me down.

"Mabel, the room is mine! Give it to me!" He yelled, trying to take it from me.

"What's with you? Why do you need that room so bad? I never even wanted to move out!" I told him.

"Me neither!"

"Wait, what? Say that again?" I asked. He sighed and let go of me, sitting back.

"I- I never wanted to move out."

"Then what was all this?" I asked, sitting up.

"Everything was fine until you started hanging out with your friends every night. Hanging out with you and Willow has been fun. But she's been working and now that you're always with Candy and Grenda, I'm just, left behind," he admitted, pulling his legs up to his chest.

"Dip…" I told him, smiling sympathetically.

"It's okay. I've just been having a hard time; you wouldn't understand," He told me, connecting some of the dots.

"You're probably feeling awkward and sweaty, right?" I asked. He looked up.

"How'd you know?"

"Stan thought I was you, and I am officially scarred for life," I explained, then tossed him the key. "Room's yours. I won't fight you for it."

"Thanks Mabes. Let's go check on the others." We both stood up and walked back to the room. Someone had gotten them to calm down, so for the most part, everyone was acting normal.

"Good, everyone's back too normal… Except Soos, who might be a pig permanently…?" Soos' body was chewing on the doorframe of the room. He pulled away and smiled at us.

"I changed back. At least I think I did…" he trailed off and standing patting himself down. McGucket came up behind him, fork and knife in hand.

"I'll still eat ya…" Dipper and I started pushing him out the door, leading him out of the house. When we got to the gift shop, he stopped and looked around, rubbing the side of his head.

"You okay man?" Dipper asked him, snapping him out of his trance.

"Huh? Oh yea. I just… nothin'," he told us, walking out the door himself. Some woman came in right after he left.

"Have you seen a young Hispanic man around here?" She asked us.

"Oh, Soos. First door on the right," I told her. She nodded and went into the hallway as Dipper and I started heading back up to the attic. He started grabbing his things to take to his new room.

"Hey. Why does it matter who gets which room?" I asked him. If we had wanted to be apart, it didn't really matter who was where, right?

"I don't know about you," he started, turning around to face me. "But something about that place called to me. It felt important somehow, like how I felt when I first saw the journal."

"You felt that too?" I asked him. He nodded, then grabbed his bag and went downstairs. I sighed and got changed, going to bed early.

"Good ni…" I started, then remembered Dipper was downstairs and Willow was who-knows-where with Alex. I turned over and closed my eyes, but then sat up when someone knocked on the door. Instinctively, I grabbed a golf club and held it ready behind me, then opened the door. Dipper was there, everything he had taken in his arms.

"Hey. Wanna have a sleepover?" He asked, smiling. I smiled back, then grabbed a golf ball.

"FORE!" I yelled, swinging the club. He smiled and ran inside, grabbing his club. He wacked the ball and hit it through the window again.

"Why am I even out here at night?" Grunkle Stan yelled from outside. We both laughed, then looked to each other. Call it what you want, but in that look, we forgave each other for everything, and we were back in the same room.

"So what did you end up doing with that carpet?" I asked him, hitting a ball into the cup.

"I told Stan to get rid of it," he replied, taking my place.

"What are we gonna do with that room now?"

"I was thinking we give it to Soos to replace that break room Stan gave him. Do you know what that lady wanted him for?" I shrugged, not worried about it. It didn't affect me, and if I had learned one thing so far this summer, it was to not get involved with things that didn't affect me.

 **Willow's POV**

"That's weird." Alex said as we were about to get on the bus. "There are never two buses to Gravity Falls."

"Yeah weird. I'm honestly surprised there is ever one." I said, knowing that one was a fake. Alex walked onto the first one.

"We can't get on that bus." I said.

"Why?"

"Uhhh… the number is 13. Its unlucky." Alex gave me a funny look. "Let's get on the other bus."

"Whatever." He said. I figured he was just tired and wanted to get home. That wasn't gonna happen. I just hoped he wouldn't suspect anything. We walked on the other bus and sat down. I had made sure we got their late so Margo could keep everyone but us of the bus until we got there. It only took 5 minutes for the bus to leave. I started reading one of my novels for ten minutes. Then the bus made a turn into the woods.

"I don't think this is the way back." Alex called up to Margo.

"It's a shortcut," she replied. It was really just a back road so we wouldn't block traffic when… "Dang thing!"

"What happened?" Alex asked when the bus stopped completely.

"I ran out of gas. Meters been acting stupid lately. Let me call someone." Alex rolled his eyes. I knew she wasn't really calling anyone; she was changing into devil cloths. A minute later she hissed. That was my cue.

"Did you get anyone?" I asked, standing up. She got up and started coming to me, backing us up. Alex got up and followed Margo. He looked like he was buying it. We were almost to the back when she finally spoke.

"No, I didn't even try." She pushed me behind the back seat, then turned around and started forcing Alex to the front. I started changing then I grabbed the fake knife. I got up and saw that Alex was leaning against the back of a seat, and Margo was standing over him with another fake knife. I started walking slowly to them. When I was about 3 rows behind them Alex saw me.

We had known each other long enough that we could communicate without talking. Alex was very clearly asking for help, but who wouldn't be?

"I can't do that," I told him, lowering my voice to a creepy tone.

"What? Don't tell me you're on her side."

"I am."

"Why are you doing this?" He asked, looking between my face and the knife in my hand.

"I'm possessed."

"By who."

"Her." Alex glanced at Margo, fire in his eyes. I swear, if I hadn't been standing over him, he would have jumped at her and started attacking. I wanted to scare him a bit more. "Should I start with your leg…" I ran the knife along his leg. "Or the arm…" I ran the knife on his arm. "Or the neck."

"Leg please."

"You wish. I think I'll start with the neck. Should I start on the left, or the right, or right in the middle…"

"Uhh, none of the above." He said. I swung the knife at his neck, but he put his hands up to block it. He didn't realize that it was all fake. When the knife hit his hand nothing happened. Margo and I started laughing.

"What's going on?" He asked.

"I just pranked you." I said as Margo and I started taking off out devil cloths.

"When did you plan this? Who is she?" Alex pointed to Margo.

"Margo. Richie Cusick's assistant. I planned it when I told you to go to the bathroom. Everything was fake."

"So this all was a set up." He asked.

"Yeah. And you said you could never be pranked."

"Nice one." He said, kissing my cheek and shaking hands with Margo.

"Can you drive us home?" I asked Margo.

"Sure thing kids." She went back to the driver's seat as Alex and I sat back down, falling asleep together.

 **GFF**

"I had fun Alex." I told him, wrapping my arms around him. Margo had dropped us off back at the shack and now we were waiting for his mom to come pick him up.

"I did too. Even though you pranked me." A car pulled up and honked its horn.

"I got to go," he said, pulling away.

"I'm gonna miss you." I said, us kissing. His mom honked the horn again.

"I love you," he said, walking to the car.

"I love you too," I called after him. We waved to each other until the car went around the bend and out of sight. I couldn't get past the Déjà vu I had been feeling lately. I turned away and felt the tears streaming down my face as I walked back inside. There was no way I could last next year in school without Alex. I needed him in my life. I didn't know how I had lasted this long without him.


	15. Boyz Crazy

**Thanks for keeping with me over the past two months. I promise; updates will be back too normal from now on. And about last week, I'm EXTREMELY sorry to those of you who lost someone. It was one of the most tragic moments in American history, and NONE of the people who died will EVER be forgotten. Now, shout-outs.**

 **Mebradhen- Thanks for your review!**

 **Gamelover41592- Thanks man. I'm glad you liked the Willow thing; it was something different that I wanted to try, and I'm glad it worked.**

 **ChantingForest74- Great name BTW. They've known Alex for about a year and a half. When I write his and Willow's anniversary, you will get a bit more of background on him and when he first showed up. And I know 12-year olds saying 'I love you' is a bit weird, but this is Gravity Falls! If it wasn't weird, it wouldn't be normal. Thanks for your review!**

 **Miss Tri- Thanks so much girl. Willow isn't doing much again this time, but I did add a part with her and Wendy, so that should give you a bit of info. And like I said last time, now that I'm getting into the main part of the show, I will be able to do more with Willow and the story. I have put in subtle hints here and there, and they will start to be more noticeable now that we are getting into the main mystery (nice name BTW). I don't want to spoil anything, but I think you will like what I have planned.**

 **MyFavLineIs- Don't worry, I get it. Thanks for your questions; they're not much, but everything helps! Thanks for your review!**

 **Tammy- Thanks for your review! I know it's a bit weird, but Alex, being a military kid, is 'used' to weirdness. Not the weirdness the others are going through, but weirdness with going to a bunch of different places on short notice. Alex is… an interesting character. I have him figured out and know what I want to do, but I can't explain him without spoiling those plans. If I had to explain him and what I have planned in one sentence… He's the wild card in the deck.**

 **Disclaimer: The only thing in this chapter I own is Willow and the CD Robbie used on Wendy. Yes, by day I am a writer, but by night, I sell CD's so goth boys can brainwash their girlfriends. PM if you need one!**

* * *

 **Dipper's POV (July 10th)**

"Hey Wendy!" I called excitedly as the red-head walked into the gift shop. She didn't even look up, just tossed the mail on the counter and put her feet up. "What's up?"

"Nothing," she replied too quickly. I decided not to press her on it, and instead tried to get her talking again.

"Wanna play Talking Tours?" I asked her. We would watch the security feed and say what we thought the tourists, or Stan, was saying. It was kind of stupid, but we always wound up laughing like crazy. She nodded and turned the security feed on as I walked over to her. There was a tourist with a t-shirt, Stan standing behind him.

"Do you have this t-shirt in my size?" Wendy said, her voice really high-pitched.

"I have something even better!" I said, making my voice really deep and scratchy. Stan bent down towards some boxes, which was perfect. "Behold! My butt!"

It worked perfectly. Wendy started laughing her head off, me joining in. "I could play this game forever," I whispered to myself, smiling at her.

"What's that?" She asked.

"Huh? Nothing! I was coughing! Those weren't words!" I exclaimed, making a mental note to not whisper to myself anymore.

"This is fun, what you two have," Mabel said from behind me.

"Mabel? How long have you been standing there?"

"Don't worry about that. Let's talk about why I'm doing this dance!" She backed up and started dancing around, kicking her legs all over the place.

"Did you get into Smile Dip again?" Willow asked, walking into the room.

"How you doing?" I asked her. She had been asleep all morning, so I was glad to see her walking around.

"Okay. I'm just grabbing some food. I'm gonna try to make the crossbow automatically draw, so I'm gonna be busy," she told us, grabbing a bunch of candy off the shelves. I nodded and turned back to Mabel just in time to have a calendar hit my face.

"I'm dancing because Sev'ral Timez is playing at the Civic Center and Buffet tonight!"

"Aren't they that boy band that came a decade too late?" Wendy asked. They were good singers, I had to give them that, but the problem was their songs. 20 years ago, it would have been fine, but they had just started a few years ago, and their music was very outdated. I glanced at the calendar and saw that today's date had been circled repeatedly.

"Mabel, you know all those boy bands are fake right?" Willow said, walking back over to the counter, a bunch of snacks in her arms.

"She's right. Their just a manufactured product of the bloated corporate music industry." Mabel stopped dancing and all three of them gave me weird looks.

"What he means is they do anything their manager tells them to do. For all we know, they're just robots someone programed to sing and dance," Wendy stated. I saw Willow smile a bit, so I said the first thing that came into my head.

"How much you wanna bet that there's a machine that mass-produces them." Willow grinned and slightly started acting like her normal self, giving the best theory out of all of them.

"No bet. The boys are grown from pods and get replaced whenever the manager feels they didn't perform well enough." The three of us started cracking up, and I was glad Willow was able to act like her normal self after yesterday.

"Laugh all you want. You guys can't ruin this for me. Mabel's got back up!" The gift shop door opened, Candy and Grenda walking in, both of them wearing Sev'ral Timez t-shirts. "Hey girls! Who's ready for the greatest night of our lives? How many times am I gonna love ya?"

"SEV'RAL TIMEZ!" Mabel and Grenda ran through the employees only door, Candy running into the vending machine before following them.

"Those girls are crazy. Well, I'm gonna go amp up my personal killing machine. See ya, suckers!" Willow grabbed her food and left the room.

"Please tell me they calm down at your age," I asked Wendy, who shook her head.

"'Calm down' is not in Mabel's vocabulary, and unless you wanna be used for target practice, don't piss Willow off." She turned back to the security feed and kicked her feet up on the table again. Her face darkened when Robbie walked through the door.

"Hey, is this the fingerless glove store? I like things that are dumb. I'm Robbie," I tried. Wendy smiled a bit, then glared at Robbie when he walked up to us.

"Laugh it up kid. So Wendy, Nate and his girlfriend are going to Lookout Point tomorrow night. Maybe we should go too?" Wendy reached over the counter and punched his chest angrily.

"Are you kidding me? First you stand me up last night and instead of apologizing you want me to go to Lookout Point?!"

"I'll just be… over here…" I announced, backing out of the room and leaving them mostly alone. I poked my head around the door to continue watching them.

"Look Robbie, I'm not sure this relationship is working out. Maybe we should see other people." They were breaking up? AWESOME! I turned around and grabbed Waddles, celebrating the news.

"Wendy, before you do anything crazy, I want you to hear this," Robbie stated. I put Waddles down and looked back through the door. Robbie pulled a weird case out of his hoodie and took out a CD, then put it in the player that was on the counter. "I wrote this song for you…" he told her, then started singing.

" _When I think about you, I feel feelings so deep. I'm tossing and turning, and you know I'm losing sleep. And I know I'm going crazy when I look into your eyes. Just listen to this song and you'll be hypnotai-ai-ai-zed…"_ I could not believe he thought _that_ would make Wendy-

"Y'know, maybe I was being a little hasty. I'll give you another chance." Wait, WHAT!? I looked through the door and saw Wendy kiss Robbie's cheek. "Let me grab my jacket." I hid behind the door as Wendy walked through, then walked up to Robbie.

"Alright Robbie, I saw that CD. What the hell are you up to?" I asked him. He smirked at me.

"It's called romance kid. Something you'd never understand," he told me as Wendy walked back in, grabbing his arm and leading him out of the gift shop. I glanced around then took the CD out of the player and started examining it. It looked normal, smelled like Robbie's body spray, and tasted-

"What are you doing?" I turned around and saw Mabel and her friends staring at me weird.

"Girls, I know this sounds crazy, but I think Robbie might be hypnotizing Wendy with his music." Mabel smiled and patted my shoulder.

"Oh Dipper, girls just like musicians. You'll understand when your older."

"We're the same age!" I reminded her.

"Girls mature faster than guys. Right Grenda?" We all looked at the girl in question, who was kissing a headshot of one of the band members.

"THIS IS GRENDA TIME!" She yelled defensively, then resumed kissing the photo. They all left me alone with the CD, theories flying through my head a mile a minute. I started walking around the building, staring at the CD, and eventually wound up in the kitchen, where Stan was putting cans of meat on one of the shelves.

"What's with the pacing kid? You look more freaked out than usual," he stated, stepping down from the step ladder he had bought last month. I stopped pacing and looked up him, debating whether or not to tell him another one of my theories.

"I-I dunno. I'm not sure you would understand," I tried, still not sure how much he should know.

"C'mon kid. Try me," he said, sitting in one of the chairs. I shrugged and sat across from him. Worst case scenario was he call me crazy or paranoid and deny that the town was weird.

"I know this is gonna sound weird, but I think Robbie might be brainwashing Wendy with music," I told him, giving him the CD.

"I've seen this before," he told me, examining the CD.

"Really?"

"Her name was Carla McCorkle. Carla 'Hot-Pants' McCorkle," he started, staring at the ceiling as he told me the story. "Me and Carla baby would cut a rug together at the Juke Joint, our favorite 50's themed 1970's diner. Then one day, this new tree hugger shows up and starts playing this transcendental hippie music. Carla's hot-pants turned into bell bottoms before I even knew what happened." He looked back at me and gave the CD back. "My memories get a bit hallucination-y

at the end, but you get the gist."

"So… you actually believe my theory?" I clarified, taking the CD. This was the first time he didn't call me paranoid.

"Damn right I do. And we're going to get to the bottom of it: right after I get to the bottom of this brown meat." He dumped the rest of the meat into his mouth, swallowing all of it at once. "It's apocolicious!" I just stared at him. If he wanted to believe the Mayans and think the world was going to end this year, that was his problem.

 **Mabel's POV**

"Okay girls," I said when we got to the Civic Center. "Have you all practiced your obsessed boy band scream?" The two of them screamed, then McGucket ran up behind us, also screaming. "Just gonna ignore that," I said, me and my girls running up to the ticket booth.

"Sorry girls, you're too late. Show's sold out," the ticket seller said, putting a 'sold out' sign on the window. We all started looking around, 'sold out' signs on all of the posters that were hanging up. We moved over to a bench, Grenda and I sitting down on it.

"This night is ruined," Grenda mumbled. Candy face-planted onto the ground.

"I welcome you, death," she said to the concrete. I looked at them, then at one of the side doors.

"NO!" I yelled, standing up angrily. "I said we were gonna meet Sev'ral Timez tonight and I meant it! And I'm not gonna let a keep out sign keep us out!"

As soon as the concert was over, I was able to use Grenda's hair clip to pick the lock of the back door and get us in. "Hello! Sev'ral Timez?" Grenda called as we walked around the building.

"We want to give you several kisses!" Candy added excitedly. I looked around and saw the band's dressing room, the three of us running up to the door.

"This is it girls. We're finally gonna meet the five cutest boys in the world! They are going to eat their words that boy bands are 'fake.'" I opened the door and walked in, then froze.

In the center of the room was a giant hamster cage, the boys hanging out inside; crawling through tunnels, drinking from the little bottles, running on a hamster wheel. But that was not the strangest thing in the room.

Going around the walls were giant glass tubes, bodies floating in each one of them. There were babies, one's that were my age, and one's that looked just like the boys in each. "Yo, we're clones dawg!" Chubby Z. told the other boys, none of the having noticed us yet.

"O," Grenda stated, staring at the boys.

"M," Candy breathed, looking at the machinery.

"G," I finished. "That is one big hamster tube," I added, staring at the cage. I couldn't believe they-

"Someone's coming!" Candy whispered, pulling me and Grenda behind a clothing rack. We pulled the clothes apart slightly and watched as a bigger, bald man with a gold tooth started yelling at the boys.

"Terrible show! What is wrong with you boys? You barely even sold out the arena! And Deep Chris, you call that a pout?" Deep Chris made the cutest pout ever, but the guy, I'm assuming their manager, wasn't impressed.

"Every one of you should be ashamed of yourselves! Except you Leggy P, you were really on point tonight. Here ya go, gorgeous." The man threw a giant hamster treat into the cage, Leggy P. bending down and eating it. "As for the rest of you, remember, you can always be replaced with your brothers. Dance for me child! DANCE!" One of the older clones started dancing, the man laughing evilly before coughing. "My throat is killing me! Can someone get me a lemon water?" he called into the hallway, slamming the door and knocking me and the girls out of the

rack and onto the floor in front of the cage.

"Who goes there? Prepare to be danced at!" Deep Chris started dancing towards us, but Creggy

G. stepped in front of him.

"Step off Deep Chris. They're ladies. Don't disrespect 'em bro. Don't disrespect."

"My bad," Deep Chris told us, smiling shyly. "Boys, let's calm these boo-bops by posin' for 'em poster style!" They all posed in the same positions as they did in their promo posters. I squealed slightly, looking at all of the boys.

"Trying hard not to let my brain explode. I've always wanted to meet you guys! But what was the deal with that scary chub-chub man?"

"Mr. Bratsman's our producer, yo," Deep Chris told us.

"He genetically engineered us to be the perfect boy band G," Leggy P. added.

'But he keeps us in cages! That junk is straight brutal girl!" Chubby Z. yelled.

"Our one dream is to escape into the real world. For real," Creggy G. explained, then turned to the other boys. "I heard 'bout these things called trees. I dunno what they are, but I wanna kiss one!"

"But we can't disobey Mr. Bratsman. He says he loves us," Greggy C. reminded them.

"If he loved you, he'd set you free," I told them, pulling a bobby pin out of my hair. I started picking the lock while they debated coming with us.

"We're in!" Deep Chris said when I got the cage open.

"Then let's go right now! Me and my friends can help you escape!" I told them.

"We're masters of STEALTH!" Grenda yelled.

"You'd really do that for us beef?" Chubby Z. asked.

"You can count on us!" I smiled, then realized what he said. "Did you just call me beef?"

 **GFF**

I groaned as the girls and I dragged the boys into the shack. We had crammed all five of them into a duffel bag that we had found in their dressing room, then got a taxi back to the shack. I don't mean to sound rude, but those guys weigh a lot more than you think. Even with Grenda's strength, we were struggling.

"Hey guys." Damn; so much for sneaking the boys in here. I turned around and saw Dipper standing in front of me, Grunkle Stan sitting in the living room, both of them watching us. "What's in the bag?"

"Money! Money we stole!" I replied quickly, saying the first thing that came to mind.

"We are criminals! We will cut you!" Candy added, pulling me back.

"Let's go away from here now!" Grenda announced, dragging the boys up half the steps on her own. Candy and I grabbed the other strings and carried the bag into the attic. I unzipped the bag and all the boys fell out, looking around the attic or out the window.

"Your tour bus is really strange, Mabel girl. Where the feedin' tubes at?" Leggy P asked me. Before I could answer, Waddles started oinking excitedly.

"What up girl?" Deep Chris asked him, Waddles rolling around under his hand and oinking.

"So when do we get to go outside?" Creggy G asked me, turning around from the window.

"I wanna cavort like a woodland creature!" Chubby Z added enthusiastically. Before I could answer, car tires screeched from outside. I ran over to the window and saw a limo, the producer

guy closing the door.

"Guys, hide! It's your producer!" I called over my shoulder. The boys all dove under my bed. I looked out the window as the producer walked over to Soos. I cracked open the window and was able to catch the last part of their conversation.

"…here somewhere! I'll find those boys if I have to turn this town upside down!" He turned around and stormed back to the limo. He kicked Gompers away, the goat taking the license plate with him, before getting back into the limo and speeding off.

"Guys, it's not safe out there!" I yelled, closing the window and turning around. "Bratsman's still looking for you!"

"What do we do?" "I'm scared!" "Dang girl!" The boys said from under my bed. I bent down and looked at them, smiling sympathetically.

"Don't worry guys. He'll give up eventually. In the meantime, you can stay here with us!" As the boys celebrated and came out from under the bed, I turned to the girls. "Do you guys realize what's happening here? We have our own pet boy band we can do whatever we want with!"

Before they could respond, I walked over to the boys and sat them down in a line, me in the front. "All aboard the braid train! Braid braid!" The boys started braiding mine and each other's hair as Candy and Grenda looked at us weird. "What?" I asked, thinking about all the fun the boys and I could have.

 **Dipper's POV (July 11th)**

"It took me a long time, but I converted it into a record for you guys," Willow said, walking into the living room, a new-old record in her hands. "Why did you need me to do that again?"

"We needed to slow it down so we could see if my mind control theory is correct or not," I reminded her, putting the records on Stan's record player. "Prepare to have your mind blown."

"Spit take here I come!" Stan said, filling his mouth with Pitt Cola. The song started playing at normal speed, but when I slowed it down, it sounded like… a slowed down record. "That's not spit worthy. What gives?" Stan asked, swallowing the soda. I moved the speed dial up and down, but, of course, no hidden messages were revealed.

"This was so stupid!" I yelled, slamming my fist on the table. "Of course there's no mind control messages! Mabel was right; Wendy just liked the song. She just likes Robbie." I sat in one of the chairs, thumping my head on the table. For some reason, the sound echoed. I looked up and saw Wendy and Robbie walking in.

"Hey guys. Forgot my keys," Wendy said, walking towards the gift shop.

"What's up junior? Trying to come up with an equation to make girls like you?" Robbie asked me, laughing at his joke. Wendy walked back in, slipping her arm through Robbie's.

"Ready to go to lookout point?" She asked as they left.

"Later dorks. Catch ya on the rewind," Robbie said, closing the door behind him.

"I'll rewind your face!" Stan called after him. I looked back at the record and the pieces clicked.

"Grunkle Stan, rewind! That's it!" I started spinning the record backwards, the message coming through loud and clear.

 _You are under my control. Your mind is mine._

Soda splattered in my face. "Holy mackerel! Now there's your spit take!" Stan said as I wiped the soda off.

"I knew it! It is mind control! Wait. It's mind control! I've gotta save Wendy!" I yelled, grabbing the tapeman I had used to record the message.

"Finally a good reason to punch a teenager in the face! Let's roll!" Stan yelled, grabbing his keys, the three of us jumping into his car to save our friend from an evil mind-controlling goth kid.

 **Mabel's POV**

"How'd it go up there?" Grenda asked me as I walked into the kitchen. After all the fun we had had with them today, and not getting busted at all, I couldn't wait until tomorrow. I sighed and sat down next to her and Candy, putting the news on.

"I finally got them to calm down. But Greggy C did try to eat a tape dispenser a few times," I explained, downing half a bottle of water in one gulp.

" _The music industry was shanked today at the news that boy band king, Ergman Bratsman, has been arrested."_ Wait, WHAT? I turned up the volume on the TV, hoping I had heard wrong. Nope; Shandra Jimenez was reporting his arrest, the video playing in the corner of the screen. " _He was pulled over tonight for not having a rear license plate. He is now in county jail, awaiting trial."_

"Yes!" Grenda exclaimed, turning the TV off.

"Let's go tell the boys they are free now!" Candy yelled, her and Grenda running up the steps, me literally right on their heels. As soon as we got on the attic level, I ran around them and blocked the door.

"Not so fast! They're not going anywhere!" I yelled, throwing my arms out in front of me.

"What's the dealio Mabel? That evil producer guy is gone. We have to tell the boys," Grenda said, but I could see her brain working overtime. She's a lot smarter than people give her credit for. But that wasn't important right now. What was important was me keeping the boys in the attic… for their protection.

"Girls, let's not be so hasty. I mean, think about it. If we don't tell the boys, then they can stay here with me - I mean us!" I told them, correcting myself quickly.

"Mabel, we can't keep them here forever," Grenda reminded me.

"But I love them!" I responded.

"If you loved them, you would set them free," Candy reasoned.

"Never! Every boy I've loved this summer has left me! And I'm not gonna let it happen again!" They whispered to each other and then Candy ran at me. We fell backwards through the doorway and onto the attic floor.

"Guys, Bratsman's in jail! You're free!" Grenda yelled, pulling Candy off of me. FYI, Candy's stronger than she looks.

"Is that true Mabel dog?" Creggy G asked me.

"NO!" I yelled, standing up and dusting off. "No, umm… your producer's still out there! You're gonna have to stay here, probably forever!"

"She is lying! You cannot listen to her!" Candy told the boys.

"Mabel's our girl, girl. She puts pizza in our food though," Deep Chris told them.

"She changes our newspaper yo. She's aight," Chubby Z added.

"She is not 'aight' Cubby Z!" Grenda told them.

"Sev'ral Timez!" I snapped, the boys standing at attention like I train… TAUGHT them! "Remove these two from the premises please." The boy started snapping and moving towards the girls.

"They're aggressively dancing at us!" Grenda yelled as the boys picked her and Candy up.

"Mabel's gone mad with power! Save yourselves, Sev'ral Timez! You were better off with your producer!" The boys threw them out of the room, closing the door and posing. "Call me Deep Chris!" Grenda added, poking her head back in. Leggy P kicked backwards, closing the door.

"Thank you boys," I sighed, glad they hadn't found out they could leave. "Now let's get aboard the braid train."

"Things just got pretty heavy Mabel," Deep Chris said. "Maybe we should just chill for a minute and-"

"I said, let's get aboard the BRAIN TRAIN!" I interrupted him, not missing the looks the boys gave each other.

 **Willow's POV**

"We gotta warn Wendy about the song before she gets brainwashed again!" Dipper recapped, his adrenaline getting the better of him. After we had found the message the three of us had gotten into Stan's El Diablo, which was rightly named; Stan was driving like the Devil was on our tail.

"Road safety laws, prepare to be ignored! HOLD ON!" Stan yelled, crashing through a blocked road and literally driving up the side of the mountain, crash landing at Lookout Point. Robbie's van was facing west, looking towards the sunset. I gotta admit, it was a nice place. The three of us climbed, or fell, out of the car, Dipper running over to the van.

"Wendy, Robbie's been lying to you!" Dipper yelled as Wendy rolled her window down, confusion clear in both her and Robbie's faces.

"Dipper?" She asked.

"Kid? Girl? Mr. Pines?" Robbie added.

"I have a name!" "That's Mr. Pines to you!" Stan and I replied, walking up behind Dipper, Robbie getting even more confused.

"Wendy, I'm sorry, but you gotta hear this," Dipper said, hitting play on the tapeman. Robbie's song started playing, completely normal, no hidden messages. Dipper started fiddling with it, swearing the message was in there somewhere.

"Let me just close the window," Robbie said, reaching for the button. Before he could close the window, Dipper got the tapeman figured out, the message coming through loud and clear.

 _You are under my control. Your mind is mine._

"Robbie, what's that doing in our song?" Wendy asked, doubtfulness in her voice.

"Baby, I promise, I don't know anything about those messages," Robbie insisted. "In fact, I didn't even write that song. I ripped it off of some other band! So we're all good, right?" Worse thing he could have said.

"No, we are not 'all good!'" Wendy told him, Dipper, Stan and I having backed up to give them a sort-of privacy. "I don't care about the messages. You said you wrote that song for me and I actually thought it was sweet, you big liar!"

"I know, I know, I lie about a lot of stuff. Like using your makeup and fighting a bear, but-" I REALLY needed to get that full story later on. But now wasn't the time for it.

"No! No excuses! It's over Robbie. We're through! Goodbye!" Wendy stepped out of the van, slamming the door behind her. Stan turned to Dipper, a huge grin on his face.

"We won! Kid, this is a victory for every guys whose hands are too weak of fat to play a musical instrument!"

"I couldn't have done it without you, Grunkle Stan," Dipper thanked him, turning around to look at Wendy, who was furiously walking away. He ran over and caught up to her. "Hey, now that your free, we were thinking maybe bowling or something?"

Oh my God, did he REALLY just do that? God, he did. A message to all the young girls out there; BOYS ARE IDIOTS! Wendy turned around, and for the first time this summer, I saw her, the level-headed, no worries, lumber-jackie, crying.

"Are you serious? Right now?" She asked, her voice cracking. "What is wrong with guys? You only think about yourselves! All of you should just leave me alone!" She ran down the hill, something in me telling me to follow her. As I was leaving, I heard a honk, and Stan saying something about the apocalypse and gold.

Wendy ran off the path and cut through the trees, me trying to follow her. Don't get me wrong, I was able to keep up pretty well, but all the trees and undergrowth made it a challenge. Eventually we ended up at the top of the cliffs, Wendy dangling her legs over the side, me a few feet behind her. "Why did you follow me?" She asked without turning around.

"You want me to leave?" I questioned. She shook her head, and I took that as a signal to sit next to her.

"What is wrong with boys?" She asked after a few minutes. I shrugged, deciding I would just let her vent.

"Hell if I know. I was hoping you had some answers," I started off. She smiled and looked at me. She had stopped crying, but her eyes were still wet and red.

"You know what, I sometimes forget you're twelve. You handle yourself so well," she told me. "I haven't figured out boys yet, and I don't think I ever will."

"You got any advice for me? I haven't told the other's, but I could really use it."

"About Alex?" I nodded. She thought for a minute, then gave me what advice she could. "Okay. I don't know that much about him and the two of you, so I don't really know what to tell you. But I do know this; I'm the only girl in a family of boys. They all are crazy, but they would do anything to protect me, and I would do the same for them. And from the little bit I've talked to Alex, I am dead serious; he would do literally ANYTHING to protect you.

"I don't know what it's like to be close to someone in the military. Hell, the farthest away from Gravity Falls I've been has just been camping. But I have a sixth sense that lets me be able to read people. When I met Alex, feelings of guilt and sorrow and passion and love came through so clearly that I almost passed out.

"He has grown up faster than most people; I think you all have. From what Dipper's told me, you guys say 'I love you' a lot. I know that you guys are twelve, but my sixth sense hasn't let me down before; you two are some of the very, very, VERY few that will be able to make it work no matter what.

"And if I could give you one piece of advice that applies to boys in general… they are so scared of losing you that they do stupid things to try to keep you safe and with them."

"Even brainwashing you?" I asked when she was done. That was the most I've ever heard her say, and I think it was what we both needed to hear. She laughed, real laughter, me joining in.

"Even brainwashing you. So you good now?"

"Maybe not quite yet, but I will be. What about you? You think you'll forgive the boys?" She stopped, realizing that what she had just told me applied to her as well.

"Eventually, yes. But not just yet." Call it coincidence, but just then, the clouds that had been breezing past all day cleared for just a few seconds, a beam of moonlight lighting up the Mystery Shack. We glanced at each other and stood up, starting to walk back down the cliffs, both of us confused and upset, but knowing that eventually things would get better, for all of us.

When the wind tries to blow you away, you just need one small thing to keep you grounded.

 **Mabel's POV**

"Mabel, you've gotta hear this," Creggy G said, him and the other boys walking up to me. "It's a song we wrote to say 'thank you,'" he added, playing a song and starting to sing.

" _Here come you, Mabel girl! We dreamed of being free, but now we know, that that can never be. You know what friend are all about; you kicked those lying shorty's out."_ They started, ripping a poster I had of Candy and Grenda in half, the guilt starting to sink in as the continued singing.

" _BREAK IT DOWN! Who's the girl whose so aight, tucks us into bed at night! Holds the fan up while we sing! KEEPS ME ENTERTAINED WITH STRING! My shirt was wrinkled till, SHE PRESSED IT! Chews our food, SO WE CAN DIGEST IT! He was evil, mean and reckless; YOU GAVE ME THIS CANDY NECKLACE! 'Sup girl, other folks we could never trust, but we know, that you'd never lie to us. Mabel girl, we know you love us SoOoOo…"_

"And… that's why I've got to let you go," I finished. "Boys, sit down," I told them. They did as I asked, then I told them the truth that should have been said a long time ago.

In the morning, I went downstairs and opened the front door to see Candy and Grenda about to enter.

"Hi girls. Look, I'm really sorry I went bonkers back there. A catchy song made me realize that you were right. Can you ever forgive me?"

"Of course!" "Friendship, repaired!" They said, the three of us hugging as the boys came outside for the first time.

"What's going on Mabel girl?" Leggy P asked me.

"You said you had something to show us or some deal?" Chubby Z added.

"Yup; THIS!" I said, spreading my arms out to show them the forest. Cubby Z was the first to say something.

"Who is this big, round bright fool?"

"That, Chubby Z, is the sun."

"That fool is making my eyes hurt straight painful! I'm gonna stare that fool down!" He said, lasting all of five seconds. Deep Chris spoke up next.

"Hold up. What's that big green mess?"

"That's nature, Deep Chris. Bratsman won't bother you guys anymore. You can do anything you wanna do, go anywhere you wanna go! You're free!"

"Fa-ree?" Chubby Z. asked. I nodded and grabbed a stick, trying not to let my tears fall.

"You're free! It jeans you can skedaddle!" I started hitting their legs with the stick. They moved forward a bit, then turned back to me. "Get out of here before I change my mind!" I yelled, crying into Grenda's shoulder.

"Goodbye, Girl!" They sang, backing into the bushes and their new lives. There was a few seconds of silence, then Candy said the obvious truth.

"They won't last a week."

 **Dipper's POV**

"Women; they're the real mystery, Dip," Stan said, popping a Pitt Cola can and giving it to me. "You ruin their date, drive their hippie boyfriend's car into a ravine, and somehow you're the bad guy."

"It's my fault. I shouldn't have meddled in Wendy's personal life," I admitted. "She probably hates me now."

"Chin up kid. You were trying to do the right thing. Even though you destroyed a relationship and part of my car."

"I guess that's true. You think she'll ever forgive me?"

"I bet she will. And until then, you can always go bowling with me."

"Thanks Grunkle Stan," I said, impressed with-

"Is something rooting through our trash?" Stan said, standing up and yelling out the window. I could have sworn whatever it was looking just like one of the people from the band Mabel was into. "Darn beautiful men. Always eating out of my trash… Wait what?"

Just then, Mabel and her friend walked in, sitting down next to us.

"Mabel, what are the chances of one of your boy band members eating our trash?" I asked her. She smiled slightly.

"Pretty high. So was Wendy really being hypnotized, or are your just paranoid?" She asked. Stan actually stood up for me for once.

"Try brainwashing." After her saw the confused look on Mabel's face, he smiled. "I think we all missed something. Ten bucks says Dip and I's story is weirder."

Fifteen minutes later, Mabel was ten dollars richer, and Stan was back to denying that this town is messed up. Come on dude! Seriously?! He's been living here for thirty YEARS, and if I missed that much in two days, there must be something seriously major going on if Stan doesn't know about the magic.

* * *

 **Ah, foreshadowing. The best literary element that doesn't make you want to kill the creators. I hope you guys enjoyed this chapter; I sure had fun writing it. Please give me your thoughts, keep sending in questions for the Q &A, and I will see you in two weeks!**


	16. Land Before Swine

**Hey guys! This is the last chapter before the Q &A, so please, please, PLEASE send in more questions! That chapter is going to be because of you guys, so the more you send in, the better it will be. Now then, SHOUT OUTS!**

 **Gamelover41592- Thanks. I was pretty proud of it, so I'm glad you liked that.**

 **Miss Tri- I liked that part too. In the advice bit, Wendy was talking more like five or ten years down the road, not just this summer and when they start school again. It doesn't happen that much anymore, but high school, and sometimes even middle school, sweethearts can make it work out in the end. That was what I was trying to go for during that scene. And don't EVER apologize for writing a long review. Don't get me wrong; I love the one-liners, but they don't really give you much. Reviews like the ones you are writing are what help people become better writers.**

 **BobDob- I'm glad you liked that part. I know Willow didn't do much, but sometimes she doesn't fit, so you have to take what you can get. And you will start to get more coming up very soon. The real mystery is about to get revealed, and I can't wait for you guys to see what I have planned.**

 **AwkwardG- Thanks for your review. I was pretty proud of that scene, and I'm glad people liked it. Here's your update!**

 **tkb0- Thanks for your review. I really don't think the residents are weird (most of the time) as much as the town its self is weird, but that's just me! Now that we're getting into the main part of the story/show, you will get to see what my plans are.**

 **Disclaimer: I only own Willow and her creepiness. Everything else belongs to Alex Hirsch.**

* * *

 **Mabel's POV (July 12th)**

Waddles and I looked over the window sill, watching as Grunkle Stan drove the golf cart on a tour of the forest. And with Grunkle Stan gone, Wendy off for the day, and Soos and my sibs out monster hunting or something, that meant…

"Finally, Waddles, we have the whole house to ourselves," I said, grabbing my pet pig. "What do you think? Dance party?" Waddles oinked. "I'm not hearing a no!"

I turned the open sign to closed, then cracked up the radio and yelled "PIG DANCE PARTY!" After the best 20 minutes of my, life, I face planted on the floor. Mabel Juice can only give you so much before you crash. Waddles came over and licked my fingers.

"Cuddle time!" I called, pulling Waddles into my lap. "Waddles can I tell you a secret? You're my favorite pig in the whole world…" I said, closing my eyes.

Someone tripped over me. "Mabel?" I sat up and saw Grunkle Stan on the ground next to me, glasses out of place and a stack of money in his hand. "What are ya doing on the floor?"

"Being cute and great!" I replied, squishing mine and Waddles' faces together. Waddles squirmed out of my arms and started chewing on Grunkle Stan's pants leg. He pulled his leg away and opened the door.

"Outside, NOW!" Grunkle Stan yelled. I picked Waddles up and held him behind me protectively.

"No! Grunkle Stan, it's not safe out there! There's predators, and barbequers!"

"That's just the natural order! It's not my fault your pig is potentially delicious," he said, closing the door anyway, but I was still pissed.

"He should be inside like a person!"

"People don't roll around in their own filth, except Soos…"

"And we're the lesser for it! Maybe we're the ones who should be put outside! Think about it!" I spun around and walked out of the gift shop, Waddles in my arms.

 **Willow's POV**

"Today's the day. Thanks for coming along on this mission, Soos," Dipper said as the three of us got out of Soos' pick up. After last night, we had decided we all needed a distraction, so when the newspaper had come in, it was a no brainer.

Something had ripped the roof off of a police car, and the police force was worried about what it could do to a town that's mostly made of lumber. The problem was they didn't know what they were dealing with. We were going to try and get a picture and hopefully figure out how to make the creature stop causing problems.

"It's an honor dudes. Today I'm sweating from both heat and excitement!" Soos said as we climbed into the bed of his truck to get our gear. Soos took some camera's and pieces of rope up into the trees as Dipper and I started setting up the trap. As soon as we were done, we lifted the cooler up into the trees with us, just as Soos was done putting up the cameras.

"Is sap supposed to be this sticky?" Soos questioned as he tried to get the sap off his arms.

"If everything goes according to plan," Dipper said, ignoring Soos completely, "the creature will grab that steak, cross through the string, and set off the cameras."

"You excited?" I asked him. He nodded. One of the things he did when he was really nervous or scared or excited was recap what was going on or what the plan was, even though everybody involved already knew what the situation was.

"And nothing can go wrong!" Soos, who had not heard our exchange, held up his hand. The three of us high-fived each other, but then realized we had gotten stuck together.

"This was poorly planned," I said, reaching for the cooler, hoping the ice would-

We all hunched down as a roar and huge gust of wind came out of nowhere. When we stood back up, we realized two things. One: We had gotten separated. Two was that as far as we could see the plan had worked perfectly. The steak was gone and the trip wire had been cut. Now all that was left was to develop the film and see if we had gotten a clear picture of the creature.

 **Mabel's POV**

I smiled as I finished the newest sweater I was working on. It was for Waddles and had my face on, matching the one I had made of him for myself. "Hey you!"

"Me?" I asked, looking at the TV. A man was holding a baby under his arm and trying to eat a slice of pizza with the other hand.

"Sick of constantly dropping your baby?" The voice over asked.

"Yes," the baby man replied before disappearing, the V.O. taking his place.

"Hi, I'm Bobby Renzobbi! And what you need is the Huggy Wuvvy Tummy Bundle!" The baby man came back, a bunch of babies in a blue thing on his chest.

"I can hold ten babies at once!" He said before disappearing again, Bobby coming back.

"I know what you're thinking: Does it work for pigs? Oh-oh yeah it does work for pigs, stupid! Feel your pig's heartbeat next to yours! IT WORKS FOR PIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIGS!" A giant pig nose popped up, oinking happily.

"Grunkle Stan! I'm off to get a Huggy Wuvvy Tummy Bundle!" I yelled as I slipped Waddles' sweater over his head. There would be time to tie off the yarn later.

"Isn't knitting matching sweaters for that pig enough?" Grunkle Stan asked me, straightening his tie in the mirror.

"Nope," I replied, picking Waddles up. "Anyway, I need you to look after this little gentleman while I'm gone," I said, Waddles snapping at a fly.

"Not now kid. I got some tourists coming through," he said, finishing his tie. I put Waddles down and looked up to Grunkle Stan.

"I know you're not crazy about Waddles…"

"He's a fat, naked jerk," he interrupted.

"…But you do care about me. Promise you won't put him outside?" I tilted my head to the side and smiled. It always worked on Dad back home, and even though Grunkle Stan was a lot tougher, it worked like a charm.

"Fine, yeah, yeah. I promise," he said. At least I think he did. I was already running out the door, trying to get money out of my pocket. FOR WADDLES!

 **Willow's POV**

"Now we wait," I said, stepping back. We had used old cameras to take the pics, so we needed to develop the film in a darkroom. I had set up my workshop so we could do that. It took about two minutes for the film to develop, but we were anxious and kept walking back and forth, checking on the pictures. Eventually, camera A's picture came out.

"It looks like a beak," Dipper said, turning the picture around and looking at it from different angles. I glanced away and saw camera B's starting to come through.

"Over here," I said, picking the photo up. "It's a wing! Camera C should have gotten the rest!" We ran over to where camera C was being developed. The image started to come through. It looked like a giant bird. I reached down to-

"Who wants victory nachos?" Soos asked, opening the door and letting light in, the image disappearing.

"NO!" Dipper and I yelled, me picking up the photo and Dipper glaring at Soos.

"Don't worry dudes. I only ate like a third of them. Half of 'em. I ate all of 'em dude!" Soos finished, turning the bowl over. Dipper grabbed the picture and shoved it into Soos' hands.

"I can't believe you man!" Dipper yelled as Soos looked at the now ruined image.

"Sorry dude. I just got so excited! Nachos cause excitement!" Soos insisted, giving me the photo back. I sighed, knowing it wasn't his fault, but still angry.

"No offense Soos, but you gotta be more careful. What are the odds we'll ever get another picture-"

We're from California, so we are no stranger to earthquakes. But earthquakes don't usually sound like a pro wrestler body slammed someone and last of half a second. Without saying anything, I grabbed one of the cameras and the three of us ran outside.

I ran through the doorway and onto the porch, the camera up, but stopped. At first glance, the creature looked like a giant bird, but that wasn't what it was. Somehow, it was a pterodactyl. Stan and the three of us watched as it flew away, red string trailing behind it for some reason. Then I realized I hadn't gotten a pic. "Dang it!" I yelled, shoving the camera into my jacket.

"Did you see that dude? That thing was a dinosaur, bro!" Soos said to Dipper, snapping him out of his trance.

"How is it possible that a dinosaur survived 65 million years?" Dipper questioned, always wondering why. Did it really matter? This town has A LIVE DINOSAUR living in it!

"Did you see it Mr. Pines?" Soos asked Stan. He just stood there. "Mr. Pines?"

"I-It-It took him," he whispered, still staring at the sky.

"Took who?" I asked.

"The pig! It took Waddles!" That thing had taken Waddles? Mabel was going to be-

"What did you say about Waddles?" Speak of the Devil. Mabel rode up on a bike, completely oblivious to what had happened. The four of us just stood there, only moving our eyes back and forth. "Whoa. Awkward silence," she realized, then added "BWAAAAH!

"Seriously, what's going on?" She asked, taking something out of the basket of the bike. "Why are you standing around all awkwardly? And where's Waddles?"

"Ummm…" Stan muttered pulling a stake out of the ground. "The good news is you're getting a puppy!"

"What happened?" she asked, her smile fading.

"Well, see, uh, when the, um-"

"Your pig got eaten by a p-terodactyl, bro!" Soos explained, although I seriously doubt the thing had eaten Waddles alive. Mabel, however, automatically assumed the worse.

"What?! Waddles? Waddles! How could this happen?" She marched over to Stan, accusation fixed in with the sadness in her face. "Grunkle Stan, you didn't put him outside?"

"What? No! I didn't put him anywhere! I'm not acting suspicious! YOU'RE acting suspicious! What's a pig?" I mentally face-palmed, knowing that had it been anyone besides Mabel, he would have been busted a long time ago.

"Then what happened?" Dipper asked, his look saying that he didn't believe Stan either.

"Uh, look, it went down like this, see? So there I was, in the living room, tenderly nursing him with only the richest of creams. When all of a sudden the creature burst through the door and took Waddles from me. So I said 'No dice cowboy!' and started punching him in the face! But he played dirty and took your pig with him. That really happened!"

For being a conman, Stan's a pretty bad liar. Mabel, however bought the whole thing, fake crying and all, hook, line, and sinker.

"Grunkle Stan, you tried to save him!" She said, giving him a hug.

"You fought that thing? I thought you didn't believe in the supernatural." Seriously dude? Now is not the time to be worried about whether or not Stan admits to this town being weird!

"Dinosaurs aren't magic; they're just big lizards! And I've told ya before, drop it with the whole magic thing," Stan said, Mabel pulling away from him.

"Oh Waddles," she said, looking at a photo of the two of them. I sighed and went into attack mode.

"No miracle dinosaur messes with this family. The five of us are gonna go out there, catch him, and save your pig! For Mabel, guys!"

"For Mabel!" Soos backed me up. Stan, of course, had to protest.

"But how do we even find the little guy?" Mabel looked around and her face lit up.

"We follow that!" She yelled, pointing to the red string. I shrugged; it would work as well as anything. We were about to go inside to get supplies when Stan had to be difficult again.

"Or, you know, we could just call it a day, maybe hit the pool haul or…" he trailed of as he saw us staring at him. With a lot of effort, he corrected himself. "Okay, yeah. Let's go… save Woggles!"

"Waddles," the four of us corrected.

"Him too," Stan said, the five of us going inside to gather anything we thought we would need for the mission.

 **Dipper's POV**

Half an hour later, we were pretty much ready to go. We had filled the bed of a pick-up truck with supplies like rope, Willow's crossbow and bolts, and a cage to put the creature in. Willow and I both had a backpack with water bottles and snack bars. I had a lantern (flashlights get in the way of hand mobility), and Willow had GG Filbrick's Swiss-Army knife, and we each had a camera.

"All right!" Soos said proudly, finishing spray-painting PTERODACTLY MOBLIE on the side of the truck. "That p-terodactyl won't know what hit him," he added, pronouncing the p in pterodactyl.

"It's pterodactyl, man," I told him as he got on the ground, a strap in his hand.

"Actually, no one knows how to pronounce it because no one was alive back in dinosaur days, so-" The truck moved forward a few inches, Soos barley pulling his head out of the way in time. "Whoa! Almost ran over my own head there! Ha ha… Wow."

I turned to Mabel, who was cramming a bunch of stuff for Waddles into a backpack of her own. "Mabel, we've gotta talk. This is a pretty high-stakes mission and I'm a little worried about Soos coming along on this one. I love the guy, but sometimes," I lowered my voice a bit more, "he messes stuff up."

"What? Since when?" She asked me, swinging the backpack over her shoulders.

"The crystal ball… the window. Do you remember the fairy?" I pointed out. He had broken the first two, and he had killed the fairy with a flyswatter.

"I see your point. Let him down easy," she told me, walking over to help Willow do one last supply check. I walked over to Soos, who was babbling excitedly.

"This is so great! You and me bro. Best friends. Fighting, and potentially high-fiving dinosaurs…" He was not making this easy, but it had to be said.

"Soos, look. I, uh, I've gotta tell you something," I started, but he cut me off.

"Okay, but before you do, check out these matching shirts I made for us." He held out a giant shirt with very crude drawing of us on them. "Who's this guy right here?" He asked, pointing at me. "You! Totally you, dude. And these rays indicate friendship! So what did you wanna tell me again?"

"Uh… p-terodactyl here we come!" I said, sighing inwardly.

"Yes!" Soos yelled, jumping into the driver's side of the truck. I jumped into the shotgun seat, Stan and the girls climbing into the back. Soos started driving, the rolled down his window and yelled, "Bros before Dinos!"

 **Mabel's POV**

Soos pulled up to an old church. There were holes in the walls and roof, and all the windows were missing, but that was where Waddles was, and I would have jumped into an active volcano if it meant getting him back. We all climbed out of the truck and grabbed our gear, then walked into the church.

"The red yarn leads to…" I looked up and saw two things. One: the yarn went into a large hole in the floor in front of the altar. Two: Sitting in a rocking chair on the altar was, "… Old Man McGucket?"

"Howdy friends!" He called, standing up and jumping over to us.

"What are YOU doing here?" Willow questioned, lowering her crossbow. Paranoid, much?

"You'll never believe me! Now I was doin' my hourly hootnanny," he started dancing "when this enormous wing-ly critter stole my musical spoons and flew lickety-split into the abandoned mines down yonder." We all looked into the hole as McGucket took Willow's crossbow and started examining it.

"Looks kinda hairy down there," Grunkle Stan said, pulling back.

"Come on Grunkle Stan, you can handle it! You punched the pterodactyl in the face, remember?"

"Oh yeah! Heh heh, I did do that, didn't I? Heh… heh heh heh…"

"My, what suspicious laughter," McGucket said, geting up in Grunkle Stan's face as best as he could before giving Willow her crossbow back. "Nice work with that 'un."

"Guys, we're going in," I announced, already looking for a place to tie the rope off on.

"Need someone to tag along and tell weird personal stories?" McGucket offered.

"No thanks." Grunkle Stan tried to shoot him down, but it didn't work. Five minutes later, we were all climbing down a rope we had tied to the piano that was in there. Soos was closest to the bottom, then it was Willow, Dipper, who was carrying a lantern over his shoulder, (he didn't even bring a flashlight?) me, Grunkle Stan, and McGucket, who was rambling away.

"…So there I am, fighting a raccoon for the same piece of meat, when our mouths get close and we kiss accidentally!" He finished, doing pretty well on the rope despite his cast.

"You can't take a hint, can you?" Grunkle Stan asked him.

"Nope!" He replied proudly. There was a ripping sound, and suddenly, all of us were screaming and falling. We landed on something semi-soft, then rolled down it and landed in a heap on the ground.

"Everyone okay?" Dipper asked, turning the lantern on. Aside from the air being knocked out of us, and the bruises that were sure to sting tomorrow, we were all fine. I stood up and started looking around.

The first thing we had landed on had been a giant, weird-looking mushroom, a bunch of others scattered around. In the middle of the cavern was a geyser. There were tunnels with tracks running through there, and a few mine cars stacked up in a corner. The others scattered around, looking at the plants.

"These plants look all Jurassic-y," Dipper announced. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Willow and McGucket cutting some of the smaller plants out and cramming them into her backpack/his hat.

"This little guy smells like battery acid!" Soos piped up, the plant coughing in his face. "Looks like I lost my sense of smell!"

I pulled a picture of me and Waddles out of my pocket. "Waddles, we're gonna find you. Guys! Let's keep moving!" I called behind me, putting the picture back. Dipper and Soos took the lead, me and Grunkle Stan behind them, Willow and McGucket bringing up the rear, talking to each other. From what I could get, McGucket was telling Willow about some of his old inventions. I smiled, glad Willow was-

"AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" A T-Rex was bending down towards us, it's mouth open. One of Willow's bolts flew at it, but got stuck in something that was surrounding it.

"They're all trapped inside tree sap! That's how they survived 65 million years!" Dipper announced, all of us walking around. There were a bunch of different dinos, all surrounded by the sap.

"Guys, over here!" Willow called. Dipper, McGucket and I walked over. One of the sap blocks had a giant, pterodactyl-shaped hole in it. "The summer heat must be melting them loose."

"Dudes…" Soos called. We walked over and saw that another dino, I think a velociraptor, was slowly working one of its hands loose.

"Maybe we should keep moving," Dipper said, the four of them walking towards the tunnel. I doubled back to pick up Grunkle Stan, who was talking to himself about turning the cave into an attraction.

"This could be a gold mine!" He was saying, pointing to where he would put everything. "Velvety-rope type deal there, ticket booth here, HA! I should've put that pig outside ages ago!"

"Wait- what did you just say?" I asked, praying I had heard wrong.

"What's that?" He said, turning around, panicking slightly when he saw me.

"You said the dinosaur flew INTO the house," I reminded him, him panicking even more.

"No! Wait, uh, if you think about it-"

"You put Waddles outside then you lied to me about it!" I started crying, shocked that he would do that. "And now thanks to you, my pig could be dead! WADDLES COULD BE DEAD!" I started running through the tunnel, Stan chasing after me.

"Look kid, he's an animal! He belongs outside!" He yelled as we caught up to the others. I stopped and turned around to face him.

"No- that's it! Stanford Filbrick Pines, I am never speaking to you again!" I heard everyone gasp, and honestly, I was shocked at myself, but I didn't regret it. Out of all of us (excluding McGucket) I was the only one who went by their given name on a regular basis. This was the first time this summer any of us had called any of the others anything aside from their nick/shortened names, and that, plus the middle name, made it VERY clear how pissed I was.

"KID!" Stanford insisted.

"LA LA LA LA LA! I can't hear anyone! No one's talking to me!" I yelled, taking my hands down when I realized Soos had started talking.

"… Everything's gonna be fine. We just gotta keep following the yarn!" He announced, picking it up. There were five or six tunnels that we could choose from. "We just keep following and following and when we reach the end- uh oh." He had started raveling the string and the end of it had appeared in his hand. We all looked towards the caverns, no idea which one would lead to Waddles.

"Soos, you lost the trail!" Dipper yelled, walking up to him.

"Come on dude, we'll find our way. Trust me!" Soos clapped Dipper on the back, causing him to drop the lantern, breaking it, sending us into darkness. "Sorry dude."

"That is it! This is why I didn't wanna bring you along!" Dipper yelled, my eyes finally adjusting. Turns out, it wasn't as dark as I had been expecting. There was enough light to see that Willow and McGucket had grabbed the lantern pieces and were trying to fix it, and the hurt look on Soos' face was just… I'd have been fine not seeing it.

"What do you mean?" He asked cautiously.

"I mean this is really important to Mabel and you keep screwing everything up! You ruined the photograph, and now you've got us hopelessly lost!" Dipper yelled.

"But we're p-terodactyl bros! I made t-shirts!" Soos insisted.

"It's pronounced pterodactyl! And these shirts are useless, they're gicantic!" Dipper told him.

"I have a different body type, dude!" Soos yelled, the two of them starting to yell over top of one another. Stanford came up to me and started trying to explain why he put Waddles outside, but we just started yelling at each other too.

"GUYS!" Willow yelled, silencing us instantly. We looked up and saw that she and McGucket had fixed the lantern. They were standing face to face, but Willow wasn't looking at McGucket. We all screamed when we saw that the pterodactyl was standing right above him.

"What- what're we doin'?" He asked, oblivious to what was behind him.

"Behind you," Willow whispered, slowly aiming her crossbow. McGucket turned around and saw the creature, then slowly backed up and pushed Willow's crossbow down.

"Don't make any sudden movements or loud noises," he whispered to us. Like any of us would- "YEEHAW! We found a pterodactyl!"

The pterodactyl shrieked and all of us started running down a tunnel. Willow was trying to fire backwards, but running made it near impossible to get a clear shot. Eventually, the tunnel opened onto a ledge with mine car tracks leading to a giant nest in the middle of a chasm. We all hid behind some rocks, watching as the pterodactyl crawled through the tunnel and started circling the nest.

"We need a plan to get out of here," Dipper announced unnecessarily.

"Okay, okay," Stanford said, spewing out one of the dumbest plans I had ever heard. "How's about Mabel knits Soos a pig costume…"

"I like it," Soos interrupted.

"…And we use Soos as a human sacrifice!"

"I like it!" Soos approved.

"What do ya say Mabel?" I growled and turned away from him. "Come on kid. You can't Stop talking to me forever." That was true. There was only, I think, six weeks left before I never had to see him again.

"Mabel, we gotta work together here," Dipper told me, relighting his argument with Soos.

"You wanna work with Mabel and not your buddy Soos?" He asked, the three of them starting to argue with each other. It kept going until they got interrupted by a very familiar oinking.

"Did you hear that?" I asked, peering around the edge of the rocks. Sitting up and facing towards me in the nest was… "WADDLES!" I yelled, running out onto the tracks, the others trying to call me back. "Is someone speaking, because I can't hear anything!" I yelled as they started chasing me.

"Waddles!" I yelled, throwing my arms around him and cuddling. "I'll never lose you again! You're safe now," I insisted, grabbing the Huggy Wuvvy Tummy Bundle out of my backpack and putting it on him.

"Great, you got him! But we gotta get outta here!" Dipper whispered to me, although I didn't see what-

A giant shadow flew overhead, causing Waddles to freak out and run onto the track. He jumped onto Stanford, knocking him on his back. "Get off me ya dumb pig!" He yelled, holding Waddles up off his chest. The five of us who were in the nest looked up as the pterodactyl started screeching, diving towards Waddles.

"LOOK OUT!" Willow yelled, all of us screaming. The pterodactyl dove at Stan and Waddles, missing them by inches. It landed on the tracks, causing them to bend and knock the two of them into the chasm.

"Oh no!" "Waddles!" "Grunkle Stan!" "Mr. Pines!" All of us yelled, watching them fall. They bounced off a mushroom and hit the ground, but thankfully kept moving. The pterodactyl flew past them, then came back up to the nest, dropping Stan's fez next to our feet.

"Guys! We gotta save them!" I yelled, grabbing Stan's fez and putting it on my head as we all backed against the side of the nest.

"McGucket, do you have something that can distract the pterodactyl?" Willow asked him.

"Do I!" He announced, taking his hat off and rummaging through it. After a few seconds, he stopped and looked up. "Nope."

"Everyone quiet," Dipper whispered, holding his hand up. We all shut up and heard a sound like a cracking egg. Turns out, it WAS a cracking egg. The pterodactyl egg that was in the middle of the nest started cracking and wiggling, then fell on its side. The top came off and a baby pterodactyl popped out, focusing its eyes on us.

"Awww!" Willow and I said simultaneously. Willow may be a total creeper, but baby animals are her kryptonite.

"Welcome to the world little fell-AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!" McGucket had started walking towards the baby, who had discovered its appetite. It picked up McGucket and swallowed him whole. Soos, Dipper and I all screamed while Willow fell back against the nest, staring blankly at the baby.

"Wills, you okay?" I asked her. It took a lot to make her react like that, and I could tell this had shaken her more than it should have.

"Did that thing _really_ just eat him alive? Cause that's just messed up!" She said, still not moving. The baby coughed up McGucket's hat, the clanging of metal finally bringing Willow out of it. She grabbed the hat (gross) just as the baby opened its mouth, McGucket peeking out.

"I'm okay!" He called happily, then added to Willow, "Anything you find in there is yours," before being swallowed back down. The three of us backed up to where Willow was crouching, already starting to sift through McGucket's hat.

"What do we do, what do we do!?" Dipper questioned. My plan was follow string, find Waddles, bring him home. The rest had been up to the others.

"There's nothing in here," Willow announced, slinging the hat over her shoulder.

"We have to get in a straight line," Soos announced, all of us looking towards him.

"What?" Dipper questioned, Soos starting to elaborate.

"The pterodactyl's eyes are so far apart that if you stand right in front of it, it can't see you," he explained. Made sense to me, but Dipper was still skeptical.

"Soos, you been wrong about stuff all day. How can we-"

"Dude, look," Soos interrupted. "I know I've messed up a lot. I can be sort of clumsy and it's not always as loveable as I think. But please, as my friend, just trust me on this." Dipper looked at us, then at the pterodactyl, then back to Soos and gave him one strong nod. "Get behind me dudes!"

We all stood up, trying to make ourselves as thin as possible. We made it onto the tracks, Willow in the lead, before the creature finally looked at us. I couldn't tell what it was seeing, but it didn't attack us, so I took that as a good sign. We had to change sides a few times when the creature turned its head, and there were a few close calls, but eventually we made it back to the other side. The baby turned around, and we all ran back to the rocks we had hid behind when we first came in here, sighing tiredly.

"Soos, you did it!" Dipper congratulated him. We all looked up when we heard a screech. The pterodactyl was circling around, someone sitting on its back. "Was that...?"

"Grunkle Stan?" I finished for him. Sure enough, Grunkle Stan was on the creatures back, punching it repeatedly. And on his chest was… "WADDLES!"

"He's punching it in the face!" Willow announced, all of us climbing out from behind the rocks.

"From hell's heart I stab at thee!" Grunkle Stan yelled, slamming both his fists into the creature's head, driving them down. The pterodactyl slammed into the side of the cliff, Grunkle Stan grabbing the edge. The creature fell into the chasm, Grunkle Stan pulling himself up. He had some major scratches on him, but looked fine aside from that. Waddles was still sitting in the Huggy Wuvvy Tummy Bundle on Grunkle Stan's chest, looking perfectly fine. Thank God they were both alive.

The others ran up to him, hugging and talking over each other a mile a minute. I walked up to them and they all got quiet, Grunkle Stan focusing on me. He walked over to me and took Waddles off his chest, handing him down.

"Here's you pig kiddo," he said, standing back up and cracking his back. I hugged Waddles and smiled at Grunkle Stan, forgiving him for putting Waddles outside in the first place.

"You saved him for me!" I told him as he took his fez back and put it on his head.

"Yeah, well, sometimes you just gotta…" he trailed off and peered over the edge of the cliff. "LOOK OUT!" He yelled as the pterodactyl climbed up. I put Waddles on the ground and we all started running back the way we came. We were able to gain ground, so the pterodactyl was a good ways behind us when we ran into the main cavern. It was then that we remembered that the rope had been cut.

"We're trapped!" Grunkle Stan yelled as the geyser went off. It actually went up through the hole in the floor.

"The geyser can shoot us back up!" Dipper yelled, all of us running into the geyser. We turned back to face the tunnel just as the pterodactyl showed up. "Come on, come on! Go, GO!" Dipper yelled at the geyser. The pterodactyl flew towards us, all of us screaming.

"BROS BEFORE DINOS!" Soos yelled, slamming his fists onto the side of the geyser. It erupted, the pterodactyl flying into the water. We flew up through the hole in the floor and made a new hole in the roof before falling back through. Waddles and I landed in the chandelier, Soos, Dipper and Willow popping out of a piano, Stan laying in a coffin, grabbing his heart. "Everyone okay?" Soos checked, reaching up to help me down.

"Yeah. Thanks buddy. That was amazing!" I said, as he put me on the floor. We all gathered around as the front part of the church collapsed in on its self, covering the hole in the floor. Willow walked over to the pile and dumped everything that was in McGucket's hat into her backpack, the put his hat on to of the pile before walking back out with us.

The three of them started talking to each other as I walked over to Grunkle Stan.

"I can't believe you did that for Waddles!" I told him, glad all of us could get along.

"Ah, well. I can't have my favorite niece not talking to me. And if I gotta leap onto a pterodactyl and punch it in the face, then that's what I gotta do."

"That's kinda sappy," I told him.

"W-what? That's how I feel!" He defended. I pointed to the hand he had just put in a glob of tree sap. "Oh yeah." He pulled his hand off the tree and stuck it on my face. I started laughing until Grunkle Stan said "Uh-oh" and we realized that his hand had gotten stuck to my face. He tried to pull it away a few times, but it didn't work, and we both started to scream.

 **Dipper's POV**

Waddles, Stan and Mabel, now separated but still sappy, were asleep in the backseat. Willow had wanted to be alone in the bed of the truck, and we weren't about to stop her. Soos was driving and I was sitting in the shotgun seat, looking at my vest.

"Check it out! That thing destroyed my vest!" I said. When we were running out of the tunnel, the pterodactyl had bit my vest, pulling half of the back off. I reached through the whole and found a tooth. "Soos, look!" I said, holding it out.

"A real dinosaur tooth? That's awesome!" He told me, turning back to the road.

"Not as awesome as you saving us back there. Pterodactyl bros?" I asked, holding my fist out.

"Pterodactyl bros." He said as we fist bumped. "Hey! I pronounced it right that time."

"Think we need to worry about the rest of those dinosaurs?"

"Doubt it," he said, me realizing he was right. Even if they did get loose I knew that we could fight them. And anyway, if all the craziness came back at once, I think they would be the least of our concerns.

* * *

 **Yes, I know what you're thinking. Willow's real name is NOT Willow. It's open season on guessing, but I'm telling you all now, you will have to wait until Last Mabelcorn to find out. Even if you guess I right before-hand, nothing will be confirmed until then.**

 **Now, this is the last chapter before the Q &A, and I'm typing this again; PLEASE send in more questions for the characters. You can ask anyone anything and it will be included. The only reason I have for not including a question is that it contains a spoiler for the future. Anyway, send in guesses, keep sending in questions, and I'll see you on the 15th.**


	17. Letters from Home I

**Hey guys! Thanks to those of you who sent in questions; this chapter is for you! And before I forget, I'm writing this in third person; just trying something new, so tell me what you think. But before we get into that, shout outs!**

 **Maximal7x13- I'm glad somebody picked up on the McGucket/Willow bonding I put in there. Their relationship is going to be interesting to write/see as the story progresses. And Willow's real name… I am not going to confirm anything, but I will say this. Her name is a real name that real people have. It is not something random or weird that I made up. Thanks for your review!**

 **Gamelover41592- Thanks for your review!**

 **Charr777- Thanks for your review/question. Everything helps! I made sure to put it in here.**

 **Cinnabon68- Thanks for your suggestion. I'm not saying it's bad, but I am saying that in some cases Dipper and Mabel's perspectives need to be shown in order for it to make sense. However, I will try to put more of the story in Willow's perspective from now on, which should be easy now that we are getting to the main part of the show and Willow won't be by herself that much. Thanks for the review/suggestion!**

 **Disclaimer: I only own Willow, Alex, and most of the responses to the questions. Anything that can be found online pertaining to this came from the mind of Alex Hirsch.**

* * *

"Hey Bullseye!" Alex Roberts called through the computer screen. His girlfriend, Willow Pines, smiled back at him as her sister snuck up behind her.

"Hi Alex!" Mabel called as Dipper pulled her away.

"Leave them alone," he told her.

"Actually, that's why I'm calling," Alex told the group. Seeing the confused looks on their faces, he elaborated. "I was able to catch up with some of my old friends from other bases, and I told them as much as I could about what is going on with you guys. I didn't know much, so they wanted to ask you guys some questions about what life is like up there. Is that cool?"

"I don't know," Dipper started. "I don't think it's a good idea for us to-"

"Bro, come on," Mabel interrupted him. "How bad can it be?" She asked, turning back to Alex.

"The questions aren't too bad or personal, but if you don't feel comfortable, I don't think my friends will care too much. So we good?" Alex confirmed.

"Yeah, we're in," Willow stated as her siblings grabbed two chairs and sat down behind her.

"Great. So I'll ask the questions and type out what your answers are, sound good?" When none of them said no, he took that as a confirmation and smiled. "Great. This first group of questions come from MyNameIsFlame. Mabel, about how many scrapbooks do you have?"

"I've never really counted," she realized, thinking about how she actually started. "Let's see… I started making them at three and wanted to make one a year, but I always lost three or four that were only half complete. So that would mean…" She trailed off, running through the numbers in her head even though the others had already figured it out for her.

"About 40," Willow stated, half to Alex and half to her sister, who shook her head.

"That's not it. It's around… bleventy-two," she stated proudly, the others shaking their heads are her silliness.

"Anyway, next question, still for Mabel. Which sweater is your favorite?"

"I can't just pick one!" She yelled, before staring at nothing again, sorting through her brain closet. "Top three are unicorn… shooting star… and the Waddles sweater," she decided.

"Thank you," Alex said, finishing typing before looking at his girlfriend. "Will, you're up. Aside from the crossbow, which of your projects is your favorite?"

"Actually, Stan's been making me fix up and make a lot of exhibits, so I haven't had that much time to do anything personal. Although I have been trying to make one of Blendin's Time Machines, but that's from like a bajillion years into the future so it's not going so well. One thing I have been working on is a live book for horror stories. I'm still trying to figure it out, but what's supposed to happen is that at random times when you turn the page, something scary that has to do with the plot pops up. Sorry I said a lot," she added, but Alex brushed her comment aside.

"No prob; I got the gist of it. Anyway, I already know the answer to this one, but I have to ask it anyway. How did we meet and when is our anniversary?"

"Easy. We met at the end of 6th grade. It was two weeks before school ended and you had just moved into town. The other students were getting restless so none of the teachers were worried about getting you situated, but you really weren't either. You mostly just hung out and didn't talk to anyone, then school was over and I mostly forgot about you.

"But then a few weeks into the summer I was doing target practice in the woods by our house. You tried to sneak up on me, but I heard you and put an arrow in the tree you were hiding behind. You walked out with your hands up and said 'Don't shoot me.'"

"And then you said 'Don't tempt me,'" Alex interjected.

"Then I realized that I knew you and asked what you wanted, and you said Ranger training."

"I knew your real name wasn't Willow, and when I saw you making bullseye after bullseye, and that jacket you are always wearing, I realized that you weren't just a horror fan, but a Ranger's Apprentice fan too. I had read all the books, but was never able to practice archery, so when I ran into you, I figured what was the harm in asking."

"Then I shot an arrow over your shoulder and into the tree behind you."

"You split the first one you had fired in half."

"That was unintentional. But it got my point across. You took off like Orlog was chasing you. But on your birthday you came back with your throwing knife. Gotta give you credit for that. Anyway, I decided to give you a chance for a week, and it was impressive enough that we kept going. Soon we started hanging not during practice.

"August 11th I showed up at our practice clearing and you had set up a bunch of lights and speakers. You gave me the new Maze Runner book that I had wanted. It was about to come out anyway, but an advanced copy signed by James Dashner was extra special. Then you hit a button and Cabin in the Trees started playing. We started dancing and you kissed me."

"Best day of my life. And you agreeing to teach me was the best birthday present ever."

"Speaking of birthday presents, yours is coming up. I'll be sending out your gift tomorrow," Willow told her boyfriend, who shook his head.

"Return it. I don't want a gift; I just want you," Alex stated, earning an aww from Mabel.

"Who cares about all that relationship stuff?" Dipper, who had been quiet up until that point, finally interjected. "Can you just ask me a question already?"

"Are you into creative writing?" Dipper, who had been expecting something relatively easy and basic, stopped for a few seconds, considering his response.

"Honestly, I've never really thought about it that much. But now that you mention it, I think I could make a living writing about some of the things we've seen this summer. Hell, I could probably make a fortune making and selling copies of the journal," Dipper answered, thinking about whether that could actually work or not.

"Thank you," Alex said, glancing at the next question. "This next one is specified to Dipper, but I don't think they would care if the rest of you answer. What journal creatures/objects do you still want to meet/find?"

"Are there unicorns in there?" Mabel perked up instantly, babbling excitedly. "I haven't read it so I don't know but if there are I wanna go find them! When can we go see them!?"

"Mabel, calm down!" Willow yelled, she and Dipper grabbing their sister's shoulders. "The journal didn't say anything about unicorns, but that doesn't mean they don't exist. Okay?" Mabel nodded, pouting slightly as Willow turned back to the screen. "One of the things I've been wanting to look into is the cursed doors that were mentioned."

"Those are cool," Dipper added, sitting back down, the journal in hand. "I've also wanted to check out something called the Hide-Behind, but I'm still trying to get more info. There are a few other things I wanna look into, as soon as I have time. And I think this kind of goes without saying, but we all want to find out who the author is."

"You guys should really record some of these adventures you go on. People would love to see some of them. Let's see… next question for all of you. Before this summer, or in Will's case, met me, have you had any crushes on other people?"

"Robert Drake, Isaiah Hall, Matt Wilson, Bud Jones…" Mabel started listing, counting them off on her fingers. A few names later, Alex stopped typing.

"I give up on her. You two?"

"There was a girl in kindergarten named Lydia, and we 'dated' for a few weeks," Dipper said, putting air quotes around dated. "But I don't really count that because we were like six. We still talk once in a while, but there's nothing there."

"…Malcom Ware, Noah Montgomery, Liam Durant, Griffin Robins…" Mabel was still listing, not even half through the list.

"Thanks Brainiac. Will, you're up."

"…Sammy Burke, Nathan Parker, Eli Williams…" Mabel continued, her sister glancing at her before answering.

"There was one guy named Lucas between fifth and sixth grade who I hung out with most of the summer. His family was staying with relatives for the summer, but he ended up going to school in San Francisco, so we don't talk much anymore."

"…Zach Wright, Greg Parrish, Justin Kellogg, Roy Truman-"

"Mabel, that's enough! We stopped paying attention after Bud!" Dipper yelled, covering his sister's mouth with his hand, and promptly pulling it back three seconds later. "MABEL!"

"Works every time!" She announced proudly as Dipper wiped the saliva off his hand. "Alex, next question!"

"These next few are actually for me. They are: How long has Dad been in the military, where have I lived before Piedmont, and anywhere in the world I would want to live."

"I know most of these!" Willow announced proudly. Her memory wasn't the best when it came to these sort of things. "You're Dad has been in the military for 13-"

"15," Alex interjected.

"...Years," Willow continued, as if Alex had never interrupted. "You were born in Dallas-"

"Houston."

"…Lived there until age two, then went to Buffalo."

"NYC after 9/11."

"You moved to New Orleans after Hurricane Katrina, and lived there until you came to Piedmont. And if you could live anywhere in the world, it would be London."

"Sydney. The only thing in that that was accurate was New Orleans." Alex said, giving his girlfriend a look through the screen.

"Oh. Umm… How about we move on to the next question?" She asked, laughing nervously and (failing to) inconspicuously pull a pen and notebook from her jacket. Alex rolled his eyes and read the next question.

"Those are it from MyNameIsFlame. These next three come from MyFavLineIs. What are your parents/grandparents' names?"

"Our parents are Bradley and Elizabeth Pines. Our Mom's parents are Kira and Tyler. Our Dad's Parents are Lauren and Shermy, who is Grunkle Stan's younger brother," Mabel explained; her scrapbooking had gotten her more in touch with the family history than her siblings.

"Huh. So Bradley and Elizabeth are your middle names," Alex commented, typing out the information he had been told while saying the full names of his friends in his mind. "Those have a nice ring to them. Anyway, next question to Dipper. When is Wendy's birthday?"

"January 20, 1997," Dipper answered automatically, a confused look coming over his face afterwards. "Why didn't they ask Wendy that?"

"I don't know. There wouldn't have been a problem with it, but you knew the answer anyway, and did you really want Wendy to be here for some of these?"

"Fair point. Next question," Dipper conceded.

"How old is Stan?"

"69; turns 70 on June 15th," Willow replied, looking up from her notebook to glance at her siblings. "We were in town that day. Why didn't we do anything for it?"

"Well for one, we had only been in town a day or two," Dipper reminded her. "Also, that was the day we found the journal, so it wasn't like we could have done anything even if we wanted too."

"Fair enough. So are there any more questions?"

"Just one, from Charr777, and it's for all of you. What is/was your favorite mystery/creature you've solved or found so far this summer?"

Dipper and Willow both started flipping through the parts of the journal that they had written, talking over each other while Mabel answered the question first.

"The first incident with Gideon was pretty cool. Even though he ended up being an evil maniac and almost killed my siblings, it was still pretty fun being able to use that Force amulet. Aside from that, winning Waddles and the whole time travel thing was pretty cool too."

"Thanks Mabel. They ready yet?" Willow and Dipper we both still flipping through the journal, but after a few more seconds, they both pulled back and looked at the screen.

"I'm sorry, but I can't pick one event I liked over another. Although the wax figure thing was pretty fun since it was the first real mystery we tried to solve," Dipper responded first, Alex typing out his response before looking at Willow.

"Looks like you're the last one Will."

"My favorite thing was probably hunting the Gremloblin. Yes, it almost killed us, which happens a lot," she added to her sister. "But it was still fun capturing it. And the fact that the author, whoever he is, had such a hard time with the creature, and we were able to bag him relatively easy definitely boosted my ego. But I do still want to put an arrow through him for writing the 'don't use water' thing the way he did."

"What about when the pterodactyl took Waddles; you and McGucket- ooohhh…" Mabel trailed off as she remembered what had happened, but then perked up as Willow started smiling.

"I went in town and saw him back in the junkyard. I don't know how he survived being digested, but he did, so I'm not complaining. Alex, did you… what?" Alex was staring at them through the screen, not moving an inch. "Alex, you okay?"

"Are you?" he responded, coming out of his daze, a protective fire in his eyes. "Being almost killed _repeatedly, willingly_ hunting a creature that whoever wrote the journals had a hard time controlling, some friend of yours surviving being digested by a pterodactyl, which, last time I checked, have been extinct for 65 _million_ years!"

"Yeah, so?" She asked, not fazed by the situations she had been in. Although Alex seemed to think it was a big deal.

"SO!? You could have been killed!" He yelled, Dipper and Mabel taking their cue to leave the room. "And where would we be now?!"

"Alex, calm down! I'm fine!" Willow responded, trying to make sure he didn't break something in his room. But her response only made him angrier.

"No you're not! Did you lose a few brain cells? The Willow I knew was a rebel, but she didn't go out searching for something that could kill her!"

"And the Alex I knew would have supported me when I did stupid things and not start yelling like a crazy person! I can handle myself, and you know that!"

"I knew that when we were together in Piedmont and there was almost nothing to worry about! Now you're in a strange town living in a forest that is hiding God knows what, and I'm stuck up here where I can't be with you!"

They both stopped as they realized what the problem was. Alex wasn't really mad about Willow looking for dangerous creatures. He was mad that he wasn't there to protect her. And yes, she could handle herself, but Alex had been born with the need to protect his family from any harm, and Willow was covered in that category.

"Sorry I yelled," he whispered, the fire in his eyes cooling to heated coals. "I'm just mad that I won't be with you back home anymore."

"I know you are, and I'm mad about it too. But a friend told me that we would be able to overcome anything that happened to us, so don't worry about me. Together or apart, we will both be fine." Alex nodded and turned back to his list of questions as Dipper and Mabel re-entered the room.

"You okay?" Mabel whispered to Willow as she sat down. Her sister nodded and all three of them looked at Alex, who had finally gotten his emotions back under control.

"Sorry about that. Let's just finish this and then I'll see you guys soon. Anyone have any last comments about anything?"

"Love all you guys and gals who sent in questions. This was a lot of fun, even if things did get a bit tense," Mabel responded, glancing at her sister and her sister's boyfriend pointedly.

"If you guys liked this, it would be cool to do again," Dipper added, actually meaning it, the doubts he had at the beginning all but gone.

"Anything else?" Alex asked, looking at Willow. She nodded then added to her sibling's final comments, talking slowly so Alex could get everything down.

"Anybody out there who is going through something, you are not alone. There is someone out there who will help you find light in even the darkest of places. Hold them close, hold your family closer, and remember; no matter how bad things get, you're gonna be fine."

And with that, she ended the video chat and closed the lid of the laptop.

* * *

 **Okay. I know things got a little heated there, but Alex was just worried that he wouldn't be able to be there for Willow down the road. Anyway, I hope you guys liked this. If you did, but you didn't send in questions, don't worry. I have another Q &A planned between Last Mabelcorn and Pines vs. Future. If you have any questions, I'm already open to them. Send them in! Or just review; it's up to you. Next time we're back to the actual show, and the chaos is about to begin. Brace yourselves and I'll see you Halloween weekend!**

 **PS: I used a random name generator for the names of Mabel's pre-summer ex-crushes. Similarities in the names of people, real or fictional, are purely coincidental, and I apologize if I have stepped on anybody's toes.**

 **PPS: I have written my own version of the song Cabin in the Trees. Any RA fans out there who want to see the lyrics, PM and I'll send them to you.**


	18. Dreamscaperers

**First off, HAPPY HALLOWEEN! I just had to get that out of the way. Now this is a VERY special chapter, not just for me, but Fallers worldwide. It is special for Fallers because it is the episode that started the main mystery, so it seems appropriate that I release this episode Halloween weekend.**

 **This episode is the most important one for me. Long story short, I was visiting family and my little cousins turned the show on, and it happened to be this episode, and… here we are. I can't believe it guys. 8 months ago when I started this story and the show ended, I have been waiting to give you all this chapter and get into the main part of the show. Things are going to start getting interesting. But before we dive head-first straight into chaos, I have shout-outs to do!**

 **Gamelover41592- Thanks for the review! Hopefully you will send in some questions next time!**

 **Maximal7x13- Thanks for the review! It took me a little time to figure out how to answer the questions and not break the forth wall too much, but I got it, so I'm glad it worked out. I did google catalyst, so I'm pretty sure you used it correctly. Don't worry about the trying to sound smart thing; that just makes you more like Dipper!**

 **Skitty- Thanks for your review! I have an original chapter planned for their anniversary, so that should give you a bit more. It's kind of why I was a bit vague with the details of their actual anniversary; giving you something to look forward to. My plan is to re-write the fight scene in D &M vs. Future to make it more like an actual fight than Mabel getting upset and running off. All that disconnectedness is leading up to that time, and I think you will like what I have planned. And I've said this before: Now that we are in the main part of the show, things are going to get interesting.**

 **Charr17- Bud, that wasn't your fault. Someone else sent in that same question, but it was specified to Dipper. I was going to have that happen anyways. Totally not your fault! And each relationship will have problems sooner or later; it was only a matter of time. Thanks for your review!**

 **Lula Bear the awesome- Thanks for your review! I'll go into a bit more detail later when I write their anniversary chapter, but until then, hopefully that is enough to keep you happy!**

 **Onsie- Thanks for your review! The reason she was freaked out during inconveniencing wasn't just because of the ghosts. It was also a bit of claustrophobia and not knowing who/what was making the events happen and why. As for what they see in each other; Alex likes Willow's creepiness and impulsiveness, and Willow likes Alex's calmness and serenity. They balance each other out. Hope that makes sense and that you can see it!**

 **Disclaimer: I don't own anything except my OC's. Gravity Falls and its characters, including Bill Cipher, came from the mind of Alex Hirsch.**

* * *

 **Dipper's POV (Friday, July 13th)**

I'm not superstitious, but this Friday the 13th wasn't starting out so well. There were no tours to keep us busy, and we couldn't go outside and do anything. The reason? It was POURING out. This was the first substantial rain we had had since we came up here, but there was almost nothing for us to do. It was only nine in the morning and we had only been up for like an hour, but we were already bored out of our minds.

The three of us were playing Chinese Checkers. Well, two of us were playing; Mabel had stolen all her pieces and was playing a weird version of marbles with them. Willow and I were almost done when Stan called us downstairs.

"Kids! I need you to laugh at this with me!" He said, pointing at the TV. Gideon was floating through the sky and singing.

"Who's cute as a button and always your friend? Lil' G-I-D to the E-O-N! Wink!" And then he winked and I mentally face-palmed.

"That kid will never leave us alone, will he?" I asked rhetorically. Ever since the Shrink Ray incident, we could barely go a day without having to kick him out of the building.

"Not unless I use him as a target and make him look like a porcupine," Willow replied. If she did want to do that, I don't think any of us would stop her.

"Remember when I wouldn't date him and he tried to destroy us?" Mabel asked.

"Technically he only tried to destroy me and Dip, but yeah," Willow replied.

"He's always trying to trick me into losing the Mystery Shack," Stan added. The stupid people in Gravity Falls made a law called Finders Keepers. Long story short, whoever had the deed to a property owned it, no matter what the deed itself said. It made it easy to buy/sell property, but when someone was willing to kill to get a property, it became a pain in the neck.

"One time I caught him stealing my moisturizer," Wendy added, she and Soos walking into the room. The driveway had gotten majorly flooded, so they were both stuck here, but that wasn't anything majorly weird. They hung out here so much that they had started leaving a change of clothes here for if they ended up spending the night.

"And yet, our mutual hatred for him bonds us together," Soos finished as Bud Gleeful did the VO.

"Come on down to Li'l Gideon's Tent of Telepathy, opening soon at this location." The shack came on the screen, then Gideon's tent fell from the sky and crushed it.

"Should we be worried about that?" I asked, not that concerned.

"The only way Gideon's taking over this place is by breaking in and stealing my deed," Stan assured me. I shrugged. Gideon had been trying to take over for weeks now. If he hadn't been able to yet, there was no way that-

 _CRASH!_ Something very loud came from down the hall. "Not again," Stan sighed, standing up. Soos went into the kitchen as the rest of us followed Stan to his office. He threw the door open and, sure enough, Gideon had broken the window and was trying different combos to Stan's safe. "Gideon!" Stan yelled as Soos caught up to us.

"Stanford, my arch-nemesis. We seem to have entered a dangerous game of cat and mouse. But the question remains; Who is the cat, and who is the-"

"Soos, broom," Stan ordered, taking the broom from Soos' hand and walking into his office. He started hitting Gideon with the broom, Gideon hissing like a cat each time. Eventually, Stan got behind him and started pushing him out the door into the rain.

"You mark my words Stanford! One day I'm gonna get that combination! And once I steal the deed, you'll never see the Mystery Shack again!"

"Good luck bucko!" Stan replied, slamming the door and giving Soos the broom back before walking into his office, the girls and I behind him. We turned around as he put the combo in; we had asked for it before, but he had refused saying 'the less people who know, the better,' so we didn't push him on it.

"Clear kids," he told us. We turned around and saw the deed sitting in the safe, along with a few other papers. Probably just his birth certificate and businessman papers. He closed the door and hit lock, then stood up and turned back to us. "Don't worry about that kid. The combo is in the one place he'll never find it: my brain." If I had learned anything this summer, it was that Stan is stubborn as a mule, and it would take something gigantic for him to reveal his secrets.

Half an hour later, we were all back to being bored. It had gotten so bad that we had willinglysat down to watch some of Stan's old movies. Even though none of us besides him were really watching it. Wendy and I were lazily firing Nerf guns at each other, Willow was messing with a Rubik's Cube (her record was 30 seconds) and Mabel was curled up with Waddles.

The movie that was in right now was _Grandpa the Kid,_ some old cowboy movie from the 60's. "I'm tired during the day," Grandpa the Kid announced, Mabel waking up a bit.

"I can relate to this," Stan said as Mabel pulled out one of her favorite movies.

"Grunkle Stan, can't we watch a movie we'll all enjoy? Like _Dream Boy High!_ 'Where love is on your permanent record!'' The four of us booed; At least Stan's movies were good for their time period. Mabel kept smiling. "You'll learn to like it," she assured us as something crashed in the kitchen.

"Dudes!" Soos yelled, running into the room. "There's a bat in the kitchen! It tried to touch me with it's weird little bat fingers!"

"Don't worry, I got this under control," Stan said, then put the back of his chair down. "Dipper, take care of it."

"Why can't the girls to it?" I asked. It wasn't that I didn't want to do it… okay I didn't, but anything was better than nothing. But Stan always made me do dumb things around the house and was easy on the girls. And yes, sometimes it wasn't so bad; it did lead me to the journal almost a month ago, but still; it was ALWAYS me!

"Because life isn't fair. Now go fight a bat so we can watch TV." That was it; I was done.

"No way Grunkle Stan! You always make me do dumb chores. I'm putting my foot down this time!" I yelled, stomping for emphasis.

"I said do it kid. NOW!" We both stared staring at each other, and eventually Stan won.

"Fine, I'll do it," I relented, walking towards the kitchen, Mabel behind me and Willow walking towards her workshop. I pick up a frying pan and a spoon, mumbling to myself. Mabel came up and stood back-against-the-wall by the doorway.

"Remember, bats are more afraid of you than you are of them," she told me. I shrugged and walked into the kitchen, eyes open for the bat. It came at me from behind and I started running around, bumping into everything and making a mess, getting scratched and bruised the whole time. This Friday the 13th REALLY wasn't going all that well.

 **Willow's POV**

The rain had stopped, so the bat had left when Wendy opened the door to head home; Stan had cancelled everything for the day, so she took off. I had grabbed the first aid kit that I kept in my workshop for Dipper, who had gotten scratched up pretty bad. Soos was using the disinfectant and Mabel and I were bandaging him up, which was hard because he kept flinching every time Soos touched him.

"It stings!" He complained as we finished up.

"You'll be glad for it when whatever diseases that bat had don't infect you," I replied, closing the kit.

"Why does Grunkle Stan always pick on me?" He asked, continuing before we could answer; he always did that when he was mad about something. "Think about it! The more painful or difficult the chore is, the more likely I'll have to do it. Why doesn't he pick on you guys?"

"Dipper, Stan's personality of one of life's great mysteries," Soos said, sounding pretty philosophical. Then the normal him came back. "Like whether or not it's possible to lick your own elbow."

"Bet you can't!" Mabel jumped excitedly.

"Bet I can!" Soos replied, trying to do so. They both started walking outside. I put the kit back in my workshop before following them out. Dipper would want to be alone, and chances were high that they would get lost because they weren't paying attention.

We walked a pretty far ways out. I had never seen this area of the forest before. It was pretty cool, but I felt like we were being watched. It probably didn't help that Mabel had been chanting the entire time and I had left my crossbow at home. Thank god Soos eventually gave up. "Like the infinite horizon, it eludes my grasp," he stated.

"Let's head back; this place gives me the creeps," Mabel said, looking around for the first time.

"You guys are lucky I was paying-" An all too familiar laughter came from off to our right behind some bushes. "Not Gideon again!"

We all walked over and peered through the bushes. Gideon was on his knees in front of a bunch of candles and a picture of Stan, the eyes crossed out. He was saying the same gibberish over and over, almost like a chant. "What's he doing?" Mabel whispered.

"Shush," I whispered back, not wanting to miss a second of this. All of a sudden, the entire forest turned gray, us and Gideon the only things in color. Things started slowing down; literally. A frog and some butterflies that were by us froze in midair.

Something exploded in the air about ten feet up. Small beams of light were circling a white triangle that was getting bigger. Once it reached its full size, maybe three feet per side, small flames lit around the edges of it, the inside showing space. Laughter seemed to be coming from everywhere, but none of us were laughing.

 _Oh God_ , I thought as an eye appeared towards the top of the triangle, the pupil like that of a cats. Soos and Mabel hunched down and Gideon stepped back, but I kept staring, praying it wasn't what, or _who,_ I thought it was.

"Crap." All at once, the way back home disappeared and my entire mind went blank as the flames disappeared and the triangle went from showing space too solid black. There were white outlines of three rows of bricks coming from the base. A bow tie appeared just under _his_ eye, a top hat floated just above _his_ head, and skinny arms and legs had appeared.

The word nachos flashed in my head as the triangle went from black and white too yellow and black and floated down towards Gideon. "Oh, Gravity Falls! It is good to be back! Name's Bill Cipher, and I take it you're some kind of living ventriloquist dummy?" He asked Gideon, the slight hope I had had that I was wrong gone after he confirmed what I had thought; Bill Cipher had returned. Bill Cipher laughed and answered his own question. "I'm just kidding. I know who you are Gideon."

"W-What are you? H-How do you know my name?" Gideon asked. The idiot summoned something without knowing what it was? I thought he was smarter than that!

"Oh, I know lots of things!" Bill Cipher replied, a blue light coming from behind him. His body started flashing different images as his voice dropped a few octaves and he repeated "LOTS OF THINGS!" Then the light disappeared and his body and voice returned too normal.

"Look what I can do!" He said excitedly. He gestured to a deer that was nearby and pulled all of the teeth out of its mouth, teleporting them to Gideon's hands. "Deer teeth! For you kid!"

"You're insane!" Gideon yelled, dropping the teeth on the ground.

"Sure I am. What's your point?" Bill Cipher asked, putting the teeth back in the deer's mouth. Gideon seemed to have gotten over his shock because he started barking orders like he normally does.

"Listen to me demon! I have a job for you! I need you to enter the mind of Stanford Pines and steal the code to his safe!"

 _Shit!_ Bill Cipher's laughter stopped as he realized what Gideon had said. "Wait… Stan Pines?" He turned away from all of us, his body going staticy. I couldn't see what he was showing, but it couldn't be good. After a few seconds he turned back to face us. "You know what kid? You've convinced me. I'm sold! I'll help you with this and in return you can help me with something I've been working on. We'll work out the details later."

"Deal!" Gideon replied, holding his hand out. Bill Cipher made blue flame come from his hand before he and Gideon shook, finalizing the deal.

"Well, time to invade Stan's mind! This should be fun!" Bill Cipher stated, floating back above us, a blue light coming from behind him. "Remember: reality is an illusion, the universe is a hologram, buy gold, BBBBBBYYYYYYYYYEEEEEEEE!" He turned solid black and disappeared.

I opened my eyes and saw that the color had returned and the animals that were near us had become unfrozen. I looked through the bushes and my blood ran cold again as Gideon said, "It worked," and started laughing evilly, proving that it hadn't just been some crazy dream.

I took a few steps backwards then turned around and took off towards where I knew town would be. Mabel and Soos ran after me, yelling for me to stop and explain, but I ignored them, focused on getting back to the shack as quick as possible.

It had just started raining again when we got to the edge of town and I finally started to slow down. "Snacks!" I heard Soos call from behind me, so I ran towards the vending machines that were close by. As impatient as I was to get back, arriving out of breath is not a good idea.

"Okay, what the hell is going on?" Mabel asked as Soos walked up to the vending machine. "That reaction was a lot more than what was called for."

"Gid-Gideon summoned B-Bill Ci-Cipher," I explained, still trying to wrap my head around it. "The author has history with that… that creature. According to him, Bill Cipher is pure evil and should be avoided at all costs. I don't know how Gideon knew how to summon him, but he did and he's going after Grunkle Stan. We have to get back. Now."

We took off again, running through the rain before re-entering the forest. Now that we knew which direction we were heading, we were willing to take a shortcut through the woods. Eventually the shack came into sight. Throwing cation to the wind, we ran through the door and into the living room, Mabel and Soos in the lead; If my reaction had been bad, Dipper's would be ten times worse, and I didn't think I could handle telling him. Stan was sleeping peacefully in his chair. Dipper was there sweeping, but looked up as we barged in, sensing our anxiety.

"Dip, we gotta help Stan!" Mabel yelled before bending over to catch her breath.

"Back up. What's the hell is going on?"

"This evil triangle guy," Soos explained, still eating his Burrito Bites, "Said he's gonna break into Stan's mind and steal the code to his safe! Also we stopped for snacks on the way here."

Dipper froze and the broom fell to the ground, his skin getting at least three shades paler. "T-T-Triangle guy? Wills…" He trailed off and looked at me.

"Nachos," I whispered, barely loud enough to hear. He freaked out and almost ripped his vest as he tried to pull the journal out, whispering a few curses the whole time. He eventually found the right page and started reading out loud.

"'Beware Bill! The most powerful and dangerous creature I've ever encountered.' Blah, blah, blah. 'Whatever you do, never let him into your mind.'" Stan grunted and started twitching in his sleep.

"Grunkle Stan!" Mabel yelled. His twitches started getting worse and his eyes flew open, glowing blue. I grabbed the journal out of Dipper's hands and started reading.

"'It is possible to follow the demon into a person's mind and prevent his chaos. One must simply recite this incantation.'"

"This is just great. I spend all day cleaning sinks and fighting bats for Stan and now I have to save him from some crazy brain demon?" Dipper asked, taking the journal from me. Mabel got right up in his face.

"If we don't do anything Gideon will take the shack, or worse, and I KNOW you want to stay here as long as possible!" We all turned back to Stan as he screamed a bit, Dipper relenting.

"Fine, but only for the sake of the rest of summer. Get ready guys. We're about to journey into the most horrifying, disturbing place any of us have ever been; our uncle's mind."

Five minutes later, we were ready to go in. We had a bunch of candles on the ground in a half circle around Stan, the flames the only light. I was bringing my crossbow with me; going in empty-handed would be suicide. The other's each had a Nerf gun with them, just in case.

"Everyone ready?" Dipper asked. We all nodded, wanting to get this over with as soon as possible. "Then let's do this." We all reached out and put our hands on Stan's head, Dipper reading the incantation. "Videntis Omnium. Magister Mentium. Magnesium Ad Hominem. Magnum Opus. Habeas Corpus. Inceptus Nolanus Overratus! Magister Mentium! Magister Mentium! MAGISTER MENTIUM!" Then everything went white.

 **Dipper's POV**

Just an FYI, that incantation roughly translates to: _Confidence of all. Master of the Mind. Magnesium to man. Great work. May you have the body. Inception by Nolan is overrated! Master of the mind! Master of the mind! MASTER OF THE MIND!_

It was the weirdest thing I've ever felt, and I've been telekinetically manipulated, traveled through time, got shrunk and swapped bodies with my sister, so my saying it was weird is saying A LOT. You know how when you are almost asleep, but then feel like you're falling? It felt like that, but ten times worse because we couldn't wake up and stop it. And when we did wake up, it was that confused feeling like when after you have a dream that could happen and you believe the events actually did happen, and you have to convince yourself that it was a dream. It felt like that, and the weirdest part was having to remind myself that we were technically asleep. Pretty sure I was gonna have a headache when this was over.

Stan's mind was interesting to say the least. We were standing outside the shack, everything different shades of gray. The signs on top of the shack weren't in their right place, and the boards that it was built out of were coming apart. Everything inside the shack had been thrown around outside, including Stan's favorite chair, which was leaning against the pole of an old, two-person swing-set with one of the seats broken.

"Whoa," Soos said, which pretty much summed up what we were all feeling.

"Okay guys," Willow said, turning around to face us. "We don't know what it's going to be like in there, so we stay together, and look out for Bill Cipher."

"Yeah, look out for Bill Cipher!" Willow whirled around and froze as Bill floated onto the porch, twirling a cane around his wrist. I can safely say that the drawing of him in the journal didn't do him justice. Seeing him in his normal form with full color… It was creepy, especially considering he didn't have a mouth and yet was still talking. I didn't like not being able to see someone's emotions.

"You leave our Grunkle alone you monster!" Mabel yelled, running towards him. She dove, but he just grew another foot or two and let her go through his stomach. Willow fired, but the bolt went right through him before Mabel came tumbling back out, her arms crossed. "GOTCHA! Wait, what?" We all turned to face him, watching as he floated back to the porch.

"Ah, Stan's family, we meet at last! Question Mark, Shooting Star, Oak Leaf, Pine Tree. I had a hunch I might run into you!" He made a finger gun and shot two red lazer beams out of his finger. The first one vaporized Willow's crossbow, making her freak out. The second one flew right at me and burned a hole through my chest. Not having internal organs is a weird feeling.

"What do you want with Stan's mind anyway?" I asked him, calming down a bit.

"Nothing much; just the code to the old man's safe! Inside that shack is a maze of thousands of doors representing his memories. Behind one of them is the memory of him setting the code! I just need to find it and Gideon will pay me handsomely!"

"Not if we stop you!" The girls yelled at the same time, making him laugh.

"Fat chance! I'm the master of the mind!" He yelled, blue flame coming from somewhere. "I even know what you girls are thinking right now!"

"That's impossible!" Mabel yelled. Bill snapped and the two boys from her _Dream Boy High_ movie appeared, giving Mabel compliments. "I'm never letting go of your leg!" Mabel yelled, grabbing the leg of the blue-haired boy. Bill turned to Willow, who was standing defiantly.

"As for you, you're gonna be trouble. Right now you're wanting that little toy of yours back. How's about this instead?" Bill snapped again and a familiar face appeared right next to Willow.

"Hey Oak Leaf," the fake Alex greeted, leaning in towards Willow. She leaned back and glared at Bill.

"I know what game you're trying to play here. Showing us what we want to throw us off. There's no way you're gonna get away with this."

"You say that now. I know what I'm doing. You kids are out of your league. I was you, I'd turn around now before you see something you might regret. Later suckers!" He tipped his hat and flew backwards, crashing through the wall of the dream-shack.

"We're going in," I announced, leading the way in. The inside of the building looked weird, but this time it was a cool weird. Like everything else, the entire space was gray. There were a bunch of floating staircases leading up to different doors. The doors were labeled by category, so hopes and fears (which was a wooden crate with chains locked over it) were separate from the memories.

"This place is cool looking," Willow stated as we walked through the memory door.

"I'm sure there are plenty of memories of Stan bossing me around," I muttered. Mabel got in my face again.

"What did I tell you? Just drop it! Priorities bro! We have to find the code before Bill does!"

"She's right," Willow stated before facing the group. "If we all stay together we have no chance. Split up, but stay close, and no one goes anywhere alone. Let's go!" Soos and I teamed up, Mabel and her boys taking the right while we took the left, Willow and 'Alex' heading down to the end of the hall and working their way back to us.

I opened the first door I came too. A younger Stan was sitting on a bench in a jail cell, two other inmates on either side of him. "Jorge, Rico, you're the two best Colombian prison friends a fella could make," Young Stan said, putting his hand on the other's shoulders. They said some Spanish to each other, and even though I didn't know what it was, it didn't sound nice. I shrugged and moved onto the next door.

We explored for a good 20 minutes, not finding anything about the safe, but there were some memories that were pretty interesting. Great-Grandpa Filbrick yelling at Stan for wearing Groucho Marx glasses to his Bar Mitzvah. Stan watching Cash Wheel on his birthday. Lots of things with the broken swing-set we had seen outside. One that was kind of sweet was Stan teaching Soos, maybe 13 years old, how to box. Soos had gotten kind of emotional, but the next one was probably the most shocking.

"Guys, you might want to see this," Willow called us over, holding open a relatively small door. We all peered inside and saw a place somewhere in Vegas. "He was _married_ to _her?!"_ Stan was probably 30, and the woman he was with was… _whoa!_ She was… you know what, I can't describe her without it sounding weird. But men would kill to have a life with her!

"Stan Pines, do you take Marilyn Rosenstein to be your wife?" The Justice of the Peace asked.

"I do," Stan replied, the two of the kissing before the Justice could tell them to. The memory went staticy for a few seconds before clearing, showing Stan in and office sitting across from someone, files between them.

"I'm sorry Mr. Pines. Marilyn is a scam artist. She only married you so she could take your car," the official told Stan. The memory went staticy again, so Willow closed the door and we walked on. At some point we had gotten back into one big group, so when I saw the door labeled "Dipper Memories" all of them told me to move on.

"I just wanna know what the old guy really thinks of me," I told them, figuring this was the best way to do it.

"We already know how Grunkle Stan feels about us! He loves us! We're great," Mabel said, all of them continuing down the hall. I followed for a few feet, but then doubled back and slipped through the door.

"Just a quick peek," I told myself, walking down the hallway. Stan's voice calling my name echoed all around me. I shrugged and opened a door. Stan and I were standing on the porch, Stan yelling at me.

"No buts! Now go chop that firewood already!" He wacked my head with a rolled-up newspaper. I walked over to the chopping block (why he wanted firewood in the middle of summer was beyond me) and started cutting as he sat down on the couch he kept outside.

"Stan, I've been meaning to ask you. Why are you so hard on Dipper all the time?" Soos asked Stan.

"Soos, I'm gonna let you in on something. Wanna know what I really think?" Stan started whispering, and I leaned in a bit more to hear what he was saying. "…The kid's a loser. He's weak! He's an utter embarrassment! I just wanna get rid of him."

I closed the door and started walking back to find the group. If they wanted to find the code they could go ahead, but I couldn't care less anymore. If Stan didn't even want me here, then I wouldn't make it harder on him to get rid of me.

 **Willow's POV**

"Okay guys, I've got a good feeling about this door," Mabel stated, putting her hand on a door marked "Top Secret." She opened the door, giving all of us nightmares.

Stan was in his boxers in the bathroom. "Hey Mr. Tummy!" He said, changing his voice and making his belly button talk. "Hey Mr. Stan!" He went back to his normal voice. "Are you hungry?" "Yes!" He said that as his tummy before feeding it crackers.

"Sweet Sally!" Mabel announced, slamming the door shut.

"We've been searching forever! What if the triangle guy finds the memory before we do?" Soos asked, looking around as if mentioning his name might bring him to us.

"If we wanna find Stan's memory we gotta think like him," I realized. "He's always hiding stuff."

"Yeah, like how he hides his arrest warrants under the rug in the gift shop!" Soos supplied. I nodded then glanced around and saw the same rug.

"Soos, that's it!" 'Alex' and I bent down and pulled the rug back, revealing a door that looked more like a tree house entrance. Everyone crowed in and I pulled the door open.

Stan kissed the deed before putting it into the safe. "There ya go," he said, closing the door. "And now to set the code. 13… 44… and finally-" I closed the door before we could learn the entire thing. Half of us were made by Bill, and like Stan said; the less people who knew, the better. But that didn't stop me from wondering. My guess was 48.

"What do we do now? Jinx!" Mabel's boys said. God, they were getting annoying!

"Let's just destroy the door before Bill finds it!" Mabel said, glancing around.

"On it!" 'Alex' yelled, running to a suit of armor that was nearby and taking the battle ax from its hands. He ran back over and was about to bring the ax down when Soos stopped him.

"Maybe I should do it! My big fat arms are great at destroying stuff!"

"Okay," he said, taking a step back. Biggest mistake EVER! Soos held his hand out over the door, a blue light coming from it. After a few seconds, the door came up out of the floor and started floating above Soos' head.

"Hey guys!" Another Soos came running up, completely oblivious to his clone. "I just saw a memory of Stan rolled skating and wearing short-shorts! Didn't look half bad." Then he realized he LITERALLY was talking to himself. "Something weird is going on here."

The first Soos started laughing, his two eyes morphing into one before his form changed back into Bill Cipher. "Boy you kids are gullible! I knew you would lead me straight to the code! That was even easier than I thought!"

"You're a stink face!" Mabel yelled, one of her boys backing her up. "Don't treat me like a child Xyler!"

"Later suckers!" Bill yelled, flying backwards, door in hand.

"Guys, we gotta save Stan! Let's get-"

"What's the point?" We all turned around and saw Dipper walking down a flight of stairs, looking as depressed as ever. "Why should I save him? I work for Stan all day and all he does in return is say he wants to get rid of me."

"Dip, I'm sure that's not true," Mabel told him.

"I saw it with my own eyes in one of his memories! He always picks on me and now I know why! Stan HATES me!" I sighed, having enough of this.

"Forget what you saw! If we don't stop Bill, then Gideon will get the shack and summer is over!" I knew he was looking forward to the next seven weeks, but he must have seen something major.

"No! Stan doesn't even want me here, and I'm not gonna make it harder on him to get rid of me! Stay if you want, but as far as I'm concerned, as soon as we wake up, I'm calling Mom and Dad!"

"But what about-"

"Not gonna happen! I'm not fixing Stan's problems anymore!"

"Well FINE! We'll save Stan on our own! Let's go guys!" I lead the way, not caring who followed or not. I didn't care if I had an army behind me or if it was just me: I loved this place now and I was staying here as long as possible, and NOTHING would make me leave before the end of summer.

 **Bill's POV**

Humans are idiots; I LOVE IT! Although Oak Leaf could be some trouble. But I wasn't worried about her right now. I just had to get the code to Gideon and then they wouldn't cause problems for anyone. Speaking of, Gideon called just then. I did owe the kid, but he was getting kind of annoying.

"Bill! Did ya find the memory with the combo yet?" He asked me. I was glad there was only a few minutes' left before our deal was completed.

"Relax short-stack; I got it right here," I told him, holding out the door so he could see it. Evil laughter is my favorite sound!

"Perfect! Now give it to me and I'll fulfill my end of the bargain!" Man, if that worked, things were gonna get fun!

"Finally! You got a pen there?" I opened the door as he grabbed a pen and notebook out of his jacket. "It's 13… 44… WHAT!?" Something came from somewhere and the door flew out of my hand. It fell through a door with a memory about the Bottomless Pit, disappearing down the abyss.

At first I thought Oak Leaf had figured out how to get her little toy back. But when I turned around I saw that Shooting Star had used one of those little kiddie foam gun thingies instead. "The deal's off!" Dammit! I had forgotten Gideon could see everything!

"Kid, wait! I can-"

"NOPE! I'm switchin' to plan B!" Gideon hung up and I broke into a bunch of pieces. I looked over at the others who were still celebrating. I could still have some fun with them.

"YOU!" I yelled, making myself red this time. Red means fear; fear means fun! They all glanced at me, the humans drawing their foam guns like that would help anything. "You can't imagine what you just cost me! Do you have any idea what I'm like..."? I lowered my voice and lit my hands on fire, "WHEN I'M MAD?!"

I started flashing different symbols in my eye and on their faces. The look of fear on their face was PRICELESS! I made fire surround us in a circle then grew it to be at least ten feet high. Then I made a rock in the shape of Stan's face come out of the ground and fly into the sky above the building. I grew myself to 20 feet, making them panic even more. I could wait to see their faces when I made them, "EAT NIGHTMARES!"

 **Dipper's POV**

Bill wasn't kidding when he said this place was a maze. I had been walking around forever and hadn't found the way out. At this point, I was just opening random doors, hoping to find something that looked familiar. I opened another door and saw that it was the same one from earlier of me chopping wood. "This again?" I said to myself. At least I knew where to go from here.

"Kid's a loser, he's weak…" Stan was saying to Soos. I started to close the door, not wanting to hear Stan saying those things about me again. "Those are all things people said about me when I was a boy."

Wait, what? I opened the door the whole way and leaned in, listening to the _entire_ conversation this time.

"It was terrible. I was the biggest wimp on the playground!" A door opened behind me. A young Stan, maybe 8, got hit in the face with a soccer ball, causing him to run away crying. "So one summer my pop signs me up for boxing lessons. It was even worse than the school yard!" Another door opened, showing a ten-year-old Stan pinned under another kid, boxing gloves on each of their fists.

"Left hook!" Young Stan yelled, punching the other kid's jaw. That door closed and another opened, showing Stan, maybe 16, in line for the premier of _Grandpa the Kid._ "At the time I thought my pop was trying to torture me. But turns out, the old man was doing me a favor all along!" In the memory, a thug came up behind a woman and tried to take her purse. Stan left-hooked him, knocking him to the ground, the other people hailing him a hero and the woman kissing him.

"So ya see? That's why I'm hard on Dipper: to toughen him up. So when the world fights, he fights back." Okay, yeah, I screwed up big time.

"Do you think it's actually working?" Soos asked. In the memory, I cut the piece of wood in half, then started celebrating because I had been able to do it.

"He's really coming along! When push comes to shove, I'm actually proud of him. Just don't ever tell him I said that. His head's big enough as it is." I don't know when but I had been leaning against the doorway when the barrier gave out. I stumbled into the memory, Soos and Stan turning towards me.

"Kid, what are you doing here? Nice hole in your chest, by the way. Let's fix that up." Stan snapped and the hole closed up as if it had never happened.

"W-What? How did you do that?" I asked, patting my chest and back. Man, it felt good to have my organs back.

"Word to the wise kid. We're in the mind! You can do whatever you want in here!" He held out his hand and made a Pitt Cola can appear, popping the top without touching it.

"Well how about that?" I said to myself. I turned around when I heard screaming and saw flashing lights. I forgot about the others! "What am I doing?! I gotta stop Bill!" I took off towards the fight, Stan's advice playing over and over in my mind. We might actually have a chance now!

 **Willow's POV**

"EAT NIGHTMARES!" Bill yelled, lighting his hand on fire and firing a laser towards Soos. This was NOT gonna end well.

"Nightmares? I hope he doesn't mean that British dog man I'm always dreaming about." The laser hit the ground three feet in front of him. A bull dog in a green suit and bowler hat was standing facing us.

"'Ello, 'Ello, 'Ello! Who's crike for a stick in the pudding?" The dog asked, hitting Soos with his cane a few times. Soos panicked and started running around, the dog following him around.

"YOU!" Bill yelled, aiming at Mabel. His laser hit her, causing her head to grow to twice its regular size and turn a weird shade of green.

"My cuteness!" She yelled. "What did you do to my cutenettttttttthhhhhh…?" Her voice got really deep and slow, making her slur a bit. Okay… a lot.

"YOU'RE NEXT!" Bill yelled, pointing at Alex and Mabel's boys, the latter's starting to danc. Bill blasted them, making them fly off their feet and off the rock.

"My dream boys!" Mabel yelled as Bill blasted Alex. He had actually been expecting it, so when he got blasted, instead of going airborne, he slid across the rock before going over. I saw his hands on the ledge, so I ran over and grabbed him.

"I'm not real. You can let me go," he told me. But… I couldn't. Real or not, I couldn't handle losing him again. "LOOK OUT!"

He pulled me over the ledge. Something flew past us. Bill had fired another laser at me, but Alex pulling me down had caused it to miss. But now both of us were hanging over the edge, Alex holding us both up by one hand.

"HEY BILL!" Dipper flew up above us, surrounded by blue light. "Nice bow tie!" He blasted lasers from his eyes through Bill's chest. He then turned to me and Alex and Force-Lifted us back onto the rock. "Guys! I just learned you can conjure whatever you can conceive in Grunkle Stan's mindscape!"

"Huh?" The others questioned.

"Just think of cool fighting stuff and it'll happen!" I told them, imagining Chewbacca's bowcaster in my hands. It appeared, and I was able to blast the dog man and vaporize him. Man this thing was fun!

"We can do anything?" Mabel asked, bringing her face back too normal. "Like have kittens for fists?" She pulled her arms into her sleeves and when they came out, she had kitten faces instead of hands. She held them out and fired a bunch of them at Bill, covering him completely.

"Anything huh? Soos love stomach beam stare!" Soos lifted his shirt and a question mark ray flew at Bill. It was so powerful that Bill flew backwards off of the rock.

"Enough games!" He yelled, closing the hole in his chest and turning his eye into a laser cannon. He shot as laser at the ground and started moving it towards us.

"Hamster Ball shields activate!" Mabel yelled, all of us making pinkish-purple hamster balls form around us. The laser hit the shields and bounced back, right into Bill's eye. "Rise Xyler! Rise Craz!" Our shields broke apart and Mabel made her boys appear again, playing their instruments. Bill moved his hands from his eye to cover where his ears would be if he had any.

"Now to imagine your worst nightmare! A portal out of Stan's mind! Everyone, together!" We all started picturing the portal opening up right underneath him. I opened an eye and saw a black hole in the rock, red lightning coming out of it. Just a few more seconds and-

"ENOUGH!" Everything went white and disappeared, leaving us floating in the air. We all looked like we did when we first got here, including my crossbow, which was back on my side. Bill turned back too yellow and dusted his hat off.

"You know what; I'm impressed with you kids. You're more clever than you look," he told us, putting his hat back on his head. "So I'm gonna let you kids off the hook. You might come in handy later. BUT KNOW THIS!" His voice went really deep and he made a six-fingered hand appear above his head. "A darkness approaches. A day will come in the future when everything you care about will change." He vaporized the hand and started making everything go dark.

"Until then I'll be watching you!" An image came up behind him. He was in the center of a wheel, a bunch of symbols surrounding him. "I'LL BE WATCHING YOU…" Each symbol started lighting up, going clockwise. The light ended on a question mark before the entire thing disappeared, him going with it. The light came back and it was just us.

"He's gone. We did it," Dipper breathed. I could not wait to get back and get some restful sleep. Speaking of, we all started flickering and our legs started to disappear. "Stan must be waking up."

"Thanks for saving me," I told Alex. I had no idea what would have happened had that one blast hit me.

"Saved you? You almost died because of me," he whispered. "Hey, listen. Whatever happens between you and the real me, just know that we will always love you."

"Always love you too," I told him, us kissing… on the cheek before me, Mabel and the boys disappeared.

We woke up. It was… weird. I knew it was technically a dream, but it _felt_ real. Not like it was something that could actually happen (I still had my doubts about some of this stuff) but I actually felt all of the bruises. I looked at my legs and saw a bunch of scratches that hadn't been there before. But a few cuts and bruises were better than Gideon owning the Shack.

"We did it!" Mabel yelled excitedly, all of us doing a big group hug.

"What? Did what?" We broke apart and looked over at Grunkle Stan, who was rubbing his face. "What're you all doing here? And why was I dreaming of two brightly colored and radical young men?"

"Grunkle Stan, you're okay!" Dipper yelled, jumping up in his chair and hugging him.

"What is this: a hug?"

"Nope! It's a choke hold!" Dipper replied, changing position and putting Grunkle Stan in a choke hold. They did that for a few seconds before Dipper let go, the two of them smiling at each other.

"Not bad kid. Not bad," Grunkle Stan told him, rubbing his neck.

"I'm just glad Gideon didn't get into the safe. I really like this old Shack," I stated looking around. I had hated this place when we first came, but now it was like a second home to me. I couldn't handle-

"Do you feel that?" It felt like an earthquake. I didn't think Oregon got those. But I guess anything was possible. The building shook again. "GET DOWN!" I yelled, but it was too late. The wall behind us exploded, throwing us against the far wall.

"You kids okay?" Grunkle Stan asked, coughing from the dust. We were banged up, but other than that, we were okay physically. But our mental state was questionable when we looked up and saw Gideon standing over us, deed in hand.

"But we defeated Bill!" Dipper told him. Gideon _had_ mentioned something about a plan B.

"Bill failed me! So I switched to plan B: Dynamite!" Gideon explained. Why hadn't that been plan A?!

"What? Bill? Who- What're you guys talking about?" Grunkle Stan question, looking back and forth between all of us.

"Spoiler alert Stanford: I got the deed! The Mystery Shack belongs to me! So get off my property!" Gideon turned around and spoke into a walkie talkie. "Daddy, bring it around the front."

"Don't worry guys; It's all part of the dream! We're gonna wake up any second right! Right?" The ground started rumbling. We all ran outside and saw Gideon standing on a crane, his dad driving, a wrecking ball hanging down. Gideon's dad pressed a few buttons and the ball flew through the signs on top of the Shack.

"Someone pinch me dude," Soos said. The M of the sign crashed down in front of us. All it did was drive home what we all knew: We had lost. Gideon owned the Mystery Shack.


	19. Gideon Rises

**Here it is you guys: the end of season one. And don't worry: I will not be going on a year-long hiatus like the show did. And because of… certain events, at the end Stan's POV will finally be shown. I've been waiting until now to do that, and the time has finally come. But first I have shout-outs to do!**

 **Gamelover41592- Thanks for the review! Stan getting married won't be a part of this story; that memory and some of the others I mentioned were all in the real-life journal, so I felt like adding them in would be a cool reference to that. The Finders-Keepers law is actually one of the MANY weird laws that are in Gravity Falls. It was never mentioned in the episode, but it is on the wiki, so I included it to explain why Gideon's plan would be able to work. Quentin Trembley was REALLY messed up!**

 **Miss Tri- Thanks for your review/Glad you're back! The cursing thing; their (almost) teens, so I do think that they would let one or two slip then and there, but I get what you are saying. The Oak Leaf; technically, it's not a character thing (go back to episode one). But I referenced a book series with that, so it could be something related to character. The fake Alex; Let's just say I have plans and a little foreshadowing was required. I'll work on giving Willow her own voice. Thanks for the review and all your advice. I owe you at the end of this!**

 **Disclaimer: I only own Willow. Everything else belongs to Disney/Alex Hirsch/the GF team.**

* * *

 **Dipper's POV (July 14th)**

The wrecking ball crashed through the signs on top of the building. The M of the sign crashed down in front of us. I screamed. I woke up. "I just had a horrible dream that Gideon stole the deed to the Shack and kicked us out and… we all had to move in with Soos' grandma."

"That was no dream dude," Soos said from beside me. I screamed again, waking up everyone else. Why couldn't it have been a dream?!

Yesterday, Friday the 13th, had been the WORST DAY EVER! In a nutshell: Gideon summoned Bill Cipher, an evil triangle dream demon, to go into Grunkle Stan's mind and take the code to his safe. We followed him in, some stuff happened, we beat him and woke up. Not even a minute later, Gideon used dynamite to blow open the safe and steel the deed and… here we are.

Until further notice, we were all staying in Soos' living room. Grunkle Stan had taken the sofa-bed while the rest of us were in sleeping bags on the ground.

"Shh, por favor," Soos' Grandmother told me. She had fallen asleep in her chair along with us. She was a nice enough woman, although very strict about everything being clean and quiet.

"Sorry Abuelita," I told her, using the name she insisted on having me and the girls call her. Mabel got up and walked over to her, rubbing her face.

"Mabel, quit being creepy! The news is finally on!" Grunkle Stan told her. We all sat down as he turned the volume up. Shandra was standing in front a new fence that was now surrounding the Shack, Gideon beside her.

" _In a movement that has all of Gravity Falls buzzing, child psychic Gideon Gleeful has taken surprise ownership of the Mystery Shack, previously belonging to area shyster Stanford Pines."_

"That picture's taken out of context," Grunkle Stan stated as a photo of him in a devil costume appeared. The screen went back to Shandra and Gideon.

" _Now that you have the Mystery Shack, what are planning on doing with it?"_ She asked him.

" _I have a big announcement to make today, and I'd like to cordially invite all the good people of Gravity Falls to join me. Free admission to anyone who wears their Gideon pins! It's my face!"_ Gideon said, holding one of the pins up. Grunkle Stan clicked the TV off.

"I can't believe Gideon beat us. I'm normally able to save the day. This is all my fault," I said to myself.

"No, it's mine. I could have stopped Gideon before any of yesterday happened," Willow said, being vague so we didn't have to explain yesterday's events to Grunkle Stan.

"Well it looks like Mabel is going to have to be the hero of the family now. I'll defeat Gideon with my grappling hook!" She stated, holding it up proudly.

"Mabel, that thing has never helped us once," Willow told her.

"Oh yeah? Jelly grab!" Mabel fired it at a large jar of jelly, making it explode all over the wall. Abuelita grabbed a vacuum and started vacuuming the wall.

"So we lost the Shack. Look on the bright side!" Soos said excitedly. He had sat over by some race cars and a little circle track. "Now you get to live here with me! Anyone wanna play race cars? They're out of batteries but we can make pretend." He coughed twice and two Fruit Loops landed on his chest. "Would it be a new low if I ate that? Just kidding, I'm totally eating it!" We all looked over to Grunkle Stan, the usual mischievous glint in his eyes.

"We're gonna get the Shack back!"

 **GFF**

"HELLO GRAVITY FALLS!" Gideon's voice said through the speakers that were everywhere. There was a banner hanging in the trees that said MYSTERY SHACK GRAND CLOSING, and at least half the town had showed up to the event, all wearing Gideon Pins.

In order to avoid being recognized, we were all wearing black trench coats and fedora's, Mabel insisting on a fake mustache and glasses. Soos had taped a fake beard to his face and put a NOT SOOS sign on his regular hat.

"Stay together. Don't draw attention," Grunkle Stan whispered to us: The last thing we needed was to get kicked out before we could do anything.

"Ladies and Gentlemen!" Gideon announced from the Shack. "I am delighted to announce my plans for the former Mystery Shack. I give you: GIDEONLAND!"

"WHAT!" We all jumped up onto the fence so we could see better. It didn't help much, but what we could see of the model was enough. It looked like an amusement park, Gideon-themed rides EVERYWHERE!

"We're gonna turn this dirty ol' shack into three square miles of Gideon-tertainment! And introducin' our new mascot! Li'l Gideon JR!"

"WADDLES!" Mabel yelled. That little creep had dressed the pig up in a pale blue suit and white wig that was taller than he was.

"THAT'S IT!" Grunkle Stan yelled. We all jumped down and pulled off our disguises, shoving our way to the front. We jumped on stage, Mabel kicking down a cardboard-cutout of Gideon as Grunkle Stan took the podium. "Listen up people! Gideon is a fraud! The kid broke in and stole my property!"

"Arrest him officers!" Mabel yelled at the cops who were sitting in the front row.

"Such accusations!" Gideon said, walking up from behind us. "Mr. Pines, I recall you gave the property to me. Look, I have the deed right here!" Gideon held the deed out, the name _STANFORD PINES_ clearly written on the line.

"That's all the proof I need to see," Sherriff Blubs stated. Stupid Finders Keepers Law! Gideon snapped and a few of his thugs picked us up and brought us over to him.

"Get off MY property old man!" Gideon yelled, slapping one of his pins on Grunkle Stan's suit.

"I'll show you who's the ol-OW! My hearing aid! Gah!" That was weird; he had just gotten a new one. There wasn't that much time to think about it because the thugs started carrying us off stage and out of the ceremony. Willow started pacing as the rest of us leaned back against the fence and some trees.

"Don't worry guys. We'll get the Shack back somehow," Willow told us. We were both taking this hard. She kept saying that if she had had her crossbow, she could have fought Bill when Gideon summoned him, but it really was my fault. If I hadn't gotten mad at Grunkle Stan, we could have defeated Bill quicker and been back in time to stop Gideon's Plan B.

"We better." We all looked up as Wendy walked over to us. We hadn't seen her since the bat yesterday morning, so finally getting to talk to someone who was in touch with the town was good. "The town is all in with Gideonland, but if I can't work at the Shack my dad's gonna ship me upstate to work at my cousin's logging camp."

"You're leaving town? But we need you here!"

"Especially Dipper because of his giant crush on –" I elbowed Soos in the ribs. "You… calyptus trees! The kid loves eucalyptus trees!" He covered. Music started coming from the forest.

"Don't look now guys," Wendy stated, picking her bike up. Robbie walked out of the trees, a boom-box held above his head like the Say Anything movie.

"Take me back Wendy! My arms are too skinny to keep holding this boom-box forever!" He yelled as Wendy mounted her bike.

"I was never here," she told us, riding off, Robbie chasing after her.

"Let's head back guys. We can strategize better there," Grunkle Stan said. Treating this like a war wasn't helping much. None of us felt like strategizing anything, not even lunch. The phone call didn't help anything.

"Mr. Pines, there is an Elizabeth on the phone for you," Abuelita called from the kitchen. How had Mom and Dad heard about this? We didn't tell them anything! They didn't even know about the journal!

"Don't worry kids. I'll handle this," Grunkle Stan told us, walking into the kitchen to take the call. This wasn't good. The problems kept adding up. Abuelita couldn't feed all of us, there wasn't enough room in her house, and now our parents were checking on us. Grunkle Stan would tell them we were okay, but we all knew we weren't.

 **Gideon's POV**

I threw another photo of the Pines family into the fire then looked back at journal 2. Now that I had the shack, I wanted to find journal 1 as fast as possible, and that meant plannin' out where I would look. If a bunch of random holes in the ground appeared out of nowhere, people would get suspicious.

"I been meanin' to ask you boy," Daddy said, puttin' our sad clown painting on the wall. "Shouldn't you be celebratin' Gideonland instead of stickin' your head in that there book all day?"

"Daddy, have I ever told you the true nature of this book?" He shook his head. "It was written over 30 years ago by a brilliant, unknown author who learned secrets too powerful for one man. He hid his journals where he thought no one would ever find 'em because he knew that if they were ever brought together, they would unleash a gateway to unimaginable power. I found this in the woods behind the school, and codes and maps have led me to believe that the first book is buried somewhere on this very property, and I intend to find it!"

"So that explains why you wanted the Mystery Shack so badly," Daddy realized as I grabbed a shovel.

"That's right Daddy. It's time to begin my search: For the other journal!"

 **Willow's POV**

"Go red car!" Mabel yelled. It wasn't doing anything; just sitting there on the track. She and Soos were trying to have fun, but all it was doing was making me and Dipper more depressed.

"This would be a lot more fun with batteries," Dipper mumbled. I debated saying something creepy, but it just didn't feel right given all that was going on.

"Um, kids…" We turned around and saw Grunkle Stan walking into the room, looking upset, angry, guilty and depressed all at once. This wasn't good; the only time we had ever seen him like this was when the police were questioning him. "We've gotta talk. I've been thinking and I'm really sorry, but I can't take care of you anymore. I don't have a house or job. The plan is… you're going home. Here are your tickets; bus leaves at noon tomorrow."

We… we had to leave? Already! But we've only been here a month! There are still seven weeks left! I couldn't believe this. "Grunkle Stan, you can't give up!" I told him, failing to keep my voice under control. It was weird; I almost never cried, but this just… got to me.

"Kids, I'm sorry. I don't want you to leave either, but the best thing for everyone right now is for you to be with your parents. I lost: Gideon won. Summer's over." He put the tickets on the table and walked out, Soos chasing after him.

"That's it!" Dipper yelled, going into attack mode and messing with his watch. "We have 16 hours till the bus comes. If Grunkle Stan won't get our home back from Gideon, then we'll do it ourselves!"

"Dipper's right. Gideon has the upper hand, but we have one thing he doesn't."

"THE JOURNAL!" "Grappling Hook!" Mabel lowered it and joined me and Dipper. "Oh yeah. Journal!"

 **GFF (July 15th)**

"Alright girls. The bus comes in three hours. We gotta get moving," Dipper told us. We had been up all night strategizing, but we couldn't think of anything. We had decided that we would do some recon before we decided anything, so that had lead us to be hiding in the bushes, watching the guards for the past half hour.

"I've got this!" Mabel announced, firing her grappling hook. It bounced off a tree and landed on Dipper's head.

"NOW will you admit that thing is useless?!" Dipper asked her, standing up. She shook her head as Dipper pulled the journal out of his vest. "Let's see… Barf fairy?"

"Yeah!" "Nope!" Mabel and I both said at the same time. Dipper turned the page.

"Butternut squash with human face and emotions?"

"Yeah!" "Nope!" Mabel and I said again. Dipper turned the page and Mabel grabbed the journal from him. "What's this about?" She asked, turning the book so it faced us. Drawn along both pages was part of a blueprint.

"We've looked at this page for hours. We think it's a blueprint for some kind of weird, futuristic super-"

"BORING!" Mabel interrupted. "To defeat Gideon and those guards we need some kind of army!"

"ARMY! That's it! The gnomes!" I announced, flipping to their page. Mabel didn't seem thrilled with the idea.

"I don't know about this guys. They probably won't help us after what happened a month ago."

"PLEASE! If anyone can convince them to help us it's you! And I don't hear any better ideas. Let's go!" I started walking into the forest, looking at the maps that lead to the gnomes. When I thought we were getting close, I looked to Dipper. "Time check?"

"Two and a half hours. We gotta do this fast."

"I wonder what gnomes do out here?" Mabel wondered. We rounded a corner and got one answer. Jeff was in a bathtub full of squirrels.

"AH!" He screamed when he saw us. "This… this is normal. This is normal for gnomes! Can't believe you came crawling back though. Changed your mind about marrying me, did ya Mabel?"

"Hardly! We need your help!" She told him.

"You want our help? After you left me at the altar! No dice!"

"What if we were able to get you a new queen? One even prettier than me?" Mabel offered.

"Her name is Gideon, and she has lovely white hair!" I added, Dipper holding his hand out. Jeff rubbed his beard for a few seconds before yelling behind him.

"Shembulock! Get my cologne!" He turned back to us and shook Dipper's hand. "It's a deal!"

 **GFF**

"We gotta make this fast. The bus comes in an hour," Dipper told us. It had taken a while to get enough gnomes to help us, come up with a battle plan, mobilize the troops and get them into position, but now that everyone was in position, we were ready to attack.

"Let's go!" The three of us ran up to the fence and started rattling it, calling for Gideon. After a few minutes that we REALLY couldn't afford to lose, Gideon came out, flanked by two thugs. "Give us back the deed Gideon! Or else!" Dipper told him as I brought my fingers to my lips.

"Am I supposed to say or else what?" Gideon asked rhetorically.

"Yes you are supposed to say that!" Mabel yelled as I blew a sharp whistle. Gideon's thugs fell face-first on the ground, two gnomes impaled in their backs. We split up and let the gnomes break through the fence, most of them riding forest animals. The rest of the gnomes dropped in, surrounding Gideon on all sides. Their sharp heads made surprisingly good weapons.

"You're surrounded Gideon. Now give us back our deed!"

"And let the marriage ceremony begin!" Jeff added from a deer's head. Gideon sighed and reached into his jacket.

"I suppose this deed belongs to-" Gideon blew into a whistle. I guess the gnomes' ears are closer to a dog's, because they all threw their hands to their ears, some even curling into the fetal position. "Guess this thing works on gnomes too!" Gideon said to himself, blowing the whistle again.

"We'll do anything! How can we serve you your majesty?!" Jeff stated, bowing to Gideon. TRAITOR!

"Subdue them!" Gideon yelled, pointing at us. In ten seconds flat, they had us all surrounded, even holding us a few inches above the ground. Those guys were stronger than they looked.

"Let go!" I yelled, squirming a bit. My jacket moved. Something thudded on the ground. "Oh God." It was the journal.

"Of course! It all makes sense!" Gideon said, running up and grabbing the journal, flipping through the pages. "The one place I'd never think to look! Y'all had it the whole time! And to think I actually considered y'all a threat!"

"Give it back!" "I'll turn you into a porcupine!" Dipper and I yelled, me reaching for my crossbow. Gideon walked over and took it off of my hip.

"Every victory y'all had was because of your precious book!"

"Give it back or we'll-"

"You what, huh? Face it! No muscles; No brains! Y'all can't do nothin' without your precious toys! Bye-bye forever y'all!" He blew the whistle again and the gnomes carried us into the forest. Gideon's words were replaying in my head over and over; I didn't even realize we had stopped moving until I saw some squirrels jump into Jeff's pants.

"That's it. Bus should be here soon," I said, standing up and dusting off. Dipper stood up and checked his watch.

"We've got about a half hour. Let's go get packed." Mabel smacked us both upside the head, none too gently.

"What is wrong with you guys? You've never given up! You always have a plan!"

"No, the journal does! Think about it! The only courageous or cool things that have happened this past month have been because of the journal!"

"If we didn't have that thing, none of this summer would have happened. And if it did, we would be dead a long time ago. Gideon was right. Without it, we can't help anybody."

"There's gotta be something we can do!" Mabel insisted.

"We have no money, no weapons, no journal, no nothing. There's NOTHING we can do!" We all stopped. This was happening. We were supposed to stay up here all summer. But now we had to leave. Summer was over.

 **GFF**

" _Bus 52 departing Gravity Falls. All aboard."_ We grabbed our bags and got on the bus, walking all the way to the back row. Someone knocked on the back of the bus.

"Sorry kids, but it's for the best," Grunkle Stan said, taking a step back. Him, Wendy, Candy and Grenda had all come to say bye to us. We all waved as the bus pulled away.

"I can't believe this is happening," Dipper whispered as we got to the edge of town. I think it was then that the gravity (sorry) of the situation hit us, especially when we saw the sign that we had not expected to see for another seven weeks.

 **Goodbye Gravity Falls**

 **Gideon's POV**

"GET OUT!" I yelled at my parents. They were gone in less than three seconds. I sat down at the table where I had journal 2. "At last I have journal number three! WHAT?!" The Pines' journal looked almost exactly like mine; just a bit more beat-up and a monocle attached. But instead of the hand having a one written in it, like I had been expectin', there was a three in its place. "There are THREE of 'em?! Where is journal number one?! I must have all three for the power to be unlocked! But where could-PINES! They kept the first for themselves! I can't let 'em leave Gravity Falls!"

I grabbed the journals and ran outside. "YOU THERE! IS IT READY?!" I yelled up to Old Man McGucket, whom I had gotten to build me a giant Gideon robot.

"ONLY ONE WAY TO FIND OUT!" He yelled back. He did somethin' to the robot and it turned on, the eyes glowin' yellow. I got onto a platform that was attached to the foot. It started movin' into the body of the robot, then up into the head. I grabbed a special suit. It was one of the one's they use for motion-capture movies. It was all black, with a bunch of motion-sensitive balls sewn in. I got into the control room and punched my left fist down. The robot shoved the GIDEONLAND sign in its hands into the ground. It took a bit of gettin' used to too work it properly, but after a while, I was able to make the robot run. There was no way I was lettin' the Pines leave with journal one!

 **Willow's POV**

I had finally stopped crying. But every time I started thinking about what we were leaving behind, I choked up again. I was gonna miss everything about this place. The trees, the smell, the supernatural creatures, the people, the 'earthquakes,' the places, the giant Gideon-bot chasing after us, the Shack, the journal… Wait, GIDEON-BOT?

"Guys, am I hallucinating, or is there a giant Gideon robot chasing after us?" The others turned around and saw the same thing, so this town has NOT made me go completely insane. It would have been really cool had it not been chasing us. We ran up to the front of the bus.

"What's going on dudes?" Turns out, SOOS was the bus driver! I have NEVER been happier to see him!

"Gideon-bot, behind us, FLOOR IT!" Soos nodded and started using different levers and buttons, trying to find the clutch. Eventually he got it and we sped up, but Gideon was still coming after us. I ran back to the back. We had to swerve a lot. "LOOK OUT!" The Gideon-bot jumped clear over the bus. Soos turned left up a path. He crashed through a ROAD CLOSED sign. This was not gonna end well.

"He already won! What else does he want from us?" I yelled, running back to the front. The Gideon-bot was climbing up the path after us. We got to the top of the mountain. It was the cliffs with the old mine-car bridge between them. Soos hit the breaks and spun around, stopping the bus just before it fell off the cliff. He stayed in the bus as we went through the access panel in the floor. We crawled out from under the bus and started climbing down the cliff-side to the tracks.

We were half-way across when Gideon jumped down onto the tracks. "Where is journal number one?!"

"Journal 1?" Dead-serious, we had never really thought about the other journals. I mean, we knew they existed, but we had never had a need for them. Gideon clearly didn't know that, because he started chasing us to the far side of the bridge.

"Don't play games with me!" Gideon yelled, punching the cliff. Rocks crashed down around us.

"You took the only journal we had!" "What do you want with those things?" Dipper and I yelled up to him. He grabbed me and Dipper in one hand, Mabel in the other, and brought us up to the head of the robot. We were lucky enough to have our hands free, but the most we could do was punch the robot's fingers and yell/scream a lot.

"Ya still think you're heroes?" Gideon said to us. He turned around and threw me and Dipper over his shoulder. We hit the ground. I blacked out. I came to. My head was killing me.

"Your head is bleeding," Dipper said, walking into my line of sight, hand on his nose. I reached up and touched my head. My fingers came away bloody, but it wasn't a lot, and since scalp wounds bleed more than other areas, I took that as a good sign. I sat up and my head started spinning. "You okay?"

"Yeah," I whispered, looking at him. "Your nose is broken," I told him. He nodded and wiped some of the blood away then helped me stand. I felt my head clearing. We walked over to the edge of the cliff. I was definitely feeling better. Gideon was walking away from us, Mabel calling for help.

Gideon's words from the gnome attack came back to me. _You're nothin' without your precious toys. No muscles, no brains. What're you gonna do?_ Dipper and I looked at each other. We started walking away from the cliff. Mabel's voice got louder. We stopped. Our eyes locked. Everything changed.

It was like the Voldemort scene from _Order of the Phoenix._ All the bad times that have been happening recently disappeared. In its place was great memories. Finding the Journal, fishing with Grunkle Stan, the party when Alex showed up, meeting Quentin, Summerween; they were all there, among MANY others. We COULD do stuff without the Journal. Dipper was the smartest person I knew, and he could hold his own in a fight. I knew technology and wiring, and there was a giant robot behind us.

We didn't even have to talk about it. We both turned around and ran back towards the cliff. We jumped at the Gideon-bot, yelling a battle cry. "PINES!" We crashed through the eyes of the Gideon-bot. Dipper landed on Gideon and the two started fighting as I ran over to the control panel. Moving was hard because of the motion-capture suit Gideon had on.

I grabbed a pair of wire cutters and pulled off the cover of the control panel, revealing the wiring. I crawled into the panel and started looking around, trying to find the right bundle. To most people, it looked like rainbow spaghetti that got tangled up. But for me, it all made sense. In my mind, I could see through the covers too the wiring. It was almost like the bundles had labels of what they were for.

"WILLS!" Dipper called my name just as the head started spinning like crazy. I knew I only had a few seconds. I started getting turned around and becoming disoriented, hitting my head a few times. Call it what you want, but the wires I grabbed onto to keep myself stable controlled the motion-capture tech. Without even thinking, I reached up with the cutters and sliced the wires.

There was a crash, but the head stopped spinning, so I took that as a good sign. Just as a precaution, as I made my way back to the head, I cut as many wires as I could. Dipper and Mabel were waiting for me on the outside. They reached down to help me out just as the robot shook a bit.

"We'll catch up later, but this thing could fall any second. We have to-"

"DDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!"

We looked up. Something hit the Gideon-bot. Gravity kicked in. We flew out of the head. We grabbed onto each other. Three seconds. ZZZZZZZZIIIIIIIPPPPPPPP. Two seconds. Whiplash. We were still falling, but it was gradual and slow, not a free-fall.

"GRAPPLING HOOK!" Mabel yelled as we touched down. "Told you guys it would come in handy!" She added, taking the string back into the barrel. "Whoa…"

The robot was in tatters. Limbs were scattered everywhere, wires were showing, half the head had disappeared, metal sheets scattered in the trees. The bus was standing on end through one of the eyes. It looked like the scrap yard got nuked. "Damn…"

"Guys, over here," I called, noticing something glaring towards us from under some metal parts. We walked over, the glare disappearing. It was a glass circle in a gold band, a gold chain coming off it. It was a monocle. We lifted up the metal, revealing the Journal.

"HEY!" The next few seconds were chaos. First responders, camera crews, family, friends; the entire town was coming to see what had happened. People were running around everywhere, checking on us, searching the wreckage. Gideon was beaten up but alive. As much as I hate that kid, I was glad he was okay. But when he told the cops 'what happened,' I wished he was dead.

"It was the Pines kids! The tried to attack me and blow up my statue with dynamite! Arrest 'em!"

Okay, A) Where would twelve-year-olds get dynamite? And B) How DUMB is the PD in this town? I mean, seriously! Gideon was lying through his teeth, and these guys were buying every second of it!

"He's lying!" "Gideon's a fraud!" "We didn't do anything!" The three of us insisted, but those guys didn't believe us.

"Sorry kids, but we trust Gideon, and nothing short of a miracle could ever-"

CRASH! HONK HONK! CRASH! "WWWWAAAAAAAAAAAIIIIIIIIIIITTTTTTTT!" A familiar red El Diablo came into the mix, Grunkle Stan yelling and honking like crazy. "Stop everything! I've got somethin' to say! Just give me two minutes! Just look! You all think Gideon is so perfect and honest! 'I could never tell a lie! I'm Gideon!'"

"He more honest than you," Blubs stated as Grunkle Stan walked over to the wreckage.

"And he psychic too!" Durland added. Grunkle Stan smiled, the usual con-man glint in his eyes brighter than ever before.

"How's this for psychic?!" He kicked the robot and a piece of metal fell off, exposing the area around the chest. Inside looked like an observation room. About half of the footage was of different residence during times when they would be alone or almost alone. The other half was of the observation room itself. Grunkle Stan walked up, hit a few buttons, and the center screen was filled up with the people looking at the tech. Grunkle Stan was holding a Gideon Pin, using it to show the people. "These pins are hidden cameras! And my hearing aid was picking up the feedback! Who's the fraud now?"

He made a fist and crushed the pin, then grabbed another pin and made it fill the center screen, showing a tiny camera and microphone. Everyone else ripped their pins off and threw them on the ground, most stomping on them before turning to glare at Gideon. They all started walking towards him, making him back up against the police car. "Gideon, we gave you our trust," Durland told him, his voice quivering.

"You LIED to us!" Manly Dan growled, punching his fist into his hand. Gideon tripped and fell on his butt, scrambling backwards.

"Please I-It's not-I can… W-What're ya gonna do with me?"

"Tyler?" Blubs asked. Why Tyler Cutebiker had the final decision instead of the mayor, I had no idea. But it worked to our advantage.

"Get 'im… Get 'im!" In five seconds, Gideon was in handcuffs and being walked to the police car. Grunkle Stan walked up and stopped them.

"Just a minute." Grunkle Stan picked Gideon up by the belt and shook him a few times. An axe, keys, a book, a screwdriver and Gideon's wallet all fell out, along with some papers. Grunkle Stan reached down and picked up one of them. "I believe this belongs to me!" He stated proudly, posing for the cameras, the Mystery Shack deed in hand.

The cops put Gideon into the car and drove off as Grunkle Stan came over and hugged us. "Kids I'm sorry. I should have tried harder to get the deed back and keep you in town and you could have been killed and-"

"We love you too!" We all said, wrapping our arms around him. The rest of summer was going to be the best! He picked Mabel up and put her on his shoulders as Shandra Jimenez and her camera crew walked over to us.

"And there you have it! Local hero Stanford Pines has just exposed Li'l Gideon as a fraud. Anything you have to say to the town Stanford?" We all looked at each other, huge smiles coming onto our faces. Grunkle Stan leaned into the microphone, a genuine smile of happiness on his face.

"The Mystery Shack is back BABY!"

 **GFF**

Before we headed back to the Shack, we went to the hospital. Good news was we weren't too bad. I mean, it wasn't great, but it could have been WAY worse. Dipper's nose was broken and he had gotten a black eye, but his nose would heal itself within a week or two. Like I said at first, the cut on my head wasn't too bad. It was an inch long on my temple, and it would scar, but my hair could hide it easily. I did have a slight concussion, but it wasn't that bad. They didn't give us any prescriptions; just bandaged us up and gave us a few pain-killers. All we had to do was take it easy for a few days.

The good news about being stuck in the hospital was that we were able to fill each other in on what had happened during the fight, which was a good thing for me because to be perfectly honest, my memories were a bit hazy. Basically, Dipper had punched Gideon with his own fist so hard that the motion-capture tech had made the robot's head spin out of control. When I cut the wires, the robot had fallen onto the track, hardly hanging on. Our fight had made the cliff start shaking, which caused the bus to come loose and fall. It had hit the robot, knocking it off the track.

We left the hospital at around three. When we got back to the Shack, Soos, Wendy, Candy, Grenda, Abuelita, Wendy's Dad and Brothers, and Wendy's friends were all there waiting to welcome us back. The Shack looked EXACTLY how it was before Gideon took over, the S even on the ground like it had been since the incident with the wax figures.

It was weird to think that that had been a less than a month ago. So much had happened since then. I couldn't wait to see what the rest of summer had in store for us. If the past month was anything to go by, things would get interesting.

It was a long few hours. The guys had done good getting the outside fixed up, but the inside had been so Gideon-ified that you LITERALLY couldn't go anywhere without seeing/smelling/hearing something that reminded us of him.

It took a good four hours, an entire dumpster, and at least $100 worth of air fresheners and scented candles, but eventually the inside of the Shack looked exactly how it had. It still smelled like Gideon a bit, but we had left all the windows and doors open, so the smell should be gone by tomorrow morning.

Speaking of tomorrow, we were going to have a Mystery Shack Grand Re-Opening celebration. And that night we were planning a big party so the town could come celebrate. The Re-Opening was mostly for tourism purposes. All in all, everything worked out fine for us Shackies, but there was still one thing that needed to be discussed.

It was around seven thirty that night. We had gotten the attic set up just how we wanted it when I took the Journal out. "Guys, we need to talk about this."

"What about it? I mean, you got it back from Gideon, right? What's the big deal?" Mabel asked.

"This is about more than just Gideon, isn't it?" Dipper realized. I nodded.

"Look, these past three days have made me realize something. I hate to say this, but Summer is not going to last forever. Gideon was clearly looking for this thing, and we saw how far he went to try to get it. There is something huge going on in this town, and these Journals are related to it. If the past month is anything to go by, things are going to get ten times weirder and more dangerous, and we are gonna need all the help we can get if we want to make it till the end of summer."

"So what are you saying?" Mabel asked. I looked at Dipper and saw the pieces click in his mind.

"You think we should tell Grunkle Stan?"

"I do," I confirmed. "I mean, this guy has been living in this town for thirty years, and he still says there is nothing weird going on. But we all know that this town isn't normal, and I think that in order to have a chance, he has to believe us about the craziness we've been saying."

"You're right," Dipper said, taking the Journal from me. "And who knows? Maybe he knows something about them that he's not telling us."

"You kids okay up here?" Speak of the devil, Grunkle Stan walked in just then to check on us. As Mabel answered him, Dipper and I shared a look, deciding that we would tell Grunkle Stan the truth.

"Hey, Grunkle Stan? We've been talking and think it's time we finally show you something." Grunkle Stan came over and sat on the bed, flipping through the Journal. "It's a Journal that we found in the woods a month ago. It has info on all of the craziness that has been going on that we've told you about. Gideon almost destroyed the whole town to get all of them. We don't know what they mean or who wrote them or where the others are, but after everything that's happened, we felt that it was finally time that you should know about it."

I had been watching Grunkle Stan's face the entire time Dipper had been explaining. His poker face was rock solid, so it was hard to tell what he was thinking. "I'm glad you kids showed me this," he said, closing the Journal. I REALLY need to work on reading people. The way he said it made it seem like we were about to get some answers, but that was SO not what happened. Instead, Grunkle Stan burst out laughing.

"Now I know where you kids have been getting it all from! Spookums and Monsters! This stupid book is filling your heads with crazy conspiracies!" SERIOUSLY?! After EVERYTHING that's happened, he STILL didn't believe it! Something is messed up in that man's head! "You gotta quit reading this fantasy stuff for your own good! Although, some of these would make great attractions! Mind if I borrow this?" Before we could answer, he stood up and walked out, laughing the entire time.

"It's all real!" "We need it!" Dipper and I called after him.

"Guys, seriously?" Mabel asked. "You don't need that book, and Grunkle Stan doesn't have to believe you guys. You defeated Gideon on your own, no journal and no help. You're heroes no matter what!"

She was right. We could do things on our own. We didn't need help from anyone or anything. "Thanks Mabel," Dipper told her.

"I still want it back though," I added. It had caused us a lot of trouble, but it had also saved our lives, and it had information that was important. Not to mention, it was like own our personal scrapbook; all the memories were written in there.

"I'm sure you'll get it back," Mabel assured us. "Grunkle Stan doesn't even believe in 90% of what's in there. What is he gonna-"

The door flew open and Soos ran in, spraying us with squirt guns. We got up and chased after him, but I was still thinking about everything. What was so special about those Journals that Gideon wanted so badly? I realized that the answer must be in the other books, but we had no idea where they were. For all we knew, they could be on the other side of the planet or in a different dimension. We might not ever find the other books, but we could start looking for the author. But that could wait until tomorrow. Mysteries were all well and good, but family is the best thing of all.

 **Stan's POV**

 _Snoring, no pen clicking, no oinks; Good, the kids are asleep._ I snuck away from the door to the attic and went downstairs to my office. I grabbed a lantern and Journals 2 & 3\. I couldn't believe the kids had 3 all this time and hadn't told me, but it didn't matter. I had it. Now I could do what I had been trying to do for 30 years.

I walked out of my office and to the gift shop. I walked up to the vending machine and put in the code. It slid open a bit and I walked through, making sure no one was watching me. When I was SURE it was clear, I closed the machine and walked down the stairs to the top level of the basement.

I opened the control panel to the elevator and put in four symbols, then hit the down button and walked into the elevator, going down to the bottom level of the basement. The door opened and I walked into the control room. I grabbed a chair and pulled myself up to the work table, placing Journals 2 & 3 on the desk before sliding open the cover of the hidden shelf.

"I can't believe that after all these years I FINALLY have them all," I said to myself, pulling Journal 1 off the shelf. I opened all three books to the pages with the blueprints, then put them together, 1 on bottom, 2 and 3 above on the right and left, respectively. I slid over to a control panel and hit a few buttons, putting in some data. I went back and forth between the blueprint and panel a few times, but eventually, it started working. The portal was activated.

"I-It worked," I said to myself, running into the portal room. It was a triangle, pointing down, with a large circle in the middle. There were four giant lights on the floor and in the ceiling. Blue lights outlined everything. I grabbed the power lever and used all my strength to do what I had been trying for thirty years. It finally moved to the left, turning the portal on.

Blue sparks came from the center circle, flying out everywhere. Beams came from the blue lights, connecting to each other like lasers. The lights on the floor and ceiling came on, along with the center circle, bathing the room in a blinding white light. Most people would have covered their eyes, but I didn't even flinch; I had been waiting for this moment for thirty years, and I wasn't going to miss a second of it. All I did was put my hands on my hips and smile to myself. "Here we go."


	20. Scary-oke

**First off, to those of you who celebrate it, HAPPY THANKSGIVING! I hope you all enjoyed the Thanksgiving Day meals; I know I did. I also hope you all were able to get your Black Friday shopping done; I know things can get crazy that day. Anyway, we are now starting the second season of this story! And in related news; we are halfway done with this story! I don't know if that is good or bad, but who cares! It's the holidays! But before we get into the chapter, you know the drill…**

 **Gamelover41592- Dude, you have NO IDEA! I don't know your history with the show, but imagine watching a marathon of all the episodes, having NEVER seen them before, and then watching that scene! It is definitely in my top five for best scenes. Thanks for the review!**

 **Draco Mercer- Thanks for your review! I have debated doing that, but the problem is that I can never figure out the OC. There wouldn't really be anything for them to do, so they would get in the way. Not saying it's a bad idea, but I'm not going to use it.**

 **Fantasy Female Freak- Thanks for all of your reviews! Talk about a holiday present! I'm glad you liked the story so far, and I can't wait to give you more. GFF stand for Gravity Falls Forever, but you were close. I'm sorry you don't like Alex; if you could pinpoint what you don't like about him, I'll try to work on it a bit. The senior triplets idea; look at the response to Draco Mercer. As for Billow; It's a good idea, so I might use it in the future, but I'm not going to promise anything in this story.**

 **Miss Tri- One of the other reviewers, Cinnabon68, suggested a few chapters ago that I tell the whole story from Willow's POV, so that's what I've been trying to do. There still are times where other perspectives need to be shown, but I've been trying to limit them. I'm glad you think I am doing better with character development; it's something I'm trying to work on, so I'm glad it's coming out right. Thanks for all of your advice; the improvements are a result of you and the other advice I've been given.**

 **Disclaimer: I only own Willow and anything you don't recognize from the show. Everything else came from Alex Hirsch.**

* * *

 **Stan's POV (July 16th)**

"Here we go." I smiled to myself and put my hands on my hips, barely believing that this moment had FINALLY come. "Thirty long years and it's all led up to this: My greatest achievement!" I looked down and realized that I probably should have put on pants.

The portal surged and sparked, hitting my head and lighting my fez on fire. I reached up and patted it out. "Feisty. I like it," I said, walking back into the control room. I glanced down at the Journals I had open to the blueprints page and adjusted some of the settings. A screen in the ceiling slid open, showing scan data. I didn't understand half of it, but that didn't matter. "If I finally pull this off it'll all have been worth it. I just have to keep playing it cool. If anyone finds out about this…"

I trailed off, noticing the picture I had on the shelf of me and the kids fishing a month ago. They had had Journal 3 since the beginning of summer and had just shown it to me a few hours ago. I was mostly worried about American officials, but… "Yeah right. I've come this far. Who could catch me now?"

I grabbed a glove and slid it on my hand, the far finger hole empty. I grabbed a lever and set it at MAX POWER. Now that this thing was up and running, things were going to get interesting. But as long as no one found out, things would work out how I had planned.

 **Powers' POV**

"Sir!" Agent Trigger called me over to the screen he was monitoring. I walked over and looked at the screen. It was showing a red line that would occasionally spike like a heart monitor in a hospital. But if my assumptions were correct, this was something FAR more dangerous and destructive.

"I haven't seen ratings like that in over 30 years," I muttered to Trigger. I grabbed another agent, Agent Gunner, as he walked by. "Have the men get ready to move out," I told him. He nodded and walked off as I turned back to the screen. Trigger had traced the signal and the screen was showing a map of the Pacific Northwest, a red dot in the area near Malheur National Forest. I knew of only one place in that general area that would be causing power surges like the ones we were seeing.

"Just as I suspected," I said, bringing a Google Earth image of the town onto the big screen and turning to the other agents. "Gentlemen; Move out! We're going to Gravity Falls!"

 **Willow's POV**

"Welcome to the grand re-opening of the Mystery Shack!" The best words I have ever heard. Things were finally getting back to normal. Mabel, Dipper, Grunkle Stan and I were standing on the counter, a bunch of tourists crammed into the gift shop for the celebration. The Shack itself was exactly how it had been before Gideon took over, smell and all. Leaving the doors open last night had helped air it out; the familiar forest smell was back.

But things weren't 100% the same. I mean, the Shack itself was, but the people living here weren't. It wasn't just my head and Dipper's nose that were different. The past three days had taken its toll mentally; paranoia had set in. Grunkle Stan's guns, usually kept locked up in his room, were now scattered around the house, one in each room. Mabel usually slept with Waddles in her bed, but she had decided to leave him downstairs at night as a guard-pig. Dipper had started watching karate videos online to help with his fighting. I had plans going for a new security system so no one else could sneak in without us knowing. It was weird doing this, but we all felt it necessary.

"We're here to celebrate the defeat of that skunk Gideon," Grunkle Stan continued, holding a picture of him up. The tourists all booed. Stan reached into his pocket and took out a lighter, setting fire to the photo, making the tourists boo harder. "But I didn't catch that pork-chop all alone. These kids deserve SOME of the glory!" Mabel elbowed him in the ribs. "Okay, okay. MOST of the glory!"

"Smile for the camera!" Toby Determined said, holding up a cinder block.

"Your camera's a cinder block Toby," Grunkle Stan told him.

"Smile for a REAL camera," Shandra Jimenez told us, giving Toby a look. We all smiled and posed for the camera, doing a few real photos and a few goofy ones. Grunkle Stan reached under the counter and pulled out some flyers.

"And don't forget to come to the After-Party tonight at eight!" He called, passing the flyers around. Mabel reached down and pulled a karaoke machine up onto the counter with us.

"We're doing a karaoke bonanza people! Lights, music, enchantment! And an amazing karaoke performance by our family band; Love Patrol Alpha!"

"No way that is happening." "I didn't know about this." "I never would have agreed to that," the boys and I told her. I mean, we weren't BAD singers, but Mabel would pick the worst song in the book for us to perform.

"Too late! I wrote our names on the list! It's happening!" Mabel said as Wendy came in, blowing an air-horn to sell tickets. The tourists all followed her out, leaving the four of us alone. Grunkle Stan sighed happily and leaned against the counter.

"The town loves us, we got that Gideon smell out of the carpet, things are finally going our way," he said, mostly to himself. Dipper and I looked at each other, Dipper holding up three fingers. I nodded, understanding what he meant.

"Hey, Grunkle Stan. Now that we have a minute, do you mind if we got our Journal back?" Dipper asked him.

"Journal?" Grunkle Stan repeated, patting himself down. A light went off in his brain and he reached behind the counter, pulling the Journal out and handing it to Dipper. "Old thing was so boring I couldn't even finish it!" Call it intuition, or I was just getting better at reading people, but something about that didn't seem right.

"Thanks Grunkle Stan," I told him, and, thinking quickly, added, "We're gonna go start getting ready for the party tonight!" Before anyone could say anything, I grabbed Dipper and Mabel's hand and pulled them upstairs.

"What's this about this time?" Mabel asked me as I closed the window. I looked at Dipper, seeing in his eyes that he was on the same page as me.

"We're a month into the summer and still not any closer to solving the big mysteries of this place," Dipper started out.

"We've never really searched yet, but Gideon almost destroyed the whole town trying to find these, and we don't know why," I added, the two of us pacing around each other.

"Who wrote them? Where are the other two?"

"What did Bill mean when he said 'everything was going to change?'"

"There's something huge going on right under our noses and it's time we stop goofing around and get to the bottom of it."

"You guys have read that thing like a bazillion times each. There's nothing left! Half the pages are blank anyway!" Mabel told us. That was the weirdest part: The writing stopped around mid-winter 30 years ago, and we had no idea why.

"We know. But I have a feeling that we're just one, or two, more puzzle pieces away from figuring out everything."

"Don't worry about it! Lord Mystery Ham is on the case!" Mabel announced, holding up Waddles. In a British accent, she said, "I play by my own rules! Wot Wot?"

"Why do we tell you things?" Dipper asked her.

"Because I-" Car doors slammed shut from outside. We went to the window and pulled the curtains back. In the parking lot, there were a BUNCH of Government agents walking around outside, most of them focused on the building.

"What did Grunkle Stan do this time?" I said jokingly.

"THE MYSTERY SHACK IS NOW CLOSED! EVERYBODY OUT! I WILL NOT HESITATE TO USE THE HOSE ON THE ELDERLY!" Grunkle Stan voice came from downstairs. The three of us glanced at each other and ran down the steps, getting to the gift shop as the last tourists were leaving. Grunkle Stan was pacing around, rubbing his hands together nervously, both things that he only did when he was being interrogated.

"Grunkle Stan, what going on? You never shut down the gift shop?" Before he could answer, the doorbell rang, and someone knocked a few times. Grunkle Stan walked over and opened the door.

"Welcome to the Mystery Shack gentlemen! What can I get you? Key chains? Snow globes? These rare photos of American presidents?" This couldn't be good. The FEDS had showed up, and Grunkle Stan was trying to BRIBE them. He must have done something major.

"My name is Agent Powers; this is Agent Trigger," one of the agents said. "We're here to investigate reports of mysterious activity in this town."

"Mysterious activity? In the Mystery Shack? You gotta be joking!"

"I assure you I am not. I was born with a rare disorder that makes me physically incapable of experiencing humor."

"Ten bucks says these guys are robots," I whispered to the others as Grunkle Stan started laughing nervously.

"I don't understand that sound you're making with your mouth," Agent Powers said, walking into the gift shop. He had thinning black hair, bushy eyebrows, and a thick mustache. "Now if you'll excuse us we are conducting an investigation."

"Investigation!" Agent Trigger emphasized, poking Stan in the chest and following Agent Powers in. He had light brown hair and his chin and cheekbones were very accentuated. Both men were wearing all black suits with American flag pins on the lapel, an earpiece in their right ears.

"Did you guys say you were investigating the mysteries of this town?" Dipper asked them, the two of us stepping forward to meet the agents.

"That information is classified," Agent Powers said, kneeling down next to us. "But yes. Between us, I believe there is a conspiracy of paranormal origin all connected to this town. We're just one small lead away from blowing the lid off this entire mystery."

"Are you kidding? We're investigating the same thing! We found a journal in the woods that has almost all the answers! If we work together, we could crack the case!" Agent Powers glanced back at Agent Trigger and reached into his jacket.

"If you kids have evidence of these claims, we should talk," he stated, handing us a card with his number on it.

"We could talk right now! Please, please, come in! We have so much to show you!" Before we could get anywhere, Grunkle Stan grabbed our shoulders and stopped us.

"I'm sorry agents! These kids have an overactive imagination, and you can see that they aren't in the best shape right now." Subconsciously, Dipper touched his nose and I rubbed my temple. "The medicine is messing with their brains. Paranormal town stuff is just part of gift shop lore. Sells more tickets ya know?" He snapped and Soos walked up, putting alien headbands and Mystery Shack bumper stickers on the agents.

"We have other spots to investigate. We'll be on our way," Agent Powers said, walking towards the door. Agent Trigger reached up to one of the shelves and grabbed like ten bobbleheads.

"I'm confiscating these for evidence," he stated, turning on his heel and marching out after Powers. Dipper and I each turned to Grunkle Stan, glaring at him.

"I'm sorry kids, but trust me. The last thing you want around during a party are cops," he told us, reaching up onto the vending machine. It moved a bit, but that was probably because he took a box labeled CONTRABAND off it. He took the card and put it in the box. "I'm confiscating that card. Now why don't you start acting like normal kids for once. Go get ready for the party tonight. And don't go talking to those agents." He walked into the living room, taking the box and card with him.

"That could have been our big break," Dipper whispered. Why would no one tell us the truth? But I guess it was good that the agents were investigating the whole town, not just here. That meant Grunkle Stan was in the clear.

"Guys, maybe Grunkle Stan is right. We're having a party tonight! Can't you go one day without searching for aliens or raising the dead or whatever?" Mabel told us.

"When have we ever done either or those things?" I asked, although something felt weird. It was like déjà vu, but I didn't know what was causing it; this had never happened before. I shrugged it off; this town was messed up. "We're not gonna raise the dead or anything. We just need to show the agents the Journal."

"Trust me guys. The only thing you need tonight is right here!" She held up a karaoke book and handed it to us. "I say kara-, you say -oke! Kara-… Kara-… Kara-… I could do this all day!" She finished when we didn't respond. "So what song do you guys wanna do tonight?"

Mabel started flipping through the book, saying different song names. Dipper and I agreed blindly; our heads were still on the agents.

 **GFF**

"Well the confetti cannon works!" Mabel said excitedly that night, blasting Grunkle Stan with it. Not to pat myself on the back, but we did a great job decorating. A sign reading AFTER PARTY was hung from the Shack above the karaoke equipment. A bunch of snack/drink tables were scattered around outside, different foods and punches on them. A storm was moving in from the ocean, so the clouds were blocking out the moon and stars. But we had put a disco ball and a bunch of lights up in the trees, which made it look really cool. People were going to start showing up any minute, so we were all running around finishing up some stuff. For me and Dipper, that meant putting up posters and black-lights.

"Guys! I figured out the song! T8king Over Midnight!" Mabel called over to us. I shrugged; depending on what part each of us sang, it wouldn't be too bad. I turned back to the wires I was messing with; the black-lights were very old, so I had had to adjust the wiring a bit.

"Back up," I told Dipper, turning the lights on. The posters lit up, revealing the designs that had been hidden. I gotta give Mabel credit; for not being able to see what she was doing, she did pretty good drawings.

"I still can't believe Stan took the card. We finally met someone who could help us, and now we can't even contact them," Dipper said, half to himself. We had tried looking them up online, but we didn't know their first names. You would think it would be easy to find them (Powers and Trigger weren't common surnames), but there was NOTHING about them online, not even on the Government's website. It was as if they didn't exist. We had shrugged it off; they were probably PI's or something.

"Stan must have put it somewhere. His office, maybe?"

"Too easy. He probably put it in his room. But if we go in there and we get caught…"

"We do have the security system I've been working on," I offered. The Shack, being as old as it is, meant that the floorboards were coming loose and were flexible. Especially on the steps. I had (hopefully) made some of them pressure-sensitive, with little bells that would ring in Stan's room and the attic, letting us know when one of them went off.

"You think it'll work?" Dipper asked me.

"No idea, but if it doesn't, what's the worse Stan could do?"

"Okay, yeah. You're right. Let's do it." We snuck into the Shack just as a few cars started pulling into the driveway and ran upstairs to Stan's room. A sign hanging on the door read NO MINORS ALLOWED, pictures of us hanging underneath, a DO NOT DISTURB sign on the doorknob.

"Paranoid, much?" I whispered, grabbing the doorknob. It was locked. I sighed and pulled a bobby pin out of my hair. 20 seconds later, the door was open. We snuck in and closed the door behind us. We split up and started opening random drawers and looking under things for the box. I won't go into too much detail, but let's just say, there are some things you can NEVER forget.

"Where could it be?" I muttered, standing up from under the bed. The bed post I had my hand on moved a bit, causing a portrait of Stan to come away from the wall. "Jackpot! Grab the phone!" I reached into the compartment and pulled out the box, taking the card from it. Dipper took it from me and dialed the number, putting it on speaker.

" _Agent Powers,"_ he answered.

"Hi, um; it's the Pines kids. The ones from the Mystery Shack this morning. We have the Journal we wanted to show you."

" _And you kids are certain this 'journal' will help our case?"_

"Definitely." "One hundred percent."

" _Very well. We're on our way. Agent Trigger and I will meet you outside in-"_ The line went dead. We turned around and saw Grunkle Stan standing behind us, his hand on the housing unit. In hind sight, we probably should have tested the steps first. But it was too late now. Although I was surprised we hadn't heard the floor creaking. Grunkle Stan could be really quiet when he wanted to.

"Why did you kids call those agents? I've told ya a hundred times; there's nothing 'supernatural' going on in Gravity Falls!"

"Yes, there is! After everything that's happened, you have to know that by now!"

"Oh really? I've been living here 30 years! You kids have barley been here 30 days! Don't you think I would know if there was something weird going on in this town? Go enjoy the rest of the party, cause when it's over, you're grounded." He grabbed us by the shoulders and pushed us out of his room and down the steps. We looked at each other, then I went back upstairs to the attic to grab the Journal. While I was in there, the bell I had set up started going off. I ran back downstairs to where Dipper was waiting for me.

"Did you hear the bell?' He asked. I nodded. "I guess Stan must have just skipped over those steps on his way up."

"Probably, yeah. But hey; at least we know it works now. Let's go wait for the agents to show up." We ran outside and up the driveway. They were waiting for us at the end of it. They must have set up close by to have been able to get here so fast.

"Guys, we are so glad to see you. Trust us; this book is what you've been looking for. If we work together, we can solve the mysteries of this place." I handed the Journal to them and they started flipping through it. The weird feeling I had from earlier today came back, but I shrugged it off again, although it was harder this time.

"So what are we thinking? A full-scale investigation, maybe? Forensics, research, helicopters?" The agents glanced at each other before handing the Journal back to me.

"Kids, we'd love to believe you, but this just looks like more junk from your uncle's gift shop." COME ON?! WHY DID NO ONE BELIEVE US ABOUT ANYTHING?! What does it take to get the truth?

"I SWEAR it's all real! You guys should 'send it to the lab' or something like that," I told them. These terms were really confusing sometimes.

"Sorry, but it looks to me like your uncle was right about that overactive imagination. I hope you get better, but there's not enough evidence for that thing to be credible. If you find something else, you can call us back, but until then, I'm sorry."

"Guys, wait! This book is real!" I yelled to their backs, flipping through the pages. I got to the section of spells. That would show them! "Listen! _Corpus levitus! Diablo Dominium! Mondo Vicium!"_ I knew _diablo_ was Latin for Devil, but I didn't know what the rest of it meant. The wind picked up and the air got at least ten degrees colder in a matter of seconds. The ground started shaking again. After a month of living here, I could now tell that it wasn't a natural earthquake; that spell had done something.

"LOOK OUT!" Agent Trigger yelled to us. The ground beneath our feet split open, a radioactive green light coming out of it. We jumped away and ran over to the agents, watching as the crack got bigger. A cloud of green dirt flew up, causing us to choke and cough. After a few seconds, we looked back at the crack in the ground.

Something grabbed the edge of the crack. It was a hand. But it was far from normal. There was a huge chunk missing in the palm, and what was left was a weird greenish color. The thing the hand was attached to appeared. The whole thing was a sickly green color, all skin and bones, and the top layer of skin on the head missing, revealing the brain. One eye was a radioactive yellow, the other dangling from the socket. This was perfect!

"See, Zombie! Journal 100% real! Now can we work together?" Dipper asked them. They started freaking out, Agent Powers grabbing a huge rock. They seriously didn't have any weapons on them? I thought all government guy had weapons on them at all times.

"Guys, chill. We see stuff like this every day. Let's see… how to-" FYI: ZOMBIES MOVE FAST! The one had crawled all the way over to us and got right in front of us. Also; it's breath STANK! We both screamed, but before the zombie could do anything, Agent Powers brought the rock down on its head, knocking it out.

"Good thing it was just the one." I (mentally) face-palmed. The ground shook again, more cracks appearing in the ground. More dust got kicked up, blinding us for the longest ten seconds of my life. When we were able to see again, a good twenty zombies had shown up, more coming each second.

"You guys can help, right?!" We asked the agents. Believe it or not, they looked more panicked than we did.

"Kids, we've been chasing the paranormal for years, but we've never seen anything like this before!" Agent Powers, yelled, lifting his rock up above his head as Agent Trigger pulled us behind him. What happened next will stay with me forever.

Two of the zombies jumped, tackling the agents to the ground. After a few second of wrestling, two zombies dragged Agent Trigger away by the arms, while two others dragged Agent Powers away, one by the legs, the other at his head.

"What have we done?" I whispered, staring at the Journal, knowing full well what had just happened; we, no, _I,_ sent two men to their graves. The zombies, now up to maybe 50 total, all turned to look at us. What else we you do besides run? Dipper and I took off, running back to the Shack. Everyone at the party was running around, jumping into vehicles and flying down the driveway. Soos, Mabel, and Waddles were the only ones left. As soon as they saw us being chased by the zombies, Mabel marched over.

"What's the one thing I asked you guys NOT to do tonight?"

"Raise the dead," we responded.

"And WHAT did you do?"

"Raise the dead," we responded again as the horde started closing in on us. We all backed up against the wall, Soos in front to protect us.

"Stay back dudes; this is about to get intense." One of the zombies flipped over a table, splashing all of us in punch. We all screamed, but Soos pulled out his phone and took a picture. "You gotta admit this is pretty cool!"

"DUCK!" One of the zombies had grabbed a piece of wood and had swung it sideways at us, barley missing the tops of our heads.

"Stay calm dudes. I've been training for this moment my whole life," Soos told us, turning around, _away_ from the zombies. "With all the horror movies I've watched, I literally know everything there is to know about avoiding zombies." Just as he finished speaking, a zombie bit down on his shoulder. In five seconds, he looked just like the others, although he could still talk. "Second thought, gonna flip the script. Can I, eat your brains? Yea or nay? Seeing some yea faces over here…" We all screamed again and ran around the side of the building, noticing the golf cart, the keys dangling from the ignition.

"We can use the golf cart to-" A few zombies flipped it over and started biting into it. "COME ON!"

"That's a bummer. Good news for me though," Soos said from behind us. On instinct, I grabbed the closest thing I could and threw it at the horde. It was a light-up disco ball, and one of the zombies swallowed it, sending weird light patters around.

"Where's Grunkle Stan?" Mabel asked, looking around for him. Like he could help anything! He didn't even believe in this stuff! More zombies started closing in, so we turned around and ran towards the door of the gift shop. We dove in and slammed the door, then started grabbing anything and everything we could to board it up. The door kept bulging, but it held.

"That should hold them for-" The window crashed open, glass going everywhere. Soos poked his head in.

"Hey dudes! I showed the zombies how to open the fuse box!" Great! The lights went out, the only thing letting us see was the little light that was coming from the window, which zombies were now crawling through. I ran over to the door to the main part of the house, but a zombie hand burst through, making me fall back, causing the Journal to fall out of my jacket. Dipper and I tore it open, flipping through the pages a mile a minute, but nothing showed up.

"DAMNIT!" I yelled, slamming the Journal shut, "I wanted the truth so bad I put everyone in danger and now we're here and it's all my fault!"

"It's my fault too! I wanted answers just as badly as you did! This can't be happening! I can't believe we don't have a way to-" A zombie grabbed his arm and lifted him up, just as two others grabbed me and Mabel. We all screamed. My life flashed, 90% of the memories being about this summer. We had tried so hard to get the Shack back from Gideon, and now, because of one stupid mistake _I_ made, we were all gonna die. The zombie opened its mouth and leaned in to bite me and-

I dropped like a sack of potatoes. A few thuds later, we looked up from the ground to see Grunkle Stan standing over us, his knuckles glittering, a baseball bat in his hand, panting and torn up, but alive and fighting. Maybe it was the light coming from the vending machine or outside, but Grunkle Stan's eyes, normally a light brown, looked like the color of flames.

"KIDS! ATTIC! _NOW!"_ He didn't have to tell us twice. We took off, running up the steps, not glancing back. We could still hear Grunkle Stan yelling and the sound of something hitting the zombies. We ran up to the attic and slammed the door. The only light was coming from a black-light that was on the floor. The bell from my security system was ringing like crazy. Something crashed from outside, the grandfather clock making noise. Everything went silent for a few seconds. Then something started banging on the door. It flew open, revealing Grunkle Stan, grabbing his side, the 'fire' in his eyes reduced to hot coals.

"Everything hurts," he muttered, slamming the door and putting a chair under the handle. We all started talking over each other at once, checking to make sure everyone was okay. After ten seconds, we calmed down, but there was still something.

"At least you can't deny magic exists anymore, right?" I said to him. A beat of pin-drop silence passed, in that time at least twenty different emotions played out on his face. He squared his should and looked directing at us, saying four words so quietly that it was hard to hear, even with the room dead silent.

"Kids; I've always known." WHAT?! I mean, I guess it makes sense; he would have to actually be blind to have not noticed anything. But the fact that he had kept this a secret from us all this time… Trust was gonna be hard from now on.

"I'm not an idiot kids. Of course this town is weird! And if I know one thing about that weirdness is that it's dangerous!" A zombie hand punched through the door. We all backed up to the far side of the room. "I've been lying about it to try to keep you away from it. To try to protect you from it!" The glass in the window behind us shattered, a zombie poking its head in. Stan punched it, knocking it down, then looked out the window. "It looks like I didn't lie well enough."

"We can come back to this later. Right now, we have to figure out a way to defeat these zombie guys! Any ideas?" Mabel asked. Dipper started flipping through the Journal again, pacing and muttering to himself.

"Normally the Journal would help us, but there's nothing in here on defeating zombies! It's hopeless!" At the last sentence, he got angry and threw the Journal onto the ground. It was open to the page on zombies, but it was different. White letters and diagrams now covered the black text. It also had a faint purple-ish glow, like the black-light that was shining on it. We all crowded around the Journal, Dipper reading the newly revealed writing.

"'Zombies have a weakness! Previously thought to be invincible, their skulls can be shattered by a perfect four-part harmony.' Four-part harmony? How can we create that?"

"I think I have an idea!" Mabel said excitedly, holding up her karaoke machine. It looked like she was gonna get her family song after all.

We climbed out the window and onto the roof, looking down at the zombies who were milling around below. Mabel turned on her microphone, tapping it a few times. "Testing, testing… everyone hearing me?" All of the zombies looked up at us, the rest filing out of the Shack. I would have said there were probably 100 of them out there. "Attention, zombies and gentlemen! I'm Mabel, they're Dipper, Willow and Stan, and together we're Love Patrol Alpha!"

"I never agreed to that name!" Dipper told her as I turned the machine on, the song coming out of it.

"Mabel, our lives might not be worth this," Grunkle Stan muttered to Mabel as Dipper started singing awkwardly. I mean, it sounded okay; he had a good tenor voice, but you could tell that he was uncomfortable with the words.

"' _Friday night, we're gonna party 'til dawn. Don't worry Daddy…_ I've got my favorite DRESS on?' Mabel, this is stupid!" He yelled to Mabel, covering the mic with his hand. Mabel shrugged and started singing.

"' _We roll into the party the boys are lookin' our way. We just keep dancing; We don't care what they say!"_ Mabel did better than Dipper, probably because she was actually into the song.

"' _The girls and I are loving this place, but all the boys are getting up in our face.'"_ I think I did pretty good, but it wasn't working. The zombies had even started climbing up the side of the Shack. "Guys, we have to sing together or it won't work!"

" _Boys are a bore, let's show 'em the door…"_ Grunkle Stan sang that part. For all his reluctance, his bass voice was actually pretty good. We all looked at each other and sang the chorus together.

" _We're takin' over the dance floor!"_ It worked like a charm. A sound wave went out, the heads of the zombies on the Shack all exploding as one, the bodies plummeting to the ground. It was kind of gross, but it encouraged us to keep going with it. _"'Oh-oh! Girls do what we like! Oh-oh! We're takin' over tonight!"_ Another sound wave went out, exploding at least a third of the remaining zombies. _"We're queens of the disco! Oh-oh! Girls do what we like! Oh-oh! We're taking over tonight!"_ A final sound wave went out, reducing the number down to ten or fifteen.

" _Takin' over toniiiight!"_ Dipper sang that part as the instrumental end of the song started playing. A zombie crawled onto the roof and swung at Dipper.

"DUCK!" Mabel yelled, aiming her confetti cannon. We hit the deck and she fired, knocking the head off the zombie and into the punch bowl as the body fell to the ground. "Thank you! We'll be here all night!"

"Deal with it zombie idiots!" Grunkle Stan yelled, picking us up in a hug. He set us back down and we all started chanting. "PINES! PINES! PINES!"

 **GFF (July 17th)**

"Grunkle Stan, I found your fez," Mabel called from behind his chair. We were in the living room, examining the damage. It was actually better than it looked. There were a few things that had gotten destroyed, but most of that was either party decorations or cheap knick-knacks that were scattered around. Most of the mess was zombie limbs or guts or brains. I have to admit; it was kind of gross. Then I remembered that I was the one who had so badly wanted the truth that I used the spell to summon them.

"Guys, I'm sorry about this. I wanted the truth so bad, so I used the spell. It's all my fault," I whispered. Dipper patted me on the shoulder.

"Wills, if you hadn't done that, I would have done the same thing. It's not your fault."

"He's right. It's mine." We all turned to look at Grunkle Stan. He came over and bent down next to us, looking each of us in the eye, especially me and Dipper. "If I had told you the truth, none of that would have happened. I'm sorry I lied, but I _honestly_ thought it would keep you kids safe. I don't know what I'd do with myself if you got hurt on my watch. I'll let you hold on to your Journal, but you need to be careful. You have to promise me that you will only use it for self-defense and not go looking for trouble."

"And you promise us that you don't have anymore bombshell secrets about this town."

"Promise." All of us said that at the same time, although Dipper and I crossed our fingers. Now that we knew about the hidden writing, we could really start investigating this place. Grunkle Stan pulled us in for a quick hug, then we separated and started looking around again.

"We have got a lot of zombie damage to clean up. Where's my handyman anyway?" I face-palmed; in all the chaos, we had forgotten about Soos. As if his name had called him, he stumbled into the room, arms out and saying brains like in all the zombie movie clichés. "HOLY MOSES!" Grunkle Stan grabbed a chair and lifted it above his head. I stepped in front of him as Dipper flipped through the Journal.

"There's a page in here about curing zombification. It's gonna take a lot of formaldehyde,"

"And cinnamon!" Mabel added, looking at the page over Dipper's shoulder. She started pushing Soos out of the room, him still muttering about brains. Dipper and I walked into the hallway after them and stopped halfway down, near an electrical outlet with a black-light still plugged in. I reached down and pulled it out of the wall.

"Give me a few hours. I'll modify it to be portable," I told him. He nodded, flipping through the pages.

"I can't believe the authors secrets were hiding in plain sight all this time. A whole new chapter of mysteries to explore…" We split up, him going to help Mabel de-zombie-fy Soos, me heading towards my workshop. I sat down at the bench and put the black-light down, staring at it, a million things going through my head.

 _What else are we going to find?_ The Author stopped writing for an unknown reason. Would we get answers with this? Was it worth the risk? What was so important that the Author felt the need to hide something using invisible ink?

 _Are the agents okay?_ I had only known them for a day, but… watching somebody get dragged away by zombies, knowing that you were the one to cause it… I grabbed a razor blade and carved their names into the table, along with today's date, then started staring at it.

 _What is going to happen with the rest of summer?_ So much has happened this past month, and that was just natural. We hadn't planned on any of it. Now that we had this new information, and we started looking for the Author, chances were high that we would run into something dangerous.

That made me remember the 'deal' we had made with Grunkle Stan. He had 'promised' that he didn't have any other bombshell secrets. But he had lied to us once, and we bought it. I was worried about him lying again and us not being able to tell. It had happened before. I glanced back to the black-light, the image of a Journal page popping into my head. Three words stood out, bigger than all the others.

 _Trust no one!_


	21. Into the Bunker

**First off happy holidays. Now, I am going out of town for a week, so internet connection will be spotty at best. So I'll make you guys a deal; We reach 100 reviews with this chapter, and I'll give you a double update for New Year's. Sound fair? Now that that's out of the way, since Alex is in this chapter, I had to adjust some parts of the episode; it will be a bit different, but the general principles are the same. Now shout outs!**

 **Fantasy Female Freak- I didn't take offense to the Alex thing (I try not to take offense to anything) so don't worry about it. Trust me, I'll work on him. This chapter, and something I have planned for later should be interesting. I checked out that story you mentioned; the only reason I DIDN'T review was because anything I said would be SO inappropriate, I would be arrested. Your Thanksgiving sounded like it was interesting; mine consisted of a Gravity Falls marathon and tickle attacks (don't ask). I hope you enjoy this chapter.**

 **Gamelover41592- Thanks for your review; trust me, her suspicions and 'TRUST NO ONE' mentality will play a HUGE part coming up soon.**

 **Miss Tri- I get what you're saying, so I'll try to work on it. And I know I've said this before, but thank you for all the advice/tips/everything else you've given me; I owe you BIG TIME!**

 **Cleo- Thanks for your review; things are going to start getting interesting!**

 **Disclaimer; I only own Willow, Alex, and anyone/anything else that was not in the episode. Everything else belongs to Alex Hirsch/Disney.**

* * *

 **Dipper's POV (July 17th)**

I was at Wendy's house. We were watching a movie called _Nearly Almost Dead but Not Quite._ It was about zombies, but it wasn't as scary as I had remembered it. I didn't care, but I wanted to ask Wendy out on a date. I didn't know when, or what I was gonna say but I had to try something.

"What do we do, Chadley? I thought they were dead!"

"Far worse Trixandra! They're… Nearly Almost Dead but Not Quite." If I was ever going to ask her out I needed to lead up to it in a conversation, so I tried to start one.

"These movies ate a lot less scary when you've actually fought real zombies." Wendy nodded.

"There're slow! Just power-walk away from them!" She yelled at the TV. She sounded like my dad, yelling about either politics or football. But when you grow up with all boys, I guess that would happen.

"I bet Chadley dies first." I said. Just then we heard a chomping noise.

"My face is being eaten a lot." It came from Chadley and I smiled. We both laughed.

"Chadley ain't pretty no more." She said, just as her phone buzzed. "Another text from Robbie." Perfect, now I had to deal with that before I asked her.

"Oh, yeah! Robbie. How's, uh, how's all that going." I was trying to see if she was still into him without asking her.

"I'm over him," Yes! "I wish he was over me." No! I have competition. "Just look at these texts." Wendy held out her phone for me to see. There were a bunch of texts from Robbie with weird emoji's. "Winky frown? What does that even mean?" As she was backing out of her phone I saw a text from her dad that said, 'Why can't you be a man like Vermin Supreme?' I had no idea who that was and I had a feeling that I didn't want to. I decided to just ignore that for now.

"And you're not like, seeing any other guys or…" Was I being too obvious? I hope not.

"Of course I am," Uh oh. "Meet my new boyfriend dude!" She held up the stuffed animal I bought for her after I couldn't win her one at the fair. I wasn't sure if that was a good sign, or a terrible sign. I had to ask her out now before I get to nervous and crash. I fake laughed trying to hide my feelings.

"Right, right. So, I was wondering if maybe you wanted to maybe if," Just ask her, "You know, you and me, whatever." Just say do you want to go to a movie with me this Saturday, "I mean if maybe you," I can't do it. "wanted to come with me and the girls on this mystery hunt tomorrow? Conspiracy stuff and all that?" She gave me a funny look.

"Yeah, dude. I love doing junk with friends." I couldn't believe that just happened.

"Yeah that's what we are." I pulled a note out of my pocket that I had wrote when I was trying to figure out what to say when I asked her out. It was a waste of time. "That's all we'll ever be." I crumpled the note up and stuffed it back in my pocket. "Friends." I lied down on her bed.

"Dude, you're lying on my bra." She said. I screamed then laughed.

 **Willow's POV**

"Where is he?"

"Relax, he'll be here." Mabel told me. We were in the living room watching Duck-Tective. Well, Mabel was watching. I was pacing around, looking through the curtains to see if he had shown up yet. I had made sure to take the bandages off my head, just so he wouldn't freak out.

"He said he'd be here at 4:30. It's 4:45."

"Why is he coming here anyway?" Mabel asked.

"It's his birthday tomorrow."

"Shouldn't you go to see him if it's his birthday?"

"Grunkle Stan wouldn't let me. He had to tell his parents he didn't want any presents this year if he could come and see me."

"That's sweet. And stupid. For our birthday I'm gonna ask for a roller coaster, a unicorn, a kitten, a sparkle gun, a bunny, another pig, a dog…" I started to zone her out, and a few seconds later I heard a knock on the door.

"He's here!" I ran to the door and yanked open the door and immediately hugged him as tight as I could. "I love you."

"I'm just the pizza guy." He said. I stepped back and looked at him. He was holding 3 giant pizzas and 2 sodas. He was wearing a red shirt and black pants, which I was guessing was is uniform. His name tag said Connor. He had frizzy red hair that made his cap look like it was gonna fall off.

"Oh, yeah, I forgot to tell you I ordered pizza." Mabel said.

"That's $62.71." Connor said. Mabel handed him the money.

"It's a good thing you got here when you did. Another two minutes and this whole thing would have been free." Mabel told him.

"Talking about that, I might have knocked over a statue in your front yard." He told us after Mabel took her stuff.

"What!?" I said.

"And by a statue I mean 6 statues." With that, he slammed the door in my face and ran to his car. I didn't care. Mable went to the living room to go eat her pizza.

"When is he gonna get here?" Great now I'm talking to myself.

"When is who gonna get here?" Someone behind me said. I turned around and saw Alex standing there. I ran over to him and gave him a giant hug. After that I stepped back and looked at him. He was drinking a soda, wearing Grunkle Stan's fez, and one of Soos' question mark shirts.

"When did you get here?"

"Like 15 minutes ago. I snuck in the back way. I kinda raided your fridge… and your Grunkle's room…"

"And Soos' break room." I finished for him.

"No, actually, he saw me in the hallway, made me put this on, then shoved 6 more in my hands, and tried to make me pay $96. I tried to give them back to him, but he told me to keep them, then burped, then left."

"Where are the other ones." I said seeing that his hands were empty.

"I may or may not have thrown them in your fireplace."

"That's why I smelled burning dog poop earlier." I said and he made the stupidest face I had ever seen.

"Anyway I want to do something different tomorrow. Like something you would do even if I wasn't here." He told me.

"Well, Dipper did ask me to go on this special mystery hunt tomorrow, but I told him no because I thought you would want to something else."

"I'm good with a mystery hunt." We walked upstairs so I could call Dipper and tell him that we were in. While I was talking, Alex found the treasure chest. When I was done, he looked up.

"What's in here?" He asked then looked back down and started entering numbers into the 4-digit key code.

"I don't know. It was here when we came. Dipper and I tried to figure out the code but we never did."

"Got it." He said and looked up. "0-6-1-8."

"How did you figure that out."

"618 has been engraved into the walls of this room at least 7 times, it's in the living room at least 3, it's the number that's permanently stuck on the cash register in the gift shop, half of the merchandise costs either $6.18 or $618, it's all over your Grunkle's room, it's the address of this place, and I'm sure you've noticed by now that the numbers on all the remotes in this house go 618-234-579-0. But that's only 3 digits so I added a zero in front of it." He said.

"I don't know how I didn't figure that out before." I said amazed. "Well, what are you waiting for, open it." I said as I knelt beside it. He opened it and we looked inside. There were 5 index cards facing upside down.

"Which one should we read first?" He asked.

I pointed to one and he read it aloud.

" _Little Cathy what a dream. Held her hand made her scream._ " He said. "What do you think that means?"

"I have no idea." I said. We continued to read the cards like that. Me telling him which one to read then him reading it. When we were done, I had ideas about what some of them meant but I didn't want to get any ideas in my head until I knew for sure.

"I'll tell Dipper about them later today and we can talk about them tomorrow." I told Alex. I couldn't wait until tomorrow.

 **GFF (July 18th)**

Dipper was standing by the Journal Tree the next morning. He had Journal 3, the cards that Alex and I found, a lantern, and a bunch of other stuff we might need, and as per my request, had take the bandage off his nose. Like the doctors had said, you could tell it had been broken, but Alex didn't seen to notice. Mabel, Soos, Alex, and I were sitting on a fallen tree. Mabel was punching Soos in the gut because Soos wanted to see if he had 'Abs of Steel.' (He didn't.) Dipper looked upset. I guessed it was because Wendy said she would come but she hadn't showed up yet. Dipper still started the meeting by tapping on his lantern with a pen.

"Thank you all for coming." He said.

"Hey, when there's a mystery, you can count on your sister…-Ey." Mabel said happily. I rolled my eyes. To make it worse Soos tried to make his own.

"That's an amazing rhyme. When you want some, good… When you need a Soos, you… Oh gosh, I don't know." I rolled my eyes again.

"Did you punch him in his head too?" I asked.

"Yeah to see if he has a skull of steal." Alex added.

"ANYWAY!" We pissed Dipper off. If I have to be honest it's fun making him mad. "We're here to solve the number one mystery in Gravity Falls; who wrote this journal? We have two clues. First are the index cards Alex and Willow found. But we need to analyze them one by one. The first one says, 'Little Cathy what a dream. Held her hand made her scream.' What do we think that means?"

"I think it could point to the author. One of the few things we know about him is that he has six fingers. It could make a little kid scared." I said.

"Or it could mean that there is a burrito that can walk and talk. It would freak a little kid out too." Mabel said happily.

"We could call it Bob the Dancing Burrito." Soos said. I had a feeling that those two weren't gonna be much help.

"What is wrong with them?" Alex asked me.

"Next one." Dipper said. "'Never trust a witch. They'll curse your ear and turn you into an immortal goat… so I hear.'"

"When we first read that one I thought of Gompers. It could be possible that a he's a man that was cursed by a witch and turned into a goat." I said.

"And that makes more sense than Bob the Dancing Burrito." Mabel said sarcastically.

"In this town anything could happen." Alex said.

"That is true." Dipper said. "Next one. 'Birthday June 15th. Death day sooner than you think.' This means someone that was born on June 15th is going to die soon. Who do we know that was born on June 15th?" For a few seconds, no one said anything.

"Stan. Duh." Soos said. I gave him a weird look.

"How do you know that?" Mabel asked.

"I do my research." He said and everyone gave him a weird look. "Don't ask."

"So that means that Grunkle Stan is going to die soon. That's fun. Next one." I said. Dipper rolled his eyes and picked up the next card.

"I'll get this thing up and running someday and neither time baby nor the big frilly know it all will stop me." He said.

"I have no idea what that one means." I said. That was the only one that didn't make ANY sense to me.

"It might be a giant baby that rules us all in the future." Mabel said.

"Maybe." I said sarcastically. "But who's the 'big frilly know-it-all'?" I asked.

"I don't know. I have no idea what 'thing' they're talking about either." Dipper said.

"Let's do the last one." Alex said.

"Fear the beast with just one eye." Dipper said. That one was obvious.

"Bill," four of us said at the same time. Alex looked back and forth between us.

"Who's Bill?"

"DON'T ASK!" We all yelled, not wanting to relive _that_ again.

"So we have one clue that leads to a girl named Cathy, one that leads to Gompers, one that leads to Grunkle Stan, one that leads to a Time Baby and a 'Big Frilly Know It All,' and one that leads to Bill. That literally got us nowhere," Dipper recapped, pulling the portable black-light out of his backpack. He turned it on and shined it on a page labeled 'Hiding Spot.' Or, more correctly, 'My Hiding Spot." The black-light had revealed the word 'My,' along with some spiral steps that appeared to circle around the tree.

"Hopefully the second new clue will get us somewhere. According to this new clue we may have found his secret hiding place. We find the author; we learn the answers to everything. We just need to figure out a way to get down there." We all looked at the tree. I walked up to a bush, and started to shake it as if it was going to do something.

"That's not gonna do anything." Alex said.

"We're not gonna get down there. Let's just go home and give up." Mabel said. She had been acting weird lately.

"Just chop it down." I heard someone say from behind me. I turned around and saw Wendy riding on her bike.

"Oh, hey! You came." Dipper said a saw a grin start to appear on his face.

"I'm so stoked about this. I've been wanting to go adventuring with you guys. Beats picking up after my dad at home." Wendy said. Dipper started to mumble nonsense things under his breath. I started to zone them out. Dipper and Mabel started talking I couldn't tell what they were saying, but I could tell that Dipper was mad about something. Wendy had walked over to where Alex and I were standing and started looking for something that could get us down there.

"Is it just me, or does that branch kinda look like a lever?" Wendy said. I looked up and saw what she was pointing to.

"It's just you." Soos said. "It looks like a branch."

"No it does look like a lever." I said. I turned around and looked at Dipper. "Hey, come look at this." I told him.

"I think that branch is a lever." Wendy said.

"Yeah," he turned back around and starting talking to himself. "But how do we get up there…?" I looked back at Wendy. She had taken off her belt, wrapped it around the tree, and clipped it in the back. She used it to started climbing up, the tree. I was surprised by how well it worked.

"Uh, Dipper." I said.

"I'll get Soos to draw up a prototype." He didn't hear me. Wendy was almost at the top of tree. I grabbed Dipper by the shoulder and turned him around.

"What?" He asked. I grabbed his hair and pulled down so his head would go up. When she got to the lever she reached around and grabbed her ax from her belt loop, she swung it over her and brought it down on the lever. I didn't really know why she didn't just use her hand to pull it down, but it worked so whatever.

"Wow!" Mabel and Soos said at the same time.

"My dad made me compete in these lumberjack games when I was little. I won three years in a row." She said, the tree started to shake, like there was an earthquake. Wendy fell and almost landed on me, but landed in the bush, as the tree started to sink down, into the ground, and it took Wendy with it. We had to pull her up, and then stairs started to come out of the trunk of the tree. It looked exactly like it did in the journal.

"Whatever happens down there, we tell no one." Dipper told us. Mabel gave him a thumbs up, Soos turned his hat around, I held my index, and middle fingers together, tapped my lips twice, then saluted him. It was a thing from when we were little that meant you were a Soviet Russian. Alex just saluted him and Wendy zipped her lips, locked them and threw the key at Dipper. I knew that had always been their thing.

"Now, who wants to go first?" Dipper asked.

"I do." A creepy staircase that goes down into and unknown layer. That was totally me. I walked down the stairs to the bottom. There was a door that said, 'Fallout Shelter. Оборотни внутри. Если вы хотите жить, не пройти через эту дверь. Если вы делаете, не сказать, что я вас не предупреждал. Я действительно надеюсь, что тот, кто читает это может читать по-русски.'

"I wonder what that says?" Alex asked. I had no idea, but I loved taking risks.

"I don't know, and I really don't care." I said and grabbed the handle.

"Maybe we shouldn't go in." He said.

"I agree with Alex." Mabel said. I didn't know what was up with her lately. She normally would have gone in first without even thinking. I sighed.

"Okay. Does anyone else think we shouldn't go through the door?" Nobody said anything. It was 4-2. Alex and Mabel were over-ruled. I opened the door, and we went in.

"It's like a fallout shelter or something." Dipper said.

"Well duh." I said and pointed to like 6 different signs that said FALLOUT SHELTER. Wendy walked over to one and took it off the wall.

"This is going over my bed." Wendy said.

"I wouldn't do that. It could carry diseases." Willow said.

"Oh, well." Wendy said. Soos walked over to a giant cabinet that said weapons on it, and opened it.

"Oh my gosh!" He said I had a feeling I didn't want to know what he found. "A Pez dispenser." He said happily. I was right, just not in the sense I thought. Dipper was at a big dresser. That had a bunch of boxes with years on them, from 1980-2070. He was talking to himself again. Mabel had her head in something that looked like a witch's cauldron. I walked over to one that looked just like it. There was some kind of green goo in it. I didn't know what it was but I had a feeling she shouldn't have her face in it.

"Mabel get your head out of there." I said. She popped her head up, and there were fuzzy things on her face.

"Why? There just caterpillars." She asked.

"Oh, there's a weird green goop in this one." I said and pointed to it. I looked around the room and I didn't see Alex. I saw a doorway near a corner, and went in. He was standing in a small room that led nowhere. "What are you doing?" I asked him, he was about to answer, but before he could Dipper called me.

"Hey, guys come here." He said. We walked back outside and went over to where Dipper was holding a can of food that was open.

"This can is still wet. It was probably opened recently." Dipper said.

"Maybe the author is still alive. Down here." Soos said.

"No he can't be that's impossible." Alex said.

"Not necessarily." I said. Now he was acting weird too.

"Come on we would have seen someone down here by now if he is still alive." He said.

"What is up with you?" I asked him. He was about to answer, but we heard banging.

"What was that?" Wendy asked.

"It's probably nothing." Alex said. "We should look for the author down here." Alex said.

"I thought you said he couldn't be alive." I said.

"Did I?" He said.

"How are we gonna find out where the author went?" Dipper asked. I decided to look up. I don't really know why I did that, but I was glad I did. There was a map of a tree, and three different rooms. I figured out where we were, and where the next room was. Closet, bins, shelfs.

"If I'm correct the next room should be… behind that map of the town." I said and walked over to the map. I hoped I was right. I pulled it down, and I saw a small crawl space behind it.

"I'm going first this time." Wendy said. She got in. Soos went in after her, then Dipper, then Mabel. I got in and went about two yards, and turned around. Alex was still standing in the first room, looking at the closet.

"You, coming?" I asked him. He hesitated for a few seconds, started nodding and got in behind me. When we got out of the tunnel I looked around, and saw a bunch of bricks some of them had symbols on them, some didn't. Everyone was walking around, but no one stepped on any of the bricks that had symbols on them.

"This room is way creepy." Soos said.

"And weird." I added.

"Like Dip's internet history." Mabel said, as she pushed Dipper onto a brick with a symbol that had a triangle inside a circle. Next there was a loud buzzing sound, and the bricks with symbols on them started to come out of the walls, making the room smaller. We all started pushing on the walls to try to stop them from moving.

"It won't stop! What do we do?" Wendy asked. Dipper scanned through the journal and turned to the page that said security room. He turned his black light on. It lit up 6 symbols. One looked like a t with claws on the ends of them, and two dashes on each of the lines, one looked like a person, one looked like a diagonal L, with a line overtop of it, one looked like a circle with an X overtop of it, one looked like an X with a line on it, and one that had three lines with circles on the end of each, and a smaller line through each one.

"Find these six symbols, quick everyone step on one." He said. I looked around for one of them. I heard Soos say one, Wendy say two, I saw the one that looked like and L, hit it, and said three. Mabel said four a second after me, Alex found five. We all looked around for the last one it was on the ceiling, and Dipper had to climb to get to it. Once he pressed it he said six. I looked around for whatever came next. A door opened to my right.

"Run for it!" Mabel yelled. Wendy went out first, then me, then Alex, then Soos, then Mabel, then Dipper. Dipper almost didn't make it. His vest had got caught in the door.

"That was nuts." Wendy said. She turned to Dipper and added, "You ruled back their man." I started to look around the room that we were in. There was a big screen that had four capsules shown on it, each off them empty. There were two chairs in front of it. A giant keyboard with a bunch of symbols on it that I didn't understand. A bunch of shelfs with food, another container of green goo, and a closet.

"Willow!" I heard Mabel yell exited. I walked over to where Dipper was covering her mouth.

"What?" I asked.

"Dipper likes Wendy!" She said and showed me a letter that was in Dipper's sloppy handwriting, trying to explain how he felt about her.

"Duh. I've only know that since the first day we were here." I said. "I don't know why you haven't asked her yet."

"He was going to ask her today." Mabel said.

"No, I changed my mind; it's a bad idea. I'd embarrass myself and then I'd be another guy she hates, like Robbie." Dipper said. I got where he was coming from, and I knew I wasn't gonna be able to change his mind. Even though I thought he was completely stupid for not asking her.

"Just tell her. Won't you feel better just knowing how she feels." I decided to let them argue and started to look around again. Soos had put on a lab coat and grabbed a briefcase, pretending to be a scientist. Alex was looking on some of the info that was on the table. I started messing with the control panel.

"Dipper, check out this weird metal closet." Wendy said form the closet I was just in.

"Coming!" Dipper said, and muttered one last thing to Mabel that I couldn't hear, before going back into the closet. I turned back to the weird keyboard. I saw a button that looked like Bill, and knew that I probably should stay away from that one. A second later I heard a really loud bang. I turned around and saw that the door to the closet was closed. Mabel was standing with her back leaning against the door and a smile on her face that made her look like the Grinch after he stole Christmas.

"What's going on?" I asked her.

"I'm making Dipper tell Wendy how she feels."

"You heard Dipper just leave him alone." I told her. I started to hear banging on the door.

"Mabel, open up, for real! There's a monster in here!" I heard Dipper yell.

"Nice try! There are no monsters." She yelled.

"Just let him out." I said as I walked to the door and tried to get Mabel out of the way. She pushed me into the giant bucket of green goo, which spilled on to Alex. I didn't know what was going to happen. I first I couldn't see anything because the goo let off a weird green gas. But then when I looked back at him I saw that Alex wasn't there, and in his place were two weird monsters that look like two giant caterpillars.

"Alex what happened." I asked.

"Oh, come on. I'm not Alex I'm a shapeshifter. That goo makes me multiply." I looked over at Mabel who had moved over to where Soos was standing at the screen. "The rest of my family is in that closet." It said. "But it's too late for them because there's no way that we are going to let you out of here." He said as he moved to the closed closet door, and the other one moved to the door to the Security Room. That's when I knew that Dipper was in trouble, and judging by the look of Mabel's face, she knew it too.

 **Dipper's POV**

"Just say whatever it is Mabel want you to say so she'll let us out of here!" Wendy told me. I couldn't let her know, so I had to improvise.

"I" What to say, "I'm gonna find another way out." I told her. I grabbed her arm and we started running down one of the tunnels.

"I think it's following us!" Wendy yelled. The tunnel curved, and when we could see straight ahead I saw a wall of dirt. A dead end. On reflex we both turned around, and saw a monster's shadow on the wall. I had an idea, but before I could do anything, we saw the shadow of a man approaching the monster from behind.

"Back you heinous beast!" The man yelled as he reached into the monster's mouth, and started to pull on the monster's tongue. I couldn't tell what happened next, because all I could see was green goo coming at us. We both ducked and covered our faces. When I looked up I saw a man holding a tongue. He had gray hair, a mustache and beard, and goggles on his forehead. He was wearing jeans and a brown shirt and trench coat, all of which were torn and had sewn-on patches.

"I just ripped out a monster's tongue." He said flatly, his voice reminding me of Luke Skywalker. He threw the tongue on the ground and turned around. Then I noticed his hands. The twelve fingers confirmed it.

"It's the guy. It's the author." I whispered to myself.

"We did it." I heard Wendy say faintly.

"Hurry now, I scared it off, but it'll regenerate, or multiply." He started to run down the tunnel that we had just come through. In the observation room he turned left, leading us down another tunnel. He moved aside a giant blanket, and told us to go through. When we came out there was a giant living space. "It's not very clean down here. I haven't had guests for years! Weeks maybe. I miss orange juice, and my kitten Muffing." I could tell he was a little bit wacko, but he was the author.

"You don't understand you're the guy I've been looking for all summer!" I said. I could finally get all my questions answered. "I got like blevillion questions. Why did you write the journals? Was Bill after you? Why did you make this bunker?" I rattled off a couple more of my questions before he cut me off.

"I'd love to tell you. But we have more important things to worry about right now. It's an experiment, a shape shifter. Able to take the form of anyone of anything it sees."

"Didn't you say something about it multiplying?" I asked.

"Yes, there's this green goo down here. It leeks through the walls of all the tunnels. Whenever a shape shifter touches the goo it splits in half. I started out with the one that just attacked youl he is the most powerful. The other's have limits, but I've gone half crazy trying to catch the creatures alone. But now you're here. Will you help me catch it?"

"Of course." I said. I was so happy.

"Sure dude." Wendy said. I could tell she was freaking out on the inside, because of the grin on her face.

"Now the beast must have some weakness we can exploit. I just wish I had my research on me. But alas, I lost my journals so many years ago." He told us. I reached into my vest, and grabbed Journal 3.

"I found one of them." I held it out to him. He took it from me.

"My boy! I can't express my gratitude! Oh yes, after all these years..." He started to flip through the pages of the journal.

"Dipper!" I turned around and looked at Wendy. She was holding an empty can of beans.

"Look!" She held the can out for me to see. The man in the picture on the label looked just like 'The Author'. I knew that he wasn't the author, he was a shapeshifter. And now that he was looking in my journal, he could change into any monster that he wanted.

 **Willow's POV**

I slowly moved over to where Soos, and Mabel were standing.

"What do we do?" Mabel asked.

"Soos, you run at the one near the closet. Mabel and I will run at the one near the surveillance room. Try to fight them, and… hope for the best. When I say go." I told them. I don't think this is gonna work. "3…2…1…" Before I could say go Mabel started running at fake Alex. "Go." I ran after Mabel. I knew she wasn't gonna be a good fighter. That's why I put her with me, and Soos alone. She used her shoulder to try and slam into the monster (which I decided to call Bill, because they were both evil) but before she could hit him Bill transformed into a black bird.

"What the?" Mabel yelled. I looked over to where it flew. It was sitting on top of the observation room. I looked around for something to trap it with. I saw a bird cage sitting on a table. I grabbed it and opened it. I ran to the bird, lifted my arms up, and closed the cage door with the bird trapped in it.

"Yes!" I said.

"We did it!" Mabel said even though she didn't technically do anything. I put the cage down on the counter. I started to turn to help Soos with his. But one second the bird was there, and the next second it was gone. I looked around for it, and I saw the original monster back where it was to begin with. It was just staring at me with a smile on his face. To him it was a game. If he wanted to play a game, then I was gonna play a game too.

"Oh, come on." Mabel yelled.

"We can do this." I told her. I looked to my left and saw a baseball bat. I grabbed it. I didn't know how I could use it, but it was better than nothing. I looked over at Mabel and saw that she had a knife in her hand. I started to run towards Bill. Mabel followed behind me. I swung the bat at him, but he shifted into a giant lizard. Mabel ran up to it and started to pet it, but it swung its tail around, and it hit Mabel in the knee. She fell and hit her head on the control panel.

"Mabel!" I yelled. Bill had turned back into the original form. I swung the bat at it again, but before it could make contact with Bill, he shifted into a gorilla. He grabbed the end of the bat, and ripped it out of my hands. He held it out in front of him and snapped it in half. I looked around for something else to use as a weapon. I saw that the knife Mabel had been using was on the floor by my feet.

I picked it up and threw it at the gorilla. This time he didn't shift. The knife hit him right in the heart. For about half a second we just stood there staring at each other. Then he started to shift into a bunch of random things. I watched as it slowly started to shrink until it was about two feet tall. It stayed there for about 5 seconds and turned into the green goo, except it floated in the air. Then it started to move to the bucket with the goo in it. It went in, and didn't come back out. So now I know stabbing them is their weakness.

I went over to check on Mabel. I saw that she had a giant cut on her head. I saw a couple of old scarfs on the ground next to her. I was going to wrap it around her head, but I heard Soos scream. I turned around and saw that he was in the corner behind a lion. I grabbed the knife from behind me and threw it at the lions back. I thought it was going to start shifting randomly. But it used its tail to remove the knife from his back, and throw it at my head. I ducked just in time. He slowly turned around to face me. I backed up, and grabbed the knife. I threw the knife at him. He shifted into a kangaroo, and jumped over the knife. It nearly hit Soos in the stomach, but he moved out of the way. It turned back into its original form. Soos picked up the knife.

"You will never defeat me." The shifter said. "My brother was the weak link." I glanced at Soos. He mouthed the words, 'Get him to turn around.'

"We'll see about that. Turn around I don't have a weapon. He does," I said as I pointed to Soos. "You should be worried about him." The shifter turned around. Soos threw the knife when the shifter was halfway around. It didn't hit him until he was all the way around when it hit him in the heart. It did the same thing that Bill did when I defeated him. I realized that it wasn't just cutting them, you had to stab their heart to kill them.

"Where's Mabel dude?" Soos asked.

"Over there. She hit her head when the lizard tripped her with its tail." I was talking fast. I couldn't help it. It's what I do when I get really sad, upset, nervous or stressed.

Soos sensed how upset I was. "I'll stay here and take care of Mabel. You go save Dipper and Wendy dude." I nodded, not trusting myself to speak. I picked the knife up from the floor. I went over to where Dipper had put his backpack, and grabbed a flashlight. I went through the closet, and got to the observation room. There were four capsules, with a button next to each of them that said **FREEZE** in big bold letters. I pressed one of them and the entire capsule lit up a very faint blue. All four of the buttons did the same thing. I walked over to where there were three tunnels side by side. I picked the one furthest to the right. I was started to get kinda scared which was weird for me. A few minutes later I heard footsteps. I stopped, and turned off the flashlight.

"He fell for it man."

"He'll figure it out eventually." I heard Wendy and Dipper talking. I turned the flashlight back on, and I saw them standing about two feet from my face. All three off us screamed at the same time.

"Dipper. Mabel is…" I started to tell him what happened but he interrupted me.

"Wait. How do we know that she isn't a shape shifter?" Dipper whispered to Wendy. They both backed up a couple of steps.

"Come on, Dip; its me."

"Prove it." How do I prove to him its really me? I knew of one way. I told Dipper what his real name was, and what mine was. Both of the names felt foreign in my mouth. I hadn't said my real name since first grade. My parents were the only ones that still called me that, and that was only when I was in trouble, which didn't happen very often. I couldn't even remember the last time I called Dipper by his real name. Judging by the look on Dipper's face that said ' _I'm about to puke.'_ I knew he knew it was really me.

"It's her."

"So, that's your real name." Wendy said, as she looked at Dipper. Then she looked at me. "Your real name isn't Willow." Wendy said, the second part of what I said registering. "Okay then." I could tell she was surprised.

Dipper looked down. "Wendy you're bleeding." He said. He looked kinda freaked out.

"It's cool. It's just blood man, don't freak out." She said. The word blood sent chills through my spine. She tore off her shirt sleeve to cover the cut. I tried to explain what had happened again.

"Dipper. When we were in the tunnels we found out that Alex was a shifter. I don't know where the real Alex is. But the shifter multiplied. So Mabel, Soos and I fought them, and Mabel fell…" I heard a growl coming from down the tunnel.

"Hold that thought. Right now we need to think of a plan." He said.

"He took us into his home, tricked us, and tried to destroy us. I say we return the favor." Wendy said.

 **Dipper's POV**

"He's coming! Do it now!" Willow yelled, running down the tunnel towards us. We turned the water valve as fast as we could, but the water wasn't coming out.

"It won't work man." Wendy said. I saw the shifter coming from the other tunnel. Its current form was a giant version of me and Willow combined that looked like a spider with two mouths, both with really sharp teeth. It stuck it's tongue out and grabbed the journal with it.

"HEY, LET GO!" I said, and grabbed the journal before the shifter could get it, but it was still attached to its tongue, and I couldn't get it away.

"You leave him alone!" Wendy yelled. She let go off the valve and started to help me. She grabbed onto the journal and started pulling. But the shapeshifter was stronger. It started to pull its tongue back into its mouth, taking Wendy with it. She jumped off and onto the shifters back. She grabbed her axe, and got ready to stab the shifter in its back, literally. The others finally got the valve to turn. Water started to come out of the pipe, pushing all of us down the tunnel.

For what I think was about 20 seconds, it felt like I had been knocked over by a giant wave at the beach. I was disoriented and dizzy. Then all the water must have drained from the tunnel, because when I took a breath I didn't get a mouth full of water. Then for about a minute I lied on my back, trying not to throw up. I sat up, and looked around. Soos, Willow, and Wendy's axe were all close to me, but Wendy was nowhere to be found.

"Where's Wendy?" I asked, picking up her ax. I looked around, and saw that there was a cliff not too far away from us. I got up, and ran over to the cliff. "Wendy!" I yelled out, sliding down the cliff like it was a slide. Wendy was lying on her back and didn't look like she was breathing.

"Wendy! No, no, no-no-no! Can you hear me? Oh, please be okay, please be okay!" I said, shaking her, but she wasn't moving, I grabbed her wrist, hoping, praying… thank god, I felt something. But it was wrong; instead of being slow and sporadic, it was pumping like a jack-rabbit. That COULDN'T be good.

"Dipper I'm sorry, this is all my fault. If I had stopped turning the stupid valve…" Willow told me, but it wasn't her fault.

"No. It's my fault! If I had told you when we were in the closet we wouldn't be in this mess. But I was too scared and now you could be hurt or worse, and I never even got to tell you I'm, like—In love with you, Wendy!"

"Dipper?!" I heard Wendy say from behind us. I turned around and saw that she was holding the journal.

"Wendy!"

"Then who's that?" Willow asked. Go figure; it was a shapeshifter. It started to make a weird hissing noise. Then got back up, and ran at Wendy, and started trying to grab the journal. I watched them for a few seconds, then turned around and picked up Wendy's axe as Willow ran over to one of the chambers.

"Give me back that journal!" One of the Wendy's said.

"Never!" The other replied.

"Give it back; it belongs to Dipper." The one that was on the right said. "Hit her with the ax!"

"Don't listen to her Dipper!"

"She's the shape shifter!"

"I don't know whose who, give me a sign." The Wendy on the left winked at me. The one on the right zipped her lips then threw the key. I hit the Wendy on the left with the ax in the stomach, and green goo started to come out of its body. It ripped the axe out of its body, and threw it, almost decapitating Willow. Wendy then pushed him into the chamber and Willow hit a button. The chamber door locked, and lit up blue. It started to shift randomly before finally returning to its true form.

"No!" He yelled from inside the chamber. It started to do an evil laugh, and smiled. Even though we just trapped him. "You think you're so clever don't you, Dipper? But you have no idea what you're up against. You will never find the author. If you keep digging, you'll meet a fate worse than you can imagine. And this will be the last form you ever take!" He said and turned into me, and poses with its mouth open, and hands, up. With the right hand higher than the left, and started to scream as it was frozen in that position.

"Good luck sleeping tonight," Willow told me.

"Let's go find everyone else, and go home." I replied, not wanting to think about what had happened.

"Dipper…" Willow said, the look on he face telling me this was something major.

"What?"

"Mabel and I were fighting a shifter, and she fell, and hit her head on that big control panel." For a minute, I didn't say anything.

"Is she okay?" I asked eventually.

"I don't know. She had a giant cut on her head. Soos is with her now."

"Why didn't you say anything before?"

"I tried to but you kept on interrupting me." We grabbed all the stuff we brought in the tunnels, and a few extra things, and started walking to the closet. None of us said anything. Wendy opened the door to the closet, all of us filing in.

"Hey dude." Soos said solemnly. I thought I knew what he was going to say next.

"Well?" Soos started shaking his head.

"She's…" he couldn't finish, but we knew. We both started crying, but it wasn't out of grief. You know how they say twins (or triplets in our case) have a special connection and can understand each other better? We used to only be able to do that when it was a strong emotion or feeling, but since coming here, we could practically read each other's minds. The real Mabel was still alive. Which meant that this Mabel…

"Everyone grab a weapon," Willow called, grabbing a hammer off a bench. Soos opted to just use his hands, Wendy lifted her axe, and I picked a knife up off the ground. "There's gonna be two of them. Only a heart wound will do it."

"Wouldn't it be easier to…" Soos started, but stopped when he saw the look on our faces. "Never mind." Shape-shifter or not, there was no way we could do that to something that looked like our sister.

"Everyone ready?" Willow asked, walking over to one of the goo barrels. We all nodded, and she tipped it over, spilling it onto 'Mabel.' A green gas appeared, and when it was gone, two caterpillar-like things were in her place. Luckily, one of them was still unconscious. I finished off the unconscious one while Soos and the girls took care of the other.

It must of still been dazed from being knocked out, because it only took 20 seconds to get rid of it. Just like before, it shifted randomly before turning into green goo and flying back into the barrel. All that was left was to find Alex and get out of here.

Alex was unconscious in a supply closet. Soos picked him up and we all walked back the way we came, climbing out of the tree and up the steps. Mabel was there, staring at us like we had just survived a war.

"I thought we were supposed to meet at two!" She exclaimed when we asked where she had been. She and Soos went into town together, Soos offering to fill her in on what she had missed. We had put Alex against a log, so when he came to, he and Willow went off together. That left Wendy and I alone.

"Look. In the heat of the moment, I might of said some dumb things. Can we pretend like none of this ever happened?" I asked.

"I always kinda knew." Wendy told me.

"Y-you did?" I asked.

"Yeah, you think I can't here that stuff you're constantly whispering under your breath?"

"Oh man."

"You know I'm too old for you right?"

"Yeah, I know. Mabel said confessing would make me feel better."

"How do you feel?"

"Anxious. Scared. Kinda itchy." I told her, scratching my arm. She rolled her eyes and punched my arm.

"Listen, this summer was super boring until you showed up. I had more fun with you than practically anybody else. And if you ever stopped being my friend, ... I would, like, throw myself into the Bottomless Pit!"

"So things won't be too, awkward, now?"

"I just wrestled myself. That was awkward. If you can handle that monster, you can handle a little awkwardness."

"Friends?"

"Friends." She said, punching my arm again before grabbing her bike. "See you for movie night tomorrow. You're place this time, okay?" With that she biked away, leaving me alone. Well, almost.

"So, how'd it go?" Mabel said, appearing on the log next to me.

"What? How much of that did you hear?"

"Everything! All the time!" She responded excitedly.

"I'M NOT HERE!" Soos yelled from the trees.

"Mabel, how can everything be so amazing and so terrible at the same time?" I asked her. I mean, it was great that I didn't have to 'hide' my feelings for Wendy anymore, but now that she told me that we can't be together...

"I'm sorry about it Dipper. I wish I could have been there. If it's any consolation, I already have a list of your potential rebound crushes." That was the Mabel I had grown up with.

"Thanks Mabes. That's… whoa!" Soos came over and sat down next to us, causing our end of the log to fly up. It was then that I realized he had put on a lab coat and grabbed some souvenirs.

"I'm still bummed we're no closer to finding the author guy. At least we got his science-y coat and briefcase," he said holding the briefcase up by the handle. The bottom flopped down, revealing that it wasn't a briefcase; it was an _ancient_ laptop. And when I say ancient, I mean like it was old enough to have been the first laptop ever invented, maybe even older.

A blue label above the screen read PROPERTY OF F, and below the screen were the letters and numbers MO52584. There was a small crack in the upper-left corner of the screen, and a layer of cobwebs were covering the bottom left corner. The keyboard had the standard layout of current laptops, but some of the keys had weird symbols on them, and a handful were orange instead of black like the others.

"I bet I could get this thing fixed up in a few days," Soos offered, starting to fiddle with some of the buttons.

"I have a better idea," I said, standing up and taking the laptop from him. "Let's head home." We all stood up and started walking back to the Shack, the newest clue to finding the Author in my hands.

 **Willow's POV**

"Wow," Alex said after I was done filling him in on what he had missed, which had taken a good half hour because he kept asking questions and I had been writing down notes to put in the Journal. Odds were slim that we would EVER go down there again, but you never know; it would be a great place to hide out if the Mayans were correct in that the world would end this year.

"Yeah, wow," I responded, tucking my notebook and pen back into my jacket. Somehow, we had ended up in a clearing near the Shack. It was the same clearing from the carnival three weeks ago where the archery area had been set up. Not 100 feet away from us was where Alex had told me that they were leaving early.

"You guys really go through stuff like that every day?" Alex asked me. I nodded, doing some quick memory checks.

"Pretty much. I think there have only been maybe four or five days since we've found the Journal where nothing crazy has happened." For some reason, he started laughing. "What?"

"Just… everything," he responded, getting himself together. "Weirdest birthday ever." The word 'birthday' reminded me of the gift I had planned on giving him.

"I'll be right back!" I told him, running into the Shack and to my workshop. I noticed a new item on my table that hadn't been there before, but I ignored it, grabbing the present and running back outside. "Here."

On his birthday last year, I had agreed to give him archery lessons. Just before the deal, he had snuck up behind me and thrown a knife over my shoulder at the target. I had been holding onto the knife ever since. Carved into the handle were the letters A.G.R. His initials. He took it from me and turned it over and over in his hand, staring at it like it was about to explode. And just like a year ago, he threw it over my shoulder, imbedding it in a tree behind me.

"I'm sorry things got a little… okay, a lot, crazy back there, and I know you don't remember half of what happened, and I know this will seem kind of insignificant after everything, but I thought that-" He kissed me, cutting me off. When he pulled back, the look in his eyes melted my heart.

"Will, I love the knife, I really do, but like I said, all I wanted for my birthday was to spend time with you. So far, that hasn't gone very well, but we still have a few hours before I have to leave. Now, where's this 'Lookout Point' I've heard about?"

 **GFF**

We spent the rest of the day up there, watching clouds, having a picnic, talking about anything that came into our minds, and at the end of the day, watching the sun set over the mountains. The storm that had been brewing was almost at us now, so when the sun went down, it looked like the sky was on fire. Alex was especially happy about getting to see the stars again; he hadn't been able to since moving to Piedmont, and stargazing had been something Dipper, Mabel and I had all started doing since coming up here, so I knew how he felt.

Eventually though, it was time for him to leave… again. I couldn't handle many more of these goodbyes. I don't want to start crying again, so I won't go into details, but after we said goodbye at the bus stop that I was WAY too tired of seeing, like most times he had shown up then left, I went to work in my workshop. But this time, I was working on something instead of my crossbow.

The new thing I had seen on my work table had been a VERY old laptop. When I opened it up, I saw a note that Dipper had written.

 _Soos took this from the Bunker. We figured you needed a distraction, so good luck. You need help with anything, let us know, but this one's all yours._

I smiled, propping the note up on the table. It was amazing what a month of craziness could do to relationships. New friends, new enemies, bonds breaking, making new ones… but the most important relationships were the ones with family; that moment when you truly understand somebody, what they want at any given time… _that's_ love, no matter what form it is in.


	22. Golf War

**SURPRISE! MERRY CHRISTMAS! I know I said double-update at New Year's, but we are now up to 105 reviews for this story, so since all you guys/gals gave me over 100, I tried as hard as I could to get this done, and it worked, so this is my holiday present to you. And as a New Year's gift, I'll give you the Unexplained shorts. Anyway, it's shout-out time!**

 **Fantasy Female Freak- Thanks for your review! I'm glad you're starting to like Willex more, and you know how Willow is; she wouldn't stay with a guy if he was a jerk-wad to her. And yeah, she is the girl in my profile, only more Falls-i-fied (does that make sense? I hope it does) and different clothes. I have a little sister, and my dad's tenants need a baby-sister a lot, so I know how it is.**

 **gamelover41592- Thanks for your review! It was one of my favorite's too, and I think the Mason thing is just people have been calling him Dipper so long, he considers himself to be a Dipper instead of a Mason. Mabel forgetting things was mostly for plot purposes.**

 **Caster- I know it was off, and I feel bad about it; my laptop got messed up, so I had to A) start over part way through, and B) rewrite it on an old computer without spell check. I know that's no excuse, but now that my laptop is fixed, I'll be going through and adjusting some of the events. And I know I could have elaborated more in some areas, but parts were intentional. I figured that since they had never been in such a serious life-or-death situation before, their perception of events would be kind of messed up. I hope this makes sense, and expect some adjustments over the next few weeks.**

 **Maximal7x13- That's so cool! Believe it or not, Kristen Schaal and I share a birthday, and a cousin of mine was born on June 18th. Yes, though! Thanks for your review!**

 **Miss Tri- Yeah, I know; execution wasn't the best. I had some technical issues, so had to kind of rush to finish and get the chapter up on time, but I'll be going back over a lot of it and fixing some things over the next few weeks. If you want a longer explanation, look at the response for Caster; I went into more detail up there. But Willow feeling weird about the blood thing; remember, 'Mabel' was injured at that point, so it was a reminder of what had happened before they met up with each other. Anyway, thanks for your review!**

 **Esygo- At first, the shapeshifters didn't want them there to protect themselves and their secret. But once they were in, the shapeshifters couldn't let them leave and tell people they existed. Hopefully that cleared things up. Thanks for your review!**

 **TheGreatFaller- Thanks for your review! I'm still working out the kinks in that one, especially with the whole laptop thing, but I think you will like what I do with everything.**

 **Penelope flower- Thanks for your review! And the user name you had before this was bae!**

 **Disclaimer: I only own Willow and her craziness. Everything else came from the mind of Alex Hirsch.**

* * *

 **Willow's POV (July 19th)**

"Hey kid. What do you want for breakfast?" Grunkle Stan asked me as I walked to the fridge to grab some Mabel Juice. That girl may be crazy, but she always keeps a pitcher full in the fridge, and it gives you the energy levels of the Chipmunks on a coffee high.

"Electric wires and circuit boards," I replied, taking the glass into the living room with me. Dipper was watching _Gulliver's Travels_ and eating some cereal. Waddles was on the ground by his feet, his face in the cereal box. I took the box off his head and grabbed a handful, eating it dry.

"How the laptop coming?" Dipper asked me as I flopped on the couch next to him. After yesterday's Shapeshifter incident, I had started to work on an ANCIENT laptop Soos had found.

"Considering the fact that that thing is almost as old as Star Wars, I would say not too bad. I'm going to have to go into town later to get some wiring and things, and maybe go to the library to research some stuff, but I would say another two, maybe three days? It'll depend on how much craziness we get into."

"Sounds cool. But the guy we thought was the Author yesterday, I swear, he sounded JUST like Luke Skywalker!"

"Okay, no more Star Wars marathons for you." All six had been on the other day; it had taken us a good ten minutes to explain the prequels and how they were connected to the originals to Grunkle Stan. And then we hear that if the deal went through, more movies could be made… we were already theorizing. I don't think this town had gotten to us yet.

"Seriously, though. Did you ever figure out how he was able to pull off the whole Baron-with-six-fingers thing?" We had filled each other in on what we had missed. I really didn't blame Dipper; I would have believed it too. But he had been trying to figure out how the Shifter had managed to pull it off.

"I was thinking that it was kind of the same concept like when it turned into a hybrid of us. But I think the real question is why didn't it take the form of the real Author? The journal doesn't say anything about Shapeshifters, even in black-light, but it seems like something that wouldn't get left out."

"You think maybe the Author ripped out the pages?"

"Maybe, but why would-" Grunkle Stan came in then, cutting Dipper off, a frying pan in his hand.

"Anybody want Stan-cakes? They're like pancakes, but they probably have some of my hair in 'em."

"PASS!" Dipper yelled, while I pretended to gag. Grunkle Stan nodded and tossed the whole thing into the trash can. He went to go back into the kitchen, but was almost run over by Mabel, who came flying into the room, today's newspaper in her hands.

"It's here! It's here! It's here! I've been waiting all morning and it's finally here!" She yelled, running around like she had just had a shot of Mabel Juice. "The Gravity Falls Gossiper accepted my article about summer fashion tips for squirrels! My picture is gonna be in the newspaper! Check it!" She turned the paper towards us, showing the headline.

"'PACIFCA NORTHWEST DECLARES V-NECKS THE LOOK OF THE SEASON!'" Grunkle Stan read, scratching his head confusedly. "What am I looking at here?"

"Looks like someone bought their way to the front page," Dipper commented.

"Why does Pacifica always have to ruin everything?" Mabel asked, tossing the paper in the trash and taking the glass from me.

"Cheer up Mabes. No one even reads newspapers anymore," I told her, just before Soos ran into the room, a t-shirt and a copy of the newspaper in his hands.

"Dudes! V-neck season is upon us! Who wants to help my get ahead of the fashion curve? I'm taking it one step further; with a W-neck!" He drew a W below the collar of the shirt, then pulled out a pair of scissors and started cutting it out, muttering to himself. Mabel sat down at the table and drained the Mabel Juice, the normal side-effects not happening this time.

"I need something to take my mind off this," she mumbled.

"Looking for a distraction from your horrible life?" Mabel perked up as we all turned to look at the TV, Dipper turning the volume up. "Victory, honor, destiny, mutton! These old-timey sounding words are alive and well at the Gravity Falls Royal Discount Putt Hutt! No mutton available at the snack shop."

"Mabel, you love mini-golf! You've been amazing at it since we were kids!"

"Technically, we're still kids, but he's not wrong. It's been a stressful few days. I think we could all use a break."

"Would kicking all our butts at mini-golf cheer you up?" Stan asked her. She smiled a bit, excitement gleaming in her eyes.

"Maybe a little." We all stood up and walked out of the house, chanting "VICTORY, HONOR, DESTINY, MUTTON!" over and over. As much as I wanted to get the laptop done, there's a limit on how long you can work on something before your brain shuts down completely. And I've learned that in this town, simple things can turn into chaos in a heartbeat. Some mindless fun, followed by Gravity Falls craziness would help a lot.

 **Mabel's POV**

"Ahh, mini golf! The sport of mini champions!" I said as we walked onto the golf course. I had seen a lot in my lifetime, and this was one of the best. The main theme of this one was royalty, but the holes were all different. There were the standards; pirate ship, wind mill, Eiffel Tower. But there were also odd ones that even I hadn't seen before; Big Ben, a shoe (from the nursery rhyme), and a palm tree. But the best was the bonus hole. It was a giant volcano, with two of those giant stone head things on either side. And it actually exploded when you got the ball in!

Dipper went first, overthinking things as always. "Focus… focus…" he muttered, taking some practice swings. He adjusted his stance and swung the club back and forth, missing the ball completely. The wind blew it sideways off the course, right into a pond.

"Don't worry bro! You're still 'Ext-ROAR-dinary!'" I told him, putting a dinosaur sticker on his cheek before stepping up to hit. "Do the hip wiggle, and…!" I swung hard, knocking the ball around all the obstacles and into the dinosaur's mouth. It came out the other end and hit Old Man McGucket, who, for some reason, was sleeping on the green, before rolling back into the hole.

"Holy smokes! Someone in our family actually has talent!" Grunkle Stan said, excitement in his face.

"Grunkle Stan, you ain't seen nothing yet!" Willow told him. Before I knew it, I was on hole 18, a crowd of people watching me. 18 was the windmill, normally easy, but there were three holes for the ball to come out of, and no way of controlling which one it would come out of. But if this worked, then I would break my personal record.

 _You can do it, Mabel!_ I told myself. _Pretend the ball is Pacifica's face!_ I swung. The ball rolled up the hill and through one side of the windmill. We all ran over to the hole. The ball came out of the middle slot, aiming right for the hole. But instead of going in, it rolled around the lip and straight into a puddle.

"Aw nuts!" I yelled, throwing my club on the ground, the crowd leaving. Grunkle Stan patted my shoulder and picked the ball up.

"Don't worry about it kiddo. The thing's random! As far as I'm concerned, you're still better than anyone else in Gravity-" A purple ball came through the slot, going straight into the hole.

"Would you look at that? I didn't know it was hobos golf free day!" A familiar and unwelcome voice called to us.

"Pacifica!" I growled, turning around to face the blonde. She and her parents were dressed up in fancy V-necks, the letters NW stitched on in fancy lettering.

"Well, well, well. If it isn't the Pines family," she said, pointing to Soos, Grunkle Stan, Willow, Dipper, and me. "Fat, old, psycho, lame, braces!"

"Soos, would it be wrong to punch a child?" Grunkle Stan asked, rolling his sleeve up.

"I got this," Dipper told us. "Hey Pacifica! How's that whole 'You're family being frauds' thing working out for you?" That was a fun day. I hope Quentin is okay. Instead of getting mad, Pacifica started laughing.

"Great actually! The thing about money? It makes problems go away!" She told us, studying her nails.

"It can't buy you skill! You walked into the game of a mini-golf champion!" That just made her laugh harder.

"Sergei!" She called, snapping her fingers. A man in a red V-neck, yellow/gold shorts and a matching sweatband on his head walked out from behind the Northwest family. "This is Sergei, my trainer!"

"The Sport-lympics had mini-golf once. I took gold!" He announced, pulling his shirt down to reveal a gold medal with a putter on it.

"So if you don't mind moving out of the way of the _professionals!_ " She walked over to the bonus hole, causing the volcano to explode. "Enjoy second place!" She called over her shoulder, starting to walk away. "Give her a hand folks!" I didn't even realize that the crowd from earlier had come back. They all started clapping one of those weird slow-claps. I don't know what it was exactly, but something about seeing Pacifica being able to do anything she wanted with her family's money… I just snapped.

"I want a rematch you… YOU WALKING ONE-DIMENSIONAL BLEACHED BLONDE VALLEY GIRL STEREOTYPE!" I yelled after her. The crowd gasped and she turned around angrily.

"Like, let's do this!" She said, us marching up to each other. Even the weather was getting in on this; clouds moved in and thunder rang out. Honking from the other side of the course made everyone turn.

"Hear ye! Hear ye! Honk! Honk!" One of my ex-crushes, the Mattress King, came riding up in a golf cart, slamming into a post a few times before moving around it, one of the wing decorations falling off. "Stop at once! The park is now closed due to weather! The King of Mini-Golf has spoken!" He tried to back up but slammed into the post again, knocking the cart on its side. I couldn't believe I had ever had a crush on him.

"This isn't over!" Pacifica yelled, poking me in the chest. "You, me, ten o-clock! We'll see who's best!"

"I'll be here!" I promised, rain starting to come down. Pacifica and her parents pulled out umbrellas and walked away, Sergei chasing after them. "I'll be here," I said again, before spitting out strands of hair that had gotten in my mouth from the rain.

 **GFF**

"Time to scratch mini-golf off my talents list," I said into the table. The rain had come fast and hard, so instead of risking heading back home and getting flooded in, we had just gone to a Mexican restaurant that was across the street from the course. Our table was filled with nachos and wires Willow had gotten from McGucket.

I couldn't believe Pacifica had gotten the best of me again! She probably didn't even like mini-golf! She just wanted to show how powerful she was with her family's money. I learned mini-golf from practicing by myself on self-made courses. Pacifica probably had an entire course set up in her family's mansion, and, of course, there was that Russian guy Sergei, who probably trained with her exclusively every day. Then there was also the fact that-

"Mabel, think of it this way. If you beat her tonight, she can never rag on you again!" I stopped thinking about Pacifica and her family and started thinking about what that would be like. In short, that would be AMAZING! I smiled and stood on the table.

"You're right guys. I just need to practice a little more before tonight."

"Going to the golf course after dark you say?" Grunkle Stan asked, rubbing his chin thoughtfully. "I don't know… we'd have to break in and- Just kidding; let's break in!"

As soon as the rain stopped, we went over to the course. Soos stood guard while Grunkle Stan pulled nails out of the fence for us to crawl through. Dipper and Willow went through, me handing my sticker book to Grunkle Stan before bending down to follow them.

"Hey, Mabel?" I turned around and looked up at him. He peeled a sticker off and put it on my sweater. It was a trophy that said U DA BEST on it. "Knock her dead, kid." I gave him a thumbs-up and crawled through the fence. Dipper and Willow were waiting for me on the other side, a bucket of golf balls in Dipper's hands.

Since Pacifica had been getting Olympic-level training for who-knows-how-long, I knew it was going to come down to getting hole-in-ones on EVERY hole. For the most part, I was able to figure it out, but that dumb windmill would never work! EVERY TIME I tried it, the ball didn't go in! I sighed and gathered myself for the 20th attempt. Just like the last 20 times, the ball missed.

"Poop heck darn!" I yelled, slamming my club on the ground. What was wrong with this hole? I sighed and went over to the other side, getting down low so I could see if the hole was slanted or on a rise or something. It looked fine to me. If anything, it was lower than the rest of the course. I glanced over to where Dipper and Willow were both studying the windmill.

"…control where it comes out of?" Dipper was saying, Willow shaking her head.

"Even if we could, we would still have to- Did you hear that?" Willow put her ear on the metal covering, blocking her other ear with her finger.

"It's probably just the windmill mechanism," Dipper told her, but she shook her head and grabbed two golf clubs.

"I SWEAR I heard voices in there," she told us, handing Dipper a club. Her hearing had always been better than ours, so even if it sounded like she was trying to creep us out, we trusted her. Dipper and I held up our clubs as Willow pulled the metal cover back. What was under there was one of the more… unique things we've seen up here.

It looked like an entire town had been set up. Walking around were golf balls with legs and clothes, minding their own business. All at once, they looked up and noticed us. We all screamed, the… them pulling out golf pencils to use as weapons. I guess that made us realize how tiny they were, because we lowered our clubs and stopped screaming. One of them, a blue one with blonde hair, stepped out of the crowd, looking up at us.

"We good?" He asked us. We all held up our hands, showing that we had dropped our clubs. The others put their pencil-weapons away. "All righty then. Um, I'm Franz, and… welcome to our home!"

"So… are you guys like tiny humans, or something?" I asked them, still unclear on what was happening. Franz laughed.

"Something. We're Lilli-PUT-tians! Or Lilli… it makes more sense written down than spoken. Anyway, we control the balls! Behold!" A golf ball came in through the front side of the windmill, following an overcomplicated path to the bottom, where it rolled out of the center 'tube' and straight into the hole.

"That's incredible!" I told them excitedly.

"And so needlessly complicated!" Dipper added, although I think it was more out of politeness than anything. Now that we had figured out what was going on, I think we realized that this was probably (going to be) the least dangerous thing we'd see this summer.

"So what are you huge-lings doing here anyway?" Franz questioned. I wasn't sure I should tell them about Pacifica, but then I realized that there wasn't much they could do.

"I kind of have to play this golf tournament against my rival, Pacifica," I told them, causing them all to start muttering to each other.

"We know all about rivals," Franz told us, lights coming on behind us. We turned around and saw that the pirate Lilliputtians had heard us.

"Put a clog in it, ya windmill-lubbers!" A red Lilliputtian with a thick beard called over to us. Let's call him Jack. "These frilly bottom popinjays are terrible at controllin' the balls! We are the ball masters!" Jack yelled, before the Eiffel Tower hole lit up, a blue ball with a mustache and beret appearing to be in charge. We're calling him Jo-Jo.

"Shut your mouths, you show-boating pirates!" Jo-Jo yelled. "Everyone knows ze Eiffel Tower hole is ze best!"

"Stay you comments, ye churlish Frenchmen!" The Castle hole lit up, a red Lilliputtian with long hair dressed in armor called. His name is now Lance. "None control the balls better than the knights of..." Lance trailed off, noticing the graffiti that someone, probably Robbie, had put on the castle. "Wiener Castle? Who wrote this?"

"We'll settle which hole is best!" While we were distracted, Franz and his group had gathered at our feet, pencil-swords at the ready. "ATTACK!" All the groups charged towards each other, meeting in the middle of the course. Trust me, it sounds worse that it was; it wasn't like they could really do anything to each other except tear their clothes and make a mess. I don't know why, but we all started laughing at them.

"Guys, calm down!" I called, making them all break apart. "Your fighting is adorable!"

"Adorable we are hugeling, but our tale less so," Franz said, coming back up to us, his clothes torn, his eye black somehow. "Every hole in the park thinks they're superior. If only there was a way to decide which side is best."

"Franz, look!" Jo-Jo said, walking up and pointing at me. I glanced down and realized they were staring at the sticker Grunkle Stan had given me.

"The sticker could decide!" Franz said excitedly.

"It does say 'ze best' on it!" Jo-Jo added as Lance walked up to them, bending down on one knee and looking up at me.

"Decide for us hugeling! Choose which mini-kingdom to give the sticker to, and end our war!" All the other Lilliputtians cheered at that, but getting involved in something like this didn't seem like a good idea to me.

"Guys, I'm not sure I wanna get involved in…" Willow and Dipper pulled me aside, talking in whispers.

"Mabel, these guys control the course! Tell them that you'll give the sticker to whichever group helps us out more!" Dipper told me, but it still didn't seem right.

"Doesn't this seem like cheating?" I questioned.

"Pacifica's family is rich for no reason. She's cheating at life," Willow told me. I sighed, hating myself for deciding to do this, but after the thing with Quentin didn't work as well as we thought, Pacifica deserved to be taken down a few levels.

"People of the eighteen holes!" I announced formally, laying out the plan for them. "We're going to have a game of mini-gold! And whoever does the best job of helping me win, gets the sticker!"

"It'll be us, lass," Jack told me, pointing his sword at Franz. "Not these tulip-munchers!"

"I will not be insulted by a man with no depth perception wearing earrings!" Franz yelled. I calmed them down before another fight could break out.

"Now remember, as long as you're helping me, no fighting," I told them. They all nodded, but when I saw the look the leaders of each group gave each-other, I couldn't help be feeling that I was going to regret doing this.

 **GFF**

"They just pulled up," Willow yelled, running up to us. The plan was simple; give me as many hole-in-ones as possible, prevent Pacifica from getting any, but don't make it seem obvious. I still felt bad about cheating, but Pacifica deserved it. "Lights are going out in three… two…" Willow killed the lights, sending the entire course into shadow.

"How much you wanna bet they're no-shows?" I heard Pacifica ask as the doors closed behind them. Willow hit another button, turning lights leading up to us on. I had to admit, I thought we looked pretty awesome.

"Looking for someone?" I asked, jumping off the rock I was standing on and walking over to her.

"Waiting in the dark… not creepy at all," she said lazily, taking her golf bag from Sergei as Willow tuned the rest of the lights back on. "Seriously though, unless you've got something up your sleeve, I don't know why you bothered to show up."

"I guess you could say we've got a little something, right?" I asked, nudging Dipper, one of the Lilliputtians slipping out of my sleeve. "NO!" I whisper-yelled, shoving him back into my sleeve. Pacifica gave us a weird look, but shrugged it off and went over to the first hole, me following behind her.

"Eighteen holes. Standard rules," Sergei told us, pulling an Olympic-style gun out of his pocket. "Winner lives in glory, loser wallows in eternal shame. On your mark, get set, MINI-GOLF!" He fired the gun into the air, starting the game.

I have to give those little guys credit; they really knew what they were doing. From the cowboys to the pirates to the knights, it was amazing seeing what they could do. And Pacifica's angry reactions to it were getting better by the minute. But the best by far was the miner hole.

Pacifica had gone first, the ball missing the hole by a few inches. Then I went, and I'll admit; I was scared there for a few seconds. I had seen how Franz and his group had their windmill set up, so I knew it would take longer than the course itself would appear to take. But it was almost a minute difference from when the ball entered and when it came out. But the look on Pacifica's face was SO worth it! She threw her club at Sergei, who caught it at the last second. "SERGEI! SODA! NOW!" She yelled, storming off, Sergei behind her. As soon they were out of earshot, the three of us bent down to talk to the miners.

"Okay, guys? That was bedonkulous!" I told them, holding my finger down for them to slap; it was the closest thing to a high-five we could do. "I don't wanna call it out early, but I think the miners have one of these in their future!" I told them, pointing at the sticker. They all started cheering and celebrating amongst themselves, so we left them to it.

"I can't wait to see the look on Pacifica's face when we win," Dipper said, looking up from the score card. "You know how she does that 'ugh' thing? I'm thinking it'll be one of those."

"I'd rather see her throw a tantrum," Willow said, looking at me. "She has like, no chance of winning now."

"That's great," I told them, glancing at where she and Sergei had disappeared to. They should have been back by now.

"You okay?"

"Yeah, um… just… Is it bad that I don't feel guilty about all of this?"

"Don't worry about it. Just enjoy your victory," Dipper told ne, going back to the score card. That was the problem; Was it really MY victory? "Pacifica will-"

"AAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!" We all jumped and looked towards the windmill. Franz and his friends were surrounding Pacifica, who they had tied to the ground, Gulliver's Travels-style. "What's going on? Who are you? Let me go!" She yelled, struggling against the ropes. I sighed and face-palmed; I had known this wasn't gonna end well, but THAT wasn't want I was expecting to happen.

"WHAT are you guys doing?"

"This wasn't part of the deal!" Dipper added.

"What deal?" Pacifica yelled at us, Franz coming over.

"So, we saw that you were favoring the miners, so we figured; What's better than beating Pacifica?" He blew a raspberry. "Killing her, right?"

"As if!" Pacifica yelled, glancing around. "I'm calling my parents! Where's my phone?"

"So how about it hugeling? Who's 'da best' now?" Franz asked before the pirate ship turned on.

"Not so fast ye land lubbers!" Jack yelled, poking his sword into the back or a now tied-up Sergei's leg. "If ye're gonna play dirty, so are we. Now give us the sticker or he walks the plank!"

"No! Give us ze sticker!" Jo-Jo yelled, him and all, and I mean ALL, of the other Lilliputtians coming over and shouting at me, yelling for the sticker. I've never been comfortable in large crowds, so this didn't help me at all. I snapped.

"ENOUGH!" I yelled, birds in the pond taking off. The Lilliputtians all gasped and froze, staring at me. Even Willow and Dipper looked at me stunned, but when I get mad, I get MAD, so nothing would stop me now. "No one gets the sticker!"

"Sacré booo!" Jo-Jo yelled, the others taking up the cry.

"No, no! No booing-stop, no! No one gets the sticker cuz you're all being jerks. Why can't you all just get along?" There was a beat of silence, then from the crowd someone yelled; "Because we hate each other."

"That's kind of how rivalries work, lass," Jack told me. I finally figured out what was going on here.

"Then maybe rivalries are dumb," I said, looking at Pacifica apologetically. She looked at me guiltily and I finally saw the girl behind the money and understood her better. "Maybe you don't settle them with petty competitions. Maybe the only way to be 'da best' is by ending the fighting and working together!" I pulled the sticker off my sweater and put it in my mouth, chewing and swallowing. Trust me; it's not the weirdest thing I've eaten. The Lilliputtians all gasped and started talking to each other.

"It's all so clear," Franz said, looking at the others. "If we work together…"

"Then we can cut her belly open and get the sticker!" Jack yelled, all of them pulling out pencils and charging towards me. Pacifica started screaming. I glanced back and saw that the windmill had started spinning crazily and she was moving up towards it.

"We gotta get out of here!" Dipper yelled, he and Willow running off, Willow pulling wires out of her pocket. They would figure out how we could get out of here; I had to save Pacifica. There was a string of lights leading to the windmill that was tied to a lamp post that was behind me. I put my club in my mouth (that didn't taste good) and climbed up the pole, then used the club as a trolley to zip along the wires over to Pacifica.

"Took you long enough!" Pacifica yelled as I started untying her. The Lilliputtians were good at making the ropes tight, but the knots weren't that strong, so it was comparatively easy. But Pacifica yelling at me wasn't helping. "Watch the earrings! They're worth more than that building you live in!" I sighed and stopped messing with the ropes.

"You know, on second thought, maybe I won't untie you." I was kidding of course; I didn't hate her THAT much. But it had the effect I was looking for.

"Untie me! Untie me!" She yelled, struggling against the ropes again.

"That's what I thought," I said, pulling the ropes off her and helping her stand up. "Oh no," I said, realizing that most of the Lilliputtians had surrounded us, pencil-swords at the ready. I glanced at Pacifica, then at a golf club by my feet, then back at her. "You ready to putt?"

"Let's do this," she said, smiling at me and holding her hand out. I stomped on the putter-end of the club, launching it into the air and right into Pacifica's hand. She spun it around like a baton, then held it up in driving position, and we attacked.

I'll admit it; we worked pretty well together. We were able to clear a path through the Lilliputtians just before Willow and Dipper pulled up in the golf cart. Dipper was driving, Willow in shotgun, and Sergei, dripping wet, was sitting on the back, leaving the middle row to me and Pacifica. Wires were hanging out of the key hole and the keys were nowhere to be seen.

"Since when do you know how to hotwire something?" Dipper asked Willow as we climbed into the cart.

"Not now!" She yelled at him, shoving the wires back into place. "Gun it!" Dipper floored the gas, driving us towards the doors. Pacifica, Willow and I kept the Lilliputtians and their weapons away from Dipper, who was driving crazily to avoid the Lilliputtians' tricks. I felt bad about what we were doing to the course, but those guys weren't holding back; somehow they were able to get AXES to swing in front of us.

"They're shutting us in!" Dipper yelled. I looked at the doors, which had started to close. A ripping sound came from about me. I looked up to see the Lilliputtians had landed on the roof of the golf cart and were now using their pencils to poke holes in the roof. I glanced back at the doors and noticed the bonus hole.

"I have an idea! Drive towards the volcano!" Dipper nodded and aimed towards the volcano as I climbed up the golf cart to look at the roof. Most of the Lilliputtians had gone; Franz was the only one left.

"Don't even think about it," he said threateningly. I glanced over at the volcano; five seconds. "You call yourself a golfer? Without us, that club is useless in your hands." Three seconds. I smiled up at him and got the club ready.

"What's ten minus six?" Two seconds. He looked confused for a second, thinking out loud. One second. I answered for him. "FORE!" I brought the club up and hit him into the bonus hole. The golf cart flew up a ramp as I sat back down, just in time. The volcano exploded and launched us into the air, pushing us out the doors just before they closed. Dipper hit the brakes and we slammed to a stop, the cart falling apart under us.

"Girls, you okay?" Dipper asked us, panting slightly. We all nodded and slowly climbed out of the now-trashed golf cart. We all jumped as something slammed into the doors behind us. There were pencil points sticky out of the doors, and the blade of an ax was visible. How they managed to throw that, I had no idea.

"Stay out you dumb huge-lings!" Franz yelled at us from the other side of the wall, golf balls starting to rain down on us.

"What did you say, you little trolls?" Pacifica yelled, marching up to the doors and hitting them with her club. "I will sue you! I will sue you, and I will OWN you!" She whirled on us, getting in my face. "You! I don't know what you did or what just happened, but if you think just because you saved my life I—"

I handed her a sticker with a cat on it that said 'I a-PAW-logize', making her stop yelling. "I'm sorry Pacifica. We shouldn't have cheated. You totally would have beaten me, fair and square." I saw the conflict in her eyes, and smiled to myself when she put the sticker on her shirt.

"You're just lucky this sticker looks fantastic on me," she stated lazily. I knew what that meant; we still had work to do, but we were getting there. A car honked behind us. We turned around and saw Grunkle Stan pulling up.

"You kids okay? You look like you just fought in The Gulf War," he said as we climbed into the car, Dipper in shot-gun, Willow and I in the back. I reached out to close my door and noticed that Pacifica was just standing around, looking at us. I glanced at my sibs, who both shook their heads.

"Hey!" I called, not caring what they thought; I was going to ride this train as long as possible. "Your parents aren't here. Want a ride home?"

"Please. As if I'd ever ride in-" Before she could finish refusing, lightning struck behind her and thunder rang out, rain starting to come down again. I moved over to the middle seat and beckoned Pacifica over. She made a show of not wanting to, but I could tell she was grateful that I had offered.

About halfway through the drive, I found two tacos hidden behind the seats under the back windshield. I started to eat one; fighting really makes you hungry. And tired. I couldn't wait to get back.

"You're allowed to eat in the car?" Pacifica asked me, glancing at the taco in my hand.

"You're not?" I guess it made sense; she was always being chauffeured around in limos and cars that were worth more than the town itself. "You want one?"

"I'm not supposed to take handouts," she refused. That was seriously how she lived every day?

"It's called sharing," I told her, a confused look on her face. "You do know what sharing is, right?"

"Sha- shaawing?"

"Just take it," I told her, shoving it in her hands. What had her parents done to her? Although when she tried it, it actually looked like she enjoyed it. People say that that fancy, rich-people food tastes good, but trust me; I would sooner date Gideon than eat some of that stuff.

Before we knew it, we were at the gate in front of the Northwest Mansion. "Thanks for the ride, or whatever," Pacifica told us as she got out of the car and walked up to the gate. Before she opened it, she glanced back at me. "And Mabel. I can't believe I'm saying this, but I had fun." She turned back around and started to open the gate as I moved back over and shut the door.

"So, are you two cool now?" Dipper asked me, turning around in his seat. I looked over and where Pacifica was standing and shrugged.

"I think we made some progress. The important thing to remember is that at the end of the day, she's just an ordinary kid like us." Just as I finished speaking, the gate swung open, revealing a GIANT garden in front of the mansion, fountains and peacocks everywhere. On top of the mansion was a giant, neon-pink sign that said CONGRATULATIONS PACIFICA! Fireworks started going off above the mansion.

"You should have charged her for that taco," Willow told me as we pulled away from the mansion.

"Agreed!" I responded, all of us laughing. Man, it felt good to laugh. The past week had been crazy, between everything with Bill and Gideon, then the zombies and the shapeshifters. This was one of the calmer days we've had recently, and I had a feeling that with everything else going on right now, especially once Willow got that laptop fixed, 'calm' days would be few and far between.

* * *

 **Wow, okay. Haven't done one of these in a while. So, anyway, umm… yeah. I was debating doing this one or not, but I figured that for character-development, it was important to be included. And like Mabel said; things are going to start getting really crazy coming up soon. Calm days will start to become a thing of the past. With the seriousness of season two compared to season one, these 'filler' episodes/chapters will be a nice pace break, because from here on out, every chapter; including the 'fillers' will have something important and plot-relevant in them. Anyway, the shorts will be posted at midnight New Year's Eve/Day. Until then, HAPPY HOLIDAYS!**


	23. Pines' Guide to the Unexplained

**HAPPY NEW YEAR! As a New-years gift, here's Dippers Guide to the Unexplained! Just a heads-up these are written in the third person. But first, it's shout-out time!**

 **Fantasy Female Freak- Thanks for your review/Happy Holidays! And I LOVE the Unexplained shorts too; they were a great way to keep the fans happy during the hiatus. Which one is your favorite? Mine is Mailbox, with Hide-Behind in second.**

 **Maximal7x13- Bud, I TOTALLY get it about the sibling-bonding thing. I have a sister who's a few years younger than me, and you have no idea how much closer the show brought us. Like I said in Dreamscaperers, our cousins turned the show on and things have changed ever since. And nice job handling the fire; I hope your sister is okay. Anyway, thanks for your review!**

 **gamelover41592- Thanks for your review! Golf War wasn't one of my favs, but it was definitely one of the better filler chapters. I especially loved all the Gulliver's Travels references it made. And Happy New Year!**

 **cassianaswindell123- Thanks for your reviews! I'm not making any promises on Billow, but a lot of people do seem to want that to happen. I know Google Translate sucks, but I figured to would be close enough. I use Google Translate for a lot of things in other languages for this, so I apologize if it doesn't come out properly.**

 **Disclaimer: These shorts and Gravity Falls as a whole do not belong to me. They are the property of Disney and the work of Alex Hirsch. Willow is the only thing I own.**

* * *

 **Stan's Tattoo (July 19th)**

The screen filled with static before clearing to reveal a young boy and girl standing in an attic, the fingers of the person behind the camera pretending to squish their heads.

"Hello, I'm Willow Pines," The girl stated before pointing at the boy. "This is my brother Dipper, and the girl pretending to squish our heads is Mabel."

"I'm helping!" Mabel stated, waving at the camera before removing her hand from the screen.

"Welcome to Pines' Guide to the Unexplained," Dipper stated, the camera moving to show a board with multiple pictures of a man, a mark partly showing on his right shoulder circled in all of them. "Today we are investigating Anomaly number 23, our Grunkle Stan's secret tattoo."

"What is he hiding? A college prank? Secret symbol? Or something stranger?" The camera returned to its original position on the two younger triplets. "Stan claims it doesn't exist, but today we're gonna find out."

"Right after another exciting episode of… What's Under Mabel's Bandage?" Mabel started to peel a bandage on her leg off before the camera was turned away, Willow now behind it.

"Mabel, you're off camera duty. Let's do this." As they left the attic and went downstairs, Willow laid out the plan. "Grunkle Stan never takes off his undershirt-"

"Obviously to hide his tattoo!" Dipper interrupted as the view straightened out. They were now standing in a hallway, a thermostat on the wall behind Dipper. "But we're gonna 'turn up the heat' on this mystery."

"I told you no puns!" Willow yelled at her brother as he increased the temperature as far as it would go. The view changed again as they moved the camera into position. "Stan's not just gonna take his undershirt off, so we're having Soos encourage him to do it."

They positioned the camera on a souvenir shelf, showing part of the Gift Shop, Stan writing on a clipboard off to one side. Soos walked into the picture, sweat already staining his collar and underarms.

"Sure is hot in here today, huh Mr. Pines?" The handyman stated, grabbing the hem of his shirt and pulling it over his head. "Probably be a lot cooler if we worked without our shirts on! Am I right?"

"Soos, I will pay you to put your shirt back on," Stan told his employee, rubbing at his eyes.

"Don't be shy Mr. Pines!" Soos stated, sitting on the counter. "Bodies are nothing to be ashamed of."

"Watch the shop for a minute Soos," Stan told his employee, placing the clipboard on the counter and walking out of the shot. From off-screen, his voice said; "I need to go find a melon-baller and pull my eyeballs out."

After a few seconds of static, the camera showed a close-up view of Willow sitting at a table. "Time for Plan B," she told the camera, spinning it to show Stan sitting in his chair, the TV on, part of the tattoo in question showing. "Is that poison oak on your shoulder? Let me scratch it for you." She reached for his shoulder, but before the tattoo could be revealed, Stan slapped her hand away.

"You're gonna have to try harder than that if you wanna see my tattoo," he said absently.

"I thought you said you didn't have a tattoo!" She yelled.

"I don't, but you do," Stan said, reaching for her with a marker. The camera showed static again, then revealed Dipper and Willow in a hallway, the word GOOFUS written on Willow's forehead in red marker.

"Okay, Plan C. Stan is in the shower. Dipper drew the short straw, so he's doing this one," Willow told the camera, moving behind it.

"Don't talk about it!" Dipper told her, shuddering at the thought of what awaited him. "I wish it hadn't come to this, but sometimes you have to do terrible things for science."

"Just keep your eyes and the camera pointed up," Willow told him as he took the camera and walked through a door, steam forming in the bathroom. He walked up to the shower curtains and pulled them back. Stan was standing there, fully clothed, water running down him.

"You're never gonna see it kids. Never. Gonna. See it." He growled at the camera,

"How long have you been standing there?" Dipper asked him.

"Give me that camera!" Stan yelled, reaching for it. Another few seconds of static revealed Dipper and Willow on an overhang, the tops of the forest behind them.

"I'M GONNA FIND YOU KIDS!" Stan's voice yelled from somewhere off screen, birds flying out of trees in the background.

"That's it for this episode," Dipper told the camera. "Stan's tattoo remains a mystery, but who knows what other secrets are waiting to be unlocked."

"This had been Willow and Dipper Pines, signing off for now." Willow added. "But come back next time where we will be investigating anomaly number- oh no." The camera spun around, showing the furious face of Stan before the recording ended.

 **Candy Monster**

The screen cleared again, this time showing the attic at night, Mabel curled up in her bed, Willow lying on hers, a book called _Programming for Dummies_ propped up on her lap. Dipper was standing in front of the camera, a basket in his hands.

"Well, that concludes Gravity Falls anomaly #13, the Möbius chicken strip," he told the camera, holding up a chicken strip that resembled an infinity loop. "it's infinitely delicious!" He added, eating one.

"Toss me one," Willow called, tilting her head back. Dipper threw one into the air and it came down, almost going into Willow's mouth. A shadow moved across the wall and snatched it out of the air. "What the…?" She asked standing up, fight-or-flight mode activated. The two of them stood back-to-back, but the shadow came out of nowhere, charging past them and knocking the camera on its side.

The view went fuzzy before focusing again, Willow behind the camera, Dipper and Mabel, still bleary-eyed, staring at the creature. "It's like a weird naked little man," Mabel commented, moving closer to it. The creature was very short and pudgy, with an orange tint to its skin and a hairy body.

"Okay, not really sure what's going on right now, so this had now become Pines' Guide to the Unexplained, number 76… That Thing?"

"Candy Monster," Willow commented as the view changed again, Mabel now behind the camera. She and the monster went back and forth a few times, each trying to prevent the other from getting the candy, before her siblings called her attention back to them. The two of them now had stuffed animals taped on their bodies, golf clubs in each of their hands, Willow with a golf bag on her back, Dipper carrying a garbage can.

"We're ready," Willow stated, spinning her clubs around like a bo-staff. "We're gonna capture him for science."

"And for candy!" Mabel yelled from behind the camera.

"Get this on video in case we die or something," Dipper commented, the two of them walking over to the creature, who was still protecting his candy. Willow reached out with her golf club, moving a piece of candy closer to her. The creature pounced, attempting to grab it back, at the same time Dipper attacked with his trash can.

Dipper missed, the creature pulling back at the last second. The monster started climbing up the wall and onto the rafters in the ceiling. "Die mutant! Die!" Mabel yelled, throwing a stuffed animal at the creature. It bounced back and hit the camera, sending the view sideways before refocusing, showing the creature drop off the ceiling and down the stairwell. "Save the candy!" Mabel yelled, the three of them chasing after the creature.

The view straightened out in the kitchen, showing the monster atop the refrigerator, knocking things off and throwing candy at the kids, who were throwing anything they could back at him. "He's wasting candy! Open your mouth! Try to catch the candy in your mouth!" Mabel called to her siblings, Dipper glaring at her.

"Why would we-?" An unwrapped piece of candy landed in his mouth. "That's actually- OW!" The creature, having run out of candy, had resorted to throwing the bucket at them, hitting Dipper square in the face. The creature jumped off the fridge, being chased by Willow, who was still trying to hit it with the golf club. When the view straightened out, Willow was standing alone in the living room, golf clubs at the ready.

"Do you see it? Where'd it go?" She asked, looking around the room. The creature jumped down at her, landing on her back. She attempted to use the clubs to pry him off, but almost hit Dipper, who had run to help her. He fell back, accidently turning the television on, as Willow threw her clubs to the ground. She charged backwards, slamming the creature between herself and the wall. The creature fell off, dodging through Dipper's legs before noticing the TV, stopping to stare at it.

"He's hypnotized by the TV!" Mabel yelled excitedly as Dipper and Willow helped each other up and over to the creature.

"What a little dummy! Glued to the… I love this movie," Dipper muttered, himself now staring at it.

"Come on, Dip. It can't be… oh wow! Haven't seen this in forever," Willow added. A few seconds of static later revealed the four of them watching the movie, the kids eating the candy they had been able to salvage, the monster eating golf clubs.

"Shouldn't we do something about Milton?" Dipper asked, using the name the kids had given the monster, a homage to Milton Hershey.

"Candy now. We can handle him later," Mabel responded, shoving more candy into her mouth. Milton finished off his golf club, attempting to reach for another one. Willow pulled one out of the bag and handed it to him, Milton starting to eat it.

"Hey dudes!" Soos called, walking into frame, looking at Milton. "Hey Mr. Pines!"

"I think this is it for this episode of Pines' Guide to the Unexplained. The next episode will probably be about handling Milton," Willow said, reaching for another golf club.

"Stan, what are they talking about?" Soos asked Milton before the camera stopped recording.

 **Hide-Behind (July 20th)**

When the screen cleared, Dipper and Willow were talking to each other, a piece of cardboard and a pen in Dipper's hands, Willow holding the journal open. "We're on!" Mabel's voice called from behind the camera, getting their attention.

"Oh, hello, and welcome back to Pines' Guide to the Unexplained," Dipper told the camera, putting the pen back in his pocket. Mabel's hand came into view, a UFO key-chain in her hand. When she squeezed it, it lit up and buzzed. "Thank you. Today we investigate Gravity Falls anomaly #132: The Hide-Behind," Dipper said, holding up the cardboard. Willow stepped forward and held up the Journal, showing a tall shadow and diagrams of fork-toed footprints.

"Local lumberjacks tell of a mysterious creature, always just out of sight," she said before holding up a Polaroid photo of similar footprints. "But these photos suggest it might actually be real! Either way, we intend to find out!"

"HIDE BEHIND!" The two of them jumped as Mabel popped up from behind them, yelling a battle cry before laughing hysterically.

"Not cool Mabel!" Willow yelled at her, moving behind the camera as a female voice called up from downstairs.

"MY DAD'S HERE!" The voice said.

"THANKS WENDY!" Dipper yelled, looking at the camera. "We asked Manly Dan to come over for an interview. We figured he's the most likely person to have seen it." A few seconds of static later revealed Dipper standing next to the lumberjack, the parking lot and forest by the Shack in the background behind them.

"Thank you for coming," Dipper started, craning his head back to look Manly Dan in the eye, something hard considering the lumberjack was nearly two feet taller than him. "So, the Hide-Behind? Is it real?"

"Hide-Behind?" Dan repeated, glancing behind him. "He's real alright. REAL AS MY BEARD! He was behind me once… made this sound…" The sound he made was a combination of the _t_ sound and the _ch_ sound. "Mighty spooky."

"Don't believe every legend you hear, kids," a voice called over to them. Willow turned the camera to reveal a man in his late-sixties sitting on a couch on the porch. "The people in this town are literally the dumbest people in the world. Literally. The Hide-Behind's just a rumor."

"You callin' me a liar Pines?" Dan's voice growled, causing Stan to panic a bit.

"No Dan, I wasn't saying that at all. I was just saying that if the kids want a mystery, it should be the mystery of why-" A shadow, barley slow enough to see, darted past them.

"That's it!" "Run!" The view went crazy as Willow and Dipper took off into the woods, their family calling after them. Static took over before clearing to reveal a place in the woods, a tiny tree, barley more than a branch, sticking up out of the ground.

"After hours of searching, we've narrowed it down to this tree," Willow said, turning the camera to face her and Dipper in close-up. "I know what you're thinking; How do you catch a creature who's always out of sight? That's why I made… THESE!" The camera zoomed out, showing that the two of them now had different mirrors strapped to themselves.

"Great work on these mirror suits Wills. Nothing gonna sneak up on-"

"BLIND SPOT!" Mabel yelled, hanging upside-down behind them. She started laughing and dropped down, grinning like a goof.

"Again Mabel, NOT COOL!" Willow yelled, taking the camera off its tripod and walking closer to the tree, Dipper beside her. "Time for the Hide-Behind to finally be seen. In three… two… NOW!" They jumped around to the other side of the tree, revealing what was behind it. "Uuuhhh…"

"Cool!" Mabel yelled excitedly, bending down next to the creature and holding her arm out. The creature flew onto her arm, the object in its beak making a _t-ch_ sound. "Maraca owl!" Just like she said, perched on her arm was a dark-feathered owl with a bright-colored maraca held in its beak.

"Dipper, what time is it?" Willow asked, placing the camera back on its tripod.

"Almost four," he replied, removing his mirror suit and handing it to Willow, both turning to look at the camera. "Well, after six hours of research, based on lack of evidence, we have to conclude that anomaly 132, the Hide-Behind, is just a legend."

The three of them started walking away from the camera, observing Mabel's owl. Little did they know that a tall creature, looking like it was made of shadows, had risen up from behind the tree they had been looking at. The creature started following them, hiding behind a tree when they stopped walking.

"Did you hear something?" Willow asked, looking behind her. Her siblings shook their heads and they continued walking, the creature following them. He hid again when Willow turned back around. "I could have sworn…?"

"Wills, you're just being paranoid," Dipper told her. "Now come on. If we wanna look at that tooth I found the other day, we gotta get moving." Willow nodded and followed them, but then turned back around and grabbed the camera. While she was distracted, the creature that had been following them disappeared into the shadows.

 **Tooth**

"But don't you think we should get footage of it first?" Dipper's voice asked as the screen cleared. He and Willow were standing at the edge of a dock, fog surrounding them, both oblivious that the camera was recording.

"But if we go out now, then we'll need to make two trips, and we might not be able to find Tate, and we don't know what will happen out there, so we should save as much energy as possible," Willow told her brother, who nodded, conceding her points.

"Fine," he said, turning to look at the camera. "Welcome back to Pines' Guide to the Unexplained. The other day, I was… practicing… and I found a large tooth out on one of the islands. We'll be going out there soon to investigate, but first we are going to see if we can figure out what it might have come from."

The three of them went into the Gravity Falls Lake Shop, Tate McGucket standing behind the counter. "You're the one who's been hanging around with my dad the past few weeks, aren't you?" He asked Willow as they walked into the shop.

"That's me," she replied, walking up to him. "And he wanted me to tell you that he misses you and wants to be a part of your life again."

"I don't know how well that's going to work out. You know how he is," Tate told her, then leaning in even closer, he said; "But tell him that Soo is expecting." He pulled back and faced the three of them again. "So what do you kids want?"

"The other day, out on one of the islands, I found a giant tooth," Dipper told him. "Do you know anything about that?"

"Tooth?" Tate repeated, shaking his head. "Don't know nothing about a tooth."

"We were going to head over there later and take a look around," Willow told him. He moved close to them again.

"Word of advice? You kids see bubbles on that lake, run. Now no more questions; get that camera out of here!" The children left, heading back out to the dock and climbing into a boat. As they started rowing out onto the lake, Dipper turned to Willow.

"Sue?" He questioned.

"S-o-o," Willow told him. "She's from Korea. They got married a few months ago. Tate might not talk to his dad much, but McGucket knows how to get information."

They paddled on in silence, the fog getting thicker around them, so it was a surprise to all when the bottom of the boat scrapped along the sand. The three of them climbed out of the boat, Dipper in the lead. It wasn't long before the tooth came into sight. "Wow," Willow said simply, getting a closer look at it.

The roots of the tooth were embedded in the ground, the tooth standing at an angle. It was a good three, nearly four, times Willow's height, and the top was nearly two of her across. "Yeah, that's what I said," Dipper told her. "Mabel, what are you doing?" Said girl had picked up a stick and was poking the tooth with it.

"Seeing if it is still alive," she responded, putting the stick down and attempting to climb it. Willow gave her a look, then came back over to Dipper.

"That thing is HUGE!" She told him. Dipper nodded.

"That's why I wanted all of us to come," Dipper told her as Mabel came back up to them.

"That's why I brought Bear-O for backup!" She held up a stuffed bear puppet that had many tears in it, the stuffing coming out.

"No Bear-O. He's creepy. Everyone hates Bear-O."

"Who could hate Bear-O?" Mabel questioned in a fake voice.

"You do remember that puppet show you did last month," Willow reminded her.

"Come on! The four of us are the adventure team of a lifetime!" Static revealed the three of them back in the boat, paddling away from the island, Bear-O left on the beach, Mabel rowing angrily. She stopped and held up a cardboard sign, the words DO YOU WANT MORE BEAR-O?! LET YOUR VOICE BE HEARD! And her contact information written on it.

"Mabel, come on!" Dipper told her, grabbing the sign as Willow handed out flashlights.

"The people deserve to let their voice be heard!" Mabel told him, taking a flashlight from Willow and turning it on, looking around the water. "What are we supposed to be looking for anyway?"

"Not sure, but look out for bubbles in the water," Willow told her, the three of them looking around. It was only a matter of time before things started going south.

"Guys, look!" Mabel told her siblings, shining her flashlight at a point in the water near a small island. Bubbles were causing the water to ripple.

"Should we leave?" Willow questioned.

"Move back, but we have to see what happens," Dipper told them, the three of them starting to row backwards, keeping the bubbles and island in sight. As they moved back, the island began to shake.

"What's going on? What's happening?"

"Just row!" The three of them started rowing faster as the shaking of the island increased. The island lifted out of the water and started following the children's boat. It wasn't an island, but rather a giant floating head with glowing yellow eyes and a tooth missing from the top row. The mouth moved as the head got closer to the children, the words unclear. The head was right above their boat when the camera cut out and static took over.

When it came back on, the view was of the ground, feet just visible on the edge of the frame. "Girls! I found it!" Dipper voice said, the camera adjusting to show his face, now cut up and scraped. "Okay, after it attacked us, the giant head thing sunk back into the lake."

"It also tried to eat our boat, but it left another of its teeth behind," Willow added, walking up and aiming the camera to a now-wrecked boat with another large tooth in the center of the wreckage. She turned the camera back on the three of them, Mabel having walked up. "The important thing is that we survived. Barley."

"Yeah," Mabel said, sighing, before holding up Bear-O. In his voice, she said, "Did somebody say, bear-ly?" Her siblings yelled at her before the camera was turned off.

 **Mailbox (July 21st)**

The screen cleared to reveal Willow and Dipper in the forest, standing shoulder-to-shoulder. "Welcome back to Pines' Guide to the Unexplained," Willow started, glancing behind her. "Today we are investigating anomaly 54; this mailbox." The two of them separated, revealing an old, rusty mailbox with moss hanging from it.

"There it is, in the middle of the forest. No house; no address. Today the three of us-"

"Sup?" The voice of Soos questioned as he walked into the frame, wearing a lab coat and goggles, a letter in his hand.

"Are going to put a letter in and see what happens," Dipper finished, opening the door on the mailbox.

"The letter posits a salient question; Sup Dawg?" Soos put the letter in the mailbox and closed the door. "So now what's the plan?"

"We're gonna go hide in the bushes and wait for…" The mailbox started to shake, the three of them backing up. The flag raised on its own and the shaking stopping. "Uuuuuuuuummmmmm…"

"Did that just… did you see that?" Soos questioned, looking at the children, who both nodded slowly.

"Open it!" Dipper told him, pushing him forward.

"No way am I touching a ghost mailbox!" He responded. Willow sighed and stepped forward,

"You're both babies," she said, opening the mailbox slowly and reaching inside. She pulled out a piece of parchment with a red glob of wax holding it closed. An infinity symbol was imprinted in the wax. She opened it slowly and gasped before handing it to her brother.

"'Hello Willow, Dipper and Soos,'" Dipper read, holding it up for the camera to see. "It knows our names!"

"What if it's all knowing?" Soos questioned, looking back at it.

"Let's test it," Willow stated, pulling a notebook and pen out of her jacket and handing them to Soos, who spoke what he was writing out loud.

"What did I shave into my hair this morning?" He put the letter in and closed the door. The mailbox shook and the flag raised again. Soos pulled out a different letter, similar to the first they had received, and read from it. "'A baby duck holding a paddle ball.' It knew dudes!" He pulled his hat off, revealing a duck with a paddle ball cut into his hair.

"My turn!" Willow yelled, writing on a piece of paper. "Let's see… Which came first? The chicken or the egg?" She put it in the mailbox, then removed another letter when the shaking stopped. "'The chicken,'" it said simply.

"Let me try," Dipper said, taking his turn. "When is the end of the world?" He questioned. This time the shaking lasted longer than before, but the result was the same; old paper sealed with a glob of wax imprinted with an infinity symbol. "'3012,'" Dipper read. "We've got a while."

"What else should we ask it?" Willow questioned, holding a pen and paper. "Time and date of our deaths?"

"Did aliens build the pyramids?!" Soos told her.

"What is the meaning of life?" Dipper thought.

"What are marshmallows made of?!" Soos told them. Willow shook her head.

"It has to be something important, something that will give us all the answers…" At the same time, the three of them knew what the next question would be.

"WHO WROTE THE JOURNALS?!" "How many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie pop?!" The kids looked at Soos, who realized his mistake. "Who wrote the Journals?!"

"We're finally gonna get the answer to the greatest mystery in Gravity Falls!" Willow said excitedly, writing down the question.

"Hey guys!" Mabel walked into frame, a backpack over her shoulders. "Sweet mailbox! I've been wanting to mail Mom and Dad this video of me sticking 100 gummy worms up my nose!" She reached over her shoulder and pulled a package out of the backpack, placing it into the mailbox.

"MABEL!" "WAIT!" "DUDE!" The others yelled at her, but it was too late; she had closed the door of the mailbox. The mailbox shook and the flag raised. Dipper reached in and pulled out the letter.

"'Your gummy worm video has disturbed and insulted me. You fools are unworthy of my great knowledge. The era of human enlightenment shall never come to pass.'"

"That doesn't sound good…" Willow commented, glaring at her sister. The mailbox started to glow blue. "Mabel, what did you do?!"

"I didn't know!" Mabel defended herself.

"Just run!" Dipper yelled, the four of them taking off, away from the mailbox. The blue glow surged, spreading outward. Then the glow was sucked back into the mailbox, crunching it down to the size of a fist. Another blue glow went out, ten times brighter than before. The imploded mailbox disappeared, and the screen went white.

When the screen cleared, the four of them were standing in front of the area where the mailbox had once been, now a burnt crater about six feet across. Soos and the children were covered in soot, their hair out of place and half of the boys' clothes burnt off.

"I think this concludes Pines' Guide to the Unexplained," Dipper told the camera slowly, shock clear in his face. "I think we all learned something today."

"Yes we did," Willow said with and angry look at her sister. "We learned that when dealing with the unknown, you do NOT MAIL VIDEOS OF YOU SHOVING GUMMY WORMS UP YOUR NOSE!"

Mabel smiled, completely oblivious to her sibling's anger. "Don't worry. There's more where that came from!" She pulled a bag of gummy worms out of her backpack and brought one up to her nose.

"Mabel, no! Show over! Show over!" Dipper ran up to the camera and covered it with his hand before stopping the recording.

 **Lefty**

The screen revealed the three children standing on a sidewalk in the middle of town. "Alright, uh, we don't have a lot of time, cause his shift ends in five minutes, but welcome back to Pines' Guide to the Unexplained," Dipper said, glancing around him. "Today we investigate Anomaly 82…this guy." The camera moved to show the inside of a bowling alley, a man with thinning brown hair and a thick mustache reading a newspaper and drinking coffee behind the counter.

"Sure he looks normal, but if he's so normal explain why he's always facing left," Willow added. The man turned his paper and a sheet fell out and went behind him. Instead of turning around to grab it, the man walked backwards and picked it up, the right side of his face remaining unseen. "We've been stalking him-"

"Following!" Dipper interjected.

"…For weeks," Willow continued. "And we've never once seen the right side of his face, and neither has anyone else. But why? Mabel, theories?" The camera turned away from the man and focused back on Mabel, who had a manila envelope labeled TOP SECRET in her hands.

"Theory one, he's hiding an embarrassing sunburn," Mabel said, pulling out a drawing of the man with half of his body on fire. "Theory two, Half-man, half lizard-man!" The next drawing showed half of the man's body covered in green scales. "And theory three, my personal favorite; He's normal! And you two are just crazy!" The final drawing was of the man, nothing odd, and Dipper and Willow, eyes red swirls, screws in the air behind them.

"That's not a theory!" Dipper yelled, Willow taking the picture from her sister and ripping it in half. "Whatever it may be, we find out now!" The three of them walked into the alley, Willow behind the camera. "Hello sir!" Dipper called to the man as they entered.

"Sorry kids, cameras aren't allowed in here," the man told them.

"It's not on, not on," Willow told him, the man going back to his paper. "He bought it!" She whisper-yelled to the camera as Dipper walked up to the counter. The girls put on a show of looking around the building, although Willow made sure the camera was pointed at Dipper and the man.

"So, you wouldn't mind grabbing those bowling shoes for me?" Dipper asked, picking out a pair that were on the right side of the man.

"Those ones?" The man asked, Dipper nodding. Without turning around, the man backed up and grabbed the bowling shoes, placing them on the counter.

"Dipper, here's your wallet!" Willow called, throwing the wallet towards the two of them. Instead of going to Dipper's hands, the wallet went behind the counter.

"Oh, um, could you maybe turn around and grab that for me?" Dipper asked. The man sighed and backed up, grabbing the wallet from the floor and handing it to Dipper, not turning around.

"There you are sir," the man told him, folding up the paper he had been reading.

"Fine," Dipper said, grabbing the shoes and pocketing his wallet. "Could you just get me my bowling ball?"

"I don't see why not," the man said, walking out from behind the counter and over to the ball rack. "What were you thinking…?"

"I was thinking maybe the…" Dipper ran up and pushed the shoulder of the man, spinning him around and revealing with was hidden on the right side of his body.

There were different levels, different items in each. But the levels had one thing in common; there were small, thumb-sized creatures with green liquid inside them, controlling the part of the man that was normally in view. One of the creatures noticed the triplets and sounded the alarm.

"Guys! We're blown! Shut it down! Shut it down!" The creatures all pulled out bright, glowing red cubes and swallowed them, passing out and disappearing in small bursts of yellow light. The robot sparked, blue bursts of electricity spreading around it and causing the robot to break apart, crumbling in a heap of metal on the floor. The metal itself let out a burst of yellow light before it was consumed in flames, disappearing and leaving scorch marks on the carpet. The sprinklers turned on and the fire alarm went off. The children turned around at started running out of the alley.

"Well, that concludes anomaly 82, and I think this is it for Pines' Guide to the Unexplained," Dipper told the camera as the kids left the alley and started running down the sidewalk. "Girls, I think we might wanna burn this tape," he added to his siblings before the recording cut off for the final time.

* * *

 **Well, that was fun! I hope you guys like what I did with these, and I hope I did a good job of translating them; third person when the characters break the fourth wall is hard, so tell me what you thought. Anyway, we're back on normal updating schedule, so you can expect Sock Opera to be posted January 14th, so until then, HAPPY NEW YEAR!**


	24. Sock Opera

**And, we're back! I'm glad you guys liked what I did with the shorts, and I'm glad they made sense and came out okay. I did have to adjust some things, as you could see, but it looks like it worked. I had to adjust some things this time too, and some of them might not make sense. Remember, there is still Society of the Blind Eye and the second half of season two, so I'm trying to set some things in motion for those to work out how I want them to. But before we get into this chapter, shout-outs!**

 **gamelover41592- Not a problem; I loved the shorts and it was a lot of fun writing them. And here's to 2017!**

 **Fantasy Female Freak- Sock Opera has always been one of my favorites, mostly because of Bill; he's such an interesting character, and anything with him in it was INSANE, so writing this was a lot of fun. Some parts might not make sense because I have to worry about the rest of the season, but I think you'll like how everything plays out in the end. I loved all the shorts, but Hide-Behind had a different feel to it, and the Mailbox concept was interesting, but I loved them all. And Happy New Year to you too; I hope all your dreams come true. 2016 was an interesting year to say the least, so hopefully 2017 will be better. Although… with who we have taking over on the 20th, things will get real interesting real quick. But here's to the new year!**

 **Disclaimer: I only own Willow and anything you don't recognize from the show. Everything else belongs to Alex Hirsch.**

* * *

 **Mabel's POV (July 23rd)**

"Today's the day," Willow said, walking up to us, laptop in her hands. Every free second she had over the past few days had been spent working on that thing, and as of this morning, she had gotten it finished. It still looked old and beaten up, lots of duck-tape visible on the outside, but it did look cleaner and more like something that would work despite being 30-some years old.

"Wills, you are amazing," Dipper told her as she set it down on the table. We were in the library because we didn't know what we would find when we turned it on, so they figured it would be good to be close to an information source.

"Merci," she responded, yawning once. "We ready?" She asked, opening the lid. Dipper and I nodded and she hit the power button. The words SYSTEM STARTUP came on in green letters, then a green loading bar appeared. After loading, weird green circles and graphs appeared before the screen said WELCOME, five circles with a triangle around the center one under the word.

The three of us did our handshake, Willow yawning after we were done. She really needed some sleep. The laptop buzzed, the welcome screen being replaced by UNAUTHORIZED ACCESS FORBIDDEN in red letters. The words ENTER PASSWORD appeared in green letters, eight little lines under it.

"Dammit," Willow cursed. Dipper patted her shoulder.

"Hey, you got that thing fixed up all on your own. I think getting a password will be a cinch," he told her.

"He's right," I added. "With your skills, Dip's brains, and my laser focus, there's literally nothing that can distract us from… Did you hear that?" I turned around and saw a cute boy with blonde hair pulled back in a ponytail and blue eyes singing a puppet show for some little kids.

"Not again," I heard Dipper say from behind me, realizing that this was my newest crush, but whatever; at least I knew when a cause was lost.

"Just when I was getting over Mermando, of course you show up at my doorstep," I said, half to the boy, half to myself. I heard Dipper saying something about not liking Mermando, but then I was gone, waiting for the boys' show to end. As soon as the kids started to leave, I hopped onto a book cart and pushed myself over to him. He was talking to his puppets, which was a little weird, but who am I to talk?

"Hey!" I called to him, getting his attention. "Guess who's Mabel? I am! Care to learn more? I bet you do. You like to learn- WAA!" Smooth, Mabel. You fell off the cart. At least he isn't looking at you weird. Keep it going! Make it work! "And I'm up!" I said, standing up and dusting off.

"Hey, I'm Gabe Benson, master of puppets," he said, shaking my hand. "Nice to meet you."

"You're amazing with those puppets," I told him, a surprised look on his face.

"You really think so? Cause a lot of people think puppets are dumb, or just for kids or something."

"People are idiots," I told him. Terry Fator WON for crying out loud. "I'm puppet crazy! People call me Puppet-Crazy-Mabel!"

"Really? People used to call me Puppet-Crazy-Gabe!" This was going better than I thought. "So when's your next puppet show?"

"My huh?" This conversation just took an ugly turn.

"You can't truly love puppets if you're not throwing puppet shows, right?" You THROW puppet shows? People do that? I couldn't let him know I was lying before.

"Um, yeah, I'm actually in the middle of a puppet show right now." Okay, yeah, not the BEST thing to tell him.

"What are the details?" He asked. I really had to start preparing better.

"There are soooo many details…" I started out, trying to think of something I could tell him without getting busted. After I was done telling him about my 'puppet show' he gave me an impressed look.

"That sounds amazing. When is it?" Okay, the other questions I was able to handle. But him wanting to see it when everything I had just told him was a lie? I panicked.

"It's in in three days!" I told him, WAY to enthusiastically. He nodded.

"What time?"

"Six."

"In that case, I'll see you at six Thursday night." With that, he left me alone to kick myself for letting things go so far. I knew what had to be done, but I felt bad about it; they had their own things to be doing. But I knew they would help me, even if they didn't really want to.

I walked back over to the corner where they had the biggest dictionary in the library open, Dipper calling out words, Willow typing them. Of course, there was a chance that it wasn't a word, just a bunch of random numbers and/or letters, but they had to start somewhere.

"So how'd it go? Aardvark," Dipper said as I walked up, Willow typing in the word. The laptop buzzed and the letters disappeared, but the rest of the screen stayed the same. I sighed, and while Willow typed in the next word, I told them what happened.

"How hard do you think it'd be to write and compose a sock puppet rock opera with lights, original music and live pyrotechnics by Thursday?" The laptop buzzed again and both of them turned to stare at me.

"Are you serious?" "What is wrong with you?"

"I DON'T KNOW WHAT HAPPENED!" I yelled, starting to pace. "I got lost in his eyes and his ponytail and I'm gonna be so embarrassed if I don't have anything!"

"What about the laptop and cracking the password?"

"If you guys help me with this JUST until Thursday, I promise I'll help with the password! Please! It's for love!" That was it; we all understood the power of love, so they both nodded, although I could tell it was reluctantly. I owed them BIG TIME after this. "THANK YOU! THANK YOU! THANK YOU! YOU TWO ARE THE BEST!" I yelled, causing everyone else in the library to shush us. But I didn't care; they were on board. The next few days would be crazy, but it would be SO worth it in the end.

 **Willow's POV (July 25th)**

So that was how we spent our next few days. Most of it was helping Mabel with her show, doing whatever she needed us to. But every extra second Dipper and I had was spent with the laptop, trying thousands of different passwords. Most of it was a blur of socks and buzzing sounds and Mabel Juice.

The show was tomorrow night, so it was midnight before Mabel was ready for bed. Of course, that meant it was time for Dipper and I to get to work. Sleep could wait until after we had that thing figured out.

"What are we on?" I asked, yawning and sitting down on Dipper's bed. We had borrowed the dictionary from the library and were using that to keep track of the words.

"Half through the D's," he responded, flipping the dictionary open and biting on the collar of his shirt. I groaned; we weren't anywhere close to getting done.

"Don't stay up all night guys," Mabel told us. "Last night Dipper started eating his shirt, and Willow was climbing the rafters."

"That explains the splinters in my hands," I said, looking down at them and yawning. Dipper spit out his shirt and grabbed the dictionary.

"Let's go," Dipper said, grabbing all the stuff off his bed. The two of us went down to the gift shop then used Wendy's ladder to get up to the roof. We were half through the E's, I think it was ELEPHANT, when things started going to hell.

The laptop buzzed for like the millionth time. Dipper got mad and punched the keyboard. I was mad at myself; I had done all that work to fix it and get it up and running, then to not be able to access it because of a stupid password!

"There has to be a better way to do this," I said to myself, but Dipper heard me.

"Could you alter the code?" He asked. I thought about it for a few seconds, then shook my head.

"I probably could access the code, but it's so old that it's just as likely I'll mess something up as I'll be able to bypass the password. Not saying I couldn't do it, but let's save that as a last resort."

"Okay, but you're right. There has to be some kind of shortcut or clue," he said, pulling the journal and black-light out of his vest, even though there was nothing in there. There was a page of the laptop, but there wasn't anything about the password in there. "Who would know about secret codes?"

All of a sudden, it felt like the temperature dropped ten degrees. Dipper and I wrapped our jackets around us tighter as the wind picked up, strong enough to blow the lid of the laptop closed. We stood up and went back-to-back, slowly spinning around. The moon got ten times brighter, shining down on us like a spotlight. A black line appeared in the middle of the moon, resembling a cat eye. Glowing blue bricks formed around the moon, placing it at the center of a triangle. It sparked and blue lightning went everywhere, the color disappearing from the world. Skinny arms and legs, a top hat, and a bow tie all appeared, revealing a familiar and hated creature from nightmares.

"I THINK I KNOW A GUY!" Bill Cipher told us, his voice echoing all around. All we could do was stare at him as he made a yellow cane appear in his hand, twirling it around his wrist. "You're awfully persistent, Oak Leaf. Hats off to you!" Bill took his hat off and offered it to us, the world going sideways and us losing our balance. He put his hat back on, the world righting itself. That unfroze us, although all we could do was say his name.

"Did you miss me?" He asked, making I guess what he assumed to be an 'innocent' look. But there was LITERALLY NOTHING about him that was innocent. "Admit it, you missed me!"

"You worked with Gideon! You tried to destroy our uncle's mind!" I yelled at him, hugging the laptop against my chest. Bill getting his hands on that was the LAST thing we needed! "And you almost killed us like twenty times!"

"It was just a job kid," he said, floating closer to us. "No hard feelings! I've been keeping an-" he grew to be three times his normal size and turned red. "-EYE ON YOU-" he returned to normal. "-Since then, and I must say I'm impressed."

"Yeah right," I told him, not trusting a word he was saying.

"Seriously, you deserve a prize! Here, have a head that's always screaming!" He clapped and a head that looked like Khal Drogo from G _ame of Thrones_ appeared near us, screaming its… body off. Bill laughed and snapped, the head disappearing layer by layer. "My point is I like you. How's about you let me give you a hint, huh? I only ask for a small… FAVOR!" On the last word, his eye went blue and blue fire appeared in his hand.

How DUMB did he think I was? I'd rather die than make a deal with that creature. I'd seen the damage he could cause, and there was no way I wanted to be a part of that. No amount of knowledge was worth being a catalyst for the kinds of destruction he could bring. But all I said was; "We'd never do a favor for you! Don't forget we defeated you last time!"

"Right," he said, coming up behind me. "You 'defeated' me. Well just know that I'll be here for you, ready to make a deeeaall." Three slots that looked like they belonged on a slot machine appeared on him, spinning around and landing on three pine trees like the one on Dipper's hat. That made me realize Dipper had barely moved since Bill had appeared. I didn't have time to focus on that because the slots disappeared. "Hey, wanna hear my impression of you in about three seconds?" He screamed and waved his arms around before he disappeared in a burst of white.

I sat up and screamed, waving my arms around, accidently hitting Dipper on the nose. Then I realized that the sky was just starting to get brighter. "What the…?"

"First off, OW!" Dipper told me, rubbing his nose. It was still sensitive from being broken, but it didn't look like I really hurt him. "And secondly, we both fell asleep. You went out first. That was around two in the morning. It's about five thirty now. I woke up like a half hour ago and you were still out. And no, I didn't figure it out yet," he said as I tried to interrupt him. "Anyway, maybe ten minutes ago, you started twitching and talking in your sleep. What were you dreaming about?"

I told him about my nightmare, his expression darkening the entire time. When I was done telling Dipper what had happened, the sun was just starting to peek over the horizon, but his face was as dark as ever. "Whoa," he said when I was done explaining, which pretty much summed it up.

"How do you think I feel?" I asked sarcastically. Bill appearing the first time had been bad enough, but this… He had appeared IN MY DREAM, and offered to make a deal. Deal meant the both sides got something, and if there was something that Bill wanted from us, that was _BAD._ I'd rather die than help that creature in any way, but something about the slots stopping on Pine Tree symbols, instead of Oak Leaves, which Bill insisted on calling us for some reason…

"We have to be careful from now on," Dipper said, reading my thoughts. "We don't want Bill to get his hands on that, or give him anything that could help him with whatever it is he's planning."

"You're right. We ALL have to be on guard. Let's go tell Mabel to keep her eyes open." We grabbed our stuff and climbed off the roof. Mabel wasn't awake yet, and we knew she needed her sleep for tonight (yeah, yeah, I know; we need to sleep too, but we were fine) so we just kept trying passwords. We had just started the F's at about eight when Mabel woke up.

"What time is it?" She asked, waking up easily. Then she actually saw us. "What did I tell you guys? Please tell me you got some sleep last night."

"Not exactly," I told her. "Last night I had a dream with Bill in it." Mabel smile disappeared instantly.

"The triangle guy?" She confirmed, holding her thumb and index finger around her eye in the shape of a triangle. "What did he say?"

I told her about my dream, keeping it simple. With Dipper, I had gone into major detail, but I gave Mabel the abbreviated version. "Long story short, he said he would give me a hint if we did a favor for him. Like we'd ever trust him with anything."

"Don't worry guys. Today's the day that the three of us are back in action. As soon as I drop everything off to my production crew, I'll help you guys crack the code."

"Production crew?"

 **Dipper's POV (July 26th)**

Okay, we REALLY needed to get some sleep. We missed a lot over the past few days. Candy and Grenda were Mabel's production crew, and I'll give them credit; they did a really good job helping Mabel get ready. Apparently, Candy's parents owned the Theatre Time Theater (which the schools use for their yearly plays) so getting them to let us use it had been a piece of cake.

"We read the script, very emotional," Candy said, she and Grenda taking some of Mabel's supplies.

"I cried like eight times!" Grenda added before a voice called to us from the driveway.

"Hey ladies!" Gabe said, skating over and skidding to a stop beside Mabel. "I was just bladin' by. Helps me dry out my ponytail after a shower," he said, taking his helmet off and shaking his hair. I heard Candy say something under her breath, and even though I don't speak Korean, it didn't sound good. Mabel didn't hear, instead getting really close to Gabe's face.

"It's so great to see you! I'm almost done with the world greatest puppet show! IT HAS PUPPETS!" I sighed; Mabel was going to ruin this before the show even started, but Gabe didn't seem to care.

"Your passion is so refreshing Mabel. Unlike the girl from last night's puppet show. Single-stich on one puppet, cross-stich on another?" Okay, yeah, sure. Whatever that means. It didn't even look like Mabel knew what he was talking about. "Naturally I deleted her off my cell phone contacts list."

"Naturally!" Mabel agreed way too enthusiastically. I wasn't sure about this guy; sure he wasn't BAD looking, but if he had some other girls number in his phone, then deleted it because of a bombed show, he probably wouldn't take any relationship real seriously. But I had better things to worry about than Mabel's random crush of the week.

"I know you won't let me down," Gabe continued, taking Mabel's hands, which obviously didn't help her focus. "Based on what you said the other day, you must be a puppet expert."

"I… you… puppets… kiss me," she stuttered. Gabe smiled and kissed her knuckles.

"Until tonight," he said, putting his helmet back on and skating off back down the driveway. As soon as he was out of sight, Mabel started freaking out.

"GGGAAAHHH! We gotta up our game! Did you hear what he said about the stitches?!" It didn't help that Grenda ripped the arms off a puppet of herself, Candy had put like twenty googly eyes on one of them, and the sets Soos and Wendy had been trying to put on top of Stan's car fell off and broke in half. "AAAHHH! Okay, I'm back of fabrication. Get me my lint roller!" She grabbed the boxes back from Grenda and Candy and was about to run back into the house when Willow grabbed her.

"What happened to helping us with the password?" She asked, Mabel coming up short.

"Guys, this sock crisis just bumped up to a code argyle!" Okay… "The laptop can wait!" That was it. The laptop had been 'waiting' for the past three days, and all Mabel has done was waste our time.

"Mabel, do you seriously think that your random crush of the week is more important than uncovering the mysteries of the town? You're obsessed!"

"I'm obsessed? Look at you! You guys look like vampires! And not the hot kind!" She yelled at us. We glanced at each other, noticing the dark bags under our eyes. We both tried to rub them away, but I don't think it helped anything. We REALLY needed some sleep, but we could catch up after we figured that thing out.

"You said you were gonna help us today!" I told her.

"What would I really be doing anyway? Do you really need three people to type words?" She… did have a point with that, but it wasn't as much about her helping than her… "You want me to help, fine! Try STARWARS! Girls, let's go!" She and her friends went over to Soos and Wendy as Willow and I walked back upstairs to the attic.

STARWARS didn't work (I didn't think it would), so we went back to following the dictionary. We got through the G's and had just started the H's (ironically, the word was HACKABLE) at about five in the afternoon when Willow got desperate. "That's it!" She yelled, snatching the laptop from me and typing at what could have been 100 words a minute. I swear, whatever energy reserves she had left had just been activated.

I couldn't tell what she was doing, partly because I didn't understand code, but mostly because she wouldn't let me see the screen (something about distracting her, I don't know) but when her face froze for a good thirty seconds, then she stood up, started pacing and cursing, I didn't have to look at the screen to know something BAD had just happened.

"Emergency security measures activated," the laptop said in a monotone robotic voice. I looked at the screen, the words appearing in green letters. "Initiate data erase in five minutes." The words ONE ENTRY REMAINING appeared above a clock that was counting down from five.

"Wills, what, did, you, _DO?!"_ I yelled, pausing after each word for emphasis, grabbing her shoulders and shaking her.

"I, don't, _KNOW!"_ She yelled back, repeating my tone. "Does it really matter? The point it, we have…" she glanced at the screen, "4 minutes to figure out how to stop that thing from deleting EVERYTHING!"

The attic went black and white and Bill appeared in the window, his legs crossed, blue fire in his hands. I looked at Willow and saw that she had frozen mid-step. Whatever that meant was happening right now meant Bill was just talking to me and I was on my own. I could have sworn I heard Willow's voice calling my name, but it sounded like she was talking to me from underwater. "Someone's looking desperate," Bill said lazily, floating away from the window and leaning on Willow like she was a wall.

"Willow told you to leave us alone, and she speaks for both of us when it comes to you," I told him, glancing at the laptop. 3:30 left. Hopefully Willow was working on a fix.

"I can help you Pine Tree. You just need to hear out my demands," he said, making a cane appear out of thin air. The timer was now down to three minutes. I sighed; it wouldn't HURT to hear what Bill wanted. But if Grunkle Stan had taught me anything, it was that when making deals, you could NEVER look too interested, because that gives the other person power.

"What crazy thing do you want anyway?" I asked, trying to look uncaring, and for good measure, adding: "To eat my soul? To rip out my teeth? Are you gonna replace my eyes with baby heads or something?"

"Yeesh kid, relax," Bill said, actually laughing at that. "All I want is a puppet!" Like I would ever… did he say puppet?

"A… A puppet? What are you playing at?" The fact that he would ask for something so simple, so harmless… this had to be some kind of trick.

"Everyone loves puppets. And it looks to me like you've got a surplus," he said, making some of Mabel's show supplies glow blue. I looked at the laptop again, which was now under two minutes. I really wished I knew what Willow was doing, but considering it hadn't stopped counting down, I had to assume she hadn't found a fix yet.

"Mabel worked really hard on those," I told him, although, as much as I hated to admit it, his offer was becoming more and more tempting as the seconds counted down.

"Seems one little puppet is a small price to pay to learn all the secrets of the universe," he said, his voice echoing on the last word. "Besides, what's Shooting Star done for you lately? How many times have you sacrificed for her? And when has she ever returned the favor?" He did have a point there. I had given up chances with Wendy twice, and even though things had worked out in the end, Mabel had never really paid me back. I looked at the laptop, which was now at one minute and counting.

"Tick tock kid," Bill said, his eye becoming a clock and him making blue fire appear in his hand. I sighed, not believing what I was about to do, but desperate times call for desperate measures.

"Just one puppet?" I clarified, Bill nodding. From far away, I know I heard Willow say my name, but I had to do this. "I'm sorry Wills," I said, not sure if she could hear me or not, but it never hurt. I stood up straight and reached out, shaking Bill's hand. The fire spread to my hand as well, but I didn't feel it. Then I realized something. "So, what puppet are you gonna pick anyway?" I asked, not that I was really THAT worried about it. Mabel had made a lot of extras that she didn't really NEED, and she had made back-ups of the important ones, so any that he picked wouldn't hurt anybody.

"Let's see," he said, pointing at some different puppets around the room. "Eeeny, meeny, miney…" His eye went red and he pointed at me, his voice going demonic as he said, "YOU!"

Since we've been up here, I've felt some weird things, but this took the prize. I don't really know how to describe it, but I'll do my best. You know how when you're in a car and the driver slams the brakes really fast? You feel like you're going to fly forward out of your body, but then your seatbelt pulls you back. Imagine how it would feel without your seatbelt on, and that's as close as I can get to describing how it felt.

One second I was shaking hands with Bill, the world black and white, Willow frozen from what I could tell. The next second, I was seeing the attic from the perspective you would have on a security camera, the color back in the world. I glanced down and saw that I looked like a ghost, transparent and intangible. Willow was bending down next to my body, which had collapsed against the wall, the laptop in the window seat behind it, the timer showing thirty seconds.

"The laptop!" I yelled at Willow, but whatever Bill had done to me made it so she couldn't hear. With fifteen seconds left, my body stood up, and let me tell you; it was just WRONG, and not just because I now had Bill's cat eyes. A mirror or a photograph doesn't capture how other people see you. The only thing that does that is seeing yourself from another person's perspective. I could see how tired I was and how much I needed to sleep, but I couldn't focus on that; I was focused on what Bill was doing.

"Sorry kid, but you're my puppet now!" Bill yelled, his voice still his from what I could tell. He pushed Willow away from him, causing her to fall across the bed. Before she could get back up and do anything, Bill grabbed the laptop and threw it on the ground, stomping on it. It looked worse than it did when we had found it in the Bunker; wires were sticking out and I could tell that some important pieces had been smashed.

"YOU!" Willow yelled, kicking herself up off the bed and charging at Bill. If she had any concerns about fighting something that looked like me, she didn't show them. She attacked full-force, bending low to try and sweep my feet out from under me. Bill jumped over her leg and before she could react, he grabbed her ankle and pushed her back, sending her sprawling.

Bill ran over to her and tried to grab her, but she kicked him in the gut, sending him back a few paces, not hurting him, but giving herself time to stand up and catch her breath. Bill ran at her and tried to kick her, but she grabbed his ankle and threw him back. Unfortunately, Bill had grabbed her wrists, so when he went down, she came with him. They both fell, Willow on top, trying to pin Bill down. He threw her to the side and wrapped his legs around her neck in a scissor hold. After a few seconds of struggling, Willow went limp.

"That'll show you not to mess with me," Bill said, taking one leg off her and pushing her, none too gently, off his other leg and standing up. "Maybe next time you'll-" I smiled; Bill had fallen for that hook, line and sinker. Not only had Bill believed Willow was unconscious and released her to move freely, it had also given her time to catch her breath and get her second wind. As Bill walked past her legs, she stuck one out in front of him and put the other one behind, squeezing and pulling him down backwards, sending him crashing to the floor.

She stood up and went over to him, Bill kicking her in the gut. But the difference between when she did it and this time was Bill had grabbed her wrists again and kept her close to him, not giving her time to catch her breath, which would have been helpful after that kick. Bill sat up a bit, not fully, and put his foot back in her abdomen. He leaned back fast and pulled, taking her up and over, making her roll into the closet, causing her to go limp again. She was still breathing, but she wasn't moving. Bill walked over and slammed the door shut, locking it with her inside and dusting his hands off.

"Man, was that FUN!" Bill yelled gleefully, walking over to the mirror and looking at my body in it. "I forgot how much fun it was inhabiting a body!" He slapped both of my cheeks excitedly. "Pain is hilarious! And two eyes? This thing's deluxe!" I don't know what it was, but something finally snapped me out of the trance I had been in during the fight and everything that had just happened in the past five or so minutes came back to me.

"Why are you doing this? I thought we had a deal!" I yelled at Bill as he opened the door to the attic and walked out. I followed behind him, floating through the wall, which was actually something I could get used to. It was definitely a real time saver. He closed the door and locked it, then turned and looked directly at me.

"Oh kid, we do have a deal. I said I wanted a puppet in exchange for a _hint,_ and sooner or later you'll see I followed through. Technically, I never said I wanted a _sock puppet._ You just assumed that was what I meant; That one's on you, not me. As for why… Let's just say you kids were getting way too close to figuring out some major answers. I've got big plans coming and I don't need you getting in the way. Destroying the laptop was easier than I thought. Now I just need to destroy your journal. Race ya to the bottom of the stairs!" With that, he literally threw himself down the steps. I winced: I was gonna have some major bruises after this. Then I floated through the floor and into the kitchen.

"Human soda!" Bill said excitedly from the fridge. He pulled out a can of Pitt Cola and popped the top. "I'm gonna drink it like a person!" He tilted his head back and started waterfalling the drink into his mouth and all over his face, draining it in ten seconds. He threw the can into the corner and opened one of the drawers. "Where do you keep that journal anyway? It's gotta be around here somewhere. And for someone with noodle arms, these things are pretty durable." He said that last bit because he had started slamming the drawer shut on my arm repeatedly.

"I've hidden it!" I told him, for once glad to be paranoid. "It's somewhere you'll never find it in a million years!" Because of how old the Shack is, some of the loose floorboards make pretty good hiding spaces/cubby holes. I just had to hope Bill wouldn't-

"Hey Dipper!" Mabel yelled at us from the doorway, her next words running together. "IborrowedyourjournaltouseasapropintheshowIhopeyoudon'tmindI'mgonnagobeforeyouprocessthesentenceokayBBBYYYEEE!" I barley understood half of that, but the important parts I got: Bill now knew where the journal was. I looked back at him and saw that he was grinning like a shark. I really needed to start brushing better.

"Sounds great sis! See you at the show!" I had to stop Mabel, tell her that I wasn't me, but by the time I got outside, Mabel was already in Grunkle Stan's _El Diablo_ , getting ready to pull out. I started yelling at them, floating in front of the car, trying to get them to stop and see me, realize something was off, but Stan just drove right through me, not even noticing I was there. I thought my voice echoed a bit, but I wasn't sure; All this was new to me.

"Welcome to the mindscape kid," Bill told me, walking up to where I was staring at the car drive away in shock. "Without a vessel to possess you're basically a ghost." That explained the intangibility. Someone called to us from behind. We both turned around and saw Wendy and Soos walking up to me. Again, I tried to get their attention, let them know what had happened, but I just floated through Soos like I wasn't even there. This time I know my voice echoed, whatever that meant.

"We're heading to the theater. You and Wills need a ride?" YES! Willow was still unconscious (Wow. Never thought I would consider someone being unconscious a good thing)! Now they would realize something was off!

"I do. Willow said she would meet up with us there. She's still trying to figure out that laptop," he said, the three of them walking towards Soos' pickup, me floating behind them.

"We're gonna stop you Bill!" I told him as he climbed into the backseat of the truck. "We're gonna get that journal before you do and we're gonna stop you!"

"But how can you stop me…" He said, slowly turning to look at me as his window started going up. "…If you don't exist?" The truck pulled away, Bill maniacal laughter ringing in my ears as they drove off.

I floated back upstairs to see if Willow was okay. She was just starting to wake up and I had no doubts she would have trouble getting out. After that, I started literally floating through town towards the theatre. Despite the urgency of the situation, I took it slow, thinking over everything that had happened. Most of it consisted of _I'm an idiot_ or _Willow's gonna kill me_ and variations on that, but between those statements was me thinking about what Bill said to me.

"… _A hint, and… you'll see I followed through."_ If I had learned anything from the first time, it was that Bill took his deals VERY seriously. That raised the question: What was the hint he gave us? Whatever it was, it was there somewhere. We just had to find it.

"… _Close to figuring out some major answers."_ That was good. Bill had come to us; that meant we were close enough that he was nervous and felt the need to destroy the laptop… and the journal. Losing the laptop was bad enough, but if we lost the journal too, we were dead, me especially. That thing had saved our lives more times than I could count, and I couldn't imagine losing it. It was the only thing I could think of that would help me out of this situation.

" _I've got big plans coming…"_ Whatever those 'plans' were, Bill thought we were a threat to them. I don't know if that was good or bad, but either way, there was no way those plans were good news for us. Whatever happened after this, we HAD to make sure Bill wasn't able to fulfill his plans.

And just like that, I floated through a building and wound up at the theatre. The marquee above the building read GLOVE STORY: A SOCK OPERA BY MABEL PINES. I floated through the walls and into the main room. Surprisingly, most of the seats were filled up. I glanced around, looking for a familiar red head. They were in the front row, Bill with his arms around Wendy and Soos. I floated towards them, actually glad no one could see me, and hid behind their row of seats.

"Guys! You all made it!" I heard Mabel say to them. Great! She was falling for Bill's ruse, and didn't even realize Willow wasn't here.

"By the by Mabel, where'd you put my journal again?" I heard Bill ask. I wasn't sure who's voice it was anymore. I heard his voice, but nobody thought he sounded weird, so I couldn't tell 100%.

"I'm using it as a prop in the wedding scene," Mabel told him. "But it's the only part not played by a puppet. I still need a reverend."

"What if I play the reverend?" Bill offered. I attempted to face-palm, but my hand just went right through my head. That was a little weird, but I had more important things to deal with. Mabel had accepted and was dragging Bill backstage. I floated through the chairs and curtains, following them to where Mabel had put her costumes. She gave Bill the reverend outfit and showed him to the bathroom, then went onstage to get ready for the show that was starting any minute.

I floated up to give myself a view of the audience. The lights flickered and Grenda's voice announced that the show was starting. The house lights turned off and the stage lights came on, making it practically impossible for me to see anybody. I thought I saw those government agents, but like I said, it was impossible to tell for sure. A minute into the show, the doors on the left flew open, the person in silhouette, but from the way they marched down the aisle, I knew it was Willow. She went up to where Grunkle Stan, Soos and Wendy were sitting, talked to them for like two seconds, then turned back around and ran up the aisle and out the doors. She would be coming up here sooner or later. I had to figure out a way I could get her to hear me. Then something else Bill had said to me earlier came back to me.

" _Without a vessel to possess…"_ Where would I find- I noticed the extra puppets Mabel had made. Those would work. It was a bit weird trying to get one on my hand because of the intangibility, but I got it figured out. I floated around backstage until I saw a star with Mabel's name on it on a door. I floated inside and saw Willow already there, pacing around furiously, muttering under her breath.

"Don't kill me," I said, making her jump and getting her attention. When she saw the floating puppet of me I had found, twenty different expressions came on her face in the space of two seconds, anger the most prominent among them.

"You don't want to know what I'm thinking right now," she growled at me. I sighed, knowing how hard it was for her to be holding her feelings in right now.

"Okay," I sighed. "Let me have it." The next words that came out of her mouth would have made a drill sergeant blush, and I deserved every second of it. After a good ten minutes during which I was glad I was intangible, she finally calmed down. "You done?"

"Yeah. I'm still pissed at you though," she told me, which the last ten minutes made obvious. "Now, tell me EXACTLY what happened, word for word."

That took a while, mostly because she stopped me after every sentence so she could write it down for future reference. Then I had to tell her the entire story again from the beginning to make sure we hadn't missed anything, so by the time we were done, the show was about to go to intermission.

"Okay then. We'll worry about what Bill said later. Right now, we have to get Bill out of your body." Just then, the lights flickered and the door flew open, Mabel walking in and talking to herself. When she noticed Willow talking to a floating puppet of me, she flipped out and threw a fork at the puppet.

"It's come to life! The puppet books didn't warn me about this!" She yelled, hiding behind Willow, who moved away from her and smacked her on the back of the head.

"Long story short, Dipper's an idiot, Bill's a piece of crap, and now you have to get us the Journal back before Bill destroys it," Willow told her. Again, I deserved everything she was saying about me.

"My cue's coming up any minute!" Mabel told us before someone knocked on the door. It opened a bit and Gabe's head poked through.

"Mabel, you have a minute?" He questioned, opening the door fully. Mabel grabbed the puppet I was using out of the air and hid it behind her back, pulling me down into an uncomfortable position behind her. "Mabel, it's clear to me that you really love puppets. I mean, you went whole hog. And if you stick the ending, maybe later you could join me for a biscotti?" In that moment, I realized two things. One, I REALLY didn't like this guy. And two, Mabel is an idiot.

"You drive a biscotti?" She questioned, actually letting go of my arm. I let it fall to the ground; we didn't need anybody else knowing about what was going on right now. The lights started flickering.

"I'll be waiting," Gabe told her, leaving us alone again. As soon as he was gone, Mabel turned to us.

"You hear that! He's loving this! The rest of the play has to be flawless! Can't it wait until after the show?" I stand by my previous statement: she is an idiot.

"If Bill gets his hands on that thing, I'll be a sock puppet forever!" I yelled at her, making her laugh.

"Sorry, but the puppet looks funny when you're mad!" She said through the laughter. I growled at her and she stopped laughing, handing me some puppets. "Okay, okay. Just cover for me till I get back with the book," she said, walking out. I attempted to hand the puppet stuff to Willow, but she refused them.

"I'm gonna go look for Bill and keep him out of the way. This is your punishment for making a deal with him. Now get out there!" She grabbed my arm and flung me through the walls. I sighed and got the puppets on my arms, flipping the script open to the proper page. The curtains opened and I continued the show. Earlier when I said Mabel was an idiot, I couldn't really talk. I had trusted Bill. If anyone was an idiot, it was me, and I deserved this. I just hoped Mabel would be able to get the Journal, because it would be weird explaining to Mom and Dad why their son was now a sock puppet for all of eternity.

 **Mabel's POV**

As I climbed up the ladder to the catwalk, I realized something: It would have been easier on everyone if I had just told Wills where the journal was. She could grab it, Dipper could stay in the dressing room, and I could have continued with the show. But hindsight is 20/20, so I had to make the best of this. And it was partly my fault too; I had taken the book without really asking, so I did feel kind of obligated to get it back for them

I walked across the catwalk slowly, trying not to make noise since the mics were hanging from the walkway. I glanced inside the cake and saw the journal sitting there. I climbed over the railing of the catwalk and started reaching for the journal, but it was too far away. I stretched out a bit more, now trying to grab the cake itself, when the hand I had on the railing slipped and I fell into the cake.

I grabbed the journal and wrapped my body around it, bracing for impact. Although, truth be told, I was more worried about the show being ruined that me getting hurt. Good news was someone, probably Willow, grabbed the other end of the rope and started pulling the cake back up to the catwalk. "Come on, come on! There must be a way to get Dipper's body back!" I said to myself, starting to flip through the journal.

"But why would you want to do that?" I looked up and finally saw it. I see Dipper every day, and now that I actually looked, there were noticeable differences between the two of them. For starters, the eyes. Normally cat eyes are cute, but on Dipper, they just looked wrong. Secondly was the smile. Dipper doesn't smile much, and when he does, it's only a small smile for maybe a second. Bill was smiling like a shark; it was creepy. Although he was working that suit I gave him. I've said it before; Dipper looks pretty good in suits, and even though Bill was possessing him, it still looked nice. And he did have better posture than Dipper. But that didn't change the fact that I hated him.

"Bill Dipper!" I whisper-yelled at him. I couldn't really call him Dipper, cause Dipper was now a sock, and I couldn't really call him Bill since he was in Dipper's body, so I decided to call him, "Bipper!"

"Shh! You wouldn't want to ruin the show…" Bipper told me, gesturing behind him to where Gabe was sitting in the audience, thankfully still enjoying the show. Bill 'accidentally' let go of the rope, making me fall a foot of two before he grabbed it again, pulling me back up. "How's about you hand that book over?"

"No way! I'd never give it away!" I told him. I'm not stupid. It different taking something for a few hours and giving something away to someone else who is evil and will destroy it along with your entire family.

"You didn't have a problem taking it for your own play." But that was different! I was gonna give it back! "Or ditching them when they needed you." Like they needed three people to type words! "So, come to your senses. Give me the book or your play is ruined." I sighed. They were gonna kill me for doing this, but it had to be done. I started handing the journal to Bill. "There it is. I mean, who would sacrifice everything they've worked for just for their dumb sibling?"

I am an _**IDIOT!**_ (And yes, all that is required.) I finally understood what's been going on the past few days. Although you don't need three people to type words, they've probably only gotten like ten hours of sleep, which is not a lot. If I had helped them, even for just a day, it would have given them time to get some sleep, which I had been telling them to do. But it wasn't really about me helping them. It was about me putting my siblings first, which is what they had been doing for me, even though I haven't paid them back. Until now.

"They would," I said, pulling the Journal back to me, taking Bipper with it. He let go of the rope and landed next to me in the cake, the two of us crashing to the floor, destroying the sets. We rolled out of the cake and along the stage, wrestling for the Journal. I yanked it away from Bipper and slammed it on his face, wincing slightly. I climbed off Bipper and moved away from him, glad to see that I hadn't re-broken his nose, and also glad to see that Bill was starting to feel Dipper's exhaustion. Already his movements were getting sluggish, although Bill didn't seem to notice yet.

"You can't stop me!" Bill yelled, standing up and moving closer. "I'm a being of pure energy with no weakness!" He jumped, tackling me down. I smiled; he was in a perfect position.

"True, but you're in Dipper's body, and I know all his weaknesses!" Bipper looked confused, giving me the moment I needed to bring my hand up and start tickling his armpit. He started laughing and fell off me, curling in on his stomach, giving me time to stand up.

"Body spasms! What are these?" He questioned, standing up and starting to chase me. I smiled; Dip's exhaustion was now clearly evident in Bipper's face. I just had to get him to notice.

"Little fact about the human body- You haven't slept in almost 24 hours!" I told him, running around the stage, glad to see that he now noticed the tiredness. "Also, I got a full night's sleep and I'm on four mega-shots of Mabel Juice!" I swear, now that he knew how tired Dipper was, it was shown clearly on his face where it hadn't been a few minutes ago. I didn't even have to run anymore. A turtle could move faster than he was right now. I stopped running and turned around, watching him.

"What is this feeling?" He questioned, sluggishly moving around like a drunk person. "My body is burning! I can't move these stupid noodle legs! Curse you useless flesh sticks!" He yelled that part, punching his leg, trying to get them working again. It didn't work and he started tripping over his own feet and staggering. "Body… shutting down… must, scratch, mosquito bites…" With that, he tripped and fell, Dipper's body going limp on the floor.

The world went black and white, Bill flying out of Dipper's body, me being able to see ghost-Dipper floating in the air. Ghost-Dipper floated into his body, color returning to the world. It was a few seconds, but just as Willow walked up to me, Dipper started to stir. We reached down and helped him stand up, audible pops and cracking sound coming from his body.

"Everything hurts," Dipper groaned, holding his back painfully. Cackling laughter came from upstage. We looked over and saw a Dipper puppet inching its way across the stage.

"This isn't the last you'll hear of me!" Bill's voice told us, the puppet climbing onto a box. "Big things are coming! You can't stop me!"

I looked out at the audience and saw Gabe staring at me incredulously. I sighed and pulled the remote out of my pocket. The show was already dead anyway, so it couldn't make it worse. "I'm sorry Gabe," I said, pressing the button. The box the puppet was on was a box of explosives I had been planning on using for the big finish. They went off, exploding everywhere, into the audience, some even going backstage and blowing up some puppets. The Dipper puppet landed at our feet. Dipper stomped on it, putting out the flames and making half of it disintegrate. Then we turned to the audience, all of whom were staring at us, not moving an inch.

"Don't worry. I've seen enough movies to know this is the part where the audience thinks it was all part of the show and loves it. Cue applause!" From behind us, a piece of scaffolding landed on the floor. Yeah, no way _that_ could be passed off as intentional. The audience all started booing, leaving the theatre. In ten seconds, the only people who were left were us, Candy, Grenda, Grunkle Stan, and Gabe. "GABE!" I said nervously, knowing this wasn't gonna work out, but I had to try. "Stick around for the wrap party? We've got mini-quiches!"

"Don't speak to me Mabel," Gabe told me, standing up stiffly. "You've made a mockery of my art form. Let's go my loves." He walked away, kissing the book and bee puppets he had on his hands.

"Did he just make out with his puppets?" Willow questioned once he was out of earshot.

"I might've dodged a bullet there," I decided. Candy ran out from backstage, chasing Gabe and yelling in Korean. She wanted him, he was hers.

"Mabel, I'm sorry," Dipper told me, gesturing at the mess the explosives had made. "It's my fault your show got ruined."

"No, it's mine," I told him, much to his shock. "I spent all week obsessing over a dumb guy. But the dumb guy I should have cared about was you. If I had helped you guys today, none of this would have happened. And I promise, I'll make it up to you guys. Pines Inc.?" I offered, holding my fist out. Willow sighed and put her fist in.

"I'm still mad, but yeah. Pines Inc."

"Pines Inc," Dipper said, putting his fist in, the three of us attempting to do our handshake. The second Dipper's hand hit ours, loud cracking sounds came from it. He attempted to shake it out, but that only made it crack more. "What'd Bill do to my hand?"

"Nothing a little sleep can't fix!" I said happily, glad this whole thing was finally over. As soon as we got back, we we're all gonna crash. I could feel the Mabel Juice and adrenaline wearing off, but I was still in better shape than my sibs. "Come on guys. Let's go home."

"I think I need to go to the hospital," Dipper told us, the three of us walking off stage. On the way back, I found a note Bill had written.

 _Note to self: Possessing people is hilarious! To think of all the sensations I've been missing out on—burning, stabbing, drowning. It's like a buffet tray of fun! Once I destroy that journal, I'll enjoy giving this body its grand finale—by throwing it off the water tower! Best of all, people will just think Pine Tree lost his mind, and his mental form will wander in the mindscape forever. Hey Oak Leaf, Shooting Star! You girls want to join him?_

Talk about creepy! Anyway, that night, the two of them, practically asleep on their feet from exhaustion, asked me to write in the Journal for them. As soon as they were asleep, I took the Journal out onto the roof and wrote the entry for them, starting from when Bill had appeared to Willow last night and ending with the note I had found. Since I still felt bad about everything that happened, I added this in there at the end.

 _Guys, whenever you read this, I want you to know I'm sorry. And for the next week, IOU both ice cream sandwiches, on me. Love Mabel._

I know it's a pathetic excuse as an apology/I'll-make-it-up-to-you, but I would make it up to them fully sooner or later. Somehow…


	25. Soos & the Real Girl

**Hey guys! This chapter was interesting to write since it is all in Soos' POV, something I found interesting to do. And just a heads up, the words in** _ **italics**_ **are Spanish. I know a bit of Spanish, but I'm nowhere close to fluent, so I did Google most of the words. If you know Spanish and the proper word/phrase, please tell me, and I apologize for the words that may be inaccurate. And I want your guys' opinion on something. I'm debating when to release Society of the Blind Eye. Normally it would be on the 11th, but the 12th is the one year anniversary of this story, and the 15th is the one year anniversary of the show ending, so when do you think I should post it, 12th or 15th? Most votes win, so let me know! Now then, SHOUT-OUTS!**

 **Female Fantasy Freak- Thanks for your review! I'm glad you liked what I did with Willow, and I'll work on giving her her own dialogue. Society might be a little weird since she and McGucket are close, but I think you will like what I do with it in the end. And I've read some of your Learning to Love story, and it is AMAZING! I don't know what will happen as far as canon goes, but I love how you're having things play out. And a message to Bill from me: STOP TAKING OVER PEOPLE'S KEYBOARDS!**

 **Gamelover41592- Thanks for your review!**

 **Cutie Patootie- Thanks for your review! And yes, Alex will be part of the Zodiac. I'm sorry you don't really like him, but I'm glad you like everything else! Hearing from my readers always encourages me, even if it's constructive criticism.**

 **Teletubby2015- Thanks for all of your reviews/compliments! And while I agree that the show could have easily done another season, I am actually king of glad Alex Hirsch stopped it when he did. I mean, the entire show was about a SUMMER away from home, then the kids going back, so if he had done even another season, it would have turned into an endless summer like Phineas and Ferb, and while I love that show, they really should have ended it a lot sooner than they did. But the good news is, there is still a chance for a TV movie or a spin off, and there are fan projects and fanfiction, so the show will never die.**

 **Disclaimer: I only own Willow. Anything recognizable belongs to Alex Hirsch/Disney XD.**

* * *

 **Soos' POV (July 26th)**

After Mabel's show started to go to _infierno_ , I gave Wendy a ride home then went back to _mi casa_. Technically it was my Abuelita's house, but I had been living with her for as long as I could remember. It was a small house; living room, kitchen, bathroom and two bedrooms, all on one level, but I wouldn't want to live anywhere else, except maybe the Mystery Shack. I was playing one of my favorite video games, _First Person Puncher,_ Abuelita reading our mail, when a timer went off.

"Highlights are done!" I told her, starting to take the foil out of her hair. "You're gonna make the other ladies at the bingo hall so jealous!"

"Just a minute _mi hijo,"_ she told me, giving me a piece of mail. "Your _primo_ Reggie is having an engagement party next month." The mail was a picture of Reggie with him arms around a black-haired woman.

"Reggie's engaged? But he's like the poor man's Soos!" I loved Reggie, but he wasn't exactly the most attractive man out there. But from the picture, it looked like he and the girl, whose name was Isabelle, were happy together, and I was happy for them.

"I do not want to pressure you, but you are a man now… in a way," Abuelita told me. "It's time for you to start meeting girls. I would like to see you settled before I ascend to heaven and live with the angles."

"And with grandpa!" I said, but she shook her head.

"No. He is not there. But please find a girl to bring to Reggie's engagement party, for Abuelita." She stood up and kissed my cheek, then went back towards the bedrooms. I shrugged; this would be easy!

"I'm great at fixing stuff, playing video game, having a sort-of mustache," I said to myself, feeling the hair I had glued on my face. "I can totally get a date before the engagement. Totally. Piece of cake."

"YOU'RE DEAD!" The video game told me. I sighed; the game was right. I was dead.

 **GFF (July 27th)**

Abuelita's words were playing over and over in my head all the next day. I was just about finished hanging up some t-shirts when I noticed a woman with strawberry-blonde hair looking at the snow-globe displays. I'll admit, I panicked a bit. I hid in a shirt rack, getting myself together.

"You can do this Soos!" I told myself. "Just use your mouth to say words that makes romance happen." I stood up out of the rack and cleared my throat, getting the woman's attention. "Your face is good. I'm a Soos!" Instead of staying and talking to me, she screamed, dropped the snow-globe, and ran out of the gift shop like _El Diablo_ was chasing her. I sighed and went back to hiding in the shirt rack. That definitely could have gone better.

"Soos? You okay?" A girl's voice questioned, the shirts being pulled back. Wills and Dip were there, staring at me. Even though I was depressed, I was glad to see them looking kind of normal. I had gotten the short version from Mabel last night; Dip was still bruised and moving stiffly, but they looked more awake than they had in days which made me happy, but I was still depressed about the woman.

"I think I was flirting, but I'm not sure," I told them, crawling out from the shirt rack. A barrel of keychains moved, Mabel popping out of it.

"Did someone say flirting?" She asked, climbing out of the barrel.

"Yeah. My cousin's having an engagement party in a few days, and I kind of promised Abuelita that I'd get a date by the end of the week. But…" I was 21 and I REALLY didn't want to admit this part, even though the dudes would probably understand.

"But…?" Wills prompted.

"I've never actually been on a real date before!" I told them quickly. I mean, I had been on dates in middle school and high school, but those weren't anything bigger than dances or a movie. You couldn't count them as REAL dates. I grabbed the OUT OF ORDER sign off the vending machine and put it on my chest. "You belong on me, out-of-order sign."

"Finally, my prayers for a chance to match-make this summer have come true!" Mabel said excitedly, hugging me. If she was willing to help, I would take it. _Dios_ knew I needed all the help I could get.

"Soos, piece of advice," Mr. Pines said to me. "You need to get rich. Or lie about being rich. Outside of that, I don't like your chances."

"Don't listen to Stan dude," Wendy called over from the counter. "You're a sweet guy with a steady job and a pickup truck."

"Age aside, would you date him?" Mr. Pines asked her. Instead of answering, she buried her head in her magazine.

"Soos, the point is, you've helped us so much this summer it's time we help you," Dip told me, holding his fist out. "We're gonna get you that date. P-terodactyl bros?"

"P-terodactyl bros!" I said, fist-bumping him, thankful for all the help I could get. "So what the plan?" I asked Mabel, the most eager of the three of them.

"We're taking you where romance lives and where fashion styles die," she said dramatically before pointing out the door. "TO THE MALL!"

Why a town with only 1,000 some people in it needed a mall, I had no idea. Granted, the town was practically in the middle of nowhere, so the mall did have pretty much anything you could need. As soon as we got there, I started looking around for a woman I could take to the engagement.

"I'm gonna go find a replacement for old Goldie," Mr. Pines told the kids, patting the statue. "Babysit Soos while I'm gone."

"Alright Soos. Are you ready to explode the charm bomb on these poor, unsuspecting ladies?" Mabel asked me, gesturing at the women who were walking around.

"But what if I embarrass myself again?" I asked her, concerned.

"You can't be any worse at this than Dipper," she told me, not that it was any comfort. She pulled a whistle out and blew it, making a good number of people turn to look at us. "And… FLIRT!"

After an hour and at least ten women, I had a headache. Mabel was giving me advice and I was trying it out, but it never worked out as well as I was hoping. Then when she told me what I was doing wrong, the way she explained it just confused me even more. Then Wills was telling me different things that went against what Mabel said, and the two of them kept arguing with each other about who was right. Why couldn't this be easier?!

"Don't worry Soos!" Mabel told me, still trying to help even though nothing was working so far. She was getting something out of one of those toy machines. "You'll find the right girl. You just need to… Stick with it!" She pulled back her prize, a sticky hand, and made it stick on my face. I knew she was trying to cheer me up, but it wasn't working. I sighed.

"Could this day get any worse?" I said to myself. I looked around, trying to see if there was someone else I could try talking to, when I saw a familiar face. "Reggie!" I whispered, the dudes looking at him. He looked like me body-wise, but his hair was darker and longer. With him was his fiancée Isabelle. "He can't see me like this! I have to hide!" I stood up and ran into the video game shop we had been sitting in front of, going all the way to the back and sitting in the corner.

"This is it Soos. A lifetime of loneliness," I said to myself, pulling a few video games off the shelf beside me. "You're the only ones who could love me. 'Fighty Hog,' 'Dr. Punch Head MD,' 'Romance Academy 7.' Wait…" The last one was in a sale box beside me, the only thing that didn't look like it had been sitting there for ten years. I picked it up and started reading what was on the box. "'Virtually improve your dating skills. Nine out of ten basement dwellers recommend.' This is perfect!"

"You are better at games than flirting," Dip said, the dudes walking up to me.

"Anything to get you out there Soos," Mabel added, Wills taking the game from me and looking over it.

"I'm not sure you want to buy that game sir," the store clerk, a blonde girl with square-framed glasses, told us. I shrugged; the dudes and I could handle anything that happened. Then I noticed a brown-haired woman with a weapon in her hand, looking _muy peligrosa._ I walked up to her and tapped her arm.

"So, hey there. What's your deal? You like to-?" Out of nowhere, she fell over, hitting the floor face-first. "She's dead!" I yelled. That REALLY didn't work out well.

"Soos, it's a cutout!" Wills told me, coming over and lifting it up. She turned back to the clerk. "We'll take our chances."

That night, I put the game in my computer. A disc came on screen, the words YEAR 2000 ELECTRONICS in front of it. "Man, I can't wait for the year two-thousand," I said to myself, the welcome screen appearing. The options were Start, Quit, and Shizenhakka, whatever that last one meant. I hit start, cherry blossom trees appearing. Japanese symbols came on the screen, English under it. "'When the cherry petals of magic romance academy are in bloom… anthyding can hadplen.' That is so true."

"Hi there!" A cute pixel girl with pink hair and a computer cable bow on her head appeared in a classroom, books hugged against her chest. "My name is .GIFfany. I'm a schoolgirl at School University. Will you help me carry my books?" Beside her, the choices appeared.

"I'm really feeling number two here," I said, clicking the option that said 'I'm impatient! Date me now!' It went red and made a buzzing sound. "I messed up!"

"That's okay. Try again!" .GIFfany told me. I clicked option one, which was 'Yes of course!' It made more sense than option three: 'Hey look! A squid!' Gold coins started raining down the screen, happy music playing. This game was already working!

"What would you like to talk about?" .GIFfany asked me, the options of 'Your interests,' 'Samurais,' and 'Squids' appearing, but none of them seemed right.

"I'd rather just click your face," I said, doing so. She laughed robotically, but it was cute.

"You're so funny!" She told me. I smiled.

"This game is amazing! I don't know why anyone abandoned it."

"And I'm sure you'll never abandon me, new boyfriend." Did she just say what I think she said?

" _Novio?_ .GIFfany, it's almost like you're actually alive."

"Yes. Almost," she said, laughing again, me joining her.

"You have such a nice laugh!" I told her. This was going great! I had only known her for five minutes, and we were already dating. I can't believe I ever thought dating was hard.

 **GFF (July 28th)**

.GIFfany and I literally talked all night. Since she was programmed, she didn't have a lot of backstory, so I did most of the talking, but I could tell she was listening the entire time. I told her EVERYTHING, even some stuff I've never told anyone before, not even the dudes. The past two hours had been me telling her everything that the dudes and I had gone through in the six weeks since they had come up here. It was odd; I had always known there was something weird about this place, but in the space of six weeks, my life had been turned around. Those dudes had never known anything of this scale, and now they were at the center of the weird, and they were handling it like pros. At least .GIFfany was normal.

"…So that's basically my life story," I told her, rubbing my eyes and glancing at the clock. 11:08. Wow. Oh well. "Now you tell me everything about you!"

"Every time you compliment me I get another highlight in my eyes!" .GIFfany told me excitedly. I shrugged; Whatever the lady wants.

"You're pretty!" I told her, the sparkles in her eyes getting bigger. "And pixel-y!" I added, the sparkles growing even more. "And so agreeable!" Stars, planets and cat faces appeared in her eyes. "Yes!"

"Soos?" Someone said from behind me. I turned around and saw the dudes standing in my doorway.

"Hey dudes! Come in!" I told them, moving to the side so they could see .GIFfany on the screen. "This game is amazing. I'm learning how to talk to girls, going on dates, and I haven't seen any natural sunlight for 13 hours!"

"Soos, maybe it's time to apply these skills with real girls," Mabel told me, moving over to the blinds I had covering my window. But I couldn't go now! And things were going so well!

"I'm about to meet her parents!" I told them, then whispered, "Her dad is an octopus-man!" Mabel grabbed the blinds and pulled them open, blinding me. I hissed like a cat and ducked under the desk, covering my eyes while they adjusted. Dip and Wills grabbed my arms and pulled me out from under the table.

"We're going back to the mall! You need to unplug!" Dip told, me starting to drag me out of my room.

"I'll see you later, .GIFfany! I'll be back, I swear!" I told her just before Mabel pulled the door closed behind us.

"Soos, it's just a game. You don't have to wish it goodbye," Wills told me, pulling me to my feet. "It's not like it's going anywhere." As we left, I thought I heard electric sounds, but I wasn't sure. The mall wasn't going as well today as it had been yesterday. Friday's were usually the day most of the sales were, so the number of people here was a lot smaller. Not that I was complaining all that much. I wanted to get back to .GIFfany and talk to her more, and the women I did see walking around were making me nervous.

"Dang! Where all dem sweet honey's at?" Mabel yelled, pocketing the binoculars she had been using and pulling out a megaphone. "I'm gonna go check the ladies' bathroom." She took off, running into the bathroom, yelling into the megaphone. "It's love time girls! Get out there! No time to wash your hands! It's time to date! Date! Date!" The women all came running out, a good number of them grabbing different security guards.

"And, here comes security," Dip said, sighing. "We'll deal with this. Stay here and practice on some real girls." They left, going over to where security had grabbed Mabel. I looked over the railing of the escalator, seeing too many women.

"These women have so many dimensions! And no explanation-ing menus!" I said to myself, backing into someone. I turned around and saw a blonde woman with a ponytail, bending down to pick up her purse. "Undo! Undo!" I yelled, trying to use the undo combination with the mouse it the air.

"You can't undo who you are," the woman told me, standing up and walking away. I panicked and ran to a TV shop, leaning against the glass, mentally face-palming and calling myself _estúpido idiota._

"This is the worst," I told myself. "I wish I was back home with-"

"Hi Soos!" .GIFfany said from behind me. I turned around and saw her on one of the TV screen behind me. Just having her here was already helping me calm down.

".GIFfany! Am I glad to see you!" I told her, then I realized that she was on a TV screen in the mall, not on my computer at my house. "Although, sorta confused."

"Oh Soos!" She told me, appearing on a different TV screen. "I am not an ordinary game. I am… special." A bunch of people working at computers came on screen, all blue except one that was pink. She zoomed in on the pink person, binary appearing on his screen. "The programmers tried to delete me, so I had to delete them." The computer the pink person was working on surged with electricity, shocking the person before .GIFfany's face came back on the TV.

"What did you do to them?" I asked her, not wanting to date an _asesino._

"That's not important," she told me, taking over every TV screen. "What's important is that you won't have to talk to real girls ever again. We can be together FOREVER!" On the last word, the TV screens all made up one giant image of her. Although that part about being together forever was a bit odd, if it meant I didn't have to talk to real women, I would take it.

"That's awesome! Bit of a red flag, but mostly awesome! So, what do you want to do now?"

"Anything you want, Soos!" Want I wanted was to go to the Kidz Zone and ride the little train they had there, so that was what we did. I was on the real train and .GIFfany was conductor of the train on the screen. It was fun, even though it did hurt my _pompis._

"Please insert fifty cents to continue." The train said, .GIFfany disappearing. I reached into my pocket but didn't feel any coins.

"Aw man," I sighed, about to get off when I heard someone laugh. I looked around and saw someone watching me from behind the Meat Cute store.

"Oh, sorry," she said, coming out and walking up to me. She had tan skin and copper-blonde hair. "I think it's awesome that you're a grown man riding a little train like that. You're totally owning it."

"Yeah," I said, not thinking anything of it. "I'm like, if you think it's fun, you do it. You know?"

"Exactly! Being an adult is the worst. Skewering meat, paying bills. I just want to ride tiny trains all day."

"At least you get to work at Meat Cute," I encouraged her. "Extreme lunch meats are the food of the future."

"I feel the same way," she said breathlessly, holding her hand out. "I'm Melody by the way."

"I'm Soos," I said, shaking her hand. I noticed that under the smell of lunch meat, she smelled like honey. "If you like robot for kids, you should check out the best restaurant of all time!"

"You mean…" she questioned, knowing what I was talking about. "Hoo-Ha Owl's Pizzamatronic Jamboree!" We said at the same time. She smiled and started playing with her hair. "You've heard of Hoo-Ha Owl's? I loved that place when I was a kid!"

"There's one right in this mall! I could show you sometime," I offered.

"I'm free around eight," she told me. That would work.

"Boom! Done!"

"Perfect! I'll see you then," she said, taking something out of her pocket and handing it to me. I looked down and saw that it was two quarters. I looked back up and we waved bye to each other, Melody walking out of the mall. The sun was shining in through the big windows out front, so when she left, her hair went the color of gold.

"What a nice lady," I said to myself, readjusting on the train. "Well, back to riding this tiny train for children." I reached out to put the coins Melody had given me into the slot, but someone screamed and tackled me off the train, brown hair covering my eyes.

"SSSOOOOOOSSS!" The person yelled, moving around and hitting me in excitement. The hair moved out of my face and I was able to see that Dip and Wills were bending down next to me, which meant Mabel was the one who was attacking me.

"We saw the whole thing Soos! That was amazing!" Dip told me excitedly as Wills pulled Mabel off me. "You talked to a real girl, and you got a date!"

"I did?" I asked. Getting a date never crossed my mind, but now that they said it, the pieces clicked. Melody playing with her hair, me smelling honey, her hair looking gold when she left. I thought I was just showing her around, but now I realized that we were going on a date, and even though I was nervous, I didn't not want it to happen. I had a date.

"That game really worked!" Wills was saying, Mabel finally calming down and bending down next to them.

"You don't need it anymore! You can toss it out!"

"Toss it?" I repeated. Yes, it was working, but I could already feel myself getting nervous, and when I get nervous, I sometimes slip into Spanish, which was the last thing I needed during the date. I needed that game to help me calm down, and I needed .GIFfany to do that. I also liked .GIFfany because I knew her and how she would react to certain things. "But I like .GIFfany. She's good to me. She's predictable."

"Soos, can a computer game go to Reggie's engagement party with you?" Wills questioned. She had a point with that. That was the point of this whole thing; to get a date to the party, and if I didn't have one, then this whole thing was pointless. I sighed, knowing what I had to do but not wanting to do it.

"Hey .GIFfany, we gotta talk," I told her that afternoon. I was about to get ready for my date and felt it better to explain before hand.

"Of course," she said happily. I forgot that she had gotten shut down before Melody and I had started talking. "I am programmed to find everything you say interesting." Yeah, that was probably going to change after this conversation.

"Well," I started. "Have you ever had to choose between two things you like, but you don't know which one is right for you?" She just looked confused. That was better than angry. "I'm just thinking long term here. Maybe I should be with someone a little less… beep, boop. You know?"

"I don't think you know what you're saying Soos," she told me angrily. "No one loves you more than me. The girls out there will just make fun of you!"

"You really think so?" I asked.

"I know so!" She yelled. "Besides, we had a deal. You bought my game, you held my books, you're my boyfriend! Now sit down in that chair!"

"I don't think I like the way you're acting…" I told her, starting to understand why her game had been returned repeatedly.

"I WON'T LET ANOTHER GIRL TAKE YOU AWAY FROM ME SOOS!" She yelled, banging on the inside of the glass screen.

" _¡_ _Cálmate_ .GIFfany!" I yelled, slipping into Spanish. It didn't work; instead she started yelling louder.

"YOU'RE MINE SOOS!" I panicked, looking around for something that would make her stop yelling. I did the only thing that made sense: I grabbed the game controller and hit pause, freezing her mid-scream. The sudden silence was off-putting.

"That got intense," I said to myself, wiping a bit of sweat off my head. I popped open the disc tray and took the game out of it, slipping the game into my pocket and turning my computer off, just in case. "I'm sorry .GIFfany. Maybe having a cursed robo-girlfriend wasn't a good idea. I'm taking you back to the video game store after my date with Melody." I started to get changed, pulling on a sweater-vest and bow tie, glad this was almost over. I couldn't wait to get back to what passes for normal in this town.

 **GFF**

"You can do this Soos!" Mabel told me. We were in the mall food court, Dip giving me a massage, Wills giving me A LOT of water. Mabel had put on a referee sweater and a hat that looked like Dip's, but it was pink with a heart on the front. "Just remember what your love crew taught you. How does she look?"

"Nice!" I responded.

"What are her stories?"

"Interesting!

"And who's going to pay for dinner?"

"SOOS IS!"

"NOW DATE!" She yelled, blowing an air horn. I took off, running to Hoo-Ha Owl's. I slowed down when I saw her, not wanting to arrive out-of-breath. She actually did look great. She was wearing white shorts that showed off her legs, along with purple sandals and a purple top with white polka-dots. I caught my breath then walked up to her.

"Melody! You look great!" I said, getting her attention. She blushed a bit, smiling slightly. "So, are you ready for…" I almost froze, then remembered that I had written what I was going to say on my hand. I glanced down, reading the words. "A date…" I looked at my other hand. "With me?"

"I totally am!" She said, laughing. I held out my arm for her, allowing her to take it. So far so good, I thought as we walked into the restaurant. It was a nice place for a first date: tables in` the middle of the room, games lining the walls. The best part was that there were kids around, so you didn't have to worry about keeping your voice down or dressing up super nice, which really helped me calm down. I lead her to a table in the middle of the room, me sitting down while she went to the restroom. While she was gone, the dudes walked in, taking a seat on the other side of the room.

"If you need help with anything, we'll be right over there," Mabel said, taking a seat as Melody started walking back.

"Man, I could go for some complementary breadsticks right now," she said, taking a seat.

"One time I was so hungry that I ate the decorational bamboo at a Chinese restaurant," I told her, singing and patting my belly. "Like a big old panda!" Thank _Dios,_ she laughed.

"You're hilarious," she told me. I sighed mentally: Maybe this was going to go better than I thought.

"Yeah well, I just sorta say whatever pops into my-" I had been bringing a water to my mouth when I noticed what was on the screen behind Melody. .GIFfany was there, looking hurt, hand over her heart, the words YOU PAUSED ME? in a box at the bottom of the screen. I choked on the water, splattering the table. Melody reached over and patted my back.

"Soos, are you okay?" She asked me, even though I didn't really hear her. I nodded, draining the water in one gulp, the temperature in the room feeling twenty degrees hotter. "Are you sure? You're sweating an awful lot." I glanced up and saw the words YOU LEFT ME FOR HER? on a screen above Melody's head, images of her with X's over her eyes appearing.

" _Necesito ir al baño! Quédate aquí!_ " I told her, slipping in Spanish again. I got up and went over to where the dudes were sitting watching us from behind a pizza box.

"Soos, what are you doing out there?" Mabel questioned, offering me a water. I took it and drank half, calming myself down enough to speak English again.

"I've got a big problem dudes. I'm being stalked by .GIFfany!"

"Soos, get a grip on yourself," Wills told me. ".GIFfany can't stalk you because she's not real."

"I'm not so sure about that," Dip stated, pointing above us. .GIFfany's face was on the screen, bathing us in red light. "Take it from someone who brought a video game to life, this will not end well."

"Don't worry. I'm pretty sure she's stuck on TV screens," I told them, about to go grab Melody and get out of here when electric sounds came from beside us. Along the row of arcade games, .GIFfany appeared in the background, stopping only briefly to disintegrate Rumble McSkirmish before continuing towards the stage.

"Oh boy," I said to myself, running back over to where Melody was sitting. "So hey, you wanna move this date far away into the forest away from all electronics and people?"

"But the floor show's about to start," she said, gesturing to the stage where the curtains had just opened, showing the robots that made this place so popular. They started their routine, but shut down before they could get anywhere. The spotlight moved to focus on the cheerleader, the only one still active.

"Hello friends," .GIFfany's voice said. I glanced around, glad to see that the dudes had started evacuating people without causing a scene. I didn't want any kids getting hurt because of me. "Hoo-Ha the Owl is dead. This next song goes out to my forever boyfriend, Soos."

"Soos, what's going on?" Melody questioned, looking at me. I grabbed her wrist and stood up.

"No time to explain; We gotta get outta here!" Then I yelled loud enough for everyone to hear. "EVERYONE, GET OUT, NOW!"

"The only way out, Soos, is in my arms!" .GIFfany yelled, the eyes of the cheerleader going red, the other robots coming to life and jumping off the stage. Everyone else in the restaurant panicked and took off, clearing out in ten seconds. The five of us were almost to the door when they closed on us, the garage doors slamming down, trapping us in.

"I'm sorry Soos, but you can't run away from our relationship!" .GIFfany yelled, turning the skee-ball games into canons, aiming them at us. I grabbed the top of one of the arcade games along the left wall, pulling it down to the floor, doing the same thing with one on the right, giving us cover.

"So, about all this," I told Melody now that we had time. "I may have purchased a dating simulator that became self-aware and went crazy."

"Oh, I am crazy," .GIFfany said. Melody and I peeked over the top of the game, watching the cheerleader move forward in front of us, .GIFfany keeping pace along the screens of the games. "Crazy for you, Soos!" The cheerleader held out her hand, blue lightning arcing towards us. Most of it hit the doors behind us, but one spark lit Melody's hair on fire. I reached up and patted it out quickly, guilt crashing down on me. Melody and the dudes were all in danger and it was my fault.

"I'm sorry Melody," I told her, coming to a quick decision. "I'll fix this. It's me she wants. I'll distract her while the dudes keep you safe! It's the only way!"

"Soos, these are children," Melody told me as I climbed on top of the games. She had a lot to learn.

"The only WWWAAAYYY!" I yelled, jumping off the games and running towards .GIFfany. The skee-ball machines were still firing, and the balls hurt A LOT when they hit me, but adrenaline had kicked in, so I kept going. "Over here .GIFfany!" I yelled, running past her and grabbing a metal serving plate off one of the tables to use as a shield. Melody and the dudes started running around the restaurant, the other robots chasing them. I ran towards the kitchen, using the serving plate to slide under the doors. I stood up and turned around just as .GIFfany came in.

"I've got you surrounded Soos," she said, making me back up a few feet. Through the window I could see that the robots had captured Melody and the dudes and were holding the above the ball pit.

"Please, let my friends go," I begged her. "I'll do anything, I promise!"

"I seem to remember someone promising to be my boyfriend!" The cheerleader held out her hand and shot lightning at the TV beside me, .GIFfany appearing on the screen. "Think about it. Real girls are unpredictable. They judge you. Do you really think that Melody will take you back after this awful date?" She did have a point, but I knew that things with Melody and I were over. This date was a _desastre,_ and it was all my fault. There was no reason for Melody to take me back, and I honestly wasn't expecting her to.

"I can download your brain into the game with me," she offered, the cheerleader's finger turning into a stick with a flash drive on the end of it. "We can be together, FOREVER!" She held her hand out to me, extending the flash drive. Just because things with Melody and I were over, there was no way I would let her take me into the game. She really is crazy if she thinks I would let her do that.

"Stay back!" I yelled, throwing anything I had in my pockets at her. My wallet and the candy bar didn't do anything, and the screwdriver missed, sticking in the wall behind her.

"Come on, Soos! Don't make me delete you too!" I reached into my back pocket and felt it. "What do you say?"

"I say, GAME OVER .GIFfany!" I yelled, opening the oven that was behind me and throwing her game disc into it, slamming the door shut. It bubbled and sparked, crumpling in on itself. The TV screen froze and turned off, .GIFfany disappearing. The cheerleader sparked, the fur melting off, leaving the metal body before it crumpled to the floor. "Game over," I repeated, grabbing my stuff and running out of the kitchen.

The restaurant was a mess, something I did feel bad about. A few tables had been broken and most of the games were trashed. But at least no one was hurt. We were cut up and scraped, but there was nothing serious. The dudes offered to start cleaning up and finding the owner while Melody and I talked on the stage.

"I'm sorry about all this," I apologized for at least the hundredth time, putting a Band-Aid on Melody's arm. "Although, I honestly remember this place being a lot more fun when I was a kid."

"I do to," Melody responded, patting down her hair. "But believe it or not, I've been on worse dates."

"Really?" I questioned. How could things be worse than this?

"Never date a magician,' she told me seriously. THAT explained it.

"Why would I?" She laughed and punched my arm in the way you do when you're totally comfortable around someone. Maybe this date hadn't been as much of a disaster as I had thought. Then I remembered why this whole thing had even started to begin with. "Hey, you aren't maybe interested in going to my cousin's engagement party in a week? I promise there's like zero robot badgers." She laughed and nodded.

"Yeah. I'll still be in town then." Did she just say…

"'Still be in town'?" I repeated.

"I never told you?" She asked, face-palming. "Sorry, but I was just visiting for a month. I'm going back home to Portland in a few weeks. But after that, we can video chat if you want."

"A relationship with a girl that I can only see through my computer…" I said to myself, smiling. "Sounds perfect!" And it actually did. Yes, it would have been better if she could stay in town, but of all the places she could have been visiting from, Portland was probably the best. And after dealing with .GIFfany and her robots, I think a five hour drive was worth it if it meant we could be together.


	26. Society of the Blind Eye

**One year you guys. One. Year. I honestly can't believe it's been a year since the show ended and this story was started. And I am glad to be releasing this chapter on the anniversary. This was one of my favorite episodes EVER, and writing it was interesting to say the least. I'm not gonna waste much more time, so let's get to the shout-outs.**

 **Female Fantasy Freak- You have no idea how hard I was laughing at your review! That was HILARIOUS! It definitely made my day, so thank you. Sorry I made Bill mad, but taking it out on your Percy Jackson book is a step too far! I'll say this, Willow's reaction when Ford shows up will be interesting, and I can't wait to get there. And if you want me to take Bill off your hands for a while, I will, but I make no promises I'll be able to return him how he was, or return him at all. ;) Thanks for your review! And HAPPY BIRTHDAY!**

 **Gamelover41592- I'm glad you liked what I did with the chapter. Soos' POV was interesting to write, and it made a lot more sense than having it in one of the kids' POV's, because then there would have been a lot that was missing. Thanks for your review!**

 **AzelmaandEponine- Thanks for your review! I've gotten that suggestion before, but thanks anyway! It's appreciated! Counting this chapter, four more until Ford comes, and five until we get to see her reaction! It should be interesting, and I can't wait for you to read what I have planned.**

 **Cutie Patootie- I have an anniversary chapter planned for them between Dungeons, Dungeons and more Dungeons and the Stanchurian Candidate, so that should give you some of what you're looking for. Thanks for your review and cooperation!**

 **Disclaimer: I only own Willow and anything you don't recognize. The Society and everything else belongs to Alex Hirsch.**

* * *

 **Willow's POV (July 30th)**

"Alright Author, who are you?" Dipper said, chewing on the end of his pen. Man, it felt good to be wide awake. After the show, we had gone to sleep for a good twelve hours straight. The past three days we hadn't done much. Yes, there was that thing with Soos and .GIFfany, but Soos dealt with most of that on his own, giving us time to get things figured out. And now that we were rested, we were ready to get back to trying to figure out who the hell the Author was.

In the middle of the web we had made was a silhouette of a face. Along the border were pictures of people in town who could be the Author, considering he was still in town. There were a few women, but we both thought the Author was male; the women were just there because they were suspicious. Around the center picture was anything we thought could be a clue to his identity. There were already a few connections, but nothing solid enough to give us anything. And in case you were wondering about the laptop, I've already tried. I can't fix it. The parts that are needed haven't been made in almost thirty years. What was left of it was sitting in a box as together as we could get it.

"BLAH! Not again!" Dipper yelled, throwing his pen into the trash can and attempting to wipe the ink off his face. If you've ever exploded a pen before, you know how well that works.

"You have got to stop doing that," I told him, handing him a baby wipe from the container. He wiped his face off, then we went back to staring at the board. After a few minutes where we did nothing but stare, Mabel ran in, flopping down in the bed, a green bottle in her hand.

"Look what I got!" She yelled, waving the bottle in our faces, answering before we could. "It's a bottle message from Mermando! Remember? He was part fish, part shirtless guy." She gasped and her eyes got really big. "What if he wants to get back together?"

"I wouldn't get your hopes up Mabel," I told her. This was the first time in almost a month that she had gotten a message from him, and I had a feeling that it wouldn't be good news. But Mabel, ever the optimist, uncorked the bottle, squealing like a dolphin.

"Too late! Hopes are way, WAY up!" She yelled, unrolling the letter and reading it out loud. "'Dear Mabel, it is with a heavy heart that I must inform you… I'M GETTING MARRIED!?'"

"And, there it is," Dipper whispered to me, Mabel rushing through the letter now.

"'In order to prevent an undersea civil war… arranged wedding… Queen of the Manatees?' And she's so beautiful!" She held a picture out to us, showing an awkward-looking Mermando behind a manatee in a dress (this is my life now). "This can't be happening!"

"Mabel, you'll get over him eventually," I told her, knowing she would. She had the strongest heart out of all of us, bouncing back repeatedly.

"You don't understand," she said, pulling one of her scrapbooks out from under the bed. She opened to a page with pictures of Norman, Gideon, Sev'ral Timez, and Gabe. "On our first day here I made this page for summer romances, and look at my luck. Turned out to be gnomes, child psycho, made out with his own hands. And now…" She taped Mermando's picture over all of them, taking out a red marker and writing FAILED at the top of the page. "I wish I could forget about them forever."

"If it's any help, we're not having much luck trying to figure out who the Author is," I told her, pointing to the box the laptop pieces were in. "With the laptop gone, we've lost any lead we had in finding him."

"Bill did say we would eventually see that he followed through," Dipper reminded me, not that I wanted to think about Bill right now.

"Guys…" Mabel said slowly, looking at us in shock. She passed the bottle to Dipper, pointing at a piece of the laptop. Dipper took it and put it up to his eye, looking at what Mabel was pointing to. When he saw it, whatever it was, he looked at me, then at our web, then at Mabel.

"We saw the same thing, right?" He asked her.

"What is it?" I asked looking at the piece Mabel had been pointing to. It looked like there was something written on it, but I couldn't make out the words.

"You don't think…?" Mabel said, both of them looking at me like I had grown a second head.

"What's going on?" I asked slowly. Instead of responding, Dipper passed me the bottle. I held it up to my eye, looking down through it, the words that were written on the piece coming into focus. I froze, the bottle slipping out of my hand and shattering (yes, _shattering_ ) on the floor. Even though I could no longer see the words themselves, the image was imprinted in my mind. The second word, LABS, and above it, a name. McGUCKET.

"Wills…" I heard Mabel say my name and felt her touch my shoulder, but it seemed like we were underwater. I looked over to Dipper, who was rearranging the web at light speed. McGucket's picture was now at the center, yellow lines intersecting everything, but two things were obvious. 1) No piece of evidence on the board was left untouched, and 2) somehow, EVERYTHING lead back to McGucket's picture in the center of the board.

"Old Man McGucket wrote the Journals." Dipper said that as if in a daze, the words having an air of finality to them.

"We're going to the junkyard," I said firmly, closing the box that had the laptop in it and putting it into a backpack, along with the Journal. We all started running around, packing backpacks with flashlights, water bottles, walkie-talkies, snack bars, our Swiss Army knife (I put that one in my pocket), necessities. We were running on auto-pilot now. We knew what do to without thinking about it, which was good because my brain kept repeating Dipper's words over and over and over.

We ran downstairs and to the gift shop where Soos and Wendy were, knowing they would want to be a part of this. "Guys, we need to go see Old Man McGucket! We'll explain on the way!" Mabel yelled, grabbing their arms and dragging them outside, Grunkle Stan yelling after us. The five of us piled into Soos' truck and Soos started driving into town, going slow so we could explain what was going on before we got there. I let Mabel and Dipper do most of the explaining. I was still in shock.

 _McGucket_ wrote the Journals. _McGucket_ was the Author. In the few weeks I've actually known him, I had NEVER assumed that he could be the person we were looking for, but the pieces fit. I SAW the pieces fit on our board. His sixth finger had been taken off, hence the cast he was always wearing. In the PROPERTY OF F label on the laptop, the F stood for Fiddleford.

I wasn't sure how to feel about this. I mean, knowing who the Author was, that was AMAZING, but the reason we had wanted to know who he was had been so we could get ANSWERS. I had tried to help him remember something from his past, but it hadn't worked. Everything before the 80's was gone, so getting answers would be hard.

Then I remembered what Dipper had said to me just before we found the label. _"Bill… followed through."_ I didn't know what that meant for us, but Bill had told the truth, at least about that.

"Wills, you okay?" Dipper asked me, snapping his fingering in front of my face. I looked around and saw that everyone was looking at me. I just shook my head slightly.

"I don't know," I told them honestly. "Just thinking about… everything. Look," I said, looking all of them in the eye. "When we get there, let me handle things. We know each other. Just trust me, and whatever you do, don't say anything about the way he acts. Got it?"

"Got it," the four of them responded, Dipper squeezing my hand in a way that said more than what words could say. Soos pulled into the parking lot by the junkyard and we climbed out. Like most junkyards, there were large piles of trash everywhere. But unlike most junkyards, in the middle was structure made from sheets of scrap metal that served as McGucket's house. Once I had asked him why he lived in the junkyard instead of a real house, he had said that the junkyard had everything he needed.

"Where is he?" Mabel asked me.

"Don't worry, he's around here somewhere," I told her, then brought my hands up around my mouth. "McGucket! It's me! I brought some friends! We need to talk to you!"

"That's good," I heard someone say. We came around one of the trash piles and saw Lee and Nate spray-painting the side of McGucket's house. The word they had put on there was McSuckIt.

"Took an hour to think of this, but it was worth it," Lee said, the two of them high-fiving. McGucket came out of his house, stick in hand, and started chasing them off.

"McGucket!" I called, the five of us stepping into sight. He turned to us, smiling at me.

"Hey Dolly. Y'all come on in." He turned around and walked back into his house. After looking at me, I nodded and we followed him in.

"'Dolly?'" Dipper asked me as we went through the curtain that served as a door.

"He's from Tennessee. I don't hate it," I told him, looking around the familiar space. Sheets of metal and small pieces were scattered around. McGucket had given me permission to take anything I wanted whenever I visited, so on our way to the back, I did grab a few odds and ends and put them in my pockets.

"Y'all are just in time for my hourly turf war with the hillbilly what lives in my mirror!" He turned around and yelled at himself in a metal bathtub. "Quit starin' at me when I bathe!"

"Every time I visit," I muttered to the others, pulling the Journal out of the backpack. "McGucket, look at this." I held the journal out to him, flipping it open, going slow and letting him look at all of the pages. "We found this in the woods. I know you don't remember much, but we believe that you studied the mysteries of this town and wrote this book."

"Sorry Dolly," he told me, but at least he was looking at the pages. Something in there might jog his memory. "I've never done nothin' worthwhile in my life. Everyone knows I'm no good to nobody. I can't remember what I used to be, but I must've been a big failure to end up like this." As he said that, he looked at the news clippings he had on the back wall. They all showed him acting like a crazy old man. This was why I had wanted to handle this; I knew him and what the best way to handle this was. You had to tell him what you believed to be true in a way that left it open to be false.

"We also found a laptop that has your name on it," I told him, tucking the Journal under my arm and pulling the box with the laptop pieces out of the backpack. When he saw it, I knew there was something in his eyes. His pupils dilated just slightly and there was a small flicker of recognition in his eyes. Good, we were getting somewhere. I opened the Journal again, holding it close to him. "Look at this closely. Are you sure you didn't write it?"

"I told ya I don't recall. Everything before 1982 is just a blur. Just a hazy…" I flipped to one of the more mysterious pages. On one side was a man in a robe, his face hidden in shadow. On the other side was an eye with a large red X over it. It was one of those pages that needed some of the pages that were missing to make sense, but it meant something to him. He shrieked and crashed on the floor, curling up and covering his eyes. "The Blind Eye! Robes, the men, my mind! They DID somethin'!"

"Who did?" I asked softly, bending down next to him. He just shook his head. I nodded and glanced back at the others. "Nothing," I told them, knowing that pushing him to remember something wasn't going to help anything.

"You poor old man!" Mabel told him sympathetically. "No wonder your mind's all…" She blew a raspberry. "You've been through something intense."

"What if McGucket learned something he wasn't supposed to know, and someone, or something, messed with his mind?" Dipper theorized, looking at me. "We've got to get to the bottom of this."

"McGucket, I want you to think," I told him gently. "What is the earliest thing you can remember?"

"This is," he told me, pointing at one of the news clippings. The headline was DISORIENTED MAN FOUND AT MUSEUM.

"The History Museum?" I asked, confused as to what that has to do with anything, but whatever.

"Then that's where we're going!" Dipper decided. I nodded and looked at McGucket.

"We're gonna help you get your memories back," I told him, taking his arm and leading him to Soos' truck. There wasn't enough room for the four of us in the back, so McGucket and I climbed into the bed so we could talk. I told him the short version of everything, from finding the Journal to the laptop being destroyed and the discovery of the label with his name on it. A lot of it was just met with blank stares and confusion, but there were some things, like the Bunker, where there were flickers of remembrance in his eyes. He said he couldn't remember, but I knew what I saw. The memories we were looking for were in there somewhere. We just had to get them out, and the Museum was where we could do it.

"We're here!" Soos told us, pulling into the lot. We were lucky that it was closed (renovations), because having people walking around would have made things harder for us. Although it did mean that the doors were locked, not that it was a problem. We just found an unlocked window in the back and climbed through.

"Hello?" Soos called as we climbed in. "Anyone-" I reached up and covered his mouth.

"We don't _want_ anyone to be here, remember?" I reminded him, taking my hand off his mouth. Then louder to everyone, but still quiet, I said, "Remember to keep it down everyone. And Mabel… never mind." I had been about to tell her not to pet the mountain lion that was on display, but she was talking to Wendy and looking at a poster of Gabe, not even looking at the cat.

"And keep your eyes open for anything suspicious," Dipper added to everyone, walking up to me and McGucket. "So your last memory was here. Anything coming back?" Before he could answer, Soos pointed down a side hallway.

"Guys, look!" He yelled. We all looked in the direction he was pointing just in time to see the shadow of a person run out of sight.

"HEY! Who's there?!" Dipper yelled, the six of us running down the hallway, Dipper in the lead. We rounded the corner and entered a room with a fireplace on one side, shadows dancing around the room. The walls and tables were covered with depictions of eyes. But the person we had seen was nowhere to be found.

"Well kettle my corn. He vanish-ified!" McGucket said, spinning around. The only thing in his eyes was confusion, just like the rest of us.

"It doesn't make sense," Dipper muttered, looking around. "Where did he go?"

"He couldn't have just disappeared," I agreed. Something about those eyes was off. And not the way I'm-in-a-room-of-eyes-and-it-feels-like-I'm-being-watched off. It was the off where you know something is important but you just couldn't put your finger on it.

"I feel like all these eyeballs are a watchin' me," McGucket whispered, backing against the wall, saying how we were all feeling.

"Wait a minute…" Dipper brought his fingers up to his eyes, looking between McGucket and the displays. "They are! Move over!" McGucket took a step to the side, revealing an eye engraved in a piece of stone. Dipper walked up and pushed it into the wall. The shadows danced even more. We looked at the fireplace and watched as it moved into the wall on the left, revealing… "A secret passageway!"

"We'll have to be stealthy. I'll hambone a message if there's trouble!" McGucket then started slapping his arms and legs. He had been teaching me (don't ask me why) so I knew what it meant.

"I have no idea what that means," Dipper told him, glancing at me.

"Coyotes are coming for our sweetbreads," I told him, looking at McGucket for an explanation. "Although I don't know what that has to do with anything."

"Just making sure ya know what you're doin', Dolly," he told me, crawling through the tunnel, the rest of us following behind him. It only took a foot or two before we could stand up fully. Dipper took the lead, the six of us going down a flight of stairs that lead to a thick curtain. We crept up to it, not talking, and Dipper and I pulled the curtain aside, revealing what was behind it.

There were three steps leading down to a spot on the floor about ten feet across. In the middle of the floor, there was a pedestal with a small treasure chest on it. Off to one side was an old chair with the cushioning coming apart. Around the pedestal were people in red robes, their faces hidden in shadow, chanting something Latin over and over.

"What are they saying?" I whispered to Dipper, who had been learning Latin to try and figure out some of the spells in the Journal.

"New order of the ages," he translated to me, whatever _that_ meant. They reached their hands in and touched the chest, then from the shadows another robe guy appeared.

"Who is the subject of our meeting?" He asked, a thick British accent in his voice. From the opposite side of the room, two other robe guys appeared, a woman in a pink dress and apron being led between them, a bag over her head.

"This woman," the two of them said, leading her to the chair and pulling the bag off her head.

"Lazy Susan?" Mabel asked, all of us recognizing the woman.

"What is it you have seen?" The British guy asked her.

"Speak!" the other eight said, their voices echoing around the room.

"Uh, well, uh, I was leaving the diner, and I saw these little bearded doodads, and I was like, 'Bwaaa?'" She told them. I glanced at Dipper.

"The gnomes?" I mouthed to him. He nodded, then turned back to the robed figures.

"There, there," the British guy, who I assumed was the leader, said, reaching to the chest and opening it. He pulled out an odd contraption. The main part was gold with a chamber on the top and a dial on one side. On the opposite end was a blue-ish lightbulb, a piece of red glass separating the two parts. I glanced at McGucket and under the shock and confusion in his eyes was recognition, still barely noticeable, but the strongest yet.

"You won't be like 'Bwaaa?' for much longer," he finished, turning the dial a few times, the other members pulling their hood down further. The Leader aimed the… device at Susan, hitting her head with a weird blue light. The light disappeared and Susan's pupils returned to their normal size, one eyelid slipping down. "Lazy Susan!" The Leader said loudly. "What do you know of little bearded men?"

"My mind is cleared, thanks to the Society of the Blind Eye," Susan responded, almost robotically.

"It is unseen!" The Society said in unison. The six of us glanced at each other, shock, confusion, questions and concerns all clear in our faces, and in McGucket's case, a bit of remembrance. He hamboned something quietly that I shouldn't translate, then we all looked back at the group that, thankfully, hadn't noticed us yet.

"Lazy Susan, how do you feel?" The Leader asked her. She stood up and smiled, the robe guys who had brought her out beginning to lead her away.

"I feel great! I can't even remember what was wrong, or what I'm doing here, or if I'm a man or a woman!" With that, she was out of our sight. The Leader pulled a tube out of the top chamber and started writing something on it.

"Your memories will be safe with us, buried in the Hall of the Forgotten."

"Into the Hall of the Forgotten. Into the Hall of the Forgotten," the others chanted, making a kind of path for the leader. He put the tube into some piping like you would see at the drive-through of a bank. The tube followed the piping up the wall and across the ceiling… coming towards us!

Dipper and I yanked the curtains closed, holding our breath, not moving an inch. Any second I was expecting the robe guys to come looking for us, but they all just began saying, "Un-see you later," to each other and walking around before silence. After a few seconds, I turned around and pulled the curtains open just enough to see through.

"They're gone!" I told the others, pulling the curtains open all the way and walking down the steps. I opened the chest and saw the memory gun. It was pretty simple. The dial set what would be erased, then somehow the tube that was put in the top chamber would hold the memories. I held it out to McGucket, letting him look over it. "Anything?"

"The trigger," he told me, holding the ray comfortably in his hand. He was even able to spin the dial using one finger. It wasn't a memory exactly, but it obviously felt normal, and we were desperate for anything, even muscle memory. We were getting somewhere.

"No wonder the people of this town are so clueless," Dipper realized, taking the memory gun. "There's been a secret society of mind erasers here for who knows how long. I'll bet they erased your memory a long time ago. If we could find where your memories have been hidden, they could be the key to getting the answers we're looking for. Mabel, Wendy, I want you two to stay here and make sure those robe guys don't come back."

" _You got it, Dipping Sauce,_ " Mabel said into a walkie-talkie.

"The rest of us are going to go find the Hall of the Forgotten." Soos, who had been looking at the piping while we talked, got his hat sucked into the pipes. "Follow that hat!" Dipper yelled, the four of us running out of the room, watching the hat move along the ceiling. We had just rounded the corner by the dinosaur skeleton when Dipper stopped short, the rest of us crashing into him. Down at the end of the hallway were two of the robe guys.

"Who's there?" One of them said, his voice kind of familiar. We ducked back around the corner as the two of them started heading our way.

"What do we do? Where do we go?" McGucket asked, looking around. I noticed a covered wagon, mannequins standing in front of it.

"In here!" I yelled, ducking through the tarp and going as far back as I could, the others squeezing in beside me. We froze, listening to the robe guys talk to each other.

"I could've sworn I heard someone," the guy who had spoken earlier said to his companion.

"Probably just the janitor kissing that wax settler woman again," the other person said, his voice also vaguely familiar.

"Remind me to erase that from my memory," the first one said, their footsteps getting quieter. Soos, who had been the last one in, climbed out first, hitting the floor hard before standing up. Thankfully, the robe guys didn't come back. The rest of us climbed out, returning our gazes to the pipes in the ceiling. Soos' hat flew by, taking us away from the direction the robe guys had gone. We took off again, and it was only another minute until we came to… a trash chute?

It looked like a trash chute at least. But the piping went down it, so whatever. Dipper climbed on first, sliding down it like a fireman's pole. I followed him, McGucket and Soos behind us. We landed and ran down the hallway to a set of giant double doors, decorated with an X'd out eye design, the pipes leading through what would be the pupil. Dipper and I each grabbed one of the doors and pushed them open, revealing the Hall of the Forgotten.

"Honey fogelin' salt lickin' skullduggery," McGucket stated, which, although it didn't make sense, pretty much summed it up. For starters, the room was the size of a swimming pool. On the far side was a wooden statue of one of the robe guys, his arms outstretched like the Christ the Redeemer statue in Rio, Soos' hat dropping from a pipe and landing on its head. In the ceiling, dozens of other pipes intersected each other, opening toward the floor. And on the floor were hundreds, _hundreds,_ of tubes. There were piles, some as tall as I was, in the middle of the floor and along the walls. Crates and tables were overflowing with them. None were broken, and all were labeled.

"This," I stated. "Is going to take a while." And it did. We looked for who knows how long, throwing the tubes behind us as we read them. Some of the names I recognized, but most of them I didn't. And from what I saw, there were no repeated names. It was like trying to find a needle in a haystack. But at least it gave us time to talk to each other, something we hadn't had a lot of time to do since getting here.

"How's he holding up?" Dipper asked, coming over and bending down next to me, continuing to look at the tubes. I glanced to the other side of the room where McGucket was in a pile of tubes, his head sticking out of the top.

"I don't know," I told him honestly. "He's kind of hard to read and I don't really know how he's taking all of this. He wants his memories back, I know that much."

"Have you had any luck?"

"I told him everything on the way here. He still doesn't remember, but there have been flickers in his eyes. And the gun felt comfortable in his hand."

"What does that mean?" I was about to answer when Soos called to us.

"Hey dudes! Come check this out!" We stood up and went around the corner to where Soos was standing in front of a table. On the table was a small TV, a piece about the size of one of the memory tubes in front of it. Dipper picked up a tube labeled ROBBIE V. MEMORIES and put it in the front part, the TV screen showing Robbie sitting in the chair.

"…What is it you have seen?" The Leader asked him from off screen.

"So I was attacked by this magic Kung-Fu guy that was throwing, like, balls of fire at me," Robbie told them. "I kicked his butt though."

"Robbie, speak honestly," the Leader told him.

"I was saved by a twelve-year-old," Robbie admitted. Dipper pulled the tube out of the machine and put it back in the pile.

"I still don't get why they're erasing peoples' memories. It doesn't make sense," he said, half to himself, although he had a point. Wouldn't it be better for the people to know about what was going on so they could prepare for some of the craziness? Then I realized something.

"Why haven't they erased our memories?" I asked. Dipper and Soos turned to look at me. "Think about it. We're just staying here for the summer, and yet they haven't touched us, and we've been through more than all the other people in town put together."

"I doubt that," Dipper interrupted me, glancing around at the tubes scattered across the floor.

"Probably true, but my point is-"

"Lookie fellers!" We looked behind us to where McGucket was standing in front of the statue, pointing to one of the tubes that was on display. "It's those words what people call me!" Sure enough, on the tube were the words McGUCKET MEMORIES.

"Good, now we just have to watch them and get out of here," Dipper stated, pulling a walkie-talkie out of his backpack while McGucket climbed up the statue and grabbed his tube. A very faint beeping sound came as he turned around.

"Uuuuhhhh…" I pointed behind him. An eye insignia that was on the wall above the statue had moved, a glowing red X appearing. McGucket turned around and jumped, dropping the tube into my hands as a loud alarm went off. From behind us, the doors opened and the robe guys came running in.

"RUN!" Dipper yelled, taking off, Soos and I following him. "Mabel, Wendy, get out of there! Meet up outside!" He put the walkie talkie back in his pocket and we ran around the corner, ducking behind stone replicas of Egyptian Gods as the robe guys passed.

"Okay, I think we're safe," Dipper whispered before everything went black.

I must've been unconscious because when I woke up, I had a small headache and five of us were tied to a stone column in the Hall, the robe guys standing in front of us, saying the same Latin nonsense over and over. The good news is, it didn't look like they had taken anything from us.

"You shouldn't have come here," the Leader told us, taking McGucket's tube from Dipper's hand. "We do not give up our secrets lightly."

"Who are you bathrobe-wearing freaks?" Wendy asked them threateningly.

"Why are you doing this?" Dipper added as I slowly started reaching into my pocket.

"And what's with your creepy British accent?" Mabel questioned. The Leader shrugged to himself.

"Well, I suppose we are going to erase your minds anyway." He glanced behind him, giving me the time I needed to pull it out of my pocket. We looked up as the other robe guys took their hoods off, revealing…

"Toby Determined?" "Bud Gleeful?" "Farmer that gave me Waddles?" "Tats?" "Dude who married a woodpecker?" Some of those sort of made sense, but Bud Gleeful a part of this?

"And you've never met me before. And if you had, you wouldn't remember," the Leader told us, reaching up and pulling his hood down. He was right when he said we had never met before. At least, I thought he was right. I think I would have remembered meeting him before, but these guys do erase people's memories, so I don't really know anything anymore. He had a square jaw and big ears, deep shadows around his eyes. Over the right eye was a red scar in the shape of an X. But the weirdest part was his head. It was completely bald and COVERED in blue tattoos. It was like someone divided the parts of his brain into sections and labeled them on his head.

"I am Blind Ivan, and we are the Society of the Blind Eye," he told us, the group covering their right eye with one hand then stretching their arms out to the side. "We were formed many years ago by our founder… our founder… Does anyone remember who he was?"

"We been usin' that ray on our own brains an awful lot," Bud told him as I opened the blade.

"Why would you do all this? What do you have to gain?" Dipper asked them, taking their attention off me. Here comes the explanation-y monologue. At least we would get answers.

"As you have no doubt discovered, Gravity Falls is a town plagued with supernatural strangeness. No one knew how to stop the things that went bump in the night, so our founder invented the next best thing: a way for us to forget. We took it upon ourselves to help the troubled townsfolk by erasing the memories of the strange things they've seen. Now the people of Gravity Falls go about their lives ignorant and happy, thanks to us. And as a perk, we help ourselves forget things that trouble us." As he said that last part, his expression narrowed. "Everyone has something they'd rather forget. In fact, your own sister was about to use that ray on herself. Isn't that right?"

"Mabel? Seriously?" Dipper asked her as I thought over everything. These guys weren't evil _exactly,_ they had helped people live normal lives, but there was still McGucket.

"What about Old Man McGucket," Dipper asked, reading my thoughts. "He lives in a hut and talks to animals because of you. Don't you feel bad about that?"

"Maybe a little," Blind Ivan admitted before shooting himself with the gun. He aimed it at us, spinning the dial. "We were going to wait until then end to do this and erase it all at once, but you've learned too much here today. It's time to say goodbye to your memories." He turned the gun around, showing us what he had set to erase. It was one word, but at that point in time, it was the worst word that could have been set. SUMMER.

Two weeks ago, I had thought the worst thing in the world was that we had to leave town early and we wouldn't be able to come back to it how it was. But sitting here, back literally against a wall, I realized that leaving wasn't the worst thing in the world. The worst thing in the world would be _forgetting._ I glanced down at the knife I had been hiding behind me, and brought it up, ready to throw it at Blind Ivan and hit him, knock the gun out of his hand, break it, do something, _anything,_ that would stop this from happening, when something, I think it was a mining pan, flew around the corner and hit Blind Ivan's hand, distracting him just enough to give me the time I needed to cut through our ropes.

"Hey Dolly!" From the direction the mining pan had come from, McGucket came running up, dragging a bunch of weapons in a trash can behind him. "I raided the mining display for weapons! Now fight like a hill-billy, fellers!" Not needing to be told twice, we all grabbed a weapon and ran into the fight.

Wendy, of course, grabbed an axe, Soos took a sledgehammer, Dipper and Mabel each grabbed a shovel, and I took a crowbar. Because they were for display purposes, they were made of mostly wood and blunted metal, but we could still do some damage. Wendy, Soos and I (the better fighters) stepped forward, knocking half of the members unconscious in five seconds. Like I said, it wasn't much, but it was enough.

"McGucket's memory tube!" Dipper yelled, running forward to where the tube had been left when the fight started.

"Oh no you don't!" Tats yelled at him, bringing his fist back. I ran up behind him and brought the crowbar up between his legs, sending him to the floor. Dipper winced and tossed the tube to me. Wanting to have my hands free, I tossed it towards Mabel, but it was intercepted by the farmer.

"I'll take that, thank you," he stated, turning around and coming face-to-face with Soos, who had grabbed the memory gun and was holding it at the ready. "Give it up boy. You're no match for the unstoppable power of-" Wendy had been able to pull one of the tubes off the wall and had sucked his robe into the tube. I'm not gonna go into detail, but he had let go of the tube and it was now back in my hands.

"Time to erase that forever," Soos stated, bringing the gun up to his head just as Blind Ivan came up and snatched it out of his hand, leveling it at us.

"Give me that tube!" Yeah, that would happen. I glanced up at the piping, one of which was directly above me, McGucket up in the rafters, holding it in place. I threw it into the air, slipping it through the hole in the pipes. There was half a second of nothing, then Blind Ivan took off after the tube. Dipper and I threw our weapons to the ground, taking off after him, Dipper literally half a step in front of me, the others starting to come after us.

"Those memories belong to McGucket!" Dipper yelled at Ivan as we rounded a corner and started heading for the statue.

"The Society's secrets belong to us!" Blind Ivan responded, putting on more speed. He paused, sticking his leg out, Dipper tripping over it, me tripping over Dipper, the two of us sliding along the floor. We sat up quickly, just in time to see the tube drop into Ivan's hand. He turned around and aimed the gun at us again.

"End of the line!" He stated calmly as the others reached us, staying well back. "By tomorrow this will all seem like a bad dream. Say goodbye to your precious memories."

"NNNNNOOOOO!" All of us yelled at once, but it was too late. He pulled the trigger. On reflex, I crossed my arms over my face and closed my eyes. They say when you almost die, your life flashes before your eyes. On the back of my eyelids I saw everything that had happened to us in the space of two seconds. The Journal, Gideon, Bill, the laptop, today and everything in between was there. I could still see the light from the gun, getting brighter and brighter and…

Disappearing? I peeked open my eye and saw another blast from the gun heading towards us, but it never reached us. Instead, standing in front of us as a human shield, was McGucket.

"Are you okay?" I asked him, lowering my arms. For some reason, he started laughing.

"Okay as I'll ever be, Dolly!" He said happily, walking forward to Blind Ivan, taking hits and laughing the whole way. "Hit me with your best shot, Baldy! But my mind's been gone for thirty odd years! Ya can't break what's already broken!" He reached out and slapped the gun out of Blind Ivan's hand, sending it flying over his head and into Dipper's hands. He grabbed Ivan by the collar. "Say goodnight Sally!" He jerked Ivan forward and head-butted him, sending Ivan crashing to the floor, the tube rolling across the floor and stopping at my feet.

 **GFF**

"They're gone!" Mabel called, running up to us. We had thought it best to erase the Society members' memories of the Society itself, so we had brought them all up to the main part of the Museum and blasted them with the ray, effectively making them forget everything. And now that they were gone and didn't remember anything, it was time for the moment of truth.

"All right McGucket," Dipper said, turning the TV we had found earlier on. A green Blind Eye symbol appeared on the screen. "Are you ready to see your memories? Find out who you really are?"

"I'm not sure," he admitted, looking at us guiltily. "What if I see something I don't like? What if it doesn't help y'all? What if…" I stepped in front of him, looking him in the eye.

"We've come all this way. We're in this together. We're here for you, whatever we see." He nodded and stepped forward, putting the tube in the machine. The screen went staticy for a second before clearing. "Sweet sarsaparilla," our McGucket whispered, staring at the video in shock.

DAY 1 was in the corner of the screen. The video showed a room with charts and diagrams on white-boards and chalk-boards. And standing in the middle of the room, staring at the camera, was a young McGucket. He was probably in his mid-thirties, and even though the difference was _drastic,_ it was clearly the same person. Young McGucket had the same nose, although there was now a pair of small glasses on them. He was clean-shaven with longer hair, a few shades lighter than mine. And there were five fingers on each of his hands.

"My name is Fiddleford Hadron McGucket, and I wish to un-see what I have seen," Young McGucket started. "For the past year, I have been working as an assistant for a visiting researcher. He has been cataloging his findings about Gravity Falls in a series of journals." Dipper pulled the Journal out of his vest and flipped it open, going to the page that had the blueprint we had never been able to figure out on it. "I helped him build a machine which he believed had the potential to benefit all mankind, but something went wrong. I decided to quit the project. But I lie awake at night, haunted by the thoughts of what I've done. I believe I have invented a machine that can permanently erase these memories from my mind. Test subject One: Fiddleford." He held up the memory gun and shot himself with it.

DAY 5 appeared in the corner, a happy McGucket on the screen. "It worked! I can't recall a thing!" There was static and we were now on DAY 22. The room he was in had lost all the diagrams. They were now replaced by Society of the Blind Eye symbols. McGucket was writing something on the cover of a notebook. "I call it the Society of the Blind Eye! We will help those who want to forget by erasing their bad memories!"

DAY 74. McGucket now had stubble and the room he was in had been totaled. "Today I came across a colony of little men, very disturbing. I would like to forget seeing this." He brought up the memory gun and shot himself with it again.

DAY 189. The room was even more of a mess than it had been before. McGucket's hair was starting to go gray. There was a bandage on his chin, his right arm was in a cast and sling, and one lens of his glasses was cracked. "I accidentally hit another car in town today. I feel terri-bibble, t-terrible! I been forgettin' words lately. I wonder if there are any negative side effects…"

DAY 273. Instead of being in the room, McGucket was now in a motel. The sling was gone but his arm was still in a cast. He now had a full beard, not as long as it was now, but it was getting there. "I saw somethin' in the lake! Somethin' big!" He yelled, grabbing two fistfuls of hair and pulling it out, his glasses falling off his face.

DAY 618. He was still in the motel. His beard was longer and he had his normal hat on, covering his head. "My hair's been a-fallin' out so I got this hat from a scarecrow! Hey, are my pants on backwards?" There was another few second of static, then McGucket, looking how he did now came on screen, the junkyard in the background. The day was unknown. He spoke a bit of gibberish then got close to the camera, putting the thumb and pointer finger of each hand around his eye in the shape of a triangle before the video ended completely.

So, all that just happened. I had no idea what to make of all that, and it didn't look like anyone else did either. But the gist was obvious. McGucket was not the Author, and he had founded the Society.

"McGucket," Mabel whispered, patting his shoulder in sympathy. He brushed her off and pulled the memory tube out of the machine.

"Ya kids helped me get my memories back, just like ya said. After all these years, I finally know who I was. I might've messed up in the past, but know that I know what happened before I can begin to put myself together again." He tucked the tube into his overalls and started hamboning.

"Thanks for opening my eyes," I translated to Dipper. He nodded and handed the Journal to him.

"So you weren't the Author, but you worked with him. Do you remember who he was?"

"It's beginning to come back, but I need some time," McGucket admitted. Dipper nodded; we hadn't really been expecting him to remember something so quickly. McGucket looked behind him. "And readin' glasses! Heck!" He grabbed a pair of gold-framed glasses with a green lens and put them on before spitting happily. "I got some rememberin' to do!"

"So Mabel, you still wanna erase those failed summer romances?" Wendy asked, holding up the memory gun. Mabel looked at McGucket and smiled.

"No one likes having bad memories, but maybe it's better to remember the bad things and learn from them than go all denial-crazy trying to forget."

"That's some mature junk right there."

"Yep. Miss Mature, that's me," Mabel said happily before pulled out a poster of Gabe. "You guys wanna help me vandalize this picture of my jerky ex-crush?!" Dipper and I pulled out pens and passed them around, the six of us putting mustaches, buck teeth, an eye-patch, unibrow, and other stuff all over the poster, laughing the whole time.

We grabbed our stuff, including the memory ray and the TV that came with it, and left the Museum. Soos and Wendy got in front, the rest of us climbing in the back. Yes, it was crowded, but after all that happened today, we didn't care. McGucket had climbed in first, going in through the window, so when we got there, he was solving a Rubix Cube. In five seconds flat, it was solved.

"It's comin' back," he whispered to me as we pulled out of the parking lot and started heading towards the junkyard. "Can I see that book you found again?"

"Yeah, here," Dipper said, pulling the Journal out of his backpack and handing it to him. McGucket started leafing through the pages. He stopped on one with a few diagrams and blueprints on it.

"It's all so familiar," he whispered, running his hand over a picture of a fuel gauge. "It's almost like I can remember…"

"It'll come back to you sooner or later," I assured him. There was no doubt in my mind that it would come back. It was only a matter of time…

 **Stan's POV**

"Alright, you're getting closer," I said to myself, pouring fuel into the tank. I had no idea where the kids had run off too, but they had been gone all day, so I wasn't complaining. It had given me a lot of time to work on the portal without being worried about them finding out. I grabbed my coffee mug and the notebook I had been using and walked into the portal room, watching the symbols around the center light up different colors. They say the most beautiful things in the world are often the most deadly, and the machine fit that criteria to a T.

"Every day it's getting stronger," I muttered. Just then, the power surged, yanking the notebook and mug out of my hands and taking my fez off my head and the pen behind my ear with it. I reached out and grabbed my fez, putting it back on my head as the other items entered the center of the machine. "Yes!" I yelled, backing up and throwing my hands into the air.

"GAH!" The thing was so powerful it pulled an old piece of pipe into the air, cutting the back of my hand before the portal took it in. I shrugged; I had felt worse. I went back into the control room and grabbed a role of bandages, starting to wrap my hand in them, talking to myself. "I don't care if it's dangerous. I don't care how long it takes. I'm gonna…"

I noticed the picture of me and the kids I had on the table. They were smart. If they got word of what was going on down here, how would they react? Would they help me or would they try to stop what I was doing? How much would I have to tell them? Would they be able to trust me again? Did they even trust me now? But they hadn't found out yet, and there was only a month left. I could do this. "I'm gonna pull this off and _no one_ is gonna get in my way."


	27. Blendin's Game

**I'm going to say this now, even though I think it is obvious. Because of timeline issues, I had to move Soos' birthday from 13th to 31st. The date doesn't really matter, but I had to say it anyway. Now, shout outs!**

 **gamelover41592- Thanks for your review! It was one of my favorite episodes as well, so writing it was easy.**

 **Female Fantasy Freak- Now problem, and I hope your birthday was a good one. I'm glad you like the Willow/Fiddleford bond. That was actually the reason I didn't make Stan and Ford have another sibling. Fiddleford was as involved in their generation, and I figured that since he eventually went from a crazy old man to a crazy genius, I might as well have Willow bond with him like Mabel and Dipper bond with Stan and Ford. And I'm impressed you were able to calm Bill down enough for him to play you Happy Birthday. And threatening to take away cake works for ANYBODY! Unless you have a death wish, you NEVER get in the way of someone and cake! Thanks for your review!**

 **Disclaimer: I only own Willow and anything else you don't recognize. Everyone/everything else belongs to Alex Hirsch and Disney XD.**

* * *

 **Mabel's POV (July 31st)**

"I'm telling you, we're forgetting something," Willow insisted as we went into the gift shop. Ever since we had woken up this morning, she had felt like we had forgotten something, and it was starting to get annoying.

"You're just paranoid from yesterday," I told her, heading behind the counter. They started talking about McGucket and the laptop as I grabbed some coins for the vending machine. I walked up to it and put the coins in, hitting the keys for Yumber Jacks. The spiral part started spinning, the bag getting closer and closer and- "NNNOOO!" I yelled as the bag got stuck halfway down. "Everything is terrible forever!"

"What is wrong with that thing?" Dipper muttered, heading behind the counter and opening the cash register. Every time any of us had tried to get something, it never worked properly. Luckily, a few weeks ago, Wendy had found the key under the register tray. Ever since, we had been using it to get snacks. But apparently, Grunkle Stan had caught on, because the key was no longer there.

"Hey dudes!" Soos called, entering from the main part of the house. "You wanna know a trick?" He hit the side of the machine three times, then elbowed it, the front of the machine popping open. "A genius taught me that once," he told us, reaching into the machine and grabbing bags of candy. "This just in: weather stations are calling for a candy blizzard!" He started making it rain candy into our arms.

"Forget taking off the wrappers! I'm eating these now!" I yelled excitedly, shoving candy into my mouth, wrappers and all, regretting it a second later as I started coughing and choking, punching my stomach to try and get the candy out of me. It worked, but it really tired me out, so I sprawled out on the floor as Wills and the boys kept talking.

"Soos, you are the greatest human ever to live," Dipper told Soos, the sound of coins going into the machine.

"No sweat dudes. I'd do anything for the Pines family."

"Soos! I need to scratch myself in two places at once!" Grunkle Stan called from inside the house.

"And I mean anything," Soos told us, pocketing the candy bar he had gotten. "Coming Mr. Pines!" He called, heading back into the house.

"Mabel, you good?" Wills asked me, grabbing my hand and pulling me to my feet. I nodded, getting my breath back.

"That was a mistake," I stated, even though her face said it was obvious.

"Remind me to give Soos his wallet back later," Dipper told us, reaching to put the wallet in his vest when I reached out and stopped him.

"We've never seen Soos' wallet before. Don't you guys wanna learn some Soos secrets?"

"I don't know if we should- WHOA!" Dipper pulled out a membership card to the Laser Tag arena in town. "Soos has a membership to Laser Tag? I didn't know they let adults in there."

"And look," I gasped, pulling a piece of meat labeled 4 EMERGENCIES out of the wallet. "Emergency salami! Soos, my respect for you has grown."

"Look at this," Willow said, holding out Soos' driver's license. Most ID pictures never come out well anyway, but Soos clearly hadn't been ready for the flash, and he had some serious red-eye going.

"Jésus Alzamirano Ramirez," Dipper read from the license. "Organ donor. Birthday July 31st." It hit all of us at the same time.

"I TOLD you we were forgetting something!" Willow yelled, obviously glad the feeling she had in the back of her head had disappeared. "We have to make it up to him somehow."

"We can throw him a surprise party," I said excitedly, already picturing everything in my head. "Frankly, I love planning everything, but having a surprise party for us one year would be nice."

"Surprise!" Out of nowhere, Candy appeared, throwing confetti on me. I turned and slowly and glared at her.

"Too little, too late, Chiu," I growled. Candy sighed and walk back outside.

"One, where did she come from?" Willow questioned. "And two, you do realize our birthday isn't for another month?" She reminded me. Man, we only had a month left up here. Wow.

"This isn't about us, it's about Soos," I stated, putting thoughts of us leaving town out of my head for now, looking up at the ceiling. "Party team, MOVE OUT!"

 **GFF**

Since Candy and Grenda had shown up, it only took us an hour to get everything together. Dipper and Willow had gone into town to get party food while Candy, Grenda and I raided the Shack for decorations. By the time they got back, we were almost done. There was just a few things missing…

"More exclamation points! More I say!" I yelled at Grenda as Dipper and Wills put the food out on the table.

"Wow, you guys thought of everything," Grenda said, painting a bunch more exclamation points on the banner.

"Well, when you've shared every birthday with someone, you learn how to make them perfect," I told her, grabbing Candy as she passed by. "Go get Soos," I said, handing her a blindfold. Candy ran off, giving us time to double check that everything was in place.

"They're coming!" Dipper called in a whisper, the four of us ducking down behind the table, shushing each other repeatedly. For some reason, we heard Soos say something about a giant hummingbird, whatever that had to do with anything. Then Candy stepped back and made a gesture to us, telling us that we should get into position. As soon as we were ready, she stepped back.

"Three, two, one…" Candy said, and Soos pulled the blindfold off.

"SURPRISE!" The five of us yelled, me walking up to him and grabbing his hand, leading him around. "Happy birthday, you king on Earth! We got everything you love! Cake flavored pizza, pizza flavored cake, and one more treat…" I pulled a curtain aside, revealing Toby Determined in a sparkly red leotard, a big blue bow-tie around his neck, dancing to showtunes under a sign that said THE RAZZ DAZZLER.

"Razzle dazzle friends," Toby said, dancing backwards to grab a Polaroid camera. "It's the Razz-Dazzler! This is what my life has become."

"Everyone pose for the Birthday Smiles Memory Album!" I yelled, the five of us gathering around Soos for the picture. Grenda, the only one tall enough, went beside him, the rest of us falling in in front as Toby snapped the picture. He handed the camera off to me, the picture developing surprisingly quickly. Instead of everyone smiling and looking happy, Soos just looked shocked and depressed.

"Soos, what's wrong?" I asked him, the look in the picture still on his face.

"I, uh, it's, it's nothing!" He stuttered, taking his hat off of his head and squeezing it in his fist so hard his knuckles turned white. "I… I gotta go fix a pipe or something," he decided, even though it was obviously a lie. He walked away, downcast. We were missing something here. Something must have happened, but we had no idea what it was.

"What's up with Soos?" Wendy questioned, she and Grunkle Stan coming around the corner. As soon as they saw the decorations, Wendy face-palmed and Grunkle Stan pinched the bridge of his nose.

"Kids, you didn't," Grunkle Stan muttered into his hand.

"What is it?" Dipper asked them.

"You guys didn't know, so it's not your fault," Wendy started to explain, "But Soos hates his birthday." Willow went to interrupt her, but she cut her off. "We have no idea. It's a total mystery. Some weird personal biz." I went to interrupt her this time, but I was cut off as well. "We've _literally_ tried everything."

"I even petitioned the government to have this day removed from calendars," Grunkle Stan told us, holding up a mugshot of himself, the word BANNED stamped over his face in red letters. "Now I'm not allowed on airplanes."

"What happened to your hand?" I asked, noticing bandages wrapped around it as he put the mugshot back in his jacket.

"Cut it on a pipe," he responded, shrugging it off. I nodded and we went to look at Soos around the corner of the Shack. He was sitting on the steps, staring down at something in his hands. I think it was a postcard. But whatever it was, he was staring at it depressed.

"We have to do something," I whispered, feeling guilty about everything. Now that I thought about it, Soos had never actually _told_ us when his birthday was. We had just figured it out on our own. If he had wanted a party, he would have told us when his birthday was. We had thrown him a party without him wanting one, and now he was depressed, all because of us.

"I don't know guys," Wendy told us. "Not blaming you, but don't you think you've done enough? Maybe we should just leave him be, you know?"

"Exactly why we have to do something to cheer him up," Dipper responded. "This is our fault, and we have to do something to fix it. We just have to try harder."

"You're right, guys," I said encouragingly, shooting finger-guns into the air. "It's time for us to bring out the big guns!"

'Big Gunz' was the name of the Laser Tag place in town, which, according to Grunkle Stan, used to be a mattress store, which explained why the walls were just spray-painted mattresses. At least it was easy getting Soos in the car, although he was suspicious about the blindfold.

"Alright guys," he said as we lead him into the building. "Blindfold me once, shame on you. Blindfold me twice-" He stopped, moving his head around, even though he couldn't see anything. "Hot dog smell? Sticky floors? Future sounds?" He reached up and pulled the blindfold off, recognizing where he was. "How'd you dudes know I love laser tag?"

"We definitely didn't rifle through your wallet," I told him, laughing nervously as we went over to put on the laser vests.

"I don't know if I'm up for this today, dudes," Soos told us, sliding the vest on anyway.

"Soos, we're sorry," Willow told him. "At least let us try and make it up to you."

"We promise, you're gonna have a great time," Dipper added encouragingly.

"I guess I could give it a shot," he decided, smiling and falling into line behind us. We were on one team, Grunkle Stan, Wendy, Candy and Grenda on the other. The announcement board counted down from three, the doors opening, Grunkle Stan's team running in. We followed them, Soos tying his shoe as we started running in. It was different than I had pictured. The room was all white light, two laser guys that looked vaguely familiar standing in the middle of the room.

"This is even cooler than I imagined," I said happily, walking up to the lighter guy. "Look at how real these laser guys are!" I kicked out, hitting two solid kicks in danger zone, but the guy didn't even flinch, and the metal part of his suit lit up and spoke. " _Kick deflected! Thank you for buying Digi-cod, the smart codpiece!"_

"What the heck is- oh no." I turned around and saw bars of light running from ceiling to floor, Soos, in the laser tag area, standing up and walking towards us. The wall filled in, Soos disappearing, trapping us in the room. I ran up to the wall and started kicking it, but it didn't do anything.

"Nice try," the guy told us, bringing our attention back to them. "But that's solid time-tanium, kid! There's only one way out of here!"

"Through me!" A familiar voice said. Off in one corner, there was a body-shaped screen of static, and a bald head with goggles appeared, floating in the air. The owner's body flickered, showing a mansion, a place in town, and the ocean, before going gray. "Through me," the person repeated, slapping his head for messing up his dramatic reveal, but we still recognized him, and now I knew why the other two were familiar.

"The time traveler guy!" I yelled, shocked. I had never expected to see him again, so much so I had forgotten his name. "What did you say your name was again? Blendo… Blondin…"

"Blar-blar," Dipper supplied.

"It's Blendin!" The guy snapped at us. "Blendin Blenjamin Blandin! How could you not know my name after you ruined my life?"

"Listen Baldwin," Willow told him, stepping forward. "A lot of stuff was going that day, and we have no idea what the heck you're talking about."

"Then allow me to explain," he responded. "After you kids stole my time machine to win your stupid pig or something, I was cast out of the Time Anomaly Removal Crew, my entire life's purpose. I was given ten squared life sentences in time prison. Every day since then I've been planning my revenge, and now, the time has come!" Well, that's just great! Like we needed an evil time traveler to show up, bent on revenge, on our best friends birthday, right when we were trying to make it up to him because we threw him a surprise party that he never wanted. Sometimes, I really hated the weirdness of this town.

"Look, we're really sorry about all that, but we're in the middle of something _really_ important right now," Dipper told them, exasperated.

"It's our friends' birthday today and we promised him we wouldn't leave his side," I elaborated, causing Blendin to spaz out.

"You think some dumb birthday matters right now? Do you have any idea where you are?"

"In a small room with a-"

"Don't be smart, girl," Blendin snapped at Willow. "Welcome… to Globnar!" The wall behind him opened, bars of light blocking the way out, but allowing us to see into an arena, similar to that of a game stadium, but in the center were different groups of people fighting each other in a variety of events.

"Is this a reality show?" I questioned, gasping. "Are we in Japan?" Some of the events really did look like they were part of a Japanese game show, but as we kept watching, I realized there was a different feel to everything. More Hunger-Games-y than joking or funny.

"It's gladiatorial time combat!" Blendin explained, the jumbo screen at the far end of the stadium showing one guy standing on a pedestal above another guy, a glowing orange ball with an hourglass in it floating beside him. "The winner gets a precious time wish, and then decides the loser's fate!" On screen, the guy on the pedestal aimed his thumb down, the other guy disappearing in a flash of purple light. "And the three of you have officially been challenged." Blendin turned around and called to one of the soldiers, leaving us to stare at the events in the arena.

"We need to get out of here!" I whisper-yelled. We turned around, looking around the room for a way to get out of here. There wasn't much, just the six of us and whatever we had on us, but it was enough.

"I have an idea," Dipper stated, laying out the plan.

"You remember how to use that thing, right?" Willow questioned. If I had learned anything from Back to the Future and Doctor Who, it was that you had to know how to use your time machine, otherwise the Butterfly Effect would be the least of your concerns.

"We got this," Dipper assured us, putting his fist out. "Pines Inc.?"

"Pines Inc." Willow and I repeated, the three of us fist bumping and moving into position. Willow went over to where the dark-skinned guard, whose nametag said Dundgren, was painting Blendin's face, while Dipper snuck behind the lighter skinned guard.

"Oh my stars!" I said, staring up at the guard. "Could it be? My little… Lolph!" I doubted I was pronouncing that right, but he didn't bust us yet, so I glanced at Dipper, who was making _keep going_ gestures. "It's me! You're great, great, great, great… great… great… great-grandmother! From the past time." _Please work, please work, please-_

"Gam gam?" He asked, stars in his eyes. Dipper pulled the time machine off of the holster and backed up, walking towards me.

"You can't let them escape!" Blendin yelled suddenly. I whirled around and saw Blendin and Dundgren starting to move towards us. Willow ran forward and stopped in front of them, squeezing the face paint tubes, hitting them square in the face, causing them to trip over each other as they tried to jump at us. She dropped the paint tubes and ran over us, grabbing Dipper's arm as he pulled the tape out.

"Hurry! Back to Soos' birthday!" I yelled, taking his other arm just as he hit the button, sending us back in time.

It was different then last time we had done this. It still felt like we were being sucked into a vacuum, but I had my eyes open. The last times, all I had been able to see was blackness, but this time, it was like we were watching a movie. Events were flashing by at light speed, giving us glimpses of the past, and some stuff that I had serious doubts have happened in the last 24 hours. Suddenly, the vacuum feeling was replaced by a feeling of falling. We crashed down on something not entirely soft, but softer than the floor.

"Are we back?" Willow questioned as we sat up, looking around. Instead of being in the laser tag area, or even somewhere familiar, we were sitting on a mattress, a dozen or so other mattresses scattered around the room, people walking around, looking at them.

"The laser place is a mattress store!" Dipper stated, face-palming. "We went too far in the past!"

"Time travel man!" I yelled, exasperated. "Why you gotta be so complicated?" The air started tingling, like how you feel when you've just built up a lot of static electricity and you're reaching to touch something metal. A small burst of light appeared over one of the other beds. We ducked under the one we had landed on just in time to see Blendin and the soldiers land on the bed beside us.

"It looks like they overshot their destination by ten years," Dundgren stated, the three of them stepping off the mattress.

"I don't see them!" Blendin snapped, wiping off the face paint he had put on. "You better find those kids!"

"You'll get your justice Blendin," Lolph assured him.

"I'm gonna keep stammering until you find them!" Blendin said, beginning to stutter as he walked out of the store.

"I hate that guy," Lolph said, he and Dundgren following Blendin out. Once we were sure they were gone, we crawled out from under the bed.

"Okay, we just have to go forward ten years," Dipper muttered to himself. "We can be back before Soos even realizes we were gone."

"And I'm using the time machine this time," Wills told Dipper as we started looking around for the time machine.

"Guys!" I called when I found it by the leg of bunk beds. I reached down and picked up the machine, which was now bent and sparking slightly. "It's busted! Can you fix it?"

"Maybe." "Probably," they replied. "We're going to need tools," Dipper whispered, fiddling with the machine. "And I think I know where to get some," he commented, pointing at a sign outside that said MYSTERY SHACK, ONE MILE in bold letters. We walked out of the shop, and I immediately wished I had a camera on me.

"Everything is the same-y, but also different-y," I said in awe as we started walking down Main Street. The town itself looked pretty much the same, just ten years newer, and there were a few things I hadn't seen before (a dance studio) and other things that were missing (the statue of Nathaniel Northwest). But the people were definitely different. Most of the people we knew from the future were at the age where ten years makes all the difference. They were still recognizable, but the style and behavior differences were noticeable. It was weird, like how you feel when your house has been redecorated and you're still not use to the differences.

"We wanna lay low," Dipper whispered, purposely pulling us to the other side of the street to avoid having to walk past the Mr. and Mrs. Gleeful, who were pushing a baby carriage, the top of a white head sticking out. "We don't wanna butterfly effect anything like-" We rounded the corner and almost crashed into two familiar little girls on tricycles.

"Sorry," the darker girl with magenta hair told us. Her friend, a pale red-head, leaned in and whispered in her ear. "Wendy thinks you're cute!" She told us, pointing at Dipper.

"Tambry! Shut up!" Little Wendy yelled, pushing Little Tambry off her tricycle, her cheeks going as red as her hair.

"Thank you," Dipper said, blushing almost as badly as Little Wendy was. "I mean, you're super young, so this is weird."

"Now you know how she feels, creep," I told him, the three of us walking on as Little Tambry climbed back on her tricycle, the two of them pedaling in the opposite direction. Now I really wished I had a camera on me. Telling Wendy about this adventure would be a lot better if I had a picture to show her along with it, but what can you do?

We made it back to the Shack in record time. From the outside, the Shack looked almost exactly the same as it did in the future. The only difference was that the S in SHACK was in the correct place, something that was weird seeing after so long of it being messed up. Grunkle Stan, who looked pretty much the same, just with less gray hair, was outside leading a tour, which made sneaking into the Gift Shop a piece of cake.

"There's an old Polaroid in my workshop," Wills told Dipper, who nodded and took off as I started looking around the gift shop. I noticed a little boy, probably right around our age, staring up and the vending machine, punching the side of it with his fist, a bag of candy stuck halfway like how it was this morning for me.

"Allow me," I told the kid, walking past him. "You just need to know a guy on the inside." I hit the side three times, then elbowed it, just like Soos had shown me, the door popping open. I reached in and grabbed his candy bag and a few others, then turned around, reaching to hand them off to the kid when I recognized him.

"Thanks dude," Soos told me, accepting the candy, oblivious to the fact that I had practically frozen. "You must be some kind of genius," he added, looking around the gift shop, leaving me to stare at him. His clothes were different, of course, but he had the same teeth and glint in his eyes, like he was always thinking of a joke he had found funny. I ran up to the others, who had fixed the machine and made a stack of Polaroids, and grabbed their heads, making them look at where Soos had started looking at the question mark shirts.

"Oh, my, God." "No way." They breathed, recognizing him instantly.

" _Mi precioso,"_ an older woman, who was clearly Abuelita, again younger and with less gray hair, said, walking up to Soos and leading him out of the gift shop. "You keep wandering off. You don't want to be late for your big day."

"Big day?" I repeated once they were gone, looking at them excitedly. "This could be the birthday where that personal biz went down! We could find out why Soos hates his birthday!" They came out of their shock just long enough to glance at each other before agreeing.

"But we have to be quick," Dipper reminded us as we walked out of the Gift Shop and into the woods. He looked at Wills and held up the pictures he had taken of the time machine. "What we should do with these?"

"I have an idea," She assured him, leading the way into a familiar clearing. She walked up to one tree and hit the side of it. Sure enough, the clanking sound of metal rang out. She then opened the panel, revealing the controls. She flipped the switch and the hidden compartment on the ground opened up.

"It's still there," Dipper stated, bending down and pulling out the familiar book, which looked the same. Dipper placed the pictures in the compartment, then began flipping through the Journal, looking to see if there was anything that our version had left out. "It's exactly the same," he said after a minute, placing the Journal back in the compartment. Wills flipped the switches again, closing the compartment before closing the door in the tree.

"Now we can go to Soos' birthday," She said, leading the way through the trees. We made it into town without any trouble, the people walking around not paying any attention to us. When we got to Soos' street, we snuck behind the other houses on the road and walked up to the party in the back yard, hiding behind some bushes, staying far enough away that we wouldn't be seen, but close enough that we could hear everything.

"Who's a handsome birthday boy?" An older girl asked Soos, pinching his cheek. "It's you!"

"Soos, you are such a lady's man," Abuelita said, coming up to Soos, a pink cake box in her arms.

"She's my cousin, Abuelita, gross!" Soos told her, smiling slightly.

"I got you a race car cake," Abuelita told him, opening the lid, showing him a blue cake with a red race car decoration on the top.

"I don't see why Soos hates his birthday," Dipper commented. "This looks great!"

"Maybe this isn't the right birthday?" Wills offered. We just knew that something had happened to make Soos hate his birthday. We didn't know when it had happened, and there were ten years between today and 2012. A lot could have happened in ten years. But there was a weird feeling in the pit of my stomach, like anxiety, that told me we were at the right party.

"No, I can feel it," I whispered seriously. We looked back at the party, where Soos was licking the icing off of the bottom of the racecar when another kid took the seat at the head of the table.

"Sorry dude, but could you move seats?" Soos asked the boy. "That's the seat of honor."

"Who's it for?" The kid questioned skeptically. It was Soos' party. Why wouldn't he be at the head?

"It's for my dad actually." Soos told him, smiling shyly. "I haven't seen him in like, eight years, but he's coming today!" There was a bit of silence, but then Soos stood up excitedly, straightening himself out. "That must be him!" He stood up and went inside, the three of us sneaking around the outside of the house and looking in through a window in the living room. Soos took a few deep breathes and opened the door, the smile on his face disappearing.

"Postcard for Soos," the mailman said, handing him the postcard before leaving. I couldn't read what was written on the back, but from the front, it looked like it was from New Orleans. With the actions of someone used to doing something, but hating having to do it, Soos flipped the card over and read what was written on the back out loud.

" _Sorry Champ, couldn't make it this year. Real busy again. See you next year for sure. Dad."_

"Don't sweat it cuz," a young boy, who I think was his cousin Reggie, told him, patting his shoulder, although Soos' depression was obvious. "You'll see him next year."

"Yeah, next year," Soos said sadly. He reached under the couch and pulled out an old shoebox, placing the postcard in it before closing it back up and sliding it back under the couch. He stood up and started walking to the main part of the house. "I'm gonna go lay down. You party without me dudes."

"Wait! What about your presents?" Abuelita called after him, holding up a large rectangle present with legs sticking out of the bottom. Soos said nothing, didn't even turn around. He walked into his room and slammed the door behind him. Abuelita turn to look at Reggie. "Go tell everyone the party's over," she told him. He nodded and went back outside as Abuelita went into the kitchen. The three of us ducked down under the window ledge, leaning with our backs against the side of the house.

"Oh my…" "I can't believe…" "But why would…" Piedmont didn't have a lot of Hispanic people living in it, not even San Francisco had that many. But we were from California, so learning about the Spanish culture was kind of a given. They were VERY family oriented, and while I knew that Soos' father was not Hispanic, him leaving was huge.

"No wonder Soos hates his birthday," Dipper realized. "It's the day he realized his dad wasn't coming back."

"So, how much partying can fix that?" I questioned, trying for a joke, but it fell flat. "This is awful."

"How can we give Soos a happy birthday now?" Wills asked, thinking out loud. "I mean, this isn't something we can just solve in the next ten minutes. This goes beyond anything we know how to fix." I knew how much she hated to admit it, but none of us had no idea what we could possibly do to fix this. Emotions aren't something you just reprogram. It was a long process.

"Maybe we could erase his memory?" I offered, but shook my head even as I said it. "That would just make things even more complicated."

"Maybe we could go back in time and change things?" Wills suggested, but Dipper shook his head.

"Even if we did know when to go back to and how to fix things, we could Butterfly Effect and mess everything up. What we need is a way to go back and change things without worrying about the effects. We need a way to make sure things work out how we want them to."

"But how can we do that?" I asked, then from behind me I heard a familiar whining voice. I stood up and glanced around the corner, Blendin being led between the two soldiers, weird glowing magenta handcuffs around his wrists. "Hide!" I yelled, running back and grabbing their wrists, dragging them behind a tree in the yard.

"Trace their chrono-signatures," Lolph barked, he and Dundgren pulling out weird sensors. Lolph went over to the other side of the yard while Dundgren stayed behind to watch Blendin, who had taken a seat on the picnic table.

"Man, the sooner I defeat those kids in Globnar, the sooner I can win my time wish," Blendin said to himself. Dundgren glanced at him, smiling blissfully.

"Tell you what I'd do if I had a time wish," he said longingly. "Retire early. Spend more time with the kids."

"Blah blah blah blah blah, with the kids!" Blendin nagged. "Don't you know a time wish can literally do anything? Any impossible problem solved, just like that? I mean, imagine the possibilities!" Now, we weren't really religious, but right then and there, I had to give thanks to whatever higher power there was that seemed to always give us the answer to our problems.

"Do you really think we can win Globnar?" I questioned, although I was already sold on the idea.

"The challenges can't be that hard, and from what I can see, it's the only chance we have," Dipper told me, looking towards the house. Through an open window, we could see Soos' room, Soos sitting on his bed depressed, an untouched plate of dinosaur cookies on the nightstand beside him. "Besides, Soos would do the same for us." We took one last look at each other, then stood up and laced our fingers behind our heads.

"We surrender!" Willow called, the three of them looking at us, Blendin with glee, the others with apprehension. They pulled out weird looking guns and aimed them at us.

"Careful, they're from the past," Lolph ordered. "They might have powder muskets or slap bracelets." Sure, let's go with that.

"Guys, no tricks this time," Dipper promised them. "We're ready to accept your challenge, okay?"

"YES!" Blendin yelled happily. "Let the Globnar begin! Prepare… for… GLOBNNNAAAA-" His scream was cut off as Lolph pressed a few buttons on his watch, teleporting us into the center of the Globnar arena, the sound of fans chanting GLOBNAR repeatedly echoing all around us, an hourglass insignia on the center of the floor.

If you've even been on the field/court of a sports stadium, people watching or not, you know how it feels standing there, looking up at the rows of seats circling around you. Now imagine that feeling with the stadium, which is at least twice the size of a normal one, filled up, thousands of people staring at you, and you're in weird glowing futuristic handcuffs about to fight probably the worst time traveler in the history of ever who's bent on revenge because you (unintentionally) ruined his life, while at the same time, you're trying to win an all-powerful time wish in order for your best friend to meet his father, and you'll pretty much know how it felt for us to be standing there.

"SILENCE!" A deep, booming voice echoed around the stadium, silencing everyone in it instantly. We looked over to where a hole had opened up underneath the Jumbotron, staring as the owner of the voice floated up out of the hole.

"That is one big baby," I commented in shock. A HUGE baby had appeared, floating in some weird metal diaper like thing. And when I say HUGE, I mean like the size of a skyscraper huge. In the center of his forehead, just above the eyes, was an hourglass symbol, similar to what was on the side of the time machine. Aside from the size, the deep voice, and the hourglass birthmark (because I have no idea what else to call it), he looked like an average baby. That was until one overzealous fan yelled and the baby shot lasers from his eyes, vaporizing the person on the spot.

"Welcome Globnar tributes!" The baby boomed, his voice six octaves deeper than anyone we knew. "I have a very important nap to get to, so we're going to make this quick. You each have a chance to settle your time feud through gladiatorial combat."

"You have until Time Baby finishes drinking the cosmic sand in this hourglass," a robot said, floating up behind us, a baby bottle the size of a school bus held in its robotic arms.

"Question," Willow asked, glancing at Blendin. "How long does it usually take Time Baby to drink that?"

"Let's just say Overtime lasts longer than the game itself," Blendin told her, accepting a bo-staff Dundgren handed him. "But it doesn't matter. When I get that time wish, you'll be wishing you were never born. Or you'll be wishing you were born, because _I'm_ gonna wish you were never born!"

"Dream on!" Dipper snapped threateningly. "There's three of us!"

"And we have hair!" I added, to which Blendin smirked.

"Oh yeah?" He asked, stepping forward. He whirled the bo-staff around his body, spinning it like a helicopter blade. That was impressive by normal standards, but add in the fact that he had handcuffs on, it was enough to make us nervous. "Well I have training! What'd you think I did in prison all that time?"

"Uh oh," Wills muttered, the three of us realizing at the same time that we had never actually gotten the rules for any of this, but it was too late now.

"Let the Globnar… BEGIN!" Time Baby boomed, the scoreboard lighting up, our handcuffs falling off. Blendin let out a battle cry, and the game was on.

Time-Baby-knows-how-long later, the four of us shut the door on the Cyclocks. And yes, it is what it sounds like. Some time ago, we had all lost count of everything. It wasn't really about the score anymore as much as getting to the next challenge, although the score was still important. Anything you could think of, we did. From playing chess to eating hot dogs, we did all of it, and the four of us were all exhausted. The Mabel Juice I had been able to make for us during a break wasn't helping much, neither did the fact that we were beat up, cut and scraped, among other things. It wasn't as bad as when we had fought Gideon, or even when Bill possessed Dipper, but it was close.

"Very good," Time Baby told us, pulling the bottle out of his mouth, which was now almost completely empty. "You have escaped the Cyclocks."

"Yes!" Blendin breathed, looking at the scoreboard. We were tied, 763 points each. "Blendin for the almost win!"

"There is only one final challenge for Globnar," Time Baby told us dramatically, the now-familiar red glow coming from the floor. "An ancient game, thousands of years old, chosen for its exemplification of pure strategy. The ancient art… OF LASER TAG!" All around us, a laser tag arena appeared, along with sensor vests and weapons appearing on our shoulders and in our hands. And floating at the top of a staircase was the glowing orange Time Wish. "The one who touches the victory orb first will win!"

"Laser tag? Seriously?" Dipper questioned. After everything else we've had do to, laser tag seemed kind of timid.

"It may not seem that challenging now kids," Blendin told us, holstering his weapon. "But this version of Laser Tag allows for actual, weaponless fighting. And just wait until the turn on the fog machines and strobe lights. You'll be done for! You just wait until-"

"GOT IT!" Wills called excitedly, standing on top of the staircase, the time wish floating just beside her head. "Game over Blendin!" She yelled, and touched the orb, a white light coming out of it, Time Baby's burp resonating out, signaling the end of the game.

The next few seconds were blurs of hugging, cheering, yelling and just all out chaos that was eventually silenced by Time Baby's booming voice saying, "IT IS FINISHED!" Time Baby floated down beside us as the crowd calmed down, so by the time he was next to us, the only sound came from a seething Blendin.

"You have made victory in Globnar," Time Baby told us, hovering the Time Wish above his hand. Before I give you your Time Wish, tell us. What fate have you decided for the loser?"

"DEATH!" I yelled, causing everyone, even the robot guards and a good number of fans to look at me in shock. "Sorry, everyone. Not really. Got carried away…" I turned around and grabbed my siblings' shoulders, gathering the three of us into a huddle.

"So Blendin was trying to wish us out of existence," Wills recapped. "But it was kind of our fault his life got ruined."

"Yeah, and it's not like he's that much of a bad guy," I added, all of us agreeing on that count.

"Treat him right now, he turns out better later?" Dipper confirmed, to which we all nodded. We broke apart and turned to look up at Time Baby. "As long as you keep an eye on him, at least for a little while, we'd like to set Blendin free."

"And we'd like you to restore his former position in the Time Anomaly Removal Crew," Willow added.

"And give him pretty hair!" I finished. Time Baby shrugged and the hourglass symbol on his head lit up while the crowd sighed and Blendin just looked stunned.

"What, really? You'd do all that for me?" As he said those words, his handcuffs fell off and a mustache shaped tuft of hair appeared on his head. "You gave me my job back?!"

"We made you lose your job in the first place. Seemed only fair," I told him honestly. "And besides, we were only in it to get that." I pointed to the glowing Time Wish that was now floating just above our heads.

"Yes children," Time Baby said, rubbing his eyes tiredly. "What is it you want for your Time Wish?" I'll admit, right there I was about to tell them everything and just get it over with, but Willow spoke up before me.

"Thank you, but we did not win the Wish for us," she told him, which was probably the better thing to do anyway. It was Soos' life. He should get to make the decision.

"If not you, then who?" Time Baby questioned. "Who is worthy to receive such power?"

It actually took less time than I had thought it would to explain everything and get some of our questions answered. Blendin even gave us something that looked kind of like a Sonic Screwdriver. He explained that should we ever need his help or the assistance of the Future in general, all we had to do was activate the machine and it would automatically alert Time Baby and his army that something was wrong and that they would come ASATP (As Soon As Time Permits).

Once everything calmed down, Blendin escorted us back to the past, making us appear in the middle of the Laser Tag arena, Soos staring at us in shock. "Dudes?" He questioned, the three of us running (as best as we could) up to him and tackling him with hugs, talking over each other to explain everything.

"The point is," I said when we realized we weren't making any sense. "Soos, we have a way to fix your birthday."

"How do you… why did… but you… HUH?" He stammered. Blendin stepped forward, tapping a few buttons on his watch, the glowing Time Wish appearing in midair.

"The kids won a Time Wish for you," he explained calmly, it clear that he had done a lot of this before. "It gives the wisher the ability to alter the timeline in any way they choose."

"But what about all the Butterfly Effect stuff?" Soos questioned, making an effort to stay far away from the orb.

"Don't worry about that," Blendin assured him, taking a step back, leaving the orb floating right in front of Soos' face. Soos glanced at us, clearly asking for more information, not that I blamed him. _I_ didn't even understand half of what was going on.

"We won that to give you the chance to see your dad, but ultimately the choice is yours," Dipper told him. At the mention of his dad, Soos went pale and unconsciously reached into his back pocket.

"You mean I can see my dad just by touching this thing?" He questioned, pulling out the ten-year-old postcard from New Orleans. He glanced at the three of us, and suddenly I was aware of how bad we must look. "And you dudes battled futuristic stuff and time itself just to get this for me?"

"You would have done the same for us," I reminded him. He nodded and tucked the postcard back in his pocket, coming to a decision.

"Alright," he said, reaching out. "Here goes nothing." His hand hit the Time Wish, and everything went white.

I wasn't sure what I was expecting to happen, but I did not expect to feel like we were Regenerating. It was like a fire had lit in my chest and was slowly spreading outward. When the fire died, I felt better than I had in weeks. We were completely cleaned up, bruises, cuts and scrapes all gone, like nothing had ever happened. Even the small pain I had in my wrist since the Bunker incident was gone.

"Bam! I fixed you up! Enjoy dudes!" Soos told us happily, which didn't make ANY sense.

"What about meeting your dad?" I asked him. He just smiled and held out the postcard.

"Birthdays are supposed to be spent with the people who care about you," he told us, looking at the card in disgust. "But you know what? My dad sent me the same postcard for years and didn't even care enough to visit or even call me once, let alone fight a futuristic warrior battle like you dudes. I've been being ridiculous this whole time. Whoever my dad was, wherever he is, he can take a hike! You dudes are my family now, and I can't ask for a better one." He bent down and grabbed all three of us in one giant group hug. "Thanks for giving me the best birthday ever."

"And that's why you don't have to worry about the Butterfly Effect," Blendin said happily, smiling at us. "Although you should have been able to get something else."

"Oh yeah!" Soos smiled and pulled a slice of pizza out of his pocket. "I wished for this slice of infinite pizza." He took a bite off the point and swallowed, the pizza regenerating to how it was before. "And it can do that for infinity."

"That's a good time wish," Blendin said, taking a step back and hitting a few buttons on his watch. "Well I have to get back. Kids, thanks again for everything, and if you ever need help, you know what to do. Carpe diem," he told us, and disappeared.

"There's still ten minutes before Laser Tag closes," Soos told us, tucking his pizza back into his pocket. "You dudes wanna play?"

"Of course!" "Duh!" "Obviously!" We told him, heading back to the arena. It was so much fun, even if it wasn't much. And the best part was that as we left, sitting in the trashcan was the postcard from ten years ago, crumbled up, no longer important. Like Blendin said, Carpe diem. Sometimes you have to forget about and move on from the past in order to have a better future.


	28. Northwest Mansion Mystery

**Sorry I'm a little late; we had to go out of town for a few days, and didn't get back until a few minutes ago, but here we are! Things are really going to start getting crazy now and I've already wasted too much time, so let's get on with the shout-outs!**

 **gamelover41592- Thanks for your review! It was not the best episode, but it was definitely one of my favorites.**

 **Female Fantasy Freak- While it wasn't the best episode, it was definitely one of the most emotional, and it was one of my favorites. And I'm glad you liked the Baldwin line. And the whole infinity-die thing was one of the stupidest things EVER! I mean, if it was banned in bleventeen dimensions, there must have been a good reason for it, right? And then he puts it in something a two-year-old would put crayons in?! I mean, SERIOUSLY?! YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO BE A GENIUS!**

 **Vulcran- Thanks for your review!**

 **Kirk- Thanks for your reviews!**

 **Disclaimer: I only own Willow Pines and anything you don't recognize. Everything else belongs to Disney and Alex Hirsch.**

* * *

 **Pacifica's POV (August 4th)**

"You look stunning Miss," Sebastian told me, taking my arm and leading me down the steps in the foyer. The past week had been a blur of dress fittings, menu/catering meetings, guest list adjustments, and a bunch of other activities I was getting used to being a part of. Ever since I had turned ten, my parents had been giving me more responsibilities to 'Train me to uphold the family name' or something.

But this time of the year it was even more important than the normal parties. Tomorrow was the annual Northwest Fest, and a good two hundred some people from all around the world were coming. But this year was different. It was the 150th party, which meant that if anything was going to happen, it was going to happen soon, which is why everyone was on high alert for anything out of the ordinary. But Sebastian leading me down the main steps, that was nothing abnormal.

"Thank you, Sebastian," I told him, stepping onto the main floor, looking at the buffet tables that had been set up, food dishes already being placed on them at the direction of Charlie, our head chef. My parents would normally just refer to them as 'The Butler' or 'The Chef' (and not always with capitals either), but I had made it a point to learn the names of all the servants (I really hate using that word) my parents had working for them.

"Put the oyster fork at an angle!" I heard my dad snap from the dining room. I walked to the doorway, watching as my parents went over the guest list for probably the billionth time.

"Pacifica!" My mother yelled when she noticed me. I grabbed the sides of the gown I had put on and curtsied as she stormed up to me. "We told you the theme is sea foam green not lake foam green! Go change!"

"But I kind of like this one," I told them, glancing down at myself. It was simple, something there hadn't been a lot of in my life recently. It was mostly one shade of green, darker wave-like patterns on the hem and a bow at the waist. This was at least the twentieth gown my parents had rejected, and I was getting fed up about it. "You said I could pick my own gown, but then you-"

"Don't talk back to your mother, Pacifica," dad told me, ringing the bell he kept in his pocket. The last thing I needed the night before the party was to deal with the consequences of not listening when the bell was rung, so I stayed quiet and was about to head back upstairs when the ground began to shake.

"Dad, is this it?!" I yelled at him as the cooks and waiters panicked and started running around, diving under tables or ducking back into the kitchen.

"It's happening!" dad yelled, plates and silverware beginning to float into the air, flying at all of us. The three of us hid under a table, watching as the utensils bounced around the room, plates shattering and hitting the floor.

"This is a disaster!" mom yelled, pulling the tablecloth down as a newspaper fell in front of us. "The party is in just twenty-four hours!"

"Surely there is someone who can handle this sort of nonsense!" dad responded. I glanced down at the newspaper that had landed next to us, the answer making itself obvious.

"I think I know someone who could help," I told them holding up the newspaper. There was a picture of the old Clock Tower on the front page, the police holding onto each other in fear while something that looked like a giant bat was trying to attack them. I really hated having to go to them, but desperate times call for desperate measures, and if they could hold back a giant bat, then I don't think our little situation would be a problem for the Pines.

 **Dipper's POV (August 5th)**

"Honestly dudes, how do I look?" Soos asked us, spinning around, giving Willow and I a look at him. His cousin's engagement party was today, and Soos was paranoid after the last date he and Melody had, so he was trying to make sure everything went right. He was wearing black pants and black dress shoes, with a dark green button-down and black bow-tie.

"Loose the bow tie," Willow told him. He nodded and tore the tie off, undoing the top button of his shirt. "That's better."

"Thanks dudes," he breathed, walking over to the table and grabbing his keys off it. "I'm gonna go. I'll see you dudes tomorrow."

"Bye Soos!" We called after him, the door shutting behind him. We turned back to the TV, where a Ghost Harassers marathon was starting.

"Get comfortable," I said, half to myself. "We're not gonna move till sunset."

" _We interrupt this program to bring you breaking news!"_ Toby Determined's voice interrupted our show. My first thought was something with President Obama or Mitt Romney because they were the only thing everyone had been talking about since the summer started. But when Mabel and her friends barged in and started staring, wide-eyed, at the TV, I knew it was something else.

" _Tonight's the night, but I've been our here for days!"_ Toby said, his news camera zooming out and showing him looking like he had been living in the woods for a week. _"The Northwest family's annual high-society-shindig-ball-soiree is here! And even though common folk aren't let in, that isn't stopping us from camping out for a peek at the fanciness!"_

"OOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHH!" Mabel and her friend gasped as I mentally face palmed. I had never understood those big fancy parties rich people had. The fanciest thing any of us had ever been to was our uncle's wedding, and for that I pretty much just wore the same things Soos had on. It's like, 'Your rich, we get it, don't rub it in people's faces,' but the girls, and even Wills a bit, were into this stuff, although Willow was mostly interested in the food. I think it was just a guy thing.

"Seriously, can someone please explain why people care about this?" I asked. Mabel and her friends all looked at me like I had grown a second head or something.

"It's only the best party of all time!" Grenda told me, getting a dazed look in her eyes. "Rich food, richer boys!" Go figure it's about the boys for them.

"I heard each gift basket has a live quail inside!" Mabel added, something else I didn't get. Why did rich people think animals made a good present for gift bags?

"Give me your life, Pacifica," Candy said longingly, staring at the TV screen. I sighed and looked at Willow, the only person left who would give me a real answer.

"I'm pretty sure the event itself is just to catch up with international politics," she explained, which made sense. "And I think the party is just to get publicity for the family. It wouldn't be a big deal if they just said they were having a big meeting."

"I get that much," I told them, just as someone knocked on the door. "What I don't get is why everyone in town wants to go to the party," I said, walking backwards to the door. "I mean, the Northwest family is the worst. And that's not jealousy talking. I'd say that to their face." I turned around and opened the door.

"I need your help," Pacifica, wearing sunglasses, a trench coat and head scarf, told me.

"You're the worst," I told her immediately, slamming the door in her face and turning back around to face the girls, who were staring at me like I had kicked a puppy or something. "See?" I told them, Pacifica knocking on the door again. Willow stood up and walked past me, opening the door.

"What's up?" She asked, getting down to business. I turned around and listened to the problem, even though the chances of us helping were slim.

"There's something haunting Northwest Manor, and if you guys don't help me, the party will be ruined," she explained, glancing around as if she was scared of being seen.

"Why should we help you?" I asked her, leaning against the doorframe. "All you've ever done is try to humiliate us."

"I came here, didn't I?" She asked, which, I hated to admit, was a good point. None of her family would ever come to us for help, so the fact that they did said it all. It also meant that people in town were finally taking us seriously, not that that was something I was surprised about. We had already figured out that since people in town would start noticing the weirdness now that the Society was gone, people would start coming to us for help if there was something that needed to be dealt with. "Just name your price, okay?"

"Hey Pacifica!" Mabel yelled excitedly, grabbing mine and Willow's shoulders and pulling us out of earshot. "Guys, if you help Pacifica, you can get us into the greatest party of all time!"

"We're talking about the same girl you had a mini-golf battle with and who embarrassed you in public every time she could since we've been here," Wills reminded her.

"But it's the best party ever!" Mabel pleaded, getting those big sad puppy eyes that you couldn't say no to.

"Fine!" I snapped, heading back over to where Pacifica was waiting for us. "We'll bust your ghost, but we need three tickets to the party for Mabel and her friends." Pacifica growled and reached into her purse, pulling out three gold invitations and handing them to me.

"You guys are lucky we're desperate," she muttered. From behind us, the girls yelled excitedly and started chanting DESPERATE over and over.

"Grenda, get the glue gun!" Mabel yelled. "We're making dresses!"

"I'm already regretting coming to you," Pacifica muttered, walking off the porch and back to the limo that was waiting for her.

 **GFF**

"Welcome to Northwest Manor dorks," Pacifica told us, the large double doors opening wide, revealing the entrance hall of the mansion. I'll admit, it was a nice place. Like most houses in this town, it was made of wood, but there were stone accents on the walls. Large marble steps led to the upper levels, and above the staircase was a fireplace, and above that, a picture of Pacifica and her parents. Beside the stairs on one side was a cider fountain and on the other side an ice sculpture. Long buffet tables ran parallel to the walls, waiters and servants running around, filling them with food. And everyone was dressed up fancy.

As a dude, I have to say, Pacifica didn't look half bad in the gown she had picked out. However, I've always thought blondes look good in purple, so I was kind of biased on that one. The dress was a calm purple color with black fluff on the hem and at the shoulders. She at least looked better than Mabel did.

The dress she had made looked like she had skinned a flamingo. It was a bright pink with feathers and roses. In her hair was a weird pink wire-like thing that made it look like she had stuck a chair back on her head.

Candy's dress looked fine. It was mint green with a dark green bow around the waist. But her hair was sticking up straight in a ponytail, so it looked like she should have been upside-down. Grenda was the most simple of the three. Her dress was gold satin and her hair was pulled back in the back, swooping in the front.

But out of all the girls, Willow looked the best, and she despises dresses. She had one back home that was forest green with black lace on the shoulders, but when we packed, she hadn't brought it, figuring she wouldn't need one living in the woods for three months. She was originally just going to go in her normal clothes, like I did, but Mabel had insisted on making her one, and even though the gown she had made for herself had come out weird, she had done a damn good job on Willow's.

Because we were fighting ghosts, all our weapons were in a backpack, which meant that there was nothing to take away from the look the dress gave her. The best way to describe it was angelic. It was all white satin, the back stopping at her calves, the front just above her knees, both to avoid tripping hazards in case things got crazy. The front was heart-cut, an inch of gold lace on the shoulders because she refused to wear anything without sleeves.

Despite the angelic look of the dress itself, there were still things that only Wills would do for such a fancy party. For starters, her shoes. Instead of wearing heels, or even flats, she had put on combat boots. For most people, that would have taken away from her appearance, but in her case, it helped. Her hair was pulled back in a fishtail braid slung over her shoulder, held together with a gold silk ribbon tied at the top and bottom of the braid, wrapping around the braid itself. All in all, she looked like a rebellious angel.

"Try not to break anything!" Pacifica called as Mabel and her friends took off, grabbing and touching anything they could.

"Pacifica!" Preston Northwest called, walking up to us. "Thank you for coming to deal with our little… situation. Hopefully you'll be able to have everything under control by the time the guests arrive in an hour."

"We'll do our best," I assured him.

"Splendid! Pacifica, find the young man a suit to wear, then show our guests to the problem room and-" A loud crash, followed by a shout, came from the direction I thought the kitchen would be. "Excuse me. Pacifica can handle any questions you have." With that, he spun on his heel and walked towards the kitchen.

"I told you that you had to dress up a bit," Wills told me, snagging a chocolate covered strawberry off the end of a buffet table.

"Last time I checked, you didn't want to dress up either," I reminded her. She just shrugged and started eating her strawberry as Pacifica led us through the mansion. She took us upstairs and to a huge room that looked like the wardrobe area of a theater, clothes in shelves and on hangars lining both walls. On the far side of the room was a curtain that most likely led to a fitting room. And on one wall were pictures of the Northwest family doing different good things: Giving bags of apples to people, making a deal with the Native American's, and, of course, Nathaniel Northwest, his foot on top of a rock in a heroic pose.

"Try this one on," Pacifica said, handing me a tuxedo and shoving me behind the curtain. I sighed and started changing while the girls talked to each other.

"So, do you know why the ghost is haunting you guys?" Willow asked. "Ghosts always have a reason for haunting somewhere."

"No idea," Pacifica told her as I did up the top button of the undershirt, effectively cutting off my windpipe. But it had to be like that for the bowtie that came with the tux.

"Where's the library?" Willow questioned just as I gave up on figuring out my bowtie. I walked out of the fitting room, trying to prevent the collar from choking me.

"It feels like this collar is strangling me," I said, Pacifica walking up and grabbing my bowtie. "Who do you think you're impressing with this stuff?"

"Everyone," she told me, tying my tie in five seconds and stepping back to look at me. "It'll do, but you clearly don't understand how the upper class works. High standards are what make the Northwest family great."

"I thought it was lying about founding the town," I commented, flicking the tassel of one of the pictures.

"Don't touch that!" She snapped at me, throwing a pair of dress shoes at my feet. "Put those on and meet us in the hall." She and Willow left, and I slipped my feet into the dress shoes before following them. Pacifica was pointing down the hallway, Willow looking in the direction she was pointing.

"Okay," Willow said, turning to me. "You can handle the ghost on your own, right?"

"Probably, yeah," I told her. In the limo on the way here, we had gone over everything we knew about the ghost. From what we could figure, it wasn't a major apparition, and one of us should be able to handle it easily.

"Good. So, I'm gonna head to the library and try to figure out why the ghost is here while you guys deal with it. I'll let you know if I find anything." She took off down the hall, away from the direction the library was in.

"Where's she…?" Pacifica asked me. I sighed, face-palming and laughing to myself.

"Probably off to steal a tray of those chocolate strawberries," I told her, following her down another hall. "Seriously, she's practically addicted to those things."

"So you guys have dealt with ghosts before, right?" She asked.

"Enough to know that that ghost that's haunting you guys is most likely a Category 1, the least dangerous on the scale," I told her, showing her the Journal page on Category 1 ghosts, although she didn't look impressed.

"So what? Are you going to bore him back into the afterlife by reading from that book?" She asked, opening a door. The room was lit only by a fireplace and the light spilling in from the hallway. The walls were covered in animal heads, except for one picture of a vaguely familiar lumberjack, axe slung over his shoulder, above the fireplace. "This is the main room where it's been happening," she told me, the two of us walking in, closing the door behind us.

"Don't worry," I assured her, pulling a glass bottle of water out of my backpack. "I just gotta splash this sucker with some anointed water and he should be out of your probably-fake blonde hair."

"What was that about my hair?!" She snapped at me, a buzzing sound coming from my backpack.

"Ssshhh," I told her, pulling out the EMF detector. I held it out in front of me, playing a game of hot-cold, the signal getting stronger and weaker, but eventually leading me to the picture of the lumberjack. Just then, the detector went dead. "Come on, stupid thing," I muttered, glancing down, hitting the sides of it, turning it back on. I glanced back up at the picture and froze, for the lumberjack that was there had now disappeared.

"AAAHHH!" Pacifica yelled. I whirled around and saw a red pool of liquid on the floor by her feet. We looked up and saw that the animal heads along the wall had all started bleeding from the eyes and mouth, dripping on the floor. The flames in the fireplace surged upwards and out, smoke beginning to fill the room.

"ANCIENT SINS! ANCIENT SINS! ANCIENT SINS!" The animal heads started chanting, their eyes glowing red. Pacifica and I gathered together in the center of the room as books, furniture, weapons, pretty much anything in the room not nailed down started floating around in a tornado, the animal heads still chanting and dripping blood.

"Dipper! What is this?!" Pacifica yelled at me, grabbing my arm, her nails digging into my skin.

"It's a category 10," I realized, just as the bottle of anointed water I had in my hand exploded, water and shards of glass going everywhere. Pacifica let go of my arm and grabbed my collar, shaking me back and forth.

"What do we do, what do we do?!" She yelled, border line on having a panic attack.

"Don't worry," I told her, more to keep her calm than anything. "It can't get worse than this!"

You would think I would have learned by now to never say something like that, but it was too late. "ANICENT BLOOD AND BLACKENED SKIES! THE FOREST DARK SHALL ONCE MORE RISE!" The animal heads said, the flames in the fireplace getting bigger again. If that wasn't enough, a skeletal hand reached out of the flames, hitting the floor hard and leaving distinguished scorch marks. I grabbed Pacifica's arm and dragged her under the pool table as the rest of the skeleton came out of the fireplace.

A body started to take shape around the skeleton, revealing it to be the lumberjack from the picture, at least ten feet tall, his beard made of blue-white fire, an axe stuck in his skull, one of his eyes missing. "I smell… A NORTHWEST!" The ghost boomed, making a double-headed battle-ax appear in his hand. He struck it into the floor, dragging it behind him as he started walking around the room, saying, "Come out, come out wherever you are!"

"Hurry! Read through your dumb book already!" Pacifica whisper-yelled to me as I started flipping through the Journal.

"I'm looking," I whispered back, getting to the right page and pulling the black-light out of my backpack. "And it's not dumb, okay? This book is gonna save our lives! Let's see… advice." I turned the black-light on, revealing the helpful advice of PRAY FOR MERCY! "Seriously?!" I questioned, just loud enough for the ghost to hear.

"YOU SHOULDN'T HAVE COME HERE!" He boomed, the table floating up and away from us. He brought his axe up and down, trying to hit us, but we rolled out of the way just in time, the axe imbedding itself in the floor. We ran out into the hallway, Pacifica leading me through a maze of halls that all looked pretty much the same to me, the ghost right behind us, all while I was frantically flipping through the Journal to try and figure out a way to defeat the ghost.

"Hurry! Through the garden!" Pacifica yelled, grabbing my arm and pulling me outside. Not watching where I was going, I got a face full of green feathers, almost slipping in the mud. Pacifica grabbed my arm and pulled me upright, us thankfully leaving the garden behind.

"WHY DO YOU HAVE PEACOCKS?!" I yelled at her, glancing behind me quickly. The ghost wasn't right behind us, thank God, so that at least meant we had a bit of time, although it wouldn't be much. I turned back around and caught up to Pacifica, who was doing surprisingly well in fancy heels (which were now muddy) and a party gown.

"Have you found anything?" She yelled back at me, pulling me down one of the longest hallways in the mansion. I buried my head back in the Journal, flipping back and forth on the ghost pages. I knew there was something in here on haunted paintings. I just had to-

"Got it!" I yelled excitedly, finally finding the correct page. "Haunted paintings can only be trapped in a silver mirror." I glanced back up, scanning the walls of the hallway for a silver mirror. At the end of the hall was a white room, and on the far wall above the couch was a large silver mirror. I put on a bit more speed, but just before I entered the room, Pacifica grabbed me and literally pulled me back, the two of us crashing into each other.

"You can't!" She told me, righting herself. "This room has my parents favorite carpet pattern! They'll lose it if we track mud in there!" Okay, SERIOUSLY?! I mean, that was just excessive. I tried to shoulder my way past her, but she held me back. She was stronger than she looks, I'll give her that much.

"We don't have time for this!" I yelled at her, trying to use the Journal as a weapon. "Let me through!"

"My parents will kill me!" She yelled, grabbing the Journal, the two or us having a mini tug-of-war over it. I understood people being respectful of their parents, but maybe it was something in her eyes (which were a blue so dark they were almost black) that I saw that made me realize there was something more going on here.

"Why are you so afraid of your parents?" I asked her, trying to sound calm, but I think it came off more like yelling than I would have preferred.

"You wouldn't understand," she told me, pulling _hard_ on the Journal, stepping back and tripping over the hem of her dress. She grabbed my shoulders to try and balance, but instead the two of us fell, her arms wrapping around my neck while I tried to catch the wall, or the picture that was on said wall. But just as my hands touched the picture, the canvas gave way, the two of us falling through the wall, me grabbing her just in time to spin her around so I wouldn't land on her.

"Don't move," I whispered when I felt her try to stand up, hearing the ghost calling for us from the hallway. Believe it or not, as the ghost's voice got quieter, I was wishing that ghosts had footsteps. I mean, if they did, we would know for sure when it left. But because they didn't, voice was all we had to go on, so as soon as the ghost's voice disappeared, I stood up and helped Pacifica to her feet.

"What is this place?" I asked, pulling a flashlight out of my backpack and shining it around the room. It looked like it was supposed to be an attic. There were a lot of pictures covered with sheets, a thick layer of dust on everything.

"I don't even know where this room is," she admitted, dusting off and walking over to some pictures.

"Hopefully the ghost doesn't either," I said hopefully, looking at a table that had some old business letters on it. I sighed and turned around, about to sit on the table when I saw it. You know those body-sized things with rods on one side that make imprints of your body? It looked like that, but it was coming from one of the sheet that was over a picture, and Pacifica was right in front of it.

"Pacifica! WATCH OUT!" I yelled, dropping the flashlight and running towards her as she turned around, the ghost coming out from behind the sheet.

"YOUR FATE IS SEALED!" The ghost yelled, chasing Pacifica to the other side of the room, knocking over a box of old silverware. I was about to run after them when I saw it. I bent down and picked it up, running over to where Pacifica was leaning against a thick red velvet curtain that went all the way to the floor, the ghost in front of her, ax brought back and ready to strike.

"PREPARE TO DIE, NORTHWEEE-" Just as the ax was about to find its mark, I stepped in front of the ghost, holding the silver mirror I had found out in front of me. Everything went white, the mirror got heavy, I got thrown back into Pacifica, taking her down with me, the two of us getting tangled in the curtain and crashing through a window, rolling down a hill and into the garden, somehow not getting hurt.

"You okay?" I asked her breathlessly, pulling her to her feet.

"I-I think so," she said, staring up at the now broken window in shock. "Did- did you get him?" I looked around for the mirror and saw it at the base of a tree, somehow still in one piece. The two of us ran over and I picked it up, the surface going white before revealing the ghost yelling and pounding furiously on the glass.

"YES!" "We did it!" The two of us celebrated, hugging each other. I hadn't noticed it before, but unlike most of the people in town, who smelled like the forest and maple syrup, she smelled like champagne and flowers. It wasn't bad, just different. Then I realized what I was thinking, apparently at the same time Pacifica realized what she was doing, because she pulled back quickly, shoving me off her.

"Can I pay you to pretend that never happened?" She asked, holding out a twenty, even though I hadn't been planning on telling anyone anyway. Before we could do anything, a voice called from the other end of the garden.

"PACIFICA!" The voice yelled. We turned around and saw Pacifica's parents staring at us and the broken window in shock, the two of them walking up to us, a butler following behind them.

"What on Earth happened here?" Priscilla asked, the butler checking over Pacifica while I explained everything that had happened. It was pretty simple actually. They were mostly just concerned that we got him, not how we did it or the room we had found.

"Well Pacifica, you really found the right man for the job," Preston said once they made sure Pacifica was okay. He snapped his fingers and the butler started shaking my hand.

"We can't thank you enough," Priscilla told me, a beat later saying, "That's enough," the butler dropping his hand from mine.

"Just holding up my end of the deal," I told them, gathering my backpack up and walking out of the garden.

"Wait, leaving already?" Pacifica called after me. "You're at the world's best party dummy."

"I'd love to stay," I told her, actually kind of meaning it, but I still had to exorcise the ghost, something that could take a while, so I wanted to get it done as soon as possible. "But I have a Category 10 ghost to dispose of." I turned around and crashed into one of the stone pillars in the garden, laughing it off as I left.

" _Dipper!"_ A muffled voice said from my backpack. I swung it around and pulled out the walkie talkie.

"Wills, I'm in the garden. I've got the ghost trapped."

" _Don't move!"_ She told me quickly. _"I've got something to show you. Be there soon."_ She turned her end off, so I sat down on a bench that was on the side of the path, waiting for her to show up. When she did, she was clutching an old scroll in her hands, making a visible effort to not crush it in her grip.

"Read this," she said bluntly, grabbing my backpack and looking through it as I unrolled the scroll, reading the words out loud.

"'Beware the Lumberjack curse. _And so I say with final breath, 150 years I'll return from death, and if the gate's still closed to town, Northwest blood will stain the ground!_ '"

"Hey Ghost," Willow said, talking to the mirror. "You have a name?"

"Archibald," he responded, a few pieces clicking in my brain.

"You're Archibald Corduroy!" I yelled, coming up behind Willow so he could see both of us. "Your… what? three? four greats-granddaughter is a friend of ours."

"Not the priority right now," Wills told me, taking the scroll from me and holding it up for the gho- for Archibald to read. "What does this have to do with you?"

"It's a long story," he told us, but I made a keep going gesture, so he began to elaborate. "One-hundred fifty-some years ago, the Northwest's asked us lumber-folk to build them a mansion atop the hill. We were told it would be a service to the town, and that once a year they would throw a grand party and all would share in the bounty. It took years of backbreaking labor and sacrifice, but one hundred and fifty years ago this day, it was finally time for the grand party they promised us. But when the common folk and myself arrived, they refused to let us in. And with the trees gone, the mudslides began. While they partied and laughed, I was swept away by the storm, the very axe I had used to build the mansion burying itself in my skull. And so I said with final breath, one-fifty years I'll return from death, and if the gate's still closed to town, Northwest blood will stain the ground. The curse passed down until this day…"

"Wills, where did you find this?" I asked, a feeling of betrayal sinking into my stomach.

"In a hidden layer of a desk drawer, which wasn't very hidden," she told me, rolling the scroll up and putting the mirror back in my backpack. "Thanks Archibald. We'll be right back." I slung the backpack over my shoulder and the two of us walked up the steps to the house, throwing the doors open.

"NORTHWESTS!" I called, noticing the adults talking to the mayor, who for some reason had a monkey dressed like a waiter in his lap. "You've got some explaining to do!" I yelled, the mayor wheeling himself away as Pacifica came running up.

"You came back!" She said happily, which was the last thing I wanted to hear.

"You lied to us! All of you did!" I yelled, Preston glaring at me.

"How dare you accuse us of-"

"I found this," Willow interrupted him, holding up the scroll. I'll admit, I had kind of been hoping Pacifica wouldn't react to it. But when her face went red and she started staring at the floor, I knew she was involved. "And don't deny you didn't know about this. Archibald told us everything. Why couldn't you have just let the town into the party?"

"Look at who you're talking to," Preston told us, bending down in our faces, gesturing at the party that was going on behind him. "I'm hosting a party for the most powerful people in the world. You think they would come here if they had to rub elbows with your kind?"

"' _Our kind?'"_ Willow repeated furiously. "You mean the kind who work hard to make a living and who can barely spare a cent, but still give back to people who need it more than they do. I'd rather be dirt poor than rich and-"

"And you!" I interrupted her, turning to Pacifica, knowing that Wills would talk for an hour, and people were already starting to stare at us. "You're just as bad as your parents. Another link in the country's worst chain!" Was that cruel? Yes, it was, but she deserved it.

"I'm sorry! They made me!" She yelled, like I believed her. "I should've told you but-" Preston rang a small hand bell, and Pacifica stopped talking, almost like that bell had power over her, but that was ridiculous.

"Enjoy the party," Preston told us, tucking the bell back in his jacket. "It's the last time you and your kind will ever come." Furious, we spun on our heels and marched out of the mansion, walking to the back and down the path to where a tree stump was sitting. I slung the backpack off my shoulder and the two of us started setting up for the exorcism, muttering about the Northwests the entire time.

"Please let me get my vengeance on the Northwests!" Archibald pleaded us when we were finally ready. "You hate them as much as I."

"Believe me, I would," I told him, only slightly angry at myself for wanting to do it. "But our sister and her friends are in there, and no offense, but you seem a little unstable."

"I understand," Archibald said sadly, resigning himself to his fate. "But before you banish my soul, would you be so kind as to allow this tired lumber eye to gaze upon the trees one final time?" Wills and I exchanged glances and she shrugged.

"I guess," I decided, holding the mirror up to face the forest. "Go nuts man."

Note to self; NEVER tell a ghost to go nuts, because he really will. Before I knew what was happening, the mirror got burning hot, falling out of my hand and shattering on the ground. From the shards, wisps of what I guess was his soul came out and gathered in the air, forming into the shape of him. He floated towards the mansion, the candles we had set up going out, the two of us diving to the ground.

"YES! VENGENCE!" Archibald yelled from above the mansion, lightning striking somewhere far away, the storm that had been building all day finally breaking and breaking hard. Willow and I looked at each other through the raindrops that were quickly soaking through everything and went into fight mode. In less than ten seconds, we had gathered up everything we had been using for the exorcism in my backpack and were running up the path back to the mansion. We ran up the steps and threw the doors open, freezing in the doorway as we processed what was going on.

In short, it was chaos. Vines had started climbing the walls and wrapping themselves around anything they could. In addition, tree trunks had grown through the floor and were reaching towards and through the ceiling. The taxidermy animals that had been on the walls were now alive, their eyes glowing white, and were chasing the people that were still moving around the room, some birds even lifting people into the air. But the people who were not being chased were also running around in a panic, stopping mid-stride when Archi- when the ghost hit them with rays of what looked like lightning. When the blasts hit people, they began turning into wood, starting at the legs and working the way up, freezing their faces with a look of pure terror. It was… I don't know what it was, and I don't know how long we stood there, but Mabel ran up to us and shook our shoulders.

"I don't care what happened or whose fault it is, just tell me what we have to do to get rid of ghosty fire-face," she told us firmly, snapping us out of our trance.

"Dip, how'd you catch him last time?" Wills asked, stepping onto the porch and pulling the doors shut before rifling through our backpack.

"Last time I just stood in front of him with the mirror," I explained, staring up at the ghost who was floating just under the ceiling. "But he's going to be ready for that again."

"Well, why is he doing this?" Mabel asked, bending down next to Willow, who had pulled the scroll out of the backpack. "Don't ghosts always have a reason or something?"

"He wants revenge on the Northwests, but the curse says that he would return if the town had never been let into the party."

"So we open the gates and let the town in?" Mabel asked, the ghost laughing.

"Just one way to change your fates!" He yelled, whether it was at us or just in general, I didn't know, but he was telling us how to end this, so whatever. "A Northwest must open the party gates!"

"A Northwest?" We repeated, glancing at each other, the answer coming to us at the same time. "Pacifica!"

"Okay, you go find her, we'll deal with fire face," Willow told me, she and Mabel running across the room, me running down a hallway. At the end, I turned left, heading down another hall and hanging a right, quickly getting lost. There were dozens of hallways and they all looked the same to me. Just as I was getting really worried about finding Pacifica, I rounded a corner and saw at the end of the hallway the white room from earlier with the silver mirror on the far wall. And light was reflecting off the floor from the direction the room we had found was.

"PACIFICA!" I yelled, ducking through the picture into the room. Pacifica was sitting against the back wall, turning the flashlight I had dropped earlier on and off, her legs tucked under her, her head down and eyes closed. "Pacifica, the ghost escaped and is turning everyone into wood, and he just started rhyming. He said the only way he'll leave is if a Northwest opens the main gate, so come on, I need your help!" I rambled, grabbing her hand and standing up. I turned around and tried to pull her up, but she pulled back, sending me to the ground. I turned over and looked at her. "Pacifica?"

She looked up and I finally saw her. Her eyes were red and swollen, the area around them puffy. Under her eyes were little black lines that smeared to the sides about halfway down her face. "Pacifica, what's wrong?"

"You wanna know why this room was locked up?" She asked in a shaky voice, turning the flashlight on and aiming it across the room. The beam illuminated three pictures, similar to the ones I had seen earlier in the dressing room, but there were important differences. The image of a Northwest making a deal with a Native American tribe now showed the Northwest with his fingers crossed behind his back. The picture of a Northwest giving apples to people was replaced with a bandit holding sacks of money. And the iconic photo of Nathaniel Northwest now showed that the rock or stump he always had one foot on was really a pile of dead animals.

"These are what I found in here," Pacifica continued quietly. "A painted record of every horrible thing my family's ever done. Lying, cheating, and then there's me." She turned the flashlight towards her, making her eyes glitter before turning it off. "I lied to you just because I'm too afraid to talk back to my stupid PARENTS!" She took her earrings off and threw them to the side, bouncing them against a picture of her parents, sending them rattling to the floor. She froze for a second, then turned to look at me, her eyes watering and lip quivering just enough to be noticeable. "You were right about me. I am just another link in the world's worst chain," she admitted, her voice cracking.

"Technically, I only said country," I joked lightly, causing her to glare at me. "Sorry," I told her, sitting beside her on the wall, taking her hands and holding them in mine. "Seriously though, I'm sorry about what I said earlier. But you know what? Just because you're your parents' daughter doesn't mean you have to be like them."

"Y-you really mean that?" She asked shakily, wiping her eyes. I nodded, smiling at her, glad to see she was feeling better.

"I do. It's not too late."

"IT'S TOO LATE!" A voice called, echoing around the mansion. Without thinking, I pulled Pacifica to her feet and the two of us ran out of the room, her pulling me down hallways, getting us to the main room quickly. We froze when we saw what had happened, her hand falling out of mine.

Imagine the mansion from Jumanji after the plants took over times bleventillion plus statues of people looking like they had been exposed to Medusa, who turned people to wood instead of stone, and you'll have a pretty good idea of what it looked like. The ghost was floating about a foot above the ground of the landing of the stairs, staring into the fire, his arms crossed behind his back. I looked around for Willow or Mabel or anybody who was not wood, but there was nobody. Then I saw my sisters.

Mabel was bending down, one hand holding the backpack open, the other reaching inside to pull something out. I couldn't tell from here whether the stuff inside the backpack was also wood, but since the backpack was, and Mabel was in the middle of the room, pretty much everything in there would be useless anyway. And the only thing I needed was on the ground by Willow's feet.

It was clear Willow had been giving the ghost a lot of problems. Vines were wrapped around her legs, going up to her waist, most of them half-torn away. She was frozen as wood, glaring daggers at the ceiling, which must have been where the ghost was when he hit her. One arm was out, like she had been trying to throw something across the room, but that something hadn't gotten far. It was on the ground, maybe two feet away from her, the gold hand sparkling in the firelight.

"Dipper! WAIT!" Pacifica called after me, but I was already moving. I ran past Wills, scooping the Journal up along with a silver serving plate and jumping onto a table.

"Alright ghost!" I yelled, holding the plate up in one hand and the Journal in another. "Prepare to get-" I'm an idiot sometimes. I STUPIDLY looked at the Journal, taking my focus away from the ghost. Thank God, instinct kicked in and I was able to bring the plate in front of me just in time to block the energy beam he fired at me. Unfortunately, I had to use two hands to hold it, meaning the Journal fell out of one, hitting the floor and opening to a page about the Bunker.

Time seemed to slow down and speed up all at once. I threw the plate towards the ghost, but it only made it to the steps. As I threw, I jumped off the table. But before my feet hit the floor, another energy beam hit me in the chest, sending me flying back. The hit itself didn't hurt, but hitting the floor did. I tried to stand up as soon as I could, and I was barely able to, but it was already too late. My legs were wood from the knees down, and it was quickly moving up my body.

I started screaming for help as it moved up. I glanced behind me towards where Pacifica was standing, staring at me in shock. I tried to reach out to her, but I think it looked more like I was reaching up than out. Somewhere, a grandfather clock started ringing, then everything went black.

 **Pacifica's POV (August 6th)**

 _This is all my fault!_ I mentally yelled at myself over and over as I watched Dipper get frozen, his mouth open in a scream, both hands above his head, one higher than the other. Last time I had to deal with the craziness of this town (which I had just started noticing) was when Mabel and I had fought those little golf-creatures, there had been an easy way to deal with them, but this was just… I was frozen.

"A forest of death, a lesson learned," the ghost yelled, turning around and facing the fire again. "And now the Northwest manor will BURN!" As he said the last word, he spread out his arms, causing the flames to grow as high as the ceiling, the picture of me and my parents above the fireplace burning away. I think that was what got me out of it, because before I knew what I was doing, I was walking out onto the main floor.

"HEY UGLY!" I called, stopping in front of the door, the lever that would open the main gate on the wall to my left. The ghost turned around and glared at me, which was weird because of the whole one-eye thing. "You want me to let in the townsfolk? Cause I'll do it! Just change everyone back!"

"You wish to prove yourself?" He asked me, lowering the flames back into the fireplace and pointing at the lever. "Pull that lever and open the grand gate to the town! FULFILL YOUR ANCESTORS' PROMISE!" Without turning around, I started to reach back. My hand touched the lever, then-

"Pacifica Elise Northwest!" dad said, opening the door of the panic room, his, mom's, and Sebastian's heads appearing between the door and the floor. "Stop this instant! We can't let the town see us like this! We have a reputation to uphold! Now, come into the panic room. There's enough mini-sandwiches and oxygen to last you, me, and a butler for a week. _We'll eat the butler!_ "

"The butler has a name," I told him, tightening my grip on the lever as he reached into his coat pocket.

"You dare disobey us?" He asked, ringing that STUPID bell. I really hated having to deal with the consequences when I didn't listen to the bell, but then I saw Dipper. He had tried to fight the ghost on his own to save me, my family, his sisters, and everyone at the party, even though we had lied to him. After he yelled at me, I honestly had no idea what I was going to do. I probably would have stayed in that room all night had he not come and found me. And when I saw him and he had apologized, I could tell he meant what he had told me. I'm not my parents. I could still change. And it would start now.

"Our family name is broken, and I'm gonna fix it!" I yelled, stamping down on the marble floor hard enough to break my heel, pulling the lever down, opening the main gates. The ghost gasped and floated over to a window, placing his hands on the glass and looking out as my parents and Sebastian climbed out of the panic room, my dad glaring at me furiously, but I didn't care. I had done the right thing, and it felt great.

"Yes, it's happening!" The gho- Archibald said from the window. "My heart, once as hard as oak, now grows soft like more of a birch, or something." He turned around and made a large, sweeping gesture around the foyer, the vines and trees disappearing, the people unfreezing and moving around in a daze, the taxidermy animals going back to where they were supposed to be, even the tables and chairs rearranging themselves. Archibald smiled and floated down towards me. "Pacifica, you are not like the other Northwests. I feel… lumber. Justice…" He floated towards the ceiling, fizzling out of existence, the ax that had been in his head falling and sticking in the floor. I let out the breath I hadn't realized I had been holding and started looking around the foyer when I felt it.

It wasn't much, but living on the west coast (and the adrenaline still flowing through me) made it easy for you to know when the ground was shaking, and even though it was barely noticeable, I could feel it. I turned around just as the doors exploded, people pouring in. Everyone started running around, shoving past me in the chaos. It was pretty funny to watch, all the rich people acting like it was the plague (my dad was especially funny, grabbing random people like a mother cat picking up her kittens) and the common- and the town not caring about anything. I smiled and looked down at myself, thinking that I should really go put on one of the dresses my parents had turned down when someone crashed into me, picking me up and spinning me around once before putting me down.

"You did that, and then you, and the ghost, and oh my God, we're alive!" Dipper choked out, talking over himself. I couldn't help it; I started cracking up, and it felt so good to laugh. After a few seconds, Dipper joined me, and soon the two of us were practically on the ground laughing, and we couldn't stop. And whenever one of us calmed down and looked at the other, it happened again.

"Oh man," I said finally after we calmed down enough. The two of us started looking at the party, watching everyone have a good time. I think even some of the people my parents had invited were even starting to enjoy it. I even saw a couple ducking into a closet for some privacy. "It's too bad it can't be like this every year," I commented. "I'm sure next time my parents are just going to lock everyone out again."

"Doesn't mean we can't have fun now," Dipper responded, glancing down. "And I know how we could start." He grabbed a tray of food and threw it on the ground.

"Why'd you just-?" I began, staring at him, then I noticed what we were standing on. My parents favorite carpet pattern, now a dirty mess. There was half a second of _My parents are going to kill me_ but then I realized that carpet would be the least of their concerns after tonight. So when Riley, one of Charlie's chefs, walked by carrying two serving plates, I didn't think twice about 'accidentally' knocking them out of his hands.

"Nice one," Dipper told me, grabbing a jug of apple cider and pouring it onto the floor, causing another round of laughter between the two of us.

"Hey, I'm gonna go change," I told him, walking towards the steps. I stopped after a second and, glancing around me to make sure no one was watching, I ran back and gave him a quick hug. "Thanks, for everything," I told him, pulling away and running upstairs before he could respond at all. Something I had learned about boys was that you couldn't force them to like you. You confuse them a bit and let them figure out their feelings before you…

"Oh my God," I whispered, stopping at the top of the stairs, realizing what I was thinking. Man, today had been crazy, and when I glanced back and saw the crazy old guy from the junk yard pull Dipper and his sister behind a pillar, I knew that things were going to get much, much crazier, and soon.

 **Fiddleford's POV**

Thank them Gods that I had been able to get in here. I normally had never cared about all that fancy stuff, but after what I found today, I would have burned this place down if I had to. But that would've been a loss cause this place was pretty nice, though I barely noticed it. After what I had found, all I was focused on was tellin' Dolly and them and figurin' out what to do next. But times like this were when I really wanted to know what had happened all those years ago. Chunks had come back here and there; bright lights, weird shapes, outlines of faces. But it wouldn't come into focus, though it was gettin' close. I could feel it.

I saw her, finally, talkin' with her brother, lookin' a bit like Izzy when we was little; an angel with a rebellious streak inside her. I was about to just grab 'em and pull 'em aside, but that would cause a scene, so instead I just walked up normally.

"Woo!" I called, gettin' their attention. I started hamboning as I said some random gibberish (somethin' bout Scooby-Doo and goats) to make it look like we was just talkin'. But I saw Dolly understand what I had meant. _Found something. Need to talk._ I grabbed their shoulders and pulled 'em behind one of them stone pillars, making sure no one was watchin' us. When I knew it was safe, I put on my readin' glasses.

"I been lookin' for ya both," I said quickly, still lookin' to make sure there were no wire-tappers nearby. "I fixed up my laptop. I been doin' calculations and I think somethin' terrible is comin'! The apocalypse! The End Times!"

"You believe all that Mayan stuff too?" Dolly asked me, laughin' to herself. This wasn't good. She wasn't takin' me seriously. I had to show 'em the-

"McGucket, let's talk about this stuff tomorrow, okay?" Dipper asked, focusin' on somethin' in the party. "Let's have some fun for once." He started walkin' towards the little Northwest girl, the two smilin' at each other. I turned back to Dolly and pulled my laptop out, openin' it up to show her the countdown. 18:00:00 and countin', the words IMMINENT THREAT above the countdown.

"You know I trust you," Dolly told me pointedly. I knew she was right bout that; I could tell cause of what she told me after all that Blind Eye BS. "Just, trust me on this one, okay? Whatever you think is gonna happen, we can handle it. Don't worry." Then she disappeared into the crowd too fast for me to see her.

"Dolly!" I called, but she was already gone. I sighed and turned back to my laptop, then I saw it. A tapestry showing a black triangle with a glowin' red eye burnin' the world, people bowin' down to him.

Everythin' was a blur after that. The was like the dam walls had opened up, allowin' all the memories that had been locked away to flood in, practically drownin' me. Before I knew it, I had my laptop in my hands and was runnin' out of the doors and back home, not carin' about the rain or anythin' else, just tryin' to avoid the memories that were coming back too fast to control. Faces comin' into focus; words, phrases, letters, voices and handwriting I had never expected to see or hear again; events that probably would have been better off forgotten. It was all too much. As soon as I got back, I threw my laptop onto a worktable and curled up in my bed to try and avoid it all. It was a while before I finally fell asleep.

But in the end, it wasn't enough. When I woke up the next morning, everythin' made sense, and I could remember my life again. And from the weird state of things, I knew that the machine was on, and it wasn't going to turn off again until it destroyed itself (even though it should really have been destroyed long ago). I also knew what this would do to Dolly and her family, and I couldn't be around for that. It would be hard enough on them as it is. My gettin' involved wouldn't help anybody. Besides, the memories for me were bad enough. I may not be able to escape what I have in my head, but I could at least limit the damage.

But that would mean I had to leave. I really didn't want to go. My son was here. My grandbaby would be here soon. My gadgets and gizmos were here. Dolly was here. My entire life was here. But I couldn't stay around while everything else was going on, so it was time. The day had finally come. I grabbed some papers and started writing out letters, to my son, to Dolly, to anyone who would care that I had left (not many). Then I packed up my things and as soon as the helicopters flew past (man, I didn't think it was that bad) I walked out of my home and up the road leading out of the valley. When I reached the top of the mountains, I couldn't help it. I glanced back and looked down at the town as I left Gravity Falls, my home, and my life, behind.


End file.
